sometimes i have a joke i want to make but am not sure where to post it

People desperately want Cole to be a bad person and I don’t know why

He called black people “cannibals”?? 

I’m sure most of you band wagon haters don’t even know WHERE this claim come from (hence me calling you band wagons) so let me help. 

You all need to STOP twisting his words. When he tweeted this it wasn’t a BLM movement. In fact I remember the march and it had NOTHING to do with BLM nor was it against Bernie. One of the people in charge of the march said that the only reason they marched while Bernie was campaigning was because they knew there’d be cameras around and they just wanted to get air time for their cause. Regardless numerous people were hurt because of their actions; namely children were hurt, which was AWFUL. Regardless of what your cause is you have no right to march in anywhere and injure children for whatever reason. So YES that was Cannibalism and no it was not a BLM movement. 

Cole has shown his support MULTIPLE times for the BLM movement and has said multiple times that saying being pro BLM doesn’t mean you’re saying that all lives don’t matter.


Bitch where? Were you a part of the relationship? Can you even find the so called tumblr post that she supposedly said this? Some of y’all know NOTHING about this. You just hear it from the grapevine and jump ship like brainless followers. 

Why would you think it’s okay to hold Cole accountable for something a possibly bitter ex wrote on tumblr??? DO you realize how serious it is to just label someone an “abuser”. That’s not a fucking joke and not something you should throw around just because you heard it from this twitter page you follow. 

I’m a creative fucker and I could literally sit here and write a whole essay on how your dad, or your bother or Usher or some random person abused me but it’ll be all FALSE. Writing it on social media doesn’t make it true. Y'all need to stop acting so foolish and gullible.

You know what’s interesting and paradoxical? While the court never believes abuse victims, social media believes them too much. There’s no balance. Victim shaming is real and unfortunate but let’s not act like SOMETIMES they are not telling the truth.  

How many cases have there been where the *white* woman admits years later that she was inherently lying about being abused years ago. 

So I’m sorry if I’m not going to sit on my my ass and judge some one based on some random crap I heard online. 

For all we know Cole probably converted her from Lays to Doritos and she’s calling that emotional abuse.

You people just like to take one small thing a celeb says, twist it to make them look bad (WITHOUT DOING YOU RESEARCH EVEN THOUGH GOOGLE IS FREE) and then everyone just jumps on the bandwagon. You are all jobless, pathetic, hateful people. You’re BULLIES; you think you’re being these great millennials but you’re just lying bullies. You pull this crap on all these celebrities and tarnish their image as if its as normal and easy as breathing. Its not fair and its not right. I can’t even imaging being a celeb and having to deal with all this crap; half of y’all wouldn’t last a day with your thin skin and fake woke ass. 

I am sick of the tumblr/social media expectation that celebrities are supposed to be your idea of “woke” or that makes them a bad person. News flash: there’s a real world out there where people are living real lives. No one has time to search all over tumblr to find out the right way to say this or that. 

At the end of the day WE ALL say things that can be taken the wrong way. Its not because we’re trying to be mean, we mean well, we just don’t know any better because NOT EVERYONE KNOWS EVERYTHING AND NO ONES PERFECT. (<- @ all you people calling Lili Reinhart “homophobic” when she’s continually shown her support for the LGBTQ community)

There’s just this cumulative desperation I’ve noticed in the tumblr society where you all try to take who a celebrity is an twist it to fit into what you want them to be. 

They say one thing that gets distorted and all of a sudden you all think you have the right or the power to erase all the good they’ve done and label them bad people. I’m so sick of it. 

GET OFF your high horses because NONE of you people are perfect. And I’m sure there are multiple things you say in just one day that someone somewhere in this world would take the wrong way and deem YOU to be a shitty person.  

At the rate you are all going ALL celebrities are shitty people. Heck WE ARE ALL SHITTY people. 

What Soul? - Peter Parker x stark!Reader

Words: 1318
Pairing: Peter Parker x Stark!Reader
Featuring: Tony Stark, Steve Rogers
Warnings: kinda cliche af
Requested by @betty234
Hey! I Saw your requests are open. Could you please write a Tony Stark x reader, or maybe Peter Parker x reader one shot, with the whole soulmate au where they have tattoos that symbolizes each other and he already likes her. Thank you so much”
Summary: In this world, soulmates are strange. The tattoos only appear after you have officialy met your soulmate; meaning some people never get theirs. They can also change what they look like depending on what is going on during the day. When your tattoo gets mistaken for a hickey, you have to explain what’s going on, but only find out it is much deeper then you could have ever imagined.
Authors Note: i havent actually written a soulmate au before, so this was fun! After the april fools joke today, I thought it would be a good idea to post a real imagine xD


Peter Masterlist. Masterlist.

“Hey, Steve,” You sing-songed as you walked into the common room where the American flag himself was sitting. “I have a question for you.”

“Shoot, kiddo,” Steve put down the book he was reading and listened to what you had to say.

You showed Steve your computer. “I’m learning about World War Two…”

Steve laughed, “You know my experience was much different than what they might be asking you.”

You shrugged and agreed with him, but hearing his stories of those days were always interesting. “I actually had to help Peter with this topic last month,” Steve nodded, and your face turned to confusion. You didn’t really know many people your age, considering you’ve been homeschooled all your life. It was just easier for your father to keep track of you by having you home all the time, and it became much easier once the Avengers became a thing. “You know, Spider-Boy. Your dad is always helping him out with his powers.”

“Oh, right! The one that’s always super awkward around me,” You nodded, a little laugh following. You scratched your neck, moving everything ever-so-slightly out of place to reveal what was on your neck.

“Hey! What the hell is that?” Steve moved your hair out of the way and turned your neck so he could see what was hiding. “Oh thank goodness, it’s not a hickey. I would have killed you!”

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Patater Week - Day 2

Feb. 7- Proposal/Wedding Day/Wedding Night (1.5K)

“I’m nervous,” Kent says.

“Change your mind?” Alexei teases, only feeling a tiny bit worried. He doesn’t think Kent will actually bail on him, now that they’re both in their suits and the hall is surely packed with their families and teammates. Bittle would cry if anything happened, Alexei thinks. And then skin both of them alive.

But then again, Alexei did see Runaway Bride twice with Snowy, when he was first learning English and someone had the brilliant idea that the best way to learn is to watch all the classic romcoms. Snowy, it turns out, is a big fan of Richard Gere. Kent doesn’t look like he’s ready to bolt, but he did seem skittish, and in the movie, Julia Roberts had been very skittish.

“No, never,” Kent says, taking Alexei’s hands and rubbing his thumb over Alexei’s palms. His hair is already a little mussed, the untamable cowlick threatening to pop back up. “Not about you. I know I’m an ass about a lot of things, but you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me.”

“Good to know,” Alexei says, letting out a breath of relief. “You tell me now, then what you say for vows?”

“Oh, God,” Kent laughs nervously. “Oh man. That’s—that’s the thing. The vows. In front of a bunch of people. I could probably do it. Maybe. You wouldn’t happen to be carrying Xanax on you?” He chuckles and scratches the back of his neck, but his jaw drops when he sees Alexei rummage in his pockets. “Wait, I’m just joking. I don’t actually—what the hell is that?”

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Komm Susser Todd Intensifies

It’s with a completely not-heavy and emotionless heart that I announce that loltaku is basically done.

There are a lot of reason for this, which I will now go over.

One is that it’s just been long enough. It’s been about 4 and a half years and honestly I feel like it’d be sad to be doing this for five years, and while 4 and a half is a petty distinction, it’s still a distinction, and that’s what matters! 

The internet isn’t really the same anymore. Everyone is moving away from the ‘perpetually salty ripping on stuff’ formula of content generation (thank god) and this blog is a relic of that era. It’s also a relic of me being younger and a lot angrier, which I’m really not anymore, so a good chunk of the initial motivation is gone.

Second, is the simple fact that not only is Kotaku barely the same site (almost all it’s contributors are now different and amateurish), it’s actually now much, much worse than it was when I started. 

Originally Kotaku was generally mediocre with a tendency to post really stupid things, which is what made it such a good initial target. Now everything it posts is stupid, irrelevant, hyper-sexualized, or a combination of all of those things. It’s just a bad site. How am I supposed to make fun of a clown? Should I shit on it’s floppy shoes? How about it’s tiny car? It’s just not going to work out. 

Kotaku isn’t the same site and from what I’ve been told by former contributors they’re barely paying it’s new contributors more than they could make at McDonalds so I’m not even sure I could say anything more pointed than what they feel working for the damn site.

Third, gaming journalism in general is pretty much a shambling corpse at this point. Like, for real.

Joystiq is dead.

Game Trailers is dead.

IGN is laying people off.

Vice Gaming tanked and rebranded to Waypoint which is kind of floundering (hint hint guys more articles about ddlg kink and pokemon fucking ain’t gonna pull you out of that cesspit)

Playboy cut a bloody swath through it’s gaming section (did you know Playboy had gaming coverage? Ha haaaa how could that ever fail.)

Polygon isn’t doing so hot and is trying to reconfigure as a personality site, which considering they also employ Arthur Gies and Ben Kuchera is not so much contradictory to that goal as it is wreaking nuclear holocaust on said goal.

The old model of a site with an office and a dozen contributors + PR staff + tech staff just isn’t viable anymore. Those times are done, and the momentum carrying these sites along in age where they’re obsolete is finally slowing down and they’re going to die.

Hell, E3 isn’t even industry only anymore. Everyone streams every major announcement cause they want you to see directly. The day a game comes out you have access to hundreds of hours of footage. There just isn’t a need for these people anymore. Especially when you consider even the more academic side of things is being covered by people like Gaming Historian, Slope’s Game Room, MisterCaption and MatthewMatosis. It’s over. So why keep talking about them?

This blog will be left up as an archive of bad articles and also shit I’ll probably really eventually wish I hadn’t said (betting pool on how long before this post is on that list heyooooo)

You can follow my typical tumblr blog fair at @thefeelofavideogame where sometimes I also pretend to have insightful things to say but mostly it’s just going to be shitty jokes, or on twitter at mrfeelswildride



The five times James gave Lily flowers and the two times he didn’t; or, How Lily Evans fell in love with James Potter.

read on AO3


On her first Valentine’s Day at Hogwarts, Lily received lilies from five different people. She loved them because she knew her friends and that one boy from Hufflepuff had good intentions. She knew they thought it’d be cute to give Lily the flower she was named after. Everyone always thought it would be.

After going through it for so many years, Lily should have seen it coming and warned them. Perhaps she could have worn a sign around her neck starting a week prior that read: I do not like lilies.

But despite how unoriginal the flowers were, she carried them around proudly all day. They were beautiful after all. And she may have woken up too late to shower that morning so their sweet perfume was welcome.

That night she sprawled on her back on the floor by the fire with Mary and Marlene. They giggled about all the couples they had seen that day and the boy who had given Mary chocolates. Suddenly, James Potter’s face was looming above Lily’s.

“What on earth are you doing, Potter?” she exclaimed, bolting upright and nearly smacking her forehead against his. He muttered something incoherent before dropping a flower into her lap and bolting toward the boy’s dormitories.

“What was that about?” Marlene asked. Still lying down, she and Mary couldn’t see what James had given Lily.

“Nothing,” Lily said as she slipped the perfect pink peony into the billowy sleeve of her robes. How he knew her favorite flower was a mystery to her. But even more mysterious was the heat spreading across her face and the pounding of her heart. Stupid James had given her some sort of prank flower that made her feel sick. That had to be it. There was no other explanation.

Still. She kept the flower between the pages of one of her transfiguration books.

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Some of you have noticed I haven’t been posting much lately, so I thought I’d share this here. I know this is pretty out of the ordinary for me, but I’d like to get extremely personal for a minute. This week my grandfather–the man who raised me, who taught me to ride a bike, who used to sneak me cookies from the kitchen, who checked my tire pressure every time I came over to visit, who pushed me on the back yard tire swing for hours at a time and never complained–passed away. It is impossible to express in words what his loss means to me, even more so since I am currently an ocean away from the rest of my family. Instead, I’d like to tell you a little bit about my grandparents because, while they were a regular part of my life, their lives were quietly extraordinary.

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anonymous asked:

do you have any tips regarding writing john, jade, dirk, jane, or jake in pesterlogs?

The biggest tip I have for general pesterlog writing is to go find an actual canon pesterlog for whatever character(s) you’re going to write and read it, first. It REALLY helps with settling into the voice. Pesterlogs aren’t just specific quirks, it’s the way each character uses their quirk to change how their sentences flow and the kind of pool of vocabulary they each pull from. They each kinda have a different internet language. I use mspawiki’s links under the character portraits to quickly find conversations when I’m doing this cause it lets you quickly look up pesterlogs by act and characters involved.

other than that, for Dirk you have to remember that Dirk always wants to sound smart and capable and put together but his uncool nerdy side is constantly slipping through the cracks and undermining this goal. Also any time Dirk Strider has An Emotion Of Any Kind in a pesterlog he tries really hard to smooth it over with sarcasm or rambling joking (a lot like Dave but a little more self aware – Dave just lets himself drown in his own bullshit, Dirk is aware that he is about to drown and desperately looking for the ladder out.) And whenever he actually does snap at someone (he does it with Jake and Roxy sometimes off the top of my head – I seem to recall he’s generally more gentle with Jane overall) you can tell he always feels like immediate fried shit about it and even about being angry in the first place and all of his negative emotions are paired with like 18 flavors of guilt.

Jane is fun to write because she has a really nice, pleasant TONE to her pesterlog chat voice but she’s mad about half the time about something and is constantly struggling with like no I have to be cool I am collected and polite and in control versus WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS NERD I’M TALKING TO RIGHT NOW EVEN SAYING/DOING??? She tries so hard to keep a tight lid on everything and the dichotomy between Jane’s actual emotions at any given time and the pleasant way she’s trying to force her expression of them are what make her pesterlogs so funny. Oh and obviously sometimes the bottle overflows and explodes. Also you have to remember Jane outwardly is very sure of her own intelligence and understanding of the world to the point where she often misses very obvious things because she feels she already knows what is going on and takes situations for granted. Something I’d write her as actively Working On post-canon (along with the bottling things up too much stuff.) 

And Jake, I think a lot of people struggle with or are intimidated by writing Jake because of his vocabulary quirk, but when I write Jake I just try to keep in mind who he IS, what persona he’s trying to perform as, because Jake in pesterlogs is always trying to put out whatever persona he thinks is most what the person he’s talking to wants to see. Some flavor of movie hero. What’s fun about Jake’s quirk is that he uses those old timey words/minced oaths in a way that like, makes it seem like he’s adverse to swearing (like, say, equius) but then he’ll just let fly a sentence with both a minced oath AND flagrant fucks or shits or what have you without a single care and it’s like BOY WHAT? lmfao god I love Jake. It REALLY helps to re-read some of his actual writing in canon. One thing I see a lot is that people just assign him British slang which isn’t quite right – if you want a more accurate vocab list to pull from for Jake look up like early 1900s American slang, it’s more the flavor. The other big thing with him is that you actually have to structure his sentences such that like, he doesn’t use punctuation a lot so he has this like long run on rambly tone punctuated with short clipped sentences, it gives him a really specific kind of manic barely controlled tone, which is VERY APPROPRIATE because Jake English is like five seconds from flying apart in every conversation. 

I’ve never written john or jade in a pesterlog so imma not expound on them but I hope this helps a little 💪

Dating Jung Jaehyun...

Originally posted by oh-prankster

Boyfriend Jaehyun ahead…

  • This guy is a true boyfriend and best-friend. All that you need.
  • Has the sweet “boy next door” vibe.
  • The kind of guy that your family and friends pray will marry you.
  • Whenever he comes around, you’re bound to smile, as if it’s a subconscious reaction to seeing him. Jaehyun’s able to light up your day like that. 
  • As a lover, he will always have your best interests at heart.
  • You guys will be the couple that makes everyone else jealous as soon as you enter the room together.
  • Jaehyun won’t let you sleep at night, because that’s the time when he likes to goof around.
  • Expect for soft laughter to fan against your ear when he spoons you in bed.
  • Lots of silly pillow talk, which will most likely be about crazy topics like “aliens” or “would you rather…” questions.
  • The both of you will be told to “shut-up” by an irritable, mumbling Johnny at some point past 2am.
  • This man is a dork (as is all of NCT), so his silliness is inevitable.
  • You calling Jaehyun by his 50 different names and confusing people in public, like????
  • His presence is so…comforting? There’s just something calming and sophisticated about Jaehyun.
  • Very encouraging boyfriend. Always makes sure to support you in whatever you choose to do. If you love it, then he’s gonna learn to as well.

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anonymous asked:

Sine, Sine! I'm sorry to bother you, but do you have any good tips for writing 616 Tony! I just love your characterization so much :)

Oh, boy, an opportunity to talk about my fave! I was actually sitting here thinking, gosh, I hope someone asks me to write meta about my favorite characters sometime soon! And then you did, so thank you, anon! (And thank you, I’m glad you like my characterization.)

Uh. This got long.

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9,100 - 10,000 Follower Prompt Batch Special
  • “I was trying to keep it a secret.”
  • “I don’t know how you managed to throw a party in my own house without me noticing, but props to you.”
  • “Stop getting us kicked out of grocery stores.”
  • “Look, I can’t even touch my toes.”
  • “Something tells me that you’ve been keeping information from me.”
  • “We’re wearing matching outfits. Don’t make this any more embarrassing than it already is.”
  • “You picked me to do mission impossible. This is all your fault.”
  • “I know my limits, but everyone keeps pressuring me to do better.”
  • “I have exactly three coins and two lint balls in my pocket, I assure you.”
  • “So long as I get to my goal, it doesn’t matter what I have to do.”
  • “It’s not that I won’t, it’s that I can’t.”
  • “We could care less.”
  • “How inconvenient. I guess I have to deal with you.”
  • “Messing with you is always a little bit fun.”
  • “Stick to the plan and we’ll be fine.”
  • “I don’t want to admit that I wasn’t listening to any of it.”
  • “Don’t look now, but they took our ride." 
  • "Maybe wearing bright colors on a stealth mission isn’t a good idea." 
  • "You are in no position to argue with me right now.”
  • “You stress me out. One bad choice at a time, please.”
  • “How’d we lose? I thought we had that!”
  • “I can help, but it’ll cost you.”
  • “What was I supposed to do?”
  • “I’ve been wanting to dance with you all night.”
  • “Can you give me a chance to prove my innocence?”
  • “I worked really hard on that and you’re just going to throw it away?”
  • “I stopped listening after you said you needed my help.”
  • “What am I to you? I want you to be clear about this.”
  • “Your agony is music to my ears.”
  • “I have no idea where I’m going. I can only hope it’s the right way.”
  • “If I have to suffer watching your favorite movie ten million times, you can watch mine at least once.”
  • “I always feel dread in my stomach when I see you plotting.”
  • “At this point, I ask myself why I even hang out with you.”
  • “One of these days, you’re gonna light my house on fire.”
  • “If there’s one thing you’re not allowed to do, it’s crawl on my ceiling like a spider.”
  • “I’ve practically mastered this piece of machinery.”
  • “There’s no easy way to say what I’m about to tell you." 
  • "You make it so hard to care about you.”
  • “I’d be done with all of this by now if I weren’t so tired.”
  • “Unless you have a crown on your head, I’m not listening to you.”
  • “It’s been a couple hundred years since I’ve had a friend.”
  • “Reckless and careless are just two of the many words that can be used to describe me.”
  • “I thought, if anyone, you’d be happy for me.”
  • “There’s always a problem according to you.”
  • “I saved my last dance just for you. Come on.”
  • “Don’t eat the snow. You don’t know what’s touched it.”
  • “I’ve been saving my love for the right person.”
  • “There’s no stopping me now.”
  • “Watch these smooth moves. I’ve been working on them for months.”
  • “Shapeshifting is not an easy ability to master, okay? I’m trying.”
  • “Are you ready to fail? I’ve got this in the bag.”
  • “Look at me, darling, and start taking notes.”
  • “I started looking for aliens as a joke and then this happens.”
  • “It was always you and I together, but I need to grow independently.”
  • “I don’t want people to associate me with you.”
  • “It’s a shame that you won’t be able to go.”
  • “Don’t think you can get away with that kind of behavior here.”
  • “What went from me trying to get money out of the bank turned into some sort of robbery that I hadn’t been planning on doing.”
  • “Stop worrying about what will go wrong. It doesn’t help you in any way.”
  • “Do you wanna explain to me why pasta sauce is all over my kitchen?”
  • “Yeah, like I haven’t heard that joke before. ‘Need a hand’? Ha, so funny. My sides hurt from laughing so hard.”
  • “Your looks are attractive. Maybe not to them, but certainly to me.”
  • “This just goes to show why you shouldn’t press large red buttons.”
  • “I don’t remember ordering an AI. Do you think they got the wrong house?”
  • “You have no business exploring my floating castle.”
  • “I got lost in the clouds. Literally.”
  • “Sometimes I can see them in the mist or the snow. Sometimes the rain, too.”
  • “I’ve been trying really hard to be patient with you.”
  • “I can count on all ten of my fingers on why I can’t stand you.”
  • “Magic has been a part of your family for many generations and I was sent to help you.”
  • “So, what, you have the ability to make dolls come to life? That’s creepy.”
  • “You had an eyelash on your cheek. Sorry.”
  • “I started to piece together that I was more like your bodyguard than your friend to you.”
  • “I’ve never seen you look so blue. What’s got you down?”
  • “I’m not the kind of person who can comfort others, but I can try.”
  • “I can’t believe you decided on that name for your dragon.”
  • “You should be offended. I’m offended on your behalf.”
  • “I can see you staring at me.”
  • “I thought I had let that fire die out ages ago.”
  • “If I’m the tree, you’re the sun and the water.”
  • “Waxing poetic is about the only thing I do for you in your time of need, sadly.”
  • “I think you enjoy mixing up quotes, because you know it irritates me.”
  • “Sometimes I hope that I can find you when I look up at the stars.”
  • “All I need you to do is cover me while I sneak out.”
  • “Don’t you know it’s dangerous to hang around here? You might run into creatures like me.”
  • “I don’t recall asking for your opinion and yet here you are.”
  • “It’s nice to look back on all the progress I’ve made.”
  • “If you don’t think you could support your child no matter the possibility of who they become or what they are, you shouldn’t have one. No ifs, no buts, no ands." 
  • "It’s so cold, I can’t feel my hand. Can you feel it for me? You know, to make sure it’s still there?”
  • “I’m tired of trying to make you laugh at the expense of my own feelings.”
  • “Don’t ask me how I got stuck. Help me get out of here.”
  • “I’m knitting wing covers for you. What color do you like?”
  • “I’m starting to think you aren’t worth the time and devotion I’ve given you.”
  • “You don’t have to smile if you’re not happy.”
  • “It’s unfair to ask me such a question.”
  • “I knew you cared! This blanket didn’t make its way around my shoulders by itself when I was sleeping.”
  • “When I said I wanted a roommate, I meant a living one, with a job." 
  • "All you need, my friend, is a little spark to help you.”
  • “I feel like you all have your lives figured out.”
  • “Just where would I be able to hide the world’s biggest gem on my person? These pockets can barely fit chapstick.”
Rebelcaptain fic: all the rumours say

For @rebelcaptainprompts #8: agony, fingers and shiver 

   Sometimes, she had to stop and wonder briefly about how the hell she had ended up here.  

   Somehow, Jyn Erso had gotten through the initial bloodshed and trauma of being dragged bloodied and broken, but ultimately alive, off Scarif. She had worked her way through the appropriate length of time it had taken for the screaming night terrors to work their way down to just the occasional nightmare. She’d been a shell of herself for so long that she’d even had to relearn who she was without aliases to hide behind. But she’d had Cassian at her side. Somehow, that had made it ok.

   She’d told herself that she’d stayed with the rebellion because she believed in the cause. But really, she had just believed in him.

   (“Are – are we ever going to talk about this?” he had gasped once, face buried in her shoulder as she was pressed against the bare wall of his room. Their hands had fumbled, everything new and awkward and thrilling and Jyn had desperately kissed away the answer.

   Someday, she had thought.

   I promise, someday).

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anonymous asked:

Could you do something where ian does a content cop on the reader and they end up meeting up and becoming friends after?

So uh I got carried away with this one but here we goOOO,,

So far, your first Vidcon experience could have been a bit better. But since it was also probably your last, you really didn’t give a shit anymore. No harm, no foul.

It wasn’t that it had been boring or lacklustre, because it was quite the opposite; meeting your favorite Youtubers all at once, and being able to talk to them as equals despite them being far more popular than you would ever be, had been exhilarating; the panels you’d been on so far were well-received; and, well, there was a lot of food and alcohol, which meant it was easier for you to dull the pain of the past ten days.

When you’d arrived at the convention center, the bright SoCal morning and the happy crowds had lifted your spirits. Perhaps most people wouldn’t have watched the new Content Cop. Maybe iDubbbz, even with 4 million subs, wasn’t someone the community put much stock in. And even if he was as insanely popular as he seemed, maybe nobody would recognize you. Who would really care?

Mere minutes later, your hopes were dashed by the tattooed young woman who openly winced when you gave your name, and said “hey, good luck” as you walked away with your badge. You had a sinking feeling you’d need that luck desperately today.

Now after hours of sidelong glances, booing, open fits of laughter upon hearing your name, and choice words like “attention whore”, “liar” and “cheating slut” being flung your way at random, you were outside, slumped over a table like the town drunk, sloppily stirring your Long Island iced tea and directing an unfocused gaze at the sunset. It was a bit quieter out here with less people to pay attention to you. Hell, after today it would be a miracle if you ever went out in public again. Since the video had been released, you’d managed to stave off any crying-you knew that crying would be letting him win. But today had been the closest you’d come.

That was the infuriating thing about all this-any reaction you gave would be an automatic win for the Ian Carter camp. You couldn’t cry, you couldn’t try and criticize his points, you couldn’t complain, or even make an “apology” without being completely shit on. And you certainly couldn’t turn off commenting or make your Twitter private without being vilified even further. All you could do was watch your stats plunge on Socialblade and read terse emails from sponsors dropping your channel one by one. Your career was ruined, and the Internet rejoiced in the schadenfreude of another successful installment of Content Cop.

The worst part? He’d been right. About everything. You’d lied to your viewers, you’d been caught cheating on your fiance, you’d said terrible things. Deep down, you were certain you deserved this. Every death threat and hate-filled message you’d gotten just confirmed what you already knew. The death of your channel was a given now, and you knew that eventually someone at your school would get ahold of the whole mess, and lord knows people have been dismissed from universities for less. In essence, nothing in your life was certain anymore.

You only stopped moping when you realized you were sipping on air- your Long Island was empty. Standing up was a bit of a struggle, but you made your way inside to the bar without incident. At the moment, your plan was simple: Step one, drink as much as humanly possible. Step two, black out or maybe die. It was convenient and foolproof. Excellent.

But the universe wasn’t inclined to have anything go in your favor-why start now?

Once your new drink arrived, you hadn’t quite found the fortitude to meander back to your secluded outdoor table yet, so you were leaning on the counter with your forehead pressed against the tall, icy glass, letting time drip by. The first thing that brought you back to reality was a familiar and slightly obnoxious voice growing closer.

“You boys seen Chef?”

Cacophonies of stifled laughter followed-stomach going cold, you clumsily lifted your head to witness what was surely just a bad dream. Surrounded by a small entourage, the infamous iDubbbz stood a ways down the bar, laughing as his Aussie friend-Max?-interrogated innocent bystanders about a critically-acclaimed Jon Favreau movie. You wanted to run so badly, sprint all the way back to your hotel, but in your current state all you could do was shrink back, hope for the best, and listen.

“Hey, cunt, lemme get you a drink,” Max slurred, clapping his friend on the shoulder-everyone on Youtube knew what a drunk Maxmoefoe looked like, and you were no different. “T celebrate.”

“I’m fine, man, I promise.” Ian smiled and let Max lean on him to regain his balance. “I’m a happy boy.”

“Come on, Ian!” That was Filthy Frank. Duh. Well, George, Joji, whatever, the cute one. “It isn’t every day that a video gets 20 million views. I think everyone here kinda expects you to be trashed by now-ayyy, Philly deFuckass!”

Sure as shit, you recognized the one and only Philip deFranco walking up to the group, immediately bringing Ian in for a hug.

“You hit a fuckin’ home run!” He said after ordering a few drinks. “You’re in my thumbnail for tomorrow, actually. You wanna come back on the show sometime? We’d have fun-you seriously wrecked that girl. Felix wouldn’t shut up about it at lunch.”

Ian shrugged and allowed Phil to shove what looked like a rum and coke into his grip. “All I did was compile what was already out there, you know? It’s whatever.”

Whatever. Whatever. His words ricocheted through the fog in your skull like a shockwave. They were talking about your reputation, your career, your life-and it was just whatever. This stringbean praying-mantis looking motherfucker had made something in the neighborhood of forty thousand dollars so far off of your pain.

Rage sure made it a lot easier to walk.

Before you realized what you were doing, you’d stormed over to the group of men, and Ian hadn’t even registered your presence when you flung your full drink into his face, even letting the glass slip from your hand and hit him in the chest. The split second of shock from everyone around gave you the opportunity to deck him right in his smug face. He reeled backward, and the room exploded-Max and Phil both grabbed you by the arms, impervious to your thrashing, while George pulled Ian away, fussing over his face and clothes. Everyone else had frozen, though for you the room was swimming.

“Yeah,” you shouted, “better run, bitch!”


“You’re free to go.”

Bleary-eyed, you squinted at the policeman standing in the doorway. “Seriously?”

“Bail was just posted.”

Now that was a mystery. You hadn’t called anybody, and no friends had been with you at Vidcon.

The officer handed you a bag with your belongings and led you out into the too-bright lobby. When you saw who was standing by the entrance, you stopped dead. Okay, either this was a dream or you’d been drugged, because Ian freaking Carter had no business standing there all bruised and disheveled and looking at you with a completely unreadable face.

“He’s the one who posted it,” said the officer as he handed you a form to sign. “And the assault charge is getting dropped.”

Head reeling, you murmured your thanks and turned back to where Ian was. Walking up to him was like dragging your legs through cement.

“Thank you,” you said quietly, looking down at your shoes.

He just sighed. “Let me give you a ride.”

You didn’t have the energy to resist.

It took ten minutes for the silence in the Jeep to break, but Ian finally spoke up.

“I don’t blame you,” he said. “Honestly, you did the same thing I would’ve done.”

“…that doesn’t mean it was right,” you finally replied. “I’m sorry.”

“I’m sorr-”

“Don’t,” you cut him off, voice sharp. “You don’t need to pretend to be sorry. You didn’t do anything wrong. Like you said, all you did was compile information that was already out there. Besides, I deserve it.”

Another sigh.

“No,” he finally said. “Look-I stand by what I said. I don’t make shit up and I don’t lie the shit you did. But at least half of my fanbase is a bunch of fucking degenerates. I’ve seen the shit they’ve been saying to you and a lot of it is actually fucking disgusting. The people telling you to kill yourself-you don’t deserve that. And from what I heard a lot of people treated you like shit today. I didn’t make the video with the intention of sending an army of shitstains after you. So yeah, for that part, I am sorry. It just…got out of hand.”

You noticed that Ian’s phone was vibrating in the cupholder. 4 messages from Maxine. He reached out and shut the screen off.

“Probably wondering where I went,” he said, more to himself than to you.

“You didn’t tell him where you were going?”

“Didn’t tell anyone. This whole shebang is gonna be fucked enough, I’d rather not give Keem and Scarce more ammo than they already have.”

For the first time, you paused to consider the situation. You really had never expected that Ian would be this…considerate. This guy was calm and level-headed in a way that was never portrayed online. After the hide-tanning you’d received from the same guy just last week, the “real” Ian seemed like an entirely separate person.

“Didn’t realize I punched you that hard,” you said, laughing a bit nervously. He cracked a smile too-the bruise was deep purple under his eye, fading down his cheekbone into mottled lavender and red.

“You could do MMA or some shit,” he joked. “Really fuckin’ clocked me.”

“I promise I don’t make a habit of punching people. Not even gay retards who deserve it.”

Ian actually laughed-it was sweet and nervous and genuine in an awkward way. You definitely hadn’t heard that on camera. “Is that so? You think you could take me when my guard’s up? I’ll kill you.”

“Ooooh, feisty lil’ thang!”

In the most surreal few minutes of your life, you two laughed the rest of the way to the hotel over the stupidest shit. Ian was delighted at how much of his content you knew, and the tense mood evaporated until he pulled into the parking lot. For a moment, you just watched some moths dancing under a too-orange street lamp and pretended he wasn’t there.

“Soooo,” you both said, making you crack up again.

“Y’know,’ he said, “You did some fucked up shit, but you aren’t an asshole. Uh…no hard feelings, and we move on?”

“…I’d like that.”

“Neato, speedo. So, this never happened.”

“No siree.”

Presumably, “this never happened” didn’t mean that he would DM you two nights later just to show you some shitty meme. Nor did it mean that you two would be messaging over Skype every day for months. It certainly didn’t mean that he would call you drunk while he was in Australia and it was 4 in the morning at home in Los Angeles, just to say he missed you. And in no way did it even remotely mean that two years down the line, you’d be watching a movie in bed in your new apartment, eating homemade pizza,  your dog curled up between you, and Ian would turn to kiss you and say, “Roasting you was the best decision of my life.”

Neither of you were thinking that. But hey, you were being honest at the time, late at night under buzzing orange lights, and that’s what counted.

Email Tips

I had to send a ridiculous amount of emails to my teachers last semester because of reasons and these are some tips for getting the best results.


Look at the syllabus first, some teachers will put in it exactly how they like to receive emails.

Put your first and last name and the class in the subject, also try and put something that explains what the email is about.

EX: Hailey Last name, Poli Sci M/W 9:30, Absence

Never leave the subject blank. It almost always guarantees a delay because teachers and faculty will respond to ones with subject first.

If you know the course code for the class, throw that in too. Sometimes teachers are more familiar with that then the actual class days and times.

If you are emailing a member of staff in Admissions, Financial Aid, Registrar, etc., always include your student ID number in the subject, and what it is regarding.

EX: Hailey Last Name, 123456789, Schedule Change

They will appreciate it so much.

Know your audience:

I have a teacher who has a PhD in Psychology but does not like to be called by Dr. He prefers for people to call him Frank and to be really casual with him.

When I send an email to this professor I am more casual with him.
My first email was more on the professional side, but once I saw how he responds, I wrote my emails to match his tone. Very laid back and very concise. I got more friendly responses and even joking, and I think that helps to build a rapport with teachers.

I had a teacher that was extremely professional and wanted as much information as you could provide in an email, even had a part of his syllabus about how to email him.

It will differ from teacher to teacher. Start out with a professional type email, but adjust accordingly once you see their style and can see how they like to be addressed.

Actual Email:

Always try to be cordial. Even if you have a laid back professor, never be rude or antagonizing if you can help it.

If the email is about an absence, explain as much as you are comfortable with about the absence and let them know you are sorry you will be missing class. If you have the syllabus, let them know that you are aware of the assignments and will be keeping up with the work so as not to fall behind.

If you need something specifically from the teacher, apologize for the inconvenience and ask if they can email you the material when they are able to. Also, if it is an extended absence, let them know when you will return. Try and give as much notice as possible. If you know you aren’t coming at 2 AM, then go ahead and send the email. Don’t wait until the actual class time, if you are able to notify before then.

If you are only missing this one class, but can maybe make another one of their other classes at a different time and are willing to do so, ask for permission. Most of the time they will say yes and will like the initiative, and this could also clear out the absence you would have gotten.

If you are missing a deadline or a test, make sure to ask for an extension or make up test time. DO NOT ask for the last two if it is 100% clear in the syllabus that they do not do make-ups or extensions. It usually just irritates them.

If the email is about a grade, make sure you can back it up. Have concrete examples as to why you think you deserve a different grade.

Do not email teachers asking when a grade is going to be posted or something is going to be given back unless it is well past the expected return time. Sometimes they forget. Most of the time they are just busy.

If your reason for emailing is about an explanation for an assignment or just about assignment details, make sure it is not explained in the syllabus first. Nothing will annoy a teacher more than asking for a clarification that could be found in a rubric or syllabus. It just makes you look lazy.

If the information is not in the syllabus or rubric, or not explained to where you can understand it, let the teacher know. Explain your problem or what you need, let them know you looked at the syllabus/rubric and it either did not have the information or wasn’t clear enough. They will appreciate the honesty and the fact that you looked first.

If you are in a group assignment and you are doing all of the work, let the professor know. Either they will find a way to help you, almost always in discreet manner, or when it comes time for grading, the grade will reflect it. There is nothing wrong with letting a teacher know you are having an issue. Someone should not benefit from your hard work, if they didn’t help.

If you are emailing staff members in Financial Aid, Registrar, Cashier, Bookstore, and Admissions, be extremely detailed. 

These people don’t know you and your situation, you need to explain it as much as possible. If it is something like a schedule change make sure you have course code  numbers, they aren’t going to look it up for you.

Always end the email with thanking the person for their time, help, or consideration based on what the email is about.


Don’t have some weird inappropriate signature with lyrics or anything like that. Always end with your First and Last name. Sign off with Thank you about 98% of the time, if something is more appropriate you will know.

If it is something where the person you are emailing will need to know your student ID, include it again with your signature.


It can be a little scary to email professors. I am one of those people who still doesn’t like to make adult calls if I can help it. The most important thing to remember is to be courteous and clear in all emails. You will get the hang of it and be a pro in no time.These tips might not work for everyone, but they work for me. I’ve been emailing professors multiple times a week for the past 3 semesters and I always get good results and responses.

EDIT: @lilstudybug made an important point in the reblog about student email. I swear I thought it was in there.

ALWAYS use your student email when you can. The teachers usually already have your email as part of their class roster, it is professional, and would most likely be responded to before any other type of email.

HOWEVER, if you lose your password/login and are waiting for an IT person, which can take a while, have a back up “safe” email.

My personal email was created for job searching way back when, so it is my first name and last name and an initial.

If it is an urgent matter and you can’t reach them through some other manner, have a respectable email and email them from it. Also, apologize for having to email them from that email, and that you will do so from a student email in the future.

I have had to email my teachers from my personal email before. It is not ideal, but it is not the end of the world!

anonymous asked:

Yo bring on the Shiro and Lance head canons because I am all ears my pal

It took me a while to figure where this came from, but oh yeah, in my tags on that one post I said I wanted to write more Shiro and Lance hc, haha. I was referring to h/c, but no problem. I don’t usually do headcanons because I prefer to just make them into a fic, but here are a few Shiro & Lance Hurt/Comfort Headcanons, or HC HCs.

1. They’re not there yet in canon, but in a little while Lance is going to realize that he needs to tell someone when he’s feeling insecure and inadequate, and Shiro ends up being his go-to guy. Hunk and Coran are too unconditionally supportive, so he can never tell if they’re just saying something to make him feel better. He doesn’t want Pidge and Allura, and especially Keith, to even know that he feels less than awesome sometimes, that their sharp comments sometimes cut deeper than they intend. So Shiro it is. Lance will tell him when he starts to question his place on the team, when he feels like he really messed something up in training or on a mission, when he’s having a bad day or a bad week and it feels like everything is just going wrong all the time and it’s all his fault. Shiro listens quietly and intently, every single times, just lets Lance pour it all out, and sometimes it’s a lot. And then Shiro takes his turn to talk, countering all of Lance’s negative thoughts and emotions with the truth. Sometimes, yes, Lance did make a mistake somewhere, or should have taken something a little more seriously, or could have worked a little harder in training. Shiro is honest about that. But he’ll also tell him the parts where he did a good job, where he’s improving, where he didn’t notice that he did something RIGHT and HELPFUL. He tells Lance how important he is, how they couldn’t do this without him, how he’s improving all the time, and he’s allowed to not be perfect. Being scared and insecure sometimes does not stop him from ALSO being a hero. And Lance believes Shiro the way he can’t believe anyone else, not even himself.

2. When Shiro has a flashback or an episode, everyone has their own way of trying to help. Keith immediately breaks him out of it, violently if necessary, and then tries to make him feel safe by guarding for threats. Hunk is nervous and awkward, but will make special food items and engineering projects specifically to make Shiro’s life easier. Pidge gets him to share funny stories about her brother and father to help him remember the good times. And Lance will just…be there. He’ll sit or stand next to Shiro wherever he is, sometimes not saying much but just making sure that Shiro isn’t alone, that there’s always something to remind him that things are different now. He’ll chatter about inanities to fill the silence so Shiro won’t be alone with his thoughts. He’ll bounce and spin and do calisthenics to provide a visual distraction. He doesn’t know how to discuss trauma, doesn’t even know where to start, but he’ll make sure that Shiro has something else to think about. Shiro does find it to be a huge relief, even when it gets to be a bit annoying because it’s just SO MUCH. Lance is trying, though, everyone is trying, and Shiro appreciates it.

3. Lance is like a toddler sometimes in that he seems to have endless energy, energy for days, and when everyone else is dragging he’ll still be talking and joking and laughing at his own jokes and prodding everyone else to keep up. But when Lance runs out of energy, it is GONE. He has NOTHING left. It seems to happen at random times, too, like he builds up this gigantic battery and then it drains all at once. And when Lance is tired, he just falls asleep. Once he pretty much passed out against the wall of the training room when they took a brief break, and everyone was freaked, thinking he hit his head too hard or something, but no, he was just tired. He also has a tendency to fall asleep on Hunk or drape himself over Pidge’s lap. Sometimes she’ll pick up her laptop when he starts to topple over on her, then perch it on top of him and keep going. But once the team gets comfortable with each other, Shiro is Lance’s favorite. When his energy runs out, he’ll gravitate to him like a homing pigeon returning to its nest, his eyes half shut, lanky frame drooping. Lance is not really aware of what he’s doing when he’s sleep-drunk, so he’ll do things like just climb into Shiro’s lap, lean on his chest, sigh, and go to sleep. Shiro was a little weirded out the first couple of times, but now it’s just…a thing. He’ll smile softly and wrap his arm around Lance’s back to hold him there and keep going if they’re in the middle of something, or other times he’ll just carry him to his room. Sometimes Lance is embarrassed afterward, but more often he’ll just shrug, like, what can I do? Sleepy me likes Shiro’s lap. It’s comfy. And no one can argue with that.


Please see Laffy’s drawing. It is coincidence that Saboala son and ZoSan daughter are both wearing blue in this drawing. It means nothing. …………..OR DOES IT.

Okay, some One Piece babies/children “headcanons” incoming.

  • It’s still unclear whether or not Law and Luffy are going to have a second child. Law argues it’s impossible to determine that the second child is going to be a boy but Luffy argues that he’s decided. DECIDED!
  • Laffy doesn’t properly understand the concept of babies. Although she does know how babies are made (male sperm, female egg cell and all that jazz), she doesn’t quite process the fact that she can’t have a tiger-fox hybrid baby brother because according to Papa, “Torao can make centaurs if he wanted to”. 
  • As for the grandpa thing, Corazon is Cora-ya and Shanks is Aka-ya because Akagami Shanks and that name is just too fricken long. Garp is Grandpa. Sengoku is Grandpa. Dragon is Dranpa because Sabo’s son mashed up Grandpa and Dragon. The name stuck and Laffy started calling him that, too.
  • Laffy can draw. Her parents says so. End of story.
  • I was discussing with @iamaxiezze​ about ZoSan daughter and we were talking about naming her Matcha, Mochi or Miwa. Matcha is green tea. Mochi is a sweet japanese rice cake and is also a fricken character in Monster Rancher, which now makes me hesitant. Miwa, on the other hand, is written with the kanji of “Three” and “Harmony”. A combination of “THREE” and “HARMONY” results to a cute baby. I am trying to make a very clever explanation/analogy/joke here. Please say you understand. Anyway, I haven’t decided yet. Please let me know you’re thoughts. GIVE ME A FRENCH NAME PLEASE
  • Saboala daughter would be Yuka because YUKA-lyptus. You can basically hear Sabo’s pride in the distance coz he thought of it and Koala’s like “He wrote it on the birth certificate when I was asleep”. Hi @nurmuzdalifah
  • Saboala’s son, I’m not entirely sure but he’d be Joie, which is basically an alternate spelling for joey coz baby koala. IDK, I’ve run out of options.
  • Franky wanted to name their daughter Pliers. Robin wants to name her Lilith. We’ll keep you posted. 
  • Frobin daughter says “WICKED!” instead of “SUPER!”
  • I don’t know what Shanks and Mihawk’s kids names are.
  • ZoSan daughter has absolute loyalty to “her captain”, Laffy, which she mostly picked up from both her parents. She sometimes tends to overdo it in the sense that she vows to slice everyone and everything that doesn’t agree with her captain. The peanut butter jar that won’t open, for instance, did not escape the wrath of her blades. 
  • Zoro tends to be overy dramatic when discussing issues of pride and loyalty and manliness to his daughter that Sanji feels like he needs to balance it by trying to tell her what a lady is like. So that resulted to a well-mannered fighter (unless Sabo’s son is involved. I’ll get to that later.). “I am aware that young ladies are expected to be prim and proper but you, sir, have been acting like a despicable donkey’s behind. I’m afraid I will have to slice you. Please do not fret. The sharpness of my knives should alleviate most of the pain.” 
  • Shanks and Mihawk’s twins were genetically made. Once upon a time, someone tried to beat the Germa by mass-producing soldiers with the genes of the best swordsmen in the world. Both swordsmen find out about this, destroy the lab and all of the research but the prototype babies were there already so Shanks goes “LOL so I guess we have kids now LOLOLOLOL LET’S DRINK” (GUYS I DO NOT EVEN SHIP THESE TWO)
  • Mihawk’s daughter wields the largest sword of them all.
  • Mihawk’s son wields dual blades.
  • ZoSan daughter has some sort of rivalry with Shanks and Mihawk’s twins. She fights them with knives.
  • Shanks Mihawk twins have a god damn high tolerance to wine and alcohol. Why they are allowed to drink, no one knows.
  • Laffy thinks Mihawk’s daughter’s sword and her insane ability to wield it is one of the most amazing things on the planet and god damn if ZoSan daughter didn’t ask uncle franky to make her the largest cleaver on the face of the earth. “I need to live up to my captain’s expectations!!!!” 
  • Laffy has a crush on Dracule Mihawk. Mihawk’s son has a crush on Laffy. Law is reminded of what helplessness feels like.
  • Saboala son is the sane one and tries to be the futile voice of reason among the chaos that is Laffy, her whims, and her vice-captain. He tries to save what he can but he finds prevention is next to impossible while clean-up is inevitable. He doesn’t know why he still tries.
  • Saboala son bickers with ZoSan daughter much like how Zoro and Sanji behave and that causes Zoro and Sanji some sort of discomfort that they could not explain. Luffy thinks it’s funny. 
  • ZoSan daughter calls Saboala son “Pretty Boy” or “School Boy” as an insult. He calls her “Curly Skirts” much to her parents’ horror. They still do not understand where this fear is coming from. At one point, Zoro wonders about cutting the boy just to see if that does something. Koala lost her shit. That had been a fun day.
  • Saboala son is the only person that does not receive well-mannered treatment from ZoSan daughter.
  • Laffy’s mastery of haki is superb. Silvers Rayleigh + Monkey D. Garp and I just….. I just CAN’T. She also has insane stamina. While she mostly fights using kicks and punches, Laffy can also fight using a myriad of haki-imbued things ranging from an eggplant to a chair.
  • Only Saboala son can spar with Laffy when it comes to haki. He fights with a pipe, too, and can do those dragon claw things because why the hell not? He knows some moves from Fishman Karate but, dude. DRAGONS.
  • Saboala’s daughter can speak a wide variety of languages because she’s been exposed to them since birth. Hack spoils her and helps Koala teach her Fishman Karate.
  • Laffy’s met Doffy. Cora-san brought her down there because he’s still family after all. She was escorted by Garp, Tsuru, Sengoku, Coby, Helmeppo, Smoker, Tashigi, and Rocinante himself. When Laffy came back, the first thing she said to Law was “The weak don’t get to choose how they die!” Law was more livid than Akainu and Ace combined.
  • Speaking of Ace, he’s alive. He sneaks Laffy off the Sunny sometimes because she likes to see Pineapple Bird aka Marco. Ace is kind of jealous that his niece thinks Marco’s flames are prettier than his.

More about the One Piece Babies here.

  • but when HE’S sick he’ll either work till he’s dying or keep it from everyone. He’ll completely deny he has anything unless it puts the team in danger (ex: lightly poisoned? mamma didn’t raise no pussy. Contagious poison? don’t touch me im sterile) 

  • sleep is a suggestion to him. Alteans don’t need as much sleep as humans anyway, but coran is constantly awake and ON THE MOVE. basically a cryptid

  • he’s always around in case any of the paladins have nightmares or insomnia at night or something and makes them sweet root tea or something. :’’-)

  • eyes and markings glow when super happy or excited (allura too!)

  • he’s ripped as fuck hes goddamned beefy and when the paladins find out they’re like: ?!?!?!?!

  • lance: he’s….. thicc
  • coran has no favorites (lance) but will go the extra mile to make every paladin laugh if they’re feeling down
  • talks to the lions when repairing them or just hanging around them. he tells them stories and jokes. blue thinks he’s sweet but green nearly falls over laughing bc she thinks he’s so funny. then when he tells a pidge a joke and she doesnt get it he’ll grumble and say smthng like “green would have laughed..”
  • this guy CAN FLIRT 
  • seriously, one time they were on a mission and both coran and allura were there for diplomatic reasons and the prince of the alien planet started getting fresh with allura. coran swoops in.gently takes his hands. leads him away from allura looking into his eyes. he’s got the most charming voice and smile ad says something like “ i can see the universe in your eyes” tHE ALIEN IS DEAD HE’S ENDED. 
  • paladins have memes about him 
  • “vore me daddy coran” (this is his least favorite)
  • * pidge goes up to the beefiest alien with the biggest muscles ever* “coran… is that you… how did you get here…”
  • *lance and keith making out* “you know who’s the best?” “hmm?” “coran” “lance what hte fuck”
  • they actually love him a lot and when they’re concerned abt him he doesn’t quite get it bc he’s the advisor not a paladin or the princess?? ‘why would you guys worry about me im replacab-” “NO??? FUCK OFF??? YOU’RE THE BEST???”
  • has TONS of tiny scars on his hands from mechanic work but they’re so fucking smooth and soft like a little baby hand. everytime he takes them off u can hear someone running down the hall “GLOVES OFF” and someone dives to the ground to hold his hand
  • i mean he’s very diplomacy first and shit but if someones down to fight or threatening the paladins… gloves off. he socks them right in the face and starts a huge fight which he wins. it’s actually a little he’s all dirty and torn up and wiping blood from his nose with his knuckles and spits on the guy he just pummled. the guy is crying. he turns back to the paladins with a wide grin and and goofy laugh “sore losers am i right ;-)”
  • allura can beat him in a fair fight and he doesn’t hold back (too much) 
  • hands shake when anxious and gets real clumsy. ;ike theres a line. normally he has sturdy hands, if he’s nervous or anxious or paranoid they shake like the devil and he trips over stuff and you want to keep him out of the mechanic room (unfortunately thats the first place he’ll go) however he can stitch up your wound faster than lightning, and is very calm in the face of real hardcore danger

Paladin specific headcannons under the cut:

Keep reading

Hannibal Rewatch: 1x01

Season 1, Episode 1 - “Aperitif”

Heeyy all my buddies!

So I thought it would be a swell idea to rewatch Hannibal, because what is emotional stability good for, really? Very little, I’d say.

In my ~dreams~ I imagined writing posts covering the first two seasons that people could read if they were watching Hannibal for the first time, and that would eventually join up with my season 3 recaps to make one continuous chain. But then I realized two things:

1) that maybe I could actually provide something kinda interesting and a little more rare in tv commentary, in that I could relook at a series as a whole, knowing what it is they built over time, and talk about how the boards were laid, as it were

2) that I have no control when it comes to foreshadowing or pain

This latter realization was mostly about myself, and although it wasn’t a surprise it was valuable.

These in turn mean two things for YOU:

1) as a whole these posts will contain spoilers through the Hannibal series finale (it’s over & it’s perfect shhhh wade into the stream). Sometimes the spoilers will be specific, other times it will be more general knowledge of circumstances, which I think counts as a spoiler for Hannibal because so much of the joy/horror of this show is in being very much with the characters in what you are (not) aware of at any given moment. And I don’t want to take that from newbies, so we’re keeping these things on Alert.

2) probably this whole adventure is going to be primarily screen shots followed by me being like

…which was a joke but also, I am beginning to suspect, oddly accurate? Like I just want to make sure everyone is yelling enough and for the right reasons. I am a mere humble thinker of feelings, at your service.

Take, for instance, this, which we see in the very first word-free minutes of the television series Hannibal:

Just the face of a man about to walk forward into the rest of his life. And do you know what he does first? He closes his eyes. Do you know what happens when you close your eyes? That’s when the monsters can move.


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