sometimes i just stop and think about how much i love you and it's too much to handle

the signs as people i’ve known

aries: passionate verging on obsessive.  defensive of both themselves and the people they love.  few layers; what you see is more or less what you get.  good-hearted, intelligent.  always up for a challenge, but becomes stressed out very easily and handles stress very poorly.  even when they’re tired, they somehow seem so alert and two steps ahead of you.  responsible.  they prefer to lead and lead very well.  interesting, competitive, loyal.  although they like to be correct and love to prove people wrong, more than anything they just want someone to listen and expand on their point, not disagree with it. romantic but they like to pretend that they aren’t.  they seek instant gratification and hate doing things that they’re not naturally great at (but they’re naturally great at a lot).  can be very self-absorbed, but it’s not conscious.  so loving and so lovely.  the yang to my yin, the storm to my calm.  a friend who completes me.

taurus: extremely nice, and they never want to hurt anybody’s feelings, so they tend to skirt around the truth or omit their opinion.  truly, genuinely kind, the sort of person you hope will always stay in your life, the sort of person you feel like you really need.  dependable, hardworking, stable.  they have been through a lot, but looking at them, you wouldn’t know it.  will ultimately put themselves before you (which is a good thing), but is always there for you when they can be. very realistic; they know what they can achieve and expect themselves to do so.  private to a fault, and doesn’t usually express their feelings. there is something about their soul that makes me smile whenever i think of them. one of the people i love most in this world.  my equal, the friend who i hope knows how much i love them.

gemini: endlessly charming, supportive, and brave.  always wants to make everyone happy, often at the expense of their own desires, so they’ll do things they don’t want to do but be kind of grouchy about it, leading others to believe that they are picky and that they change their mind too much.  frequently changes the details of a story to either make it more interesting or get out of trouble.  wants more than anything to see and experience the good in the world but is very often a victim of the bad.  overly-trusting.  they can make any experience memorable, and they are the most fun you’ll ever have. quite self-critical but they also know that they have a certain power over people. forgetful, tolerant, warm.  often feels quite overwhelmed and may not handle this feeling wisely.  crazy but kind.  the one whom words fail to describe.  the biggest piece of my heart, my mother.

cancer: both friendly and intimidating.  difficult to read.  patient and cooperative but more often than not, they think their idea/opinion is better than yours.  very, very smart.  super dependable, so sensitive, hold grudges like it’s their life’s calling. courageous.  behave very differently around authority figures, likes being seen as innocent and cute. they will keep your secrets but they will kind of hold them over you, and they tend to taunt others by saying, “i know [x] about [y] and you don’t.”  very funny, dark, and sarcastic once you get to know them, but initially sweet and sugary.  survivalists; they protect themselves first and their loved ones second and don’t really care about everyone else. friendly. once they’re in a relationship, they become rather absorbed by it and neglect the other parts of their life.  dramatic, obsessive. rather strong-willed.  when they’re having an off day, get out of their way.  they will never forget anything you tell them.  they see life as an inside joke.  my figurative fraternal twin.  the friend who is just like me but whom i’ll never understand.

leo: impressively loving, astonishingly generous, the whole universe in one person.  soft and loud, wild and cautious.  they are full of power, grace, and energy, and they awaken within you the sense that you are good and that you can do whatever you want to do. even when they’re quiet, their presence is felt. very self-critical, constantly questioning their worth. always in need of validation, which is why they like to be the center of attention; in order to know that they’re a star, they require a standing ovation. they want to love themselves, they need to love themselves. such a romantic, wants to be wooed and adored, and they’ll gladly return the favor.  soothing.  they are so easy to trust, but they are more careful with their own secrets than they seem. they love with every bone in their body.  they want, more than anything, a best friend. loyal, inventive, go-getters. great listeners.  can somehow empathize with every situation, but are mildly obsessed with themselves. love winning. my idol, the part of myself i hope i grow into, my aunt.

virgo: hilarious, dependable, treats you like their kid.  trustworthy, sympathetic. they are fascinating and unique, but they are too attached to their own magic. more obsessive than they like to think they are.  they take criticism very well, perhaps because they dish it out even better. level-headed but aspirational. they prefer to be the less loving one in all of their relationships.  feels guilty for feeling sad or emotional. curious and interested.  can talk for hours if you let them.  kind and smart, wants to be special and different from everyone else. treats the people closest to them the worst. believes in tough love.  loves to joke and be sarcastic but usually takes it a few steps too far.  perfectionistic, which leads them to put little effort into things that they feel they can’t do flawlessly.  the one i protect who thinks they’re protecting me.  the friend whom i loved right away.

libra: angelic, enchanting, sweet.  picky. they are so afraid of offending someone that they have to know someone really likes them before they’ll be honest with them.  so many layers.  funny and diligent. treats everyone like their best friend, but when you are their best friend, there is just something so slightly different about how they treat you, something that makes you feel amazing. good at everything.  completely unable to make decisions. gossipers. they want to like everyone, but they just don’t.  absolutely hates saying no, but will do it if it’s 100% necessary.  sleepy and goofy around people they love. works hard to look good, trendy.  smart, fair.  nervous around authority figures. fearful of loss and of growing up.  secret control freaks.  they are at once youthful and wise.  crazy patient on the outside, just crazy on the inside. always somewhere on my mind, the one who i was always meant to know. my very best friend, my soul’s sister.

scorpio: the best listener. truly wants to know everything about you. extremely devoted, passionate.  knows you very, very well.  so funny, so kind.  will stick with you through thick and thin, always on your side.  gives great advice. the person across the room who you can’t stop staring at.  secretive, fearful, romantic.  both observant and judgmental. will hate you for judging them while they judge you.  their heart is bigger than anyone else’s, and all they really want is to fill it to its brim with love. very often the sidekick, but they stand out to me. they are quite obsessive and they rarely wait for explanations. they want to own the people they love.  intuitive.  loves you soooo much.  impossible to know fully. deep, powerful. the ocean flows inside them, yet all too often that ocean is stormy.  the person many people think i am, the person i sometimes i wish i was.  my confidante, my partner in crime, my heart, my friend.

sagittarius: the most supportive and dependable person on the planet.  an amazing friend, the best person to have in your corner.  honest and disorganized, friendly and capable.  very quick to anger and has a hard time admitting they’re wrong.  devotes themselves wholly and completely to their partner and puts them on a pedestal, but once they’ve moved on, they’ve really moved on.  tends to succeed, lucky.  has a hard time seeing the truth of a situation and often must be told what’s really going on.  charismatic and caring, overly generous.  can spread themselves thin.  guided chiefly by morals which they never abandon.  has a strong sense of right and wrong (specifically, they’re right, you’re wrong).  my backbone, my other mother.

capricorn: pensive and stoic.  has a brain that never stops going.  they wake up every morning in the climax of a novel they’ve written in their sleep.  loyal, just, intimidating.  cold and private.  mean to people who are mean to them.  shuts down entirely for seemingly no reason.  the wisest of all.  mature.  silently romantic. victim of their thoughts.  intense, original.  they want someone to fall really deeply in love with them, but they close themselves off to everyone. admires the beauty of the world, moved by small details that many people miss. always thinking of the future, no matter how good the present is.  judgmental. wants to be better than everyone else. exceptionally smart. often falling apart on the inside.  can think themselves into sickness, into joy, into anything. loves to be alone, hates more than anything to be lonely.  soft on the inside. the best leaders but they don’t like to lead.  kind-hearted and always doubting it. immensely fatalistic.  the dreamy head behind my eyes.  myself.

aquarius: very patient.  analytical, detached.  they have favorite people and things and they will be honest about who and what these favorites are.  they love you, they just can’t tell you.  wants to be cared for without caring in return. easy to talk to, somehow always makes you feel safe.  impressive intellect. generous with the people they love.  genuinely good, inspiring.  easily overwhelmed.  resorts to humor when offended.  doesn’t try very hard to act like they like someone they hate.  wants to be special.  artificially nice to authority figures.  can be surprisingly mean without intending to.  very good liars.  super funny.  compliments mean a lot coming from them.  the person i forget i am, the friend i should talk to more.

pisces: kind-hearted, funny.  to really know them, you kind of have to know them forever.  so easy to love.  hates to think about the difficulties of the world and prefers to just have fun.  very much in the present and tries not to think about the future.  as such, they sometimes behave without thinking and wind up messing things up for themselves.  they tend to be kind of lazy in regards to some things and extremely passionate in regards to others; there isn’t a lot of balance.  can be very mean and very angry.  won’t apologize first when you’ve made them mad. must express themselves in some way.  no matter how much they say that they love you, they always love you more than that.  quite sensitive, hates few things more than being called annoying. super generous, always wants to be there for you but hates not being able to make you happier. truly the sweetest. my favorite person, my brother.

anonymous asked:

so, um. if you have any particular feelings about labyrinth--specifically Sarah--uh, go wild.

WILD PEACHES  [AO3]

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The morning after Sarah Williams defeats the Goblin King, she gets up and makes toast. She has to brush some glitter off the toaster—it withers and vanishes at the brush of her fingertips, and she stares at her hand for a long time. 

It mostly just looks like her hand. Even when she turns it over, and sees where she scraped her knuckles against the oubliette, where the shattered mirror cut the back of her wrist. It looks like she fell, or was playing in the street. That’s all.

The toast comes out burned, and Sarah stares at that too. Eventually, she slumps down against the cabinets and cries, wracking sobs that send her dad and Karen rushing into kitchen. They check her forehead for a fever, put their hands on her, and keep asking, “Are you okay? Sarah, please, tell us what’s wrong…”

Eventually, her dad drags her into his lap and cradles her against his chest, like he did when she was little. Her legs are too long to really fit anymore, but Sarah hugs him around the neck anyway. “It’ll be okay,” he says, keeps saying. “You’ll be okay.” And Sarah—doesn’t laugh, because she can’t, and doesn’t have the words to express what—how—

(None of her stories ever talked about this. What did Sir George do, the morning after he slayed the last dragon in England? Did Tam Lin eat breakfast, or did he sit there, shivering, wondering if his hands were different, having been claws and wings and scales?)

Afterwards, she leaves the burnt toast outside on the back porch. Not an offering. Maybe a reminder.

.

It’s Didymus she sees the most often, mostly because he’s the one who invites himself rather than waiting for an invitation. He comes for tea, but even if there’s no tea—which there isn’t, usually—he comes to tell Sarah stories. She learns to love poetry because there’s no escaping it with him. (She won’t read Idylls of the King until Brit Lit in college, but she ends up scrawling a lot in the margins; Didymus’ telling of events had been much more interesting.)

Once, she falls asleep like that, her hands tucked behind her head with Didymus curled up and sleepily reciting from the crook of her elbow. “So tender was her voice, so fair her face—though I don’t think he was looking at her face, my lady, pardon me for saying so—”

Sarah buries her nose in his fur. Didymus always smells of rosewater, and a crispness she thinks is just…the Labyrinth. She falls asleep trying to place it.

She wakes up with a wild fox in her bed, animal-black eyes frightened and flat, teeth bared. The fox is whining, and she’s tempted to throw herself across the room, to get away from this wild thing and its teeth. It takes a monumental will to keep herself still and her breathing slow, even; like she’s still asleep and unafraid. 

It takes her longer to swallow, and start humming one of the songs he taught her—a knight’s round, he’d said. She’s shaky at first, but the fox’s ears flick forward. It cocks its head, and slowly, the teeth disappear behind its lips. 

She almost laughs when noses at her throat curiously, butting its head against her jaw like a cat might.

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Bf! Johnny

  • What a fucking idiot but such a sweetheart it hurts
  • You were a barista at this local coffee shop, minding your own business and doing your job when he came up the counter. You smiled at him and he just looked at you startled
  • “What would you like?” you asked. He looked around, flustered and nervous and his voice breaking
  • Johnny had such a striking appearance, tall height, cheery smile and amazing hair. You decided to put some extra effort into making his coffee. Given your year worth of experience, you were nervous for this one
  • Because the customer was so damn attractive
  • You handed him the plastic cup,on which you had put a little smiley face for god knows why
  • He handed you the money along with a little slip of paper
  • It had his number and name and “call me?” in a really smudgy handwriting 
  • You smiled to yourself, forgetting that he was still standing there. He looked away, feeling self assured and confidence
  • But then it hit him, were you smiling cuz you were excited or cuz you were mocking him
  • The thought invaded his mind the whole day and night
  • Until you finally called him
  • You hastily entered your apartment and pulled out the crumpled piece of paper from the pocket of your coat and immediately dialled his number
  • And Johnny took his while picking it up, not recognising the number but secretly hoping it was you
  • He ran out of the practice room and said “hello” in an electrified tone
  • You both decided to meet up on a Saturday morning in a different coffee shop
  • He kept on laughing and making awful but laughable jokes. He was really such a giant dork you were falling in love
  • He shyly held your hand as he walked you to the bus stop and you reached up to kiss his cheek and he slightly blushed
  • WHAT A CUTIE
  • He was so happy that you didn’t turn him down cuz of his ridiculous humour
  • He called you that night as well
  • And in the morning
  • And now he always calls you before sleeping and you always wake up to his cute ass morning texts that make your day better
  • Stares at his phone a lot, expecting a call or text from you.  And is always checking his phone in case you called and reads your previous messages, smiling and then sighing
  • He found himself already so attached to you
  • Does all kind of gentlemanly stuff like holding doors and pulling back chairs and reaching to clean your face if there’s something on there
  • And he holds you close and holds your hand really gently. And when its too cold, he puts your hand in his pocket and messages it with his thumb
  • Loves hugging you. It was awkward at first but still so warm and soft. He’s big and comfortable and he totally encloses you in his jacket and places a soft kiss on your forehead
  • plays with your hair a lot and ends up having it caught in something and that just results in some strands just break off your head
  • “JOHNNY SRSLY”
  • Wants everything to be perfect but sometimes things just HAVE to go wrong cuz its Johnny
  • Back hugs and he always smells so nice
  • Stealing his clothes and hoping he wouldn’t notice and he pretends not to and loves it so much
  • Is so in love with you that he has a hard time concealing it
  • Has the weird ass names for you
  • like “pumkin bunny” “baby pig” “silly monkey”
  • and there are names like 
  • “ugly sock” “molten cucumber” 
  • Laughs at you when you do something wrong and then you stare at him and he stop laughing and goes red cuz he’s holding his laugh so much
  • Making fun of your height 25/8
  • Like he’s just such a shit especially when you want to reach something and he picks you up like its nothing (lowkey showing off his strength) and you get so scared and he laughs his ass off then
  • Messy cooking/baking sessions which ends really badly
  • But the end result is always good and you both share the food so its all cool
  • Nags you to wash your hands so much
  • Hangout sessions with Ten
  • You three go out for food so much and honestly Ten is such a third wheel but sometimes you feel like the third wheel
  • And Johnny notices and holds you close the whole time and if there’s a joke you don’t get he makes sure you do
  • Ten and Johnny always have so many things to tell you, especially about their trainee days and dorm life and its always so much fun
  • Ten’s ur bro and your best friend and you love hanging out with him
  • Johnny’s named you both “THE FAM”
  • which is so cute
  • You always steal his hair products cuz his hair is always on point
  • and he also smells really good
  • shows off his talent at mimicking parrots and you’re just like wtf Johnny and he’s just like “dont act like u dont like it”
  • cool coffee shop dates
  • you both listen to music together and just chill
  • whether it be a lazy saturday afternoon or a crazy friday night
  • Johnny want to spend all his time with you
  • He has amazing music taste and always plays his music and loves to hear your music too
  • He’s genuinely interested in your likes and tastes
  • Like he’ll always be so enthusiastic to watch a movie u like or listen to your playlist or eat at a restaurant you like
  • And if he doesnt like it he’ll pretend to like it
  • plays the piano for you often and makes you sit with him so you learn too
  • you end up sitting on his lap while he plays
  • but he gets so shy and just starts giggling like a little girl
  • gets cute stuff for you like stuff toys and make up without you asking and you scold him how he shouldn’t spend money on him
  • and he gets annoyed like “I bought it for you! you should be grateful”
  • sulks the whole day
  • You rarely fight but when you do he always apologises and cracks one of his weird jokes
  • which makes you smile and eventually forgive him
  • late night conversations about life
  • star gazing and listening to his playlists
  • midnight snacks and cuddles
  • going to concerts together and dancing a lot
  • him staring at you a lot cuz you’re his little pumpkin
  • is the jealous type but handles it with wit and sass
  • like if a guy gets too close to you he just goes up and tells him off
  • but if you’re too close with someone, he starts sulking and gets all moody
  • and it takes a lot of kissing and hugging to get him out of his mood
  • In bed he’s really passionate and constantly asks you if you’re ok
  • “johnny you’re ruining it”
  • “oh sorry are u ok”
  • “JOHNNY!”
  • it doesnt matter to him who’s on the top or who’s in control, as long as he gets what he wants
  • DADDY KINK
  • LOVES IT
  • late night existential crisis
  • “y/n if we’re 70% water does that mean that water is 30% human?”
  • “Johnny its fucking 3 am”
  • “y/n do u think penguins have feelings”
  • “y/n-”
  • “JOHNNY IF U DONT SHUT UP I WILL KICK U OUT OF THE ROOM
  • Loads of cuddling and he’s ALWAYS the big spoon
  • his sexy english accent melts you away
  • like he knows you love and deliberately talks in english to have u like that and then smirks at you
  • “I’m so lucky to have you”
  • “you’re so beautiful”
  • watches you get ready 
  • loves you endlessly
  • and you love him endlessly
  • this giant is yours, what else do you want?
Improvise

Scenario: This guy sitting behind me on the bus was harassing me and when you got on you came up, took the seat next to me and said “Hey sweetie, Mom wants to know when and where you want to meet them for dinner. I was thinking the diner down the road from us”
Pairing: Jimin | Reader
Genre: Fluff
Word Count: 1,848
Author’s Note: I remember an anon asking me about Jimin stories, so I figured it was about time I got around to that. This may or may not be based on personal experience when I went to university in the city.

.

Public transportation, as it turns out, is the bane of your existence. You’d think that for someone who has undergone 2 years of the same routine, of keeping to yourself with your ear buds and notebooks and eyes glued to your phone screen for a majority of the ride into downtown, you would have gained a better hand in not attracting too much attention to yourself.

However, the hard jab into the back of your shoulder blades makes you almost think how much safer you’d feel if you had just decided to drive to school—sure, it may cost more and traffic sucks sometimes and driving in it of itself is so exhausting sometimes, but you wouldn’t have to—!

The voice starts as a murmur, drowned out by the steady beat of music ringing in your ears, and you think you might be able to ignore the man entirely before the jab comes back and actually hurts to the nature in which it’s right against a nerve. You flinch slightly upon contact, jerking away from the touch as you become reminded of your slight repulsion of physical touch—especially from people you don’t know very well.

Craning to look over your shoulder, you find yourself coming face-to-face with a man much older than you, his beady eyes giving off intentions for prying on individuals much younger than himself—who eyes you with so much possession that it makes your stomach churn. His gaze holds an expectancy that you wish to ignore, but are unable to do so now that you’ve given him some of your attention.

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“Let Me Show You” (Jackson Smut)

Originally posted by hangulfan

Title: Let Me Show You

Featuring: Jackson (GOT7) x Reader

POV: 2nd

Rating: Mature (oral)

Summary: Jackson’s having trouble calming down after another man puts his hands on you.

Requested by anon!


Jackson was still heated when the two of you came home, puffing hard and slamming the door behind you. Everyone knew him for the amount of kindness, love, and care he emitted, but often forgot that his intensity ran both ways. When he had a reason to be angry, he was angry.

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She’s Fighting

Pairing: Sam x Reader

Summary: You and Sam meet up after a little over a year apart. Something about him is different, but you can’t seem to place it. All you can think about is how much he’s grown, how much fun the two of you had as kids together, and how curious you are about what he actually does for a living - oh, and how badly you want to jump his bones.

Word Count: ~3,900

Warnings: canon divergence, Sam using his powers, Crowley being a dick, demon blood stuff (mildly graphic), cursing, angst, smut (oral - female receiving, fingering, unprotected sex)

A/N: This is written for @deansdirtylittlesecretsblog Trop Challenge. My trope was “friends when kids, now there’s an attraction.” I started writing this a few weeks ago and then my computer crashed and I lost it because I’m an idiot and didn’t save it anywhere. This is not at all what the first version was like, but hey, it’s something.

*Flashbacks are in italics

Originally posted by spn-mostly


“Sam Winchester?” You stepped up to the bar and sank down on the stool beside the large man.

He spun on his barstool, sipping from his beer as his eyebrows raised in surprise.

“[Y/N]?” He set his bottle down and opened his arms.

Willingly, you sprung forward and flung yourself into his arms, wrapping yours around his middle and nuzzling your face into his chest.

“Sammy…” You sighed, eyes falling closed as you took in the feeling of your best friends arms wrapped around you.

“Been too long, sweetheart.” He breathed against your hair.

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Tyler Seguin - Angst

Originally posted by wagnerhockey

Request: “  hiii (: could you write an tyler seguin one where you two obviously like each other but since tyler can be a jerk he avoids it and acts as if he doesn’t want a relationship but then gets jealous when another guy hits on you or something?? “

Hi yes I just had to do this one ASAP, I absolutely adore this request okay? okay.

Warning: (very)  Foul Language

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where the sun and stars meet

masterlist

Pairing: Rafael Casal x Reader (oh my word, she’s done it, she’s written a non-Lin fic, holy moly, we never thought this day would come)

Summary: He knew you well enough to know when you were forgetting to breathe.

Note: i fell straight into rafa hell and apparently this is how i decided to handle it lmao. @fragmentofmymind and @alexanderhamllton had to deal with my yelling about this so go give them extra love THEY DESERVE ALL OF IT I LOVE THEM A LOT. 

okay omg i love you guys and i hope you enjoy the garbage, feel free to come yell at me about it <3

Word Count: approx. 4500? (guys it’s a ONE-SHOT ARE YOU PROUD)


Being a twenty-eight year old woman living in Los Angeles could be tough.

In six years of residence in the city of stars, you had realized that sometimes the lights weren’t so much sparkling as they were blinding. Blinding of the goals you’d set out to achieve, the paths to get there, the hope and promise of a state drowning in sunshine and smog. Although you had never expected it to be, the journey wasn’t easy.

Sure, you’d had plenty of dancing gigs during your time there so far, but your heart was in choreography and you were determined to keep working until you made that goal happen. You knew that you were talented, that when you were in your flow you could tell stories and string together phrases and characters with even the most subtle pieces of movement. Every once in awhile, though, you lost your flow.

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[ @studymei‘s Inspirational quotes for bullet journals and whatever else your heart desires! ]

I have had a rather long collection of motivational and inspirational quotes on my computer for a while which I use for my white boards, exercise books and bullet journals. I thought it time I share them, because I know how difficult it can be to find any that strike a chord. 

I hope you find these useful! 

  • “The roots of education are bitter, but the fruit is sweet.” ―Aristotle
  • “We are what we pretend to be, so we must be careful about what we pretend to be.” ― Kurt Vonnegut, Mother Night
  • “Sometimes you wake up. Sometimes the fall kills you. And sometimes, when you fall, you fly.” ― Neil Gaiman, The Sandman, Vol. 6: Fables and Reflections
  • “We delight in the beauty of the butterfly, but rarely admit the changes it has gone through to achieve that beauty.” ― Maya Angelou
  • “Pain is temporary. Quitting lasts forever.” ― Lance Armstrong, Every Second Counts
  • “I dream my painting and I paint my dream.” ― Vincent van Gogh
  • “Do you want to know who you are? Don’t ask. Act! Action will delineate and define you.” ― Thomas Jefferson
  • “You have power over your mind - not outside events. Realize this, and you will find strength.”― Marcus Aurelius, Meditations
  • “You can’t wait for inspiration. You have to go after it with a club.” ― Jack London
  • “It’s hard to beat a person who never gives up.” ― Babe Ruth
  • “There is no dishonor in losing the race. There is only dishonor in not racing because you are afraid to lose.” ― Garth Stein, The Art of Racing in the Rain
  • “A single day is enough to make us a little larger or, another time, a little smaller.” ― Paul Klee
  • “The problem with people is they forget that most of the time it’s the small things that count.” ― Jennifer Niven, All the Bright Places
  • “Life gives us choices. You either grab on with both hands and just go for it, or you sit on the sidelines.” ― Christine Feehan, Night Game
  • “Your life is an occasion. Rise to it.” ― Suzanne Weyn, Mr. Magorium’s Wonder Emporium
  • “Dreams are only dreams until you wake up and make them real.” ― Ned Vizzini, It’s Kind of a Funny Story
  • “Take it easy, but take it.” ― Woody Guthrie
  • “A bruise is a lesson… and each lesson makes us better.” ― George R.R. Martin, A Game of Thrones
  • “Always remember, your focus determines your reality.” ― George Lucas
  • “Everyone wants to live on top of the mountain, but all the happiness and growth occurs while you’re climbing it.” ― Andy Rooney
  • “Don’t tell me the sky’s the limit when there are footprints on the moon.” ― Paul Brandt
  • “All knowledge is worth having.” ― Jacqueline Carey, Kushiel’s Dart
  • “Reach high, for stars lie hidden in you. Dream deep, for every dream precedes the goal.” ― Rabindranath Tagore
  • “Life, with its rules, its obligations, and its freedoms, is like a sonnet: You’re given the form, but you have to write the sonnet yourself.” ― Madeleine L'Engle, A Wrinkle in Time

[There are more quotes under the tab!]

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neighbour! wonwoo

Originally posted by seoten

  • you had just moved into a new apartment and getting to know people, you get to know all except one, wonwoo
  •  and basically wonwoo is that hot mysterious neighbour
  • you don’t really know him except for the fact that he literally has plants over flowing into your balcony
  • and you’ve only ever seen him a few times
  • but when you do, he has a pretty buffalo journal, some specs and an oversized sweater
  • and sometimes you can here him singing lyrics to an unknown song, you also sometimes see him writing into his journal in the cafe near your apartment block
  • he’s just a really attractive man
  • and you have a little cute corgi, unless you don’t want a corgi, then it can be whatever  you want as long as it can move,
  • it’s named peaches, it doesn’t have to be, but for now
  • and peaches is kind of like  your best friend! mingyu, peaches is always so hyper and happy, yet so adorable and cute
  • but because peaches is so hyper, s/he can be pretty hard to handle so you keep your pupper or pet in your house most of the time
  • and it’s usually fine when you leave the house for work or school, but one day peaches was not having it and it went like this,
  • it was a monday morning and you had stayed up the previous night watching pd101 (which i should watch), and you were running around the small apartment throwing things in your bag, trying to multitask. you were ready with a minute to spare so of course, you open the door to leave, but excited peaches runs out the door into your unknown pretty neighbour.
  • as much as I wanna say your unknown, mysterious, hot neighbour was not terrified, he was like fUCK FUCK FUCK
  • and you rAn across the hall and pick peaches up and apologise to you’re neighbour, so you did and wOW HE’S BETTER UP CLOSE
  • it was a few days after seeing your neighbour and you were so embarrassed from the incident, that you would always check the hallway for him before leaving, and avoiding wonwoo would’ve been easier, BUT MINGYU DOESN’T LIKE MAKING THINGS EASY FOR YOU
  • so you were going back to your apartment with mingyu, and he’s like, ‘oH you live right across from a friend of mine wonwoo,’ and blabbers about how they’re pretty close and all, and you’re bUrning red thinking about the incident and minGYU MISTAKES IT FOR YOU LIKING AND WONWOO AND EVEN THOUGH YOU DO ITS JUST A BAD IDEA
  • and you’re on your level and he asks if he can make a stop to visit wonwoo, and you assume he won’t bring you along, BUT YOU’RE WRONG AND NOW YOU’RE SITTING ON WONWOO’S COUCH WHILST MINGYU TALKS TO WONWOO AND WONWOO LISTENS CALMLY AVOIDING EYE-CONTACT WITH YOU 
  • you guys stay there until mingyu leaves and he suggests you and wonwoo hang out more, which makes you and wonwoo blush. 
  • so, you didn’t really plan to, but one time you saw him struggling carry some grocery up the stairs and as much as you’ve embarrassed yourself enough, you might as well help
  • you go up to him and ask if he needs help and at first he’s like lol no i’m fine, but he drops a carton of milk and he kinda, yes i need help
  • and you’re talking and everything’s going smooth until he’s kind of like, dO you wanna go out? then confesses he thinks you’re cute and wanted to say that earlier, but when your dog in his words ‘attacked’ him, he was too embarrassed to, but you shut him up and say you’ll go out with him sometime
  • after like 5 or so dates, he finally decides to make you his, and he’s such a dorky boyfriend, when he comes over he hides behind you incase peaches jumps on him, but after a few months peaches and wonwoo love each other more than they love you
  • and he takes you around his apartment showing you his plants AND HE’S SO CUTE BUT THIS IS GETTING LONG
  • tl;dr you had a really bad meeting, but wonwoo is a cute boyfriend.

THIS WAS KIND OF EH BUT ENJOY HAVE A NICE DAY

- admin jola

Safe

Requested: Can you do one where like shawn says “i’ll do whatever it takes to make you safe again?” (i’m watching twilight and thought it would be cute lol)

~~~

You don’t want to live your life in fear.  You never thought that something like this would happen to you, but it has and can’t help but feel terrified. It started out seemingly innocent enough, nothing to be worried about at the time. Being an actress and dating a famous singer certainly comes with its fair share of hate, and you’ve been in the public eye long enough to learn how to ignore it for the most part. There has, however, been someone who has started stalking you in a way that has become far more than something harmless. It has been going on for about two weeks, and both your publicist and management know about it, but they’re doing their best to keep it all from becoming known to the public and they don’t want to make it into a big deal.

You’ve tried to convince yourself that it isn’t a big deal. You’ve tried to convince yourself that he’s harmless, but you’re terrified that he might really hurt you. You’ve seen him lurking a couple of times when you went to get coffee or sometimes you see him standing outside of your apartment building. Possibly the worst thing about this whole thing and the fact that he’s been showing up so much this last week is that Shawn is in the Philippines for work so you’re all alone in your apartment at night, and that terrifies you.

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A-Z NSFW: Suho

Originally posted by daenso

Disclaimer: I couldn’t find the original poster this came from, but I got this from philanddanxreader, I didn’t come up with this. 

A = Aftercare 

Suho’s EXO’s mom, and the boy looks like a muscle pig, he certainly knows the importance of taking care of yourself after a…ahem…work out. He’s almost annoying with it, “we sweated a lot and you need to rehydrate your body, you have to drink this glass of water before you can sleep” kind of thing, but of course it’s because he loves you and wants you to be happy and healthy afterwards.

B = Body part (Their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s) 

Let’s be real, he’s a muscle pig. He likes his abs. Obv. They come in handy sometimes though, it means he’s got the power to hold you up and stuff….On you he loves your eyes, he likes being able to see every emotion your face tries to hide; you can’t hide the look of love, lust, or arousal in your eyes. They are the gateway to the soul after all, and he loves how he can read you like a book.

C = Cum 

While Suho is usually really composed and proper with everything, he’s pretty messy when he cums. He’s one of the guys that you’ll have to strip the sheets and shower afterwards because he’s like a fckin hose, he sprayed fckin everywhere. Your water bill is going to be sky high….

D = Dirty Secret (a dirty secret of theirs) 

Everyone makes Daddy Suho jokes and whatever but I hella think he’s actually really submissive. He’s got to be in charge of EXO, and be the boss and all, he gets enough taste of being in charge while being the leader of EXO, so it’s almost kind of shameful in his mind that he actually likes to hand over full control to you. But I mean, he’s submissive, you’ll find that out in no time. 

E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)

Suho did have a girlfriend when he was training until they broke up because he couldn’t give her the attention she deserved such a good guy but he’s also one of the most gentlemanly guy’s I’ve ever seen, I don’t see him having had random sex like that, especially that young. So I don’t think he’s actually did the do yet, and tbh I think he’s pretty innocent minded too. Obviously a grown man can’t exactly not know what sex is, but he doesn’t have any real hands on learning experiences. 

F = Favorite position

I see Suho being pretty traditional and vanilla, honestly. Your smutty fanfics don’t fool me, Suho’s a basic sex guy. Missionary or you on top is pretty much the norm in his mind, and that’s most of what you two do, however he’s pretty fond of spooning you and doing it that way. He likes holding you, what can I say?

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc)

I can’t see Suho being stone cold serious when his shirt is off. He’s almost shy and embarrassed, in a way. He’s pretty giggly and sex is really lighthearted and fun, there’s no pressure or expectations with him. 

H = Hair (How well groomed are they)
Suho’s pretty on top of things, he’s organized and handles all the EXO business, I can’t imagine him not taking care of…down there….He’s works out and all, and he’s not bare, but he definitely manscapes and keeps things nice and tamed. 


I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…)

I’ve always said Suho is more husband material than boyfriend material, he’s the guy that you could date for 3 months and be like ‘yup lol he proposed and we’re getting married’ because he’s such a gentleman and romantic and loving. He’s kind of over the top romantic in the bedroom, like the shit you see in movies is how he is, with rose petals and candles and ‘I love you’s and music. You might have to tell him to dial it back at some point because boy…that’s a lot….

J = Jack Off (Masturbation)

[See Yearning] I don’t think he’s a very horny person? He’s pretty busy all the time, between EXO, being the leader of EXO, acting, concerts, practice, working out, etc that I don’t see him actually stopping and taking a minute to jerk off. It’s more of an off, ‘oh im showering and its night and im about to go to bed…washin my dick and ooops im jerking off’ kinda thing, it’s almost an accident half the time lol.

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)
Like I said, he’s not dominant in the bedroom. He’s pretty submissive and let’s you do what you want. Submission on his part is kind of his kink, you being more dominant and all. But he likes being blindfolded too, the whole gig of being submissive and giving you control while taking away his ability to even see and predict what you’re doing really works him up. 


L = Location (Favorite places to do the do)

He doesn’t stray from the bedroom, the bed is the only place to have sex really. Sex is 9/10 right before bed or as soon as you both wake up and you squeeze in some morning sex before his schedule. He doesn’t really have much spare time to skirt off with you to a broom closet or anything, the bedroom is his one and only.

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)

More often than not, you’ll have to be the one to make Suho take a breather and a moment to himself and initiate some form of contact. You coming onto him is what turns him on, he likes you making the first move, and lowkey it’s because he knows how much you want him then, that you’re the one bringing him into your web with promises of a looong night together. 

N = NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Aside from the blindfold, Suho’s not very interested in toys, they just don’t do much for him. He has no issue with you bringing them in and using them, he likes watching, but him using them on you isn’t a turn on for him, he’d rather be doing it himself.

O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc)

He prefers fingering you, to be honest. He’s not very skilled in that sense, but he does have an enjoyment for you riding his face. Suho, on the other hand, quite enjoys having you on your knees, he favors 69 a lot, you topping and both of you having your own fun and giving the pleasure 

P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)

He’s more on the gentle side, he’s not very rough or hard but his pace is pretty fast, toeing the line of unbearably fast. 

Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)
Like I said, he’s not a very hormonal guy, and sex is almost scheduled to happen at night or morning at home, so quickies aren’t a constant in your relationship. He doesn’t enjoy them much, the rush cuts a lot of the pleasure out, so he’d prefer proper sex as apposed to quickies. 


R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)

Suho’s not the kinky guy y’all think he is, he pretty much a standard, vanilla-ish guy. He’s not very experimental, different positions you propose are his extent of experimenting. 

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…)

He’s not easily worn out, he’s used to working out and the extensive EXO schedule, Suho lasts for quite a bit, normally from 6-10 minutes. And typically he can go 2 or 3 rounds if he’s given a proper break and you’re up for it. 

T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)
[See NO]


U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Since you’re mostly in control, he doesn’t have the luxury of teasing, but when given the chance, he does like to tease you a bit. Get you squirming just a lil bit, hear you beg for him, he relishes in it. 

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)
Suho’s a loud guy when it comes to sex, he makes every sound in the book; moaning, grunting, panting, spewing out curses, etc. God forbid someones around, they will hear him plain as day, and poor Suho’ll have to suffer the teasing the next day. 


W = Wild Card (Get a random headcanon for the character of your choice)

A bolt lock was bought specifically because of being walked in by Mr. Picks-A-Lock aka Chanyeol so much. As a leader, you can only have your members see your member so many times before some action needs to be taken….Chan…stop picking locks wtf is wrong with you?

X = X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants, picture or words)


:)))))))))))))))))))

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

Suho’s sex drive is a bit below average, he’s under a lot of stress and working hard that he’s literally got no time for boners, so honestly sex isn’t as frequent in your relationship because he’s not really hormonal or turn on as easily. 

Z = ZZZ (… how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)
Between being the leader, being an EXO member in general, and working out for the muscles he has….Suho doesn’t tire out easily. He’s used to working hard and pushing his body to the limits, so just sex with you isn’t going to be enough to put him to sleep. He’s move of an after sex cuddler, before he gets up and has to go about his day. He doesn’t go to sleep after sex, not unless it’s literally bed time. 

A Far Away Infinity

I actually am posting this when I said I was going to! A miracle. And another million thank yous for all the love for this story! It makes me write faster ;) Enjoy and let me know what you think! Also look who got fancy with a picture.

Part 1

Part 2  // Sometimes You Have to Grin and Bare it //

“So, how’s Frank?” Jamie asked, kicking a random stone off to the side and into the grass. 

The park they were walking through was busy with kids out of school running around and playing in the hills. The clouds had lifted and the lake they were walking around glistened under the attention.

Keep reading

Fanfiction - Stealing Tomorrow (Chapter 4)

A little earlier than expected! As I’ll probably be busy on Friday and didn’t want to keep you waiting for long…:)

Chapter 4 – They All Come Rushing Back

Broch Mordha, 14 years and 9 months ago

“Are ye ill, mo ghraidh?” Jamie asked, his brow furrowing in concern. They were in her small cottage, eating bowls of fragrant pasta that Jamie had cooked for them. “Ye are verra quiet this evening.”

“No.” She gave him a weak smile and drank profusely from her glass of water. “I’m alright.”

“Something amiss, then?” He insisted, searching her eyes with his as to force her to make eye contact with him. “I can see something is troubling ye.”

“Fine. Just tired.” Claire replied shortly, playing with small bits of garlic with her fork. “Long day in the clinic.”

“No, ye’re not.” Jamie said and she noticed the tension on his face. “I’ve seen you tired to the point of falling asleep on your feet during that gastroenteritis outbreak last month – and ye were never like this.” He touched her hand and winced as she slowly retreated from his grasp. “I’ll respect your desire of not telling me – but please, dinna pretend everything is fine.”

Claire exhaled and slowly raised her eyes, meeting his – anger, sadness and confusion shone in her whiskey coloured iris.

“If you want to know,” She said with some asperity. “Laoghaire came to see me today. She had plenty to tell me.”

“Och, aye?” Jamie nodded, expectant. “What did she tell ye, then?”

“That you have been fooling me since we met.” Claire said in a hoarse voice, clenching her hands together near her plate. “That our relationship is nothing but a dalliance to you – something to entertain you during the summer, until I go back to Edinburgh and you take up with her - again.”

Jamie’s mouth was slightly ajar, as the small blue vein on his temple throbbed furiously.

“The lass must have lost her wits!” He grumbled, pushing away his own food, having obviously lost his usually insatiable appetite. “I knew she was a little soft for me – for helping her with the brute that is her father, I guess – but this is ridiculous!”

“Is it, Jamie?” Claire blatantly looked away. “Can you honestly say she means nothing to you – and that I’m not just…a distraction in a boring summer in the village?”

“How can ye even ask me that?!” Jamie roared, his fists closing. His blue eyes were blazing and his entire body pulsed with rage. “Are you suggesting I’m playing you false?”

“You didn’t answer the question, Jamie.” Claire hissed, her cheeks blushing with fury and her curls curling madly around her face. “Avoiding simple questions usually means there is something to hide.”

“Must I tell you with words what I have been answering you with actions from the day we met?” He clenched his teeth. “Must I tell you that – no! – I haven’t been fuckin’ Laoghaire behind yer back?”

“She knew an awful lot about you.” Claire raised from the table and started to throw dishes into the sink. “She knew you have a small scar on the inside of your thigh – I’ve barely seen it myself, only noticed it when we went to the lake.”

“Probably the exact same reason why she knows it too.” Jamie rubbed his knuckles against his forehead in despair. “Not because she has been in my bed!”

“Laoghaire loves you, you know.” Claire clashed her hands against the kitchen counter, speaking in a broken tone – hurt and afraid. “She has known you all your life. She is the type of girl everyone here expected you to marry – I’m aware of what they say about me. Foreign. Outlander.”

“Stop this madness, Claire!” Jamie almost yelled, coming to stand next to her. She could feel the urge that moved him, the intensity of his eyes fixing her. “I love you, mo nighean donn. Your words of distrust wound me more than your wee scalpel could. Do ye not know that I have but one heart – and ye are the sole master of it?”  

“I can’t bear the thought of you touching her!” Claire shouted, her hands grabbing her own hair. “I can’t bear the way she said you name in front of me! If you must leave me – do it now. Before there’s not enough of me to live when you’re gone.”

Jamie was breathing fast and came to stand behind her – his palms next to her waist, but not quite touching her.

“You’re killing me, Claire.” He almost sobbed in a husky voice. “You are the breath of me, the spark of my body. Away from you I have no air – no heart, no life. Maybe there was a time when I could be with Laoghaire…” He bent his head and pressed his forehead in the hollow between her shoulder blades. “But now there is no turning back. Ye have marked me and made me yours, mo chridhe. And I shall remain so for the rest of my days, whether when I’m inside ye, in the brink of touching ye or a thousand miles away.”

“Jamie…” Claire whispered, her body relaxing against his. “I’m scared. I’ve never been so happy in my life – and so afraid.”

“Tell me.” He pulled her closer, gluing their bodies together. “Tell me all your heart – as I’ve told you my soul.”

“I want you so much.” She turned inside his arms and hugged him by the waist, their lips almost touching. “Will you have me?”

She could feel his heart beating under the palm of her hand, rushing – not from anger any longer, but from anticipation. From tenderness. From desire.

“Are you sure?” He kissed her palm and then her temple. As an answer, her hands came up to take off her blouse.

Their lovemaking was slow and tactful – after being so honest with each other, they felt vulnerable and exposed. Sometimes one of them would be a little rough, just enough to seal their claim on each other – just enough to find that ultimate redoubt where they have been hiding. It was not a battle for dominion or possession – they had established their peaceful surrender to each other – but a fight to merge together until no doubt could be raised, ever again.

“Will you come with me to Edinburgh?” Claire asked in the darkest hours of the night, when they laid together, sated and tranquil. “I know it’s too much to ask.” She was caressing the soft hairs of his stomach, a roadmap to the secrets ahead.

Jamie moved slowly, reaching for his jeans that laid forgotten on the floor. From his back pocket he withdrew an envelope, which he presented to Claire.

“What is this?” She nuzzled his hand.

“My request for a transfer from Glasgow University to Edinburgh’s.” Jamie’s eyes were intent and limpid. “I shall be where you are, Claire. I canna leave you.”

They kissed, passionate and hungry, their tongues seeking each other to celebrate their pact. And when Claire finally laid her head on his chest, slept lulled by his heart calling only for her.

****

Edinburgh, Present day

At the sight of Joe walking out of the sliding doors that led to the OR area, crumpling his blue surgical cap on his hands, Claire jumped from the chair where she had been sitting for the last couple of hours.  

“How did it go?” She asked impatiently, searching his eyes for tell-tale signs of an unfavourable outcome, and slightly relaxing when she saw the good-humoured wrinkles around his golden brown eyes.

“It went smoothly, LJ.” Joe smiled. “Your man is strong as a bull. He’ll pull through, I’m sure. The orthopaedics team is still in there working on his hand.”

“He is not my man.” Claire grumbled as she awkwardly hugged Joe, silently thanking him for taking care of Jamie. Joe was a trusted friend and had been an irreplaceable support over the last few years - his agreement to accompany her to Edinburgh and to integrate her team had been decisive in her acceptance of the proposal to return to Scotland. “I should be there when he wakes up from the anaesthesia.”

Joe offered her a knowing look, with a hint of reproach.

“You should take care of yourself, doll.” He shook his head and raised his sketchy eyebrows. “Go home and take a shower. Clear your head away from here - and think exactly what the hell are you going to say to him afterwards. Not that I wouldn’t agree with you punching him, but that spleen was hard work.”

“We have said plenty already, Joe.” She sighed. “I’m not expecting – not sure I even want to – anything to happen. We will fix him and send him back to the life he chose.”

“For a man that broke your heart,” He brushed her jaw in a tender gesture. “He cares an awful lot about you too. Kept asking about your life right until he dozed off from the drugs. Seemed afraid that you had someone…special.”

“The bloody gall of the man!” Claire growled, outraged. “I could be shagging the entire Scotland Rugby Team and he still wouldn’t have any right to say a word about it!”

“The entire team?” Joe snorted. “You are one lively brod LJ, but not sure even you could handle it – besides, you’d never see the inside of an OR. Not really time to do anything else.”

“Oh, shut up!” Claire jokingly pushed him with her elbow. “You are missing my point.”

“No.” He stopped and grabbed her by the shoulders, suddenly serious. “You are missing mine. You are my friend, LJ. A lovely woman – only second to Gail - and one hell of a surgeon. But I still remember you from when we met, those odd years ago – how you smiled so often and how joy seemed to follow you everywhere you’d go. If you have the chance…can you do something to find that girl again?”

****

The closet door in her bedroom hung open like the entry to a mysterious cave, where jumpers and jeans plotted together in her absence. For the first time in a long time she felt the pull of it – the box religiously kept behind her rarely used summer hats and beach towels, ever present yet distant from her everyday thoughts.

With her hair still dripping from the shower, she walked to the shelf and stood there, breathing deeply, trying to gather her courage – she could still recall its contents with her mind’s eye, as clearly as the day she had put them there to rest. Biting her lip in reluctant decision, she stood on tiptoe to get the box down and sat on the floor with her legs crossed.

Once she took the lid off, the smell of old paper and dried flowers floated to her nostrils, as if she had managed to successfully bottle the aroma of her happy days. God, sometimes she could almost doubt she had been so happy – if not for the undeniable photographs of them together, smiles that reached their eyes and joined hands; if not for the nagging pain that lived in the back of her mind, ever-present, all-consuming.

Inside the box were plenty of photographs – the older ones from their first summer together in Broch Mordha, Lallybroch and the Highlands. Pictures of them together laughing, eating pizza snuggled on the couch, kissing in bed. Images of her, which he had captured when she was unaware, smiling above her shoulder to him or peacefully asleep on the curve of his arm. A couple of Jamie, standing by the lake with his hair moist and a huge grin on his beautiful lips.  A succession of small sized instant photos of them together in a shady photo booth in Edinburgh on their anniversary, her sitting on his lap, complete with an array of hilarious faces. There were letters there too – Claire saw Jamie’s crocked handwriting and her old stationery. No point in reading them, though – she knew each one by heart, the written words imprinted in some secret part of her that never agreed to let him go.

And finally she saw it – amongst all those broken pieces that fitted together to create a perfect image of them - what she had been looking for all along. A sob caught in her throat as she reached inside and closed her fist around it – and for the first time in almost ten years, Claire held her wedding ring on the palm of her hand.

breathe

cs future family — ღ — CaptainCharming II CaptainCobra — “I broke down crying in your Grandfather’s arms the night my daughter was born…” — or, you know, the night the wee babies are born and how these guys handled the whole thing.  (slightly)angsty fluff? :)

This is obviously never in a million years happening in canon, but I’m still craving already all the Daddy!Killian/Grandpa!Killian fluff, so here’s THIS anyway! I very selfishly needed it! :D Flashbacks are in Italics. (( AO3 ))


    Killian wishes he knew the exact way or words to help the lad. He knows in his heart that everything is going to turn out fine regardless, but he still wishes Henry knew this as well.

And he knows, oh Killian knows rationally Henry probably knows everything’s going to be okay already, but Killian also knows, from his own experience, that right this second, rationality isn’t exactly first on Henry’s mind.

So he waits it out. Killian doesn’t exactly want to approach Henry with his unsolicited opinion, but he still knows the two of them are bound to exchange some words at some point this day anyway.

Killian knows it’s not the right time yet though. The lad is seemingly trying to appear so tough and in control of the whole situation and Killian respects that.

Killian has to commend him for it even; he’s doing a much more believable job than Killian ever did once upon a time when he was in Henry’s shoes.

Needlessly to say, Killian Jones can’t be prouder of his lad right now.

— ღ   —

He’s losing it.

He’s shaking and he feels as though someone has a very tight grip on his heart right now. He feels sweaty and tingly —as though he’s being suffocated from the inside out. He tries to force himself to breathe but it comes out shallow and rapid. He shudders; eyes squeezing against the tears he doesn’t wish to cry.

His chest almost hurts and he wants— he doesn’t know what he wants —he just needs to do something, but he’s useless. All evening he’s done nothing but watch and it’s —it’s too bloody much for him to handle.

Killian turns facing a wall, his palm flat on the cool surface steadying him. He doesn’t trust his legs to hold him up so he leans heavily onto the wall, his forehead touching its surface. He breathes, harshly and unsteady, he wants to scream really —cry perhaps too, out of frustration and—

“Breathe,” a voice calls, and Killian hears it muffled by the sound of his very own heart pounding in his ears. “Breathe,”

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Fic: Shelter [Keyleth, Vex | Episode 85 Spoilers]

[AO3 | FFN | More Fic]

Keyleth chases down Vex in the immediate aftermath. Major spoilers for episode 85.

Shelter

“Not now, Keyleth.”

Keyleth’s heart is pounding too-loud in her ears, and not just from taking the steps three at a time. Now that she’s caught up with Vex, now that she can hear the catch in her breathing, now that she can see her clenched jaw and narrowed eyes, she doesn’t know what to say. She’s not good at this, never has been, but hells, maybe there are only so many harsh words you can hear from family before they stop meaning anything, because she reaches out and grabs Vex’s hand and starts walking.

“Keyleth.” It’s more of a resigned sigh than a rebuke, the special brand of exasperation that sometimes gets under Keyleth’s skin because it’s just a little bit condescending, just a little bit of a jab at her naiveté. “I think I just want to be alone.”

Not trusting herself to speak around the lump in her throat, Keyleth squeezes Vex’s hand distractedly, and pauses, unsure of her direction after the headlong dash through the corridors. She can find her way through forests and mountains and even open sky without losing her path, but the human-built enclosure of the castle still trips her up, sometimes, much as she’s come to think of it as another home. Now the labyrinthine walls feel like a betrayal of that budding familiarity, and the knot in her chest tightens at the thought.

Vex sighs, pulling her hand free and crossing her arms. “Two lefts to the main gate. Come on, then. Let’s go find something to drink that’s strong enough to beat Grog at arm-wrestling.”

Keep reading

4

Part 1

Part 2

You absolutely hated the idea of getting a tutor when you didn’t even need it. Your grades were excelling in the challenging environment, yet the teacher decided to act presumptively and assign you with a tutor, who happened to be the best in the class.

It was Peter Parker, someone you’d probably not notice if he wasn’t your tutor. After meeting him, he was almost inserted into your life and you welcomed him. If it weren’t for the stupid tutoring sessions your teacher made you do. You scowled at the book the two of you were looking at. “This is pointless. I have an A in all my classes!”

Peter smiled crookedly at you before looking back down to his book and mentioning in a casual tone, “You transferred to a completely different school in sophomore year. Not to mention, this school is for geniuses. Most transfers need a tutor.”

Glancing up at him, you added stubbornly, “I’m not a normal transfer.”

“Can’t say you are, Y/N Y/L/N,” Peter responded with a small smirk as he continued to talk about Computer Science. So, you weren’t a fan of people knowing who exactly you were. It’s not like any of your records said anything about your last name being Stark, and that means you weren’t technically lying about your father.

Withholding information isn’t lying. You just wanted a normal high school experience and, although you mended things with your dad, you didn’t want people to think that he got you into the school so you couldn’t handle it. Yes, he got you into the school, but that was just a stepping stone. You were trying your hardest to absorb all the information being thrown at you.

Not to mention the tensions at the Avengers Compound. Due to Sokovia and recent government problems, the team was rather split up. You didn’t want the government to control the Avengers, but you knew the civilian deaths were a serious issue with Tony. Besides, he was set on keeping you out of the conflict itself. It still hurt to see the team you loved so much falling apart.

Yet another thing to worry about is Peter. He’s been very tired lately and he’s been trying to blame it on the schoolwork and late nights. What Peter doesn’t know is that sometimes, if his sleeve is rolled up slightly, you’ll see occasional bruises and cuts. You immediately thought that he got himself involved in something that he shouldn’t be involved in, but you dismissed the idea.

It’s Peter after all. He couldn’t have gotten in that much trouble. He was just a sweet, albeit slightly dorky, guy. There are so many things he could do, but Peter knows when to avoid a bad situation. That’s how he managed to stop the major bullying from Flash.

Little did you know, Peter was looking at you and noticing how tired you seemed. After the tutoring session, he asked if you were okay. Since you couldn’t tell him that the stress of civil war was keeping you up, you simply smiled and stated, “I’ve just been worried lately. You know, because of all the crime lately.”

Concern flashed through his eyes and Peter wondered, “Has something happened?”

“No, not at all. I’m just a bit nervous.”

You began to walk away, but Peter stopped you and said, “I could walk you home.” He wanted to stop by as Spiderman and keep an eye out, but he had no idea where you lived.

Raising your eyebrow, you simply declined, “No thanks. I’m waiting for my dad anyway. Besides, I don’t want you staying up late tonight because of homework.” To hide your obvious lie, you said the last part as if you were a worried mother.

“Thanks, Mom,” he teased before continuing, “Okay. See you tomorrow, Y/N!” You were surprised that he just dropped the conversation, but shrugged it off and continued to walk.

Peter almost ran home so he could get his schoolwork done before his night roaming began. His mind went over the conversation with you. He was still concerned over you losing sleep and decided to see if he could find your address off the school directory.

It hadn’t been updated yet, so you weren’t there. Peter hesitated until he finally just typed your name into a search bar. Yes, he knew that this was slightly creepy, but it was good intentions, right?

Not much came up for your name. Miscellaneous things appeared like some awards you won at your old school. It wasn’t until he stumbled on an article that had recanted its statement. There were some photos of you, leaving what was Stark Towers. No one had any idea why you were there. Tony Stark had replied to the author that your mother was a friend of his and he had given you a summer internship.

You knew Tony Stark? Peter’s eyes widened and his mind raced. Why hadn’t you told him? You knew how much Peter looked up to Tony Stark. Maybe he could casually bring it up in conversation. He groaned slightly to himself, realizing he’d have to explain how he had stumbled upon an obscure article about you. That would seem creepy probably.

Groaning again, he closed the browser and shut his laptop. Of course he found out something about you, but Peter had no idea where you lived. All dreams of protecting you dissipated and reality came crashing back. You’d never like him. You’re just hanging out with him because Peter’s your tutor and one of the only people you knew at Midtown.

When the battle between Avengers was inevitable, you almost shut down in on yourself. Peter was extremely worried for you. Was the transition to Midtown hard? Your grades weren’t suffering, so it couldn’t be that bad. You told him a bit about your old school, and never in a nostalgic way.

Maybe it was personal? It shocked Peter at how little he knew about you. Sure, you met Peter that year, but it’s been a while since you first met him. He would have thought to at least know what your family was like. Some little comment about your mother or father.

You said nothing about your family. Maybe it was a family issue. He stared at you as you did your work. Peter was supposed to be tutoring, but he was too distracted by the dark circles under your eyes, signifying a consistent poor sleep schedule, something Peter knew all too well. He would look over at you from time to time, wishing he could do something.

The Avengers Compound seemed practically empty without everyone there. Wanda was shipped off to another compound, where Steve and Clint broke her out. Natasha stayed, but seemed distant as well. You silently did your homework on the counter in the kitchen when Tony walked in. He paused at your appearance. The Accords and everything had distracted him from your wellbeing. You obviously looked stressed over the upcoming battle.

He cleared his throat. You looked over your shoulder quickly, relaxing when you saw Tony. Walking over and placing a hand on your shoulder, Tony said in a reassuring tone, “You keeping up with the work perfectly. Once you’re done your homework, I want you in bed asleep.”

Simply nodding, you noticed his car keys in his hands and asked, “Are you going somewhere, Dad?”

“Recruiting the new Spider-kid,” he answered nonchalantly, “I’ll just pick up some dinner afterwards so don’t wait up.” Tony left you all by your lonesome, so you turned on some music while you did your homework.

About thirty minutes later, you felt your phone buzz on the table. Seeing it was Peter, you looked at it, not expecting much. It read, “Hey, I’m going to need you to collect my homework for the next few days.”

“Why?” you responded.

“I got an internship for Tony Stark!” You looked at the text in shock when another text came through from Peter. “By the way, anything you want to tell me?”

A strangled noise escaped from your mouth as the realization set in. FRIDAY immediately powered up and the voice resonated from the ceiling, “Miss Stark, I am unaware of that sound. Is everything okay?”

“He’s Spiderman!” you yelled at the AI.

“I am confused,” FRIDAY continued, “Is there a spider in the room?”

pages of a lost life

Originally posted by ky-ngsoo

pairing: jungkook x mc

genre: angst, hardcore angst.

summary: After finding an interesting enevelope inside his mailbox, Jungkook goes back to the place where everything started. Only to say his goodbyes.

word count: 12k

warnings: there are several mature topics but I can´t specify them without spoiling anything, read at your own risk or read them here.

author´s note: this is a oneshot, there won´t be anymore parts. Also, this story might not be everyone´s cup of tea, but I needed to write it. And as always, if you read this, please let me know what you think, whether it´s positive or negative.


Jungkook never believed time could heal him, or anyone, or anything.

It had been hours, days, months, even years since he had last seen you. He wished he could think about you. He wished for it all the time. To remember the moments the two of you had spent together. But you were nowhere to be found inside his mind.

Keep reading

artist: unknown


toxic parents

it’s hard to prove abuse when there are no scars to show.

“when she guilts me into fulfilling her wishes. he won’t let me move too far from him because he might, just might, need me for something, sometime, someday. that time she was quick, almost too eager, to berate me in a simple argument. when he dominates every conversation we have, forcing his beliefs onto me and invalidating every opinion or personal experience of mine. when i wanted to express & resolve the pain she caused me and she fell silent, dismissing the conversation, sweeping it all under the rug. i hate asking them for favors as they do it out of future leverage and not love; they use money & my financial straits in an attempt to control me.“they know what’s best” and refuse to allow me to mature & create the life i desire. the times she made me her emotional dump, or when he made me ‘the reason’ why he had to hurt me with his words. they never accept responsibility for their decisions, disrespecting my boundaries in any, and every way, because they’re the parents and i belong to them. they meet any discussion with with manipulation tactics: rage, guilt tripping or denial when confronted. it’s never any accountability, just micro-aggressions and gas-lighting, “i don’t know what you mean”, “that’s not what i meant”, “you’re just sensitive”. taking full advantage of every opportunity to take a dig at me, blasting every failure and shortcoming to anyone that has an ear to hear, being my constant reminder that i will never be better than them. i feel like i’m competing with her, with him. the not so innocent “jokes” they tell about me, and then blame my anger on my “poor” sense of humor. it can’ never be them, it’s always me. instead of telling me how he feels, he creates an uneasy atmosphere being passive aggressive. i live life afraid of upsetting them, the threat of disowning me is always on the table to teach me to cave & discourage free thinking. them being in my life means more than me being happy. and as much as it drains me, i still make that weekly phone call out of child guilt & obligation, and not a show of love & affection. i just don’t want to be the bad, ungrateful child they seem to see me as. i honestly feel depleted in every way after every interaction involving them. i feel i have to protect myself from them, mentally, emotionally, physically, and i shouldn’t have to…”

life has taught me a few things…
our parents are humans. they, too, have had ruinous experiences in their early years which has influenced who they are today. they are not after you. it isn’t even about you. they are caught up in reenacting their childhood through you. how they treat you has nothing to do with you.

none of this means you have to participate. you do not have to stick around. it is okay to walk away. it is okay to let go. you don’t have to be their punching bag while they face their demons.

if you choose to keep them in your life, don’t be hard on yourself. do not regret the love, empathy and compassion you have towards your parents. rejoice in remaining light in heavy situations. no one wants to give up on their parents. and if you happen to get hurt again, forgive yourself. make sure you forgive yourself. you did the best you could.
you cannot make people feel what they do not want to feel. their feelings are not your responsibility. if you can make them feel an emotion, it is because they already resonated with that frequency. if anyone argues that you are responsible for their feelings, or they are responsible for yours, they are crossing an emotional boundary. do not accept that. respectfully, assert yourself as an individual to place that boundary between you and them. you are your own being, and so are they.

for those who still live at home, recognize the cycle and its triggers. you can only stop what you understand. the goal is to mitigate the risk of negative interactions and protecting yourself, not to prove that you are right and they are wrong. this will only exhaust you, and feed them. more importantly, when i understood their triggers, it created that more much room for peace for myself, even if temporal.

before you invite them back into your story line, ask yourself questions like: “am i willing to sacrifice my own health and happiness for them?” “am i willing to sacrifice my relationship with my partner for them?” “am i willing to sacrifice my job, income or my finances for them?” “am i okay knowing that for the rest of my life they’ll call my job multiple times a day, or show up to my house at any time unannounced, refusing to acknowledge the boundaries i set in place?” “can i have a relationship with them for the rest of my life if i knew they would never change?” these questions are not meant to force you into making a decision, but to help you gain a full perspective before you do make a decision.

minimize all arguing, as this is a direct result of reacting. if you can, walk away. this isn’t for them, but for you. the moment you react this way you are now officially sucked back in the cycle, which was what they wanted. as a result, you will end up with your energy depleted, while they feed on your frustration. they may never change how they feel, and you might not ever change how you feel; accept that for the time being and disengage. you’ll need all the energy you have. this is about conserving until it’s time to fight the right battle. if you do decide to respond, remember to usher in love with it. you’re the alchemist. you can change the tone. respond. don’t react.

talk to someone. create a safe space. journal your encounters with your parents: how did you feel? could you have handled your interaction with them any better? talk to someone, whether it be friends, family or a counselor. you might not be able to change your environment but changing your perspective works just as well. conversations invite change, but if you spend the rest of your life with bottled-up unresolved issues, you will end up replaying your childhood through everyone, including yours kids. most importantly, create a safe space for yourself. whether physical or in your mind, know that you have a space you can run to that no one can penetrate without your permission.
your parent(s) may not cooperate and that’s completely fine. do not force them. it will be hard for them to accept that you are refusing be their target after so many years of blind appeasement. with time they might adjust, or they might not. once again, and i cannot stress this enough, you are not responsible for them. you can only do what is best for you. this is about you, your growth, and your boundaries. it is not about getting them to see their destructive ways. you are all you need. i hope this helps. i love you.