sometimes i like what i write

shecalleditsavagery  asked:

What would you do if you got an offer of publication, but it was for the shittiest thing that you've ever written, you only submitted it because your friend made you, but they turned down all your good stuff so its either this or nothing?

As an editor, I’d probably point out that if “shittiest thing you’ve ever written” is getting published over your other stuff, then perhaps it is not as shitty as you think it is, and the publisher can see some merit to the idea that your other work is lacking.

Most books are not taken as are, they will be reworked, reworded and sometimes entirely reconstructed to make it into something More. Which isn’t to say that it wasn’t already good, only that it needed some tweaking to make it not only workable but Good. Like, this could be Huge, Good.

Also, what is so different about it that you don’t like it compared to your other work? Is it no the genre you imagined yourself writing for? What don’t you personally like about it that you consider it lesser. Are you harboring outdated ideas about genre validity or measuring your worth in comparison to writers you enjoy?

Like, I get maybe you’re meaning it in terms of “I word vomited this thing out in a week, but the novel I worked on for a year is being rejected, what the fuck is wrong with the publishing industry” but honestly I have seen SO many authors making claims that they are “only” writing Romance until their “real work” gets picked up and like…that’s so sad because that *is* real work? It is a *real* novel? Idk. 

And hilariously, I’ve submitted what I thought were really great ideas to places before, only to have them shot down in favor of the batshit insanity I cook up at 3am while on tumblr, so, y’know, sometimes you gotta go where the universe wants to take you I guess.

Mini- Scenario (Yoongi x Reader)

Genre: Angst

I’m stressed as fuck with my finals 😭 Hope you like this! It was based in the song IDFC by Blackbear 🖤

I don’t like to ask it but I would love some feedback 🖤

Originally posted by meanyoongis

Another night waiting on this couch. Another night wondering where are him. Another night waiting for him to come home. To come back to my arms.

Sometimes I questioned myself “What the fuck I’m doing with a guy like that” “ I deserve better and anyone deserve be treated like this , the problem is I love him, I love his touch, I love his kiss, I love his soul and all his pretty lies and his ” I love you" that don’t mean shit for him, deep in I know is fake.


Slowly the door open and a half drunk Yoongi comes to me and take a sit by my side! He wonders why I’m wake at this time and I should be sleeping. I ask him where have him been and he says a lot of things no making any sense but I don’t fucking care, in the end of the day he came back to me right?!


- I’m so sorry Y/N I couldn’t answer you ‘cause my phone dies baby! It won’t happen again okay?! Now should we go sleep hun..

- I understand baby! - I mumble while follow him to the bedroom.

I watch him taking of his clothes,smelling a feminine perfume, my heart ache but what can I do? He lays down by my side and his arm grab my waist, his nose nuzzles on my neck while he whisper I love you.

I know is fake, you don’t love me at all.

- I love you so much Y/N! Have sweet dreams baby!

- I love you too Yoongi! So much

And I will love you until you keep coming to me, until you keep pretending you are mine 'cause in the end I don’t fucking care at all…

anonymous asked:

that other message you got motivated me to send some of my thoughts to you. regardless of how show progresses and eventually ends, i've learned a lot from the spn fandom. reading the discussion and meta have added a lot of tools to my, uh, media analysis toolkit, if i can call it that. reading what others write about spn has really made my consumption of spn and media in general much more entertaining. it's been educational, honestly. so, thanks. :D

Hey, thanks for sending this message! <3 I sat on it a while but I have no clue how to answer except yeah, the same happened to me when I came here :P Sometimes I think all the useful stuff I know about stories I got from the internet and just doing a Literature degree gave me the tools to appreciate it… Like TV Tropes doing waaay more for my understanding of some things than creative writing classes. And then fandom helping me learn practical battlefront literary analysis… :P 

What a fun place XD

anonymous asked:

Stars, polaroids, sunsets ♡

Stars: What are your favorite blogs?
probably @poesiemensch @avodoca @w-ortmagier @stammtischphilosoph @wolfsdasein @coffeenovels @artceae @liittlecomets @hamil-puff @nnachtluft  @holmessick @peachistry @zooiboo and honestly there’s so many more but these are just the ones i could immediately think of please don’t be upset if you’re not in there I’m following like 800 people currently and like. It’s a lot. Don’t hate me.

Polaroids: What is your favorite thing about yourself?
Oh god. Uh, probably.. okay so it can be a pain in the ass sometimes but usually, I’m a very, very passionate person? Like, it gets me hurt quite frequently and usually by myself, but it helps with writing and art in general, and it makes me feel really deeply, for example, when I’m in love, I’M IN LOVE. If that makes sense.. I just feel in extremes and all that (aka I’m the most sensitive little shit ever) but like my passion and determination has kept me going so often, through hard times or stress at school or long projects or anything, really, and I’m very grateful for that.
Or just that I’m a rlly creative person. It’s great. I love it. Even if I’d rather be good at maintaining contact or like being normal or mentally stable, in the end, my work is pretty much what defines me, so. I really like it.

Sunsets: If you could paint the sky any colors, what would they be?
Yellow. Always yellow.
But honestly I would probably get sick of seeing it be yellow all the time so I would probably tell the sky to just be whatever color it wants to be and not fear change. So we’ll get to see it in different colors every day.

Thank you so much for asking ♥♥ hope you have a nice day!!

anonymous asked:

You had long back once made a post regarding character comparison between Shivaay and Gauri, and I really liked it. Can you (if its not too much to ask) make a similar character comparison of Anika and Omkara? I know Anika has much more in common with Rudra. But I feel in their relationships, if Shivaay takes the lead in Shivika, then Gauri does in case of Rikara. I find Anika and Omkara rather reticent sometimes. What do you think?

Hello anon! 

I’d say the old Om had more in common with Anika than the Om now. Now, not only is he’s more hardened and cynical and Shivaay-like due to the stuff he’s been through, but also from a writing POV, he has to be that way coz he has to play foil to Gauri, who’s got her own similarities to Anika. So keep in mind that a lot of these may be wrt The Old Om™.

  • Snark!max personalities with limited BS tolerance. Frequently exasperated by those around them and their choices.
    • Please note that they themselves make suuuuuuper-dumb choices when left to their own devices, so idk what really gives them the right to judge, lol.
  • Both have a way with words, but in completely different ways; Om with poetry, and Anika with dramatic hyperbole.
  • Both are the creative types; though Anika channels hers through event management and fashion.
  • Both have a balanced sorta personality, where they’re seen as the “sensible” one, but they aren’t staid or boring. Have a pretttyyyyy good sense of humour (they both especially enjoy taking the piss outta someone.)
    • That “good sense” takes a beating when we’re talking about family matters though. They’re sometimes unable to be objective about their family members.
      • lol, no issues when it comes to calling out Shivaay on his BS though.
  • Both are intrinsically guided by what is good and right. They aren’t above fudging and bending the rules a little bit, but they (usually) won’t stoop to downright flagrant rule-breaking like Shivaay/Gauri do. 
  • They’re the only two who can see through Shivaay's “Great Wall” persona and provide him comfort and support. And indeed, the only two whom Shivaay will (kiiiiinda) take seriously when they call him out on his crap, coz he knows they know and see him for who he REALLY is; they’re not intimidated or fooled by the SSO image that he puts on.
  • Both are bleeding-heart socialist, ‘down with capitalism! eat the rich!’ types (which makes Shivaay roll his eyes.) If they weren’t ~tEh oBErOis~~~~ you bet they’d be hanging out at some workers union protests. In fact I’d like to think they do it anyway, much to the frustration of Tej and Shivaay. 
  • While Shivaay and Gauri are the kind who are quick to anger and immediately react, Anika and Om simmer in their anger and it builds up till they blowwwww the fuck up. They’re sulkers, who passive aggressively reply “nothing 😤😤😤” when asked why they’re upset.

Rather than being similar, I think Anika and Om have complementary personalities. They’re not the same, but they’re on the same side of the emotional/psychological spectrum compared to their spouses, who tend to be on the other end. This means they’re are empathetic to each other, and can put themselves in each other’s shoes (unlike Shivaay and Gauri, who may sometimes not understand why their partner may be upset or doing the things that they are doing, and vice versa.) They’re kindered souls, who formed the first real bond on the show; sure, Rudra also liked Anika immediately, but in an immature, childish way (purely because he finds Shivika’s clashes amusing.) Om is the first one who truly respects and understands Anika and her ideals and everything that she stands for. I think it’s Om’s approval and constant vouching for Anika that brings her into the Obros’ inner circle and into Shivaay’s orbit in the first place. Shivaay knew that Om, the one who knew him the best (also the most honest and forthright person he knew), thought of Anika in high regards, and that had to subconsciously weigh in Anika’s favour as time went on. 

anonymous asked:

I understand the fact that you don't like it, and that you don't want people to stole(?) your idea, but do you really recognised when it's yours? I've read yours headconcept(?) and many times I've been like that's what I've written on my story (Fr) and I was all exited thinking we were just on the same mood/wave or oh that's remind me of that fic. and etc. I mean sometimes when I'm writing and I don't really know how to put something I do research and that's helpful. (1)...

(2)my teacher always told me to read mountains of books,to do my research and to discuss with other I don’t mean to upset you and what I said could sound harsh because I don’t know how to put it Plagiarism is not a good thing and I’m not saying that you should allow it but I would really like to know how you see that’s it’s yours? when you see all of your thoughts elsewhere I think you can sense it right? That’s happened to me but when I see a story that’s looks like mine I don’t see plagiarism

(3) when I see a story or a fic that’s looks like mine I just think that me and that author have had the same idea but our stories are ours because we don’t have the same style of writing, and when I see that’s the story is too similar to mine I did get upset but I still don’t know if the author has stolen my idea or if it’s just coincidence because I can’t proof(?) it so how do you do ?

so i just talked to two of my coworkers, one of whom is a professor of literature and the other who has worked years in the publishing industry. both of them are well-versed in writing and the writing world and will inform a lot of what i’m about to say!

okay so first of all, yes, it is very important for writers to read and do a lot of research to find what appeals to you. i’m heavily influenced by some of my favorite writers (neil gaiman, han kang, franz kafka, haruki murakami) and constantly draw inspiration from them. things become more gray when you enter the world of fandom though. because unlike conventional stories where the characters are ocs, writing for ships means that everyone is writing about the same people. naturally some of our ideas will overlap here and there (which, honestly, is one of the reasons why i don’t read bts fics anymore now that i write a lot) and can cause issues around plagiarism. 

i can usually tell when someone has taken my work. how? some of my headcanons are so specific and unique (like the initial drabble i wrote for “across the universe” which was taken by another user or my headcanon list i wrote for minjoon being next door neighbors which was literally taken word for word, even the dialogue) that if the person is using the same ship and the same exact scenario, chances are, they’re drawing from something i wrote. like you said before, sometimes people have similar ideas but the execution is so different they read like completely different stories. this is the gray area. this is the difficult part of fandom writing. and this is why i (like i said before) i personally prefer not to read other bts fics or discuss/swap headcanons with other bts writers.

once your writing is “fixed in any tangible medium of expression” it is protected under copyright. what does that mean? any writing i post on my blog is mine and if i read another persons work and i think they’ve taken a huge chunk out of something i’ve created, i have the right to call them out on it. 

the reason why i feel so strongly about all of this is because i know that while some of my writing is just about ships at the moment, in the future they may feed into larger, original works. i’m super happy to give people advice about my process of writing and where i draw my inspiration, but my writing is not meant for others to take.

bottom line is, any work you post is yours and while it’s great if people love what you post and draw inspiration from your style, if you prefer them to not take from your writings and you clearly state it, they should respect your wishes.

anonymous asked:

Do you have any tips for conversations in stories? Most of the time the conversations I write between characters turn out bland.

Cut out the unnecessary fluff (the “hey, how are you?”s and questions about the weather, unless they’re there for a reason, like a character trying to avoid a conversation). What helps me with dialogue is to write out an entire conversation before writing the scene itself, that way the dialogue is quicker and I don’t have a lot of time to marinate on what the characters are saying, making them a bit more natural.

If that doesn’t help, than maybe it’s just a boring topic for conversation. Sometimes dialogue just isn’t going to work, no matter how hard you push it.

“I think that if I ever met a mermaid, I’d want to talk with them about what it feels like to fly. I’m sure their swimming is a similar comparison.”

“Cas, you know mermaids don’t exist, right?” Dean said, a smile playing on his lips and one arm resting along Castiel’s shoulders. Cas rambling on about odd subjects while they lay in bed together was not an unusual occurrence, but an endlessly amusing one for Dean.

Castiel frowned and turned his head to look at Dean.

“What makes you say that?”

“Well, I don’t know if you noticed, but I kind of come into contact with a lot creatures like that.” Dean shrugged his shoulders, gesturing at himself. “I think with all the hunters that have ever lived, one of us would have noticed if mermaids exist.”

“Not too long ago you would have said that angels didn’t exist.”

“Yeah, but -”

“And you do realize that you’re arguing with someone who has witnessed the creation of all of earth’s creatures since the beginning of time?”

“Um, I mean - I guess…”

“So, you can say with certainty - knowing that humans have only explored less than five percent of your world’s ocean - that there are absolutely no mermaids living there?”

Dean paused, snapping his mouth shut as he stared back at the angel, trying to read between the lines.

“Cas… are you implying that you know mermaids exist?”

Castiel’s amused smile faded into something more nonchalant as he sat up and stretched his arms above his head.

“I’m going to get a glass of water. Do you want anything?”

“Cas,” Dean leaned over to make a desperate grab at his arm to keep him in bed and missed, as Castiel had already stood up. “C’mon, Cas. Wait - are mermaids real??”

Castiel grinned and began putting on a robe, cinching it loosely around his waist.

The silence dragged on while Castiel walked over to the bedroom door, tugging it open and turning to glance over his shoulder agonizingly slowly.

“I’ll have to ask the Loch Ness Monster.”

The door shut behind him.

Ravenclaw Headcanon

Ravenclaws love and hate ambient noise. It needs to be a specific kind of noise depending on what they’re doing, and if it varies too far from the ambient noise they wanted, they just find it distracting.

Unfamiliar with Miles Morales?

Saw that trailer of Spider-man: Into the Spider-verse, but you do not know much about Miles? I got you, fam.


Okay, this is going to be really thorough because Miles is under the pen of Brian Michael Bendis. If you are unfamiliar with Bendis’ style of writing, then I’ll explain it to you. Bendis is not a fan of the complete comic book. What I mean is that he will not wrap up a story in one or two issues because he focuses on developing aspects of the plot such as characters, their motivations, and the overall nuances to the world around him. Bendis displaces immediate action in favor of overall plot. He sacrifices pacing for development and most critics of his point out that sometimes they aren’t getting a complete comic book instead it just feels like a part in a story. I say “buy volumes, asshole” or just appreciate how well defined the world is.

Anyways, here we go.

Miles is a Black Latino American born in Brooklyn and is the son of Rio Morales and Jefferson Morales, formerly known as Jefferson Davis. Miles has an Uncle Aaron who does not get along with Jefferson nor Rio for reasons I won’t specify at the moment. Miles’ story begins when his mom and dad drag him to a Lottery. What kind of Lottery, you ask? Well…

A lottery that poor inner city kids enter into to receive private school education so that they actually have a chance at a decent life instead of thrust into Public School Zoning where they will most likely get shot at, join a gang, do drugs, and/or receive poor education. This is not made up. This actually happens in real life. Notice how there is a lot of people of color here? And before some asshole makes the remark that this is a handout, these kids are gifted and had to take a test to be entered in the lottery. Miles and a lot of these kids passed so they do possess the intellect to get in these schools. They don’t possess the money however. Anyways, Miles gets his lucky number drawn, 42(Jackie Robinson’s Baseball number if you don’t realize the symbolism), and he becomes enrolled in Brooklyn Visions Academy.

You’d expect Miles to be happy, but no one wants to be that jackass to be happy during someone else’s funeral or will reading. Not a great analogy, but you have future? Great. Everybody else is just screwed though? …Okay? Yeah. So Miles decides to tell his Uncle Aaron the news and he is proud of him. He mentions that he has an opportunity that he and Miles’ dad didn’t have when they were growing up and tells Miles that this is a ticket out of this cesspool a.k.a the hood…not what culture appropriating white people call the hood or I’m talking motherfucking get your shit janked Hood.

Miles sits down on a couch while he and Aaron are talking and he notices a pack with a mysterious red case.Aaron decides to get his nephew a Popsicle and notices that Miles is messing around with his stuff. Aaron acts all sketchy and quickly tells Miles that it is nothing when prompted and takes the case while handing Miles the Popsicle. Of course, Miles completely ignores the sketchiness of his Uncle because fucking Popsicles, man. His Uncle leaves him for a bit and Miles just chills out on the couch eating his swirl orange and lemon flavored treat. Oh yes, this is the life. Your parents are proud of you because you did something. People giving you popsicles and shit. Nothing can ruin this moment. He woke up this morning feeling like he got to thank God. He don’t know why, but this day was feeling kind of odd. 5-Oh did not even do no flexing. Sheeeyat, they did not  even look in a brother’s direction. No Stop and Frisk in this bitch! Today was a good day.

Well shit.

That is right. A mysterious spider with the number 42(symbolism) on it’s thorax bites Miles. He freaks out and flings that eight legged fuck large motherfucker off his hand. Miles then trips over his Uncle’s coffee table and begins to have a seizure. His Uncle Aaron finds him on the ground as Miles begins to pass out. Miles wakes up and finds his Uncle tending to him. Apparently, Aaron had to call daddy Morales and Papa was about to stomp his foot up in Aaron’s ass.

Miles freaks out while Aaron and Jefferson are arguing and he decides to runaway from the commotion. Jefferson notices that Miles and missing and decides to go after him. He heads out the apartment and sees a swathe of people, but no little Miles. He heads out into the crowd, but there is a faint voice calling out to him that he doesn’t notice. As Jefferson keeps looking, Miles stands up and notices that something changed in himself.

Miles panics and begins to run away. He sees a pair of handymen carrying a T.V. in front of him and he is going full speed at them. 

Motherfucka got hops like MJ. That is like a 72 inch leap. 6 feet in the air. Kobe be like, “Dayuum.” The crowd impressed with the nastiness stops and looks at the boy only for him to turn invisible. People freak out and Miles gets away from the crowd. He eventually meets up with a bunch of teenagers who are standing in front of an apartment. One of them tries to rob little Miles of his bookbag. Miles, not having their shit, grabs him by the arm and clings to his belongings for dear life. Something happened when Miles grabbed the little bastard and the bully stepped back in feeling something is wrong. All of the sudden, a surge of electricity courses through his body and the asshole is knocked out. The other teens watched the event and Miles feeling all big and bad yells out the teens to leave him alone…and then he runs away like a dork.

Eventually Miles meets up with his best friend, Ganke(pronounced Gain-Key). It also might be a nickname for Gankeyama. Regardless, Miles tries to show Ganke his power to turn invisible and well..

Ganke is not too impressed. Failing at the task, Miles inadvertently touches Ganke’s Lego construction that he was working on before Miles arrived at his place and…

This nigga did not just…

Oh hell no. No joke, I would have fucked Miles’ shit up if I were Ganke. Anyways, Ganke is impressed with the display in spite of Miles wrecking his hard worked on Lego construction. A really fucking impressive Lego boat. With sails and everything. Miles lucky that he is a friend because shit would have gone down. 

Miles is not particularly thrilled that he has these new abilities. You see, in the Ultimate Universe having powers or even being a mutant sucks after Magneto and Dr.Doom decided to flood New York. Think like being a Muslim after 9/11. Yeah that bad.

Ganke and he are talking until Papa Morales arrives and takes Miles away. He is a little peeved that Miles ran away from him earlier, but they have a little father-son talk in New York Central Park. Jefferson tells Miles that Uncle Aaron is a bad person and is a cat burglar. He also tells Miles that Aaron has been and jail…and so has he.

Could you imagine telling your son that? They are raised to believe that only bad people go to jail and police are their friends. Then you have to tell them that you were a criminal. You were a bad guy. It is a conversation that you never want to have with your kids, but they have to know.  Miles is amazed, but Jefferson is annoyed. His words?

So Papa Morales hates Mutants or people with super powers in general. Miles thinks he is a mutant and he knows he has super powers. Oh shit, character dynamics. Miles gets taken home by Grumpy Morales and then he gets a text from Ganke at night.

Miles has spider powers. And then the plot thickens…or thins…or lengthens? Whatever. Anyways, Ganke immediately comes over after Miles presumably texts back telling him what he just did and wants to see it from himself. Miles shows him.

Of course, Ganke is stoked that his best friend is Spider-man. After discussion, Miles and Ganke decide to go to Aaron and ask where the spider came from. They go to his apartment only to find the place emptied out. 

Well that is not strange or peculiar for a man to empty out his apartment after a day? Anyways, that is not important to you right now.

They head back out and then they see a building on fire and the fire department trying to rescue a woman in distress.

In an act of heroism, Miles saves a woman and a little girl. He should be really proud of himself right? 

So yeah, Miles doesn’t become a superhero because he rationalizes that there is already a Spider-man around. He can see the writing on the wall with how dangerous it is. He is scared. He is afraid. So Miles decides to live a normal life and goes to school. He does his homework and just lives his life.

And then, he gets a nightmare that Electro shocks him to death. 

His Resident Assistant wakes both Ganke and Miles up and tells them to go to the auditorium. They get the news.

Well shit, man.

Miles decides to help Spider-man. Someone busted a cap in Spider-man red and blue ass and it also turns out Spider-man is fighting the Sinister Six while shit is going down in New York for reasons that I won’t bother explaining. Miles eventually arrives in Queens, in front of Peter’s home.

But it is too late.

Miles feels bad because he feels like this is his fault. He feels that he was coward for not trying to reach Spider-man. Maybe he could have helped him. He was given these powers for a reason and he chose not to use them and now Spider-man is dead because he was scared of his dad. He was scared of what others would have thought. He didn’t take responsibility and now Peter Parker is dead. 

Damn. Of course, Ganke puts in a different perspective. 

Miles and Ganke go to Peter Parker’s funeral where there are hundred of people gathered around. And they witness the impact, Spider-man had on people. They witness Aunt May and Gwen are stopped by a little girl who tells Aunt May that Peter rescued this little girl from a fire and she did not die because of him.

Miles calls over Gwen Stacey and asks why he did what he did. She shrugs him off at first still visibly upset. But eventually Gwen Stacey gives him this answer.

This is the connection between Miles and Peter.  Through people who knew Peter, Miles becomes inspired just as Spider-man hoped his message of Great Power, Comes Great Responsibility. Just as that message was passed onto to his fans, the message is passed onto Miles. We will never personally know Peter Parker, but we are inspired by him all the same.

So Miles decides to redesign a costume and try his hand at crime fighting. Of course, Miles can’t sow so Ganke buys him one.

So Miles has the costume, the powers, and now all he has to do is just walk out there and do it, right?

Nope.

Of course this doesn’t deter the little guy and he decides to keep at it until he gets a better costume. Although there are still people pissed that Miles is wearing Peter’s costume.

Spider-woman is pretty pissed that someone just decides to take up the mantle. So she confronts the new Spidey on top of a building. She accidentally knocks him out, captures him, and takes him to SHIELD headquarters. Miles wakes up to Iron Man, Hawkeye, and Nick Fury, with Spider-woman of course, watching him behind a force field. 

That is right, Miles. Plead the fifth. 

Nick Fury goes on to tell Miles that Aaron is also the Prowler. He also tells him that he needs a new costume if he wants to keep doing this. Of course,  this interaction gets interrupted when fucking Electro busts out of prison, again. Seriously, why do they still keep villains in the same place where SHIELD headquarters are? Did they learn nothing?

Iron Man, Jessica Drew, and Hawkeye engage Electro to no avail. Electro is hellbent on killing Nick Fury so instead of trying to escape, he sticks around for his own personal headhunt. Of course, he is shocked(see what I did there) to see Spider-man still alive.

He subdues Electro. Kid is a G. So next day, he tells Ganke what happened and then they are confronted by a girl holding a suitcase.

And I’m ending this right here. By the way, this is the first 5 issues of the comic. I intentionally left out details as to where the spider came from and how did Peter end up getting shot and what exactly is the deal with his Uncle Aaron.

So this is Miles Morales.

Music & More

Dear Friends

Holy BELLS! It’s been 5 weeks since I posted. My life has suddenly gotten very busy after floating around like a little lost lamb for 18 months. I’ve been studying some psychology modules at uni, which I absolutely love, and I’m gearing up to test my ideas for my next musical project over Christmas. So, I’m going to use this site as a diar/ creative notepad over the next few months. There is a dream plan I have for marinabook, but I have no brain space right now to think about anything but music and psychology. I’m not sure if this is connected to the introvert/baseline level of arousal thing I talked about in this post but, god damn it!! My brain space/brain RAM can handle only so much thinking!

Today I finished the first term of uni and I felt a happiness I haven’t known for a very long time. I’m so full of glee I’m acting like I’ve LITERALLY GRADUATED (*goes to university once*). I went on a shopping spree 5 minutes after it, as if it were 2007 and I were blowing my student loan willy-nilly into ongoing traffic. Some people on this blog have asked me what it’s like going back to university as a mature student… Well, it’s pretty wonderful. I love using the library, which is in a beautiful part of central London, and I love being around people of all ages from different professions. It’s very refreshing and is a real comfort to me to know that the option to study new subjects will always be there throughout my adult life (The uni is tailored to part time degrees and evening classes, so you can study module by module if you like). I have some essays that I may adapt for this site, one discussing the extent to which personality is biological and another on attachment theory and how useful it is in explaining the origins of personality disorders. I had heard about Attachment Theory before,but after reading it in depth I’ve been interpreting behaviours in a completely different way. I think learning about attachment styles could be of benefit to anyone. I would have loved to have worked in child or developmental psychology if I hadn’t been an artist. Hopefully I can combine both worlds one day.

Whilst I’m far from starting the next campaign, I’ve been thinking about how I can create a better life for myself as an artist, on a day-to-day level, but also how I can best spend my energy in contributing something positive or helpful. The privileges of making art for a living are so huge, but one of the things that I have always found difficult is a lack of routine, or consistency. Traditional album cycles were very off/on in the past; You made your album, created your visual world, went on promotion, then went off on tour and kissed goodbye to the sweet life you’d scratched out for yourself between albums. Then 2 years later it’s all over again, you’re faced with a big space and you feel strange trying to integrate yourself back into your old life. There is no ‘how to’ guide to mental health + being an artist. I’m going to try my best to do things differently this time. Some people enjoy the cycles, others work better with consistent medium-intensity work (i.e me). I like to work hard, but not *too* hard. What can I say… I enjoy my life…

Pic of me enjoying life. My kitten does not look like she’s enjoying hers particularly. RUDE.

In between music and creative posts, I might start doing introductory posts on topics I would like to explore more for MarinaBook, to gain a perspective on peoples thoughts and feelings before writing the actual piece (e.g. Millennial marriage + what role it plays for our generation). The motivation for me to write definitely lies in a format where readers can contribute their own questions or thoughts and make the project collaborative and human. Perhaps I could have a monthly guest post on here from a reader on a specific topic… I have a few ideas I’m going to trial so bear with me!

Whether in writing or music, what I love most is a feel of relation and connection with other people in the world. And it’s something I’ve missed as an artist in recent years, just talking freely and naturally with people. It’s made me consider what kind of visual message I want to project going forward in order to be able to have more of this. Writing on this site has made me feel human again and I have you to thank for that! People have been so open and supportive. It’s not easy to write some of the posts - each one takes me literally 5 days because I write slower than snails crawl - and sometimes it feels unnatural/uncomfortable to be open. But the responses are worth it. Love reading your messages. Would like to do some talks again with you in 2018 (like the Oxford one last year) focusing more on the topics we discuss on here.

If this post reads like a highly frazzled person who hasn’t seen the sky for 4 days because she just finished her uni exams, that would be accurate. I miss you all a lot and look forward to talking more soon. I’m looking forward to the new year and creating a beautiful new project for you (and for me).

Love,
Marina xxx

PS. Here is a little vid of me writing something.

The “Kiss”

Of course, inspired by the TNHMB music video.

~~~

“I kissed her cheek.” Shawn’s tells you over the phone, and for a second, you’re thoroughly confused. It sounds like he’s confessing something, but at the same time, kissing someone on the cheek is hardly something to confess to. At least not in your opinion, considering you come from a culture where people do that as a greeting. You can’t count the number of times you’ve kissed someone’s cheek when you barely even knew the person’s name.

“What are you talking about?” You question, still confused as to why this seems like a big deal to him.

“Ellie, I kissed her cheek for the video.” He clarifies. “It was supposed to look like an actual kiss,” He pauses then adds, “It was supposed to be an actual kiss, but I couldn’t do it.”

Keep reading

Tumblr interaction and entitlement

Recently, I didn’t reply to someone who had messaged me on Tumblr and this person reacted by blocking me, so that when I found time to answer the message, I had typed up my reply, and, obviously, couldn’t send it. I thought, well, that’s kind of a petty response to someone not answering right away (never mind that it would be sometimes days or weeks before I answer people’s messages on other forums, and they would be cool with it). I thought about this, and I thought about mentioning it, and the reason I’ve decided to talk about it is because it goes back to perceptions about interaction with others that we all need to be mindful of.

If someone sends me a message that I don’t answer right away or don’t answer at all it’s because:

  • I’m busy - I have a life that’s not Tumblr and that takes precedence.
  • I’m thinking of what to say - I sometimes need to do that. Thoughts aren’t always completely formed in my head, and I don’t write without thinking.
  • I’m not emotionally capable of responding - I’m upset about the thing you’re asking me about or I’m processing, so I can’t talk right now.
  • I don’t want to talk - everyone should be allowed to be silent if they feel like it.
  • I don’t have any more to say - if all I’m going to do is repeat myself, or if the conversation has come to a natural end, then I’m not going to say any more.
  • Tumblr got hungry and ate your message - which means I didn’t get it, which means I obviously couldn’t reply.

But, what all this really comes down to is this: no one is entitled to my attention. Message me by all means, but no one has an automatic right to my time or my emotional reassurance, even if I’ve provided it before. I’m a nice person: I like to talk to people and be reassuring and positive, but I am not a bottomless well of understanding and reassurance. I’m someone who needs time to process my own feelings and replenish my own stock of positivity, particularly when I’m upset about something. We are all entitled to make ourselves available to anyone or no one as we see fit.

So, anyone who feels like they’re entitled to my time or yours, and who gets petty or upset when they don’t get it, is not someone I or you need in our lives anyway. Respect yourself and your emotions and your time, and forget about anyone who can’t accept that.

6

40+ Up: Ban Ji Yeon (Witch’s Romance)

My Cleansing Routine

I just posted a cleansing masterpost, but I thought I should make an addition by posting my personal cleansing routine! I’m going to write out in bullets what I do and give an explanation below them. Hopefully this is helpful!

Cleansing TO-DO List:

  • clean my space
  • take care of chores
  • smoke cleanse
  • meditate
  • self-love
  • gratitude

🔮 First and foremost, cleaning is probably the BEST thing to do when you’re trying to rid yourself of nasty energy. Having your space clean takes the clutter out of your mind, aura, etc. Clean space, happy mind. So, I start out with cleaning my room and taking care of any chores that I may need to do whether it’s making my bed, doing laundry, cleaning my bathroom, anything. Accomplishing those tasks can feel so rewarding and it really takes the weight off of your shoulders!

🔮 Smoke cleansing. I use either regular sage or white sage, it really doesn’t matter. Sage is sage. I do this straight after I clean my space. I also love to use sandalwood or dragon’s blood incense. From my own experience, they rid of any nasty energy that’s around me or inside of me.

🔮 Meditation. It’s something that everybody talks about and so many people hate. I didn’t like it for such a long time, and I thought that I could never do it. But I can. Meditation is so immensely helpful in all aspects of our lives. Spiritual and mundane, it doesn’t matter. It still helps. I love guided meditations that exist to assist you with balancing your chakras, clearing your mind, gratitude, breathing exercises, all of that. I also use energy work while I do meditation so that I can make sure there aren’t any blockages, especially in my solar plexus.

🔮 Self-love. I work with Aphrodite so this is an important thing for me that I also dedicate for her. She always tells me how I give myself a hard time and that I really need to calm down. So what she usually suggests to me is taking a hot bath or just a plain shower. It always makes me feel good on the outside and on the inside. I also sometimes just sit there and paint my nails or make myself some tea or cook some yummy food for myself. Feeling good is such an important thing and I think it’s amazingly beneficial and can change lives.

🔮 Gratitude. This one is quite short and simple. I have a gratitude journal which I like to write in, or, I like to write lil letters to the universe to just say thank you and sit there for a moment and appreciate all that I have now and all that I have accomplished.

Lich King Boyfriend Part One

Part one of three! You have the wonderful and ever amazing @ladyccr to thank for this wonderful story. I hope you all enjoy it as much as I loved writing it.

I have never attempted to hide my disdain for humans. In fact, it used to be something I would relish in. I was young once, although that may seem impossible for something like me. I was once bloodthirsty. I was vengeful and cruel. I fought in countless wars that were carried out in several different names. Sometimes it was the same war just in a different era. Now that I look back, I actually can’t tell them apart anymore. As I grow older and wiser I can see that, no matter what banner I fought under, war is the same dance.

Keep reading

He shouldn’t be surprised.

I fell in love with someone else.

He knew something was wrong when Shiro suddenly stopped texting him everyday.

I met him a month ago and I know it’s fast but… It’s like we know each other since forever.

They weren’t a couple, just friends. And yes, maybe they kissed a few times, and maybe they acted like a couple, but that didn’t mean anything. They were still just friends, and Shiro fell in love with someone else. And who could blame him? Lance was in a different city, miles away from him. And this new boy, this Keith, Shiro kept talking about, was besides him eveyday.

I like him a lot and I thought you should know.

It was only fair, right?

I don’t want to hurt you, Lance.

But Lance was hurt anyways. He couldn’t help it. He confessed to Shiro before leaving for college, and Shiro opened his heart to him in return.

I don’t want things to change between us.

You promised they won’t change?

I promise.

He didn’t keep their promise.

When Shiro started ignoring again Lance knew what was coming.

I finally asked him out!

Lance tried his best to be happy for him, he truly did. But the wound was still fresh, and Shiro was moving on and Lance was stuck with a broken heart.

Still, Lance tried to make things work. To make their friendship work. He tried being there for Shiro when he was having a hard time, he kept going to Shiro when he felt lost, he tried to joking about stupid things and tried to talk about nothing and everything. He tried so hard to make things stay the same. But they just… Weren’t.

Shiro was not the same and even when Lance was only trying to keep their friendship alive, something was different. Shiro was colder, and after many uncomfortable conversations with him, Lance realised he was the only one making the effort.

Now it’s been three months.

Shiro and Lance haven’t spoken since.

Shiro stopped replying his texts, and Lance got tired of searching for something that was not there anymore.

Lance is still hurt. He can’t forget, he can’t move on. And he feels pathetic when he finds himself thinking Shiro.

His friends tells him not to worry, to give it time. Recovering from a heartbreak its never easy.

But Lance doesn’t think it’s fair to need so much time to get over Shiro when he easily forgot about him.

bearlennox  asked:

Hi there, if you still accept request, I would like to request a HC when MC is wearing the lords'/ninjas' white kimono (not sure if it's called a kimono, usually used for sleeping one), like if in modern times is like wearing the boyfriend shirt thing (ʃƪ¬‿¬) Thanks in advanceand good day to you :"3

Re: the boyfriend shirt - I once read this book in which the lead female REALLY liked wearing her partner’s shirts. She used to wear her adopted father’s shirts too, so it was like a security blanket type thing for her? But the sizing wasn’t right for her and she was never quite happy with it, so their butler had some of the shirts resized (or got new ones in the same style??) and hung those in with the other clothes. He even had a system for knowing where to place those resized shirts so that she would be more likely to pick those over the regular ones. The lead male didn’t even know about this whole thing until he tried to put on one of the shirts and was like why the fuck doesn’t this fit

………..anyway so that’s the most extreme boyfriend shirt thing i’ve ever read in my life and now on to your request

MC wearing the boyfriend shirt

  • Slinky dresses aren’t comfortable for sleeping in, so Nobunaga lends her his college sweatshirt. It’s large and soft and comfy. She steals it and never brings it back. He orders more sweatshirts online so he can put her in one every time she comes over.
  • Somebody (MITSUHIDE!!) couldn’t wait to get to the bedroom, so her clothes have been abandoned somewhere near the apartment door. He wraps her in one of his pajama tops afterwards because he doesn’t believe in sleeping naked. What if she catches a cold?
  • Yukimura’s clothes are comfy and snuggly and all around amazing. She loves wearing them and makes all manner of excuses so that she can snag a shirt when she comes over. He’s completely oblivious and suggests that she leave some of her own clothes at his apartment.
  • After a while, Saizo buys some fancy female nightwear for her
    ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) she alternates between those and his shirts, depending on her mood and the occasion.
  • Masamune likes seeing her wear his clothes. It’s like proof that she’s his. It’s a little embarrassing that something so simple makes him feel so aroused and possessive, but it is what it is. She doesn’t seem to have figured it out, so he’ll keep it quiet.
  • She has seen the depths of Kojuro’s apartment. There is no way in hell she’s wearing his clothes.
  • She has been wearing Inuchiyo’s clothes from the time when they were just friends. It still turns him on, but he’s in denial about it. He’ll die before he tells her. (She already knows.)
  • Hideyoshi is perfectly happy to lend her clothes. He has good taste, so she starts raiding his closet regularly. Their friends aren’t sure who actually owns that hoodie. Is it his? Hers? Do they have two of the same thing? He likes to pretend to borrow her clothes as well. She plays along and takes joy in suggesting the most embarrassing things for him.
  • Kenshin feels more possessive than usual. The sight triggers his yandere side. He wants to go at it again.
  • Shingen is turned on and completely unashamed about it. She’s practically drowning in his shirt, the sleeves are falling off her shoulders, he’s getting an eyeful of cleavage…