sometimes disney i just want to work for you and make you better

Why all of the Disney princesses are awesome

Snow White

- was a survivor of attempted murder, and was resilient to not let that horrid and traumatizing event bring her down or let it ruin her life

- was a victim of emotional abuse, and didn’t let the abuse get to her

- would save a baby bird from danger and make sure it found it’s parents

- knows how to hold a rocking party with friends

Cinderella

- survivor of emotional abuse from her stepmom and stepsisters for many years, and stayed kind towards others

- despite her family treating her so wrongly and poorly, she just wanted to spend a night with them and have fun with them, and just be like a normal family “ Prince Charming, who “ ?????

- she’s sassy as fuck “ Well I don’t want to interrupt their “music lesson “ during her stepsisters bad singing

- even though she had a short time to be at the ball, she was grateful for the opportunity anyways

Aurora

- Gives up her happiness, to perform her duty as a princess for her kingdom and her kingdom’s future and knows that she must do her job as a princess. That’s pretty brave and selfless.

- that gorgeous blonde curly hair !!!!

Ariel

- she’s the first Princess that goes forward to make her dreams come true, rather than just wishing, hoping and waiting.

- she’s adventurous, curious, loves to explore, learn about new things and new cultures and new world

- she’s the first Princess to save her love interest, but once, but twice

Belle

- different, odd and a misfit from the common crowd and gives no fucks

- “ Women shouldn’t read “ Well shut the fuck up, I’m going to do what I love and enjoy anyways.

- takes no bullshit. You are a asshole ? Got no time for that. She’s outtie.

- sees the good within people, but is also isn’t naive, she knows that some people are just plain monsters, through and through.

Jasmine

- will stand up for her rights, and won’t be pushed around

- is quick, sharp, intelligent and a fast learner

-wants to learn more about the outside world and her people

-if you try and lie to her or manipulate her or treat her like she’s a fool, she’s not having that shit

Pocahontas

-will fight for her people, her family, her world, her home, her culture

- she’s the first princess to save the day, not the guy, not a male sidekick, she’s the one the saves the day, while Snow had the Dwarfs, Cinderella had her mice friends, Aurora had Prince Phillip, Ariel had Eric, and Jasmine had Aladdin. ( Belle is debatable imo )

- loves the earth and nature and will protect it from harm

Mulan

- she saves China, I mean, come on

- she never gives up, no matter what. If she fails, she will just try even harder to succeed and will find a way on how can succeed.

- brave, determined, strong mentally and physically, a kind friend

-teaches girls that it’s okay if you haven’t found yourself yet- if you don’t give up, one day you will, and you will conquer

- pushes gender norms

- another female princess that saves the day, not her male love interest, or sidekicks, is also the first princess to defeat the villian in battle, like a previous male character like Phillip or Eric would

Tiana

- is hard-working, and never gives up on her dreams, and will work hard to get there

- teaches that dreams are done by sweating your butt off, giving up on fun sometimes, sometimes having to work more than one job, than just wishing and hoping, you have to take action, and make that dream happen

-ambitious and smart and realistic

- teaches that you shouldn’t take a short-cut, find a lazy option, cheat or gamble your way to success, the only to get there is through hard work and effort

- again,another badass princess that saves the day on her own

Rapunzel

- is kind to everybody

- is cheerful, positive, warm and supportive towards others, even people who seem “scary “, she knows inside, that we all have dreams

-is brave enough to step outside her  zone and new and strange places and territories

- anger her by harming one of her loved ones and she will fucking tear you apart

- a talented artist

Anna and Elsa

- teaches girls that family love is just as important than romance love, if not more so

- Anna goes through a abusive relationship and isn’t put off love forever, she learns her lesson, doesn’t let Hans bad treatment of her ruin her or let her become a toxic person, like he was, and moves on with a better man, and a healthier relationship

- Elsa goes through basically being locked up with lack of other human contact, fearing her powers and fearing what other people think of, to come out as better and stronger person

- Elsa teaches that sometimes its best not let what others think of you, and just say “ fuck it “ and just be yourself and be free

- Anna teaches the difference between a unhealthy relationship (whirlwind romance,quickly trusting people, getting into a deep relationship with somebody you don’t even know )  and healthy one ( somebody who gives you his jacket when you are cold, holds you close when you are scared, is worried about your well-being, getting to know somebody first before leaping in, somebody who asks for your consent before kissing you, will do anything to make sure you are safe and okay )

Moana

- will do anything for her island and people and make sure they’ll all okay

- her leadership skills are A++

- no “ you are forced to marry this boy so you can become his queen”, BS, Moana is the future leader

- is brave to fear the unknown waters, learn new skills, and battle monsters

- is understanding, and understands why somebody acts the way that they do

- is extremely independent


in short, they are all awesome, even the three originals.

The 3 Elements of a CHARACTER GOAL

You know that moment in a book or movie, near the end, where everything has gone terribly wrong? All has been lost, the main character appears to have been brutally defeated, the mentor has probably kicked the bucket, and generally things couldn’t look bleaker? 

Writing feels like that moment.

Or more accurately, one point in the writing process feels akin to that dark night. It’s that time after the intrepid writer has pushed through the first draft of the story – they’ve brainstormed the development process, sailed through the beginning, blazed through the middle – and then quite suddenly …everything falls apart.

And this despair can be summed up in one soul-crushing sentence: “What happens at the end?" 

The writer realizes that they don’t know. A giddy optimism has propelled them thus far, a chipper little voice in the back of their head assuring "Don’t worry about the end yet! It’ll sort itself out!”

That little happy voice, it turns out, is a liar. 

But your reign of terror is over, lying voice. There’s a way to fix it so you can never trick another writer again. Because knowing what happens at the end comes down to knowing something right in the beginning: knowing three integral facets of the main character. If you know this golden trio, you’ll have a much better chance of knowing exactly what happens at the end: because the end is all about these three. 

So what are these three things? 

GOAL: What the main characters wants, and will pursue throughout the story, overcoming all obstacles and enemies to obtain. 

WANT: Their reasons for wanting it, which is usually to fill some emotional void they sense in their lives, something they believe will fix life and make it complete.

NEED: What they TRULY require to fill that emotional void, to be complete. 

Yup, three of the things listed in that other post “10 Elements of a Main Character”. But now, we’re going to delve into more detail, the elements of a good Goal, a good Want, and a good Need. 

So what goes into a story GOAL? Goals should be …

SINGULAR: The character must have one objective, and only one. A desire, and the overcoming of obstacles to achieve it, form the spine of the story. If there are two, the character is split between two storylines; they are trying to balance two stories at once, confusing them and confusing the reader. 

TANGIBLE: The goal must be something REAL. Something we can see and feel. 

SPECIFIC: In addition to being tangible, it must be highly specific. If the goal was to “escape” it would have to be “escape to a definite destination”. It can’t be at all vague or easily fulfilled by many objects: it must be finding a specific object, winning a specific prize, getting to a specific destination, etc.  

Like in Tangled: The goal is “see the floating lights.”

NOT EMOTIONS/STATES OF MIND: The goal can’t be something like “happiness” or “belonging” or “love.” Those aren’t tangible, they’re not specific, and most of all the reader can’t envision it being achieved. The goal CAN be a physical representation of an emotional state; obtaining this specific and physical objective will mean achieving the emotional state. 

IMAGINABLE: We should be able to easily envision the main character achieving the goal. When we see it, we know it’s happening, know that everything has been building to this moment.

Like in Monsters Inc, we know what getting Boo back home is going to look like (though in the beginning, we don’t know that it’s going to be heartbreaking.)

NOBLE: The goal should be something the reader can cheer on. The reader understands why the main character wants it. The reader can relate to the goal, and the emotional reason behind it.

Cheer like this.

STAKES: If they fail, something will be lost. If they choose not to pursue the goal, things will be very bad. There can’t be a sense that if they stop going after the goal at any point, life could just go back to how it was. When the catalyst came in and shattered their ordinary world and everyday routine, the story entered the realm of “nothing will ever be the same” and the only way to restore order to their universe is to achieve this thing. And that thing that will be lost must be something we can relate to, something significant: love, safety, family, life, future, freedom, loved ones. 

What goes into the WANT? The want is…

CONNECTED TO GHOST: The ghost is a moment from their past that still haunts them, and is the source of their moral and psychological weaknesses. Their reasons for wanting the goal should be connected to this moment. They believe that if they achieve it, their world will be fixed, life will go back to how it was before this haunting moment occurred.

MISGUIDED: And they’re usually always wrong. Achieving the goal just as it is will never fix what’s broken in their lives. 

SAVING GRACE: It’s often this Want behind their goal that acts as their saving grace in the eyes of the reader. Sometimes it’s hard to connect with a character – they’re difficult to understand, easy to find unappealing, even downright unpleasant – until we know why they are the way they are. (Think Marlin from Finding Nemo; he’s pretty unlikable and frustrating half the time, but we know why he’s behaving that way, so it’s easier to forgive him.) 

What do all of these character NEEDS have in common?

HOW TO FIX LIFE: In their pursuit of the tangible goal, something else is revealed that will truly save their lives. This is some truth that will banish the power of the ghost, let the character see themselves clearly for the first time, and show them what needs to be done to live a better life in the future. This usually arrives right after that “Dark Night” moment, which is usually when the goal has been achieved or lost; the truth revealed in this moment will allow them to snatch victory from this darkest defeat, renew their courage, inspire them to soldier on and pursue the story goal once more. 

NEW WORLDVIEW: This crucible of battle and revelation of truth changes them. They’re not the same person anymore. They’ve conquered the thing that haunts them, overcome weaknesses, have greater knowledge of themselves and life.

Okay! So how does this work? Let’s use Wreck-It Ralph, because I’m in the mood.

What is Ralph’s Goal? 

A medal. 

A single medal will suffice. A tangible medal that we can easily envision. A specific medal, namely the one he got from Hero’s Duty.  A medal that we can imagine him obtaining, bringing to the Nicelanders, and using to change his lot in life. 

It’s easy to cheer on because it means Ralph doesn’t have to live in the garbage, alone anymore. We can relate to it, and cheer it on, because nobody wants to be alone (especially not while living in garbage). 

And the stakes for this are obvious: ___.

Now how about what Ralph wants?

This medal is connected to Ralph’s ghost which is years and years of being the bad guy. The bad, unlikable, unloved, unworthy, friendless guy. 

He thinks if he gets it, he’ll become the good guy at long last, and his loneliness and lack of self-worth will end. 

How is this his saving grace? It immediately makes the audience empathize with Ralph. Everyone, at some point, has felt alone and unloved. 


What about what he Needs?

Getting the medal doesn’t work out for Ralph. It doesn’t fix anything. What he NEEDS is this medal:

To become a hero, he needs to be the hero for Vanellope. 

New Worldview: 

“As long as that little kid likes me … “ 

So these three are the destination. These are what everything is going towards. If you know these three elements, you’ll have a much better chance of an ending forming in your head. So take that annoying little liar voice.

You know what that voice looks like?  Her. It looks like Umbridge.

Sorry I wanted you to hate it as much as I do.

he’s the beauty; she’s the beast

so i’m sure the remake of a timeless classic that disney is about to roll out is going to be great and all

but here’s another way we could do things:

he’s the beauty

she’s the beast

for a movie who’s central theme is inner beauty, it doesn’t really do anything to support that, you know? so how about this: adam, our prince turned beast, isn’t an inhospitable monster. because this back story doesn’t make any sense – why is the young prince of this land alone, in a castle, only to be caught unaware by a witch?

so how about this – this is pseudo france, right, so these royals do what their real life counterparts did. they flee. the cruel, greedy king and queen flee and leave their young son behind with their staff. their son who is kind and soft hearted and totally unfit to rule any kingdom (never mind that they’re literally running away from their own people). not only that – they trade their son for their freedom, trade their kingdom for their freedom. to the witch.

so the witch comes, and she doesn’t disguise herself as a crone, goes to him looking as lovely and young as her magic keeps her. but our prince adam has a talent, one many cast-aside, neglected children have developed – the ability to see people for who they really are, and he knows this is no kind young woman in need of his help. he refuses to let her in – and there’s this little twist to the magic, that she can only enter the palace grounds and claim her prize if she’s welcomed in a as a guest, and he, the young master of this castle, won’t let her in.

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

I'm going through a real rough patch and if you want to write something cheerful you have no idea how grateful I'd be.

Flash sidled up to Superman on one of the Watchtower’s mezzanines, leaning against a rail. They looked at each other sidelong, then away.

“Wanna hear my new time?” Flash asked sideways, swaying as he alternated which foot held his weight, hands on his hips.

“There’s no way you beat my time,” Superman muttered, his arms crossed over his chest. His eyes were in the other direction, and both men went silent as the Lanterns walked too close. Superman and Flash gave them a nod of acknowledgment, then waited for them to be at a safe distance.

“Nine seconds.”

“What!” Superman dropped his arms, whipped his head around to where Flash was grinning and bouncing on his heels. “No way.”

Flat,” Flash said.

“There’s no way.”

“Check my heartbeat if you don’t believe me,” Flash said, tapping his insignia with his thumb. Then he frowned. “Actually, don’t, I’m pretty excited about this so my pulse is probably crazy.”

His heart always sounded like an angry hummingbird trapped between his lungs, but Barry was also a notoriously terrible liar, so it wasn’t as relevant as it could have been.

Dangit,” Superman said, crossing his arms again. He leaned back to scope out the area around them. No one seemed to be paying them much mind. “What time?”

“Eleven on a Saturday,” Flash said, looking even more smug. “You know I don’t mess around.”

“Tch!” Superman made an irritated sound, licking his canines. Then he snapped his fingers. “You forgot about–”

“Nnnope,” Flash interrupted. “I’m including the new ones in that, that’s the whole reason we had to reset our times, otherwise I’d still be at seven-point-four.”

Tch.” Superman drummed his fingers against his bicep. “Nine seconds,” he repeated, torn between irritation and awe.

“You know what that means,” Flash said, waggling his eyebrows.

Superman sighed. “Alright, where are we going?”

“I want soup.”

“Uh-huh.” Superman waited. Flash was waiting for him to ask. Superman was not going to give him the satisfaction.

“… in Saigon.”

“You’ve been watching Bourdain again,” Superman accused.

“It looked like really good soup!” Flash said, defensive.

“Fine,” Superman said, “but I am going to beat your time, and when I do–”

“Beat what, now?” Wonder Woman asked, having managed to approach them while they were distracted by negotiations.

“Nothing!” Flash and Superman said at once.

“We were just talking,” Superman said.

“About stuff,” Flash added unnecessarily. “Private, personal, man stuff.”

Wonder Woman’s eyebrows shot up. She was close enough for her lariat to hum on her hip. She looked Flash over. Flash started to turn red.

“Okay bye!” Flash said, and he was gone in a streak of red.

“Superman?” Wonder Woman asked.

“I should, uh. Hal…”

He wasn’t actually making any definitive statements, just stringing words together, and yet somehow it still managed to ring false. She watched him go, putting her hands on her hips.

She could practically sense it when Batman came up beside her, even quiet as he was.

“Do you want to know what they were talking about.”

“Do you know?” she wondered. He said nothing, so she turned to look at his face. It was as expressionless as ever, but she got the impression that he did not consider the question worthy of dignifying with a response.

He was Batman. He would never be so rude as to say ‘of course’ – but of course he knew.

“I wouldn’t want to invade his privacy,” Wonder Woman said cautiously.

“He’d tell you if you really asked,” Batman said. “They just like feeling like they have a special thing.”

“Oh.”

“Flash, especially.”

“I see.” She tapped on her lower lip as she watched Superman talk to one of the Green Lanterns. “So what’s the special thing?”

“Pick me up in the plane on Saturday and I can show you.”

She froze. Slowly, she turned to look at him. As always, being able to see him helped not at all. “Like a date?” she asked.

The corner of his mouth twitched. “More like a stakeout.”

“That could be like a date.” She was mostly saying it to tease him. Sometimes if she did it right, he turned pink and had to find a shadow to hide in.

“It’s usually not.”

“Why not?”

“I’m usually with the kids.”

“Oh!” Her eyes widened. “I didn’t mean–”

“It’s fine.”

She put her hand out to rest on his shoulder. “I would never imply–”

“I know.”

She took her hand back. “I’ll behave,” she assured him.

“You don’t have to,” he said, and she grinned.

“I’ll pick you up at ten,” she said, and she gave him an exaggerated wink as she walked away.

“It’s a date,” he murmured.


Why,” Wonder Woman asked, “are we in Florida?”

Batman was sitting beside her, and the plane was in a low hover. “Because as far as anyone can tell, this is the single biggest and busiest Walmart in the world.”

“I don’t think that explains as much as you think it does,” she said.

Batman held up a phone. A clock took up most of the screen. 10:59. “Watch,” he said, and he pointed out to the parking lot, vast and terrifying and teeming with people. She watched, and she had no idea how she was supposed to see anything in the crowd.

Finally, she spotted it. The motion too quick to be anything mortal. Would anyone on the ground notice anything more than a strong breeze?

“Oh! It’s the–” She snapped her fingers, couldn’t remember the word.

“Carts,” Batman supplied.

“Yes!”

In almost no time at all, every cart in the parking lot had been returned to one of the designated corrals. Batman pointed to something that he must have been using technology in his mask to see, because otherwise his eyes should not have been good enough. Wonder Woman was much better equipped to see Superman, standing beneath a tree and checking a stopwatch and scowling. He did some kind of motion with his arms and one leg that suggested he’d have thrown his hat to the ground, if he’d been wearing one.

“They introduced new carts,” Batman explained. “They don’t fit with the other ones, so it slows them down. Ruined their whole system.”

“They had a system?” she asked, giggling.

“No, here,” he said, tapping her arm to point again. “This is the best part. He’s frustrated.”

That’s the best part?”

“Watch what he does.”

She watched. Superman was gone again, more impossible-to-follow motion through the crowd. Things were moving. Large things.

“He’s fixing the cars!” she said, clapping her hands together.

“He’s fixing bad parking jobs,” Batman confirmed. “Because he’s mad.” There was a brief crooked curve to his mouth.

“He moved that one to a different space!”

“Illegally parked in a handicapped spot.”

“How fun.” Wonder Woman watched the people wandering through the lot, wondered how many of them had noticed what was happening and how many had disregarded it as nothing worth noticing. “Flash is the winner of this contest, then?”

“Consistently.”

“Is there a prize?”

“Clark buys him lunch. Usually somewhere he saw on a food show, since he can’t normally do that.”

“Why not?”

“Hm?”

“Barry can run anywhere, can’t he?” she asked. “I see no reason he couldn’t run to these places on his own.”

“He doesn’t like being alone in foreign countries,” Batman explained. “It makes him anxious.”

“Oh.” She returned her gaze to the parking lot. “How nice, then, that it all works out.” She frowned. “Is this weird?” she asked. “Spying on our friends like this.”

“I don’t think I’m the right person to ask.”

“Do you do this often?” she wondered. “Watch people have fun without you?”

“Define 'often’.”

Wonder Woman held up a finger in warning. “Zatanna taught me a trick.”

“That doesn’t sound good.”

“She says that if you ask me to define the parameters, it means the answer is bad.”

Before he could respond, there was a thump.

Superman was standing on the nose of the invisible jet.

He tapped a knuckle on the glass, until Diana opened the hatch. “Hello!” she said cheerfully.

“What are you two doing here?” Clark asked.

“We’re on a date!” Diana said.

“We’re not on a date,” Batman said.

“If you’re not on a date, can you give me a ride?”

“You’re out of our way,” Batman said.

“Nah, just drop me off in Gotham,” Clark said, slipping inside the plane, awkwardly floating between the two front seats into the back.

“You don’t even need a ride,” Bruce said, having to fit himself as far as possible into the edge of his seat so that Clark would have room to get by. “You can fly.”

“Yeah, and you can walk, but I don’t see you giving up the Batmobile.” Clark made himself comfortable in the back seat as Diana closed up the plane. “I’m craving Dimitri’s.”

“You’re too sober for Dimitri’s,” Bruce said.

“I’m always sober. You’re lucky I can tell this wasn’t a real date, or I would be really creeped out by the whole spying on me thing.”

“Don’t tell Barry we know about your special thing,” Diana said, pulling the plane out of its hover to ascend. “I don’t want to ruin it for him.”

“I won’t,” Clark assured her. “Hey, you know where we should go while we’re here?”

“No,” said Bruce.

“Where?” asked Diana.

“No,” said Bruce.

“Disney World!”

“No.”

Diana gasped.

“No.”

Clark put a hand on Bruce’s shoulder. “You can’t have come all the way to Florida just to see me,” he coaxed.

“I’m banned from Walmart, strongly discouraged from visiting Disney parks, and my parents are dead. I have no other reason to visit Florida.”

prompt list

feel free to request away
-
1. “Why are we at a strip club?”
2. “I’m sorry, you said what to your teacher?”
3. “Am I dead?”
4. “It’s always been you. You and only you.”
5. “If you loved me, you’d fight for it. If you loved me, you’d show it. If you loved me, you’d fight for me. Do you even know what love is?”
6. “Stay with me.”
7. “How about we put the gun down and talk about this?”
8. “I came here to kick ass and chew gum.. and I’m all out of gum.”
9. “Whatever it is I didn’t do it.”
10. “Don’t make me regret saving you.”
11. “Are you-are you flirting with me?”
12. “I’m proud of you. I’m proud of us.”
13. “I trusted you.”
14. “Am I supposed to be impressed?”
15. “Don’t tempt me.”
16. “I’m going to kiss you now.”
17. “Is that my shirt?”
18. “Would you quit moving around?” “It’s not my fault we’re tied up together!”
19. “Does your life revolve around embarrassing me?”
20. “I can’t do this anymore.”
21. “Do you smell burning?”
22. “Look at the sky.”
23. “I didn’t know you could do that.”
24. “I will not hesitate to murder you.”
25. “It’s simple really. Here let me show you.”
26. “I’m pretty sure that’s not how it works.”
27. “Hey have you seen my- Oh.”
28. “Go to hell.” “Already been but thanks for the invite.”
29. “Look at me.”
30. “Go away! I don’t ever want to see you again!”
31. “Don’t tell me how to calm down, you calm down!”
32. “Where did you get that?”
33. “Oh my gosh is that blood?”
34. “What are you doing here by yourself?”
35. “Here, take my hand. Everything is fine, just hold onto me and keep moving.”
36. “I don’t know who I am without you.”
37. “You don’t need to protect me.”
38. “Stop looking at me like that!”
39. “I can’t believe you talked me into this.”
40. “All I wanted was the truth.”
41. “I had a nightmare about you, and I wanted to make sure you were alright.”
42. “You make me feel like I’m not good enough.”
43. “I told you not to fall in love with me.”
44. “I forgive a lot, but I never forget what was said and done.”
45. “Again?”
46. “Please shut up. Just shut up.”
47. “I’m tired of being your secret.”
48. “You know, it’s okay to cry.”
49. “Go on, tell me. Tell me you don’t love me.”
50. “I just want to be alone right now.”
51. “Those things you said yesterday.. did you really mean them?”
52. “Just say it is okay. I just need to hear you say that.”
53. “I love you and I am terrified.”
54. “Promise me you’ll come back.. I need you to promise me.”
55. “That’s distracting.”
56. “I think I picked up your coffee by mistake.”
57. “Wait a second.. are you jealous?”
58. “This is by far the most stupid plan you’ve ever created. Of course I’m in.”
59. “You did this for me?”
60. “I’m afraid this conversation is going to end in goodbye.”
61. “Would you just hold still?”
62. “We’re running low on time here.”
63. “You’ve got something on your cheek.”
64. “I’m not bothering you, am I?”
65. “Really, right now?”
66. “Wait, you’re my soulmate?”
67. “I really wish you told me your mother was in town.”
68. “You’re wrong and I’ll prove it.”
69. “I can never say no to a picnic.”
70. “I could tell it was your favorite book from all the notes you wrote in the margins.”
71. “I never imagined myself in a wedding dress.”
72. “I’m yours, in every way possible.”
73. “We’re not just friends, and you know it.”
74. “Well. Yell, scream, say something, anything.”
75. “Where do you think you’re going?”
76. “Nobody thinks what I think.”
77. “Despite what you think, I am completely capable of taking care of myself.”
78. “Just please be my best friend right now, and not the person I confessed my love to.”
79. “I think you’re just afraid to be happy.”
80. “Make me.”
81. “Well if you insist.”
82. “We’ll get through this, I promise.”
83. “I can’t believe you don’t like Disney movies.”
84. “You’re lucky you’re cute.”
85. “Sometimes I really dislike you.”
86. “You’re getting crumbs all over my bed.”
87. “It’s too early for this.”
88. “But then I’d have to put pants on..”
89. “If my parents knew what I was doing they’d kill me.”
90. “Are you trying to make me to hate you? Because it’s working.”
91. “Don’t open those till later!”
92. “For some reason I’m attracted to you.”
93. “To be honest I could care less.”
94. “Go on then, tell me. Tell me you don’t love me.”
95. “Hold my hand, we have to make this look convincing!”
96. “I’ll make it right for you.”
97. “When you smile I fall apart.”
98. “I don’t know what I did to deserve you.”
99. “I really don’t know why I’m crying.”
100. “I won’t let you fall.”
101. “I’m like 20% sure this plan work. There’s an 80% chance we could die horribly and violently, but this plan is solid, I swear.”
102. “I’m not happy here.”
103. “I’m so stupid to make the mistake of falling in love with my best friend.”
104. “I’m tired of being your secret.”
105. “Well if you’re up for the challenge.”
106. “I’ve moved on.”
107. “I’ve seen the way you look at me when you don’t think I can see you.”
108. “If I die, I am coming back to haunt you.”
109. “If you don’t want to talk about it then say so. Don’t lie and pretend to be fine when you clearly aren’t.”
110. “If you walk out that door don’t you dare think about coming back.”
111. “Is that a challenge?”
112. “Is it supposed to look like that? Are you sure?”
113. “I made you cupcakes cause I knew you liked them.”
114. “Is there something you want to tell me?”
115. “I mean, it could be worse.”
116. “This wasn’t supposed to happen like this.”
117. “This was all a dream?”
118. “It’s not what it looks like.”
119. “It’s okay I’m here for you.”
120. “Wait, you did what again?”
121. “Just talk to me.”
122. “Just leave me alone!”
123. “Let him go! It’s me who you want!”
124. “My parents asked about you again.”
125. “Make a wish.”
126. “None of this makes sense.”
127. “None of that matters anymore.”
128. “Wait this is your handwriting? I thought this was hieroglyphics.”
129. “Not a day goes by that I don’t think of you.”
130. “Oh my god! You’re in love with her!”
131. “Please don’t give up on me.”
132. “Please listen to me.”
133. “Please don’t go.”
134. “Please.. I love you.”
135. “Please, take me instead!”
136. “Please don’t leave me.”
137. “Please don’t argue with me.”
138. “Promise me you’ll take care of her/him.”
139. “Promise me you’ll take better care of yourself.”
140. “Promise me you’ll stay.”
141. “Why are you taking so many photos?”
142. “I didn’t know you could play.”
143. “You can sing?”
144. “Teach me how to play?”
145. “Are you okay?” “Why do you ask?” “Because you’re wearing two different shoes.”
146. “Want to talk about it?”
147. “I just really miss talking with you.”
148. “Things don’t always turn out the way we want them to.”
149. “This isn’t just about you. It’s about what’s best for all of us.”
150. “You made me what?”
151. “Times up!”
152. “There’s something I need to tell you.”
153. “We could’ve had it all.”
154. “Are you sure you two aren’t married?”
155. “Well.. don’t keep me waiting.”
156. “Please look at me.”
157. “What have I ever done to you?”
158. “What are you doing here?”
159. “When are you going to realize I don’t care?”
160. “When you love someone, you just don’t stop. Ever. Even when people stop to roll their eyes or call you crazy.. even then. Especially then!”
161. “Where did that cat come from?”
162. “Where did you get this from?”
163. “Why are you up so early?”
164. “Why can’t they see they’re meant for each another?”
165. “Why did you choose me?”
166. “Why don’t you say it to my face?”
167. “Why couldn’t you come to me with your problems?”
168. “Would you stop for a second so I can say something to you for once!”
169. “You need to calm down.”
170. “I know you told me to stop thinking about you, but I can’t get you out of my mind.”
171. “You are nothing like them.”
172. “You were the greatest thing that ever happened to me.”
173. “I never believed in love till I met you.”
174. “I don’t need a Prince Charming saving me.”
175. “You can’t sit on the sidelines your entire life!”
176. “You deserve so much better.”
177. “You did all of this for me?”
178. “You take my love for granted.”
179. “You haven’t even touched your food.. what’s going on?”
180. “You know my name?”
181. “You need to wake up because I can’t do this on my own.”
182. “Stay the night. Please.”
183. “What did you say?”
184. “Why are you so annoying?”
185. “Don’t ask me that.”
186. “Don’t ever mention that again.”
187. “What’s with the box?”
188. “Say it!”
189. “Stop pinning this on me! You started it!”
190. “Did you do this on purpose?”
191. “Don’t give me that look! You started it!”
192. “It’s not fair!”
193. “I could kill you right now!”
194. “Don’t you dare give me that look!”
195. “Screw you!”
196. “Just shut up already.”
197. “You are so infuriating.
198. “Listen to me!”
199. “I dare you!”
200. “Please pretend to be my girlfriend/boyfriend.”
201. “You think I’m insensible enough to fall for that?”
202. “I’m not going to apologize. I can’t anymore.”
203. “Is this seat taken?”
204. “It’s midnight, what do you want?”
205. “You are strangely comfortable.”
206. “Imagine if it could always be this way, even in the city.”
207. “I don’t know how to feel any more.”
208. “At what point did you think that was a good idea?”
209. “Just marry me already.”
210. “Did I stutter?”
211. “Did I just say that out loud?”
212. “Did you hear that.”
213. “Don’t say you love me.”
214. “Don’t you ever do that again.”
215. “Everyone deserves a second chance.”
216. “I try so hard to forget you, but every single time it comes back to you.”
217. “H-How long have you been standing there?”
218. “Hey, I’m with you, okay? Always.”
219. “I didn’t ask for any of this! But do you know what I put up with it all? Because I love you!”
220. “I just need you here with me right now.”
221. “I love you. I’ve loved you since the moment I laid eyes on you and- Oh screw it!”
222. “We can’t lose each other, we just can’t.”
223. “I’ve never felt this way before and I’m terrified to be honest.”
224. “I never meant for anyone to get hurt.”
225. “I waited and waited, but you never came back!”
226. “I’m sick of feeling useless!”
227. “Is that what you call an apology?”
228. “Is there anything you want to tell me?”
229. “Somebody’s in love!”
230. “It’s not what it looks like.”
231. “Just hold me.”
232. “You’re the best part of me.”
233. “I don’t want to think about what I’d be like without you.”
234. “Can I hold your hand?”
235. “Let’s go get lost somewhere.”
236. “I just don’t know how to look forward anymore.”

“You will never win if you never begin.” – Helen Rowland

“You can’t wait for inspiration. You have to go after it with a club.” – Jack London

“A somebody was once a nobody who wanted to and did.” – John Burroughs

“If you can dream it, you can do it.” —Walt Disney

“Do not wait; the time will never be ‘just right.’ Start where you stand, and work with whatever tools you may have at your command, and better tools will be found as you go along.” — George Herbert

“Step by step and the thing is done.” – Charles Atlas

“The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.” — Eleanor Roosevelt

“If you don’t ask, you don’t get.” – Stevie Wonder

“There will be obstacles. There will be doubters. There will be mistakes. But with hard work, there are no limits.” — Michael Phelps

“One way to keep momentum going is to have constantly greater goals.” — Michael Korda

“Be gentle to all and stern with yourself.” – Saint Theresa of Avila

“You just can’t beat the person who never gives up.” —Babe Ruth

“The world breaks everyone, and afterward, some are strong at the broken places.” — Ernest Hemingway

“Things do not happen. Things are made to happen.” – John F. Kennedy

“He who believes is strong; he who doubts is weak. Strong convictions precede great actions.” — Louisa May Alcott

“Without discipline, there’s no life at all.” – Katharine Hepburn

“That which does not kill us makes us stronger.” —Friedrich Nietzsche

“Sometimes you don’t realize your own strength until you come face to face with your greatest weakness.” — Susan Gale

“Do you want to know who you are? Don’t ask. Act! Action will delineate and define you.” — Thomas Jefferson

“There is only one corner of the universe you can be certain of improving, and that’s your own self.“ – Aldous Huxley

“Doing the best at this moment puts you in the best place for the next moment.” – Oprah Winfrey

“From my tribe I take nothing, I am the maker of my own fortune.” – Tecumseh

See Part 1 for more motivation!

#BendyHTtakeover Recap

((so I’m gonna compile all the Good Shit from the #BendyHTtakeover event into one post okay here we goooo))

  • Sammy has been writing music for most of his life, “from a young age […] tunes would pop into my head, [writing music] was the only logical step. ;)”
  • Willow Weep For Me” is Sammy’s favorite song, he apparently considers it modern. what time period does this game take place in jfc
  • Sammy made a handful of puns during the event. Puns are great.
  • Apparently he liked Bacon Soup at one time, but “it kind of lost its luster after a bit.. But you’d have to be crazy to not love chocolate cake!”
  • Putting on pants is apparently a struggle for him.
  • Someone asked if Norman was behind the organ from chapter 2. He responded with “The organ… I don’t know what you mean. Although Norman, our projectionist, he was always very bright..” which might be a hint to something, a compliment, or another pun - who knows.
  • An ad for a Little Mermaid bedspread got posted in the middle of the event, probably on accident. Someone joked “Sammy’s favorite Disney Princess is Ariel, confirmed.” All he had to say was something was amiss with the post, and the bed looked comfortable.
  • Sammy still writes and sings music when he’s not praising Bendy, and has written “so many dozens of songs! So many! When you’ve been in this business as long as I have… you’re quite busy.” He also said “Perhaps you shall hear them someday.” pls
  • His clearest memory of the studio besides the ink pump is “a whistling sound, a vague melody.. with a sinister purpose.”
  • When asked for advice on composing music, he responded “Music is all about layers. Rich and lush. Practice, my friend. That’s what it’s all about!”
  • Wally’s catchphrase is apparently contagious. Someone asked “Sammy, what would happen if Wally lost his keys again?” To which he responded, “That Wally! That man can’t ever keep his things in order! If I didn’t know better I’d say his mind was wayyyyy out of here!”
  • Headcanon confirmed, “Sheep Songs” is Sammy’s favorite song he wrote for the Bendy cartoons.
  • He wears the mask to “resemble the most perfect form I know!”.
  • He might not be able to see without the mask as well, someone later asked “how do you see with that mask?” and he replied “how do you see without yours?”. Might have just been a joke, or confirming the “ink monsters can see through Bendy’s eyes in cutouts and posters” theory.
  • Sammy thinks Susie is “A charming woman.. quite… charming.. I recall only her face… that.. smile.”
  • He took some selfies for us.
  • Someone asked how he felt after what happened to him at the end of chapter 2. “I can’t recall any injustice on the part of the Ink Demon. He is.. most fair.” Apparently he’s fine with being pancake’d.
  • “Who’s better? Bendy, Alice, or Boris?” “There is only our lord Bendy.”
  • What makes Bendy so worshipable is that “[He] knows all and sees all. He is the hope we’ve been waiting for!”
  • “The last I can recall… I had a flowing cascade of brown hair.. I miss it so… or was it blonde? No matter.. it was splendid.”
  • He regrets never going to Coney Island.
  • Someone asked what he thinks of Alice “Ohhh such a voice! So.. heavenly! So beautiful!” Tied with his earlier comment about Susie, this makes Samsie shippers such as myself rejoice.
  • He is honored that people write songs about him, and Bendy.
  • He doesn’t only make puns, he memes. According to him, “if you have the proper training, mayonnaise IS an instrument.”
  • His favorite instrument is the banjo, he was always fond of it and it “plucks the right chord with me”
  • He thinks bacon soup can be good, “it’s best when aged for a while I hear.”
  • He’s happy Joey let him name the song “Sammy Jam” after himself.
  • Someone asked if he had a special someone before becoming an ink monster. His answer was a flustered “Someone.. special? … I.. well.. there was.. this one. I almost remember.”
  • He doesn’t quite know where Joey is, but he thinks he’s off raising his salary somewhere.
  • He doodles Bendy sometimes.

anonymous asked:

What is Motorcity?

Motorcity is a cartoon that was running on Disney XD for a while, before Disney mis-managed the crap out of it, then cancelled it and sat on the rights and didn’t do anything with them, like a bunch of jerks.  It’s available on iTunes, and it’s also on kimcartoon (altho there’s an audio error in those. I’m thinking about uploading my corrected copies somewhere so people can get them?? stay tuned)

ANYWAY.  In the Far Future, a guy called Abraham Kane (AKA Mark Hamill AKA Luke Skywalker AKA The Joker) decided he didn’t like Detroit and he wanted a new city there instead.  So he built his new city over top of Detroit, called it Detroit Deluxe.  Deluxe is run by Kane Co. which is run by Abraham Kane.  

(((^^^ The difference between a villain and a supervillain??? PRESENTATION.)))

So now that the whole stupid “human rights” thing is out of the way upstairs, his only remaining problem is the people who would rather live under the city, in old Detroit AKA “Motorcity”.  Kane’s like “well, time to destroy this dump and build More Deluxe! :)” and Motorcity is like “hey fuck u we literally live here” and Kane’s like “I don’t know I can’t read all of a sudden”.

Our main characters have chosen to combat his drones, nano-viruses and private army with COLORFUL AND ECLECTIC CARS.   Our main is an ex-commander from the aforementioned private army, his name is Mike Chilton and I love him.  He’s good at basically everything, and you would think that would make him obnoxious but actually he’s a reckless, adorable puppy-dog mom friend who likes helping and driving too fast and diving off buildings and believing in people.  He’s also canonically mixed-race, so that’s kinda neat.  

He’s a Good Boy.

(And yes, the people who did the character design were also involved in Gorillaz, personally I like the aesthetic of Motorcity way better but they are similar in a lot of places)

Cons: 

  • it got cancelled, so  there are only 12 episodes.  And it does take an episode or two for it to get its feet under it.  
  • YMMV, but I would say the first episode I really really liked was episode 5. (And not just b/c the Duke of Detroit is a fukkin gift, holy crap)
  • not enough ladies, and also they fall back on that thing that’s like “nerdy guy likes the Cute Girl, doesn’t take a hint” and it’s really annoying tbh.  Both characters involved deserved better.
  • Rule of Cool.  This show makes 0 sense sometimes, you gotta lean into that to enjoy it tbh.  It is a silly, silly show (until the finale, then it fukkin destroys me every time)

Pros:

  • Gorgeous, colorful backgrounds and character designs, super-unique style, #aesthetic for days.
  • a really fun, varied cast.
    • VILLAINS, the villains are so good.  Mark Hamill’s villain voice-acting is second to none.  A bizarrely flamboyant rock-star mob boss played by the lead singer of Twisted Sister, who is the embodiment of Chaotic Evil.  A disillusioned eco-terrorist with fascinating bio-weapons and a ruthless/single-minded obsession with doing the same thing to Deluxe that Kane wants to do to Motorcity.  
  • If you don’t mind some silliness/Rule of Cool, the episode plots are fun and I enjoy them. :)
  • Mike’s best friend is really anxious and scared of a lot of stuff and they’re adorably comfortable with each other and they have special nicknames for each other I’m sorry I have a lot of feelings about these nerds.  (can u tell what splickedy’s ship is lol)
  • There’s a lot of room for character interpretation and backstory and stuff, and a lot of implied worldbuilding that’s super fun to build on.
  • the creators are/were really cool with fandom, altho they’re busy with other shows now.  (the head writer retweeted one of my videos!! :D :D :D  I’m still super jazzed)
  • in conclusion it’s cute I love it and I love the characters.
Why We Need Stories about Dark Things

One of the things I get tired of from time to time is the perspective that if something shows evil behavior then that means the story, song, game, whatever, is inherently bad. But there is a difference between illustrating evil behavior and promoting it.

Not all appearances of bad behavior invite bad behavior.

While one purpose of storytelling is to entertain, another purpose is to teach or educate–a purpose that in today’s world, most people seem to have forgotten.

A long time ago, there used to be all sorts of horrific stories told. Open Grimms’ fairy tales, and you’ll see that Cinderella really isn’t that Disney-friendly. But often some of those older stories were meant to teach a lesson or scare children into behaving (that latter point is one I personally don’t condone). Horrific things happen in the Bible (and the Book of Mormon). We can often learn from these accounts, but some of them are simply a record of what happened (if you believe in that), whether you like the content or not. It is what it is. Conspiring incest, rape, slaughter, and even cannibalism can be found in scripture stories. In today’s world, most people have been conditioned to believe that stories are only meant to entertain. Or entertain and uplift.

Those two things are valid. But what I get tired of, though, is the perspective that all stories should be full of puppies and rainbows (yeah, that’s an exaggeration, but you know what I mean), and that’s what we should be writing, and if a story is dark, it’s “bad” or lesser or … something.

The World Needs Stories about Dark Things

It’s important we write about what I call “the big and heavies”–rape, addiction, suicide, massacre, societal brainwashing, etc. And when I say “we,” I don’t mean specifically that you or I HAVE to; I mean “we” as in us, writers and creatives everywhere. The world needs creatives who delve into the big and heavies, and here’s why:

1. Stories provide a safe means to explore and discuss dark things

The big and heavies are vital to discuss for a healthy society. We shouldn’t be turning a blind eye to dark deeds. We should be turning the right eye to them. Literature offers a safe way to explore and discuss these issues. It offers some distance (because it’s usually a work of fiction) while simultaneously having the ability to offer closeness–empathy.

Also, fiction provides a type of lens to view these behaviors through. Speculative fiction might have a more exaggerated or symbolic lens, such as the fashion industry of Panem in The Hunger Games, or the discussion of pure bloods in Harry Potter. A lens lets us view the issues in a way that may emphasize certain points or give us a new perspective on them, and again, the distance can provide a bit of a “safe” buffer for readers. We aren’t talking about racism; we’re talking about magical blood–and we can have a whole discussion on it that correlates with issues seen in racism, and no one needs to feel uncomfortable because this is about wizarding blood. Even realistic fiction provides a perspective, though less exaggerated, to see these issues through.

2. Powerful, emotional ramification drives home a point or idea or lesson.

Unlike reading text books or the news, fiction writing often works off making the audience feel something. It appeals to emotional experience, even more than intellectual experience. It is one of the only mediums where we can put on the skin and thoughts of another person.

In parts of society, we try hard to divorce intellect and emotion, but powerful emotional experiences are often what cement ideas and lessons into our minds. Back in the day, fathers used to take their children out to their property line and beat them so that the child would never forget where the property line was. We’ve seen similar conditioning with training wild animals. Both are crude examples, of course, but the emotional experience drove home the lesson. While negative emotions are powerful, this same thing can happen with strong positive emotions. We remember powerful feelings of happiness and of love, and if there are any lessons or insights associated with those, we recall those too.

In fiction, emotional experiences can drive home powerful lessons. And they stick with the audience.

Strong emotional experiences in fiction amplify the conceptual ramifications of dark deeds, and cements into the reader the weight of such behavior, in a way that pure intellect cannot. Once we “experience” an issue, we care more about it. Fiction is a vehicle that allows us to develop and fine-tune our empathetic skills, so we can better understand and relate to those who’ve dealt with such issues.

3. Explore, cognitively, the causes, consequences, and facets of the big and heavies

In the real world, we live our own lives in our own perspectives, and that’s it. In literature, you can include several perspectives of those involved with an issue. You can often see the issue’s causes, consequences, and facets to a degree you may not in your own life. You can see far-reaching effects in a matter of hundreds of pages, rather than decades or hundreds of years. This opens up new ideas, new perspectives on the topic, which leads to more discussion.

4. To provide hope and uplift, in spite of darkness. To overcome.

I sometimes see this weird idea that an uplifting story needs to not cross some invisible line too far into the dark. In some ways, that couldn’t be further from the truth. As a Harry Potter fan, I’ve had friends come up to me and talk about how they’re disappointed that the stories got darker and darker. Maybe I’m weird (okay, there’s no “maybe” about it), but I like that. I like stories getting dark. I like when they get darker and darker. I like my evil, evil. I want the Voldemort who tries to possess Harry to get Dumbledore to kill him. I want the Voldemort who tortured animals as a small child and who murdered others to split his soul into seven pieces. The world is often an evil place. And how much more powerful is it to overcome the bowels of the most wicked, than it is to overcome a guy who shoplifted? I like my evil, evil. Not because I want to be part of the dark, but because I like seeing people overcome it.

A story that includes dark materials can be just as uplifting, if not more uplifting (because of the contrast) than a story that doesn’t. The idea that a story can’t be dark and inspiring is just unfounded.

Every Christmas season, I become a fan of The Trans-Siberian Orchestra all over again. If you’ve never heard of them, you may still recognize some of their most iconic Christmas songs, some of which have gone viral on synchronized Christmas light videos.

What many people might not realize is that each of their Christmas albums actual tells, and comes with, a written story. If you see the Trans-Siberian Orchestra live, they will read the story to you bits at a time, interspersed with music. But not all their stories are about happy sleigh rides, warm fires, Christmas hams, and decorated trees. There are parents who abandoned their disabled children, babies born addicted to crack, love that has been lost. But the stories and albums are uplifting, not because the creators avoided dark subject matter, but because they illustrated the power of overcoming–overcoming difficult times and personal mistakes. It’s hard to make it through one of their performances with a dry eye through the whole thing.

5. To render reality–others’ reality or your own

But some stories aren’t necessarily meant to be about overcoming the dark or inspiring an audience. Some stories are just about reality. Human nature. The natural man. Experiences that people actually go through. Some stories are simply meant to render, often for reasons 1-3. It’s a statement. It’s meant to create social awareness, empathy. Maybe it’s meant to start a discussion. Those stories need to exist too.

Closing Thoughts

Keep in mind that many audiences only see stories strictly as mediums for entertainment and, on a subconscious level, a reinforcement of a positive, maybe even sugary, feelings and ideas. Those audiences may (on a subconscious level) refuse anything that is otherwise, and consider any mention of the dark and heavies as something that shouldn’t be there. That is their right.

And in some cases, they are correct. Some stories do not need and should not have dark content. It doesn’t serve the purpose of the story, it messes up the tone of the story, and it can ruin what was already working. You wouldn’t, for example, put in a serious plot line in The Office about Pam being legitimately raped. It doesn’t fit.

And with all that said, you shouldn’t feel forced to write content you feel very uncomfortable writing. Your work should reflect the writerly you.

Next week, I’ll talk about how to write about dark things without promoting them.

Ouat Con Chicago 2017 - Colin’s Panel
  • The girl who asked the 1st question just started crying because she was so excited & Colin was like “we’re off to a great start!” (x)
    • This girl was crying while asking Colin a question and ran down to hug her (x)
  • Most awkward scene with Jen:When he knocks himself out. W/ his stunt dbl. He had to kiss her I had to kiss her. It was awkward lol (x)
  • If he didn’t find emma, killing rumple would be his happy ending (x)
  • At the start of the panel, someone said “hey, gorgeous!” & Colin looked around & said “who are you talking to?” (x)
  • Colin said he’d be in Les Mis if he could be in any musical (x)
  • Colin knows a few bits and pieces about s7 and wants to see his relationship with Henry (x)
    • Colin said he’s most excited to see how Killian and Henry’s relationship has developed since becoming his step dad (x)
  • Hook and belle have a good friendship, he would look out for belle (x)
  • “Gideon……he tried to kill my wife.” (x)
  • Hook and Rumple……its complicated (x)
  • If Captain Hook had a Starbucks drink, what would its name be? Colin: “pirates booty?” (x)
  • The rings he had for the wedding were more for the sincerity of the moment (x)
  • Hook would be a dog person (x)
  • Colin started talking about how much he loves Buckley and how he brings him to set (x)
  • “Have I pulled any pranks. No, I’m a consummate professional.” (x)
  • Josh Dallas is apparently a prankster according to Colin (x)
  • Colin likes the guyliner over the leather pants (x)
  • His fave scene with Josh is where josh attacked king George (x)
    • Colin’s favorite scene with Josh was when Charming tried to attack George and Hook stopped him (x)
  • “But one thing is for sure love, with you I have everything.” Is his fave line from that song (x)
  • He didn’t think he would play Hook. He sees Hook as the Peter Pan disney version (x)
  • Colin thanks us for supporting the show, what an amazing (x)
    • Colin is thanking everyone for getting Once to S7 (x)
  • Colins fave episode is his first episode (x)
  • Colin said Robert Carlyle is one of his all-time favorite actors! (x)
  • Colin was a bit shocked when he found out he killed Charmings dad (x)
    • Colin liked the killing charmings dad plot because it shows how much he changed (x)
  • Colins fave Hook to play was old fat hook (x)
  • He loves playing pirate hook and he enjoyed playing dark!hook (x)
  • He would like to be remembered as a good father and husband outside of acting (x)
  • Colin said his grandmother’s love of theater influenced him to become an actor (x)
  • Colin did his Hook voice ahhh (x)
  • Colin said he had a great time working with Jen (x)
    • He likes working with everyone on the cast (x)
    • “Who’s your favorite actor/actress to work with?” “You’re going to get me in trouble” -Colin (x)
  • Colin said no to Hook having a mustache (x)
  • Colin says he stands differently when he wears Hook’s pirate outfits because the jacket is “so bloody heavy” (x)
  • If he wasn’t an actor, he would like to he a musician or an artist/painter (x)
  • Colin sometimes forgets to take off his make-up after filming so he’ll like go to the grocery store with his eyeliner still on (x)
  • “I’ve been lucky I’m playing this hugely layered character. I’ve been blessed I’ve been able to do that.” (x)
  • “What things do you have in common with Hook?” “I look like him.” (x)
    • “I have more in common with Emmas hook.” (x)
  • Colin’s advice to his kids and younger people is to always be honest. And believe in yourself. (x)
  • Hook’s defining moment to from villain to hero was when he sacrificed himself when he was Dark One (x)
  • “I should get my own line (of eyeliner)” - Colin (x)
  • Colin sings the musical songs in the shower (x)
  • “Emma helped him most of all because he changed for her,he wanted to do everything he could so he can be a better man and husband.” (x)
  • Colin likes making people cry  speaking about acting (x)
  • He likes being able to transport people from their lives and into a completely different place (x)
  • He’s speaking french now (x) And speaking irish! (x)

Videos:

(x) credits pic to @captainswansource

(x)

Alrighty here’s the masterpost for Hell’s Studio, I guess

So what the heckity heck is this au about?:

This AU spawned from a joke I made with @arsonsara about bendy looking all weird in-game because joey sucks at 3D modeling.

Basically, Joey Drew got the idea in his head that he could potentially bring his original characters to life, and then goes to do that. However, it’s not all that easy, and he ends up bringing Bendy into the real world completely off model as this hulking mess of sentient ink vaguely in the shape of a demon. Obviously Bendy is very frustrated by this. But on top of being off model, he finds even more frustration in the fact that Joey wasted precious time trying to perform a demonic summoning ritual when he could’ve spent it making the actual goddamn cartoon. Seeing how impulsive and distracted the guy can often get, Bendy decides to appoint himself the new head animator and co-producer of the show if they want anything to get done. And it all kicks off from there.

So this AU doesn’t have a big overarching plot or anything, it’s mainly just episodic and things just happen. Think of it like The Office of Parks and Rec. Most of it is goofy comedic shenanigans, but i guess there is some drama-ish stuff in there from time to time, idk it’s a mess. It’s been built off of people sending me cool ideas on Tumbler Dot Com.

I don’t intend on making an organized timeline for things that happen throughout the au because literally anything can happen at almost any time and it’s constantly being added to, so I’m just gonna list a bunch of important points about the characters and how things work.

this is kinda just so y’all have just one big post to reference.

So here we go there’s a whole heckin’ lot:

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The Only Exception (Part 1)

Summary: AU. Reader is given the task of running a popular love advice internet show when her coworker is fired. Her cynical attitude toward love makes her offer some harsh advice, and more than a few hearts are caught in the aftermath. Will hers be one of them?

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x reader

Word Count: 3,442

Warnings: language, fluff, wishful thinking, hot firemen, sarcasm, cynicism, bad jokes

A/N: Okay, so I saw a movie a long long time ago that was terrible, but it inspired the ‘bad’’ love advice and the firemen. I’ve been dying to have fireman!Bucky in one of my AUs.

And yes, the title comes from the Paramore song. I felt like it’s how reader feels throughout. Hope you guys like it. I had some writer’s block, and some house guests, so this is a little late being posted.

Part - 1 - 2 - 3 -

Originally posted by 8bit-arc-reactor

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Friends Part 4

Summary: You and Bucky are friends for a long time, but lately you start to develop romantic feelings for him. One day one of Tony’s parties everything changes but maybe not the way you wanted or expected.

Paring: Bucky x Reader

Words: 2643

Warnings: Fluffy, loads of Bucky being a cute pie some sexual innuendos and some sexual tension.

Thank you @amrita31199 you are amazing.

credits to the gif owner

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3

You take a sip of your coffee as you look at the computer in front of you; you are never going to understand why you accepted a job at the Stark Industries, sure they pay you really well but looking at budgets all day was starting to make you crazy.

To be honest, the budget in front of you is the least of your concerns, it’s been five days since Bucky went on a mission and you still haven’t heard from him. Usually, he texts you to let you know that he was alive and well. But so far nothing, according to Natasha they are fine but the mission is a lot more complicated than they anticipated.

You wish they would be home soon, you hated worrying much, you couldn’t sleep when you were worried.

You almost have a heart attack when you hear your phone ringing, you look at the id caller expecting it to be Dan but no it is Wanda. This is odd she never calls you “Hey Wan is everything fine?” Your mind goes to the worst scenario possible, afraid that something might have happened to Bucky.

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Kind of an epiphany I had in the emotional wake of T.AZ 68, bear with me.

Art that resonates and MEANS something is not the work of a moment. Sometimes, yes, impromptu moments of creative genius add to the overall masterpiece (Justin McElroy in T.AZ 66, for instance), but nobody sits down and creates their opus in one go, with no editing or review necessary. Griffin McElroy didn’t go into the Balance arc with self-admitted little experience in fiction writing and pound it all out in one go. He took time, and effort, and hours and hours of planning, and given the interactive nature of the medium, it took the inclusion of the rest of the Family McElroy to really give the story the heart and zing it needed. But it didn’t happen at once. It didn’t become something that makes devoted listeners weep in public and almost get hit by cars in one or two sessions. It took time. It took real time.

This is not a profound epiphany, but as a writer who struggles with creative perfectionism and procrastination and has for over a decade, this is something I, a “smart kid” growing up who got good grades effortlessly and didn’t pursue anything I wasn’t good at the first time I tried it, am still learning. I was incredulous, when Griffin said this was his first foray into fiction. I was almost outraged. Keeping in mind this is my first encounter with McElroy work, I was floored by the fact that a person who hadn’t done it before was already much better than me at the fiction game. And it’s a familiar train of thought that only leads down: so many people are so much better at this than me. I have nothing good to offer narratively. Everything I write is trite garbage. I wasted my years and money and time on a degree I can’t use for something I thought I was good at, but I’m not.

And, like, pardon my French, but

Fuck that shit.

The creative process is a PROCESS, implying steps and time and effort and metamorphosis. Eggs don’t drop from the chicken-womb and hatch as fully-formed chickens, they have to grow, and develop, and that’s just before they hatch. After hatching is a whole ‘nuther mother and this metaphor is getting away from me, but the bottom line is: art takes time. Art takes effort. Art takes metamorphosis, progressing from one stage to another in the piece’s growth as well as your own. Coming from someone with the gorgeous anxiety/depression cocktail I have, with student debt and a job unrelated to my field and living at home at 25, this is an important message to all artists: it’s okay to take it easy on yourself. It’s okay to create garbage. It’s okay to not be satisfied, and to try again, but it is NOT okay to stop. It isn’t okay to hang your head and decide your voice doesn’t matter. It IS NOT OKAY to stifle your artistic growth because you don’t think you’re good enough or worth it, or that because you didn’t get it right the first time, you aren’t good at it. This is as much an open letter to myself as it is to you. I am absolutely my harshest critic, and I am not fair to myself, and I haven’t let myself make the mistakes I need to make in order to grow. I’ve been afraid. I’ve been frustrated. I’ve been ambivalent.

I want to make the kind of art that gives people goosebumps and makes them cry. I want to make art that resonates, that sticks with people in the darkest times. I want to make a living thing, something that breathes and grows. And in order to do that, I have to put in the work. I have to make the effort. I have to stop being so hard on myself, and let nature take its course until I am the most beautiful creatively-fulfilled tasty chicken I never thought I could be.

So thanks, Griffin McElroy and co. Thanks JK Rowling, and Michael Dante DiMartino and Bryan Konietzko, and Bill Watterson, and Hiro Mashima, and Walt Disney Studios, and Joseph Fink and Jeffrey Cranor, and Hayao Miyazaki, and Rebecca Sugar, and hordes of other creative-types who have inspired me and continue to inspire.  Thanks so much for making stuff that makes me cry and want to be a better person as well as a better artist.

Thanks

Hopeless Romantic - Dylan O’Brien

Author: @mf-despair-queen

Characters: Dylan O’Brien/Reader

Word Count: 5513

Warnings: Extreme loads of Fluff

Notes: This took…longer than I expect (I also got distracted playing Persona and staring at Stuart while writing it). Its just…extremely cute really and something I can totally see Dylan doing because he’s a fucking sweetie and I love him.

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✰ * º ❛  new girl sentence starters.  ❜

‘  i don’t know which fork to kill myself with.  ’
‘  damn it! i can’t find my driving moccasins anywhere!  ’
‘  i’m really bad at making decision.  ’
‘  if i had a dollar for everybody i couldn’t hang out with because they hated you, i’d be so rich.  ’
‘  i just want to listen to taylor swift alone.  ’
‘  pink wine makes me slutty.  ’
‘  i’m like a mailman, except instead of mail, it’s hot sex that i deliver.  ’
‘  i don’t mean to be laughing, but are you okay?  ’
‘  i had figure skating lessons since i was thirteen and then my mom sobered up and realized i was a boy.  ’
‘  i don’t think it’s fair that women have an excuse once a month to act irrationally angry when the rest of us have to keep it together all the time.  ’
‘  this plan is officially the worst!  ’
‘  don’t pretend to know my pain.  ’
‘  you misspelled the word ‘rhythm’ 38 times.  ’
‘  i’m as mad as a dad in traffic!  ’
‘  i could do this all day, son!  ’
‘  you sons of bitches ready to party?  ’
‘  i’m dealing with a dingus.  ’
‘  you’re the most throat-punchable boy in all the world.  ’
‘  that’s like the president and the vice president not being best friends.  ’
‘  oh, goodness gracious! what are you, a sorcerer?  ’
‘  i can buy my own pizza! can somebody please loan me $15?  ’
‘  i gotta tell my best friend i’m in love with her.  ’
‘  i’m– i’m pregnant. i mean, you’re pregnant. we’re pregnant!  ’
‘  what kind of taco meat do you bitches have?  ’
‘  i think you need me too much.  ’
‘  i’m gonna be fine. i am. you know why? cause i met you. that’s why i’m okay.  ’
‘  i’m the voice of reason, that’s why you brought me with.  ’
‘  we didn’t bring you with. you followed us there in your car.  ’
‘  saturday is a day for sleeping, and damn it, you will not take that away from me!  ’
‘  i’ve seen his penis like… a million times.  ’
‘  he’s my best friend. what if he gets into an accident? what if he’s horribly disfigured and i have to identify him and all that remains are his private parts? and i’m standing there and i’m saying, ‘no officer, i can’t help you because no, i haven’t seen his penis’ and then boom! he’s buried in an unmarked grave.  ’
‘  people are the worst.  ’
‘  hey, do you have any snacks?  ’
‘  it’s a weird life, but it’s where i’m at right now.  ’
‘  i was put in an awkward situation and i reacted poorly.  ’
‘  it is perfectly fine to watch tv all day!  ’
‘  i am not a successful adult! i don’t eat vegetables and/or take care of myself.  ’
‘  as a matter of fact, i am tired and i am hungry.  ’
‘  if i don’t know what’s gonna happen, i don’t do something. ever. i don’t care how much i want to do it.  ’
‘  i’m gonna hit your ass with a ski.  ’
‘  i want to cover everything up on my body with bubbles.  ’
‘  how cute am i?  ’
‘  i’m a color-blind american citizen and i can’t do puzzles.  ’
‘  what’s your problem? don’t you want me to have a good night?  ’
‘  maybe if we get drunk then magically everything will just happen.  ’
‘  anything beautiful is worth getting hurt for.  ’
‘  every prank you do turns out either too big or too small.  ’
‘  it burns! it burns!  ’
‘  why does your hair look so baby soft?!  ’
‘  how do you get this thing off? get it off of me!  ’
‘  everyone drinks midori sours! it’s a melon liqueur!  ’
‘  what do i think the puzzle will look like? the pictures on the box. it’s a japense garden!  ’
‘  what the hell is wrong with you, just waving that thing around like an idiot?  ’
‘  give me the spot or i’ll kill you all!  ’
‘  i will shred myself! i will shred myself in the shredder!  ’
‘  that tastes disgusting, i don’t like it.  ’
‘  sometimes i feel like you’re in one of those weird man-dog body-switch movies.  ’
‘  where are your nipples, man?!  ’
‘  stop being so mean to me or i swear to go i’m going to fall in love with you!  ’
‘  i want you to get off my farm!  ’
‘  i don’t have a vagina!  ’
‘  this is my only face! i don’t have a lot of faces!  ’
‘  i refuse to pay for the wifey.  ’
‘  i don’t like it! it’s too much responsibility!  ’
‘  shall i compare thee to a summer’s day? no, a summer’s day is not a bitch.  ’
‘  gave me cookie, got you cookie! you gave me cookie, i got you cookie, man!  ’
‘  back off, i’m starving!  ’
‘  your job could be done by a vending machine.  ’
‘  i thought god just didn’t give me abs.  ’
‘  what you’re doing is illegal.  ’
‘  i’m not taking advice from you. you pronounce the ‘g’ in ‘lasagna’.  ’
‘  and i’m taking this remote because you always hit the info button by mistake.  ’
‘  are we all just living in the mind of a giant?  ’
‘  i don’t trust fish. they breath water! that’s crazy.  ’
‘  do i regret it? yes. would i do it again? probably.  ’
‘  i can’t work under pressure like this. you know i get nervous. i am just a man. i am not a god.  ’
‘  first order of business: we eat their food.  ’
‘  can i get an alcohol?  ’
‘  if you are for one second suggesting that i don’t know how to open a musical, how dare you!  ’
‘  the bees are back!  ’
‘  i haven’t gotten a non-text message in two years.  ’
‘  the only acceptable pet for a man to have is a saltwater fish.  ’
‘  the point of dating is just to keep on dating and then never stop. it’s like burning fossil fuels or seeing a therapist.  ’
‘  you ever wonder if someone in here has killed someone?  ’
‘  you realize i say ‘goodnight’ to you every night and you never say ‘goodnight’ back? what is your problem? do you not want me to have a good night?  ’
‘  i’ve made out with half of the people in this room.  ’
‘  i’ve had nightmares about making out with two of the guys in this room.  ’
‘  ah! son of a bi– …penis. that wasn’t better.  ’
‘  someone’s personalized condoms just came in the mail.  ’
‘  i just found a groupon for hypnosis lessons. think about what you could do with that! sex stuff.  ’
‘  has anyone seen my good peacoat?  ’
‘  hahaha. what a dumb idea. do it!  ’
‘  this is the coin i had in my pocket the first night we kissed. and i always have it.  ’
‘  i feel like i want to murder someone and i also want soft pretzels.  ’
‘  i hate doors!  ’
‘  suck it, mr. krabs!  ’
‘  no, i don’t dance. i’m from the town in footloose.  ’
‘  are you sure you’re okay? you’re walking like a disney witch.  ’
‘  he asked me if i wanted to watch planet of the apes. i didn’t know he meant right now.  ’
‘  would you eat your damn sandwich?  ’
‘  when you see a dog cage for sale, you buy it.  ’
‘  you know… i don’t get what’s going on here.  ’
‘  hey, you made a difference. how does it feel?  ’
‘  do you have a tank top i could borrow? you look about my size.  ’
‘  cheers to unemployment!  ’
‘  i was about to catch you but then you fell.  ’
‘  there are tampons hidden all around the apartment.  ’
‘  i think somebody had sex in my bedroom last night. i think that because they’re still in there having sex, i think.  ’
‘  please take that thing off. you look like a homeless pencil.  ’
‘  we are gonna make it!  ’
‘  i’m not ready to lose you. i just got you and i’m not letting you go.  ’
‘  i can think of five reasons why i wanted to be your friend: boob, boob, vagina, butt cheek, butt cheek.  ’
‘  actually, that’s not fair, she might be a really nice ho.  ’
‘  i’m not doing squats or anything. i’m just trying to eat less donuts.  ’
‘  you’re gonna be fine. you’re gonna meet somebody and you’re gonna fall in love.  ’
‘  who’s gonna… lay down a flag on this sweet, sweet continent?  ’
‘  i like to improvise with my body. i’m like a sexual snowflake. each night with me is a unique experience.  ’
‘  you can run away from your problems, but you’re just gonna find new ones that pop up.  ’
‘  i hope you like feminist rants ‘cause that’s my thing.  ’

lillshiro  asked:

Hii, I really love X-men (marvel in general) and I was wondering what kind of mutants the rfa+ V,Saeran and rika (vanderwood if u want) would be, but If you dont know them You can just ignore this if you want, Have fun writing! x

The first bomb begins.


Yoosung

  • For most of Yoosung’s life, he’s been able to understand animals (much to the envy of Saeyoung and Jumin)
  • Because he’s naturally smart, he is pressured to do well in school and behave
  • So, if Yoosung needs some me-time, he goes out to a grassy area and sits and waits for the animals to gather around him
  • More than once he’s actually been caught petting a deer while playing a game on his phone
  • Yoosung’s a Disney Princess

Jaehee

  • She’s got some form of super speed
  • Granted, Jaehee isn’t as fast as some mutants with super speed, but she’s infinitely more efficient
  • While Jaehee does have a lot of control over her powers, if she gets too tired or doesn’t concentrate properly, she’s very likely to crash into walls or hurt herself
  • Thankfully, her speed carries over to her healing as well, so she recovers fast enough that it’s not anything serious

Zen

  • Well, naturally, he has an unnatural healing ability
  • It’s interesting that it’s actually a mind based super power as he has to focus and force his body to heal, knowing every cell and what it has to do to heal himself
  • It’s nowhere near as fast as, say, Wolverine, but it’s fast enough that he’s able to recover from a broken bone or sprained ankle within minutes to hours (depending on severity)
  • Some speculate that he has some sort of hypnotic singing voice, but he doesn’t, he’s just a beautiful singer
  • Also, although he doesn’t advertise it, he has had a vision or two of the future in his dreams, but they’re infrequent

Jumin

  • if he weren’t a mutant, his superpower would be money
  • Jumin’s able to shift his body into diamond and back again
  • He’s able to manipulate this form and create diamond weapons or just straight up diamonds
  • Of course he wishes he could speak to cats, but unfortunately, he’s not so lucky and believe me he has tried to get Yoosung on his employee roster
  • Instead, he has an ability that can make him money and he can use to give people he likes nice things (also, he can spoil Elizabeth)
  • Would totally transform his hand and use the light refraction to play with Elizabeth

Saeyoung

  • Omnilingual
  • Aka, he speaks, reads, and understands all languages perfectly
  • Computer code, ancient Egyptian, and Korean all look the same to him
  • Not a super power, but he’s also super smart, and because he got to skip the step of “learning” new languages, he’s able to read a lot of books and how to hack better than anyone else
  • However, sometimes he misses something simple because he doesn’t realize that something is written in two languages for a deliberate reason that hints at the truth

V

  • He has enhanced senses and the ability to make super sonic blasts
  • So V is very good at knowing his surroundings at all times
  • He can detect anything new or wrong in his immediate area long before he even sees it
  • When V goes blind, he’s still able to see, but it’s different, and he’s not sure he likes it, but it’s interesting
  • The pictures he takes after he goes blind are drastically different in style, the critics say, but they’re still beautiful and his work continues to be adored

Saeran

  • Twins are often similar, but never the same
  • So while Saeyoung is omnilingual, Saeran isn’t
  • Instead, he’s telekinetic
  • He also has a little telepathy, but it only works with Saeyoung (twin telepathy for the win)
  • As a result, when he gets worked up or really emotional, Saeran loses control and things are either thrown or destroyed
  • When he was first rescued from Rika’s control, he had to be quarantined so that he couldn’t hurt anyone

Vanderwood

  • Human taser
  • Basically, he controls electricity and polarities and such
  • Vanderwood, when irritated or pushed, will simply raise his hand and have electricity arc between his fingers as a quiet threat
  • He’s also extremely useful to have around if something electrical breaks, because he can sense if the electricity isn’t passing through part of the machine, or if it’s an electricity problem at all

Rika

  • Rika… well, she’s got kind of a Queen Bee type power
  • In that, she produces pheromones that can warp and control a person’s mind
  • Now, people with strong minds or mental based powers, resist her control (such as MC and Saeyoung, Saeran to a lesser extent, and even V, although you wouldn’t know it because he gives into Rika’s will anyways, most of the time)
  • When her powers firsts appeared, her powers only appeared to make people more attracted to her, more drawn in, more interested in making her happy rather than anything else, and she used that to get people to donate money towards good causes
  • One day, someone tried to kill for her, misinterpreting her order, and Rika realized, if she could control people like this, she could change the world
  • Reshape it in a way that nobody would ever be unhappy or want for anything ever again (by taking away their free will)
  • Thus her descent into a power mad, world domination bent, villain

MC

  • MC would be a psychic
  • Probably with some form of ability to telepathically link people’s minds so that everyone can be on the same page
  • But she wouldn’t be strong enough to control or influence people
  • Although, be warned, she does have visions of the past, present, and future, so she could know more about you than you do
  • Not that she would tell you
Shameless Imagines 3- The future (Lip x reader )

Paring:Lip x reader 

Requested: No, This just came to me

Discription: After a day of babysitting you and lip are laying in bed when the topic of the future comes up and you both talk about what you want, with each other

Warning: just a lot of fluff 

Words:1053

Originally posted by lipgallaghersaysfuckyou


You laid in lips bed, which at this point had kinda felt like yours as well, you had spent so much time here it felt like you lived with him. Which honestly neither of you minded. Lip never wanted to be without you and you didnt want to leave him so it worked out.

You and Lip had spent the day watching Liam, which honestly you loved. Besides the obvious fact that you got to play with toys and watch disney movies lip knows you secretly love but the fact that he was so amazing with Liam and it made you fall for the boy even harder. 

Seeing him with Liam made you think about the future, with him in it. You had grown up wanting a family, with a big house and a loving husband, most importantly raising amazing kids and loving them with everything you had, to be anything and everything but your parents and that was your goal, to be everything to your kids, to be an amazing mom and nothing like your own.

“Hes all tucked in and sleeping. He told me to say thanks for an amazing day with his favourite girl and that I better watch out because he could take you. My 3 year old brother is gonna take my girl” Lip says taking off his shirt and lighting a smoke. A huge smile spreads across your face as you scoot down to the end of the bed, criss cross apple sauce next to your extremely hot boyfriend and take his smoke.

“Today was a pretty great day” You smiled passing the smoke back and leaning your head on his shoulder.

“This is why I love you, other girls would expect dates and flowers and things I cant afford or don’t have time for with everything in my family going on. But not you, you offer to help me. You are more than happy to sit and babysit with me all day, and laying in bed cuddling is so much better than going out” He saig bringing his lips to your forehead.

“I would babysit with you anyday everyday for the rest of my life. I don’t need expensive things that makes you have to work your ass off to afford, I don’t mind helping out your family because I love you and Im not going to let you suffer in doing it all by yourself, we are a team lip” You said. Out of the corner of your eyes you could see a smile on his face. 

When you and lip first started dating you were so fucking scared that it would just be a hook up, that he still had feelings for Karen and that in the end you’d be left heart broken. That was over a year ago and after lip telling you many times “This is so much fucking more to me than sex Y/n, I want this, I want you” and him staying for so long you allowed yourself to open up to him, allowed yourself to love him.

“Hopefully one day we won’t be babysitting, they will be our little ones running around” He said standing up going to change into shorts before coming back to lay down with his babygirl.

“You think about those things? Like the future?” You asked, kinda shocked if you were being honest. You thought about it all the time, you just didn’t think lip did.

“All the time actually. Before you I wasn’t like this, girls didn’t stay over, I sure as hell didn’t tell them I loved them and cuddling wasn’t something we would be doing. But now you staying over is almost an everyday thing and when you aren’t here I don’t sleep. I love you and Ill tell the whole world and I don’t feel complete without you in my arms so, looks like Im a changed man” He laughed at the end causing you to laugh, lip wasn’t the the boy who sat with you and blurted out his feelings, he only did it sometimes which you were okay with but when he did it made you feel like you were on cloud nine.

“Tell me what you think about” You said placing your head on his chest as his arms were wrapped around you.

“Well, as college is next year Im hoping to make it through and get an amazing job, You living with me of course. Im hoping I impress some rich people and get a really good paying job. Once we save enough money I will buy a huge piece of land and me and your brothers (Milkovich brothers) we will build you the house you’ve always dreamed about, adding as many rooms as we can and filling a few of them with the beautiful babies we make” Lip had described a future you had wanted so bad.

“I want that more than anything.. Seeing the way you are with Liam makes me want that with you so bad one day. I want my children-” You were cut off by lip.

“Our, you said mine but if you even think for a second that we won’t have that future together you are wrong.. You are my end game y/n. You are my first and last love and we will have adorable babies” He said, kissing the top of your head after, you had millions of butterflies and it was so amazing to hear him say those things.

“I want our adorable Gallagher-Milkovich babies to have the life we didn’t. No hitting, no yelling, no sadness and no brokenness, just love. Just us” You told him telling the truth. That right there, was all you ever fucking wanted.

“If someone ever hits my child I will get Svetlana on their ass faster then I can get Mickey on their ass. Our kids will never grow up having the lives we did and you will spend the rest of your life remembering that we aren’t our parents” He told you moving your head to be able to kiss you, he needed too. He needed to feel the love he felt once your lips connected to his.

“We are a team Lip, you and me and one day little ones” 

“We are a family Y?n” He said before you closed your eyes and fell asleep with the biggest smile on your face.

an espresso a day:


“Vic, I’m not that desperate.”

It’s the immediate response from Robert because all this fussing is almost embarrassing. He knows he hasn’t been himself lately, but it’s understandable considering his marriage is over.

It’s almost like everyone expects him to dust himself off and go again but he can’t because this is Aaron. This is Aaron who left three days ago and gave him no indication he was ever going to be ready to try this all again, when he was better.

The realisation hit Robert yesterday, sitting in the pub and nursing a pint. He’d realised that he couldn’t be anywhere near the scrap yard because Aaron was everywhere wasn’t he? He’d be forced to stare across his desk and see the empty chair where his husband used to sit, used to swivel like a little kid and drive him mad.

It would all make him miss Aaron even more, he couldn’t afford that type of heart ache. He was too fragile for that.

He’d left the scrapyard, hadn’t even bothered to pile his folders into the spare room at Diane’s which he’s decided to spend the rest of his days living in. It was dramatic but that’s how he felt at the time.

Now though, Vic’s in his room, hovering over him with a hand on her hip and telling him that he needs a hobby, that he needs to do something with his time, that Bob needs help in the cafe.

Vic rolls her eyes, “Robert you need this.” She says, like she knows what he’s going through, like she wasn’t the one who ended her relationship with Adam.

Robert pulls the sleeves up of his shirt and sighs. He can feel the pity radiate off her and it makes him want to run away, do what Aaron had the balls to do.

“I think the money I have can tell ya others.”

“Listen to me, I’m not having you hiding away in here.” It’s almost like a promise and Robert knows better than to ignore her.

So he raises his head. “And working in the cafe is going to do what exactly? Make me forget that I’ve ruined yet another marriage of mine?” It stings, it shouldn’t be this hard, he should be able to realise that it didn’t work for a reason and that he has to leave it alone. He has to stop thinking about Aaron all the time. But he can’t.

Vic is soft suddenly, comes closer and sits on the rickety bed that Robert cannot sleep in properly. “Aaron’s gone Rob,” it makes her brother wince. “He’s working on himself and you need to do the same by focusing your mind elsewhere. I promise it’ll do ya good.” She’s so hopeful and he’s so willing to feel that too.

So he agrees.



Bob’s nice enough. He welcomes Robert like he’s a long lost son (which could probably be true considering Bob and his reputation) But he puts his foot in it, a lot.

“Now, I don’t know how you and Aaron have your coffee but -”

It’s always him and Aaron. Everyone seems them as a pair don’t they?

Robert winces, gulps down and then sighs as Bob realises his mistake and decides that rambling out an apology is the only thing he can do.

“It’s fine.” Robert tries to smile, raise a hand and brush it off. None of it meets his eyes though and he stands there sheepishly waiting for the moment to pass and for his heart to stop feeling like it’s about to break down on him.

Bob shows him how to work the machines but it doesn’t take long because Robert is used to them. He knows where to press and when to wait and how to press and Robert can’t help but crave the gratitude Bob so readily gives.

In a daft weird way it makes him feel wanted, almost needed and it’s enough.

Sometimes Rebecca comes in and it’s awful. She’s growing bigger by the day and she always rubs her belly whenever Robert’s in sight. It’s weird, seeing her, knowing that she’s carrying his son, someone who will love him unconditionally and won’t leave. He should smile when she comes in but he doesn’t, he just pours her something creamy and topped with sprinkles and she lets him know that everyone is okay.


::


“Since when were you working here?” Bernice is suppressing a laugh, watching Robert stick a straw in a smoothie, as she taps her fingers against the counter and waits for his attention. “Didn’t think you’d stooped so low.” She mutters and that gets Robert’s full attention.

“Weren’t you working here a few weeks ago?” Robert retaliates because he’s sick of the looks he’s getting, standing there with a towel on his shoulder and his sleeves rolled up high.

Bernice leans forward, acts like she doesn’t want anyone to hear her as she speaks. “Is this to help get you over the whole Aaron fiasco?”

Robert blinks, his heart skips a beat. “Fiasco?” He wants to shout and make a scene but he almost can’t. It’s too embarrassing. Instead he just shakes his head. “He ended our marriage.” He reminds her like she needs to be.

Bernice politely excuses herself after throwing him a sorry smile. It doesn’t mean much but he won’t begrudge pity right now, it seems like his only friend at the moment.

Until Doug introduces him to his prized beetroot or whatever.


::


He’s getting used to it, the mundane aspect of serving coffee. He can’t help but be himself though, barks a little if a customer bites.

“Yeah well, she didn’t say please or anything, what am I?”

“A barista Robert, someone who serves coffee. That’s all.” Bob is a little too firm with his tone, knows it, sighs to ease a little tension between them. “Just hold back on the etiquette lesson eh?”

Robert feigns sincerity and obliges.

It’s a few weeks later when he sees him. Bob is banging on about treating Brenda and actually is asking for Robert’s knowledge about fancy wine places. Robert puffs out his chest, goes to speak and then he hears him.

He hears him laughing before he even sees him standing there, shock clear on his face because why is Robert working in the cafe?

Robert tries to hold his gaze, allows himself time to trace the marks of his face and hold onto it because it’s been too long. It’s been weeks. He has his hands tucked into his pockets and he’s wearing a blue jumper, Robert thinks it’s new because he hasn’t seen it before. Suddenly he can’t help but wonder what else is new about him, what else has changed for Aaron whilst everything else has stayed the same for him?

Aaron doesn’t order anything, does this awkward u-turn after Bob greets him. Robert hears something about the scrapyard and being busy and he knows it’s a lie, appreciates it all the same though.

He can’t concentrate after Aaron’s gone, he nearly burns his hand and then passes over a tenner instead of a fiver and Bob has to intervene and prize it away from Kerry.

He’s in his head again, swimming, almost drowning every thought Robert had when he wasn’t around. Robert stands back and realises how he looks as he sights himself in the glass of the coffee machine.

He’s got hair sticking out in all the wrong places, cheeks flushed and pink, and a purple apron fixed tight around his waist with an extra tea towel lounging awkwardly over his shoulder. In short, he looks like shit. Shit that Aaron saw.

“How about you get off?” Bob says, there’s that voice again, the one soaked with pity.

Robert just blinks at him and then he’s hearing the sound of someone coming in.

Of course it’s her, with her hand over her stomach and a patterned blazer obviously becoming too tight for her now she’s getting bigger.

“I just saw - I mean, I know that - I know Aaron’s back.” She stammers, head down then tilted then down again and Robert wants her to leave already.

“And what?” Robert says, feels the atmosphere become thick with tension all of a sudden. “Just stay out of his way alright? He doesn’t have to be reminded all the time.” He points directly to her stomach and she shields it almost protectively and yeah, within seconds Robert feels like a Disney villain again.


::


Diane calls him pet a few times and gives him a milky tea, hand on her hip and a small smile on her face.

“I suppose he had to come back sometime.” She reasons, sitting beside her step-son and shrugging. “How did he seem?”

That’s a good question Robert thinks, slumped against the chair in the office and a hand already fiddling with more paper to make more airplanes. He thinks about how Aaron looked at him, an eyebrow raised and his mouth ajar. “Surprised. But maybe that had something to do with me working in the cafe.” He folds over one of the corners of the paper and sighs. “Other than that, he was almost vacant you know? Like he didn’t even care.”

It hurt, thinking back to it. It hurt because why did his heart still skip a beat when Aaron’s stayed the same?

“I’m sure he did.” Doug comes out of nowhere and slaps him on the back for some reason. “He just needs time.”

“For what? To work out I’m a loser and he’s better off alone? I think he’s done all that already.” That scares Robert the most, the thought of Aaron being completely over him now that his head is clear. “I need to do something.”

Diane pulls one of her worried faces and Robert frowns at her.

“Think of it like a flower,” that’s when Robert wants to dart out the room but Doug stops him. “Aaron’s a flower, and you’re a watering can.” Even Diane pulls a face. “You can’t keep pouring water into it, can ya? It’s going to overwhelm the poor sunflower and then it’s going to -”

“Yeah I get it.” Robert waves a hand out, doesn’t want to get it but he does. “Just because Aaron’s back, nothing has changed, he would have come and seen me if it had right?”

Diane nods her head. “Yes love, and he hasn’t. So you’re going to focus on you and not trying to make him take ya back okay?”

Robert feels like he’s giving up, giving in and he hates himself because he’s not a quitter. He hates losing.

But this is different, this isn’t about a contract or a partnership. This is about Aaron, who isn’t happy with him at all, who can’t be with him.

He blows out a long breath, folds another corner over and holds up the airplane, agrees to Diane’s words just as he lets go and watches it dance around the rom for a second before falling down to the ground.


::


It’s relaxing, the way the coffee grinds away softly and then pours right below the brim so that it doesn’t overflow. Robert likes adding cream, swirling it round and adding sprinkles for Rebecca.

They’ve reached some sort of compromise. It helps that he works closer now, that they can catch up over a coffee or whatever.

“How’s he doing?” Robert always asks, always wants to know now that his baby seems to be the only person who doesn’t hold some resentment towards him.

Yet.

Rebecca always smiles, glows when he’s mentioned. “Perfect.” She hums, closes her eyes as she speaks.

“And how’s his daddy?” Robert doesn’t like speaking about himself, doesn’t like speaking too deeply about anything with her because it’s weird and it’s almost too personal.

“Getting by.” Robert offers with a shrug. He’ll keep the truth to himself.


::


Aaron comes in one day, of course he does, and he waits in the queue with his head down. Robert serves slowly, doesn’t know why but he just can’t speak to him. He has this awful thought that Aaron wants them to be mates and he just can’t be. Mates tell each other things, what could he possibly tell Aaron now?

He’s thankful when Adam storms in, mouthing off about Aaron leaving the van in the middle of the road with the keys in. For a second Robert wants to raise his head and call him an idiot, but then he remembers and he disappears into the back instead, only hears the sound of Aaron’s boots leaving the shop.

It’s closing time, Robert’s polishing down the tables and Vic’s in his ear. She’s saying something about Rebecca’s room and how it’s all coming along and Robert’s trying his best to act interested.

The bell goes and there’s the sound of feet coming though the door. It’s Aaron.

“Alright?” Aaron nods at Vic and then he’s slowly looking across at Robert, clenching his jaw the way he does when he’s nervous.

Robert stills, hand growing wet as he squeezes the damp cloth and the sound of the clock ticking by becoming too unbearably loud.

“Yeah.” Robert forces out, standing up straight and awkwardly pulling the towel of his shoulder. “Yeah I’m fine.” He lies.

Aaron nods his head, eyes looking towards the floor and then darting up again. “I just wanted to say uh - some of your stuff is - I’ve packed it up, left it at Diane’s for you.”

Robert feels like he’s being punched over and over again and he wonders if Aaron wants to hear thanks. Surely not?

He just nods his head and looks back down towards the table as Vic looks between them both like she’s watching Wimbledon.

“And your - your haulage stuff is there as well.”

It doesn’t even seem hard for Aaron to get out. Maybe it isn’t. Maybe Adam will high five him as soon as he leaves and they’ll laugh their heads off about it.

“Okay.” Robert almost whispers, knows that he’d have to take it out of the portacabin eventually, didn’t think Aaron would find it so easy to do.

Did he pack away the picture of Liv and me at our wedding day? Robert thinks as Aaron shuffles back towards the door.

“How are ya?” It drops out, unexpected, almost wrong in his mouth.

Aaron just blinks at him for a few seconds, eyes wide and then they almost glaze over. “Fine.” He says, it’s clear that he doesn’t know what else he can possibly say. “Better.” That’s more appropriate Robert thinks.

“Good.” He says, then Aaron leaves and Robert learns how to breathe again.


::


Bob is well up to date with the dramas of Robert’s life, knows when to push and when not, knows that it’s probably best if he serves Aaron if he ever comes in. It’s rare though and Robert likes it that way because it saves an awkward small talk that they both almost feel obliged to go through.

It gets colder outside, crisper and there’s a crackle of something in the air. Rebecca blooms and Robert dares himself to feel excited about it all for a few seconds.

He kicks in her stomach, the baby, and Robert feels it, over the counter, hand pressed firmly on her belly and something melting in his chest as he feels it.

The feeling dies though, because Aaron comes in and he’s laughing again, and some bloke who isn’t Adam is laughing with him. Something stills in Robert’s chest and he feels cold, pulls away from Rebecca like it’s completely and utterly wrong and then he’s dashing behind the counter again.

He watches Bob serve Aaron, make idle chat and then he asks him about the bloke and Robert doesn’t know whether to kiss or slap him. Aaron’s all cryptic though and oddly doesn’t even give Rebecca evils as she smiles at him.

Maybe it’s progress. Maybe it’s a sign. Maybe he’s moved completely on.


::


Robert doesn’t stick around to see how close Aaron sits next to the bloke, the bloke with a chiselled jaw and a blush on his cheeks and a floppy fringe, but fuck he thinks about it.

He sees them again, three days later, this time he can’t escape because Bob’s gone to pick up a delivery. Aaron pushes at the blokes shoulder and the twat laughs, gestures to a seat near the counter and then Aaron’s pointing near the door. Robert blushes when he thinks about that being for his sake.

“Just two coffees, please.” Aaron says, can’t lift his head.

Robert wishes he could, wishes that it was easy considering it’s been a while now. But it isn’t, they’re stuck in this cycle of regret and awkwardness and it’s almost tragic.

“Yeah, to go?” Robert tries to make out he doesn’t know exactly what Aaron wants.

Aaron bites his lip awkwardly and then shakes his head. “Nah, just -” he scratches his eyebrow and then blows out a breath. “So. You. Working here. Never thought I’d see the day.”

Robert’s eyes flicker and he remembers hands over Aaron’s, too comfortable on their sofa, laughing about Robert’s need to tell everyone about how to make the perfect coffee. It was bliss then, it’s a shame Robert didn’t really figure that out in time.

“Yeah well, someone had to teach the world about how to make the best coffee.” It rolls off the tongue, it’s easy and Aaron’s eyes almost twinkle as he fights back a laugh, rolls his eyes instead.

“I suppose so.” Aaron almost whispers back, hands dancing too close to the till, too close to *Robert and he pulls back, turns towards the twat waiting for him and Robert takes the hint. He actually does his job, does it well and nods at Aaron who takes the mugs with thanks.

Robert tries not to burn a massive ‘Fuck You’ sign into the back of the twat’s head as he listens to them speaking. It’s irritating. Not loud enough for him to actually string a sentence together but not low enough for him to be able to ignore.

They stay almost until closing time and Robert thinks it’s out of spite or something, then remembers it’s Aaron he’s talking about and thinks against it as quickly as he can.

The twat leaves and Aaron stays and six o'clock rolls by, and Robert’s locking up, Aaron’s still there. He’s just sitting there on his phone, like he needs to say something.

He does. It’s serious and Robert feels it hit his gut.

“Liv’s back tomorrow.”

He doesn’t expect it to ache but it does.

“She knows enough. I know that me and you are hardly shooting daggers across the room but we stay out of each other’s way nice enough don’t we?” Robert just nods. “I need it to stay that way Rob.”

Something fizzles inside Robert as he hears the nickname but he tries his best to fight against it. “I get it Aaron.” It comes out of nowhere, it’s this bubbling anger. It’s an almost ‘how dare you try and say I’d make things hard for Liv?’ “I know exactly how you want this to be.”

Aaron’s hurt, it’s clear, he gulps and then shuffles on his feet. “I didn’t want any of this.”

It’s suddenly too deep too soon and Robert wants it to be over. “We’re closing now -”

“- walking in on you rubbing her stomach, seeing ya every day and seeing her - you think I wanted this?”

He’d seen that?

Robert shuts his eyes, he was kidding himself if he ever thought they had reached a soft sort of state. They’d never be like that.

“All I know is you didn’t want me. Or my baggage. Don’t remind me Aaron.” He was so strong and then his voice breaks and he disappears round the back, waits for Aaron’s footsteps to die out and for the sound of the door to slam.


::


Diane gives him another milky tea and Doug buys him shortbreads and they chat about it, Robert finds it easier now to get it all off his chest with them.

“He hates me.” Robert offloads, shuffles in his chair and reaches out for a piece of paper to fold. “I could see it in his eyes, clear as day.” Diane brushes a hand over his knee. “He saw me feel the baby kick?”

Doug tuts, “Well that’s probably understandable isn’t it?”

Robert raises his head sharply. “And what do you say about him laughing and joking with some guy?”

Dough goes to speak, decides against it as he pushes forward another shortbread and shakes his head.


::


It’s a bad day, he had a dream about Aaron and it made him cry like a little boy in the middle of the night. The next thing he knew, he was climbing out of the bed, reaching over and Aaron’s ring was in his hand. It was cold to touch, too cold and it almost felt like dead weight in his hand.

He decides he needs it close to him, maybe it will stop the nightmares, so it’s round his neck now and he promises to never take it off.

Because that’s healthy.


::


There’s an order in, Bob’s gone mad and overdone it on the bakery items and Robert’s been left to sort it out.

He’s rolling his eyes as he counts the cream slices and the blueberry muffins and then he’s stopping all of a sudden because the massive cookies are right in front of him. The ones that Aaron adores, the ones bigger than his face with the smarties and huge chocolate pieces wedged in.

It hits him so hard that he almost falls back, he’s ridiculously love sick and it aches. “Those are Aaron’s favourite.” He whispers, more to himself than anyone else. But Bob is Bob, slams a hand over his pack and then squeezes his shoulder and yeah Robert finds comfort in it more than he probably should.


::


Liv comes in and sees him and it’s so painfully obvious how hurt she is.

It’s in her eyes and the way she gradually approaches the counter with hesitation.

He wants to hug her, say he’s sorry but he can’t because the words get stuck in his throat and she just stares at him.

“I’ve been waiting to give you a chocolate cream swirl with extra sprinkles you know?” It’s pathetic, he’s expecting her to turn right around and tell him to never speak to her again but she doesn’t, instead she just nods a little and then she’s shaking her head at him.

“Why are ya such an idiot eh?” Her eyes are watery and she’s grown, she’s taller and probably wiser. Maybe she sees things differently now, maybe that’s why Robert’s still got his head on his shoulders.

The cafe is hardly busy, just Jimmy in the corner trying to avoid Nicola, so he comes round the counter and he holds her close to him and she lets him.

It feels too natural for words.


::


A few days go by and Aaron’s back, the same bloke is back too and he’s wearing this checkered shirt which does absolutely nothing for him.

Bob’s got them offering a pumpkin latte nowadays and Robert almost winces when he has to ask Aaron if he’s interested. They haven’t really spoken since Aaron let slip that seeing Robert with Rebecca still wasn’t easy or whatever.

Aaron’s got his scarf tucked into his oversized black jacket and he raises an eyebrow at the request. “Nah. Just two -”

Robert knows his order, “Yeah alright.” He says before turning his body around and wondering if Aaron will leave.

He doesn’t though, he stays and Robert turns around and stares at him properly. There’s something lighter in his eyes and he hates to think that the checkered twat is making it that way.

“I’ve been meaning to have a chat with you.” Aaron says, clears his throat.

“You never were big on chat.” Robert says, hand pressed against the counter and a small frown on his face.

“Yeah well, I just wanted to say that I’m sorry for snapping the other week.” It seems almost pathetic, to apologise now.

“You don’t have anything to be sorry for.” Robert shrugs. “You’re moving on.” He looks straight towards the twat and misses the look on Aaron’s face. “And I’m trying to focus on that too.” He says, cheeks flushed a little and the sound of hot milk pouring into a mug making the atmosphere feel less tense around them.

Aaron bites his lip. “I’m glad we both are.” He says, something sad in his voice that Robert wants to ignore because thinking too deeply about what Aaron wants only makes it hard to breathe.

Robert tilts his neck a little and then his eyes widen as he sees that Aaron’s eyes have fallen onto his neck, the chain. He pushes his head back up and when he looks up Aaron’s attention is elsewhere.

“Yeah.” Robert lies, hands over the coffees and disappears into the back again.


::


So, Rebecca gets a friend, or gets back in contact with a friend and then suddenly they’re always in the cafe.

Robert doesn’t mind seeing her, watching her lounge about in her flowery dresses, because he’s seeing his son as well and that layer of guilt and distance he once felt for his own child isn’t there any more. He hates to think it’s because Aaron isn’t there anymore either.

The friend’s name is Charlotte, she’s a pretty thing, bright green eyes and brown flowing hair which is annoying plaited like Rebecca used to do before she was always tired or crying or both.

“So, you the baby daddy then?” She’s posh too, eyes shimmering at Robert as if she’s interested in him.

Something stirs inside Robert and maybe he’s interested too.

“Sure am.” Robert says, doesn’t know where to put his face. “You want another coffee or something?”

Charlotte leans a little closer, “Bex hasn’t told me the ins and outs, just that you’re not together, never were really.” She’s doing that weird almost flittering almost judging you thing and Robert still doesn’t know where to put his face.

“Yeah well that’s true.” Robert looks up at her, tries to smile and realises he didn’t give her appearance enough credit, she really is beautiful. “Why’d you care so much?”

Charlotte does this shy smile thing and pulls her hair behind her ear whilst shrugging. “Oh I don’t know, many reasons.” She says, makes something rise in Robert’s stomach.

But then she’s looking down at his hand, at his ring and she’s widening her eyes for a second. Then Aaron’s coming through the door, alone this time, and his face is almost falling and Robert wants the ground to swallow him up.

“I really haven’t been filled in then.” Charlotte says, tries to laugh it off but her cheeks redden in embarrassment.

Robert goes to speak, sees Aaron hovering nearby and he can’t get his words out right.

So Rebecca struggles to stand up and Charlotte helps her up and they both scurry off to whisper about how pathetic Robert Sugden is and always will be.

Aaron just stays there awkwardly, orders a massive cookie to maybe just tug at Robert’s heart strings that little bit more and then he’s asking if Robert’s okay.

“Do one Aaron.” He doesn’t mean to be unkind, just hates how he’s feeling.

Aaron doesn’t, just raises an eyebrow. “I didn’t do anything.”

Robert feels tears well his eyes, thinks he’s crazy for getting so emotional. “Yeah, you don’t even need to though do ya. You just walk in here and make it impossible for me to move on just like you are -”

Aaron looks like he’s going to cry, shakes his head and frowns. “I’m sorry.” He blurts out. “Liv thought it would be alright if we tried to be -”

“It’s too hard Aaron.” Robert whispers, head down. “Being your mate? Getting along? I can’t Aaron. Please.”

Aaron nods his head, tenses and goes to speak before deciding against it, leaving.


::


Rebecca’s only got a month left until she pops and Robert would be lying if he says he doesn’t want to meet him already.

He’s thrown himself into that life, the one where he’ll be a dad next month and he’ll have to completely forget the life he had with Aaron.

Aaron. He hasn’t shown his face for a while, Liv has though and she’s becoming herself around him again.

All it takes is a strawberry smoothie and a brownie after school everyday and yeah, she’s not hating him as much anymore.

“How comes you and Aaron are still so frosty?” Liv asks, pointlessly sucking the straw despite knowing it’s already empty.

Robert stops buttering a roll and raises his head. “We’re not. I just told him I couldn’t be his mate, that’s all.”

Liv raises an eyebrow. “Yeah I gathered that.” She says, annoyed. “It would explain his conversation with Adam the other night.”

Now Robert’s intrigued.

“Oh yeah?” He puts down the knife and gulps. “What was that about?”

Liv squints her eyes and using the chair next to her as a stool despite how many times Robert keeps telling her not to. “Like I’d grass.” She says, like there’s loads she can’t say. “Let’s just say, he thought it was a good start, being mates with ya for once. You saying you don’t want that was sorta like a slap round the face.”

Robert’s eyes flutter because he can understand why it would be but - he still feels the same. He still can’t quite understand how they’d ever be mates.

Rebecca’s shuffling through the door and complaining about being hot, it gives Robert the chance to think of something else for a little while as he helps her sit down and reminds Liv to keep her feet on the ground.


::


He thinks he maybe should apologise to Aaron, explain himself, be able to talk like a normal adult but he bottles it.

Instead he gets roped into painting Rebecca’s room and finds it weirdly relaxing. So he starts painting in his spare time like a loser. Doug keeps telling him it’s great, says he can take up gardening next if he wants and Robert tries his best to smile through the embarrassment.

Liv’s impressed by his painting, says that the colours look well together and he can’t explain why it makes him so happy.

He pushes his confidence into his son’s room, starts drawing trees on the walls and even Vic is impressed.

He doesn’t ache when he thinks about Aaron for a whole two days.

But then he sees him again. He looks good, he always does but he looks better than usual. He has a tight shirt on, muscles on show, hand ruffled through his hair and the checkered shitbag is with him.

He hasn’t seen said shitbag for a while but seeing him standing there, smiling at Aaron and then sitting himself down, it’s enough to make his blood boil.

He makes them their coffees, gulps hard and attempts to say something to Aaron but he’s already gone back to his seat.

Robert watches them like a nutter, wonders if they are actually dating now that he’s becoming a firm fixture by Aaron’s side. He makes Aaron smile, rolls his eyes a little and chuckle as he sips his coffee and Robert hates him. He thinks about grilling Liv but then thinks against it because the last thing he wants is for her to think she’s being used only for that when it’s not the case.

It’s near to closing time, music around the cafe soft and slowing and Bob is running off to get the kids so Robert has to lock up again. They’re still sitting there and he tries to busy himself by the tables near the till so that he isn’t going full on stalker mode.

“How about we get out of here?” The twat asks, hands dancing close to Aaron’s. “Back to mine?”

Robert wants to be sick, nearly is.

“I’m not ready for that,” Aaron hisses and Robert’s legs turn to jelly. “Ya know I’m not, it’s all too new, too fresh.”

“Maybe it has something to do with us sitting a few feet away from the scumbag.”

Robert wants to throttle the twat and chuck him out of his cafe, well Bob’s cafe, but then Aaron’s frowning harsh.

“It’s not that. Well yeah, but - Luke we have a laugh don’t we?” Aaron sounds like he’s nervous and Robert hates how this Luke is making him feel. “It’s just a bit too soon.”

It should be enough, Robert goes round the counter and tries to empty the steaming coffee and then he sees Luke squeezing round Aaron’s upper thigh and then hears the scrap of a chair and -

To say he’s scalded himself is a bit dramatic, but there’s steaming hot coffee boiling his hand and fuck it hurts.

“Shit, shit shit, fuck -” Robert’s swearing his head off and Aaron’s staring at him with wide eyes, leaving Luke to make his way out of the cafe.

“You idiot.” Aaron chastises him, runs off to get a cold towel and presses it against Robert’s hand.

Robert wonders if he feels it too, the spark that surges between them still. It makes Robert shudder but Aaron just stands there, looks exactly the same.

“This was bound to happen.” Robert winces, takes the cloth from Aaron and runs the tap, ice cold water shocking him as he looks at his red hand. “Looking any better?” He wonders, tilts his head towards Aaron and then looks at the younger man who’s eyes are fixed on the silver band which Robert still wears.

“Yeah a little.” Aaron clears his throat and then chews at his lip. “Sorry about you seeing that, or hearing that, with Luke.”

Robert hates how Aaron apologises to him, hates it so much.

“Seemed keen.” Robert tries to joke, it doesn’t meet his eyes though.

Aaron rolls his eyes and then he’s signing hard, pressing his back against the counter. “It was moving too fast anyway.” He says, “We weren’t, we *never -”

“You don’t need to talk to me about that Aaron. Any of it. It’s not my place anymore.” Robert snaps, the thought of hearing about lucky fellas getting their hands on Aaron makes him want to cry.

Aaron turns red. “What do we talk about then?”

Robert cringes, his hand is wrapped up in the cloth still as he stands there awkwardly. “We don’t have to Aaron. I don’t know what you want from me, what you want me to say.” Aaron goes to speak. “Because I can’t talk to ya about what I was doing last night.” Aaron turns a shade paler and Robert shakes his head, tries to communicate that it wasn’t anything fruity or whatever. “I was painting Rebecca’s room for the baby, the baby who will be here this time next month Aaron.”

He sees the way Aaron’s face drops, he sees the hurt in his eyes and then the way he gulps.

“That isn’t going away.” Robert promises Aaron, realises that they needed to say this to each other, that they still seem to need to hurt each other for the greater good. They’ll never move on properly if they don’t.

Aaron nods sadly, “Neither is that though is it.” He whispers, points towards Robert’s ring and then he’s fighting back tears and Robert feels like a dick.

“I’m sorry.” Robert explains. “I’m sorry I can’t let go of it yet.”

Aaron shudders, suddenly pulls his hand up and strokes Robert’s cheek, turning the older man’s body to jelly again as his heart practically melts in his chest. “I get it.” He says, lets his hand linger, lets Robert become haunted by the tears in his blue eyes and then his gone again.


::


Robert paints again tonight.

Paints his feelings or whatever.

Only uses blue paint.


::


Rebecca has a full on break down and Robert doesn’t see it coming.

She suddenly thinks she’s useless, rubs her belly protectively as she sits in the rocking chair Vic bought her and cries her heart out.

“I’m no expert but I doubt that’s good for the baby.” Robert reasons because he hasn’t mastered a soft voice for Rebecca yet. He only has one for Vic and Liv and *Aaron. He passes her a tissue, watches her chest heave up and down as she takes it.

“I don’t know how to do this.” Rebecca flies a hand up, eyeliner smudge, mascara races down her face. “Robert, I can’t do this.”

Robert gulps hard, comes closer towards her. “Where’s this come from?”

Rebecca hesitates like she wants to keep it to herself and then she sighs heavily. “Saw Aaron today, he wished me luck for everything.” She pulls a face. “He was kind, better than before. I felt this pain in my stomach and he -”

Robert’s eyes widen in panic that he didn’t know was even there in his heart.

“He sat me down, asked Bob to get me a tea.” Robert goes to speak and she shakes her head. “You were sorting a delivery, I specifically didn’t want him calling you out.”

Robert thinks about Aaron helping her and something twists in his chest. He doesn’t know how exactly to feel. Surprised? Maybe, because Aaron had said awful things before, he basically said he’d be glad if the baby died and now he was helping keep the baby okay.

“If he wasn’t there, I might have lost him, through my sheer panic.” Rebecca rolls her eyes. “I would have drove to the hospital -”

“We said you weren’t going to drive any -”

“Exactly.” Rebecca shudders, rubs her stomach again and flicks hair out of her way. “I’m ridiculous.”

Robert has a hand on her knee. “Yeah well what does that make me?” She manages to smile at him and he feels like he did when he was younger, when Rebecca used to smile at him like he was the only light in the world. It tugs at his heart a little and he wants to protect her. It’s like she’s a younger sister, one who has wronged him, one who he has wronged too.

“I’ll be here.” Robert says, “And we’ll love him as much as we can, I guess.”

Rebecca frowns, “You guess?”

“I know.” Robert corrects.

And he does, he really does know.


::


Adam’s always had a big mouth, it’s just a standard thing really.

So yeah his booming voice carries through the cafe and he hears him gossiping with Bob as he passes him over sandwich.

“Between you and me, he’s eating his words. I mean, he wanted to push for the whole mates thing and it didn’t work out right.”

Robert backs away, manoeuvres himself into the little side room and listens in.

“You’ve got to see how hard that must be for him though, being mates with Aaron would have been hard.”

“Yeah I know, it could have led to something though.” Adam sighs. “You never know.”

“What with his baby on the way?” Bob makes sense, Robert loves Bob. “I doubt he’d be on board now.”

“Well maybe he just wants Robert to try.” Robert rolls his eyes, he isn’t psychic. “Again. Maybe he’s ready.”

Something bubbles in Robert’s chest and he fights back a smile.


::


Robert has another dream about Aaron. He’s standing there, arms outstretched, tears in his eyes and he says: ‘I still miss you.’

Robert has to rub Aaron’s ring a few times before he settles down again, suddenly realising that he needs to try and get Aaron back again.

One last time.


::


Aaron comes in with Adam, it’s freezing outside and he comments about it, of course he does, he’s always moaning about being cold.

“Yes Robert,” Adam’s got into the habit of slamming his hand down on the counter and Robert always has to roll his eyes. “Two coffees, one slice of toast and a bacon sandwich for me.”

Robert sighs. “I’m not doing bacon.” He says, “It spits out at me and I’m not going through that for you.” He says, voice dry and a smirk on his face that makes Adam scowl.

“Well thank God, Bex is the one pushing out your kid eh?” Adam says roughly, no bite in his words as he turns back towards the sofa.

Robert waits until he’s gone to use the loo before he comes over and settles the coffees down, passes over Aaron’s toast and then a cookie too.

“Didn’t order that.” Aaron says, phone in hand as he points towards his favourite cookie they sell.

Robert nods, “It’s to say thanks, Bex told me you helped her the other day.”

Aaron looks almost embarrassed and flushes pink. “No bother.” He says, “It was no big deal.”

Yet it was. It was a massive deal to Robert and he doesn’t know if Aaron can work that out.

“Yeah well it was to me.” Robert stands awkwardly over Aaron and then bites the bullet, sits opposite him. “You know, after everything …”

“I wasn’t myself when I said all that.” Aaron’s eyes flicker up to Robert’s like he wants him to hear this. “Do you know that?”

It seems suddenly vital that he does, it seems like Aaron wants to scream it at Robert until he does know that he’d never want to harm Rebecca or their baby.

“Yeah. I know you Aaron.” Robert whispers, tilts the plate towards Aaron and smiles. “Enjoy.” He adds before he’s up and away and he’s missing the smirk on Aaron’s face as he eats.


::


It’s getting colder, Rebecca’s about to drop and Robert’s life is beyond hectic whilst Aaron’s seems to be going at a soft pace.

Everyone’s wanting a hot chocolate nowadays.

Bob helps him step it up a gear (the whole ‘get Aaron back’ operation)

He orders this funny shape maker and Robert can’t help but get this silly love sick cheesy idea which usually makes him feel sick.

He starts dusting smiley faces into Aaron’s hot chocolates.

“You are pretty love sick aren’t ya?” Liv comes in, smirk on her face and Vic walking with her.

Robert instantly feels like he’s in for a grilling or something.

“He’s always been a bit of a smitten kitten though, some things never change.” Vic comments, smiling as they approach the counter.

“You what?” Robert asks, knows what they’re on about, wants to know how they know though. Has Aaron been finding it absolutely ridiculous?

“You’ll be giving him love hearts next.” Liv pouts playfully and then Robert’s bright red, working around Bob who is fighting a grin.

“How’d ya know about that?” Robert grumbles out.

“Adam picked up Aaron’s the other day by accident, laughed his head off.” Robert growls, he can see it now and he wants to smack the stupid idiot. “Aaron doesn’t mind it all that much though.” Liv continues and Robert’s eyes brighten at her words.

“No?” Robert feels something tighten in his stomach and he’s suddenly too hot, his white shirt sticks to his arms.

“Said it was sweet. Then told Adam to fu -”

Robert stops Liv, tells her off and then he’s grinning to himself until it’s closing time.


::


It becomes a thing.

Robert gets all creative, takes an age to dust over the coco just right so that it looks good.

“Flipping heck just confess your undying love.” Nicola snaps, makes Robert turn red and he’s suddenly thankful that Aaron’s in the bathroom.

“Shut it Nicola.” Robert doesn’t even look up, just keeps dusting over the coco like he’s in a world of his own.

When Aaron comes out everyone’s staring at him and Robert passes over his coffee, fights a smile and relishes in the way Aaron thanks him with a curt nod of the head.

It shouldn’t make him melt like this he thinks, because Aaron was his husband wasn’t he? He’d gone through this pathetic falling in love stage and it had been beyond messy, he can’t do that all again.

He can’t help himself though, he’s in too deep and he falls into this pattern of making Aaron feel special or something, in his own little way.

But it doesn’t pay off.

Aaron’s tapping his foot against the floor loud, Liv sitting opposite him with her phone up towards her face.

He’s leaning in and trying to talk to her and then she’s shifting her body away from him. It looks tense from where Robert is stood, behind the counter, Bob in his ear telling him to do something.

So he does, he comes over with a hot chocolate and a smiley face and a cream slice.

“Didn’t order anything Rob.” Aaron snaps, hand over his face as Robert stands there, his navy blue shirt sticks to his back as he becomes flustered and confused. “If I wanted something, I’d have paid for it myself. I don’t need your hand outs.”

Liv’s eyes widen and her phone is abandoned. “It’s a cream slice.” She almost echoes Robert’s exact thoughts.

“I didn’t mean to -”

Aaron suddenly stands. “You think you can really buy back what we had through stupid messages in hot chocolates. You broke it Robert. You ruined it so stop trying to fix it again.” He’s almost screaming at Robert and the older man stands back, lets him and then watches as Aaron calms down, as the realisation hits his face and oh -

There’s the regret for causing a scene, embarrassing Robert so publicly.

“You’re wasting your time.” Aaron tells him, calm now, voice still icy enough to hurt though.

Liv looks horrified, tears swell in her eyes and then she’s following her brother out the door.


::


“That was your fault that.” Robert tells Bob, the cafe is closed and he’s tackling the coffee machine which has been on the blink all day, talking about Aaron’s outburst and of course blaming Bob for telling him to go over.

“I didn’t know he was going to be like that.” Bob says, doesn’t want the blame. “He’s probably stressed about something else, taking it out on you.”

Robert pulls something and clicks something else. “That’s nice of him.” He says sarcastically before hearing Bob’s phone ring. “You get that.” He says, tries to turn something in the machine.

“Ah. Yes, no that’s fine I’ll be there.” Bob makes promises over the phone, something about picking up the kids again and Robert wants to throttle him.

“This needs fixing.” Robert explains, makes a point by hitting the stupid machine.

Bob pulls a face. “And you’re doing a grand job.” He says, all smiles as he fetches his coat and unites his apron. “Look if it’s still acting up in ten minutes, leave it alright?” He says before he’s dashing off and leaving Robert.

Robert decides to think about Aaron again, question what exactly he’d done to make him react that way. He thinks and thinks and then takes his frustration out on the glossy coffee machine which just won’t pour.

Then he’s clicking something and warm milk is spluttering out everywhere, splashing over his shirt, over his jeans and won’t stop until -

He doesn’t even know how, but Aaron’s there, pressing a switching and holding out a few tissues for Robert and he looks a lot calmer than he did before.

“Cheers.” Robert gulps hard, takes the tissues and then just stands there looking at Aaron, then back towards his ruined shirt. “Do you mind waiting here a second, I’ve got another shirt in the back that I can change into.”

Aaron raises an eyebrow, “Course ya do.” He says and something flutters in Robert’s stomach as he goes.

When he comes back through Aaron’s already clearing up the mess and his heart tugs. “You don’t need to do that, it’s fine, I can manage.” Robert says, comes closer and then Aaron’s looking down towards the counter, looks like he can’t speak. “Aaron?”

“You keep it round your neck?” Aaron whispers, finally lifts his head and stares at the gleaming silver line of the chain which Robert still wears. Robert blushes, thought it would cover by his shirts. “My ring.” Aaron adds thickly, like he can’t believe it.

Robert clears his throat, “Why did you come here Aaron?” He whispers.

“To apologise. For hurting ya. I didn’t mean to snap like that Rob.” Aaron says, turns towards Robert. “Even when we’re not together I’m pushing ya away.” He holds his head like it hurts and Robert hates himself for making him like this again.

He was happy a few weeks ago, then he started dusting smiley faces into Aaron’s hot chocolates and it all went down hill from there.

“It’s okay.” Robert lies, because it hurt like hell but Aaron doesn’t have to actually hear that. What good would that do? “Apology accepted.” He nods his head and it’s so formal that it aches.

Aaron lingers though, like he’s not ready to leave and Robert doesn’t know what to say. “Why did you start doing all that anyway?” He says, eyes fluttering towards the floor.

Robert gulps, this is too painful, too raw and he hates it. “Because I’m selfish.” Aaron looks up like he didn’t expect to hear that. “Because I wanted you to know I care when I should just - just leave you alone -”

“That’s not what I want.”

It’s so heavy in the air, Aaron’s green jumper jumps out and grabs Robert’s attention and everything is Too Much.

“What?” Robert blurts out, tears in his eyes, tears falling. He’s got Aaron’s words on repeat in his mind, telling him they’re broken, that there’s no going back, that he can never be with him. Robert breathes out heavily, hands flying. “Well then what do you want then?” He says, a hand through his hair, face wet. “Because I’m *struggling Aaron. There, I said it. I can’t keep doing this when I have ‘no idea what you even want and I -”

Aaron’s stepping forward, has his hands on Robert’s face and he’s crying too, the way he always does when he’s overwhelmed.

“You. I just - all I’ve ever wanted, is you. You, Robert. Just -” Robert can feel him, he’s so close, lips brushing against lips, hands falling into hair and then -

Robert’s phone is ringing and the minute is crushed because Aaron’s telling him to get it and he doesn’t want to. He wants everything in the world to wait but it can’t.

It’s Vic, she’s rambling and -

Rebecca’s in labor apparently.


::


He’s healthy, he’s soft and he’s got whisps of white hair which should golden. There’s a few freckles on his face and he has gentle unassuming eyes filled with wonder.

They’re a hazel colour, spotted with specs of green and blue.

And he’s beautiful.

Everyone says so.

“I think we did good.” Rebecca says, exhausted yet still glowing as she lays there, looks at Robert holding the baby in his arms. “Even if it wasn’t meant to happen.”

Robert raises an eyebrow. “We did good.” He says, tries not cry.


::


Rebecca names him Gabriel and Robert doesn’t roll his eyes at the name, he likes it a little actually.

“He’s just precious isn’t he?” Diane whispers as Robert holds him, lets her gently stroke his hair. “And you’ve got him tonight?” She checks and Robert nervously nods.

Rebecca’s still exhausted and she asked if Robert wouldn’t mind having him for the night. He’d said yes when he wanted to scream that he wasn’t sure. But he’s been good as gold so far and he can’t complain too much, not when he’s in his arms.

Doug rubs his hands together, “Oh lovely, little Gabriel can watch Love Your Garden with us.” He says, settles down on the sofa and elbows Robert who actually doesn’t mind.


::


“Gabriel? As in the angel?” Of course Liv twigs that and of course she’s got something to say about it. “How could you make an angel Gabriel?”

Robert laughs at her, throws a straw in her direction and waits for her to say something else.

“Can I come see him?” Liv asks, maybe thinks out loud and then Aaron’s behind her.

Robert’s mouth goes dry and he feels sick. He hasn’t see Aaron for days, not since -

Well before he had a baby, a son, a responsibility. He supposes everything has changed for Aaron now that everything is real. Robert hates how the younger man has probably realised everything he said was wrong and pathetic and that he doesn’t want a single dad after all. Not after everything.

“Maybe uh - I mean, it depends.” Robert gives her half an answer and she knows better than to pry, so she says something about being late for the bus and leaves her brother standing there with his hands in his pockets.

“Bob’s just gone to get milk.” Robert explains, wonders if that’s what Aaron wants.

Aaron nods his head, looks almost in pain as he smiles. “Congratulations.” He blurts out and Robert doesn’t know where to look because he’d ran out the cafe after Aaron told him to go and he hadn’t caught him up on anything. He hadn’t told him everything was fine, he hadn’t had a minute to.

“Thank you.” Robert whispers, “Honest.”

Aaron gulps hard, like he’s really trying. “I bet he’s got your freckles, I always thought that -” he stops himself and bites his lip. “I bet he has.”

“He does yeah.” Robert says, wants to hug Aaron, wants to tell him he loves him still and that he can do this, they can do this. But then the door is opening and Rebecca’s walking through looking as pale as a ghost and Gabriel’s there, right in front of Aaron and -

He watches Aaron run away, doesn’t even call out for him to stop.


::


Aaron disappears for a while with Liv and Adam says they’ve gone to Ireland, says nothing more but Robert knows why.

He cries when he tells Diane that he won’t come back, that he knows now that Aaron won’t ever love him because of Gabriel.

Because of his little boy who never cries with him, who holds his hand really tightly and never seems to kick up too much of a fuss with his mum either.

There’s nothing he can do about Gabriel, wouldn’t want to do anything now that he’s here. So he focuses on his little boy and himself and as the leaves fall he manages to get himself a flat just outside the village.

It’s not poxy, just not lavish and Robert wants to call it home.

He spends his nights there, painting walls and moving furniture and sometimes Bob even helps.

“Maybe it’s not my place to say this but,” Bob smiles. “I reckon your dad would be pretty proud of you Robert.” He says and something warms across Robert’s heart, makes him want to believe it.

He fixes up the spare room for Gabriel, uses his painting ‘skills’ to create an underwater world for him and he gets approval from Rebecca, and Vic and even Doug likes it (despite being bitter that his garden theme idea didn’t get passed his own mouth)


::


Christmas is a week away suddenly and Robert contemplates spending it alone, in his new flat.

He thinks about Aaron, of course he does, and about how he’s still away with Liv. He thinks about him being happier, away from Gabriel and reminders and hurt and that makes Robert smile a little, manages to stop the pain in his chest for a few minutes at least.

It’s closing time, Bob’s at the twins nativity and Robert’s attempting to pull tinsel out from one of the machines, has no clue how it got there in the first place but keeps going.

Even when the door chimes open.

“We’re closed, sorry.” Robert says, tugs harder and doesn’t even look back.

“I don’t think I can wait until tomorrow.”

It’s his voice, and everything seems to melt in Robert’s chest because it’s Aaron’s voice packed with nerves and -

Robert spins around, drops the tea towel from his shoulder and stares at him. He gazes, notices how healthier Aaron looks now, he’s wearing a burgundy jumper, tight jeans and a smile on his face which is watery, matching his eyes.

“Aaron, I thought you’d -” Robert can’t speak, feels his mouth turn to sandpaper again. “What are you doing here?”

Aaron blows out a breath, “I thought it would be better, not seeing you or him, but it’s not. Because I’m miserable without you.”

Robert shakes his head. “And you hurt yourself when you’re with me Aaron. That’s why you left the first time.”

Aaron gulps, “I shouldn’t have blamed you for my own mental -” he blows out a breathe. “I never should have.”

Robert doesn’t know what to say, his eyes water and he can’t cope with the closeness of them, steps back. “We’re not good together Aaron.” He says, defeated. He knows that now, knows that the highs should always outweigh the lows and they never seemed to. “We hurt each other too much, and I’ve got Gab -”

“Could we go and get a coffee or something?” Aaron blurts out, plays with his hands like he’s a child.

Robert feels his chest tighten. “And what good would that do?” He knows this game, they’ve played it for four years now.

Aaron just looks up towards the ceiling and a tear falls down his face. “Please.” He pleads, “I’m ready Rob, to talk, to - to just -”

“I’m never going to be sorry for loving Gabriel.” Robert insists. “I can’t hate him Aaron.” He shudders when he thinks about his son, about how innocent he is in all of this.

Aaron takes a step forward, “I wouldn’t ever want you to.” He says, grabs Robert’s hand and shivers like he feels something again.

“I can’t - can’t have you running away from me again,” Robert drops his head, finds it difficult to speak. “I can’t handle thinking I have you again and then - you leaving.”

Aaron nods his head, he’s so close that Robert can feel Aaron’s forehead against his own. “Let me take you out for coffee, we can take it from there okay?”

Robert looks at Aaron and sees it in his eyes, love, it’s there again, maybe it never left.

“Okay.”


::


It starts with that one coffee a week before Christmas, and it turns into another and another and they talk.

It’s alien yet so normal at the same time.

Aaron meets Gabriel on Christmas Day and it’s odd, it’s soft and unlike anything Robert imagined it would be because Aaron’s eyes didn’t glaze over when Robert handed his son to him. He smiles down at Gabriel, hesitant at first and then warm all of  a sudden.

“Merry Christmas.” Aaron whispers, gently looks up towards Robert almost for permission and then he kisses Gabriel’s head, fights back tears.

They spend Christmas together, kiss slowly under the mistletoe Liv planted and it’s everything Robert’s always wanted. It isn’t too fast, it’s soft and they both smile into it with open hearts.

Their coffee dates continue, sometimes with Gabriel, most of the times without and it gets easier.

Somehow Aaron opens up, makes it clear what he wants and what he can handle and they seem to work their way through it. They fight against the hurdles in their way again and again, when it gets too much for Aaron, when Robert feels like he’s pushing his luck.

But they seem to fall together again.

“I want it back.” Aaron says, one night, a hand over Robert’s, Gabriel’s breathing in the background on the baby monitor.

Robert’s eyes widen, the moon is high and he wonders exactly what Aaron’s saying until he feels Aaron tug at his neck and pull out the chain, the ring.

“Are you sure?” Robert holds Aaron’s arms, stops him dead.

“I want this. I do, I do Rob.” Aaron whispers, and Robert’s passes it towards him delicately, freezes though when he hears Gabriel crying on the monitor. He thinks it’s ruined everything suddenly, closes his eyes and there’s an apology on his lips.

But he doesn’t get to say it because Aaron’s pressing a finger on his lips and he’s sliding the ring on. “Go check on him. It’s fine.” He whispers, eyes soft as Robert stands and leaves him. Robert doesn’t know what to do with his heart as he watches Aaron stare down at it, almost in amazement.

He climbs the stairs to where Gabriel is crying and bundles him up in his arms slowly, swaying him back and forth a little.

“I know, I know buddy.” He whispers, looks down at Gabriel and then moves him over to the rocking chair in the corner of the room. “You’re ruining my date kidda,” he teases, “Aaron’s here, yeah I know. It’s Aaron,” his heart jumps when Gabriel’s eyes widen like he knows what that means. “You know I said we were taking it slow now, well he said he loved me yesterday and - Gabes I was so happy. I never thought he’d love me again, but he said he always has, he said he never stopped.” Robert gently touches Gabriel’s cheek. “And he doesn’t hate ya does he? I think he likes ya really. Must be all the charm you get from me.” He rocks back a little and Gabriel’s chest puffs up and down. 

“Me and him, we’re really trying ya know. He’s got me going to this painting class, says I’m good. So does Lauren.” His counsellor, it was what Aaron wanted them to do, it helps more than Robert wants to admit. “I think we’re going to be happy this time. I think it’s for keeps this time, I think you’ll grow up loving Liv and him nearly as much as I do and gosh you’ll be so lucky I promise.” He kisses Gabriel’s head, watches his little eyes flutter as he pulls him back down into the cot and comes down the stairs again.

He doesn’t expect to find Aaron there, chin wobbling and one of Gabriel’s teddy’s in his hands. He doesn’t expect Aaron to tell him he heard every word as he looks towards the monitor. He doesn’t expect to be pulled into a crushing hug and kissed on the head, and the neck and see Aaron’s tears rolling down his face.

“He’s lucky already. So am I.” Aaron shudders, hands falling round Robert’s neck. “And I meant it, I love you and this is for keeps I swear. I’m not running.”

“You’re not running.” Robert whispers, like he needs to remember it.

“I’m not.” Aaron insists, eyes still wet. “Because we’re going to take it slow, you’re still here, in your flat and - I’m at the Mill. And when it’s right, that’s when you’ll move in alright?”

Robert blinks once, then twice. “Both of us?” He says, eyes falling on Gabriel’s teddy and feeling the time race by him before Aaron’s nodding.

“Yes. Yes Robert, both of you.” Aaron blows out a breath. “He doesn’t make me sad anymore.”

And that causes almost an explosion in Robert’s heart, makes his knees weak.

It’s enough, Robert thinks, mouth pressed against Aaron’s, head swirling with love and a sense of happiness which he thought had died in him.

It’s enough that he’s still living in the not-quite-poxy flat of his that now stinks of chinese after their takeaway, it’s enough that Aaron’s still at the mill and Liv comes round twice a week for her dinner.

It’s enough that Aaron doesn’t hate Rebecca, holds the door open for her if she’s passing with Gabriel. It’s enough that he can’t make small talk with her just yet.

It’s enough that he works in the cafe sometimes, but has thrown himself into back into the business, has a friend in Bob and goes round to Diane and Doug’s for his tea a few nights a week (especially on Tuesday’s because that’s when Love Your Garden is on and even Gabe knows he has to be quiet for an hour) and only Doug knows the significance of the sunflowers Robert keeps buying Aaron.

“I love you Aaron.” He whispers, the stars are twinkling outside and Aaron’s probably going to stay over and get coffee with him in the morning and -

“I love you too.”

(It’s enough)