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I WILL TELL YOU WHAT HOLY DIVER IS ABOUT

AND YOU WILL LISTEN


HOLY DIVER IS ABOUT ROCKING SO FUCKING HARD THAT SATAN HIMSELF QUIVERS LIKE A LITTLE GIRL AT THE MERE THOUGHT OF YOUR HEAVY METAL MAJESTY.

HOLY DIVER IS ABOUT GETTING SO PUMPED THAT YOU WOULD HAVE NO QUALMS ABOUT PUNCHING A BABY IN THE FUCKING FACE BECAUSE SOMEDAY, IT MIGHT GROW TO BE A MAN WHO WOULD POSSIBLY CONSIDER ENTERTAINING THE NOTION OF LOOKING AT YOU FUNNY

HOLY DIVER IS ABOUT HAVING TESTICLES THE SIZE OF VOLLEYBALLS AND DRINKING THE BLOOD OF THE WEAK AND SHITTING MOLTEN LAVA UPON YOUR DEFEATED FOES

DO NOT QUESTION HOLY DIVER

YOUR MORTAL MIND CANNOT COMPREHEND IT BECAUSE YOU ARE NOTHING COMPARED TO THE GLORY THAT IS RONNIE JAMES DIO. HE IS THE ALPHA AND THE OMEGA. HE IS YOUR GOD.

DIE.

—  El Juapeador - somethingawful.com /FORUM user on Holy Diver by Dio
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Fear and Loathing in Hampton Beach

Remember this video of the little dude busting a Serious to Madonna back in the 90s? I would assume you remember. It was only a month or so ago. I guess that’s like a year in Internet time though. I’m not sure how it all works. Anyway, here’s a great review of Hampton Beach. Click it or ticket.

“The acid was wearing off, so we decided to leave. But first we stopped at a hot dog stand for $12 frankfurters. While eating, we saw a guy in his 20s with a neckbeard and elf face, strutting down the street with his mediocre girlfriend like he’d just won the Superbowl and climbed Mt. Everest in the same day. This guy was the avatar of Hampton Beach: fat, slovenly and way prouder than he should be. Also, he was wearing a Sublime t-shirt, which Brannen said should say "Sub-lame,” and I suggested should have a picture of a sub because he was fat.

I guess the guy heard us, because he shouted a curse word. But in his coarse voice I heard a tinge of vulnerability that said he hated the beach and his life and the sad undertow of poverty and drug use that had suffused both. Then he was beautiful to me.“