sometimes i like to bring everything back

Your skin is sandpaper against mine, scraping off my dead skin and innocence. I am exposed, the most vulnerable I have ever been in my lifetime. You are peering into my soul as I stare into the tear stained shirt that adorns your body wishing that I could stop everything from falling, these tears and your heart Because I am realizing the more you know about me, the deeper you get into my soul, the harder it is for you to fly. The harder it is for you to keep going because you realize that I am broken. I am not using you but that’s what it seems like because there is so much wrong with my head you feel like you have to fix everything, please stop trying to fix everything. I am not your experiment. I am not a monster that you need to bring back to life and show off to the world, I am scared. I don’t need saving, I need you to stay. I need you to understand that sometimes I just can’t do it on my own and I need help getting across the river but you do not need to save me, because you can’t.
 Only I can save me from myself.
—  Stop trying to save me
10

Prince TaoTao being teased by HLs during his emotional speech at the concert.

One day when you grow up, you will have your own family and children. 
No matter if you are working or just a student, I wish you do what you like and be happy for everyday. Sometimes, you will be exhausted from all the hard work, but later you will find that it was all worth it.
No pain.No gain.What goes around comes back around.Time will prove everything. Time will take away all the bad things, time will help you forget. Don’t care about the haters, I wish everyday is a new beginning for everyone. I hope my songs motivate you, excite you and brighten up your mood.This is what I want to bring to you,
Even if I get older and you don’t love me anymore, I hope that you can always listen to my music. I will keep writing songs for you until I die. 
Thank you for everything.

You smell like Autumn
Like fallen leaves, broken branches and wet dirt beneath my feet.
You bring back memories, our laughter echoing around the car while we sang along to our favorite songs

Just like autumn, you have to go.
You leave me with winter, cold and alone the sound of ice crunching beneath my feet as I walk beside my sadness and wish for you again.

Spring comes, I’m not so alone. The trees begin to bloom as the ice melts and the birds singing almost brings me to my knees because its the more beautiful song I’ve ever heard.

When summer arrives I’m ready. I miss you but the heat brings warmth back to me and I feel a sense of peace, like laying in the sun and napping after a long day.

You come back with a bittersweet reminder that while everything may come to an end sometimes they come back and while no two seasons are the same, each is as beautiful as the last.

thesongofafeelies  asked:

Either dear best friend or dear person that I like ???? ♡♡

Hehehe I actually don’t like anyone atm so I guess it’s dear best friend!

Dear best friend, 

Oh my gods I miss you so much. It kinda sucks that we don’t text or skype as much as we used to. I guess it’s because of the time difference. On the group chats, by the time I wake up the conversation is over or all of you are asleep. I’ve always been awkward with conversation and now I don’t know what to talk about. I could talk about my fandoms, convince you to watch Voltron to see if you ship Klance (every person with eyes ships it). But always you bring it back around to the same subject. You’re always talking about the boy you like, always connecting everything to that.

It’s not that I mind. Sometimes the stories you tell make me laugh and sometimes they’re just frickin adorable, but I don’t know anything about that kind of stuff. I’ve never been in a relationship. I’ve never even had a crush. I don’t know how to respond to things like this. You tell me you miss him during break and I have no idea what to say. You ask me what I think and do I think he likes you but the truth is I don’t know. I can’t see love from a mile away. I don’t know anything. Maybe the way you’re acting is the same way I act with books, but sometimes I wish that we could step away from that subject for one second because I feel left out. For whatever reason, I don’t have the chance to have crushes like you do. I hear that I’m lucky, apparently. But also, I know that nobody has a crush on me, the weird little nerd, so there is nothing to talk about when we get to this subject. Just…. I feel left out. I want to stop talking about this for one moment. I just don’t like that this is what our lives have turned to. 

But despite that, I want to see you again. It’s been three months and I left without a goodbye. If I only had one more day, I could’ve seen all of our friends and said goodbye. But of course I had to leave the last day of break, not able to tell you until I was on my way to the airport. 

Thanks for being a great friend. You could always make me laugh when I felt down and oh gods you have such an amazing art style. Keep drawing, friend, and I hope that everything turns out okay for you!!!

Miss you!!

Candy

I will write a letter to someone in my life

you know what, i’m tired.
i’m tired of szpd.
i’m tired of being bored by everything.
i’m tired of not having the strength and willpower to do anything.
yeah, it’s just my fault, i know. but i can’t.
sometimes i really want to change and i try, but it takes nothing to bring me back to where i started.
why am i like this? why do i feel so out of this world? why do i feel unreal? why do i feel fake? why do i feel so empty? why can’t i connect with other people? why don’t i care about them, but want to be with someone?
why am i afraid? what am i afraid of?
will this ever end?
why can’t i do anything? why is everything so grey? why does everything seem so useless?
why do i care about myself? why do i care that i don’t care? why do i hate and enjoy being like this? why do i like my misery? what made me like this?

anonymous asked:

You always said we’d meet again, you always said you’d be here + Akashi !! Thanks!

You always said we’d meet again, you always said you’d be here. (x)


Akashi hated broken promises more than anything. Promises that were crumpled and thrown away like it had never meant anything at all, as if it was okay to crush someone’s hope and faith in you to keep that promise. Promises that broke because of a choice.

“Sorry” doesn’t fix everything. “Sorry” doesn’t change the fact that you left him, “sorry” doesn’t punish the driver who crashed into your car, “sorry” doesn’t bring you back to him.

Sometimes Akashi wakes up in the middle of the night, breathless and sweating and wondering: Where did you go? Where are you now? Please, please come back, you promised you’d come back. Then he remembers and it all crashes back down on him like a flood, and then it’s just I’m sorry, it’s my fault, come back to me.

He always felt that anger was easier to redirect when there was someone to blame. For the longest time he blamed you - that it was your fault for leaving him, that it was what you got for breaking a promise.

You always said you’d be here.

Except Akashi never wanted “here” to be a tombstone in the rain, with only wilted flowers to show that someone cared and a ring next to the stone.

Talking to you made things a bit easier. Even though there was no response, Akashi felt like he understood you better after you disappeared from his life.

People couldn’t always keep their promises. That was what made them so endearing, he supposed. Promises that couldn’t be kept, apologies that couldn’t be said, wishes that couldn’t be granted.

i. 
everything love. i look at you, and the moon walks cold over my spine. i glow / calling waves home, like they never shift in between us. like we never move, and how i wish we did / how our chests are full, and for once the weight isn’t too much to carry / i tell you, sometimes i feel bearable, and you read nothing into it. i start to see our chests fall / my stomach hurts. i don’t know how to stop this / i only feel a push; the drowning has started. i am trying to find homes, please understand me. please / don’t you see, this breaking in me?

ii.
throwing myself into everything that keeps me away from myself, and everything that brings me back [and you] down to the last moment of exhaustion, which leaves no place for aching down the blades of my spine. i am free- momentarily of any kind of breaking that doesn’t turn beautiful as it hits the ground. the splatter of blood may or may not be art in your eyes, but who’s asking / i am a lake. a lake. a lake. your residual salt doesn’t sting or that’s what i tell myself at least. i breathe without hesitation / heart in hibernation.  

iii.
sorrow has a way of settling into your spine, and the thought of a trace stings at you [me] i lift myself up from dirty floors, and wipe the shame off / hiding from you, but you never saw anyway. i cling to the closest tree, as he traces my beauty in the wind. we all just want to be needed he says- he needs me, and i sigh in relief / i tell myself i am a terrible person, as he sees through me, and i let him. breaking is always temporary, and a drug always convenient / as we try to push each other away. a week later, i cry in his arms, and he tells me not to leave. i remember how i wanted that from you, and shrug it away. its okay.

iv. 
a few months in- unexpectedly happy / with safety trapped in his words, that lift my arms to rest. i need not write today, but i want to- to have him read to me every night. my words in his mouth, and how peaceful they sound. i say love, so cautiously but he hears it, and i breathe / still with damaged lungs. i make sheds out of dreams, because houses fall too, and we laugh at the idiocy of our fears; we aren’t away from them yet; far / i ache at the sound of his voice- 

v.
i tell myself this means something, and let myself live. he says its okay to be happy, and i believe him / all while sitting on my knees to pray- no god to believe in, but faith. please don’t take this away from me / as i put to rest, you in my grave, and welcome a whole other destruction- seemingly more deadly than the last / there’s something about loving yourself in this, but i cannot see it, and for that i am sorry- i never have. i let him do it for me, in mirrors at times / eyes.

vi.
trust me, i’m fully aware they shatter, but what choice do i have / when the sky has already fallen a thousand times / at least we’re not lonely; wars are harsh things, love- he tells me. i cannot say more than this. so i say thank you instead. i say, love me / and wait for another hurricane / and hope it never comes. i say, stay with me, and he laughs at how hard i make it [for myself]- there is no shame he says / and i let myself be measured by what he feels, again. i’m sorry.

stages // messes.

The Ottawa Senators are now officially in the 2015 playoffs.

I just want to say how proud I am of my team. They’ve overcome all of my expectations. Like seriously, I didn’t know a few months ago that the Sens would be in the playoffs! Frankly, nobody thought so.

We had many injuries but sometimes, that’s what needs to happen so we see the potential in new young players. Everything happens for a reason because with Anderson and Lehner out, we were all convinced that it was over.

But out of nowhere, a goalie who had horrible stats in the AHL stepped on the ice. “This is it! It’s over, we are screwed. We’ll never win against Montreal with a goalie like that.” I said. But that goalie turned out to be our saviour.

Thank you so much Andrew Hammond for pulling us back up and bringing us all the way into the playoffs. I’m so sorry that I didn’t believe in you at first. Thank you so much for everything you did for us, I’ll never forget it. You are my hero. Good luck in the future Hammy.