something i ask myself every day

Sometimes I feel hollow inside, like an empty drum. I work, I talk to people, I laugh, I do things to keep busy… but it all feels so empty. It’s a purposeless routine… I have no real direction and I can’t see my life changing any time soon. I know this is better than the constant agony I used to feel when you first left but sometimes I wonder – Is this what ‘getting better’ is?… Is this all it will ever be… this emptiness?
I know you shouldn’t believe that a person can complete you. You’re supposed to be a complete person on your own… and I was… I always have been… But I wasn’t a HAPPY person. I just sort of ‘existed’ and did things because that’s what you’re supposed to do…
But I never felt inspired by anything and I was never really happy until I met you. And it’s hard to let go of that. It’s something so many people take for granted every day and I absolutely cherished every second of it… but losing it was hard. And I’m doing my best… I tell myself “head up, don’t cry, and look ahead not behind” but even my own laughter sounds different now… false and hollow as it echoes around my empty chest.
And those are times it’s hardest not to miss you, when I’m smiling or laughing on the outside but feeling so little on the inside and I ask myself; is this really getting better? Or is this just the numbness you feel when you’ve felt too much pain for too long?
—  Ranata Suzuki 
You know, in this town, an artist really needs a lot of space when they’re trying to create something special. A place to cultivate a world of their own, far away from the real world that’s around them. Luckily for me, I live right inside the middle of the “H” of the Hollywood sign. And this is how I spend most of my nights: perched high above the chaos that swirls within the city of angels below. Now don’t get me wrong, I love to dip my toe into the muck and the mires of the city every now and then, especially on Tuesdays. But truthfully, when I’m in the middle of making a record, especially now when the world is in the middle of such a tumultuous period, I find I really need to take the space for myself far away from real life, to consider what my contribution to the world should be in these dark times. So each morning, I have the luxury of asking myself, “What shall I cook up for the kids today? Something with a little spice? Something with a little bitterness but is ultimately sweet? Or shall I take the day off and turn down the fire, and just take a moment to send my love to them over the ether?” Because sometimes, just being pure of heart and having good intentions and letting them be known is the most worthy contribution an artist can make. So, even though these times can feel a little bit crazy, they’re not so very different from what other generations have experienced at one time or another before. Amidst all the uncertainty, and as we transition out of one era into another one, there’s no place I’d rather be than smack dab in the middle of “Hollyweird” making this record for you. Because you, and the music, and this place, are my love, my life, my lust for life.
—  Lana Del Rey announces her new record Lust for Life

Hey guys! Haven’t made a quotes masterpost in a while, so I created one for the composes! And I know it’s a different header format, but I wanted to try it out! As always, I hope you enjoy these quotes and find them inspirational, like I have.

Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart

  • “I pay no attention whatever to anybody’s praise or blame. I simply follow my own feelings.”

Johannes Brahms

  • “Without craftsmanship, inspiration is a mere reed shaken in the wind.”

Virgil Thomson

  • “Let your mind alone, and see what happens.”
  • “I don’t go around regretting things that don’t happen.”
  • “Try a thing you haven’t done three times. Once, to get over the fear of doing it. Twice, to learn how to do it. And a third time to figure out whether you like it or not.”

Franz Schubert

  • “Easy mind, light heart. A mind that is too easy hides a heart that is too heavy.”
  • “The moment is supreme.”
  • “The world resembles a stage on which every man is playing a part.”
  • “You believe happiness to be derived from the place in which once you have been happy, but in truth it is centered in ourselves.”

Gustav Mahler

  • “It should be one’s sole endeavor to see everything afresh and create it anew.”
  • “Fortunately, something always remains to be harvested. So let us not be idle.”
  • “A symphony must be like the world. It must contain everything.”
  • “It is easier to achieve a desired result in short pieces.”
  • “Never let oneself be guided by the opinion of one’s contemporaries. Continue steadfastly on one’s way.”
  • “The point is not to take the world’s opinion as a guiding star but to go one’s way in life and working unerringly, neither depressed by failure nor seduced by applause.”
  • “I don’t let myself get carried away by my own ideas - I abandon 19 out of 20 of them every day.”

Claude Debussy

  • “A beautiful sunset that was mistaken for a dawn.”
  • “Works of art make rules; rules do not make works of art.”

John Cage

  • “We are involved in a life that passes understanding and our highest business is our daily life.”
  • “We carry our homes within us which enables us to fly.”
  • “The first question I ask myself when something doesn’t seem to be beautiful is why do I think it’s not beautiful. And very shortly you discover that there is no reason.”
  • “I can’t understand why people are frightened of new ideas. I’m frightened of the old ones.”
  • “There is no such thing as an empty space or an empty time. There is always something to see, something to hear. In fact, try as we may to make a silence, we cannot.”
  • “We need not destroy the past. It is gone.”
  • “When we separate music from life we get art.”

Leonard Bernstein

  • “To achieve great things, two things are needed; a plan, and not quite enough time.”

Franz Liszt

  • “Beware of missing chances; otherwise it may be altogether too late some day.”
  • “Inspiration is enough to give expression to the tone in singing, especially when the song is without words.”

George Gershwin

  • “Life is a lot like jazz… it’s best when you improvise.”
  • “True music must repeat the thought and inspirations of the people and the time.”
  • “I frequently hear music in the very heart of noise.”
  • “It is always possible to create something original.”

Ludwig van Beethoven

  • “I will seize fate by the throat; it shall certainly never wholly overcome me.”
  • “What you are, you are by accident of birth; what I am, I am by myself. There are and will be a thousand princes; there is only one Beethoven.”
  • “This is the mark of a really admirable man: steadfastness in the face of trouble.”
  • “Don’t only practice your art, but force your way into its secrets; art deserves that, for it and knowledge can raise man to the divine.”
Angsty Bojack Horseman Sentence Starters
  • “The most important thing is, you got to give the people what they want, even if it kills you.”
  • “You know, sometimes I feel like I was born with a leak, and any goodness I started with just slowly spilled out of me.”

  • “Life is a series of closing doors, isn’t it?”

  • “Am I a good person?”

  • “That’s the problem with life, either you know what you want and you don’t get what you want, or you get what you want and then you don’t know what you want.“ 

  • “There’s nothing for you behind you. All that exists is what’s ahead." 

  • "Family is a sinkhole, and you were right to get out when you had the chance." 

  • “I don’t understand how people… live. It’s amazing to me that people wake up every morning and say: ‘Yeah, another day, let’s do it.’ How do people do it? I don’t know how.” 

  • “You didn’t know me and then you fell in love with me. And now you know me.” 

  • “Closure is a made up thing by Steven Spielberg to sell movie tickets”.

  • “We’re just two lonely people trying to hate ourselves a little less.” 

  • “I don’t think I believe in ‘deep down’. I think that all you are is just the things that you do.”

  • “You were born broken, that’s your birthright.”

  • “You know what your problem is? You want to think of yourself as the good guy.”

  • “you’re a selfish goddamn coward who just takes whatever he wants and doesn’t give a shit about who he hurts. That’s you.”

  • “You know, it’s funny… when you look at someone through rose-colored glasses, all the red flags just look like flags.”

  • “I’m sorry, alright? I screwed up, I- I know I screwed up.”

  • “You can’t keep doing shitty things and then feel bad about yourself like that makes it okay! You need to be better!”

  • “You are all the things that are wrong with you.”

  • “Fuck, man. What else is there to say?”

  • “We’re not doomed. In the great, grand scheme of things, we’re just tiny specks that will one day be forgotten.”

  • “The only thing that matters is right now, this moment, this one spectacular moment we are sharing together.”

  • “I don’t understand how people… live. It’s amazing to me that people wake up every morning and say: ‘Yeah, another day, let’s do it.’ How do people do it? I don’t know how.”

  • “He’s so stupid he doesn’t realize how miserable he should be. I envy that.”

  • “It’s not about being happy, that is the thing. I’m just trying to get through each day.”

  • “I can’t keep asking myself ‘Am I happy?’ It just makes me more miserable.”

  • “It takes a long time to realize how truly miserable you are and even longer to see it doesn’t have to be that way.”

  • “When you do bad things, you have something you can point to when people eventually leave you. It’s not you, you tell yourself. It’s that bad thing you did.”

  • “It’s so cruel to let people love you. All you’re doing is promising you’ll one day break their hearts.”

  • “One day, you’re gonna look around and you’re going to realize that everybody loves you, but nobody likes you. And that is the loneliest feeling in the world.”

  • “There are some people you can’t save. Cause those people will thrash and struggle, and try to take you down with them.”
  • “ Hey, I wanted to talk to you about… you know. I feel bad about what happened.”
  • “I don’t forgive you.”
  • “No. I’m not gonna give you closure. You don’t get that. You have to live with the shitty thing you did for the rest of your life. You have to know that it’s never, ever going to be okay!”
  • “You have to believe me. I did everything I could.”
  • “I had a good life, but what I needed then was a friend! And you abandoned me. And I will never forgive you for that.”
  • “Now get the fuck out of my house!”
  • “ Look, I’m sorry about all the stuff I said about you earlier.”
  • “Do you… do you think it’s too late for me? I mean, am, am, am I just doomed to be the person that I am? “
  • “I, I, I need you to tell me that I’m a good person.”
  • “I just wanted to tell you that I know. I know you want to be happy, but you won’t be… and I’m sorry.”
  • “ What more do you want? What else could the universe possibly owe you? “
  • “I want to feel good about myself. The way you do. And I don’t know how. I don’t know if I can.”
  • “If you ever try to contact me or my family again, I will fucking kill you.”
  • “ You can’t just disappear. You really hurt a lot of people.”
  • “In this terrifying world, all we have are the connections that we make.”
  • “It’s so sad that when you see someone as they really are, it ruins them.”
  • “You like being there to rescue me. Because it makes you feel good about yourself.”
  • “ You know that I don’t do the whole love thing. Either you end up hurting someone or they hurt you. So what’s the point?”
  • “ Uh…. Oh, god, I’m drowning. I feel like I’m drowning.”
  • “Hey, we have all done shitty stuff before. Most of us aren’t as proud of it as you seem to be.”
  • “It doesn’t get better and it doesn’t get easier.”
  • “I can’t keep lying to myself thinking I’m gonna change, I’m poison.”
  • “I come from poison and I have poison inside me and I destroy everything I touch. That’s my legacy.”
  • “I have nothing to show for the life I have lived. And I have nobody in my life who’s better off for having known me.”
  • “You’re gonna wanna kill yourself, and there’s going to be no one left to stop you.” 
For the past 33 years, I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself: ‘If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?’ And whenever the answer has been ‘No’ for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something.
على مدى السنوات ال 33 الماضية، كنت انظر في المرآة كل صباح وأسأل نفسي “ إذا كان اليوم هو آخر يوم من حياتي، هل كنت سأقدم على فعل ما أنا على وشك القيام به اليوم؟” وكلما كان الجواب “لا ” لعدة أيام متتالية علمت أنني بحاجة لتغيير شيء ما.
—  Steve Jobs

materassassino  asked:

Allura and Lance, comparing the Broganes over a spa day.

           Lance stretched and leaned back. “Man, this is so much nicer than the pool.”

           It turned out the Castle had a “Rejuvenation Suite,” or, as Lance insisted on calling it, a “Space Spa.” Allura decided it wasn’t worth correcting him, especially not now.

           She and Lance were each ensconced in a single-person soaking tub filled with medicinal and rejuvenating herbs and salts. She’d chosen the “Relaxation” packet; Lance had gone for “Revitalizing”. Soft scents wafted through the room, changing from juniberry to starpetal to arcleaf, drifting from one to the other like a lazy hummingbee. There was a quiet background music, just loud enough to hear if you wanted to, but quiet enough to ignore if that was your desire. The lights dimmed and brightened at slow, random intervals, never getting too bright or too hot. It was like shifting sunlight.

           Lance had his eyes closed as he sighed happily. “Can I just live here? Like, can this be my room?”

           She laughed a little and closed her own eyes. “No. The Rejuvenation Suite is for everyone’s use. And if you bring Keith down here, you two have to behave. These tubs are single occupancy.”

           He snorted. “We’ll behave when you and Shiro behave.”

           She sat upright so quickly her tub sloshed a little. Fortunately, there was no spillage. “We behave!” she insisted.

           Lance cracked one eye to look at her doubtfully. “You two were behaving last week when we caught you in the kitchen? THAT was behaving?”

           Allura blushed and resettled herself in the tub. “Yes, actually, that was behaving.” She knew she probably shouldn’t, but the impulse hit her and she couldn’t help herself. “You should see what he’s like when we’re in the Black Lion together.”

           Lance snickered and closed his eyes. “I do not need to see that. Well… actually, I might not mind, but Keith would hit the ceiling.”

           “Really? He doesn’t seem sex-averse at all.”

           “Oh, trust me, Princess, he very much IS NOT.” She rolled her head over to find him grinning. “But he and Shiro have that whole ‘bro’ thing going on. He gets squidgy about it.”

           “‘Squidgy’?”

           “Yeah, y’know: squidgy.”

           “I know a dozen different languages, and none of them have such a word.”

           “It’s kind of like ‘ew’ but with more ‘ugh’ to it.”

           Her brow furrowed. “Anyway, he doesn’t like hearing about Shiro’s sex life? Is that the point you’re trying to make?”

           “Yeah, pretty much. I don’t mind though.”

           She laughed. “You already saw some of it! And, for the record, I was just trying to make tea. The rest of that was all his idea.” She cleared her throat. “Sometimes it feels like you and Keith aren’t even dating at all. If you hadn’t announced it over the Castle’s comm systems, I might not even believe it.”

           “Eh, Keith isn’t a big PDA person.”

           “Peedee… ?”

           “Eyyyyyyyyyy!” he finished with a grin. “Yeah, Public Displays of Affection. It kind of drove me nuts at first, but then I realized that it’s,” his voice softened from smugness into quiet satisfaction, “well, it’s kind of like I get to keep all of that to myself. Just for me.”

           “Aww, that’s kind of sweet.”

           “It is, isn’t it? It’s actually amazing how sweet Keith can be sometimes. Like, even when I think he’s not listening to me, and I’m just babbling and being annoying, he’ll say or do something days later that proves he really heard me. Like when I was running out of my moisturizer, and he…”

           “Oh, is that why he asked me about that? I thought maybe you were just rubbing off on him.”

           “Every chance I get!” Lance declared.

           She rolled her eyes, but stayed on subject. “He got that for you?”

           “Yeah, he did. And it works great, by the way!”

           “You are glowing,” she confirmed, “but I just assumed that was because of Keith himself and not the new skincare product.”

           Lance blushed a little but rolled his head over, opened both eyes, and grinned. “I ain’t the only one glowin’ around here, sister.”

           “I am not your sister nor am I glowing.”

           “GLOOOWWWINNNNG,” he insisted in a sing-song voice. “Shiro smiles and you light up like a Christmas tree.”

           “I don’t know what that is, but I’m certain you’re overstating it.” She was trying to ignore the fact that her face was heating up.

           “He’s a little more PDA than Keith is, anyway. The little cheek kisses and things like that. You two are like something out of a storybook.”

           “Oh, stop that, we are not.”

           “You totally are! The beautiful princess and her dashing knight! Er, paladin, in this case. It’s perfect.”

           “Well, you and Keith are the brothers-in-arms who always have each other’s backs, fighting side-by-side against evil. So I’m fairly certain you’re a storybook refugee yourself.”

           Lance grinned widely and leaned back against the tub. “Face it, Allura: You and I are pretty much the two luckiest people in the universe.”

           She smirked a little. “No, we’re not. Shiro and Keith are.”

           “I stand corrected.”

100 days of productivity

hey guys! some of you may have noticed that lately I have been posting daily pictures with a concept called 100 days of productivity. at first, this was just a method I was using to keep myself on track, but after receiving multiple messages either asking permission to use the idea or asking to explain the idea, I’ve decided to make a post to explain this and hopefully get other blogs in on it!

what is it about?

the general idea of 100 days of productivity is to make sure that everyday you do something- anything productive. it embraces the concept that by chipping away at least a little bit of that big pile of work we all have every day, we can make huge changes for the future.

how can I join?

its simple! just post a picture everyday with which day it is out of 100 (ex: 3/100 days of productivity) and tag it as 100 days of productivity. keep this going for 100 days straight and see how much you’ve accomplished!! 

help get the word out!!

reblog this post to help let other studyblrs know about this idea!! as I really would like this to get out there, I will be following many of the people I see using this tag!!

disclaimer: I am not claiming to be the first person to use this concept. I did not steal this idea from anyone and did come up with it on my own, but I have also been made aware that others have used this idea before!!

happy studying everyone!!

Day 1: My room turned into a ocean. I swear I found fishes and sharks swarming into my lungs. Or maybe that was the remains of you trying not to escape but desperately needing to
Day 2: You weren’t at school today and I should’ve been happy, I was more sad
Day 3: I thought I was ready to move on, then I saw you with her.
Day 4: We haven’t spoken in days now. My mind thinks its being shoved off a cliff.
Day 5: I wish it would just hit the bottom
Day 6: This will be the first weekend we dont hang out. I know you’ll be seeing her and I know youll be smiling without me. I’m trying hard to learn how to too
Day 7: I asked you for help on a history assignment and you replied with “Ask Amber im busy”. I texted back: “Tell Emma I said hi”
Day 8: You posted a video with her on the only social media site you have. When I saw it I erupted. I spewed lava every where, oh god its every where
Day 9: My mom made me sleep next to her on the couch. She was afraid I would try and do something like I did two years ago when another guy tore up my heart. I actually had thought about it
Day 10: I slept in your sweatshirt one last time so i can feel myself engulfed in you. I know you wanted them back so I had to feel you and smell you one last time.
Day 11: I gave you all of your stuff back and you thought I looked like a warrior but really I went home and tried getting you out of my bloodstream
Day 12: when will my eyes stop flowing?
Day 13: I snuck out with a boy and smoked weed on his couch. He talked about love and how much it hurt. I only pictured you.
Day 14: I woke up next to that same boy and I woke up screaming. The boy was worried and confused but I knew why I screamed. I imagined you laying with another girl on your couch. I ran out of his house so fast you’d think Id be better at running from you.
Day 15: Its spring break and im with my best friend and your with her and i swear i can feel you tracing her spine the way you used to trace mine
Day 16: I ignored your birthday and it felt worse than the puking i did that night
Day 17: Im treading icy water while you’re swimming away from me, I guess I just hope you’ll loop around and find your way back to the shattered, but still there, us
Day 18: I don’t remember the sound of your voice I don’t remember the color of your eyes I don’t remember your the taste of your lips
Day19: No amount of screaming gets your name out of my head
Day 20: I got on a plane today and when we took off I swear i almost walked to the door and started flying
Day 21: They say it takes 21 days fo break a habit but I think I just manage to fall more in love with a greedy monster
Day 22: I saw you today and wished you a happy late birthday and promised we’d watch the third Hobbit together. I’m beginning to hate myself more
Day 23: Its the end of the month maybe next month won’t be filled with thoughts of you and killing myself. i think im beginning to be over you
Day 24: april fools
Day 25: i think i understand now. when you first told me you loved me your mouth curled up on the edges, two days before you left when i gave my bare self to you your mouth was a straight line when saying i love you
Day 26: if you’re trying to kill me its working
Day 27: i woke up this morning to my blankets and pillows piled in a corner in my room. its something s ghost would do to make his presence known. im haunting myself. or maybe its the ghost of us tsking over my body
Day 28: its almost been a month since you told me it was never me. i almost texted you happy easter but i saw those text messages and just got angry
Day 29: I hate that you act like you didnt break my heart. i hate that you think im fine that im not writing a shit poem sbout your shit personality
Day 30: thirty days since you’ve wanted me. thirty days since i told you i love you. thirty days since you’ve slipped from my fingers. i tried catching you. you’ve been gone far too long. thirty days is too long
Day 31: i had a nightmare last night about you. you told me you loved me and kissed my forehead. i woke up breathing heavily and shaking. i want you out of my life
Day 32: running on no sleep isn’t fun
Day 33: ive been awake for over 50 hours in fear that ill see you in my dreams again. i cant risk that. it hurts so much. get out of my head
Day 34: my mother told me that love will do this. that its cruel and torturous and breaks you into such little pieces not even yourself can pick up all the pieces. you know where they all are, please come back and pick them up
Day 35: i talked to another guy last night we stayed up late and he asked me questions about you. we were sober so it wasn’t easy spitting up vowels and similies and euphemisms explaining the empty feeling in my chest after you left
Day 36: fuck if i stopped seeing you everyday i swear id be over you.
Day 37: my knee didnt touch your leg like it used it i promise i didnt do that fuck
Day 38: you told me that the wrinkles on my leg bothered you when i sat down. thats not what you said when we were trying not to get caught in the back of your car
Day 39: you told me you’d take me to prom and in two days itll just be another day you promised to spend with me. its funny how our plans turned to dust in a matter of seconds after cleaning
Day 40: the thunderstorm of us was inside of you and maybe that why it felt so close. i keep counting the seconds between the boom and light hoping you arent moving away buy i fear that you are already letting others feel your storm. the plants you grew are dying. maybe you should come back to water them
Day 41: ten days since its been a month since you left. i cried at prom because all i could look for in the crowd was you.
Day 42: i got so drunk all i could see was your face. the guy i fucked kept telling me his name wasn’t yours. i just screamed and cried because you’re all i still think about despite your efforts to continue to push me away
Day 43: i should be getting high today but if i do ill just write more and think more about a guy who will never care
Day 44: i think im trying to gain feelings for someone else because it’ll make moving on from you easier. im afraid to write that it hasnt
Day 45: you traces my leg like you used to. it was like dandelion tea. it made my insides fill with happiness. you’re my yellow paint.
Day 46: Van Gogh used to eat yellow paint because he thought it would put happiness inside him. He would consume it everyday in the hopes that it would bring his sadness to rest despite the fact that it could kill him first. i gues you were my yellow paint emphasis on the were. see im not going to write about you anymore, because when i write you down im under the impression that you’ll stay with the words but you don’t. this is the last sentence I’ll ever write about you

youtube

#herauraloud for the #blackout.

I really hope everyone who’s been keeping tabs on my progress and supporting my art enjoys this video. it’s been almost one year since I’ve released this song, and I’m humbled to say that I’ve spent each day making progress and rebuilding myself through the love I’ve received from all of you.

I appreciate each person who’s reached out to me on here; each person who’s graciously answered my asks, every single person who’s reblogged my music whether we’ve spoken or not. none of your support fell on deaf ears or blind eyes. it means the world to me that something I made could impact people in this way, and that so many people are open to new art.

this is for the women who loved me back to life.

@khalidahcarrington @hood2go @tough-heart-and-real-art @ebtcard @bonjourbreanna @raine-eyy @mabinatittyyy @diekingdomcome @universalchild @eb-doesit @2opinionatedblackgirls @momworries @th3blackestberry @dvnielia @earthformelanin @yourneighborhoodnerd @walksoftlytay @lexluna24 @optimisticcyn1c @yasgawd @anisie-piece @slayyadanne @britaughtu @yoourambitions @lilkimhov @dasheionunique @adimu @lex-is-more @nybanks @acuraintnegra @partydeeznuts @valcoholics @vanjess @vanesssika @blkbruja @blkgirlmagik @theladyinthestripeddress @obey-lo @pa-tricie @shininginhersplendor @tequilawithmycheerios @landoftheacid @shoutshaniax @dopeempress @shootmeadub @yobootyassgirl @theemisstalley @ayabatobi @meghanbeda @ohbrae @gunzonyatmblr @cashmerethoughtsss @jettestblack @jeniphyer @rebelle-black @er-let @jemthesis @yagazieemezi @beautifulsdot @queenrayjean @rdsise @kingdomy @preeminentttt @sparkmynaturesugarfly @0neiroi @feelafreek @aintnosuchthingastoothick @cassiekaygee @luvheritage @theblackoutofficial @queenhermela @getfitblackgirl @howyoulikeyoeggsgirl @trillsnacks2 @lilpicassa @empresssun @thesundippedinblack @hymcfly

2

“You know, in this town, an artist really needs a lot of space when they’re trying to create something special. A place to cultivate a world of their own, far away from the real world that’s around them. Luckily for me, I live right inside the middle of the “H” of the Hollywood sign. And this is how I spend most of my nights: perched high above the chaos that swirls within the city of angels below. Now don’t get me wrong, I love to dip my toe into the muck and the mires of the city every now and then. Especially on Tuesdays. But truthfully, when I’m in the middle of making a record, especially now when the world is in the middle of such a tumultuous period, I find I really need to take the space for myself far away from real life, to consider what my contribution to the world should be in these dark times. So each morning, I have the luxury of asking myself, “What shall I cook up for the kids today? Something with a little spice? Something with a little bitterness but is ultimately sweet? Or shall I take the day off and turn down the fire, and just take a moment to send my love to them over the ether?” Because sometimes, just being pure of heart and having good intentions and letting them be known is the most worthy contribution an artist can make. So, even though these times can feel a little bit crazy, they’re not so very different from what other generations have experienced at one time or another before. Amidst all the uncertainty, and as we transition out of one era into another one, there’s no place I’d rather be than smack-dab in the middle of “Holly-weird” making this record for you. Because you, and the music, and this place, are my love, my life, my lust for life."

Note: I originally posted this 3 years ago, but here it is again for those of you who may need to grasp at something tonight…


While I’m a pretty open book when asked about any of this, it’s not something I necessarily offer up without being prompted. I suppose the news about Robin Williams is prompt enough.

I missed my college graduation because I was declared “non-functional” and locked away in a mental health facility as a “moderate suicide risk.” Instead of celebrating my academic achievements, I was having shoelaces and pens kept from me. But I consider myself very fortunate. Somehow, in spite of the fact that I starved myself every day, repeatedly took a steak knife to my leg, and honestly didn’t even have enough feeling inside me to cry, I was able to hold on to one thing: the image of what my death would do to my mom and my sister. It’s probably what kept me alive.

That was over a decade ago. I’m now married, have four-month-old twins, and am stunned at how impossibly happy I am. Sure, there will always be bad days, the times I have to remember to forgive myself, but I’m so far removed from the person who spent nights having a flashlight shined in her face every hour to make sure she hadn’t died.

Knowing that yet another person couldn’t hold on, that the weight of depression crushed everything else in his life…it’s a reminder that this is a suffocating and quiet illness, and it doesn’t care who you are or how many people may love you. But maybe I can be a reminder that there is always a chance to make it to the other side. And I hope you all find your way there.

My Girls - Tom Holland x Reader imagine

Title: My Girls
Pairing: Tom Holland x Reader
Synopsis: DAD!TOM IS ALL I HAVE TO SAY
Word Count: 900
Warning: Dad!tom with his baby girl, prepare for the feels
A/N: This wasn’t requested, I originally had a request for dad!harrison but I was getting Tom vibes, so this happened. I will get to the Harrison request at some point, I swear. Credit to gif owner.
Tags: @sixtiesholland @babyparker @spideythewebsitter @lonely-entity @michelangelui @forelsket-feelings @honeymoon2nite @theonlyonelives @raindancer2004 @peterfightmeparker @punkiewitch @libbie-chan @parkery @kawaiitickles @spider-hlland @peterparkers-glasses @bitsyb21 @fangirl3939 @bendy-boi-the-dancing-demon @thefemalebradly @clean-and-claire @amypoooo @emilybillard @philipshay @dr-tardis-who @gotnotfeature @love-and-live-out-loud @butterscotch-quotes @stankspider @buckyxthe107plums @princessserena23 @afangirlssoul @angstriddenteenager @tbh-buffy @rosaetum @idontknowanyfear @queen-rcm @tomllholland @1022bridgetp

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4

I love my cat more than anything else in the world and right now, he needs help!

Last week I noticed Jack-Cat was peeing blood, on 7/7 so I took him to the vet where he was diagnosed with a UTI. Despite the medicine Jack got even worse, by Thursday he was curled up in the corner and yowling in pain and he refused to move. The next morning we went to the vet again and she discovered that his bladder was hard and blocked. He needed immediate treatment so they got him hooked up to a catheter and now he is staying at the hospital for the weekend to be monitored and have his urine tested.

The weekend stay at the vet is going to cost me $1500-$1800 and that isn’t including the costs of medicine once they determine how to treat him. I’m working out a deal with my mom so that he will get returned to us but at the end of the day I am going to be owing somebody about $2000 and I don’t have that money kind of money.  I couldn’t bring myself to ask for money without giving something in return so that’s why I’m opening these emergency commissions!

Here’s how it works:

Donating any amount of money will get you a full bodied black and white sketch of a single character.

However, donations of $20 and up will get a full body full colored drawing of a single character instead.

(I will draw guro and nudity but nothing explicitly nsfw)

Every dollar I make from these commission will go to Jack-Cat’s medical bills 

I can accept payment through paypal only, If you are interested send me an email at artbyfroyo@gmail.com and if not then please reblog! Any kind of help is deeply appreciated.

If Lance ever betrays the paladdins (and I hope to God he does if he just spends all of season 3 squawking and moaning every time Keith and Allura make eyes at each other)

Imagine him fighting against Pidge. She tries to dodge his attacks, but he moves with terrifying speed with lethal accuracy. Before she knows it, she’s shot and bleeding on the floor. He sneers down at her
“You have no idea how many times I’ve imagined this, Katie!” He spits her name out like it’s acid.
“I can’t tell you how many times I asked myself why I always stepped in to protect a snot-nosed brat like you whenever you mouthed off at the garrison”
He jams the end of his rifle into the wound on her shoulder and grins at the sound of her scream.
“Why was I putting my neck out for a scumbag who thought they were too good to give me so much as the time of day, outside the simulater?”
He stops smirking and rams the weapon deeper
“Do you have any idea what it’s like to work your ass off for something and be told every third second that you don’t deserve it?”
His eyes turn murky from the memory and he fires the gun on reflex, and blood is rapidly pooling on the floor, mixing with Lance’s tears of rage.
“AND THEN YOU FIND OUT THAT SOME GIRL GOT INTO THE GARRISON JUST TO PLAY MULAN, WITHOUT ANY TROUBLE WHATSOEVER, WHILE YOU HAD TO BE CONSTANTLY REMINDED THAT EVEN AFTER WORKING TOOTH AND NAIL, YOU ONLY MADE THE CUT BECAUSE SOME LOSER WITH A MULLET WANTED TO PLAY CONSPIRACY THEORIST?”
He pulls his mouth back into a distorted grimace and repositions the rifle so that he’s aiming for her head.
“If I had to paint the floor with anybody’s brain matter, Id prefer it to be Keith’s. But until I’ve got his freaky subhuman self in my sights, I’ll make do with you”

Data
I love you. I would never ask you to pick me over something that you love, something that gives you passion, something that moves you forward in life, and that is why I didn’t ask you to stay. I had to fight off every single urge inside my body just to let you go. It’s not that I didn’t fight for you; it was because I love you so much that I want what’s best for you even if it meant that I won’t be in the picture. Watching you leave was hard, but stopping myself from holding you back was even harder. This is the most selfless decision I have ever made, and I hope that you will understand where I’m coming from one day. Forgive me. One day you’ll look back and realize that our love was worth the sacrifice.
— 

-I hope by then we can try again.

-m.t.t.

anonymous asked:

hc of mc and rfa+v&saeran breaking up because of something terrible that happened, but they still love eachother, and after the breakup they don't talk for like six months and when they meet again in like a coffee shop or something on accident they become friends again and after a few days they're like LETS DO A ROUND TWO SHALL WE!~? i'd be really really grateful i love your writing🌟

This is so cute!

~Omg my heart!

{Requests are Closed}


◉ Yoosung

  • It had been a while since you saw Yoosung
  • Or even talked to him
  • You don’t know how things ended up the way they did
  • Your relationship went from passionate to feeling more like roommates
  • Yoosung was always on his computer instead of spending time with you
  • And one night you couldn’t take it anymore
  • You packed up your things and you both were crying
  • Saying maybe it was for the best
  • You spent a lot of teary nights staring at your phone thinking maybe he’d call or text
  • But he never did
  • And you never did…
  • You were out shopping and decided to grab a coffee
  • After paying and grabbing it from the counter
  • A familiar voice called your name from a table across the cafe
  • You turned to see the blonde boy sipping from a cup alone
    • “Yoosung?” you called out
  • He waved you over with a smile and you sat down
    • “I can’t believe I ran into you here! How are you doing?” he asked excitedly
    • “Oh, I’m doing alright. Hey…”
  • You stopped to point at him
    • “Is that my scarf?” you laughed
    • “Oh…hah, yeah, it is.,” he blushed, “this is embarrassing but, I found it in the closet after you left. And it smells like you…so I wear it.”
  • He blushed
  • You two ended up talking for a long time after that
  • He seemed to have grown a lot
  • He was more into his studies
  • And less on the computer
  • You were leaving separate ways
  • When he called for you
  • You turned around to find him there beside you
    • “MC. I’m not that nervous young boy anymore. I can’t help but think that there’s a reason we ran into each other today. So…will you please let me take you to dinner? On a date?”

◉ Jumin

  • He had gotten into the habit of working extra long hours at C&R
  • When you confronted him about it he seemed like he wouldn’t budge
    • “MC. You keep bringing it up but you know my answer remains the same. I like to work. You have everything you could need in the penthouse, why are you being so difficult?”
    • “Yes. Everything but you. I’m not asking for a lot, Jumin. But I can see you aren’t willing to work with me, here. So I’ll leave. I didn’t sign up to be alone in a big house by myself every day and night.”
  • You packed up your stuff and left
  • It was almost like he was in shock and didn’t believe it was really happening
  • He just let you go
  • A few days after that he was sending gifts to you
  • Flowers and jewelry
  • But you turned them all away
  •  This wasn’t something money and gifts could fix
  • Weeks went by and months went by but you guys still hadn’t talked
  • You were out shopping when you heard a familiar voice from behind you
    • “That color would look really nice on you.”
    • “Jumin?”
  • You turned around to see him standing there smiling
    • “What are you doing here? In the women’s section?”
    • “I followed you over when when I saw you walking around”
    • “Why does that not surprise me?” you laughed
  • Seeing him now made your heart melt
    • “Why didn’t you accept any of my gifts?” he asked, a bit offended
    • “Why didn’t you call?”
    • “Because you didn’t accept any of my gifts”
  • You both were staring at each other
    • “It seems I approached this all wrong…” he remarked apologetically
  • You gave a nod that says ‘yeah, ya messed up buddy’
    • “Allow me to buy this?” he pointed to the dress you had been looking at, “it really would look good on you”
    • “Only if you’ll make time to actually see me in it”
    • “You are my number one priority from now on. I’ll tell you that 100 times over dinner tonight.”

◉ Zen 

  • You had to leave him
  • He was getting so caught up in work that it was like you never existed
  • He read fan mail more than he talked to you some nights
  • It hurt that you had drifted like this
  • You just told him you needed some time apart 
  • And he was seemingly too busy to drop what he was doing and try to convince you otherwise
  • Every time you passed a magazine with his face on it or saw something about him on the internet it made your heart hurt
  • You wondered how he was doing and if he missed you
  • But your life had to go on
  • You were going to a new musical that just opened up
  • One that, thankfully, Zen wasn’t in
  • You were a little chilly waiting outside for the show to start
  • Out of nowhere a jacket was draped over your shoulders
    • “What the-”
  • You turned around to see Zen
    • “You looked a little cold,” he grinned
    • “What are you doing here?” your heart skipped a beat
    • “I came to watch, I have some friends in the cast. What about you?”
    • “I was meeting someone.” you replied
  • You could see his face fall flat
    • “Oh…date?” he looked sad
    • “No, a friend, actually. But she apparently got sick and has bailed on me last minute.”
  • He perked up a little at that
    • “So…is there anyone you’ve been seeing?”
    • “No,” you laughed, “what about you Mr. Big Time Star?” you poked his chest
  • He grabbed your hand and held it in his own, looking at you directly in your eyes
    • “No. Of course not. You’re the only thing I’ve been thinking of since you left.”
  • He kissed your hand
    • “Well, then. Allow me to escort my lady to the show. I can’t have you sitting by yourself. Who knows who might try and approach you…”
  • You went back to his place afterwards

◉ Saeyoung

  • He started to push you away again
  • You wanted so badly to stay and help him work through his emotions but he just wouldn’t open up to you
  • He was barely sleeping and started to avoid you
  • You felt like you had no other choice
  • You could tell he was hurting when you left
  • But what more could you do?
  • It was eerie not talking to him anymore
  • Not seeing his smiling face around
  • Weeks and months went by with no word
  • You were really worried about him
  • One late night you went on a chip run to the convenience store
  • One bag of Honey Buddha left!
  • As you grabbed for the bag a hand reached over your shoulder to grab at the same time
  • A familiar jacket on the arm
  • You snatched the bag and turned around
  • Your heart was racing
    • “Saeyoung?”
    • “You got my chips,” he huffed
  • It made you laugh to see him pout
    • “You mean my chips? Seeing as I got them first.”
  • He put his hands out to signal he wanted to play you for them
  • It was your usual way of settling qualms
  • It was like you had never broken up at all
  • Like the months had just been a bad dream and here you were fighting over chips
    • “Alright then,” you nodded
    • “ROCK-PAPER-SCISSORS” you said in unison
  • Saeyoung slapped his head when you won
    • “Have fun with your Lays!” you snickered from the cash register
  • He followed you out of the store and into the dark
  • He was just
  • Following you
  • You felt a tug at your arm
    • “How about round two?” he was looming over you seriously
    • “Of rock-paper-scissors?” you clutched the chip bag
    • “No. Of us.”
  • He pressed his lips into yours
  • You dropped the bag of chips

◉ V

  • You found a photo of Rika in the closet inside an old box
  • You admit now that you may have gone overboard
  • It started with a small argument
  • And eventually you left
  • You knew he cared for you
  • But you needed time to sort out your feelings
  • You were grabbing some coffee from a cafe you enjoyed
    • “Double-shot mocha!” the barista called out
  • However another person grabbed for the cup at the same time and ended up with your hand
    • “Oh, I’m so sorry! I guess we ordered the same drink,” V smiled
    • “V?” you said rather too excitedly
  • He couldn’t see but recognized your voice
    • “What are the odds?” he chuckled in that melodic way of his
    • “I didn’t know you still came here?”
    • “I can’t stop after you showed me this place. It…reminds me of you,” he smiled
  • You were glad he couldn’t see how much you blushed
  • Seeing him now made you understand how much you missed him and how stupid this whole mess was
    • “V…I-I’ve been meaning to-”
    • “Are you hungry?” he cut you off
    • “Um..yeah. Yes! I am.” you smiled
    • “It’s not much but I can manage my way around the fridge enough to make a sandwich. Shall we take our coffees back to the apartment?”
  • You almost skipped
    • “That sounds lovely, actually.”
  • He reached out to feel your arm, snaking his hand down until he found your own and grabbed it

◉ Saeran

  • Saeran was hard for you to read
  • Sometimes he was so distant that you didn’t even know if he liked you
  • You knew he had trouble sorting out his emotions…
  • But the pain on your heart at giving affection to someone you were beginning to wonder hated your guts, was pretty taxing
    • “If that’s what you want…”
  • It was his cold response to your mention of a break
  • You thought you saw the slightest hint of sadness in his eyes
  • But he didn’t say anything else
  • Just looked away and shrugged it off
  • You tried to continue life as usual
  • And at night you fidgeted with the necklace he gave you
  • It was one of the only keepsake you had from him and although it had been months, you never took it off
  • You wondered if he even gave you a second thought
  • That hurt the most
  • You waved goodbye to your friends after a late movie
  • It was a nice night and you just enjoyed walking alone
  • Three people approached you as you attempted to pass them on your way home
    • “Hey, pretty lady…you’ll be coming with us now.”
  • You clutched your purse, trying to decide whether you could outrun the,
    • “Touch her, and you little shits are dead”
  • You turned around to see Saeran
  • One look from him had them running
  • You stood there in shock staring at him
    • “What kind of idiot walks alone in the dark like this,” he scolded you as he walked up
    • “W-Well…I-”
    • “You’re lucky I was watching you.”
    • “You were…watching me?” you said, puzzled
  • He stood over you now
    • “I’m always watching you,” he admitted, “and I’ll always be there to protect you.”
  • You couldn’t help but cry a little bit
  • “He did care…”
    • “Hey-hey, cut that out.”
  • He wiped your cheeks
  • Kissing your forehead before pulling you into an embrace
In Another Life - Good Job, Baby

prompt: 

summary: a chaptered fic made up of a series of smutty oneshots taking place in the pastel!dan and punk!phil alternate universe

genre: smut, and possibly other things along the way (who knows)

warnings: in this particular oneshot - swearing, virginity, overstimulation, innocent!dan, handjob, blowjob, anal, dirty talk, size kink, lowkey praise kink uwu (wow kyra you just keep on going don’t you)

word count: 3087 (dammit)

a/n: okay yes! this is my fourth fic in a row, so i think i’m doing amazing with the ‘a fic a day’ thing. just to clarify, the following chapters to this fic will not be related to each other in anyway. the only thing they will have in common is pastel!dan and punk!phil, okay? okay. also, there are different prompts requested for each oneshot so ofc, it will all be different for each chapter, clear? alright now that that’s settled, everything phil did to dan was consensual and i had a lot of fun writing this. i would also like to thank holly for being there for me and beta’ing this fic. she is absolutely amazing :) i hope you guys liked this <33

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All the talk about Tumblr and their made up sexualities and how these people don’t exist in the real world, but like… What world?

I have been casual friends with a girl, I gave the stay kitten I found (Nox, who is a right asshole apparently, bless him ❤) and we talk and meet up every so often and the other day during conversation she told me she’s demisexual and her partner is on the ace spectrum.

Before Tumblr I would have had to ask what the hell that meant and I also would have assumed something was wrong with them. I know that because the first time someone told me they were ace my internal monologue was about “what happened to make them that way?”

Even though myself am not overly sexual the idea that having sexual urges is normal is very ingrained to me and I’m grateful to everyone who has educated me if only so that I didn’t make an ass of myself and make this girl feel bad or have to try and explain to me.

If Tumblr was an echo chamber I wouldn’t have learned so much of the shit I have, thanks awesome nerds ❤