sometimes i ignore capitalization

you can’t take me it with you

with you, i actually would go anywhere.  i have been thinking about travel.  i like it, in theory, but long flights, distant countries, unfamiliar currencies, unknown paths, intimidate me.  oh, i know i would enjoy it.  but i can think myself out of anything.  you wouldn’t let me.

i prefer not to be the one who handles things.  (i prefer not to be a leader.)  i would much rather assist.  (i will step up if i see a need.)  i dislike planning.  (i like to know where i’m going.*)

push me.  for the love of there and back again, get me out of my comfort zone.  i cannot get enough of something new, but i will not motivate myself to go get it.  i told you, i can think myself out of anything.  with you, i would go.  with you, i would feel safe.  with you.

let’s go to spain and mangle three languages.  i’ll buy you a notebook and read hemingway aloud.  let’s go to france and pretend to know about wine.  you can buy me a croissant and we’ll turn up our noses at the macarons.  let’s go to scotland and smoke pipes on a loch.  we’ll buy whiskey and i’ll ask for a cannon as a wedding present.  let’s go to russia and freeze in the red square.  i’ll kiss you for making my dreams come true and we won’t be cold any more.

let’s go to everywhere.

take me with you

* “and how to get back.”
  “and eat first.”

may 13

it’s always been you.
(i didn’t know it yet.)
you’re lana songs at midnight,
you’re the heavy air of summer nights with the windows open,
you’re finding out the singed end of a candy cig tastes like marshmallow.
you’re window-frame shadows.
you’re the quiet in my head and the music in my ears and the carpet digging into my elbows.
the breeze whispering on the back of my neck is you.
the ache at my waist is you.
the quiet in my head
the quiet in my head
the quiet in my head
is you.
i want to show you
the lights of tijuana
(you’ve probably seen them).
i want to sit with you
and smoke pipes on the roof
(we might have to share).
i want to tell you
(how many girls have tried).

to pour everything out -
i don’t know you.
(i do.)
(i don’t.)
(i do.)
(i don’t.)
i - think i might, could, probably will, possibly do - love you.
i can’t speak first.