sometimes i just dont know what to gif and things like this happen

I BELIEVE IN YOU


(requested by   @toriar1019 )

word count : 3 884
summary :  Kai fights the siren’s mind control because of his feelings for Reader.
* gif by phantom-evil
__________________________

A week. That’s how long Y/N and her friends tried everything to open the Vault at the Armoury to get back Kai and Damon. None of them was prepared to find the Vault completely empty , none of them could figure out how they got out. Y/N had thought the anguish she had felt during that time was too much but what came next broke her completely. Three months went by before there was even a hint about what Damon and Kai might be up to. Things only got worse from there.
Being separated had always been hard , but this time it was different. Kai wasn’t on some trip for a few days somewhere. There wasn’t a way to find them with a locator spell or anything. It took Y/N and her friends month to track them down and eventually find them at an abandoned slaughter house after a victim was found.
Stefan and Y/N had gone there and had tried to get them back the same second they found them , but things hadn’t gone according to plan. Seeing Kai had been enough to put the pieces of her heart together again and shatter it completely right after specially after hearing Kai say ‘I don’t love you and I never have. Go before I rip your throat out.’ Those words echoed in her mind and they cut deeper than any knife ever could , even though she knew he hadn’t meant a syllable. Kai’s eyes had betrayed him , the way he had held onto her hand for a few seconds before pushing her away - he had done it on purpose to get her to leave. Y/N never gave up hope and seeing him only made her more determined to get him back , no matter what she had to do or who she’d have to go through to make it happen.

Kai couldnt believe what his life had been turned into the past few months. He had spent years trying to be better and learn to control his blood thirst after he turned , had a girl who loved him enough to risk her own life more than once just to save him and just when he was about to get everything he ever wanted he got himself into this mess. All of this had ruined helping people for him. Worst part of it all was that no matter how much he fought , there was no way out. Kai was stuck with Sybil and his least favourite person on this planet who had tried more than once to kill him. It had been months since Kai had been with Y/N and he had wanted to go back for her so many times but knew if Sybil found out about her , his girl would end up dead or worse. He couldnt let that happen.
    “What is he doing?” asked the siren.
Damon glanced at him. Kai was sitting not too far away from them with some paper in his hands , reading or more like pretending to read so he doesn’t have to think about the things he had done in order to keep Sybil distracted and keep his girl safe. Y/N – he suppressed a smile , just her name was enough to make him happy but he couldn’t let it show. He closed his eyes and he could see her smile , even hear her voice sometimes.
    “Catching up on current events.” said Kai indifferently. “The mysterious disappearances are drawing too much attention. Think you can cut back on red meat a bit ?”
Sybil rolled her eyes. “I spent a better part of a thousand years trapped in a Vault. So no , and who are you to tell me what to do ?”
Kai sighed. He was getting tired of being an evil minion , finding her ‘evil people’ to eat , not to mention how fighting the siren’s mind control was getting harder each day. However he was doing better than Damon , who was flying on full cruise control. His least favourite Salvatore didn’t even remember who Elena was now , thats how much Sybil had messed with his head. Kai would rather die than have his memories of Y/N twisted or replaced with new versions.
    “No one , apparently.” he said with a smirk. “I’m going out to grab a snack. Blood bags just dont do it for me as you well know.”
    “Fine , but dont go too far.” said the siren. “There is a housewife living in the house next door , bet she is delicious.”
    “Thanks for the offer, but I prefer my blood a little younger.” said Kai walking past them. “I’m going to look for a cheerleader at the high school or some confused teen at a bar. Oh or a sorority girl. Who knows what I’d find.”
After all those months they were finally close by Mystic Falls. About two weeks ago when he had briefly seen Y/N for the last time , it had been so hard fighting the urge to pull her into his arms , suffocate her with kisses and never let go of her again. The look in her eyes , how they had lit up when she saw him - it was all seared into his mind. In that moment he had felt happy again but then came the look of hurt when he had said all those horrible things to push her away for her own safety. Y/N was stubborn as hell , more determined than ever - it had been his only option to get her to go. Kai had never been more afraid of his feelings for the brave human girl than in this moment. Even after the merge with Luke , he hadnt been that shaken of everything he was feeling. Just the thought of her getting hurt in any way was enough to send him in a really dark place. There was no life for him without her and he was sure if she died , he’d die with her.
Sybil kept digging in his mind and he knew at some point she’d uncover Y/N’s existence. There was only one thing left he could do to protect her , as painful as it might be for the both of them. After all this mess was over he’d go and find her , move away with her, start a new. Kai walked into town , knowing her daily routine hoping nothing had changed and she’d still be going to work at the Grill. He stood a few hundred metres away waiting for her and just like always at the exact same time every Tuesday - there she was. More beautiful than ever with a look of determination on her face. A gust of wind blew out of nowhere (or more like Kai manipulated the weather) and she turned towards him. The look on her face changed between shock , surprise , caution , surprise and love – sticking to the last one. Her eyes widened and she ran towards him not even paying attention to traffic or cars or anything or anyone else in general.
    “Kai!” said Y/N running directly into his arms. “H-how are you here ? Why are you here?”
Kai pulled her towards him , tighter than ever and smiled at her. He could see in her eyes she knows something was wrong with him. Did he really look as broken on the outside as he felt on the inside? he wondered. His hands cupped her face and he kissed her gently for a few seconds. The young heretic couldn’t believe after everything he had said , Y/N had ran towards him like that instead of going the other way , how she hadn’t yelled at him or slapped him or anything.
    “I’m sorry Y/N … I should’ve never gone to that Vault.” said Kai softly, his voice filled with sadness and regret. “I am sorry for what I said to you a few days ago too. We had ears on us –”
    “I knew you didn’t mean it.” she smiled widely at him , not willing to let go off him or move more than half an inch away. “Whats going on Kai ?”
Y/N gazed into his eyes - he looked different - broken , crushed. The way he had pulled her towards him , as if letting go of her would mean his death both scared her and made her happy. Whatever was happening it was probably worse than she had thought.
    “I … I literally cannot say.” he sighed. Y/N looked at him with a puzzled expression.”No , I mean it – whenever I try to say out loud whats going on it comes out all giberish.”
    “Doesn’t matter , as long as you are here. Come on , lets go home —”
    “I cant.” said Kai. “I want to , more than anything but I — cant. You need to leave town. Now.“ he said with a serious look. “Go home , pack up your things and leave. It’s not safe for you here.”
    “Leave ?! No. Not without you.” protested Y/N.
    “I – the siren keeps digging inside my memories , trying to find what I am holding on to.” said Kai , cupping her face. “There is no way to stop her. Her neck gets snapped and she comes back to life 5 seconds later. If something happens to you -”
    “- I’ll die if something happens to you.” she said pressing her lips onto his. Kai pulled her towards him , kissing her as if its the last time he’d ever kiss her.
    “For once in your life, do as I say.” he demanded. “Don’t make me compell you to forget all about me.”
Y/N took a step away from him. Kai wouldn’t compell her , he wouldn’t go that far. Never. Though this desperate look in his eyes made her feel nervous. She understood he wanted to protect her , like always but he wouldn’t cross that line.
    “You wouldn’t…”
    “We both know I’ll do whatever it takes to protect you. Even if it means losing you.”
Tears had started gathering in her eyelids just thinking how just when she finally got him back , he wants her to go away.  No way. There was another way to get him to go with her , because there is no version of her life without him — and that way was walking towards them in that moment.
    “Okay – I’ll leave.” she sighed in defeat.
Kai looked at her with a mix of surprise and heartbreak in his eyes clearly not expecting her to give in that easily and dreading losing her again.
    “But you are coming with me.” she finished , seeing Stefan behind Kai , holding a vervain syringe. A few moments later Kai dropped unconscious. “Thanks for that Stef.”
    “Yeah. Don’t mention it.” replied the Salvatore, holding Kai’s body. “I suggest you two get out of town. Alaric is working on finding out what that instrument is and how it helps us kill the siren. As soon as we figure it out , our lives would go back to normal or as normal as they were before all this.”
    “What is normal anyways?” she wondered.
With Stefan’s help she got Kai onto the backseat of her car. Y/N put the keys in the ignition and drove off as fast as she could not giving a damn about the speeding limits or red lights or anything. Her eyes kept darting between the road and the review mirror , looking at Kai on the back seat. Everything was fine until they passed old Miller Road and he started to wake up screaming in pain , holding his head in his hands.
    “Y/N… stop the car.” he groaned rolling around the backseat.
    “No. We — we are leaving. There has to be a way to get you away from her and out of her control.”
    “I - I can’t l-leave.” he groaned and reached his hand stopping the car with magic.
Y/N hit the gas pedal again , tried the ignition but none of it worked - the car had stopped in the middle of the road. A groan of frustration left her lips. What had the siren did to him ? Kai got out of the car and started walking back into town. Quickly she unbuckled her seat belt and ran after him , catching up in a few metres. Seeing him in pain broke her heart , even more noticing the tears in his eyes. He kept rubbing his forehead , groaning in pain. Y/N placed her hands on his shoulders making him look at her.
    “Kai , whats happening ? Tell me.”
    “I am too far away from her. She is p-pulling me back.” said Kai taking another step towards town. “Get in the car and go before she finds you -”
    “You are stronger than this Kai. You can fight it –”
    “I’ve been fighting it for months now … ”
    “Don’t stop. I will help you. We’ll find a way to break the link , I promise.”
Kai laughed under his breath. “You can’t help me Y/N. I know you love me and want to help but - ”
    “Well , well , well…” said a young woman with short brown hair and brown eyes , standing a few steps away from them. “I was wondering how you keep resisting my control. Pity this girl didn’t listen when you told her to leave. Damon , if you may –”
Damon grabbed Y/N before Kai had had time time to react , holding her in a tight grip ready to snap her neck at a moments notice. Kai tried to get to her but the siren hummed some tune and he stopped in his tracks , visibly struggling to get to his girl.
    “Now , Kai.” said the siren taking a step towards the young heretic who was trying hard to fight her influence and move. “If you don’t want anything awful to befall your girlfriend –”
    “Fiance.” he corrected quietly.
    “– then you are going to do exactly as I say. Both you and Damon are quite resourceful when it comes to picking victims but I think you’ll be a lot more committed when there is nothing holding you back. So , I am giving you a choice.”
Y/N watched Kai stare at the ground , refusing to meet the siren’s eyes. His hands were shaking and she knew that look very well. Under any other circumstance at this point , whoever had gotten in his way would have had their throat ripped out or their head would’ve rolled on the ground. It was a look Y/N hadn’t seen in almost 4 years and made her blood freeze. Her fiance was angry , hurt and scared and whenever one of those emotions took over things always ended badly. Y/N didn’t care what would happen to her , but she worried about what the siren wants Kai to do.
    “What kind of a choice?” he asked.
    “Shut off your humanity and come with me or watch your fiance die.” said the siren , pausing for a moment. “You know what – maybe I will make it more interesting and make you kill her. Imagine this - having to live with the guilt of killing the one person who you love more than anything.”
    “Don’t — don’t do this to him.” pleaded Y/N , stepping on Damon’s foot with force in an attempt to get free. The vampire growled in her ear. “Let me go Damon or I swear … I’ll get to that coffin and burn Elena’s body myself.”
    “Elena ? Who’s – who’s Elena?” asked Damon.
Y/N gulped. If the siren could erase Elena’s existence from Damon’s mind then what could she have done to Kai ?
Sybil laughed. “I see why you love her. Maybe if she was a supernatural I would’ve taken her with us. ” she paused for a moment. “I still can , find a way to taint her soul and kill her , making sure she’ll end up in Hell.” she thought out loud with an amused look. “So , what’s it going to be - are you coming with me or does your pretty girl gets to die ?”
    “No.” said Kai.
    “It’s really not a choice , honey. Turn it off.
    “No.“ repeated Kai.
    “We’ll have to do this the hard way then.” sighed Sybil and grabbed his head , closing her eyes. Kai could feel her digging in his mind , trying to find something else against him. He tried hard not to think about any of the moments he and Y/N had shared so the siren can’t modify them like she did to Damon’s memories of Elena but seeing his girl struggle to get free from the vampire’s grasp pulled one of the memories to the surface of his mind.


     "Interesting.“ muttered the siren , slipping into one of his memories. "I have to say - that must be one of your best works. Taking your entire family down with you. It’s one of the reasons Cade wanted you. Now why is this memory so important to you—”
Kai stood by the entrance , watching himself walking through the wedding disaster struggling because of the werewolf bite. Bonnie showed up a few moments later but he wasn’t paying attention to that , the other him was dealing with that. He was watching out one of the windows , knowing any moment now he’d see Y/N heading towards the barn. Her dress was covered with blood and her hair was messier than ever. Bonnie flew across the room towards one of the walls and Damon showed up shortly after. Kai sat at the podium , playing with a rose in his hands while talking with the vampire. A few moments later Damon left and Kai saw himself looking around with confusion in his eyes. Then he heard it - the sound of one of Alaric’s compressed air weapons. He turned in the direction of the sound seeing Y/N and then Damon laying on the ground with a piece of wood plunged in his back.
    “What ? No 'thank you'for saving your life ?” she said blowing a strand of hair out of her face. Y/N reached for his hand , instead Kai pulled her into his arms for a few seconds. “Lets go before he wakes up.”
    “One moment … ” said Kai  , biting his wrist and rushing to Bonnie’s side. “Don’t you ever forget this Bon Bon.You didn’t really think I’d let you die did you ?”
Y/N grabbed his hand and both of them run out of the barn. Somehow she was running faster than him and he had a hard time catching up with her. A few moments later he stopped abruptly making her stop too.
     "Why would you save me ?“
    "Because — you are
not this monster. You are good and – I can’t let the person I love die. ”
    “What ?” he asked with a hint of surprise in his voice.
    “I love you Kai. You are my future and you can push me away all you want but even if you don’t let yourself see it or feel in general — ” she said softy , placing her palm on his cheek. “ — I know that you see the same. It’s in your eyes — ”
Kai pulled her into his embrace , holding her tighter than ever unable to believe that after all the things he had done , including a few hours ago there was someone still believing in him , carrying about him and loving him.
    “I love you too Y/N.” he said smiling resting his forehead on hers.

     "Ohhh , I see.“ said Sybil , twisting his memory and replacing Y/N’s face with hers.
Kai looked at her with a small smile on his face , tucking in a lock of hair behind her ear.  Sybil smiled at him innocently and leaned in to kiss him.
    "Nice try. You are
not her and I am not as weak as Damon.” said Kai , snapping her neck in a few moments later. 


Sybil opened her eyes , clenching her jaw. The siren hadn’t expected the young heretic to be that strong. Damon had resisted her but she had been stronger , this was new.
    “Well , that was unexpected. Shall we try this again ?”
    “You can try all you want Sybil.” said Kai with a smirk. “I’m not Damon and I am not the monster you want me to be. I’m not this person anymore.”
    “Ahh that’s right.” said the siren smiling wickedly. “Because you love this fragile human girl and your feelings for her are stronger than your blood lust. Shame , she would’ve looked beautiful in a wedding gown. Damon — how would you feel about a snack?”
Damon grinned , purple black veins flashing under his eyes and his fangs sank in Y/N’s neck. The girl screamed , dug her nails in Damon’s hands kicked and tried everything to get free but it was useless. Kai took a step towards them but Sybil hummed another tune forcing him to watch as the life drained from the girl he loved. The only person who ever gave him a real chance even before the merge was dying and he couldn’t even move his finger.
    “Let her go.” said Kai. “I’ll — I’ll do what you ask just let her go.”
    “Kai , don’t. You are stron-ger than you think. Fight – it.” said Y/N struggling to speak.
Kai looked into her eyes , her lips forming four words 'I believe in you’.  He struggled , feeling Sybil trying to sneak into his mind again and get him to let go , but it didn’t matter - all he could hear and see was Y/N. His eyes closed for a moment and he found the strength to flick his wrist snapping Damon’s neck , raising his other hand pulling out Sybil’s heart out of her chest with magic. The moment the siren dropped on the ground his mind cleared and he ran towards his girl , biting his wrist bringing it to her lips.
    “Don’t you dare die Y/N.” said Kai smiling nervously. “Not now …. not ever.”
Y/N wrapped her fingers around his wrist feeling his warm blood trickle down her throat. A sigh left Kai’s lips and he caressed her face , placing a soft kiss on her forehead. Her eyes opened and she pulled herself up unitl he wrapped his strong arms around her.
    “You did it.” she smiled widely at him.
    “Only because of you. ” he said softly. “Though that wont last for long unless your buddies figure out a way to hold her down. Until then –”
    “– get in the car with me and we drive as far and fast away as we can.” she finished with a hopeful expression on her face.
Kai smiled widely at her. “Pick a destination , sweetheart.”

MASTERLIST - SMUT
MASTERLIST - FLUFF

I Can’t Wait to Hear You Scream PT. 19

Summary: You’re back in Alexandria with Negan.

XXXXXXXXX

“It gives me strength to have someone to fight for; I can never fight for myself, but for others, I can kill.” - Emilie Autumn -

You walked down the empty streets of Alexandria by Negan’s side.
The rest of Saviors that had followed spread out around the town.
You and Arat gave nods to eachother as you passed

Negan ocassionally glanced over to you with his trademark smirk, making you melt a little more each time he did.
Carl looked less that happy that the both of you were both back in town.

“Where is everyone, kid?” Negan asked as you made your way over to Rick’s house.

“I don’t know.” Carl answered back, brushing his hair over his eyesocket to keep it out of sight.

You approached Rick’s house and hoped that Michonne wasn’t here.
You weren’t in a mood to deal with any of her shit right now.
Negan banged hard on the door with Lucille.

The door opened as Olivia stood there, she had a grave expression as she saw Negan standing in front of her.
Negan smiled big, opening his arms as she moved out of the way.
As you walked inside, you could hear Olivia whispering to Carl as you passed by them.

“Where’s Enid?” She said in a panicked tone.

“She’s fine.” Carl answered back, following behind you.

Olivia turned to you and Negan as she shut the door.

“Great. Great. Fuckin’ great look at this fuckin’ place.” Negan said, setting Lucille down on the kitchen table as he fiddled around with some plastic fruit in a bowl.

Sometimes he did simple things like this that made you see the adorable side of him.

“Where’s Rick? I need to have a little fuckin’ talk with him.” Negan asked, tossing a fake apple onto the floor.

“Uhh, he’s out scavenging for you.” She said nervously.

Negan smiled and leaned back a little, “Cool. We’ll fuckin’ wait right here for him.”

“He went out pretty far. They might not be back, we’re running low on everything and we’re practically starving here.”

“You.. Starving? By ‘practically’ you mean not fuckin’ really, right?” He said using air quotes.

Olivia stood there looking to him as her lip quivered, you could see the hurt on her face at what he said to her.
She dropped her head, placing her hands over her eyes as she began to cry, turning away from both of you.

Negan turned around and shook his head in your direction, “These people do not know how to take a fuckin’ joke, do they? Seriously, no sense of goddamn humor.”

Negan ran a hand over his beard and sighed as he walked back over to Olivia.

“Excuse me.. What’s your fuckin’ name again?” He said, trying to be apologetic.

“Olivia.” She said letting out an exhausted breathe as she turned back to him.

“Right, Olivia, I am fuckin’ sorry about being rude to you just then. And it looks like we are going to be here for a good fuckin’ minute, awaiting your fearless leader’s return. So until then, I’m thinking it would be enjoyable to screw you.. Or if you’re into some kinky shit, maybe you’d like to watch me fuck (Y/N)’s brains out.” He said, placing a hand on your shoulder, keeping his eyes on her.

You placed a hand over your face, “Jesus.” You whispered.

She scrunched her face at him and narrowed her eyes.
You heard the hard SMACK as her hand landed across Negan’s face.
He was taken aback by it and kept his head to the side for a moment before looking back to her.
You suddenly took a big step closer as you were face to face with her, as you pushed her back and she gasped as you did.

“That’s okay, darlin’.” Negan said chuckling as he pulled you back behind him.

Olivia looked frightened as Negan leaned down with his face inches from hers.

“Just so you know, I’m about 50 percent more into this kinky fuckin’ scenario now.” He said giving her a wicked smirk.

“Why dont you leave her alone.” Carl said, beginning to get annoyed.

“Kid, pipe the fuck down.” Negan smiled as he grabbed onto your arm, making you walk away from Olivia.
She looked at you, wiping the tears from her eyes.
You shook your head and looked up to Negan.

“What makes you think I’d be agreeable to it?” You said in a low tone.

Negan rolled his eyes, “Then it won’t happen, darlin’. Jesus, you girls are fuckin’ sensitive.”

He let go of your arm and turned back to Carl, “We’ll just put our damn feet up and wait for my shit to arrive. It’s your turn to give us the grand fuckin’ tour kid.”

“A tour of what?” Carl threw his arms to the side.

“You’re fuckin’ house. I showed you mine, now I wanna see yours.”

Carl stared at the both of you and nodded reluctantly.

“Olivia, would you be a doll and make us some lemonade? I know that I left you some of that good powdered shit. And when you get back maybe you could make us some fuckin’ food too.” Negan said looking back to her.

Olivia stammered for a moment. “But I’m supp-”

“Make it!” Negan cut in an intimidating voice, “Take your time and make it fuckin’ good.”

She nodded and quickly left the house, slamming the door behind her.

“Well kid, show us what you’ve got.” Negan said, smiling at Carl as he picked Lucille back up.

“Okay.” Carl said as he began to walk into another room of the house.
He brought you both into a small room, the sun was shinning in through the window and it had a book self in the corner with hardly any books on it.
There was a palet on the floor with pillows.
It was obviously a bedroom before the mattresses were removed.

“Very nice. Who’s room is this?” Negan said as he walked over to the bookshelf.
He grabbed a book and looked over it.

“Dad’s.” Carl said softly.

Negan chuckled and held the book out, “Makes sense. If he’s fuckin’ reading ‘To Kill a Mockingbird’, no wonder he’s such a pussy.”

Carl’s cheeks flared out as he gritted his teeth hearing Negan talk about Rick.

“The book was already here.” Carl snapped at him.

Negan dropped the book to the floor and turned to Carl.
“Fuckin’ relax, kid. I’m busting your balls. Remember, we had that talk about how fuckin’ men like to joke around?”

Negan rolled his eyes and walked to the next room, not waiting for Carl to show him around
You entered a room which looked like it was another bedroom, it had carpet and a couple posters on the wall and a dart board.

“Now, I already fuckin’ know this is your room.” Negan said to Carl as he kicked his boots off.
He ran his feet over the carpet and held Lucille out like she was a cane and drug her along the carpet too.

“This is some nice fuckin’ carpet. And I think Lucille is enjoying it too. You know, I should have you cut it up and take it back with me.” He said, biting his lip.
He looked over to you, “Come on, darlin’. Run your toes through this shit.”

You kicked off your boots as well and ran your foot over the carpet along with him.

“Isn’t that fuckin’ nice?” Negan chuckled.

You nodded and glanced over to Carl who was grimaced as he watched.

“It is pretty nice.” You said looking back over to Negan.

“It’s like we’re a real fuckin’ couple. Here we are trying out goddamn carpet. It feels comfortable enough to fuck on, right?” He said seriously as he looked towards you. You blushed and shook your head playfully, “I guess it would be one of those try before you buy things, Negan.”

He smiled at you with a wink and slipped his feet back into his boots.
You bit your lip as you both locked onto eachother’s eyes for a moment.

He walked over to the dart board and grabbed the dart that was stuck into it and backed up and handed Lucille to you. You took her from his hands and watched as he carefully looked at the board to line up his shot and threw the dart as in landed into he middle of the board.
He let out a grunt and brought his hand up at his victory, looking back to Carl in a ‘I dare you to do better’ way.
But Carl didn’t say anything, of course.

“Well kid, what’s next?”

Carl sighed and motioned you both to follow him again and he led you both back into the kitchen.

Negan looked around and whistled, “Your dad must have got the fuckin’ fancy house because he’s the leader, huh?”

Carl shrugged to him.

Negan smiled and bent down over the sink, turning on the water on, “Must be nice to have a fuckin’ house again. No more living like goddamn cavemen.”

He ran his hand under the water before he turned it off.
Negan turned to you, flicking the excess water on you.
You rolled your eyes playfully at him and gave him a small push.
He cut his eyes to you and biting his lip as he grabbed you by the abdomen and pulled you to him.
That sexual tension was rising up in the both of you again.
It never left, but got stronger as time progressed.
You placed your hands on his chest as you looked up at him.
But you remembered Carl in the room and snapped out of it, backing up from his embrace.

Negan bit his tongue, realizing it too, “Yeah, not in front of the fuckin’ kid.”

Negan looked around until his eye caught another door to the house, he pointed to it.

“What’s in there?” Negan walked towards it.

Carl’s good eye widened and he tried to steer Negan from the door.

“Nothing. It’s just a laundry-”

But before Carl could do anything, Negan had already opened the door to reveal a crib where a toddler was standing in it.
You knew that it was Rick’s other child; Judith.

Negan’s eyes widened and he grinned big at her, “Oh my, who is this little fuckin’ angel?”

He reached out and picked up the little girl and she whined in protest at being taken out of her crib.
Negan held her in his arms, rocking her as he looked back over to Carl.
It was as if the blood had drained out of Carl’s face completely.
He was now a pale white and you could see the sweat dripping down his face as Negan held his sister.

But you looked at Negan in awe as he was holding her in his arms, and if you hadn’t already known you were in love with him before, there was no denying that you loved him now.
Seeing him hold her tugged at your heart strings in a such a way that it was undeniable.
It made your mind wonder and you thought what it would be like if you and he had a kid together.
You bit your lip at the thought as you continued to watch him hold her and make cute faces at her.
She began to giggle as he held her.

Negan exited the house with Carl following closely behind him.
You walked up beside him and he handed Judith to you, “Hold her for a moment, darlin’.”

Carl looked over to you, but seemed to be just a bit relieved that you were the one holding her instead.
You gave him a small nod letting him know that Judith would be okay as he sat down in a rocking chair.
You knew he hated you along with the rest of them and you didn’t care, but they needed to know you nor Negan would hurt a child.

Negan slipped his jacket off and threw it onto the back of one of he chairs, he reached back out and took Judith again as he sat down.

You leaned against the banister of the porch, just watching Negan be so kind to Judith.
He sat her on his knees she smiled up at him reaching out to his face with her hands.

“She is just fuckin’ precious.” Negan said looking at Judith.

Carl gripped the arms of the chair, watching Negan nervously.

“I like it here. Shit, I might just have to stay here. And I thought about what you said earlier Carl.” Negan said while he bounced Judith on his knee.

“Thinking about what?” Carl asked.

“That it’s fuckin’ stupid to keep you and your dad alive. Why the fuck should I try so hard, I mean, maybe I should just bury you both and move into these suburbs myself.” He said in a cooing voice as he kept looking at Judith, giving her a kiss on the forhead.

Carl grimaced and stood up, “Then do it. Just leave my sister alone.”

“Do you really fuckin’ think I would hurt this little lamb?” Negan said, shooting his eyes angrily toward Carl.

“I don’t know. I’ve seen what you’ve done before.”

“Yeah, you have, kid. But I wouldn’t lay a fuckin’ hand on a child.” Negan growled back.

Negan stood up and handed Judith back to you.
She began to get fussy at the voices rising and you rocked her in your arms to calm her down and she clung to your neck.

Olivia came walking up, carrying the lemonade, she looked shocked when she saw you holding Judith.
You smirked and thought if only she had been her a few minutes earlier, then she’d really be surprised.

Negan clapped his hands together, “Olivia, my dear. You are just in goddamn time. I thought I was gonna have to go fuckin’ looking for you.”

“Why is Judith out here?” She asked Carl nervously.

Carl shook his head and walked back into the house.
Oliva set the tray on the table, Negan took his glass and pulled out a chair in the dining room and sat down, propping his feet onto it.

Olivia approached you cautiously, “I can take her now.”

You nodded and handed Judith to her.

“(Y/N) is fuckin’ excellent with her. I didn’t hear the kid cry fuckin’ once when she was holding her.” Negan said taking a sip of his lemonade.

You smiled and could feel yourself blushing at that compliment.

Olivia ended up making food as Negan stood over her closely making sure she didn’t try to poison it. When it was all done, everyone sat down and there was silence at the table for a while as everyone ate, Olivia and Carl mainly picking over the spaghetti.
Carl just stared off into space and Olivia held Judith, facing away from all of you.
Negan ran his hand over his bearded face again and looked to Carl.

Negan sighed, “Does your dad have a fuckin’ razor? Since we’re gonna be fuckin’ waiting I’d like to shave this shit.”

Carl nodded silently, “In the cabinet in the bathroom.”

Negan turned his head to you as he stood up and motioned you to follow him as he walked to the bathroom down the hall.
You could see Carl staring at Lucille from across the table, she was propped onto the chair in front of him.
You quickly made a grab for her.

“Don’t even go there.” You said to Carl.

He looked surprised and narrowed his good eye at you, “Go ahead, take his side.. He’ll probably kill you once he’s done with you too.”

“I am, and he wants me around for the time being, so that’s good enough. Besides, we’re all living on borrowed fucking time anyway. I’ll live it how I want.” You said in a seriosuly tone.

You went into the bathroom where Negan was, he was filling the sink with hot water and had a straight razor on his hand.

“You left Lucille in there. He was eyeing her pretty fucking hard.” You said laying her on the back of the toilet tank.
Negan smirked as he dipped the razor into the water.

“Yeah, I kinda figured. That’s half the reason that I left her in there.”

“You wanted him to take her?” You said, giving him a confused look.

“Darlin’, I wanted to see if he was badass enough to actually try to fuckin’ come at me with her.”

You squinted your eyes at him, “I don’t want that to happen.”

He chuckled and brought the razor up to his face, you could hear the scraping noise it made against his skin.

“You’ve got the fuckin’ gun here, babydoll. Would have been pretty goddamn easy to stop him.”

“I know. But, I don’t want it to have to come to that.”

“You’ve gotta get over this shit, (Y/N).”

You sighed, “Yeah, I know. It’s easy to shoot someone when you or I are being threatened.. Or when you offer other women the chance to be a wife.” You crossed your arms.

Negan smiled as he ran the razor down his face, “I should probably fuckin’ offer everyone that. Then you’d knock them off faster that I could fuckin’ ask.”

When Negan was done he wiped his face off with a towel and threw it back down onto the sink.
You stared at him for a moment, you hadn’t seen him with a clean shaven face before.

“Whoa. It’s different seeing you shaved.” You said still staring at him.

He raised an eyebrow and looked back at you, “What? Don’t fuckin’ like it?”

You shook your head, “No. That’s not what I mean, I do like it.”

“Really now?” He said in a seductive tone as he backed you up into the wall, placing his hands on either side of you, blocking you in.

“Yes, sir.” You smirked back.

“Sir? I fuckin’ like that.”

He leaned down and grabbed your face, placing a kiss on your lips.
You raised your hands up to run them over his shaven face.
His skin was smooth and you could feel it under your fingertips, but you also missed the way his beard felt against your skin.
As you were beginning to get deeper into the kiss you could hear voices in the house other than Carl or Olivia’s.
You both pulled back, looking at eachother curiously.

“Sounds like we have some fuckin’ company.” He said, smacking the wall in annoyance as he turned quickly to grab Lucille.

Rosita standing in the kitchen, talking to Olivia and Carl, neither of you needed to hear what she was saying though.
You knew she was grilling them about why the saviors were here again.
Sheglared at you and Negan as she saw you both entering the room.

“Well thanks for fuckin’ coming by neighbor. Here to give me a fuckin’ house warming party.. Or a goddamn lap dance maybe?” He said, looking at Rosita’s attire a little too hard.

You looked away as to not have to see the way he was staring at her.
You were under the impression that you’d never get used to his lustful eye for other women.

“What are you doing here?” Rosita growled to him, crossing her arms.

“I came to have a fuckin’ talk with Rick.”

“A talk about what? You were just here, we don’t have enough shit to give you right now, you took everything last time.”

Negan smiled as he licked his bottom lip and walked a little closer to her.

“I’m sorry. I don’t think I ever learned your fuckin’ name.” He asked pointing to her with Lucille.

She looked at Lucille with a grimace and looked back at Negan, “It’s Rosita.”

“Rosita.. Sweetheart, it isn’t any of your fuckin’ business why I’m here. I’ll take whatever the fuck I want.” Negan said as his tone rose.

Rosita gritted her teeth, “Rick isn’t here.”

Negan nodded, “And that’s exactly why the fuck I’m waiting for him, darlin’. Now, why don’t you fuck off and go find some shit for me.”

Rosita gave him one last look before she left the house.

“Where the fuck is your dad, Carl? Because I’m pretty goddamn tired of waiting.” Negan said as he sat back down at the table.

“I don’t know when he’s gonna be back.” Carl shook his head.

You glanced out the window to see Arat standing outside, you walked over to the door to go outside with her.

“Where are you fuckin’ going, darlin’?” Negan asked, looking over to you.

You opened the door and turned back, “Going out to get some air.”

“Whatever the fuck makes you happy darlin’.” He said, taking another drink of the lemonade.

You walked out onto the porch where Arat was.

“Hey.” She said as she turned back to you.

“Hey, what’s going on?”

“Just guarding the area, you never know when these fucks might plan to ambush us.” She had a cigarette in her hand and took a drag out off of it.

You pursed your lips, “Yeah, that’s not far from the truth.”

“So, I heard we’re here because Randy got guns from this place.”

You shook your head, “It’s fucking crazy.”

“Their inventory showed we had all of their guns after we got the hidden ones back.” Arat said, taking another drag.

You crossed your arms, “Well, shit can always be taken out of inventories.”

She nodded, with the cigarette poking out of her lips, “You’ve got a point there.”

Minutes later a man came walking up to the house with a bottle of liquor in his hand, dressed like he was going to a job interview.
You raised an eyebrow as he approached the porch.
It was Spencer, you had never really talked to him much when you were here, because you never really liked him.

“Can I help you?” Arat said, raising an eyebrow at him.

“I’d like to speak to Negan.” The man said with a soft smile.

“Well, that’s not gonna happen.” Arat snapped back.

You stood firmly beside her, “What the fuck do you want, Spencer?”

“I just wanna talk to him.” He protested.

“Well, it’s not gonna fuc-”

“Ladies, don’t be assholes now. Let him come up.” Negan cut in.

He was standing in the doorway, holding Lucille in his hand.

You both moved to the side of the stairs, not really wanting to, but obeying Negan’s word.

Spencer climbed the steps slowly towards him, while Negan eyed the bottle in his hand.

“Shit, is that for me?”

Spencer chuckled, holding it out, “Hi, we haven’t officially met yet. My name is Spencer Monroe.”

Negan smiled and took the bottle from him, “Well Spencer. You are the first neighbor to bring me a goddamn gift. Why don’t we have a fuckin’ seat?”

They both sat on the porch, drinking the burbon that Spencer had brought over as some sort of peace offering, but you weren’t buying it.
you were sitting on the railing of the porch in front of them, just listening to them talk.
But you and Negan kept your eyes on eachother most of the time.
He must have known that you didn’t trust Spencer, because after Spencer said anything, Negan looked at you to see your reaction.

“You know what would make this better? Some fuckin’ eight ball.” Negan breathed as he leaned into the chair.

“There’s a pool table in the garage across the street.” Spencer said smiling as he pointed to an adjacent house.

“Shit, Spencer. You might be my new bestfriend.” Negan chuckled.

You rolled your eyes as Spencer smiled and ate up what Negan was saying to him.

Negan saw that too, but it wasn’t you rolling your eyes at him, so he didn’t mind. He found your eye rolling sexy, even when you were doing other towards him.

“But it’s too nice of a fuckin’ day to be inside.” Negan said, taking a drink, then he stood up and grabbed his jacket, “I have a fuckin’ idea though.”

Spencer looked at him curiously as Negan motioned him to follow. He got up from the chair and followed Negan out into the street.
You walked out with them and Negan was ordering some of his men to drag out the pool table and they did.
When everything was done there was a pool table now out in the middle of the street.

The Saviors and some of the residents began to gather around Negan and Spencer watching them play the game.

“I could never do this kinda shit with Rick. He would just stand there and give me that fuckin’ side eye like he always does.” Negan shook his head as he leaned on his pool stick.

“I actually wanted to talk to you about him.”

Negan leaned over the table, lining up his shot, “Go ahead then. Talk to me about Rick.”

“I get what you’re trying to do. I won’t say that I completely agree with everything, but I know that you’re trying to rebuild and make people contribute for the greater good. But Rick Grimes does not have a good history of working well with others.” Spencer said in a seriosuly tone as he spoke to Negan.

Negan hit the ball, making a loud CLACK and you could see Spencer flinch just a little at the sudden noise.

“Is that so?” Negan said in an uninterested tone as he took another shot.

Spencer walked around the table, “He wasn’t the original leader here. My mother was, but she died not long after he showed up. Same with my brother and father.”

Negan leaned against the pool table and looked at Spencer, “So, you’re saying everything was fuckin’ peachy until Rick showed up and made you an orphan? That’s the saddest shit I’ve heard, but lucky for you, he’s not in charge.”

Spencer breathed, “It doesn’t matter. He has a terrible ego and he will find a way to screw all of it up. That’s what he did to my mom.”

You could see the familiar dangerous look begin to spread on Negan’s face as he took a drink from his glass and walked closer to Spencer. It was the look any kind of predator makes when it’s getting ready to bite into the throat of its prey.

“And what exactly do you think should be done about it?” Negan said, shifting his eyes to Spencer.

“I’m like my mother. I know I could be the leader that she wanted, that’s what this place, and you, need to make things work smoothly.”

“So, you’re saying that I should fuckin’ put you in charge?” Negan smiled.

“We would be much better off.” Spencer said, smiling back at him.

Negan set his glass down, “I’m thinking Spencer.. I’m thinking about how Rick threatened me and he clearly fuckin’ hates me. But the fact is, he’s out there right now gathering up shit for me, that way I don’t hurt anyone that lives here. He’s swallowing his goddamn hate and getting shit done. It takes guts. But then there’s you.” He said as he leaned back over the table to take another shot.

Spencer swallowed and you could see he looked confused, “I’m not sure I understand.”

“How could you fuckin’ not? You’re the guy that waited for Rick to be gone, so you could fuckin’ sneak up here and get me to do you’re fuckin’ dirty work for you, because you wanna take Rick’s place. So, I have to ask, Spencer. Why not just fuckin’ kill Rick yourself and just take over?”

“Wha- No- I-” Spencer stammered in nervousness as Negan got closer to him.

“Do you know what I’m thinking, because I have a pretty goddamn good guess. It’s because..” Negan gave an evil smile to him, “You don’t have the fuckin’ guts.” He whispered.

And before anyone could react or move, Negan brandished a large hunting knife and stabbed Spencer in the abdomen and cut him deeply from one side to the other.
Everyone including you gasped as the blood squirted onto Negan and the ground and as Negan backed up, Spencer’s intestines spilled to the ground.

Negan smiled and looked at Spencer as he fell to the ground bleeding out.

You covered your mouth and looked away briefly.

“How goddamn embarrassing is that? Looks like you had the goddamn guts after all. I’ve never been so fuckin’ wrong in my life.” Negan yelled to everyone as they looked at him, terrified that he would do that to the rest of them.

Negan held out Lucille, “Someone clean this shit up, it’s fuckin’ up my shot, it’s laying in the goddamn way here. Does anyone wanna finish this fuckin’ game?” Negan glanced to you, “You wanna play babydoll?”

You were still in a bit of shock, but you shook it off and nodded as you walked over to him. As you were making your way towards him there was a loud gunshot.
For a moment you thought you had been shot, because of how close it sounded, for a moment you thought Randy had made his way back and shot you.
Everything seemed to be in slow motion as you saw Negan’s face twist into the extreme anger you had rarely seen.
There was a bullet hole in Lucille.
Negan’s voice sounded far away, but you could still hear it as he screamed, “What the fuck!? What the fuckin’ fuck! You tried to goddamn kill me!?”
As you saw it, the rage grew inside you as you suddenly understood.
You turned around to see Rosita behind you holding out a gun, and you instinctually lunged for her and grabbed the gun and pried it from her hand as you kicked her hard in the shin, making her go down to the ground.

Arat came up behind you, holding out a knife.

“No!” You screeched to her, pulling out your gun, holding it to Rosita’s head.

She backed up from you and your rage was growing as your eyes burned into hers, you pressed the barrel into her temple wanting desperately to pulling the trigger.

Negan paced back and forth before he stopped to look down at Rosita, “You fuckin’ shot Lucille!”

“She got in the way.” Rosita said with a straight face.

Negan leaned down to pick up the bullet casing from the ground, “Look at this. This motherfucker is homemade. I wanna know who fuckin’ made this little baby.”

You continued to press the gun into her head, your anger only growing. You were shaking with rage at the thought of Negan actually being shot.

Negan breathed angrily, “(Y/N), babydoll, take that gun away from her face.”

You didn’t move thought, it was almost as if you didn’t hear him, you were still firm in your position and you didn’t want her getting away from you.

“Fuckin’ do it now, darlin’!” Negan said, his voice growing louder again.

You shook even more now and slowly lifted the gun from her head, you leaned up a little, but still had the gun pointed to her.

Negan leaned down to Rosita, “Lucille’s beautiful motherfuckin’ goddamn fuckin’ smooth surface is never gonna be the goddamn same again, so why should yours!?” He bellowed. He leaned back and took a deep breathe and held up the bullet, “Unless you tell me who fuckin’ made this shit.”

“It was me.” Rosita said calmly, looking back up to him.

“You see.” Negan said as he leaned back again, “Now I just think that you’re lying. You’re really gonna fuckin’ lie to me right now?! It’s a shame that (Y/N)’s gonna have to blow off your pretty head.”

“It was me.” Rosita said again as she leaned up and pressed her head hard into the barrel of the gun.

Your trigger finger itched more violently now, just wanting to pull it.

“Oh, look- at- you! You’re such a goddamn badass!” Negan said in a mocking tone.

He breathed and waited for her to say something else, but she didnt.

He smiled, “Have it your way. (Y/N), do your fuckin’ thing, baby.”

You smirked back to him and turned back to her.
She looked at you without even flinching, you had to give her credit for that. You cocked you head at her and she glared back. “Do it.” You pulled the trigger quickly and the blood went flying as most of it landed back onto you. You closed your eyes hard to protect your eye from the shattered pieces of skull that went flying.
You let out a hard breathe and you slumped back into the pavement.
Your breathe was still heavy and you were shaking more than ever, the adrenaline had completely overtaken your body and it felt like it would never stop.

All of the residents went wide eyed again and gasped as they saw what had just happened.
You could hear the sobs from Olivia as she stood on the porch with Carl, but she didn’t know how lucky she was, because it was almost her.
You could hear Rick’s screams as you all turned to see him running up the street carrying an injured man by his side, he passed him off to one of the other residents and ran up to you.

“We had a deal!” Rick shouted in his raspy tone.

“Rick! Look everybody it’s Rick, he finally fuckin’ made it back!” Negan said cheerfully as he looked at Rick.

Rick breathed shaking as he looked at the two dead bodies on the ground and saw you covered in blood next to Rosita’s body.

“Rick, how about a thank you? I know we started this relationship with me beating the fuck out of two of your friends. And we’ve never fuckin’ sat around and braided eachother’s hair and told stories, but how about some goddamn credit? Because I bent over backwards to show you how reasonable I am. Your kid snuck to my place on one of my trucks and proceeded to kill some of my men and I brought him the fuck back home without one goddamn scratch.” Negan said as he threw his arms out.

Rick suddenly looked back to Carl on the porch and narrowed his eyes at him.
Carl cowered back somewhat at the glare Rick was giving him.

“Oh!” Negan still looking at Rick, “And I fed the little fucker some spaghetti! ..And I also took out someone in your community who wanted me to kill you and put him in fuckin’ charge and the one (Y/N) just shot tried to kill me just a minute ago, but only ended up hurting poor Lucille here, so she fuckin’ deserved that shit.”

Rick turned back to Negan and didn’t say anything, he blinked at looked at Negan almost as if he was confused. He dropped his head momentarily and nodded before he looked back up.

“Your shit’s waiting for you at the gate. Just go.” Rick growled to him.

Negan smiled, “Of course, I’d fuckin’ love to take my shit and go, but I need to have a goddamn talk with you first and now I also need to know who the maker of this bullet is.”

Rick hesitated for a moment.

Negan rolled his eyes, “(Y/N), I think another needs to be taken out, babydoll.”

You held out your gun to a random man and he flinched and begged you not to.

“It was me!” A man called out.

Eugene began walking up from the back of the crowd, “I made it.”

Negan walked up to him, “You?”

“It required a casing and some powder-”

“Shut- the- fuck- up.” Negan said as he emphasized every word, “I believe you.”

Negan walked back into the middle of the crowd and you dropped your gun from the man you were holding it on.
You wiped some of the stray blood off of your face.

Negan held Lucille up to his face and took in a deep breathe, “Lucille, give me the goddamn strength.” He dropped her back to his side and turned back to Rick, “I will be relieving you of your bullet maker. So, now that that’s one fuckin’ problem solved, maybe we can figure out this goddamn gun issue.”

“What gun issue, you have the guns.” Rick said back, approaching Negan.

“Apparently not, Ricky. You see, the guy that attacked (Y/N) is still out there and it’s come to my fuckin’ attention that he was here. And he got some of your fuckin’ guns too.” Negan growled back to him.

“There are times when people are passing by and they stay here. If someone got some-” Rick protested.

“I don’t give a shit. He was here and he got guns, now that’s a very big fuckin’ problem for me, Rick. His name is Randy. Now, do you fuckin’ know him?“ Negan cut him off suddenly.

Rick looked at the ground for a moment again before he slowly nodded his head.

“Yeah, I fuckin’ figured that you did.” Negan said, sucking his teeth.

“But we didn’t give him guns. If anyone did it must have been Spencer. He was the one that hid the guns last time. He must have taken them from the inventory” Rick said slowly, brushing his hair back in distress.

You had called it about the inventory deal. Spencer had erased the guns Randy got from the inventory and gave them to him. So, Spencer must have been in deal with Randy about taking out The Saviors

Negan chuckled, “Well fuck, look at that. I took care of two fuckin’ problem children, didn’t I? Where the fuck is Randy now?”

Rick shook his head, “I- I don’t know. He was here for a day, then he just disappered.”

Negan took in a breathe and propped Lucille on his shoulder, “You know what, Rick? I’m gonna take your fuckin’ word for it, because I’m a reasonable fuckin’ man. But I’ve got the feeling that this is far from over. Now, you all have yourselves a good goddamn evening, because who knows when I’ll have to come back and kill more of you.”

He turned and walked away from Rick, ordering everyone to pack up and move out.
Everyone began leaving and Arat drug Eugene off.
Negan came over to you as you stood still, waiting for him.
The both of you were bloody.

“C'mon, darlin’. Let’s go get cleaned up.” He said to you softly.

Taglist: @ambroselunatic @robert-d-j-bernthal @suileidead @beautifulfound @66psychotic99 @oceaninwinter @wadeyourebarelyalive @concertxjunkie

Imagine : “We arent together anymore, remember ?”

One month. One month since the break up and you were still hurt, Stiles was too but you believed he wasn’t. 

You always thought that bad things would less hurt with the time but this time it was something else. It was your relationship with Stiles. Time wouldnt help and you didnt know what to do.

Sometimes, you had panic attack. You used to be stressed a lot with the pack’s stuff and school so you were used to be stressed, who is not stressed these days ? But now it was so much more. The panic attacks were violent and it always came out of nowhere. Sometimes, it was happening during the night, waking you up, completely breathless. And nobody knew it except your mom and your best friend, Lydia.

Since she knew, she tried to make you leave the house a little bit more. “You can meet a new guy so you could change your mind” She said, but you werent ready to meet anyone yet, even if it was just for «fun».

Not like Stiles.

You werent sure if he was seeing someone new but you were sure of something, a lot of girls were around him. And the girl who ruined everything was still stuck around him, and it was killing you because she was the reason of your break up and Stiles didnt seem to mind. 

At least, thats what you thought.

And here you are, today, in class, not able to move after the professor’s speech.
He put you and Stiles together for a work, as if god was against you. It was already hard to be in the same class as him. And not to mention you were seeing him after school when the pack would do a meeting.

“Maybe it’s a good thing.” Lydia said “You guys seriously need to talk and you know it.” 

You said nothing, first because it was useless. Why would you want or even need to talk to him when you both knew the truth. The girl was hitting on him and they got close, there’s nothing else to say. Second, if you tried to speak, you would burst out in tears. Then it was the end of the day and you wanted one thing, be at home in your bed. 

But like you said earlier, god is against you. You felt a hand taking your arm gently and you had an idea of who it was, and sadly you were right. You turned around and met this beautiful brown eyes, the ones you used to get lost in. 

“Hum… Guess we will spend a lot of time together then..” You couldnt help but cut him off. “We already are. With the pack and stuff like that.” 

He looked at you and he seemed to be hurt by what you said but you werent sure. He couldnt be this sad, after all, he was the one who broke your heart. 

“Stuff..” He repeated but more for himself. “Thats what we are for you ? Some kind of stuff ?” He said angrily. You opened your mouth and closed it. You werent expecting him to react like that. 

 So he still care about us ? 

“Of course I dont !” You paused. “You really want to talk about it now ?”

He sighed and shrugged. “I don’t know.. I mean, we have to talk and since we have to work together, I thought we could do it after school. If it’s alright with you ?”

You simply shrugged and walked to your car, Stiles following you. What could you say ? You wanted to hate him but you couldn’t help it, you loved him.

It was silent between the both of you in the car but you finally made it to your house.

“We have only less than one hour to work today.” You said, trying to sound normal but you didn’t know if you were happy to spend one hour with him or not.

“Oh.. Can I know why ?”

You bit your lip, not really knowing how he would react. You sighed and spoke while preparing your stuff to work.

“Nothing much. Just.. something planned.”

You looked at him and he was raising an eyebrow, clearly waiting for more. “And ?”

“Why do you care anyway ?” You said angrily. “You clearly don’t need me. For anything.”

“You’re wr-”

“Oh no Stiles.” You cut him off. “You’re the wrong one. You can’t blame me for thinking that you don’t love me and need me like I do. You can’t fucking blame me for what I’m thinking or feeling because all of this is your fault okay ?” The words were coming by themselves and you couldn’t stop. “At first, I was thinking that it was my fault if you left. That something was wrong with me so you cheated on me !”

“ (Y/N) .. I-”

“No. This is my time. Now I know it wasn’t my fault. And you know what ? I’m seeing someone today. I have.. It’s kind of a date. You see ?” You laughed. “You’re not the only one who can have fun.”

He shook his head, he couldn’t believe it, he didn’t want to. “No..” he whispered. “We need to talk. You.. You can’t have a date.”

“Why not ? You had one month to do that and you want to do this today ? It’s not going to work.”

“I love you. You need to believe it.” He said confident, looking straight at you. “I want you to trust me again. I know It seems like I cheated but-”

“Don’t say it. Don’t say it wasn’t your fault. Don’t say you love me because it’s not true.”

“Yes it is ! And I’m not letting you go with some dick !”

You laughed. Maybe it was nervous or maybe it was just his reaction.

“I do what the fuck I want Stiles. We aren’t together anymore, remember ? So If I want to go on a date, I will.”

Of course, you already knew the date wouldn’t go that far because you were still into Stiles. But you would never tell him.

Am i the only one who thinks that phil is like less happy now…. Like i dont know i may be COMPLEETLY wrong but doesnt it seem like sometimes durring like comicon and collabs with other youtubers or something he seems to have to push to get into the conversation like because hes sutch a sweet person that maybe theyre not taking him seriously, and he just doesnt laugh as much as he use to. Maybe its because dans laughing more so i dont notice it as much but i feel like phil maybe isnt as happy like somethings up. When they were makeing tabinof he was really tired and i started noticing this but people were just saying that he was just really tired and its still going on. I know alot of things are happening right now but if this is whats going on, or something like this is going on, phil i hope you phil better ;) *incerts more puns to make him feel better*