sometimes i like the pictures i take of myself

anonymous asked:

Why do you think you're depressed?

I used to see the world covered in sunshine, I used to take the light of the world and get it to shine inside of me. People actually told me that I was a ray of sunshine. Now they ask me why it’s raining (it’s clearly not just rain, but storm in my head. It feels like a hurricane with a lot of eyes- my brain blanks sometimes.)

When I was younger I loved cooking and reading and making little DIY projects and writing and drawing and rollerblading and waveboarding and going for walks and taking pictures and a whole lot of things. Right now I know that I like to do all these things but actually doing them just isn’t possible. I just cannot get myself to do anything. Nothing seems fun anymore- it’s all exhausting.

You know when I love the world the most? At 5-6am, when everybody is still sleeping but the world itself has woken up already. I used to get up and watch the sun paint the sky beautiful while the birds came by for breakfast and squirrels chased each other on the trees. Now the only sky I get to see is when I force myself to go walk the dog and that’s mostly too late for the colours and to early for the stars.

I was so proud of myself for getting better, for doing the stuff I love again. But now, I feel myself slipping back into some weird mix of tired, sad and heavy. When I want to be proud of myself, I need to find smaller and smaller victories. Got out of bed? That’s a great accomplishment, enough for today. Went to school without crying? WOah that’s so strong!!! Drank water? Best thing I did this week!!! Mostly, I just don’t get proud of myself anymore. Why would I?

Have you ever searched for reasons to stay? Because I find myself doing that a lot in these last months. I have a dog that needs walks and hugs and food. My sister needs help with her school assignments. My grandparents need the hugs and the talks and the cozy. The sky will stil be beautiful when I can see colour again, the waves won’t stop coming back for me. It’s hard to not stay for yourself, but it’s harder to leave when there are reasons left to live for.

I know the symptoms, I show the symptoms and logically I know I should see a doctor. I can write this whole thing about how I’m depressed but still tell myself it’s not that bad and I’m just looking for attention. I know that’s not true, but I can’t seem to convince myself. I don’t have the energy, nor the motivation to try harder.

2

Some unedited (!!!!!) makeup appreciation pictures. I felt really adorable.
I’m honestly in love with these pictures? Which is weird? Ya know I know I post a lot of selfies and body posi stuff, but sometimes it’s just a sort of tolerance for my body and face and the pictures I take.
I can look at these selfies and think, “Wow. I’m beautiful.” And my god I’ve never felt like this in my life??
I still criticize myself in the mirror some days, but this is really surreal that I can see beauty in myself in an unedited selfie.
Meeeep

Nozomi Fuuto Personal Book Excerpt Part Three: Where We Discover Daimon’s Affection for Planking, LINE Stamps, Disney, and being just a completely loveable fluff.

(PERSONAL TASTES CONTINUED*…) *From the last post.

Cell Phone Wallpaper: I change it a lot, but right now it’s Winnie The Pooh. I change it sometimes according to the season or the role I’m playing.

Frequently Used LINE Stamps: I often use the LINE stamp for “planking” (Where a person is depicted lying down flat on a pedestal). It’s become popular for people to pose like this and take photos, so it seems to have become a LINE stamp now. I even tried planking myself, in the rehearsal room, and took a picture. (Laughs.) I also like the moving “Stitch” stamp (From Lilo and Stitch).

Entertainment Accomplishments: I don’t have anything in particular really, but I want to participate in entertainment so since I’ve decided to do that I do my best. I follow the example of performance staff and teachers a lot.

Year Ahead Tarot Challenge

Day 8: “ Winter is sometimes harsh, and unforgiving. What can I do to help strengthen myself against the cold and dark times I will encounter this year? “

January 8th, Daily Divination

Balance, balance, balance…

((I’m a day late on posting this because I got caught up in a binge watching session of The Magicians, but I did take this picture yesterday. I highly recommend the show!))

I have been getting some really strong readings lately. I hate that feeling when you keep seeing the same cards and the same message… it’s like a warning sign but it’s in a language you don’t understand. You can decipher bits and pieces but your own ego and self awareness holds you back from truly making sense of the sign’s real meaning. I feel the meaning, I feel the massage deep inside me but I can’t bring it to light…like a word that’s on the tip of your tongue but just won’t roll off. It makes you question everything and all you can do is wait till you have more information. 

)o(Keta)o(

Deck: The After Tarot
~My tarot shop~ Use code TUMBLR16 by the 20th to get 16% off your reading!

Portal - The Cake

I figured I’d finish off this month of requests with something that almost seems like a rite of passage among video game food people such as myself. The famously dubious cake from Portal.

All memes aside this is actually a really delicious cake. It takes a lot of chocolate, but is perfect for special occasions or birthdays, which is one of the reasons I made it. (My friend even brought over his Wheatly plush to be in the picture!) I hope you have a chance to try out the recipe sometime because this really was a triumph.

Keep reading

ok but imagine sugamon as dads with their daughter who is literally min yoongi in toddler form because she’s just as grumpy and moody as him but namjoon doesn’t mind one bit because he is exasperatedly fond and very much in love with the two of them and sometimes namjoon would take out his phone and be like “please look at this cute pic of my baby” and it’d just be a very blurred picture of what seems to be a little girl trying to swipe his phone away and while people go all ??? about this namjoon would just smile really big and wide and say “she reminds me of my husband so much”

Understanding Myself

These past few months have been riveting, heartbreaking, uplifting and mostly emotional. Ive poured my heart and soul into understanding and loving this body I’m in.  I’ve felt change in myself, I’ve come to terms with the people around me, that nobody really stays, that you can’t make anyone stay, and sometimes it’s better if they leave. The only thing I can’t seem to understand, the biggest  obstacle is myself. I can’t seem to stop taking pictures of myself, not because of vanity, but some sort of reassurance that I’m attractive. As long as I take one picture of myself that I like, then it all goes away, but not for long.

I’m trying to see myself in new light. I’m trying to see myself as beautiful. I’m trying to not let social media control how I feel and how I react to things and people but most importantly myself. It’s so hard, but I’m trying. So when I’m crying on the floor because I can’t tell what’s wrong with me, it’s because I sometimes (most of the times) break. My mother always said I was her little prince, I wish I could see myself as that too.


Photo and Writing by Julio Balda (@gothjulio)

anonymous asked:

What's a turn off from your followers?

•When they demand pictures
•ask for pictures straight away
•think they know me better than I know myself
•get upset when I send a few pictures on Snapchat but don’t send more.. like hello I’m busy I was just taking a few pictures so my Story wasn’t so dry.
•get upset when I don’t reply to their message. Do you not understand that I don’t want to talk to you guys sometimes
•message me on Snapchat then message me on tumblr cause I ignored their snap
•ask for stuff when they know I’m on a break from tumblr and snapchat even after I posted a picture on my story saying I’m not taking pictures for a few days
•ask me to rate their dicks bruh it’s a fucking dick and I don’t have an opinion on it

Just a few things that I consider a turn off

I rarely take pictures of myself unless Big Cat is involved. I have less than ten pictures of myself on my phone. I don’t know why. I just don’t like the way I look in photos anymore. I’m starting to look or at least older, and sometimes my hair looks terrible and gross . So.. good thoughts before bed time, my favorite part of every day. :)

HELLO AND YES I AM MAKING AN ONLINE MAGAZINE AND IF YOU             WANNA BE A PART OF IT READ ON!

First let me tell you something about this magazine. I think you already know what it is about form the title but if you don’t it’s about art hehe. I want this to become a platform for artists to showcase their art. As a photographer myself i know that sometimes is hard to get your work ‘‘out there’’ so i want to give everyone a chance. If u wanna help me in that mission please apply… 

APPLY FOR:

Blogger: Person who will update arte magazine tumblr blog.                                        (we are accepting 2 people for this spot right now)

Writer: Person who will need to write an article or more per month and                     sometimes interview featured artist 
            (5 people will be accepted for this spot)

Photographer: Person who would like to take pictures for the magazine
                          (1 person will be accepted for now)

HOW TO APPLY:

If u want to apply for one of the spots from above please follow these steps:

Step 1: 

  • Send an email with subject of what u want to do (Blogger Application etc.)

Step 2:

  • If u are applying for writer attach an article u wrote that has to do something related to art,design,movies,music but dont let that article be too small if it’s good that article will be featured in first issue 
  • if u are applying for blogger u just need to send us an url of your blog.And tell us if you are ready to run another blog beside your own
  • If u are applying for photographer send us some of your best photos or your portfolio if u have one.

Step 3:

  • Let us get to know you. Write a little autobiography and tell us why you want to work on this project :D also include links of your instagram if you have one

Step 4:

  • Send an email on this address artplxnt@gmail.com and your application will be reviewed and within a week you will get a response if u got the ‘job’. I will also make an announcement on my blog.

Step 5:

  • Reblog this post so your followers know for this too.

GOOD LUCK TO EVERYONE AND I AM WAITING FOR THE EMAILS NOW GOGOGO AND WRITE ONE!!!

Makoto: … I’m glad Mom saves all the pictures she takes. I think I like this one more than the “nice” one all of us took together. … It’s… hard to believe this time a year ago I was only just getting to know Haru. I would sometimes have lunch with Rei or Sousuke, but we would never get together outside of work. I didn’t… I couldn’t have much of a social life. Maybe that’s why it was so easy to be as busy as I was. … Maybe that’s why I kept myself busy. But, now I’m out of school… I go back to the convenience store in a week, and I’m still working at the warehouse until Mikoshiba-san can find someone to cover Sousuke and hire someone to replace me. But, I’m looking for work in my field, as a teacher. I’m… I’m moving in with Haru, with my… boyfriend. We already have a cat. None of my plants are poisonous to her, either. It won’t be perfect, and I’m sure I’ll still stress myself out, but… For the first time since I moved to Tokyo, I’m optimistic.

2

Hi, everybody…
My name is Florencia and I’m from Argentina. You can call me Flo(?
I’ve never posted a picture of my own weight-loss journey before… but lately I’ve been feeling low. My self-steem decreases dangerously every day till the point I end up hating myself and everything I see in the mirror.
I supose I still feel like that chubby, weak and unwanted girl that I used to be. You may think I’m lying or being dramatic out of nothing but I don’t. I easily forget all the progress I’ve made this two years (I’ve lost aprox 20 kg/42 lbs). It’s sad, isn’t it?
I guess sometimes you just have to take a deep breath and look back. That’s the only way in which you can keep yourself focused. I’m absolutely proud of myself now that I can see the change in the pictures, and I feel incredibly pretty and confident. Am I happy? Hmmm… I’m still working on that. But we all are, aren’t we?
The important thing here is to NEVER GIVE UP! I’m not exactly were I want to be but that doesn’t mean I’m not closer to reach my ultimate goal. NEVER FORGET THAT IT’S ALL ABOUT BEING THE BEST AND HEALTHIEST VERSION OF YOURSELF! Hating who you are won’t help. I will try to love myself harder and work on my negative thoughts.
Watching the weight-loss community pics inspires and helps me a lot. And I hope I will inspire you at least a little bit too…

Thanks for reading x
DON’T LOSE FAITH AND KEEP ON MOVING!

Carrie Hope Fletcher & Stage Door

I am a big fan of the Fletcher’s, each and everyone of them are incredibly kind. When I met Tom and Gi at Disneyland, I politely introduced myself because I hate feeling like I’m imposing on people and took a quick picture then thanked them for taking the time. I’m fan of many people and have always been politely (I’m also nervous and sometimes to shaken to talk any other way) took a moment of their time. When I met Avenged Sevenfold at an organized meet and greet I was nothing but gracious because the whole band showed up rather than just the bass and guitar player ( they did not have to make an appearance, but they all did for everyone).
On that note I want to talk to Hopefuls about their behavior when it comes to Carrie. I understand completely what it’s like to be such a big fan of someone and you dream of meeting them. You imagine the act of fate that leads to meeting them and what you’ll say. What I don’t like is the guilt people try to make her feel when she is unable to meet some Hopeful’s needs. Carrie did not have to make an announcement that she could not organize a meet and greet when going on holiday in Copenhagen. On Halloween, a man telling Carrie how upset a fan was because Carrie was not coming to stage door because of prior commitments.
I live in California not in the UK, and don’t want to sound like I’m scolding everyone, just be understanding. Ms. Fletcher works 8 days a week and has three demanding jobs. She also needs to take an opportunity in her personal life to see the important people in her life. Or if she is ill or has a long train journey home just understand it’s not because she does not care. She cares, but she’s human and it’s not humanly possible to fulfill every demand.
To every person you are a fan of be kind and remember were all human xxx

anonymous asked:

so get this, my friend says that she thinks misha collins is ugly and that he only looks good on pics that are srsly photoshopped, and my heart is breaking do you feel my pain?!

OH GOD! I do feel your pain, lol! Then again, we can’t all be attracted to the same people… Imagine like millions of people all going after one single human being, that would be a very big problem. :p

But anyway, jokes aside; especially when it comes to pictures (talking about the ones without photo shop), we all have flattering and not-so flattering angles and facial expressions. Like, sometimes I see a picture of myself and I’m like ‘hey, not bad’, while other times I see a pic of me and I’ll be like ‘holy crap, I will put a paper bag over my head and hide in a cave forever’. 

Talking about Misha though, if you’re gonna look at gifs (purposely taking gifs as an example because outside of the lighting/color they rarely have specific features photo shopped or adjusted, unlike most pictures)

(Taking three different settings at random; An actual photoshoot where he’s supposed to look ‘pretty’, a random gif of him laughing at a con, a gif of him while he’s acting on a show.)

I think the guy is very attractive, obviously, but again, it will always be a matter of taste. On the other hand, even if he’s not your type, I’d have a hard time calling him ‘ugly’ by ‘regular’ beauty standards.