something is telling me that i wont do this

“Are you lonely, passion is crashing as we speak”

I was listening to this song ( www.youtube.com/watch?v=vGUEAd… ) and opened sai and started drawing, and this is the result, AAAAAA I LOVE THIS. Did this in less than an hour, WHAT (well maybe an hour and a half), im so much more productive in the night for some reason lol, I should do this more often tbh. Also the title is a lyric from the song btw, im actually really proud of this drawing! Tho in the morning im gonna regret it probably haha.

Also fun fact, That little part on top of Oliver’s hair (those two things I dont know how to say them) are supossed to represent a heart, or a broken heart, WE WILL NEVER KNOW …. well actually I d- .  I could tell you what is happening here but I wont, because its spoilers or something idk its 2am what do you want from me.


wow that was a lot of text…..

You being comfortable on my blog is important

If you want me to tag/trigger warn something: Tell me and send the link and I’ll do it

If you want me to answer something privately: Either message me directly or send me an ask with an ^ at the start. (I can’t not answer something privately on anon, so I will ignore it so it stays private)

If you want me to stop following you: Tell me

If you want me to block you: Tell me

If you want me to stop contacting you: Tell me straight away

If you want me to untag you in a post: Tell me, and send the link

If I send in an ask that makes you uncomfortable: Either delete it, ignore that part of the ask or use direct message to ask me to resend it without the part that makes you uncomfortable.

If you want me to delete a post: Tell me, I may do it if I find it offensive or problematic. This is the only case were I may not do as you ask. I’m sorry for that.

If I misgender you: Tell me

If I use the wrong pronouns: Tell me

If I reply to an ask that I clearly didn’t answer the question: I didn’t answer it for a reason, the reasons for not answering an ask properly or answering it at all will vary. 

If I say something that offends you or hurts you in any way: I am deeply sorry that my words have hurt you. 

If I say something racist, sexist, homophobic, transphobic etc or discriminate: Please tell me, and whats wrong with what I said so I can learn and grow from my mistake.

If I tag you in a tag game: It is totally up to you if you want to do it or not

If you want to unfollow me: Just do it, I won’t get offended

If you want to block me: Just do it, I wont get offended.

I use bro, dude, man, girl, gurl, bruh, woman, lady, mate and more all gender neutrally: but if I call you any of these and it makes you uncomfortable, please tell me and I will change it.

Trigger Warnings: If you have a trigger, please tell me (send an ask or message me privately) and I will try my hardest to tag any posts.
I’ll use food as an example to show you how I tag my posts. #food tw, #tw food, #tw. I already tag people with #body image tw and a few others that don’t come up very often, like abuse, death, knife, guns and food.

If I reblog something that wasn’t meant for me: Please let me know. Also by this I mean if I reblog a post about bpd, it wasn’t created for me to reblog as I don’t have bpd.

If you think that there should be something one this list: Please tell me as I want you to be comfortable and different people have different experiences meaning that they each have different things that make them uncomfortable.

A little side note: I edit this post a lot, I re-word stuff and add more to the list as well as other things. So please, every once and a while have a look to see if I’ve adding things. Also if the link in my description isn’t working, direct message me straight away please.

You being comfortable is very very important to me, do not be scared to tell me or do something that will make you feel better.

anonymous asked:

Hey uhh... I don't wanna bother you...but... is it bad that I want to live despite not being worthy of living? I feel like I'm dying inside and I shouldn't be. I have an ok job,my family love me, and I have good friends... So why do I feel like if I died everyone would be happier without me? I've tried to find ways to "leave" but whenever I do I get scared and back down,then I yell at myself for being selfish for wanting to live.

no, buddy, thats not bad at all. thats a good thing. hang on to that. 

somebody once said that where there’s life, theres hope, and they were right. as bad and awful as things feel and actually are sometimes, as long as youre alive theres opportunity to get better, to be better. if you’re dead, there’s not. sometimes theres no explanation for feeling like garbage, you just do, and it sucks. 

i had an interesting discussion the other week with my therapist about being defined by what i do, not how i feel about myself. we talked about how it can be helpful to use the choices that you make to help define what kind of person you are. if you’re a person who thinks you’re bad, but who does good things, are you bad or good? externally, you’re a positive force in the world. thinking of the ways that i can and have improved the lives of the people important to me helps me fight that nasty voice that tells me the world would be better without me. (and being helpful to them makes me feel like less of a burden when i have to ask them for help. which isn’t a burden, really, but it makes me feel better about asking.)

and if there’s anything i know from having run out of chocolate, it’s that not having something you love never makes you happier than when you do have it. if your family loves you, they wont be happier without you. 

hold on to that strong, surviving part of yourself. feed it with good stuff. that’s how you can make it through to a better mental place. if you give in to the nasty, you’ll never make it to the nice. living is never selfish. 

man, this got a little heavy, sorry. i didn’t want to leave it unanswered, though, so here we are.  on a much lighter note, today i watched thor accidentally set a car down on his own foot, and i learned a bunch of swear words in asgardian. sometimes it’s the little stuff that makes me glad i’m still here, living life. 

As a childcare provider, parents who let their children run their lives and treat their emotions like gospel take like 5 years off my life.

My biggest complaint is that people need to teach their children to let shit go. This is seriously such an important skill. They need to be taught that not every single feeling they ever have is the most important thing on planet earth that gets them anything they want.

Let me explain…..

If you get mad and storm off over sometimes totally not important, I’m going to tell you to let it go and that isnt not a big deal. Because it isnt. If you want to keep freaking out about it, thats on you.

If you whine and tantrum over me not giving you immediate attention, I’m not going to stop doing what I’m doing. I’ll explain that you need to wait and you can wait.

If you start throwing a tantrum, you can go somewhere else and do it. Come back when you’re ready to stop because you’re not getting what you want.

All this factors into that I’ve legit had kids tell me “well I’m having a bad day” or “well I’m mad today/at -insert someone or something-” as an excuse for treating the other kids and staff like absolutely shit so they wont get in trouble. Yeah no, you’re still in trouble. That’s not an excuse to treat people poorly/act like a brat. Oh man, do they have a full on meltdown when they find out how they feel isn’t the most important thing in the universe and, regardless how they “feel”, there are still consequences for their actions.

They are legit some of the hardest children to deal with. I understand that you value how your child feels, and thats seriously great, but please for the love of god, stop letting your children use their “feelings” as a scapegoat for shit behavior and that sometimes you just have to deal with not getting what you want…. Thank you.

(To clarify:

There is a difference between caring about a child’s feelings and letting them use their feelings as a be all end all.

I sit children down all the time and ask them to tell me what’s wrong. I’ve had long discussions with children about their feelings. The amount of times I’ve said “Hey, you dont usually act this way. Are you having a bad day? Did something happen?” or “You seem upset today. What’s wrong?” is uncountable.

There is difference between discussing something with a bothered child vs an overcoddled child who thinks that their feelings trump others. As a childcare worker, you can tell the difference.)

House Rules

So for those of you that are spirit keepers/companions, or are spirit workers of any frequency, you may know a bit about house rules. Now keep in mind, you don’t need to have house rules. Some don’t find that they need them, some prefer not to have them. I choose to have a set of house rules because I find that for me, it helps bring a little peace and harmony to my house, and that if anything did go wrong, I have something to refer to. Anyone in my house, be it astral being, spirit or entity, from white arts to dark arts to black arts, is expected to follow these rules while they are part of my household/in my house.

These are my house rules. Feel free to use them if you like, modify them, add/subtract as you see fit. I have had a lot of success with these so far, and no incidents. Depending on who is in your family/keep/court, you may need to add rules, or subtract them. But these are what work for me & my family. What is in bold is my actual rule, and then I will expand upon the rule if I see fit.

1. Never harm or show disrespect to myself, my significant other, any other member of my family, friends or welcome household guests. This is obvious… I don’t want any of my spirit family hurting each other, nor do I want them hurting any human or animal that is welcome in my house.

2. Never harm any children or pets.

3. Never show yourself to anyone besides myself in your true form, unless your true form is something that would not scare them. (Example: If it is a child, appear as something child friendly.) I have a few not so pleasant looking family members, or some beings that in their true form are pretty terrifying. I wouldn’t want them showing themselves to a child or an adult.

4. Sexual contact is only welcome with me and will not be permitted with anyone else. Basically just don’t go touching my boyfriend or anyone else, they don’t appreciate it. 

5. No physical manifestations at work in front of anyone but myself. Patients and coworkers are not to know about you. Some of you may not need this, but I work with the public and don’t need a spirit manifestation scaring patients away.

6. Protect yourself at all times. If something comes up and I can do something about it, I will help. 

7. Do not hamper with communication. This covers and includes communication between yourselves, or with me. If I am working specifically with one or with one group, I don’t need anyone else butting in and hampering that communication. Wait until I am done.

8. Do your part for the highest good of the household, including all spirits, entities, astral beings & other. All living people, spirits, entities, astral beings & other shall work at living together peacefully. Bullying wont be tolerated, if you have an issue, contact me.

9. We work as a team, with me being the team leader. If you have suggestions, tell me. If you are unsure to my wishes, ask me or look within. If they have doubts about something, my family is always welcome to “look within” for my wishes, if I am for some reason unavailable to ask. 

10. No twisting my words.

11. No lying. Do not pretend to be something/someone you are not. Do not make anything up to make someone else look bad.

12. Disarm malicious magic that is sent my way by someone else or that is around by circumstance.

13. Keep watch over property & always be ready to act against any pending issue.

14. Help identify any possible conflicts. Help judge the character of people, spirits, entities, astral beings & other around us. This has actually been a useful rule in several situations. Its really two rules condensed into one, as well, but its how I have it written in my notebook.

 Thats it! They are fairly long, but also fairly basic, and cover the essentials. Most rules are pretty obvious, but I would rather state the obvious then regret not stating the obvious later on. Again, this is just what I use for my house rules (its nice to have a digital copy on here as well) - you can use them if you like, add/remove rules as needed. & if you don’t do spirit work, or have spirits in your regular household, you don’t even need to have this.

Enjoy!

The Job

Dylan O’Brien smut

warnings: secretary!y/n, smoking, oral, nsfw

Originally posted by hothothotgg

The heels of your shoes clicked as you trudged your way to show the new employee around his new setting.  “Welcome to the Google corporation.” You apprised followed by, “My name is Y/N, Y/N Y/L/N. And your name is?”
The boy became all flustered as he tried to stutter out his name, “D-Dylan, Dylan O’Brien.”

“Well Mr. O’Brien, we expect you to exert your best effort in this industry and  we expect that you do not stay idle and follow the ground policies.” A stern look plastered on your face looking directly in the eyes of the boy. 

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

Su teach me how to life

you see its pretty simple. when you receive a gift, give someone a gift. when a stranger holds the door for you, thank them. you like someone?, tell them. you feel like you made someone upset? apologize. you love spending time with your friend?, make them smile.

give something, get it back. get something, give it back. 

It doesn’t matter if the cycle begins with you doing something good or with someone making something good for you, what matters is that you wont live for long, neither will I and neither will anyone else. while it is important that we experience both happiness and sadness, its also important that we learn from both of them and know that they both made us who we are today.

so go and tell someone something nice today, smile at them, pat them on the back, appreciate them. not only will it make you feel absolutely happy but it will give you the pleasure to know for a fact you made someone else happy too.

This is it. II (S.M)

Description: After his European tour Shawn traveled North America not failing to sell out every show. He was finally coming home, and his parents invited y/n to a welcoming home party. She doesn’t know if she should go or not, but when she makes her decision she wonders if it’ll be any good.

I’ve decided to make this a little series. I don’t know how long I want to make it. It could be only three parts or it could be ten. Hope you enjoyed. (: please send feedback!!



Keep reading

wanna one/produce 101; masterlist.

yo, welcome to my wanna one/produce 101 masterlist! here you can find scenarios, imagines, reactions. feel free to request anything! please dont be shyshyshy my loves :)//no TEXTS OR SNAPS.

THERE ARE SOME TEXTS/IMAGINES NOT LISTED. PLEASE TELL ME SOMETHING IF THINGS ARE MISSING. ALSO THERE WILL BE NO DESCRIPTIONS OF THE IMAGINES HERE, YOU WILL JUST HAVE TO CHECK THE IMAGINE AND LOOK AT THE SUMMARY.

P.S i wont do all 101 members,, please keep that in mind! but feel free to also request anyone else (i will not do the members who have been eliminated in the first and second eliminations round- SORRY. these people listed are the imagines i’ll likely do, but ofc i will do whatever yall ask)

- /// -

  • KEY/GENRES:

= angst

= smut

= light/slight smut (mainly imagining the smut yourself cliffhanger sorta thing)

= fluff

= completed (series)

= hiatus

bold = personal favourites/public favourites

i+s = imagines (series)

r = reactions

s = scenarios

mtl = most to least

IMAGINES + SERIES, REACTIONS, SCENARIOS, MOST TO LEASTS

bae jinyoung

[i+s] ex’s and shows ♔ [1]


yoon jisung


ha sungwoon


hwang minhyun


ong seongwoo


kim jaehwan


kang daniel


park jihoon


park woojin


lee daehwi


lai guanlin


yoo seonho


jung sewoon


kim samuel


takada kenta


ahn hyungseob


Bucket list

Damon x reader

Damon was startled to see a girl lying in the middle of the road. He has some company he thought.

“Hi,” he said

“Hi,” you replied in a proud voice

“I hope you wont mind if i join you.” He said while lying beside you. You smiled he clearly didn’t care if you’d mind or not.

“No, I won’t”

“So are you new in here?”

“Yes, I am on my holidays. What are you doing here?”

“The same thing you’re doing.“

“And what am I doing?” You asked him challengingly.

“To get something to eat.” You laughed at his reply.

“Okay, then you’ll get me something to eat.”

“Sure.”

“You didn’t tell me your name?”

“Damon.”

“Y/N”

You were both lying in the middle of the road staring in each other’s eyes instead of stars. Those blue eyes were so dark that you could get lost into them. And he knew your Y/E/C eyes were so bright that he could find himself in them. He was now listening to your heartbeat. It was calm. He realized that you’re not what he thought you are.

“So, what were you doing here?”

“Umm, nothing just looking at the stars in the middle of the road, ticking some goals off my bucket list. And you?”

“Nothing.”

He heard a car coming, he realized that it was fast and if you’re human you’ll not be able to run when you’ll hear it.

You were looking at each other, it was something you never felt before. He was dark, mysterious, and…

The next moment you were in his arms at the side of the road with the speed of light. You realized that he saved your life.

Now, your heartbeat was fast but your face was still calm, you were not afraid of him. Of whatever he was. For you, he was a hero.

You closed your eyes and your lips met. It was a feeling you couldn’t describe. It was a feeling you’ve never known. And you knew, you will never know it again.

When your lips parted and you opened your eyes. He was looking at you. “You will not remember anything from tonight. We never met. Nothing special happened tonight”

He knew you were beautiful inside and out. You deserved the world and not a monster like him. You were innocent and he was everything opposite of what you were.

And the moment you blinked, he was gone. You were there at the side of the road alone.

Originally posted by trechos-of-books

Prompt: “Look, I don’t have much time, but I wanted to say I love you.”/“I shouldn’t be in love with you.”

Your dress was beautiful. Your hair was done perfectly. Your makeup was flawless. Everything was perfect. Everything except for the man who was waiting for you at the end of the aisle. Your family was big on getting married and having children as soon as possible. When you met Ryan, you thought he was your dream man. He was hansom, funny, kind, smart and great with kids. He treated you with the upmost respect and gave you everything you wanted. Except the kind of love you deserved. You felt empty with Ryan. You knew that your parents would make you marry him. And that was the last person on earth you wanted to marry. Ryan was great, but the more time you spent with him, the more you realized that he just wasn’t for you. All your friends thought he was perfect for you. Except Harry. Harry was the only one who could see you weren’t happy with Ryan. Time and time again Harry tried to encourage you to leave Ryan and be with someone you love, someone who was right for you. Someone like him. Harry was the only person who could fill your void. Although you didn’t have a romantic relationship with Harry, he made you feel like you wish Ryan made you feel. And you began to fall harder for Harry then you ever fell for Ryan. So when Harry burst through the door of the hotel room you were getting ready for your wedding in, you knew he’d say something along the lines of,

Look, I don’t have much time, but I just wanted to say I love you. I love you more than anything in the world. I shouldn’t be in love with you, but I am. You and I both know that he doesn’t deserve you and that I can love you better than he ever could. And I’m here to tell you that you don’t have to go through with this. Don’t spend the rest of your life with someone who doesn’t make you happy. Be with me, and you wont regret it. I’ve got a car waiting around back. What do you say?” he held his hand out to you, a desperate look in his eyes. 

“(y/n) Come on dear! Everyones waiting!” your mom called. You looked up at Harry, a smile tugging on your lips. You took his hand and stood up and pressed a kiss to his lips. It felt so right. Ryan had never kissed you with so much passion before. 

“Are we really going to do this? I mean, I’m leaving the poor guy at the alter. And everyone will be waiting.” you said to Harry as he lead you to the get away car.

“They’ll figure it out.”

(requested by: annons *also I hope you don’t mind that I combined them. It just made sense.) 

killerfangirl3  asked:

How about Anxiety crying in the bathroom trying to keep the others from finding out about how insecure he feels about his place among the sides. This leads to Roman breaking down the door and everyone runs in to comfort Anxiety

Tw: self hate
(I’m sorry for any constant mistakes, i cant edit it.))

He couldn’t look at himself in the mirror. He was pathetic. He couldn’t do anything for Thomas, he was just… useless.

He curled into a ball and sobbed. He couldn’t do anything right. He would just send Thomas into another panic attack and cause him to worry. He always thought he had accepted that fact he would cause this, but it hasn’t hurt less yet.

He could hear the door being slammed. Anxiety jumped and stopped breathing. Crap crap crap. The others were finally done with him, why why why did he always cause this? He couldn’t do anything. He didnt want this but he deserved this. It didn’t make him less scared when Roman burst through the door.

“I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry ” Anxiety couldn’t stop saying this as the others came closer to him. He couldn’t hear what the others were saying, he was too scared to focus.

The others were shocked and heartbroken to see Anxiety like this. They had no idea how to comfort him.

“Hey Anxiety, it’s okay we’re not mad.” Morality said softly.

“I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry” he wouldn’t stop saying it as he rocked back and forth. The others weren’t sure how to handle this.

“Hey, its okay, we aren’t mad. I’m going to put my hand on your shoulder just shake your head if you need me to back away.” Roman said, moving slowly towards Anxiety. Anxiety sobbed and leaned towards Prince.

“Shh its okay i got you. Let it out.” Roman said as Anxiety wailed into his arms.

“Can i give you a hug?” Logan asked. Anxiety tool a second before nodding

“I wanna join!” Morality said leaning towards the three. Logan and Roman were worried, and were about to back away but while Anxiety was leaning towards norality he was still holdong onto roman and logan. They stayed like that for a while before it died down to sniffling.

“I-I-I’m sorry.” Anxiety said.

“Its okay, do you want to talk about what was upsetting you?” Roman asked.

“It’s-no I"m sorry”

“Its okay please tell us, we wont know how to help unless you tell us what’s wrong.” Logan said.

“Its Just- I don’t see the point of me. You all have some sort of role. I mean I have a role-but it’s just to ruin Thomas’s life. And even when you guys do something bad you could never disappoint anyone or if you do disappoint someone, you know what to do to fix it!”

“Hey hey, it’s okay, I’m sorry you feel that way avout yourself. I dont believe anything you believe about yourself, but its good to let it out.” Logan said. Anxiety’s breath was shakey

“For me, I just roll with it!” Morality said pointing to the roll of toilet paper. Anxiety let out a spludder of laughter before he covered his mouth and started crying again. Logan and morality looked co fused but Roman knew what was up.

“Its okay, I hate my laugh too.” Roman said petting Anxiety’s head.

“You-you have the best laugh though.” Anxiety said.

“Thanks, i honestly don’t see how others see it that way, but i know that people dont agree with me. I just wanted you to know that though you hate it, i think its cute how you laugh, especially when its unexpected.” Roman said. Anxiety was just sniffling now.

“Do you want to head to your room?” Morality asked. Anxiety just shook his head.

“I want to stay like this for a while.”

They stayed like that and after that made sure to snuggle and comfort Anxiety more often.

Completely Soulless

Pairing: Sam x Reader 
Characters: Sam, Reader, Dean 
Warnings: violence, soulless!sam, swearing, all the angst
Summary: Sam’s soulless and couldn’t care less about anything or anyone, including his long time girlfriend, the Reader. She’s at her wits end and doesn’t know how much longer she can put up with him. 
Tag list: @amanda-teaches @myplaceofthingsilove@evyiione @mogaruke@aliensdeservebetter@27bmm@craving-cas @spnfanficpond@amanda-teaches  @myplaceofthingsilove  @spectaculicious@bambinovak @bambinovak@writingthingsisdifficult@padackles2010 @mamaredd123@milkymilky-cocopuff @iwantthedean@zeppo-in-a-trenchcoat @spntrista @d-s-winchester@just-another-busy-fangirl@winchesterprincessbride@waywardjoy@supernaturalyobsessed@whywhydoyouwantmetosaymyname@sandlee44@fangirl1802@kittenofdoomage @evyiione @winchestersmut@purgatoan@mogaruke @therewillbeblood @megansescape @taste-of-dean@leatherwhiskeycoffeeplaid  @scarlet-soldier-in-an-impala@deathtonormalcy56@wildfirewinchester @notnaturalanahi@jensen-jarpad@impalaimagining@fangirlextraordinaire@itseverythingilike@jesspfly@lovekittykat21@mysteriouslyme81@mrswhozeewhatsis@aiaranradnay@supernatural-jackles@girl-next-door-writes@spnsasha@27bmm@spnfanficpond @amanda-teaches@myplaceofthingsilove@spectaculicious@bambinovak@writingthingsisdifficult@spn-imagines-to-feel@spn-ficfanatic@cleverdame@saxxxology@jensen-jarpad @keepcalmandcarryondean dancingpanda137

Originally posted by bringmesomepie56

Keep reading

Just for you

Originally posted by mysekaisbaek

Part 1

Request: “Can I request a two part angst with Baekhyun where you were best friends and he loved you but he was two late to confess because you were dating Sehun. Then 3 years later you guys met each other and… will you finish it because that’s all I have. 😘”-anon

Genre: Angst. Prepare yourself because there ain’t gonna be no fluff.

Characters: Byun Baekhyun x Reader

Summary: He has been waiting so much time for this. Knowing each other for so long, he knew you were the right girl for him. But when he gets the courage to confess his feelings to you, he is faced with the fact that you’re already taken.



Today was the big day for him. The day he would have to finally man up. The day he would take actions for what he has felt for a long time. The day were he will put his fear of rejection aside and take up enough courage to tell you everything he wanted to all this time.

He convinced himself, it was the day. Because previous days he would think of doing it but end up dismissing the idea and not doing anything. But this time was different, this time he was going to do it.

He had everything sorted out, well almost everything. He did invite you for dinner at a nice restaurant but was he didn’t know exactly was what he was going to say to you. Or more specifically, how he was going to express his feelings to you.

The anticipation was eating him alive. Of course you were his best friend, known you for years now. But that didn’t stop himself from getting anxious for your reaction. What would you think of him? Would you feel the same? And If you didn’t what would happen with the friendship you both had?

If there was something putting pressure on him more than the rest for his worries of the night, it was that. He didn’t want the bond between you two to end at all, but he wanted to be honest with you. You were his best friend after all and he told you everything that was bothering him or things like that. Everything but his feelings, and that was going to change.

He was already at the table he reserved for the both of you in the restaurant. He had a nice buttoned up shirt and dark jeans. He wanted to seem like he put some thought to his outfit but not too much that would make him seem like he was trying too hard. And it was really a rarely the times he got to dress in anything other than his usual clothes so he figured he’d give them a shot. After a few moments of looking back and forth waiting for you, there you came. You walked in with a casual medium length dress, hair behind your shoulders and a loving smile making everything he noticed about you even better.

You spotted him and walked to the table. Baekhyun stood up and walked to your seat and pulled out the chair for you. You were flattered by his actions and grinned to him “Such a gentleman Baekhyunie~ Please take a seat, don’t worry about me” he grinned back at you and sat down in his seat.

He sat a cross from you, starting to feel his heart flutter. You both talked to each other a lot and it was a normal thing to eat together but this time was different. This time he had been holding back his feeling and he was planning on letting them go for once. This time was the time for Baekhyun to finally let you know.

“So, how has my bestfriend been in these few weeks?” you asked Baekhyun, “You know, we should go eat together a lot more and even more now if you’re the one paying.” He laughed and replied “What are you talking about I pay for you all the time!” you laughed along and said “I know, I’m just teasing you.”

“I’ve been fine as ever, not much has happened since we last talked” he admitted. You looked at him suspiciously “Not much? From Chanyeol’s point of view, you seemed to be stressing a whole bunch about something he refused to tell me himself” you said to him.

In that moment, he cursed at Chanyeol in his head. His beloved close friend was well aware of his struggling with feelings towards you and even encouraged him to talk to you. What Baekhyun didn’t know is that Chanyeol was spilling the truth (well, not the complete truth, thankfully) to the one person it was about. He made a mental reminder to choke Chanyeol as soon as he sees him again for almost snitching on him.

He gasped “You’ve been talking with Chanyeol about me behind my back?” he added “I did not expect this from you, tsk tsk. If you want to know how I am, just ask me, not that idiot.” You then said “Well he did tell me something you haven’t told me. Come on Baekhyun, I’m your bestfriend, shouldn’t you feel comfortable enough to tell me if something is bothering you? I know I’m not always full of advice to give you but I’m always here to listen to anything you want to rant or just talk about” you finished, putting your hand on the top of his arm that was resting on the table and caressing it while looking at him with a sweet smile in your face.

He reciprocated a small smile to you as he put his other hand on top of the hand you were caressing him with. “It’s now that, I know I can trust you Y/n, but it’s just not that easy” he admitted while avoiding eye contact. He knew that if he looked up to your doll like eyes again while you touched him so softly, he’d crack and tell you everything in that moment and he didn’t want that. He wanted to wait a bit more, enjoy this moment with you just for a little longer just in case things went badly after he confesses to you.

You were about to ask him what exactly wasn’t so easy to talk about as he just claimed but your thoughts were interrupted by the waiter greeting the both of you and asking for your orders. You sighed quietly and smiled politely to the waiter to then look at your menu quickly and choosing the most appealing meal you could find. You knew something was up with Baekhyun and obviously you wanted to know what was bothering him so much. It did worry you a bit but you decided to let him talk to you about it when he was ready to. You didn’t want to rush him and possibly make him feel a bit more stressed because of it.

After the waiter left, he got oddly quiet. You guessed it was because of what you had previously were talking to him about and felt a little bad. You looked down at your lap, messing with the skirt of your dress, thinking of how to enlighten the conversation of at least change the subject he was clearly not comfortable enough to talk about in the moment. And then something popped into your head.

“You know,” you started telling him “you’re not the only one with secrets” that made him look up to you slightly confused. “There’s something you haven’t told me?” he said tilting his head unconsciously like a puppy. You giggled at his gesture and nodded “Yep, I was planning to tell you later on the week but I guess I can tell you now” you said and he nodded waiting for you to continue.

You inhaled and exhaled, feeling a bit nervous for what your best friend thought about what you were about to tell him but you pushed your anxiety aside because you knew he would support you through everything, like he always had.

“Well I have two things to tell you actually” you started saying “The first one is that I was offered a really good job outside the country. They’re going to pay me a really good amount per hour and also pay for my transportation. I know what you’re gonna say; it’s far away. But I’ve thought about it for sometime and I think it’s a good idea” you ended. He didn’t have any specific expression on his face, it was very serious and blank, but you knew him well enough to know he didn’t feel the happiest about it.

He continued to look at you and sighed, taking this information in. You, his bestfriend and girl he was madly in love with was going to move far away from him for sometime, who knows how many years. It pained him the thought of not being able to see you often as he would, not being able to share more times together or not having a chance at a relationship with you. Distance was going to be a pain in the ass, he knew skype calls and text messages wouldn’t cover or makeup for anything they can do in the moment together. But he also knew how hardworking you were and if you were even considering it, it must be because you wanted it.

“What did your parents say about this?” he asked “I know they wont be pleased with not having you around them”. You replied “I haven’t told anyone besides you, Baekhyun” and added “I was going to tell everyone this weekend but, I guess I just couldn’t wait to tell you”. That made Baekhyun’s heart skip a beat. You didn’t say it with the intention of making him feel some type of way but the your voice was so soft and lovely in his ears, he couldn’t help but to feel special.

He quickly snapped out of his little daze when the waiter came to their table serving them their orders. They both thanked the waiter as he walked away and began eating. Baekhyun paused himself, wanting to continue the conversation and said to you “Well, you better not think you’re getting rid of me that easily Y/n. You’ll have to do more than just move far away to do that” you laughed at his comment and said “Oh I’m sure it wont be easy but don’t worry because you aren’t getting rid of me either. I’ll come back for the holidays and gossip with Chanyeol to keep tracks on you” and he laughed loudly at that.

“But there’s also something else I have to tell you” you said catching his attention. He lifted his look from his food and stared at you waiting for you to continue. “You know Sehun from our hometown?” you asked and he responded “Oh Sehun, the one who was in our elementary school?” you nodded. He said “Yeah I remember him, barely but I do. What about him?” you then paused for a minute trying to collect the words to say and ease this to him. He was always understanding and supportive when it came to the decisions you took but even then, you didn’t fail to feel nervous as the words were about to come out of your mouth.

“He contacted me not so long ago and we started hanging out” you said “He’s actually really funny and cool. He dances amazingly too, like a professional dancer-” and without noticing you proceeded to rabble on about him to Baekhyun. Baekhyun began to feel jealous as you talked a bout another guy so deeply to him. He balled his fists under the table so you couldn’t see them as  thoughts about where this was going clouded his mind. Something told him to stop listening, to just get up and go. But he didn’t. He couldn’t.

He cut you off, unable to let himself hurt even more and asked “Your point is?”. You stopped your rambling and cleared your throat to talk. “I’m in a relationship now, with Sehun” you said looking at his face to see his reaction when you announced to him the news. But you began to feel strange as there was no expression, he was just blank.

In Baekhyun’ s mind, he was in chaos. He knew this would happen sooner or later if you didn’t feel the same for him but he didn’t know it would hurt this bad. It was like a blow to the heart. He didn’t even get to tell you how he felt, damn it, he thought. If he would have talked to you sooner. If you wouldn’t have met Sehun again. If you actually would have fallen for him, he wouldn’t be hurting so badly. He thought about all of this but he knew deep inside, there was no point to think about the it’s and what if’s.

The reality of the situation was presented to him with a spoon full of sugar but it tasted to bitter to him. He couldn’t swallow and digest it. The thought of you being in love with another man made his stomach turn. The thought of you being touched, kissed, caressed, loved by someone else made him sick. He wanted to spit out this awful truth but he couldn’t. He loved you and loving someone means taking care of and wanting only the best for them. And if loving you meant he’d just have to let you go and let you be happy with another man, he was willing to do just that. Just for you.

You stayed seated anxiously as the minutes flew by and you waited for his response. He stayed dangerously stiff also, not flinching at all when you moved in your seat. You wanted to know what he was thinking, what was running through his mind that had him so lost in thought. You wanted to say something and pull him out of his thoughts but you didn’t for some reason, you just sat there waiting for him to speak again. And he did.

Baekhyun sighed as he directed his eyes back to your face. The face he looked at with so much love was now full of worry. He took his hand from under the table to take yours. His thumb caresses your hand as he savored this little moment in his head. He pasted a smile on his face for you as he finally responded “I’m really happy for you Y/n, I hope he makes you really happy” in a caring tone. You smiled at him as the weight was lifted of your shoulders. Seeing him so supportive made you happy and glad you told him before anyone else. You squeezed his hand in yours and said “Thank you so much Baekhyun, you have no idea how much this means to me” making him squeeze your hand back and reply “Just as long as he’s a good guy and treats you right, I’ll approve it. If you’re happy, I’m happy”.

You felt your smile grow even larger if it was possible and looked at him. You both pulled your hands away and went to continue eating. As you were about to lift up the fork, you felt your phone vibrate in your purse. You took your bag and looked at your phone. It was a message from Sehun saying  he’d come to pick you up and he was waiting outside. You looked out and quickly spotted his car.

“I’m sorry Baek but I have to get going” you said to him as you began to lift up and stand from your seat “Sehun came to pick me up”. His gaze never left his plate as he nodded and said “Oh okay, I’ll see you around then”. You said your goodbyes and before walking out you hugged him from behind and said “Thanks for everything, I really appreciate it” and he replied “Anything for you, Y/n” and with that you un wrapped your arms from him and walked away.

You got outside and walked directly to Sehun who was leaning against his car in the parking lot. “Who was that?” he was asked and you couldn’t help but laugh at his straight-forwardness. You kissed his cheek and walked to the passenger side telling him “Baekhyun his my bestfriend, don’t stress about it”. You both sat in the car and you continued saying “In fact, I want you two to met soon” and he nodded his head. “Well if he is your bestfriend then he must be a good guy” he said and you mumbled “He sure is” as the car drove off and you were on your way home.

Baekhyun stood up later after you left and called the waiter to pay the bill. At this point his appetite was gone and he just wanted to leave, wanting nothing more that swim in the bed sheets of his room and sleep, hoping to dream with a reality far better than this one.

He stepped out of the restaurant and walked to his cars with his keys in hand. He opened the door and sat down in the driver seat. Closing the door he took a deep breath, still taking in what just had happened. Turning on the car radio in hopes to distract himself, he rested his head on the staring wheel and listened to the songs being played. After a while, he lifted his head and started the car. He could already feel the wetness in his cheek from the tears that had ran down his face. He couldn’t help them. He was alone and vulnerable so he let himself go while he was driving home. His vision was cloudy and it was almost not possible to see the road correctly but he couldn’t help it. He just loved you that much.


A/N: So sad! And the best/worst thing is that there wasn’t someone who was being the antagonist, both characters were doing what they thought was best. There will be a second part where they meet again though, so yeah. Any questions or thoughts leave them in my inbox! Take care, sweeties *waves goodbye*

Your A Girl?

MOVIE : MAZE RUNNER 
COUPLE : NEWT X READER
RATING : SMUTTY

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Derek Hale Imagine- Love You Forever

Masterlist

Authors note- So it’s a bit different to my usual imagines, but I hope you enjoy it. You can find the song that inspired me here.

“Turn me” you said, coming face to face with your boyfriend. “No Y/n. I’ve told you before, you don’t want this” he exclaimed. “But I do” you remarked, folding your arms over your chest. “Somethings wrong” he said raising his eyebrows at you. “No” you said laconically, knowing he would hear your heart beat rise. “There is, isn’t there?” he sighed. You nod your head gently and bit your lip to stop it from quivering. He lifted you up and placed you on the kitchen counter top, the place you usually sat when you two were having trouble. “Recently, I’ve been starting to get sick again and my mom got worried and took me to the hospital-” you began. Derek’s heart sank. It brought him back to a similar time a few months back, the Darach had held you in an abandoned building for weeks to try and get to Derek. Unfortunately for you, the building had a high asbestos level and you ended up fighting for your life with asbestos poising. “Well I’ve now been diagnosed with Asbestosis and its why I’ve been so tired lately and why my chest is always in pain" you said, your voice cracked because you were on the brink of tears, you had your whole life ahead of you and it all seemed to come crumbling down. ”So what does that mean? Another operation? Antibiotics? Physio?” he began asking, in a sort of panic. “There’s no cure” you said, as tears began to stain your cheeks. You saw his face deflate, the sadness that clouded his eyes as he walked over and pulled you into a tight embrace. “We’ll get through this” he reassured. “I don’t want to go through this again” you sobbed into his chest. “Babe, I’m here and ill be with you every step of the way. But you’ve got to keep strong” he said, tangling his fingers in your hair. “What if I cant? What am I going to tell the pack? I don’t want them to feel sorry for me, but they’ll know somethings up” you rambled. “Y/n, look at me. Look at me!” he said gently. “We are going to get through this together, without the use of the supernatural. I’m going to be here every step of the way” he continued after you met his eyes. “Promise?” you asked with an involuntarily pout, you held your pinky finger out. “I promise babygirl” he said without hesitation, joining to pinky promise you. It was childish, but it was yours. You loved him and he adored you, you were just glad you had a boyfriend like him to support you through something like this.

Weeks had gone by and things only seemed to get better. The pack didn’t suspect anything, due to Derek teaching you how to hide your chemo signals and the pain was almost non existent especially with Derek removing it any chance he got. The only thing that seemed to be an annoyance was all the check-ups at the doctors and the constant coughs you caught. Derek had stuck to his word, he hadn’t left your side once. For a time you felt like a normal teenager; you moaned about homework, left important essays to the last minute, made plans with Stiles to prevent you all from getting killed, snuck out in the middle of the night to meet your boyfriend and worried about pointless things like your favourite show ending (Because Same). You were even invited to one of the biggest parties of the year, including the rest of the pack. Maybe things were starting to look up for you after all.

“Allison, Scott, Y/n!, come on we’re leaving!” Stiles shouted from downstairs. The two of you were trying to help him after he accidently split his jeans (long story). “One second” Scott shouted, followed by a wince after Allison accidently pricked his skin. “My arm is getting tired, hurry up” you whined, you had to hold him up while Allison sewed his jeans. “Guys come on, we’ll be late if there’s traffic!” Stiles shouted up again, obviously getting restless. “Go and start the engine then” Allison shouted in frustration, finding the task more difficult than it should have been. “What’s taking so long?” Lydia asked as she swung open Scott’s bedroom door. “Forget I asked” she added, slowly backing out of the room. “I’m just sewing his jeans and Y/n is holding him up” Allison let out a giggle after realising how weird it must have looked. “You do know you could of taken the jeans off and then sewed them?” Lydia shook her head. The three of you sighed at the same time and you and Allison stood back up. “That would of been a lot easier” you confirmed with a head nod. Lydia shook her head again and laughed, before gesturing for you all to hurry up. When you all got into the jeep, Stiles was staring at you all in hopes of some sort of apology for keeping him waiting. You all simply ignored it, you ruffled his hair and Scott punched him playfully in the arm. “I’m glad you came Y/n” Stiles smiled at you through the wing mirror. “I always come to parties?” you smiled but with a questioning look. “You never come to parties without Derek” Scott agreed. “Well, sometimes you just got to live it up- any day could be your last” you mumbled the last part. Allison shot a quizzical look from next to you, but brushed it off after you began singing happily to the radio a few seconds later.

You hadn’t been at the party for more than an hour when you started getting chest pain, you tried to convince yourself it was just heartburn from the vodka shots, but you knew different. You stumbled into the bathroom and began doing the breathing exercises your doctor taught you, but they didn’t seem to be working. You reached in your pocket to call Derek but the numbers in your phone became blurred. You felt light headed until you finally passed out and hit your head on the tiled floor. It was no longer than five minutes before Lydia found you and called the others for help. Scott and Stiles carried you into the kitchen as Allison swiped everything off the counter top. They placed you down and began to panic, after all they had no idea what you were actually dealing with. “Call an ambulance and you, call Derek” Allison began to order, as her Argent medical training kicked in. “What should I do?” Lydia asked, desperate to help. “Get a wet cloth and hold it on her head where she’s bleeding” she said quickly. She checked your pulse and her eyes widened. “Scott, Scott she’s not breathing” Allison panicked. “Please hurry she isn’t breathing” Scott repeated as he ended the 911 call. “Y/n wake up” “Y/n hold on, an ambulance will be here soon” “Does anyone no CPR?” “Come on Y/n, wake up!”.

“Hey, hey” the figure spoke softly as you sat up. “Am I at the hospital?” you asked, as your eyes began to adjust to the harsh light. “Yeah, you stopped breathing” he said, not wanting to confuse you by giving you every detail. “Do they know?” you asked. “Scott overheard the doctors debriefing one another, I had to tell them. They had a feeling something was up anyway” he explained, not sure how you would react. “Oh” you simply said. “They’re speaking to Mellissa at the reception, do you want me to bring them in?” he asked, understanding that you needed your friends. “I’m going to die, aren’t I?” you sighed. “No and don’t think like that” he linked his hand with yours to soothe you. You took a deep breath, feeling a tight pain in your chest. You then saw the veins in Derek’s hand turn black as he took your pain away. “I’m scared” you admitted. “I wont let anything happen to you, none of us will. If it came to it we’d do something” he reassured. “I love you” you cupped his cheek with your hand. “I love you too” he reached over and kissed you sweetly on your forehead. It was warming to know that you were the only one to make broody Derek smile and ne the sweet person he really is. “I’m scared that you’ll get tired of having to deal with my medical issue all the time, what if you find someone that’s fit and healthy, that keeps you far away from hospitals all the time? The same ones that I drag you in to every other week” you rambled. “I’m never leaving you, don’t stress baby” he smiled gently. “I hope that’s true” you smiled weakly but genuinely in return.

A While Later

Your health only seemed to be getting better, until it wasn’t. A few weeks after your birthday you got sick again and things took a turn for the worst. You almost died, you would have died. But here you are, alive and well, happily strolling around Beacon Hills at 10am (a habit you gained recently). You heard a twig snap from behind you. You turned around, your eyes glowing gold and a smile tugging at the corners of your mouth. You ran and jumped, and they caught you. “I see someone’s wolf instincts have kicked in” he laughed. You let out a small growl, followed by your familiar laugh. You then pressed your lips to Derek’s and ruffled his hair, before you quickly pinned him to the ground. “Rule number one, never get distracted” you teased, mocking the werewolf training he had been giving you. “Rule number 2, look for their weak spot” he said, kicking you in the back of the leg, causing you to fall on top of him. “Cheat, you knew about that” you said, noticing his smug smirk. You picked yourself up and offered your hand out and Derek took it, bring himself to also stand up. You pulled him down so you could whisper in his ear, “You forgot rule number three, never trust your opponent”  and with that you pulled him back onto the floor. “Looks like you’re going to be good at this” he groaned from the floor. “I know right” you joked, causing him to trip you up so you fell beside him. “Fancy getting something to eat?” he asked, as you also groaned. “Pizza” you smiled. “Pizza it is” he replied. You gave him a quick kiss, before you both rolled over and stood up. He brushed the leaves off your bum as you linked your arm with his. Your life was finally coming back together and you wouldn’t have it any other way. Or with anyone else.

I think I’m a fan of these optimistic endings, it appears. Requests are closed Unfortunately. Until the next time, see you later loves x

The Demon King
MCC [Magna Carta Cartel]
The Demon King

~ Coming from someone who suffers from anxiety and depression, I can’t begin to express my feelings for this song whatsoever. And not just this song, but this band and the man behind its lyrics. I wish I knew the right words to say, but as always Martin and his work leaves me speechless. To read and listen about the struggles this man goes through and simultaneously thinking over all the obstacles i’ve faced/still am facing, this song is incredibly personal to me. I’m handling myself a lot better nowadays, not to say I haven’t fallen a few times, but now I have something to lean on. MCC lives and helps me to do the same. ~