would you write Isak with anxiety/having a panic attack?
heyyyy, sorry this took a while! i tried at least, it might not be very good but its based off personal experience, kind of?? So i’m sorry if it seems insensitive/inaccurate, this is just what i know of anxiety. I like to project onto issy k, but i do know my experience isn’t everyone’s :P enjoy! (thats probs not the right word to use)
Sometimes, Isak’s voice shakes when he talks.
Sometimes, he thinks of one million and one things he should have done differently.
Sometimes, he realises all of the ways in which he’s not good enough for Even.
Usually, it happens at night. In the hours between dusk and dawn, when his brain is at the loudest and the world is at its quietest, he thinks. He thinks too much, and sometimes Even will be awake to calm his brain, to reassure him with gentle words and calming touches, but sometimes he isn’t - and Isak can never bring himself to wake him up, even when it feels like his heart is jumping out of his chest or his mind is exploding with the ways in which he’s not good enough for him.
If he were to listen to his rational thoughts, he would know that Even would want him to wake him up, he would know that he would want to be awake to talk Isak through it, to give him comfort, and Isak wants that too, so desperately, but he can’t. He’s too far into the night already, too far lost in thoughts of not good enough, just a burden, not worth the trouble, and he can’t wake Even up for this. It’s stupid and pointless and he’s just overreacting anyway, he just needs to shut his brain up and sleep and he’ll be fine in the morning, everything will be fine.
He’s still lying awake, though. Nights like these are always sleepless.