someone's-a-fan

anonymous asked:

Can I just say I feel like the only one disappointed with Cheritz's announcement? I'm not too into V, and I respect everyone that does, but it just doesn't seem fair. Saeran deserves a route as much as V, but he doesn't seem to get any attention for it. I don't know, maybe not everyone gets their happy endings. I just feel like as the fandom grows older the chances for his own route decrease. Maybe someone will make a fan-route just for him.

No trust me, there are others who are disappointed with Cheritz’s announcement. Just think of it this way, let’s say the love our of loves Saeran got the route instead of V. That means the die hard V lovers would be disappointed. There was no way for everyone to be happy.  I’m glad that you are respecting other peoples choices because I’m hearing that people are bashing Cheritz and that’s not right. 

You know I am in love with Saeran Choi. I really am and while it hurts that he doesn’t have a route, we just have to hold on to the shred of hope that Cheritz will deliever him for us. Perhaps his route will come next year… or it will never come to be quite frank. It does hurt but we just need to support the company and let them know nicely that we want Saeran. That for us, Saeran is our true ending, just like how V is for many others. 

It probably took Cheritz ages to write a route, do phones calls, and bad endings for his route. So perhaps next year for their second anniversary, we will get our Saeran. Now, I know the fandom “dies” after a while and perhaps Cheritz will bring it back alive with the announcement of his route to bring it back “alive” like they did with V. 

What I notice with other OTOME games. the last route has the most angst. Perhaps we are in for a fucking rollercoaster for Saeran and I know we will all be ready. 

Regarding the fan-route, I’m actually thinking of dropping my writing and create a fan route for him. I’m not promising anything, but I am actually thinking about. Like for some of the chapters I will include a poll where you guys decide how the scenario plays out. 

For example,

“Ha, you think you can actually save me? What do you think this is? A fucking fairy tale that mommy and daddy read to you when you were younger?” Saeran hissed as his fingernails digged into your cheeks. 

You refused to back down because you knew you were breaking down his walls. 

“No, I’m not some kind of idiot. I know you are fucked up and hurting. I want to be there for you. Trust me, I’m not going to hurt you…Saeran” you whispered out his name gently afraid of his reaction. 

Saeran’s eyes shot wide open and he backed away slowly. 

“How do you know my name?” his lips trembled while looking into your eyes.

* End of Chapter * 

Then a poll will be posted for two days, and you guys get to vote on what direction the story will take place.

1) Tell him the truth 

2) Say you overhead V and Rika talking 

3) Pretend you didn’t say his name 

So what do you guys think?

anonymous asked:

Sorry to bother, but I was wondering what it means to Stan? Like I saw something you reposted and it said a Keith Stan? I was just wondering what that meant

It’s basically someone who is an avid fan of the character and strongly favors them over the rest. It’s like having a favorite character but more lmao

anonymous asked:

"crazy detention stories"...go

They’re really not that crazy I don’t think but fine- but as I had detention at least once a week for 3 years you’re only getting the highlights here:

  • So again, I only ever got detentions because I was late to school basically every day. Every single day, the office wrote me a late slip with my name spelled horrendously wrong. Different spelling every day. The most famous butchering was writing my name as “Millie Hoagie”. On my very last day of high school, I was predictably late, and they spelled my name perfectly correctly.
  • So listen my ‘reputation’ in school was basically “quiet good girl who’s never done anything wrong, ever, in her life” and “teacher’s pet” and the like. And despite the fact I was there every time all the ‘Bad Kids™’ who were also always in detention were always incredibly surprised to see me??? Like they never got over it. Every time I walked into the damn room at least half the class would be like “MOLLY YOU DON’T BELONG HERE YOU’RE INNOCENT!!” 😂
  • Also despite the fact I was basically invisible in the school as a whole all the trouble makers knew me by name because, and I quote a kid from my 10th grade Spanish class who was trying to hook up with me at the time here, “Guys like me are afraid of you, Girl, we’re just plain out scared that we gonna corrupt you!” and I still don’t know what he actually meant by that???
  • Bu anyway, this apparent rep usually gave me an upper hand with the teachers monitoring the detentions. Because, you know, some were fine, some were bitchy, some were insane. But all of them were pissed about the fact they had to be there instead of heading home.
  • The rules of detention were literally just ‘stare at the wall and don’t talk’, depending on which teacher they might let the students do homework. But since I was apparently a great person and always had the class’ incredulous response to me being in the room, they usually let me get away with sleeping or reading a book lol.
  • Of course…no one said any of the other kids were inclined to following the rules lmao. These were like, all the class clowns™ shoved into one room. Things always got real funny real fast.
  • It would always start off with the coughing game. If you’ve ever stepped into a school you should know what that is.
  • It would then escalate to everyone in the room playing catch whenever the teacher looked away for a brief moment
  • Detention was always in the health classroom so someone always tried to steal a limb off the skeleton without being to obvious
  • Some teachers would let people talk ‘quietly’ so jokes were fucking abound
  • One time I was minding my own damn business and a kid slides me a note saying ‘in like five minutes ask to go to the bathroom but head downstairs to the English wing’ before he snuck out without the teacher noticing. I get down there and he’s at one end of the hallway and another boy is at the other end. Upon seeing me, these boys run full speed down the hall at each other, leap up in the air when they get to the direct center, high five with full force, both scream in pain, and then hit the floor, clutching their hands. I was cracking the fuck up and trying to convince them to go to the nurse but they wouldn’t listen. I asked the guy why the hell they did that. He told me ‘because we wanted a witness and no one will ever believe you’ 😂😂
  • One time my sorta-neighbor Mike comes in and the teacher asked why he had detention and apparently, the principal had asked him where to find his friend Jose, and Mike responded “he’s out picking cotton” and the principal flipped out at what he perceived to be a racist joke and gave him a month detention. But the thing was, Jose was in an agriculture class and he was literally outside picking cotton that they had planted there earlier. Jose found it fucking hilarious and refused to tell the principal to get his friend out of trouble.
  • As I haven’t been inside a school building for quite some time now I don’t know if turtling is still a thing but it was…quite an epidemic for my senior class.
  • It’s when you turn someone’s backpack inside out right? But it was a full blown war with these kids. Trust no one. Never leave the room. Never look away. Holy shit. One of the best moments of this occurred in detention, when a boy reached to get a book out of his backpack to find it was gone. After 15 minutes of searching the room, he found it, turtled, hidden in a filing cabinet in the front of the room. Everyone, including the teacher, was loosing their shit, because how did someone pull that off so quietly and invisibly without someone noticing??? No one fessed up. The class was in fear of the turtle ninja for the rest of the month, but they never struck again. No one ever discovered who it was.
  • Guys: It was me.
  • One time it was raining and the teacher was in a bad mood so he insisted all the windows stay open. He left for a bathroom break or something and this one poor kid, who was now completely soaked as he was stuck with a window seat, just said “fucking bye” and just…climbed out the damn window. Left his backpack and everything. Didn’t see him again for at least a month.
  • There was one guy who always sold ice cream out of his bag when the teachers weren’t looking. Where he was getting it from and how it stayed frozen is beyond me.
  • Oh my God sometimes all the indie singer kids would just come and sit on the floor outside the classroom and talk loudly to annoy us??? The hell were they trying to accomplish??? Your singing ain’t special and you won’t be famous, please let us die in peace.
  • One kid had detention because when we were running laps in gym class he jumped up to hit the arch of the ceiling and accidentally set off the fire alarm. The teacher that day insisted on continuously referring to him as ‘the delinquent’, as if no one else in the room had broken the rules or something
  • One time one of the gym teachers was in charge of it and long story short he started doing the jersey turnpike. True horror.
  • One time the teacher got a call and she had to go down to the office and the second she was gone this one kid’s friend runs in with a huge tray going “Y’ALL I STOLE THE LASAGNE CUPCAKES FROM THE FOOD AND NUTRITION CLASSROOM” and we dined like kings.
  • Everyone would sometimes just break out in song for no God damn reason
  • One time one of the guys in charge of the detention was A) Not someone anyone recognized as a teacher and B) Potentially Stanley Tucci. Like…I was about 80% certain that this guy was Stanley Tucci.
  • He refused to confirm or deny or even give a name
  • One time I was really absorbed in my book when all the sudden a letter flew onto my desk, an anonymous sender that just said “You have a soft, sexy voice.” Neither of which is true, I’m pretty sure, and I could not for the life of me figure out who sent it omfg
  • One time a teacher was freaking out because he went to a psychic over the weekend and was told there was a lot of activity around him so I looked him straight in the eyes and told him I’m a medium and I can see that the devil had marked his soul and he threw me out of the room and refused to take that class for detention ever again😂
  • It was a hot summers day. The ceiling fans were on their highest setting. A boy nudges me, with a small carton of ice cream in his hands under his desk. “What do you think would happen if I scooped out a huge chunk of this and threw it at the fan?” he whispered. “Jamil, no.” I pleaded, but it fell on deaf ears. Soon, the room was filled with confused screams.
  • Apparently all the other regulars™ had bought me candy grams around Christmas time so they were confused when I showed up to detention with no candy and apparently the student council member sent them all to the other Molly in the grade because she was the popular one and this lead to about 12 boys grumbling for two and a half hours like “The one damn time I attempt to be a gentleman” and “I know where she lives” and “Gonna gingerbread her fucking locker” I could not stop laughing
  • Oh God okay one time the teacher we had was literally. Off the charts.
  • Like there’s the chill teachers, and then the bitchy teachers. And then this lady. She literally reminded me of Stubel
  • So I didn’t even know who she was but I walk in and do my shy smile/quiet ‘hello’ thing and take out my book so she immediately zeros in on me as ‘the good kid’ as usual
  • But she literally seemed to think every other person in this class was a hardened criminal holy shit. She was all over the place barking orders and yelling. And of course, you’ve got a room full of class clowns, like they feed off teachers like this. So the madder she got the more ridiculous they got. I was literally almost in tears trying to force myself not to laugh because I didn’t want to risk her turning on me omfg
  • So she yelled and flailed about the room and they kept going with jokes and paper wasps and lying about their names and just doing literally every thing they could possibly do so this woman wouldn’t have the chance to rest
  • This escalated with every minute and came to a resounding end when the teacher decided the Australian Kid™ was chewing gum and picked up the trashcan and shoved his face in it, screaming at him to spit it out as he yelled back “YOU’RE ONLY DOING THIS BECAUSE IM AN IMMIGRANT
  • he was in charge of all the bullshit that day and it was hysterical but he wasn’t the one chewing gum loudly that was me
  • The vp came in to see what all the yelling was about to find a teacher shoving a boy’s head in the trash, one boy shirtless as another drew tattoos on him, the phone off the line with it’s cord wrapped around a kid’s neck, two boys dueling with skeleton arms, one kid with her leg out the window, a kid tying a skeleton foot to the ceiling fan, rubber bands and paper wasps flying from every angle, three people turtling backpacks, someone brandishing an epi-pen, sexual hangman being played on the chalkboard, someone eating ice cream and fanning himself with money, and me, crying into my book with my hand literally bleeding from all my efforts to not laugh at what I was witnessing
  • We never saw her in detention again😂
  • My one younger friend got a detention for being late and was really shaken up about it and I tried to tell her she’d be fine but then she got caught sliding me chocolate animal crackers during it, and subsequently got another detention because of this; somehow I was not viewed as an equally guilty party and didn’t get in trouble
  • This one guy came in complaining “You guys all told me to get a twitter and I get thrown in twitter jail my first day!” “That’s like a thousand tweets in one day, how the fuck did you mange that?” “Bitch I had a lot to say about McDonalds!”
  • One teacher came in and was like “I don’t feel like helping with homework but does anyone wanna learn how to hack a computer?”
  • Someone got caught pouring water out the window but when the teacher looked to see why she saw the youngest of the goats™ standing under the window with it’s mouth open waiting for more
  • One time the teacher wouldn’t let me go to the bathroom and after I asked for like the 5th time he said “It can’t be that important!” so I just pulled a pad out of my backpack and silently sat it on my desk while glaring at him and this 40 year old man looked like he was about to pass out and he finally let me go
  • I remember our final detention of senior year we were told that if we skip it we can’t graduate so everyone went into that room with a ridiculously nostalgic attitude and one guy finally stole the skull off the skeleton and we fucking tossed it around the entire time while singing and blatantly ignoring the teacher’s complaining lmao
  • I know there’s more but it’s 7am and this is long so all in all like…I do not miss high school but some memories are bearable lmao

anonymous asked:

i'm scared to ask this but what happened in chile today?

I usually don’t discuss drama openly on this blog and will typically ask you guys to personally message me off anon, but this is way too important.

So apparently “fans” were bothering BTS at their hotel (i.e. screaming for them, making lots of noise) and they couldn’t even rest. Then when they left the hotel to try to relax and eat at a restaurant, the fans followed them there… They were again being loud and disturbing the boys. According to @we-breathe-bangtan-sonyeondan, there were videos of someone explaining to these “fans” that “the boys were tired and needed to eat and then to rest for the concert. However, a group of 20-30 people were arguing that they just wanted to see them or greet them. They even said that BTS were artists and that they owed(?) the fans some sort of greeting or recognition. The person tried to explain that there were fans screaming and disturbing BTS all day and that they just wanted to rest, but the “fans” kept demanding some sort of recognition.”

I really cannot stress how ridiculous this situation is. Yes, not all fans are like this, but these fans are the fans BTS were first greeted with upon their arrival to Chile. Imagine how stunned BTS is right now. So called “fans” are not even letting them eat or sleep? Are BTS not humans like us? 

This is not exclusive to Chile, as we all know from Bon Voyage, this happened in Europe as well. Fans chased after BTS, forced them to give signatures, recorded them, followed them to hotels, and many more horrifying things. BTS has no obligation or reason to interact with fans during their “free-time” and that’s that. Imagine if you were on a plane for hours, were tired, jetlagged, hungry, exhausted, and were then greeted with screams, groups of people following you, acting like YOU owed them something. How would you feel? Frustrated? Mad? Irritated? That’s probably exactly what BTS is feeling right now.

I know not all of us are seeing BTS in concert even though they are visiting our countries or cities, but that gives you absolutely no right to treat them the way they were treated today. 

Furthermore, if you guys don’t want to treat BTS like human beings and respect them, don’t call yourself a fan or an ARMY. Also don’t expect BTS to come to your country again and don’t complain if they don’t return. 
- Kylie

Louis screaming “what the hell is going on here?” was absolutely heartbreaking. You could hear how scared and shocked he was in his voice.

Eleanor getting attacked by a “fan” for no reason other than rekindling with Louis was absolutely heartbreaking. No matter what you believe or ship, no woman deserves to be attacked like that, especially by someone who calls themselves a fan of Louis. Eleanor is obviously someone that Louis holds very dear to his heart, whether as a friend or a girlfriend, and honestly? It’s nobody’s god damn business what she is to him. To attack her right in front of him, to stress him out and do all of this to him after knowing what he’s been through lately? There’s nothing lower than that. Have some decency and respect. People need to get their priorities straightened out and learn how to separate reality from fantasy.

This blog 100% supports Loo Brealey, Mark Gatiss, Steven Moffat, and ALL the creative talents who have given us “Sherlock”, to do the work as they see fit & to not have to defend their work to, and be harassed by, disappointed, sourpuss knobheads who call their temper tantrums “concern” for character or proper representation.
SHOUTOUT TO FUCKING CHARLIE BOWATER FOR CONTINUING TO GET THE RECOGNITION SHE DESERVES... SHE IS A POWERHOUSE AND THIS FANDOM IS HONESTLY INDEBTED TO HER LIKE THANK YOU CHARLIE #PRAISEBETOCHARLIE OKAY

@charliebowater BLESS YOU AND YOUR ART AND YOUR PARENTS AND YOUR DOG AND

Originally posted by emmazkii

Do’s and Don’ts of shipping REAL people

Shipping is okay with real people when it’s done respectfully. Here are MY do’s and don’ts of shipping real people:

DO: make fanfics and fanart. It’s a great way to improve your writing and drawing skills and it’s a fun way to express yourself.

DON’T: send the people involved in the ship said fanfics and art unless it’s ASKED for. It can make them uncomfortable, and put a strain on their friendship, which no one wants. (Especially you!)

PRO TIP: If you have fan art that is all friendship and not romantic/sexual, send it to them! Everyone loves a drawing of themselves!

Examples: Minicat, H2ovanoss, and Phan.


DO: Spread positivity! Compliment each others fanfics and artwork. Support each other’s headcannons and opinions!

DON’T: Hate on someone’s fanfic or fan art if it display’s something you’re uncomfortable with, such as smut and/or triggering content. Although, said fanfics should be tagged accordingly and given the proper warnings.  

PRO TIP: If you see fan art promoting any vile and inappropriate issues, REPORT IT.  For example, a fanfic that someone wrote for a fandom I was in, was promoting Pedophilia and that IS NOT OK. Please take proper measures to get the fanfic promoting serious issues such as pro-rape, pedophilia, romantization of self-mutilation, and etc. removed.

Examples of this are in banana bus squad EVERY FANDOM.


DO: Send sweet tweets and comments that contain something along the lines of; “You two are so cute!” “I love your friendship!” and other sweet comments like that.

DON’T: Send tweets and comments that say something like, “They’re definitely fucking” “Are you two dating?” “Are you guys gay?” “I bet they secretly like each other! Look at all this evidence!” “You and your girlfriend/boyfriend need to break up so you can date [insert name here]!” and other comments along the line of those. It’s rude and disrespectful and makes them feel uncomfortable.

PRO TIP: If someone in your ship starts dating someone else, DO NOT ATTACK THEM. It’s rude, awful, and down right just nasty. It’s an extremely childish thing to do. Respect their partners like you would your favorite person.

Some examples of ships that have grown apart in real life because of excessive shipping and hate being sent their romatic partners are: Troyler, Septiplier, and H2ovanoss.


DO: Make friends within the fandom and have healthy discussions about other ships, headcannons, and posts.

DON’T: Attack someone if your OTP is their NOTP. Do not put hate on headcannon’s and fanfic about how “They would never do that in real life”. Fanfiction and headcannons are suppose to be fun. The way people write their fics are their own choice and maybe be inspired by things they have dealt with in the past. I know that when I write fanfics they can get a bit ooc because I focus on the story line, rather than the people I’m writing it about.

Some examples of shippers that have hated on others for the reasons above are: Destiel, Phan, and Jaspar.


Above all, keep the shipping, the fanfics, and the romantic/sexual fan art in the fandom. If they wanted to see it, they would ask for it, or find it themselves.

Also have fun and ship responsibly/respectfully!

NHL Team Gothics
  • Anaheim Ducks: You turn on a Ducks game. The screen is white. It must be Ryan Getzlaf’s bald head, you think. You’re probably right.
  • Arizona Coyotes: You accidentally call them the Phoenix Coyotes. No one corrects you. You’ve never encountered someone with them as their favorite team.
  • Boston Bruins: Chara checks someone into the boards. That someone disappears into thin air. You wonder if they keep a list of people Chara has made disappear like that.
  • Buffalo Sabres: You constantly forget about their existence. Would they be more relevant if they had won the draft lottery and had gotten McDavid, you think sometimes. You forget about them again.
  • Calgary Flames: A Flames game gets interrupted. Someone yells that there’s a child on the ice. It turns out to be Johnny Gaudreau. Gaudreau eats a Snickers on the bench, and scores.
  • Carolina Hurricanes: The Canes are down 6-0. Jeff Skinner smiles at a ref. The Canes are up 6-0.
  • Chicago Blackhawks: Chelsea Dagger starts playing in the distance. Oh no. You start running. The music gets louder. Someone yells: “3 cups in 6 years”. You’re crying. You can’t hide.
  • Colorado Avalanche: Someone on their roster scores. You must be dreaming. They get a win. This can’t be real, you think. The world must be ending.
  • Columbus Blue Jackets: You blankly stare at the TV. You’ve lost count of how many times you’ve heard the cannon by now. You stopped counting after 10. Your team still hasn’t scored.
  • Dallas Stars: There’s a fan crying. “Our goalie situation is shit,” they sob. Another fan rubs their back. “At least Tyler Seguin is still hot,” they say. You roll your eyes.
  • Detroit Red Wings: You hear someone cursing Dylan Larkin. “Why can’t he score,” you hear them say. Crying, they cuddle up to their Yzerman hugging pillow.
  • Edmonton Oilers: “McDavid sucks,” someone says. Ten Oilers fans and Milan Lucic appear from nowhere. “You suck,” Lucic says and punches them.
  • Florida Panthers: There’s a ceremony before the game. Jagr is turning 70. Jagr scores the OT winner.
  • Los Angeles Kings: You make eye contact with Anze Kopitar. He looks dead inside. You nod at each other. What is Kopitar losing fate in, you think. You still relate to him.
  • Minnesota Wild: The Wild has a 10 win streak. It ends in a 0-1 loss to an irrelevant team. They start a new 10 win streak.
  • Montreal Canadiens: Carey Price breaks all his limbs. Therrien doesn’t pull him. Shea Weber positions himself on the ice. Al Montoya tells Weber to take the shot while maintaining eye contact with Therrien. Weber shoots. They hire their rivals’ old coach. You wonder if god is real.
  • Nashville Predators: You meet a fan. They’re crying. “How are you?” you ask. They keep sobbing. You notice they’re wearing a Weber jersey. You understand.
  • New Jersey Devils: You watch a Devils game. You can’t remember the score after it. You’re only convinced that Adam Henrique is not real.
  • New York Islanders: John Tavares gives an interview. He’s more plain and boring than you remembered. You can’t stop watching though.
  • New York Rangers: Henrik Lundqvist stops the game to have a photoshoot. The play continues. He’s not in the net. He makes a save. You don’t understand.
  • Ottawa Senators: “Ottawa Senators,” someone says. You have to think for a while. You remember Erik Karlsson. That’s it.
  • Philadelphia Flyers: No one has seen Jakub Voracek’s face in five years. His beard and hair just keep growing. No one knows how to stop the growth.
  • Pittsburgh Penguins: Someone accidentally says “Crosby.” In a minute, there’s someone with a peach emoji. You hear the words Phil Kessel is a Stanley Cup Champion at least once a day.
  • San Jose Sharks: Someone on their roster scores four times. Joe Thornton is somewhere, stroking himself. Despite the lead, Martin Jones sits on the bench with dead eyes.
  • St. Louis Blues: Tarasenko scores. Tarasenko scores again. You wonder if anyone else ever scores for them.
  • Tampa Bay Lightning: No one has seen Steven Stamkos in years. People wish for his return. No one expect nothing though.
  • Toronto Maple Leafs: “Matthews is better than Laine,” someone says. You keep quiet. It doesn’t matter if you agree. You’ll get attacked either way.
  • Vancouver Canucks: Henrik and Daniel Sedin have assisted each other in every goal they’ve scored. You don’t believe they’re two different people until you see them in person. Even after that you’re doubtful.
  • Washington Capitals: Ovechkin is in his spot. Everyone sees him, no one defends him. He shoots, he scores. In the distance, someone says: “Crosby is better.”
  • Winnipeg Jets: “Laine is better than Matthews,” someone says. You keep quiet. It doesn’t matter if you agree. You’ll get attacked either way.
Let us also hate the smaller details of the Pepsi ad

Everything about the new Pepsi ad is repugnant and insulting, okay? The two supporting characters to Kendall Jenner’s lead role are (A) a hipster cellist who beckons her to join a “protest” and (B) a hijab-wearing photographer whose moment of triumph is capturing a celebutante model hand a cop a can of soda. The cumulative effort is the single most repellent video I’ve seen since I watched an actual beheading.

But! Let’s not get bogged down in think-piece territory. There are lots of LITTLE things to hate about the video, too. And we should appreciate every terrible detail.

“Join the conversation” is a blank-box social media prompt. It is not something you would put on a sign for a public demonstration, even if that public demonstration were for something as nebulous and inoffensive as LOVE or PEACE. 

“Hey, you coming to the peace rally?”

“Yup, got my Join the conversation sign and some cans of soda.”

“Perfect, that is everything you need for a protest in free democracy.”

WHO MADE THESE SIGNS?

It started as a circle with a line through it, but there doesn’t appear to be anything inside the circle, because the people who made this commercial couldn’t take the chance of being actually AGAINST anything, even if they were going to slap a heart over it to show that love conquers all. 

NO HATE? Whoa, slow down! We’re pro-love, but we’re not anti-anything. Nazis can love, you know. And they deserve the fresh taste of Pepsi as much as the woke millennials whose business we so desperately crave.”

WTF? “JoTin The conversation”? Hey, the milquetoast invitation for discourse wasn’t half-assed enough, let’s shittify it an extra 15% with a nonsensical design flourish.

“Hey man, made that LOVE sign you wanted.”

“Looks like the lettering was too small the first time so you painted over it and gave it another go.”

“Correct.”

“And the second time was also not large enough to fill the sign.”

“Listen, I didn’t have all day.”

Bullshit fucking fake-ass spacious protest. “We’re marching for peace … and elbow room!”

AD EXEC 1: Y’know, not ALL young people like protesting. Can some of them just be, like, eating pizza?

AD EXEC 2: Should they get up and join the protesters? It doesn’t really fit with Kendall’s narrative.

AD EXEC 1: Fuck no, they’ve got pizza. 

Kendall Jenner’s mind is blown as she sees middle-class people for the first time! 

KENDALL: Ew, what’s that smell?

PA: I believe that’s a mix of debt and diplomas.

KENDALL: What and what?

OH SNAP. Kendall has shed the artifice of wig and lipstick to join the FIGHT to, uh, join a discussion about love? I feel so empowered! And thirsty!

Welcome to the protest! Everyone’s marching with plenty of space on a pleasant day in Los Angeles, but we have a hydration station that may or may not dehydrate you (the science is still kinda iffy, don’t look it up).

What’ll it be? We have Pepsi, Silver Pepsi, Pepsi Blakk, and Pepsi in bottles. Just some ice chips? Okay, but they’re not water. 100% Crystal Pepsi.

Step back from this article for a second, dear reader. Place aside your immediate thoughts of the protester-police unity achieved by Kendall Jenner giving a handsome cop a Pepsi (even though there wasn’t tension between the crowd and the cops before this, because that would have taken some sort of narrative risk). Table, if just for a moment, the emotional and political flashpoints of Black Lives Matter, Blue Lives Matter, the Women’s March on Washington, conspiracy theories about paid protesters, and the increasingly fraught existence of basically everyone in America except for a small percentage of exceedingly wealthy people.

Consider, instead, the marketing team behind this. This was born in a brainstorming session, or perhaps in an executive’s mind as he watched a throng of angry, desperate people stand up for what they believe is right. This is a branding opportunity, someone thought, fanning the flames of a garbage can fire in Rome. 

If I can give Pepsi any credit here, it’s the notion that a pretty white girl born into money and fame is the best person to bridge the gap between protesters and police. We could have really used her in Ferguson. 

I’m sure she was busy.

Yeah, totally. Join the conversation.

Brutally Honest Venus in Houses

Venus in House I
Aren’t you miss Marilyn Monroe? You present yourself to the world with charm and cuteness and get stuff on your way like that. You’re very flirty and love to play dumb so stupid people thinking they’re too smart will lecture you and you will even get out of the situation pretending you’re a good learner when in fact you’re just being diplomatic and shady. You like to be sexually admired and know how to use it in your favor without being obvious. How not to like you? Not even you know that.

Venus in House II
Here comes Lana del Rey in her Sugar Baby phase. Maybe is not even conscious but your love life has to be luxurious and you will probably fall for rich people - not that you are actively looking for this kind of thing. To you, romantic means financial effort, and if they care enough they will do it for you, right? Also you’re pretty obsessed with stability. Love comes with a price, and you won’t marry and put your being in the hands of someone who can’t even pay its own bills. Maybe you have a heritage or come from a wealthy family, and you will keep at least the same pattern of life you already have with someone stable that knows how to $ enjoy $ life.

Venus in House III
You probably fell in love for a teacher once. You just can’t resist a sweet talk and somebody that can share stories, knowledge, with good humor and a mind sharp… you’re so done. You also like to be with someone that can talk about anything without making a big deal of it, and if they don’t have anything interesting to say anymore you get bored and that’s it, the end. Also because of your endless need for new information and learning you may feel polyamory is something considerable, maybe even desirable. So many people with so many stories to share! Or maybe not, if you date a true nerd with a good heart. Is very likely you will find romance in school or college, or any study group, and maybe inspire you to follow an academic or scholar career.

Venus in House IV
You are very, very, very romantic and sentimental. Love means marrying and children, or at least marrying and having loving pets to raise. Sometimes both. You like the traditional bound - you may even say is not for you but honey, you don’t fool anyone. You like the idea of having a ring in your finger and showing off your sweet partner while making up names for your future children (or pets). You probably came from a family that gave you this traditional view - or from a so fucked up family you desired your whole life yours were better than that and decided to make your new family the closest thing possible from a traditional one. Either way, you will look for someone that can handle your family or be among the other half’s family as it were yours. And you are a hard worker to keep things as perfect as a butter advertise.

Venus in House V
You are so in love… with yourself. And everything you create. You are expressive and people love your presence - they better do, you’re a fucking genius - and you know how to attract people, how to flirt, how to keep them interested. Is like they say: work on your garden and the butterflies will come to you, and geez, your garden is a stage with high quality lightning while Mozart plays in the background to make the flowers grow more beautifully. You work on your appearance, on your expressiveness, you know exactly what you’re doing and those who don’t know how to appreciate it are not worthy of you. Your partner is someone you picked from your fans, they must admire you too - better saying, they have to understand what you are and what you do. Otherwise why even bother to lose your time with them? Losers.

Venus in House VI
You love someone who is responsible and hard working. Love to you is something a bit colder than others, you have high standards for what you want in your life and need someone to help you achieve it. This someone must work as hard as you do, must cooperate with you and stand still facing critics because you’re really mental, and your relationship is one of the things you will analyze more than feel it. The problem is you might over analyze it and ruin things when they were supposed to be ok. Chill, man. You do a good work, trust your standards, you will do fine. And so will the person you coldly chose to be with you. You will probably fall in love for a competent co-worker, maybe even your boss, or someone with a very practical view.

Venus in House VII
You’re the Venus itself. You’re a social butterfly and diplomatic af, everybody likes you and you don’t even give them the chance to not like you. You’re so fucking nice and loving, how can they not like you? Unless you have a stellium in aries or something, geez, you’re good at attracting people. You will probably fall in love for pretty people, be pretty yourself and want pretty things surrounding you. You’re all about beauty - inner and outer, but c'mon, everybody likes the outer more. You’re well behaved, gentle, you talk looking into people’s eyes and genuinely asks if everything is ok. You will probably marry and be very happy since the person that will be attracted to you will admire every piece of you, and feel lucky to have you around. Just run from people that use other people (they might perceive you’re too nice and use the shit out of you) and creeps (they might see your kindness as openness and try to do creepy shit).

Venus in House VIII
The more complicated, the better. Not because of drama, you just like… intense things. Normal relationships bore the shit out of you, you need something that will change your life completely, change the way you see things, you feel things, someone that can divide your life in “Before my partner” and “After my partner”. Someone to do new things, develop new dreams, and someone to take care emotionally and trust completely. You’re not the type of going around telling everyone you’re in love - sometimes you don’t even feel it coming. Is just there, and then you want that person all for you, in a very possessive way, and do everything to mark your territory without being obvious. You like mysterious people, or just really different people, because they will make you feel beyond the obvious and share dark secrets - the ultimate love proof for you. You may have a thing for people you shouldn’t - be the other person, or even cheat. You also are a bit traditional… but a darker version, like Morticia and Gomez - to die and kill for it. Partners in life, partners in crime. Usually in life, though, if you’re healthy.

Venus in House IX
You want to PaAaARtYy. Woohoo. You have energy, passion, attitude, and you fall for very optimistic people that will take you out of your comfort zone and go beyond with you. You might fall for college teachers and researchers, maybe people that traveled the world, or even high knowledged religion leaders, like priests. Or just a parter for crazy ideas. To you, a relationship must be something to add flavor and spice to your life and make it something incredible. Make you do incredible things, go to places you never - or always - dreamed of. The ultimate romance is to take you in a trip where you will experiment so many new things and cultures. You’re all about expansion and your love will take you beyond, make you learn something new, master a new technique… love is something almost religious that will bring you salvation. The problem is when you notice the patterns of things and get bored, or if your beloved is passing through dark times of regression. You feel lonely and that energy becomes irritation, and you may go alone with hope to find new love since you have no time for sad people.

Venus in House X
You’re the boss here. You know exactly what you want for love, and this comes with traditionalism, effort and a good status. You like the idea of marrying and having kids but indifferently from your gender you will be the “man” of the house, the boss. You will lead the relationship, take the initiative, ask to go on a date, decide when to marry, choose where to live, what to do, how to do. You are very hard working and security is important to you - and if the person doesn’t give you enough of it you will just fire them and leave the spot open to better candidates. You may seem cold but you don’t play with your life and love is something strong for you, so you just don’t give it for anyone that messes with your head. You actually know very well the difference between love and lust and are able to have lustful relationships without love, just to relieve your carnal needs. Cold, right? But real. You take responsibilities and obligations very seriously, and if you decide to bond with someone you will do it in the right way.

Venus in House XI
You’re popular and care about everyone. When it comes to love you have to find someone that will bond with your friends and coworkers. You go along with everybody and important people tend to like you. You may get involved with someone very political, or with strong political views, particularly with the power to actually do something for the masses. Or maybe a technologic nerd that is developing solutions for daily problems. You’re all about improvement and will want someone to share this view, and work together to something that will help others somehow. You’re here to make things better and your partner must recognize this. You don’t fall a little tiny for selfish bastards, even if they look pretty af - at this point you’re probably questioning the beauty standards and laughing at people that tries too hard to look good. You’re different, unique, and sometimes this is a blessing, sometimes a curse. You know you’re out of the place and fall for smart all of the place people like you. And if your morals and political views matches you will probably going to die together, holding hands and shit.

Venus in House XII
Your love is unconscious. You’re dreamy and imagine a life together with an ideal you’re afraid it doesn’t exist. This may indicate your love is in a past life too, someone you’ve bond so strongly you miss him/her and don’t even know its face. Your love makes you better as a person, grow and learn more about you. You might feel you’re infantile and this is so strange for you, while it seems so obvious for others, and will want to hide and never try. You’re too ashamed to show your feelings and always expect the worst, sometimes making a self fulfilled prophecy, and then going after easy escapes such drugs, games, porn. Bonding is specially hard for you because that’s what you need most to grow, and growing is never easy. You might break up as soon as you realize the person is not what you wanted it to be, not wanting to deal with their problems. Don’t run. You’re lovely and you can make your big dreams come true if you stay and keep on trying. Or at least the closest thing to true, which is fantastic anyway, because you’re a fabulous dreamer and that’s a great gift.