sometimes

– my favorite thing is when people respond to my RP’s and tag it as “crack”. Like no, you clearly don’t understand my muse at all, this is not crack. She is being totally serious. Yes, I understand she just set the place on fire. No, this isn’t just me trying to be funny. She did that. That is a thing that she did. This is a completely serious RP in which Erika has set a thing on fire.

Sometimes, I’ll just be going about my day and it’s just an average Tuesday and then sometimes – this feeling hits me out of nowhere.

This super heavy feeling in my chest that makes me feel like I can’t breathe sometimes.

And sometimes, when that feeling hits me, it feels like you’re with me and I can breathe again.

And in that moment, I will laugh because I remember something funny you did or how easily and unconditionally you made me feel love – especially today, in a world that doesn’t seem to love easily. A world that doesn’t seem to love at all.

And somehow, even if just in that moment, it seems like I’ll be okay again.
Maybe not today.
But someday.
Someday I’ll be okay again.

The world around us may have changed, but we haven’t.

And then sometimes, I remember you’re gone… but then, I’ll remember your smile.

And then I smile.

—  I miss you. I miss you so much.