something fishy going on

there is absolutely something fucking fishy going on here

if the recount wasn’t going to go anywhere then WHY THE HELL would there be a need to fight it?

Percy Jackson puns
  • Percy: boy, there's something fishy going on here
  • Annabeth: it would be wiser to come up with a solutiom
  • Nico: see what these guys are saying! Stop it!!
  • Jason: wow... what a shocking development
  • Leo: yeah, things are heating up
  • Nico: zhang, please make them stop!!
  • Frank: guys,you heard Nico. I guess I will have to be quite... Frank... with you
  • PIPER: well I think that's quite...
  • Nico: don't you dare
  • Piper: ... charming
  • Hazel: these puns are pure gold

Okay but imagine if the LiTs team have to go investigate something fishy at an art exhibition for an up and coming artist who Jake is absolutely a huge fan off. Like he raves about his artwork and pieces and everything.

And the others are amused especially Ezekiel who keeps teasing Jake about it.

And when they get to the place Ezekiel pretty much straight up walks to the artist and starts bugging him while Jake and the others are mortified. Except the artist doesn’t mind. Goes, “he’s always been like this, I’d be bothered if he didn’t try to insult me lovingly.”

Eve: Wait you two know each other.

Ezekiel: Yeah he’s my former fiance.

Jake suddenly clams up and becomes irrationally cool toward said artist much too everyone’s confusion because he’s jealous.

I Am Here For You Tate Langdon x Reader

Words: 1, 572

Request: “ Can I get a Tate, Jimmy or James imagine? Something that would make a broken heart feel better?” -Anon

Description: You break up with your long term boyfriend and Tate helps you through the tough time.

Author’s Note: I apologixe this is so SHORT! I am so sorry!!! I hope you guys like this. XOXO

2017

It was a sunny day in Los Angles, California, I was just about to go on a date with my boyfriend, Gardner. I had met him when I first came to California. I was walking around the office I worked at and had bumped into him spilling my paperwork every where! He helped cleaned it up and ever since that day in 2013 we have been dating. I loved Gardner but I could sense something fishy going on. For instance, when we would have our annual movie night he wouldn’t stop texting someone on his phone. I would always ask and he always responded, “Oh, it’s just my mom,” or “Don’t worry about it.” It made me upset because he wasn’t being honest. I knew that. The way his eyes would light up when the person texted, when he would laugh forever on something that the person sent him. It was happening everytime. He wouldn’t even want to hold hands at all or embrace. I was feeling sad because he didn’t like me. 

        So as of now I am arriving at the resturant, “Nourriture Par Le Rivage.” I walk in and i want to run away and crawl up in a ball. I look over to look at where Gardner is and I see him kissing another girl. I run away but it’s too late because Gardner stops and his smile turns into a frown. He rushes to get up but I’m already running away.

“(Y/N), WAIT!” Gardner shouts. He was always a faster runner and he catches up with me and yanks on my arm, holding my wrist. 

“Let go of me jerk!” I say forcefully.

“I can explain, (Y/N), I can.” He says.

“No you can’t. I was waiting this day to happen. I prayed that you weren’t, but I knew. I knew it all along. The texts. The laughs. The weird attitude, I mean what else? I didn’t want this to happen. I wanted to believe that it was just your mom.” I said with tears streaming down my face. He raises his hand to dry my tears but I slap it away.

“(Y/N)…”

“No. I just want clarification Gardner. How long? How long has the lying been going on? How long ago did you stop loving me?” I asked looking away.

“Its been going on for a year. The lying began two years ago. I never stopped loving you.” He said. I turned my head and looked straight into his eyes.

“That is such crap! You have stopped loving me for a LONG time Gardner. I am done with this relationship. I need to go back home. I knew it was bad to live on my own at the age of 18. I hate you. I never want to see you again. Do not come to my parents house. Do not come after me. I am done with you.” I said and I ran away and hauled a cab. 

It was a good forty minutes before I arrived home at the infamous Murder House. I missed my family. I needed to come home. I pay the tax driver his money and got out of the door. I looked around and saw that my parents weren’t home and that’s when I realized they went on their wedding anniversary trip. I ran up to the door and got the key under the mat.

“Somethings never change.” I thought. I unlocked the door and walked in, I quickly entered the security code and walked to the kitchen to get some food. I open the fridge and take out some ice cream and sit at the table, sulking. I all of a sudden feel a presence next to me and I see Tate, my best friend.

Originally posted by violate4always

 He has a smile on his face but it slowly fades when he sees my mascara running because I was crying. He rushes over and sits on the bar stool next to mine. I look at him and he puts his cold hand on my cheek and brushes my tears away with his hand.

“What happened (Y/N)?” He asks.

“Oh, Tate. Something terrible.” I say as my body shakes because of my harsh crying. Tate opens his arms so that I could cuddle next to him. I accepted it and caressed my hair and kissed my head.

“Let me guess, Gardner broke up with you.” He said.

I just shake my head yes because I knew if I spoke then it would sound hoarse. Tate pulled away from me and put his hands on either side if my face adn made me look into his eyes. 

“(Y/N), you are so much better without him. He is a big jerk for breaking up with you, I just want you to know that I am herer for you.” I looked in his eyes and leaned in to kiss him. My lips met his cold ones. It started to get heated and Tate broke apart. “(Y/N), I have something I want to say to you.”

“Yes Tate? What is it?” I asked.

“I love you. I always have. Ever since you walked through that door I had feelings for you. I stayed away because you had Gardner and seemed happy. I love you so much.” Tate says.

Originally posted by mileyshoney

“I love you too Tate.” I said. We start to kiss again adn I break it apart. “I think I am going to go to bed. I’m really tired.” I said as Tate pushed back a strand of loose hair.

“Okay. Do you want me to come with you?” I just shake my head yes. We walk upstairs to my room that looked like I had always lived here. I layed down and got under the covers. Tate got in on the other side and cuddle me with his arm over my waist and keeping me close.

“Good night (Y/N), I love you.”

“I love you too Tate. Good night.” I turned around and pecked his lips. I finally went to sleep knowing that somebody loved me.

Eight Months Later

 It has been eight months since Tate and I started dating. These months have been the happiest times in my whole entire life. Tate and I were in the TV room watching a movie and eating popcorn, as our date night since my parents left for the weekend. We were cuddled on the couch with a blanket over us as we sat with our legs tangled together, We kept throwing popcorn at eachother and shared some kisses here and there. All of a sudden I hear the doorbell ring.

“That must be the pizza guy!” I said excitedly as Tate laughed. I got up and took the money that I had on the counter for the pizza. I opened the door and to my suprise I saw Gardner. I automatically got scared not knowing what he was going to do. 

“What are you doing here Gardner?” I ask defensively.

“I came here to apologize for me acting like that. I was a jerk. I never should of done that. I love you. I miss you.” He said while fake crying.

“Well sorry buddy, you are too late I already have a boyfriend and he treats me better than what you have. The funny thing is, is that he makes me more happy in eight months than you ever did in two years!” I knew that was crossing a line but it was true. 

“Babe what is taking you so long?” Tate asks but then stops when he sees who is outside. “What do you think you’re doing here?” Tate asks while he puts his hand around my shoulders pulling me close. 

“So this is the guy huh?” Gardner asks and I shake my head yes. Gardner gets mad and grabs Tate by his shirt collar and throws him on the ground.

“HEY!” I say. “LET HIM GO JERK!” I say getting inbetween Gardners hits towards Tate. I did not see what happens next. Gardner starts hitting me.

“GET OFF OF MY GIRLFRIEND!” Tate yells and picks Gardner up and throws him outside. “STAY OUT! The next time you lay a finger on her, I will call the police.” Gardner runs as Tate shuts the door and locks it and all the other doors and windows. He runs over to me. “Are you okay? What can I do?”

“Tate it’s okay just a cut on my eyebrow, you look worse.” I say laughing.

“No Gardner does.” He says and we start laughing. He picks me up and takes me to the bathroom and gets the first aid kit. “Sit here.” I go over and sit on the bathtub edge. “This might sting a little.” I nod my head as in acting as an okay. He puts some alcohol on the cotton ball and puts on my eyebrow and I take a deep breath. He kisses me on the lips as a reassurance that it’s going to be okay. 

He finishes fast by putting a band aid on my eyebrow. 

“Are you okay?” Tate asks looking straight into my eyes.

“Yes, Nurse Langdon.” I say and we both laugh. He pulls me into a hug and I kiss him on the cheek. “I love you.”

“I love you too.”

“I am here for you. Always.” Tate says and I kiss him on the lips.

Draco Malfoy Imagine

Rating: pg
Requested: sort of
Warnings: light swearing
Summary: you and Draco become more distant and you go to his mom because something seems fishy.

Y/n pov

He was being more distant then ever and I was getting quit worried. I don’t know why but I always kind of knew this would happen. That he was to good for me and I knew my time was up to call Draco Malfoy my boyfriend and partner in crime.

But I wasn’t entirely sure because I was just at Malfoy manor this past weekend and his mom was just telling me how in love he was with me. So maybe I was just being paranoid. But I couldn’t have been. Right?

I started getting worried last week. He would never carry on conversations, he left the common room before I woke up and he never sat beside me during meals. To think about it I never saw him during meals.

Even my friends were starting to notice and they were even getting worried for me. I really had no idea what to do except go to Narcissa and ask for her advice.

*that night*

Being a pure blood Slytherin I could get away with quit a lot. Like leaving school grounds during the week (Idk if this was an actual rule but for the sack of the imagine just leave it be) so I used that to my advantage and flashed myself to Malfoy manor.

I knew I wouldn’t see Draco and the manor because he was in his room all day today.

I knocked on the door and a very worried looking Lucius opened the door.

“What a.. surprise y/n. What do I owe this visit for?” He said to me

“I was coming to talk to your wife about Draco. He seems quit distant lately and I was getting worried.” I said looking up at him

“Oh yes, she had mentioned you coming over. Come in. I believe she’s in the kitchen.” He said moving out of the way

I walked in and remembered all the lovely memories of Draco and I as kids and as we grew up. All the memories came flooding back and it was almost to much for me to handle but I had to be strong.

I walked into the kitchen and saw my second mom. She turned around as she heard my boots tap on the kitchen tile floor.

“Y/n! I’ve missed you dearly.” She said as she came over to me and hugging me

“I’ve missed you to.”

“Now about Draco.” She said getting straight to the point

We talked for about two hours of all of my concerns and some of hers. She seemed a little more relaxed but she knows Draco better then I do, obviously.

I left the Malfoy manor feeling like I had more questions then answers. I know what I have to do.

*the next morning*

I woke up a little early to catch Draco before he left. Right as I got down to the common room I saw Draco sitting on the long green coach starring into the fireplace.

I sat at the other end of the coach and sat in silence for a few seconds until I spoke.

“It’s weird to think you can feel so close to someone one day and the next feel like you don’t even know them.”

I looked over at Draco but to my surprise he was already looking at me.

“I know the feeling.” He said back and looking back at the fireplace

“That’s hard to believe.” I said almost immediately after

“Excuse me?” He said looking at me

“You heard me. We’ve been dating for two years and one day you start shutting me out? I knew I wouldn’t always be good enough for you but I thought we would last longer then two damn years Draco! I gave you everything I had and you did to until last week. And I don’t know what to do anymore. I’m sick of wondering where you are at seven a.m and when we’re suppose to be eating.”

“What are you saying?”

“I’m saying that I’m done. I’m done with trying to figure you out when I think you don’t even know who you are. I can’t do this anymore.” I said starting to sob

He stood up and knelt down in front of me. I couldn’t even look at him.

“Come on y/n, we’ll work this out. We always do.”

“No Draco, I’m… I’m do-done.” I was crying now

“Do you want to why I’ve been so distant?” He said

I just sat in silence kind of expecting that he would I would want to know.

“It’s because I need to keep you safe.”

“Safe from what?” I said really confused

I was really confused because I always felt safe with Draco. He was the reason why I wasn’t bullied.

“Safe from this.” He said as he pulled his sleeve up.

I looked on his arm and saw it. I looked into those grey eyes of his and couldn’t believe it.

I stood up instantly and gave him the biggest hug ever.

His arms instantly wrapped around my waist and my arms wrapped around his neck. My head fit almost perfectly into his neck. I could feel his strong arms tense around me as if he was truly trying to protect from something.

“I had to do. I had to distant myself from you or he would kill you. I’m sorry.” He said sobbing

“Don’t be. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have been to judge to quickly.”

***’

The rest of the day, let’s just we spent the rest of the day cuddling in the common room while watching the first crackle and ignite in patterns that were to never repeat again.

So I am not a “real” fan...

because I still think there is something fishy going on. 

because I am supposed to just sit back and believe the Samzie ship

because Tony and Cait are supposedly married and I don’t believe it

because because because

LIVE AND LET FAN FOLKS. 

If you want off the ship then by all means no one has anyone strapped to the lifeboats. 

Everyone has doubts. That’s cool. I get it. 

Sam may very well be the happiest he’s ever been with Ms. Mauzy. I don’t give a rats ass. I still think it’s fishy. Maybe someday it will all make sense… but for me, for NOW, it doesn’t and if I think she and Tony are helping Sam and Cait with something that is up to ME. 

If you don’t agree then fine and dandy… I don’t have to convince you of anything. But my questioning, my disbelief does NOT make me “not a TRUE fan” 

I have never and will never speak ill of Ms. Mauzy on her IG or her Twitter or anywhere. I’m sure she is lovely and is obviously a friend of Sam’s at the least. But I DO NOT have to buy the Samzie ship to be a “real” Sam fan. 

Sorry. 

absolutely-flabbergasted  asked:

we haven't seen anyone from Thunderclan yet so, Tallcloud or Burningwing?

To start off i gotta say Burningwing is my very first wc oc i made over 10 years ago. My girl. My essential Thunderclan prophecy cat.

Burningwing’s parents are Darkrain and Foxfeather. Born in Thunderclan, she had a brother, but PLOT TWIST as kits they WANDERED OUT OF CAMP like bad little kits and got lost. They ended up getting found by a rogue gang and her brother was killed. Burningwing escaped and was found by a patrol and since that incident she became set on exacting justice/revenge on the rogues that killed her brother. She’s working on it. There’s just a lot going on in her life right now but she’s gonna get to it soon ok. Like right now something fishy is going on in her clan, cats have disappeared and she’s going to get to the bottom of it, but right after that some justice is gonna be served to those rogues.

Burningwing has a lot to say about anything you’re doing and a lot of questions to ask before she’ll agree to follow along with anything. And about that decision that you thought was a good decision? It was a terrible decision and you should have consulted Burningwing first because she would have set you right before you made that decision she didn’t approve of. Despite being very assertive and argumentative, at her roots Burningwing cares a lot about others and just wants the best for them. She is very spunky and pugnacious. Very set on JUSTICE and following her own moral code at all costs, and is perpetually ready to fight anybody and everybody for it. Prone to giving inspirational speeches. Cannot stay in her lane. She is a Protagonist ™ 

Tallcloud is an elder in Thunderclan. She was born as a kittypet, but joined Thunderclan as a young cat. She had a mate, who is long past, and has one surviving daughter, Ashnose. She is very prim and proper, a refined old lady type. She can be a bit cold, but she helps the queens with their kits and babysits them often.

DO YOU GUYS HAVE ANY IDEA HOW LONG THIS WAS MY HEADCANON??

I had ‘bad girl’ Charlotte Pudding sketches stored in my hard drive for so long  I was about to give up on finishing them until the latest OP chapter.  I mean she was just so SUSPICIOUS when she made such nice convenient promises to the strawhats that she never seem to keep??? Drawing out a ‘safe’ map for Luffy and the gang? Puh-lease, when things are that easy in enemy territory, there’s something fishy going on. 

Thanks Oda. You almost got me. But now things are finally getting interesting again. 

  • Percy: Boy, there sure is something...fishy...going on, isn't there?
  • Annabeth: Indeed, it'd probably be...wise...to avoid any trouble.
  • Nico: No, stop this right now.
  • Jason: My, what a... shocking... development
  • Leo: Oh, things sure are...heating...up alright.
  • Nico: Zhang, make them stop, please.
  • Frank: Alright guys, you heard Nico, just let me be... Frank... with you.
  • Nico: You're all idiots,
  • Piper: I don't know, i find them quite..
  • Nico: Don't you dare!
  • Piper: ...Charming.
  • Hazel: I'll say. These puns are pure... gold.
  • Nico: You're all dead to me.

anonymous asked:

as a cresswell shipper, how do you feel about the age gap between the two?

I don’t have a problem with it at all.

Sure, I’ll admit, I’d think something fishy was going on if I saw a 20 year old dating a 16 year old in the real world, but I don’t have a problem with a four year age gap. I wouldn’t bat an eyelash if Thorne was 22 and Cress was 18. It probably wouldn’t even bother me if Thorne was 21 and Cress was 17. So in a couple of years, who cares?

All the reasons why I would have concerns about a 20 year old dating a 16 year old have been proven by Thorne, time and time again, to be a non-issue. From the time that Thorne stepped onto the satellite, he did nothing but respect Cress, looked out for her, and put her safety before his own. We’ve seen that there were plenty of times where Thorne could have taken advantage of Cress’s naivety and her misconceptions of him, but he doesn’t. Never. The man who we were first introduced to, sitting in a jail cell because all he ever did was take from others never took anything from Cress.

I actually think that their age difference was important to their arc. it was important that Thorne saw Cress as someone innocent and pure, young and naive. Someone he wouldn’t view as a romantic option. Sure, there were other factors that hinder’s Thorne’s Flirt Mode™ activation like being blind, barely escaping death, and being lost in the Sahara, but this is Thorne we’re talking about and he would flirt with a rock in a wig. 

It’s not an issue for me because Thorne and Cress don’t make it an issue. They love each other, they respect one another, they are their best when they’re around the other and that’s all I can ask for in my OTP.

anonymous asked:

Hi Jill, I just threw at least 50 votes your way and saw your main competition positive percentages moving up and yours remaining constant despite my efforts. Don't know what's going on there. Something seems fishy to me. Good luck.

Thank you for your continued efforts.  We are now in second.  I don’t know when this contest is over, and I know most folks stopped caring.  But damn, I gotta try.  it’s hard, seeing my name up there and losing after being #1 for well over a month.  We held the #1 spot longer than anyone.  We aren’t so far gone that we can’t get it back.  Still…  

The struggle is so very real.

And yes, it’s hella fishy. Still in the meantime, please throw some upvotes are way here.

Thanks Anon for continuing to rock it out :)

Random Thoughts on Grey’s 13x13

So I finally watched the episode…

Here are some of my thoughts:

Meredith’s afraid Kepner’s gonna kill all her patients. Really? Is that something a “friend” says. I don’t generally think my friends that are in my same profession are incompetent.

Originally posted by n-wordbelike

Oh, April, abort, abort. Your authority has been compromised. Don’t say please. Don’t beg.

Originally posted by trechos-of-books

Maggie is sending me to fits of rage in this episode.

Originally posted by grungeaffliction

Jackson looking at Warren like

Originally posted by gameraboy

“I have enough problems being your first lady.” - Warren

Originally posted by morewhovianthanhuman

I wish they’d stop making April look incompetent. If she was such a bad surgeon she should have stayed gone, but she isn’t so enough already.

Originally posted by empirefoxtv


Owen, I like you. Especially as a supportive friend.

Originally posted by lotsoftrees

I might greatly dislike Maggie after this episode but Arizona’s the true disappointment here. If my best friend did something fishy, I’d at least ask her what’s going on before making a judgment.

Originally posted by mogifire

Warren to Bailey and Webber after finishing his 1st primary surgery.


Sigh, April, being nicer doesn’t matter when you’re a doctor. Silly point.

Originally posted by yourreactiongifs

April vs. Maggie - “Wilson has hands.” Loved it!

Originally posted by suburbanrhythm

Kid surgery scene + eating food do not mix

Originally posted by yourreactiongifs

I don’t feel that bad for Minnick. Yeah, it was a kid but people have died before. She should be more professional.

Originally posted by ba1n3s

Awww, Stephanie goes to Webber for advice.

Originally posted by expecto-patronuuum


Richard’s judgy face at Minnick was everything I never knew I needed.

Mmmkay, Arizona can be totally cool with Minnick but not April? Really?????

Originally posted by yourreactiongifs

Grey’s Writers: There’s too many people being mean to April. Let’s give her a friend.

Writers to Writers: Let’s make it Catherine Avery.

Originally posted by armitie

April said some weird things this episode but then again she’s always been an awkward turtle.

Originally posted by rienquedesbetises

The Reason Journal 3 Doesn’t Fit With the Gravity Falls Timeline Could be Because Bill Cipher Tampered With Ford’s Memories

Something incredibly fishy is going on within the Journal itself regarding the timeline, to the point where many can consider it non-canonical, and justifiably so.

From the show, we know that:

  • Ford fell through the portal in 1982
  • Fiddleford worked with Ford for a year before building the memory gun
  • Bill had contacted Ford at some point prior to the creation of Journal 3, as evidenced by the Creature #326 entry in Journal 2.

However, if we take Journal 3′s timeline at face value, we ‘know’ that:

  • Ford met Bill “in 1981,″ “two years before beginning Journal 3,″ which would make the year he fell through the portal 1984
  • Fiddleford worked with Ford “for a few weeks, maybe a month,” before building the memory gun

Now, y’all know I’m not one to take Hirsch at his word regarding what’s canon and what’s not, but he has said that the events of the show are canon. He’s also said that the Journal 3 is the same one Dipper has from the show. To my knowledge, he has never said that the Journal was canon to the events of the show. He’s also said that there are things about the Journal that are yet to be discovered.

Furthermore, I feel it prudent to remind you, dear reader, that the blacklight edition of Journal 3 is not going to be just some fun facts about the anomalies in Gravity Falls. I don’t know about you, but if I am paying $100.00+ for a book I already bought for $20.00, it better have some fucking new story elements we didn’t know about before.

“But Leo,” you ask “Hirsch didn’t know if he was going to get the blacklight edition published!” 

Alex Hirsch is a great many things, but “the type of writer to hastily rewrite his story to deviate from the original timeline just because the fat mouse corporation might not have allowed him to publish the whole thing” is not one of them.

If it’s a given that Ford fell through the portal in 1982, that Fiddleford worked with Ford for a year before building the memory gun, why does Journal 3 seemingly ignore these givens?

Stanford Pines is an unreliable narrator and Journal 3 takes place over the course of two or more years, not one as previously thought. How do I know?

The dates.

On the opening page of Journal 3, Stanford writes the date June 18 on the top of the page. He leaves out the year, but it’s the month we’re meant to pay attention to. The next date we see is August 3, the date Stanford confronted a young Preston Northwest about his family’s many crimes. Everything seems innocuous enough. Except one thing.

What happened to the month of July? One could argue that nothing interesting happened to Ford during July. However, the missing month is found several pages later, when Ford invites Fiddleford up to Gravity Falls.

There, at the top of the page, is the date: July 18.  

If we assume that Ford would not skip pages and that he wrote the Journal entries in chronological order, we must ask ourselves one of two things:

If Ford confronts the Norhtwests before he invites Fiddleford to Gravity Falls, then the events from August 19XX to July of the following year are completely absent from Journal 3. Assuming that this glorified diary is actually a scientific document meant for research, what happened during these eleven months, and why did Ford not record them?

If Ford confronts the Northwests before he invites Fiddleford to Gravity Falls, and the months are merely incorrect, what is the cause of this discrepancy?

Furthermore, when, exactly, did Stanford Pines meet Bill?

From page 11, Ford’s first mention of Bill in Journal 3, though not by name:

“Although I have relied on my intuition and intelligence to provide me with answers, two years ago I experienced a miracle while napping in the forest, and that has forever changed the way I think about the world and my place in it.”

On the surface this would line up with the timeline given in the show, since what text can be deciphered from Ford’s entry on Bill in Journal 2 appear as:

“This odd, triangular being has appeared in my dreams every night for weeks”

Meaning that Ford was in contact with Bill for some amount of time before officially making a deal with him, or at least before writing Journal 3.

However, on page 26 of Journal 3, Ford writes that he only discovered Bill in 1981. He doesn’t write anything for 1982 or any year after 1981, and he’s not talking about any deal he may or may not have made at that point, so we can either:

  • Assume that it is 1981 when Ford makes that timeline, making the timeline false but the Bill entry true. 
  • Assume that it is 1983, a full two years after 1981, which would make the Bill entry true, the timeline as presented in the Journal true, but would severely impact the show’s actual timeline. 
  • Assume that the Bill entry is false and that the timeline is true, making the year the timeline was written 1981. 
  • Assume that the veracity of the Bill entry is either dubious or true, that the timeline is false, and that the year is actually 1980, giving Fiddleford the year he needs to work with Ford before inventing the memory gun.

Like I know Hirsch isn’t the best with timelines but these discrepancies happen over the course of maybe thirty pages. Four people worked on this book.

So, we’re going to go with the show’s givens from here, and work our way to a conclusion:

  • Ford fell through the portal in 1982
  • Fiddleford worked with Ford for a year before building the memory gun
  • Bill had contacted Ford at some point prior to the creation of Journal 3, as evidenced by the Creature #326 entry in Journal 2.

Based on these facts, we can throw out the theory that the Journal is actually being written in 1983. We know that’s not the case, and if the Journal were to make the assertion that the year was 1983, the Journal in its entirety would have to be considered non-canonical. That’s not to say that it’s not a valid theory, it’s just that this post is going to be long enough as it is without me talking about all the ways the Journal could render itself non-canonical. So I’m skipping over it.

So, let us first examine the veracity of Ford’s entry on Bill: did Ford really first encounter Bill two years prior to the creation of Journal 3? 

Based on Ford’s entry in Journal 2 we can assume that yes, Ford did encounter Bill before writing Journal 3. Given that Ford fell through the portal in 1982, and that Fiddleford worked with Ford for a year before making the memory gun, we must, therefore, assume that the timeline (as it appears in Journal 3) is false, and that Ford did not  ‘Discover his Muse’ in 1981.

So then, why does Ford write as much? Has 1981 even happened at the time he wrote that particular entry? And what of the missing eleven months that Ford never wrote about?

Since these discrepancies appear before Fiddleford is even in Gravity Falls, much less working on the memory gun, one can only assume that Bill Cipher is the culprit.

Here’s why the “But it’s canon” argument doesn’t work

It only appeases people who don’t give a shit about logic and storyline.

Take for example Legend of Korra.

In that story, there were two equally developed pairings, Makorra (a pairing that was planned from the start) and Korrasami (a pairing that developed naturally due to how the characters leaned towards each other in the course of their friendship). Everyone who isn’t completely BLIND to same-sex attraction could see there was something fishy going on between Korra and Asami since Book I, in the same way they could see that Korra and Mako were attracted to each other (more on Korra’s side than Mako’s btw). Despite the fact that there were no obvious sexually directed actions between Korra and Asami, the sexual tension was there, the emotional connection was properly developed, and so the ending wasn’t unbelievable - yes, it was unexpected because of forces OUTSIDE the story, but it wasn’t just hurriedly inserted out of nowhere. 

That resulted in even people that rooted for Makorra understanding and accepting that their pairing “lost the race” but is as worthy a pairing as the canonized one, since the story would NOT essentially change in order for one pairing or the other to work.

Now, in Naruto, things are completely different.

This story also had two logical pairing possibilities, one artificially built (Narusaku) and another that sprouted naturally from the storyline itself (Sasunarusasu), just like LoK (and please notice I am NOT including any pairing for Sasuke except Sasunaru, I am doing that due to the way the character was constructed by the author).

Neither of those pairings, had they happened, would’ve required a fundamental change in the storyline or for plot holes to remain unresolved.

If Naruto had ended up with Sakura, they would’ve BOTH still be friends with Sasuke and the premise that was set in the 4th Ninja War, that only with Naruto and Sasuke working TOGETHER the root of the conflicts between ninja would be resolved, would still stand.

The same premise would stand had Sasuke and Naruto become a couple, and in addition Sasuke’s REQUITED feelings for Naruto would’ve been seamlessly incorporated into the storyline.

Now let’s see what happened to the premise set by the storyline in the way the manga ended:

  • Sasuke had to be sent away from Naruto to make Naruto available for a romantic relationship with someone who had no previous presence in Sasuke’s life.
  • Sakura had to coerce Naruto into feeling he was obligated to return the feelings of the person interested in having a romantic relationship with him.
  • Naruto had to be enthralled by a magic spell in order to consent to entering a romantic relationship with that person.
  • Naruto’s bond with Sasuke had to die in order for that relationship to survive.
  • Kakashi had to intervene into Sasuke’s personal life in order to attempt to coerce him into feeling he was obligated to return the feelings of the person interested in having a romantic relationship with him.
  • Sasuke had to be isolated from EVERY OTHER PERSON WHO WAS EVER INVOLVED IN HIS LIFE in order to become available for a romantic relationship with anyone who wasn’t Naruto (that would’ve been true for Sasukarin, too, because Naruto was Sasuke’s single object of affection apart from Itachi for the entirety of Part II) and remain isolated for the rest of his life in order for that relationship to survive.

Because of these CANON OCCURRENCES, the premise that was set in the 4th Ninja War, that only with Naruto and Sasuke working TOGETHER the root of the conflicts between ninja would be resolved, was dismissed.

Now, the entire POINT of a story’s plot is SOLVING PROBLEMS.

A fictional story is like a mathematical theorem: a set of problems constituted of one main issue and a variable number of derivate issues is presented during the story but not always in order of importance (and when the main issue is presented after the derivative issues that event is called a plot twist), those derivate issues are developed in arcs and the main issue is resolved at the end, tying everything together.

Now, in Naruto, for the simple-minded person with only a kindergarten level intellectual capacity, the main issue was Naruto becoming Hokage, and as he did become Hokage in the end, the story finished in a satisfactory way.

HOWEVER, the story was developed by Kishimoto and his editors to present a hidden bigger issue that overtook Naruto’s plight to Hokagedom and in fact became fundamentally the main issue of the plot, without which Naruto’s simple ascension to power would become irrelevant: the fact that there was a legendary feud involving Naruto and Sasuke as two parts of a whole that were separated and manipulated against one another through several “reincarnations” (quote marks because it only pertained to their chakra patterns, not their souls, as became evident with the entrapment of Madara and Hashirama’s souls into their Edo-Tensei bodies), a feud that had directly caused ALL the derivative issues in the Naruto world, including Naruto becoming a jinchuuriki and, because of that, not only developing the desire to become Hokage but having to work against higher odds to achieve that objective.

And not only was that fundamental plot twist presented, the ONLY solution for it was presented as well: for Naruto and Sasuke to settle their differences, accept each other and their bond, and cultivate that bond for the rest of their lives by working together towards changing the world order, thus breaking the cycle of conflict in their world

Any person with more than elementary-level reading skills was able to understand the plot twist as such, especially since it was presented didactically by the Sage of 6 Paths

And of course those same persons would notice that the ending of the manga left the main issue of the plot unresolved, due to the forced separation and break of bond between Naruto and Sasuke - a break foretold in chapter 700 and The Last and confirmed in Sakura Hiden - that was absolutely necessary in order to make the canon pairings happen.

In leaving the main issue of the plot unresolved, the ending made the entire story lose its sense and purpose. Naruto became empty and unfulfilled because the ending had NO CONNECTION to the storyline, was POORLY WRITTEN and DESTROYED the premise under which the ONLY solution to the main issue of the plot was built upon.

So you see, to any person capable of rational thinking and reading comprehension above kindergarten level, the canonization of whatever other pairings does not matter, because in order to be canonized they destroyed the premise and, with it, the entire story. All 15 years of work spent on it by the author and his editors were tossed out like so much garbage.

And that is why they are paying for it with the defection of over 70% of the paying audience and its marked rejection of the new era project.

Because people can perfectly enjoy shit for free, but they won’t spend their money on it.

And now you know why the anti-naruto community laughs at your sorry faces every time you say the word canon.