I feel horrible about this, but I need to get this off my chest. My abuser was an immigrant from Mexico. He scarred me for life and I cannot stand any Hispanic male and I feel like shit because of it. I'm literally a blonde haired blue eyed white girl and he's Hispanic. Im terrified to tell my therapist or anyone because I don't want them to think I'm racist or something, but I really can't stand to be around anyone that resembles him. What do I do?
i am not judging you at all. i am glad you are getting this off of your chest because i want this to be a safe place for people to share things like you’re sharing. because i really do feel for you. i know how awful you must feel. but your “racism” is the result of trauma. it’s like saying that someone is sexist for feeling fear when encountering the opposite sex after they were abused. or for not wanting to talk to people with the same name as their ex because it brings back bad memories (which has happened to me). unfortunately, your trigger deals with race and i know how touchy of a subject that can be. but you are not a bad person. you are a victim of abuse dealing with a trigger. please tell your therapist so that you can work through this.