You’ve known Peter your entire school life. In preschool, you sat next to each other and that must’ve set a pattern for you both, even though you became friends in fifth grade. He was never the toughest guy, still isn’t in your opinion, he was more like a small, fluffy puppy. That didn’t have teeth. Or nails.
Okay, so he’s a stuffed animal.
So, one fateful day at recess, you saw your next desk over classmate getting picked on. Being the type of girl that never cared about getting dirty or danger, you walked up behind the bully and kicked the back of his knees. Needless to say, after you served detention time, you hid for a couple days.
You almost regretted it when Peter started following you around. Sure, you were, and still are, tough, but you’re no bodyguard. However, the brown-haired puppy-boy grew on you and soon he didn’t have to follow you; you met at the bus stop.
So grew a strong friendship. You added Ned to your small group, then Michelle (sorta, she sort of just kind of hung out with all of you), though it made people call you the Nerd Patrol. Did any of you care?
Well, a little at first, but not now.
When you turned fourteen, something changed. You didn’t see Peter as your puppy boy friend (even though he still is). You saw his awkward, lanky, adorable shyness and how much he cares about his friends. You started noticing little things about him. How he’d mess with his hair when he’d stutter nervously, how he’d send you adorable smiles when you walked by in the halls, even how he’d chew his lip during a test.
Then you realized.
You have a crush on your best friend.
Except, he has a crush on Liz and you can’t blame him. She’s beautiful and smart and they look adorable next to each other. Who really wouldn’t love Liz? And you? Just some tomboy, dorky, nerd. Sure, that’s who Peter is, minus the tomboy part, but he deserves someone perfect, like Liz.
You slam your locker shut in frustration as your thoughts race, followed by your heart when you think of Peter. All you wanna do is bang your head into it, but a quick glance to your left shows Michelle leaning against the wall with a granola bar in hand. She holds it out to you and your stomach grumbles.
“How’d you know I didn’t eat breakfast?”
She looks you over with a somewhat bored but knowing look. “Your hair’s in a messy ponytail and looks kinda greasy, you’re wearing a pair of your sweats and a loose T. Usually, you have your hair up neatly, you wear graphic Ts, and camos. So, no shower, slept in, and didn’t eat yet. Also, you’re upset.”
You sigh and take the bar from her. “You know, you’re incredibly scary when you do that.”
She shrugs, pushing off the wall. “Come on, don’t wanna miss an opportunity to draw people in distress.”
You shake your head, following her slowly. “God, you’re so strange.”
Settling into your seat, you bring your notebook out and start jotting down some thoughts, mostly about how you’re trying and failing to control your emotions for your best friend. Who just happens to choose now to sit next to you now.
“Hey, Y/n. Whatcha doing?” Peter tries to lean over to see your writing.
You shut it quickly, sliding it into your backpack and bringing out your notes for class. “Just waiting for class to start. Where were you last night? I thought we were supposed to be studying together.”
He facepalms, groaning into his hand. “Oh, crap…look, I’m so sorry, I-something came up and I had to take care of it. I am so sorry.”
“What’d you end up doing, then?” You can’t help a little suspicion from lacing your voice.
Peter seems to think hard for a moment and your heart sinks. Is he trying to think of a lie or hide something from you? Maybe you guys aren’t as good of friends as you thought.
“I had promised Ned that I’d help him his Death Star Lego set. I’m really sorry, I should’ve called.”
You nod slowly as the teacher begins the class. You try to distract yourself with small notes that probably mean nothing to this class. He was lying. You knew he was, they did the Death Star last week. What was he doing? Maybe with Liz.
That thought just makes your stomach burn.
School ends in a blur for you as you can’t focus more than four seconds without going back to why Peter would lie to you. You throw your books in your locker and grab your journal notebook to bring home. If you can just get home without getting stopped-
“Where are you going so fast?” Michelle is leaning next to the door with her arms crossed, her usual bored expression on her face.
You huff, pouting a little. “I just wanna go home. I need my shower, okay?”
“You’re hiding something.”
“What do you mean?” you sigh, just wanting to leave before Peter finds you.
“You’ve been avoiding Peter, so I’m guessing it’s because of him. What happened?”
You shift your weight uneasily. You hadn’t told anyone, not even your parents, about your huge crush on Peter Parker, so telling both of you guys’ friend…who could turn around and just tell him…but she won’t stop asking or probably let you leave until you tell her.
“Peter, okay? He happened.”
Her eyes flare slightly in realization. “I see. You’re a little jealous of the attention he gives Liz because…I see.”
You shrug and walk past her. “Like I can compete with Liz, though.”
Michelle just sighs as you leave, shaking her head slightly. You walk home quickly, not wanting to stop again before you can scream into your pillow and basically just die. You told your biggest secret to your friend and you have no idea how to process all the things that could go wrong. Running inside, you lock yourself in your room and flop on your bed.
“Stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid! Why are you so stupid?”
You bury your face into your pillow for a while until you look up to check the time. The sun is already down and your room is flooded with a street light as you roll onto your back. Your notebook and backpack had fallen onto the floor next to your bed when you flopped onto your bed. You don’t bother to try and get them, though, you’d rather just die.
Or take a shower.
Deciding to do the latter, you scramble to get up and take a quick shower, coming out in a pair of shorts and old tank top with a towel to dry your hair. What were you gonna do if Michelle told someone? One thing is for sure, you were running away from New York.
You freeze as your window is pulled up and open. Now, you don’t believe in ghosts, but that there was reason to think they’re real. However, you’re sure there’s a perfectly good reason for it to open like that…on its own. Yeah. I mean, that’s what you and Peter always say when Ned tells ghost stories. So it must be true. Right?
You let out a loud sigh of relief when Spider-Man crawls in through the window, though that turns into confusion, which then turns into concern for the wall crawler as he drops with a loud groan of pain.
“Um, excuse me?” you ask softly, not wanting to startle him too much.
He tilts his head back to look at you, his mask eyes seeming to wince as he does. “Uh, y-yeah…sorry about, uh…dropping in on you.”
You chuckle softly at his quip, as lame as it may sound. “Think I can help?”
He nods. “That’d be much appreciated, thank you.”
You quickly run back into the bathroom to grab your medical supply box that your mom had made you make in case of emergencies. It’s not that big, but it has some peroxide, anti-biotic cream, bandages, and cotton balls to use. You jog back into your room to see him trying to stand up on his own, legs shaking slightly. Dropping your bag next to your bed, you grab his arm and have him sit on your bed.
“Easy, Mr. hero. Don’t over exert yourself.”
He huffs, groaning softly. “Fine.”
You grab your bag again and stand in front of him, shifting your weight slightly on your feet. “Um, okay, so…I did not mean for stripping to come out of this.”
He tilts his head slightly, wondering where in the world you’re going with this.
“I need you to take your suit off.”
“T-the mask, too?” he asks, suddenly very worried.
Your eyes widen. “No! No, no no, not unless you wanna…I just wanna help with where it hurts the most.”
He nods slowly, agreeing with you finally as he presses the button in the middle of his suit, loosening it up so it just slips off. You look down into the bag, blushing a dark red. If you paid more attention to guys’ body types at school or around you, you might be able to tell who he really is with him bare in front of you. Well, besides his boxers and mask. That only makes you blush darker.
You kneel in front of him, soaking a cotton ball in peroxide. “This is gonna suck,” you mutter.
He chuckles softly and you swear you’ve heard it before. “I took the hit, I can take the cleaning.”
You shrug slightly, pressing the cotton ball to one of the cuts that litter his torso. You hear him hiss under his mask, his muscles all tense, but he doesn’t pull away, so he’s pretty disciplined. You gently blow on it to keep the sting down and to dry it before you put a bandage on it, just like you’d do with a child. You don’t know he’s blushing under his mask.
Just as you go to put some anti-biotic on the bandage, only to find out you didn’t have enough. You growl, running a hand through your hair in frustration.
“Everything okay?” Spider-Man asks with concern.
“Yeah. Just stay put, I gotta run downstairs for more Neosporin which is in the downstairs bathroom because my house is dumb, so stay.”
You quickly run down to the bathroom, searching the drawer for the Neosporin before sprinting back upstairs. You sigh in relief as you don’t hear anything moving in your room, thinking he’s still sitting where you left him. You open the door and look up from the tube in your hands to talk to him, but you freeze.
He’s reading your notebook.
“What do you think you’re doing?!” you yell at him, making him jump and fumble the notebook, failing to catch it, so it falls back to your floor. He scrambles to sit as casually as possible, only looking more tense.
You growl, grabbing your hair tightly. “How much did you read?”
“Just that…you have a crush on m-your best friend. Peter Parker?”
You nod slowly, sighing heavily as you walk back over to him. “Yeah…but it’s dumb. He doesn’t like me back, he likes this perfect girl named Liz. I don’t have a chance.”
“How do you know that? Have you asked him?” his voice sounds tense to you. You give him a look as you start wrapping the bandages around his body. “Like I could.”
He stays quiet for a while before you see him reach his hand up towards his mask, slowly pulling it off his head. It comes off in almost slow motion for you, first revealing tousled brown hair, then nervous looking eyes that you know so well, then finally the face of your crush and best friend.
“Peter?!” you screech, stumbling back away from him. “What the fu-“
He jumps off the bed and covers your mouth with his hand, though that pretty much left him hovering over you. “Don’t scream! Please. No one else can know, okay?”
You tear his hand away and scramble up, gasping softly for air. “Oh, my god, you’re Spider-Man…oh, my god…”
He watches you pace nervously in front of him, rubbing his arms slightly. It’s kinda cold being pretty much naked.
You pause, turning towards him with wide eyes. “So, you know Iron Man? And Captain America, Thor, Black Widow, all of them?”
He nods slowly. “Yeah…I mean, I’m pretty much an Avenger.”
A huge smile graces your lips. “Oh, my god! That’s so awesome! You have to tell me how everyone’s like! Is Iron Man really such a playboy? Is Cap’s shield really heavy? Can you lift Thor’s hammer? Is Black Wi-“
You’re cut off by him pulling you close and pressing his lips to yours gently, shutting you up.
“In case you were wondering, I do like you, too.” He chuckles softly as you gape at him.
“Well…you could’ve just said so,” you murmur, connecting your lips again.
“…Okay, but seriously, answer my questions and put some clothes on. I ain’t like that.”
Warnings: There will be very explicit sexual content, violence, drugs, graphic descriptions of everything, so please don’t read if you’re easily triggered and please don’t do drugs.
A/N: I don’t know, I’m sorry. You should probably read fromPart 1, because this will just spoil everything for you.
Also, I don’t know why I keep doing that thing with the milk, just view it as a metaphor. None of these pictures are mine, credits to the owners.
Before we start I want to make clear a few things. This is not paid work which means it’s substandard trash, all of the scans used are unofficial, but all the interpretations are mine.
Ready? Set. Go.
This first panel is not a shipping panel. LuNa or SaNa, it’s not. However because it’s been some days since Sanji took off, that means between that day and the day Luffy and company arrived, he’s been on her mind. Again I stress, this is not a romantic sign or symbol of any note. Her tears are of worry and relief because she’s been worried sick for her nakama and relief because finally, Luffy’s here, let’s get the rescue rolling.
The next two pictures are about Nami being eager to get off their butts and go after Sanji right away. But Luffy and Zoro are in no hurry, and even Chopper and Brook in other panels are just sad that Sanji is gone but they’re not like Nami who’s gung ho about chasing him right away. Does that mean they’re not worried about Sanji? No, of course they are, but Nami obviously is the most worried here.
Right before everything happened, Nami was pretty belligerent towards Sanji. She’s used to everything he does, including his antics. But by no means does that mean she’s apathetic to him. After all, even as early as FI our guy Sanji put in the work. In PH even if he didn’t like it, he followed Nami’s wish to save the kids and his body serendipitously saved Nami from Caesar’s explosion. Nami knows that Sanji would save any other of his nakama, but it was only during the time skip that she began to see how much special attention Sanji actually paid her. And she doesn’t even know yet, that Sanji gave her body respect when he dived that lake to get Kinemon’s torso, when just a few minutes ago he was cupping her breasts like a madlad for a punchline.
Nami also remembers quite clearly what little Sanji told them about his family. It doesn’t seem anything special until you realize that when this happened, Nami asked Chopper right before to dig a spot up for gold, and forgot all about it entirely when Sanji was telling them about Liar Norland.
So then Sanji and co. got captured. This is what I think triggered Nami, the “I’ll be back but not really” smile she’s seen twice in her life now: Sanji’s and Bellemere’s. She never really knew what she had until he was gone.
In this panel Nami is mad at Zoro for victim blaming Sanji. Both sides have a point, but take note of Luffy. He noticed, as well as I did (and a few others), that Nami was being a teensy bit overreacting at this point. Why I judged that to be his action instead of Luffy observing the back and forth, is because he’s of the same opinion as Zoro…marriages are no big deal, it’s not like somebody won’t return from a marriage. But Nami’s uncomfortable with it, so in order to remedy the problem, he decides to go up to Sanji and ask him to come back, because their navigator was being cranky when he wasn’t around. Also because he didn’t want to be a Big Mom subordinate, but if it was really the basis of his decision then he should have decided the chase before Nami’s overreaction.
The other two victims, Brook and Chopper, had very different stances. Brook was the calm and mature narrator while Chopper just kept apologizing.
See again Luffy in this panel. But, in addition to noticing Nami’s vehement objection to Sanji’s Vinsmoke lineage, there’s also what I call the “wait a minute!” graphic. It’s those small lines that form a semicircle near a character when something catches their attention during someone else’s monologue. So now he knows something’s definitely up with Nami, if he wasn’t sure before.
That face isn’t a “wait a minute, what are Vinsmokes?” but rather a “wait a minute, why are you objecting?”
For comparison, this is Nami’s “wait a minute, I know who you’re talking about” panel.
After the Jack ownage, Luffy was open to another banquet like he wasn’t done with one the night before. Nami feels once is enough, let’s get going, and gives her usual excuse of “you can’t go anywhere without a navigator” spiel like Luffy doesn’t know what she does. Go back to when Luffy visited Pekoms, he was still saying no to her because the fewer the members the higher the chance of stealth. But now all he says is OK. He knows that somebody on his crew can’t wait to see Sanji again, and he’s all too happy to oblige.
Even in this catfight prelude, Nami wants to hurry up, giddy up. But when Pudding elaborates on her situation…
THIS is where I think Nami caught herself slippin’. Luffy’s just happy with someone complimenting his cook, Chopper is concerned with fact checking, but Nami…is concerned about Sanji’s emotional well-being? If she really didn’t give him the time of day then why the hell does she care whether Sanji marries for love and not just for political reasons? Just Nami well-wishing? Can’t be, because well-wishers would not question whether or not the bride loves her groom in a political marriage.
ANYBODY else would give the happy bride-to-be a congratulations but only a “former-gf-who-has-accepted-the-reality-of-the-situation-who-still-has-residual-feelings-of-love” would confirm for herself if the man she left/who left her is being loved by his bride-to-be.
And before someone says “But family members and to an extent nakama would ask that too!”, they won’t question the bride’s/groom’s feelings, but whether or not he/she is ready to take care of their partner for the rest of their life. Nami isn’t asking “Will you take care of Sanji for the rest of his life?”
Also I think this conversation makes One Piece finally fail the Bechdel Test after all these years.
Fast forward to when they caught up with the Germa, that’s Nami’s face of relief from being worried about not being able to see each other again. If Sanji were his normal self this is probably where he’d ask her Do you love me now, Nami-san? or something. And after Nami fighting about quarter/half of 11 hours vs Cracker (this dude could take several G4 punches too), she’d probably reply to him in kind at that point.
I have no doubt in my mind that this Nami was one who already recognized her feelings and had no problem acting on them.
But reality is cruel…Sanji wasn’t taking any chances. Even going as far as mock Luffy for his dream…and she believed it…despite hearing about a week ago from his own mouth that Luffy was going to be PK!
Luffy never believed the cockbull Sanji was cranking out, so why did Nami? Well for starters, Nami never experienced Sanji lying to her. Ever. You can even search the whole manga for a panel up to that point where Sanji lied to her, you won’t find it. That’s why she believed Sanji’s lies so easily.
Do you remember the Usopp vs Luffy fight? The stated reason is because Usopp doesn’t want to leave the Merry behind, due to his own insecurity about being weak and his projection onto the boat being useless and needing replacement which snowballed into him cracking. But was that really all it was? Of course not, Usopp wasn’t selfish enough to fight for himself. Flee for himself maybe. He wasn’t just fighting for the Merry Go, he was also fighting for Kaya because Merry was his reminder of her.
Scour the manga, all of Usopp’s most emotional fight moments are because he was fighting for someone else.
Back to Nami, what did the slap mean? Was it anger at beating Luffy up and spitting on his dream? Yes. Was it because of all the stress and worry for him being useless at that point? Yes. But as a natural opposite of Usopp, Nami’s most emotional fight moments are about herself.
Nami decided to fight Arlong because of his continued tyranny towards Cocoyashi Village despite her doing her best to pay up their freedom, but the bulk of her anger was about how much Arlong fucked her life up. Thanks to him she never grew up with a normal childhood.
With Nami vs Ms. Doublefinger, I think Nami even decided to leave her to Zoro. However because she was being labeled a weakling (and underestimated), she decided to stay and fight. Nami vs Kalifa was a similar case of underestimation despite her taking the fight because Sanji was useless against Kalifa.
I think Nami was also mad that Sanji wasn’t the same man she realized she fell in love with. Gone was the kind, humble, and goofy man who would stick up for his nakama and their dreams. In his place was a snotty brat who acted superior to everything and believed status gave them the right to shit on other people’s dreams. Nami thinks Sanji has changed for the worse because of his newfound status, and drops the endearment term “-kun” which she only used for him.
It’s framed like in TV dramas where the lady slaps the man out of passion. Yonji even lampshades it: “She’s the fiery type!”
The last pic is just Nami’s “oh shit no” look compared to Luffy’s “oh shit” one.
I’m too tired to continue so I’m stopping this here.
Better researchers than I can spot where Nami first got infatuated by Sanji.
All I’m saying is, they don’t really care about us Sanami shippers should not worry about the character development Oda gave Nami in the Year of Sanji. It’s been a long time coming for us but it’s the last stretch before the game ends.
Don’t expect Oda to give them a flashy confession or an extraordinary action to validate the ship.
But if I read Oda right and this is where he wants Sanji and Nami to take the next step into their relationship, we’re in the green.
Naysayers will say things like “but Nami would do the same for the other nakama” or “so and so would act like that too” but take heed and remember, Oda does not write without reason. He MADE Nami overreact because he wants US to care that Sanji was taken from the crew. He WROTE Sanji into catching Nami with both of them sharing a brief smile because he wants US to feel the relief of both parties safe in each other’s hold.
And he DREW Pudding being jealous because that’s how some other ships feel about this arc. jk ilu guise this is just banter
What do you think might happen to Seidou in the future?
Hi LS! I think Seidou’s arc hereon out will revolve around the symbol of Amon’s cross. To put my prediction into context, I’ll also be analysing his development throughout the series.
When we first meet Takizawa, he is introduced in contrast, as the kind of comedic follow-up, to the impressive entries of the big names of Shinohara and Houji into the story.
This is a perfect example of structure reflecting character. The very way we are introduced to Takizawa is exactly how he views himself - the underwhelming and pitiable novice following at the heels of his betters.
Right off the bat we are introduced to the two major character features that will guide the course of Seidou’s development henceforth: his earnest admiration (and desire to emulate) great investigators like Amon, and his lack of confidence in himself. These features are expanded further with Suzuya and Akira’s introductions, who further intensify Seidou’s inferiority complex with their immense skills and frustrate his admiration of the Investigator image with their unorthodox approaches: Suzuya’s complete disregard for the conventional and Akira’s disdain for how Takizawa longs for promotion.
Takizawa desperately wants to overcome his own weakness and become the Investigator he admires, especially with these constant aggravations to both his confidence and his ideals around. Thus his eagerness to get out into the field.
But when the call to arms finally comes, we see his ideals conflict with his confidence as he weeps over his testament. But in the end, Takizawa is able to conquer that weaker side of himself and strive forward to the ideal - even running to the rescue of his old hero Amon. And how is he rewarded for his bravery? For being the “ideal Investigator”?
He is turned into a Ghoul.
After a turn of events so twistedly and tragically ironic, it’s no wonder Takizawa lets go of his aspirations to be a praiseworthy hero and rejects Amon’s determination, especially after devouring his own parents. The human image is turned to meat in the next, and thus does Takizawa’s psychology change. “Give up what?!” indeed - the Hero is dead. So instead, he falls hopelessly into the pit of his other major character trait, his low self-esteem and self-hatred. He embraces the weakness he detests.
And he manifests that weakness in the form of extraordinary violence against the people deemed by himself and by others as his “betters”.
It is Kaneki who experiences this first, the man whose precedent Kanou tortured Takizawa to live up to, mirroring the pressure Seidou put on himself to live up to others in now graphic and hyperbolic format.
But, suppress it as he might, Takizawa’s Investigator complex, an intrinsic part of his character, can’t help but rear its head again when his other hero, Houji, comes knocking. His fantasy from his suppressed desire for heroism can finally become real. Depressive nihilism is not a sustainable ideology and if the light of hope appears, even if its been false in the past, you will still hopelessly run to it.
And Takizawa is disappointed yet again. His earlier rejection of the Investigator image returns tenfold in his fury, symbolically killing the model of it he looked up to. In an ironic reversal of his introduction, Takizawa is the only one of the three investigators introduced in that scene to still be active, and is easily the most powerful, to the extent that one of those ‘betters’ has now been killed by his own hand. Having returned to his crusade of envy, he launches his attack on Akira only to be prevented by Amon, who he similarly turns against. Takizawa is now driven by nothing more than that second part of himself in its most grotesque form - to prove himself better than them, no matter what the cost. But he finds himself backed into a corner by Mutsuki - Kaneki’s parallel, the symbol of the Half-Ghoul - and thus of his own slide into absolute Ghouldom. But on the brink of tragedy, true hope appears, as it does for our main character in this same arc. Seidou is protected from the symbol of his Ghouldom by the symbol of his humanity, and the reconnection to his better, heroic nature begins.
But to put back on the cape completely, Takizawa needs recognition by the vivid symbol of his better nature that still survives - the man he was introduced looking up to.
The cross is one of the most basic and famous archetypes for morality as well as being synecdoche for Amon’s character. In this way, Takizawa is holding his ideal in his hand - it is, quite literally, within his reach, whether he thinks he can handle it anymore or not. It is enough to inspire him to do his first purely good deed in years - saving Akira - and he spends the following arc following the path of self-sacrifice to ensure both her and Amon’s full recovery. Takizawa even states in his internal monologue later on that Amon inspires this change in him.
But of course, when he next meets Amon, the shoe is on the other foot. Despite what his own insecurity told him, Takizawa was a fine Investigator before his transformation - second in the class is nothing to scoff at, and his attempt to save Amon was truly heroic. Now Takizawa finds himself face to face with another fine Investigator transformed into a monster, and swears to make him a person again. He is being confronted with a doppelganger of his worse side and symbolically overcomes it. Kurona realises what he has become even if he himself has not.
However, despite that, and fittingly in the Moon Arc, Takizawa is still unable to embrace his Heroic side. Once again he is undermined by that tenacious lack of self-confidence. He decides that he can never live up to Amon or Kaneki after all he has done, and to simply do this one good deed for the people he cares about and then fall off the radar. Potentially, as Kaneki predicts, falling off this world.
So he tries to return the cross, that symbol of Heroism that reminds him of his inability to reconcile that desire with his own weakness - the “heavy chain”. But Kaneki doesn’t let him.
Kaneki won’t let him give up on that heroic side of his, because he remembers where he himself was headed when he did the same. Because Seidou’s conflict - between heroism and weakness - is, like so many other tragic characters, simply a battle between his duty and his feelings, his Giri and his Ninjo. Kaneki is only here today because he ultimately chose his Giri (without entirely neglecting his Ninjo), and he hopes Takizawa will do the same.
Indeed, Seidou is far more like his idols than he thinks. He might think himself irredeemable, but both Kaneki and Amon have a wide range of sins under their belts while still being heroes today. And what that cross really represents is far more than just moral excellence, as Takizawa probably assumes judging by his resignation to damnation.
It is a symbol specifically for repentance. The fact that Takizawa has been handed this cross once more symbolises, both to him on a personal scale and to us on a narrative scale, that he must one day fully make his repentance, banish his cowardice and become the hero that he always wanted to be. That, I believe, will be Seidou Takizawa’s final triumph over tragedy. His Ninjo ought to focus on the friendships he’s fostered rather than fixating on his own deficiencies. As the Christian imagery indicates, salvation exists for all repentant sinners.
He’s trying to live normally now, but to paraphrase the man himself, with the Oggai around living normally is no easy feat. To even accomplish the meagre goal he’s set himself, he has to be a hero, or a normal life won’t even exist anymore. He’s already been driven to help out Hakatori, someone he came to blows with back on Rushima. His better nature is leaking out, ready to gush like a flood. All it takes is this Judgement phase for it to break through.
I doubt he’ll join the CCG rebels after what happened last time, and just as well - if Marude blamed Urie for failing to save Iwao, he’s certainly not going to forgive Takizawa for outright killing Houji. I suspect he’ll eventually be reunited with them, but right now I see two options, represented by his two most prominent parallels. Either he’ll rejoin Kaneki and help him rebuild his movement, or he’ll seek out Amon and Akira and join them in whatever endeavour they’re engaging in.
He’s been set up to be a force against the Oggai - and this, surely, will bring him closer into contact with the true author of his tragedy, far more than Tatara ever was. A final reckoning with Kanou, I think, lies in Seidou’s future.
And in the interest of parallels, let’s not forget this conversation with Kaneki.
Takizawa very accurately pins down Kaneki’s development as being in the same place as his own - to live for someone else. Helping your friends is just one step down the hero’s path. If Takizawa’s destiny is to become a hero for the world, then it’s Kaneki’s too. He’s already gotten closer to that destination after Touka inspired him to care more for the plight of the Ghouls, just as Seidou has moved closer with his concern over the Oggai - but the rest of their development in this direction lies in the Judgement to come.
Whatever Seidou does henceforth, I’m sure it will be the right thing.
Request: Can you do something like Truth or Dare? (Y/N) and Shawn both like each other and everybody knows, so they dare them to kiss.
A/N: Writing this took me around two days, and I changed some things, but I hope you guys enjoy it!
The sun was shining, and you could hear people laughing as they enjoyed the first nice day since the long brittle winter. You would give anything to be out there too, eating ice cream and being outside. But of course, you had a paper to finish.
A year ago, you thought high school was enough, but college was a whole different level. All of your weekends were filled with late nights working on essays and, if you weren’t doing that, there were still exams to study for. It was frustrating.
You had just finished when your phone’s ringer interrupted the silence, making you jump a little. The caller ID brightly said your best friend’s name, Marina. “Hey,” you greeted.
“Are you doing anything tonight?” she asked immediately. In the background, you heard casual music and what sounded like people shopping. She was probably at the mall. The girl couldn’t go a week without buying something new.
You were surprised at the sudden question. There was a hint of desperation in her voice, worrying you. “I was planning to edit my essay.” You walked into the kitchen of your apartment to grab a glass of water. The last few hours of your time were spent sitting at your desk. That damn essay was all you could think about, which made you forget to even eat or drink anything.
“Well, not anymore,” Marina simply announced. Upon hearing those words, you choked a little on your water. “There’s a bonfire at Beachfront Park tonight, and everyone is going.”
You circled your finger around the rim of the glass. “What do you mean by everyone?” She had a habit of leaving out details.
“You know…the inner circle. Brian and all of them.”
“Marina, you know I can’t. I have a lot to get done,” you yawned. Sleep didn’t come that easily to you nowadays either.
“You’ve been stuck in your apartment drowning in assignments. And when you’re not there, you’re at school. Relax a little, just for one night.” You couldn’t deny her.
“You’re not giving me a choice, are you?”
You already knew what she was going to say. “Nope. Get ready, I’ll pick you up at seven.” Before you could reply, she had already hung up. One night of freedom wouldn’t hurt, right?
After smoothing out your outfit in the mirror, you looked outside your window to see Marina’s car parked outside. You checked yourself out in the mirror one last time, and walked out the front door.
The refreshing air had hit you like a wave. It seemed like all the colors outside seemed brighter, and your senses had dialed up. God, college was taking over your life.
“Wow, you’re actually alive,” Marina dramatically gasped when you hopped into the passenger’s seat. You rolled your eyes and lightly punched her arm. “You can’t blame me. I haven’t heard from you in five days until now, (Y/N).”
Your heart sunk to your stomach. Guilt was starting to creep up on you. It never clicked to you how distant you’ve been to everyone you knew. The only thing that’s been on your mind was school. How could you disappear from your best friend?
“I’m sorry,” you muttered, fumbling with the seat belt.
Marina sighed and turned the music down. “No, it’s okay. I know how important this is to you.”
“Marina, I literally cut you off for almost a week.” Turning your body towards her, you leaned your head on the window.
She took a quick glance at you. “(Y/N), don’t beat yourself over it. We’re hanging out again. That’s all that should matter,” she countered back.
You gave her a small smile. “You’re probably right.”
“Aren’t I always?” Marina grinned and flipped her hair over her shoulder. Playfully rolling your eyes, you leaned forward to turn the music back up.
The car had came to a halt, and ahead of you, you saw a huge fire already blazing. All around it was your whole group of friends. A smile appeared on your face, but then you saw Shawn.
He was wearing a dress shirt with the first few buttons popped open. It practically showed off half of his chest. You swallowed the lump in your throat before looking at Marina, but she already had her gaze on you. She smirked as your eyes widened.
“You didn’t tell me Shawn was coming!” you freaked out. Her eyes told you she was enjoying your reaction.
“I told you everyone in the inner circle,” she sang out. “And Shawn is in it, of course.”
“I thought he was on tour!”
“He has some time off, so he flew back home to visit.” You ran your fingers through your hair, looking at her like she was crazy. “(Y/N), come on. Everyone already knows you like each other. We’ve all been waiting for the two of you to get on with it already.”
Heat rushed to your cheeks, making you hide your face in your hands. “He doesn’t like me.” Your words were muffled, but Marina already knew what you were going to say.
“Have you seen the way he looks at you?” You shook your head, climbing out of the car. “I’m being serious. Ian and Brian can tell too.”
You and Marina had grown up with Shawn, Ian, and everyone else. Throughout middle and high school, all of you guys were best friends. But when eleventh grade came along, you found yourself falling for Shawn, but you pushed it aside. Three years later, nothing changed. There were plenty of girls all around the world who flung themselves out at him. Why would he be interested in you?
You were too caught up in your thoughts to even realize that Brian was hugging you. “There she is!” he yelled out, squeezing you tighter.
“Good to see you too,” you laughed.
After reuniting with everyone, there was only one person left, who you missed the most. Shawn was a few feet away, and you didn’t care about how hard your heart was thumping or how numb your legs felt. You ran towards him, the sand making you stumble a bit, and almost tackled him. Your arms were tightly around his waist, but his were hugging you tighter.
“Hey,” you mumbled into his chest. “Long time no see.”
His body moved up and down as he lightly laughed. “God, I missed you.”
“I missed you too.” A warm fuzzy feeling came over your body, making you slightly light headed.
Neither one of you guys knew how long you stood there.
“C’mon lovebirds, we want to play a game!” Matt yelled. Both you and Shawn were flustered as ever when you sat down on the various blankets around the fire.
“We should play Truth or Dare!” Marina suggested, causing everyone to groan.
“Marina, we’re not in middle school anymore,” Ian pointed out, reaching towards the cooler to grab a beer. “And what’s the point, we’ve all grown up together. We already know everything,” he chuckled. He had a point.
“Then, how about Dare or Dare?”
You leaned back on your hands.“This is really sad. Normal college kids would be playing…I don’t know. Beer pong or something,” you laughed, but you all ended up playing anyways.
Five dares later, which included Matt to go skinny dipping in the ocean, someone had picked on you as the victim.
“(Y/N), Dare or Dare?” Ian smirked.
Already not liking the way this was going, you replied. “Okay, you and Shawn go somewhere by yourselves, and come back after thirty minutes.” At this point, everything had gone silent. The only thing that was making noise was the crackling of the fire and the waves crashing.
“Ian,” you warned.
“We don’t have all night,” he shooed you guys away. In the background, you could hear them cheering. “Thank me at your wedding!” Ian hollered back as you jokingly flipped him off.
“I can’t believe them,” Shawn chuckled.
Beers in hand, the two of you walked along the shore of the beach. Shawn told you stories from tour, and he begged you to tell him about college. You were a little taken back at first. College was nowhere near as interesting as playing shows every night and travelling the world, but you went along with it.
“How do you do it?” he asked. You looked up at him, meeting his gaze.
“What do you mean?”
Shawn shrugged, and took another swing of his beer. “College. It sounds like hell, but you manage to keep up with everything.”
You laughed, causing him to tilt his head in confusion, which you always thought was adorable. “Trust me, it is hell. I’ve been pretty MIA for a while because of how much work I have to do,” you groaned.
“Do you think it’ll be worth it. You know…after you graduate?”
You looked out onto the water. “Well, I hope so. If I don’t, then I don’t know how I’m gonna get on with my life. Graphic designing requires a Bachelor’s degree, and I don’t seem to enjoy any other pathway.”
You always hated talking about the future, adulthood to be specific. It terrified you, but for some reason talking about it with Shawn made you feel something entirely different.
“Graphic designing seems badass. It’s practically meant for you,” he laughed. “You’re always drawing something.”
Grinning, you turned your head to sneak a quick glance at him, but he was already looking at you. There was something else in his eyes. It was bugging him.
The corners of your mouth lowered a little bit, and a face of concern replaced it. “Shawn, what’s wrong?” He shrugged his shoulders, completely forgetting about his beer.
“I just feel like I’m missing out on so much. College, friends, you…”
Your heart jumped a little. “Me?”
Shawn gently laced his fingers into yours, making the both of you smile. “Yeah, I’ve been wanting to do that for the past six years,” he murmured.
Out of nowhere, you felt a surge of confidence burst into you. “And I’ve been wanting to do this,” you whispered. Standing on your tippy toes, you pulled Shawn down by the neck and connected your lips to his. He automatically pulled you closer by wrapping his arms around your waist.
Sure, the both of you had kissed people before, but this was entirely different. Six years worth of hidden love was finally being left out, and it felt like pure bliss.
When you guys finally pulled away, Shawn leaned his forehead onto yours. The both of you were panting like crazy, but couldn’t get rid of the grins that were on your faces.
Warnings: Graphic depictions of blood and gore, character death, sexual content, Daddy kinks, queefing.
Notes: This story is set and written in 1950′s America, but the language is, in my head, spoken in English. But, of course, that is up to your own interpretation. Welcome to the Merlot Murders series and introducing: The Crimson Killers.
The swinging tune of The Coasters sang out into the streets of the city as he made his next move, boots crunching on the gravel and his lips puckered to a whistle, singing the tune back into his ears. It had been a long, long time since he’d come back to this place, and hell he wasn’t planning on returning any sooner than he just had.
He had things to do, places to be, things to eat. The life of an immortal gives you these chances and possibilities that the mortal cannot have; superhuman speed, the power of reading someone else’s mind, sharp fangs that could tear the throat of another being who stood in his path. All these nightmares came in the package of being a vampire, and Taehyung had just come to accept it.
“Smile more,” his friend said from beside him. “You look like you want to kill someone.”
“Funny you should say that,” Taehyung mocked, “but you know, I’m a vampire, and killing people is kind of part of the package.”
Hoseok nodded once, understanding. “Right. You’re not as old as me, the youth has yet to learn.”
“The youth,” Taehyung replied, “is learning. I’m just hungry.”
“Well,” Hoseok began, swinging an arm around his old, old friend’s shoulders, “that’s why you’re comin’ with me. You’re lucky I even got you the job- you’re gonna get free food, good money and the love from the waitresses.”
Taehyung sighed, following his friend as they walked into the driveway of the large diner, swerving in and out of pastel coloured cars parked in a messy fashion in the parking lot.
“That’s not going to help me,” he explained. “Human food just grosses me out sometimes. I mean, all that grease. It’s not my style.”
“I know,” Hoseok commented with a grin. “Pretty girlies with skirts are your style. But don’t worry- Maria works here and she tastes divine.”
Summary: AU. When a major account is on the line at work,
reader is forced to revisit some old connections at her ten year high
school reunion for a chance at success. Will she let the past consume
her, or will she see the future in her grasp?
Pairing: Bucky Barnes x reader
Word Count: 2,367
Warnings: language, snark, memories of cheaters
A/N: I usually like to have Nat be the schemer, but I’m liking Wanda as this bleeding heart hopeless romantic here. I hope you do, too!
Akatsuki no Yona chapter 136 “Message” summary with pics and color title page
Please don’t repost/reuse my scans and translations without permission. Tumblr reblog is fine.
not use the raws or translations for scanlations and don’t upload them on other
websites. If you need watermark-less images to make graphics, send me an
ask (not on anon) and I’ll give you a link - you can only request 3 images per chapter.
I’ve been on vacation this week, so I haven’t been reading any of the brilliant metas around so I apologize if I brain vomit over things that have already been discussed but I did want to just get my little read through of the chapter out into the fandom. Yeeeee.
Other than this chapter being ridiculously brutal and graphic, I was very surprised by what an emotionally vulnerable turd Sangwoo is in this chapter.
A/N: This is kind of rushed and I hope it’s good idk please comment or send feedback because I live for it and idk if this is trash or not
You had been walking through the hallway, your nose in a book as you tried to cram as much studying as you could before your European history test sixth period, when someone literally crashed right into you at an intersection between two hallways.
Obviously you hadn’t seen them coming, and even more obviously they hadn’t seen you either. However, knowing most of the kids in the school, they probably wouldn’t admit it.
“Hey, watch where you’re fucking going! God, focus on walking instead of reading since you clearly are too stupid to do both at once!” You were right.
You saw Laurens take a shot, the man a few feet away from him. The blood splattered on his face, but he seemed unmoved at the man’s flesh exploding right in front of him. Out of the corner of your eye, you notice a man running at you. He was too close for you to shoot, so you took out a knife, and threw it towards his face. The blade hit its target, sinking into the man’s eye socket. You saw it split in half, the sound of bone crunching, the blood shooting everywhere. It seemed like his body was still moving forward, and after a few seconds, his body fell to the ground. You were frozen, staring at the man in front of you. His blood was on your face, staining your skin. But you didn’t notice, stuck in your thoughts.
*GRAPHIC IMAGERY END*
He was young, maybe even younger than you. You knew his family would mourn over the death of their son, and curse the person who killed him. You felt water roll down your face, and you wiped it away, staring at your hand. It was blood. And it was not yours. Your hands started shaking uncontrollably, and you felt someone grab you by your arms, jolting you back and forth. Your gaze moved slowly up to the man in front of you.
Warnings: Mentions of sexual harassment and hints of rape. !! Please be careful if you are sensitive to these themes. It is not written to graphically but still. !!
note: I feel very sorry for everyone who requested a drabble that I did not finish yet! I know I probably should have fulfilled those before starting this but I kinda didn’t think about that tbh. I hope @byunshim @solvej @xnihil and the other anons can forgive me! But be sure that I did not forget you..I am only so much into this story right no so I liked to continue it first…But I promise I will release them in the near future. Sorry ♥♥♥
Btw I really like the story the way it is going right now ;) Thanks for appreciating my work ♥
Excerpt: “Did I already told you that I always get what I want?”, he purred
before ripping off the dresse’s straps in one go. His lips touched your
exposed skin and you inhaled noisily.
Help! It was only a silent cry.
Foreign. That was how you felt. In that dress. At this event. With those people. A little lost you stood in the middle of the room with a glass of alcohol someone pressed into your hand. There was only dimmed light but you saw enough to notice a few men were eyeing you. It made your skin crawl.
“Y/N darling. I am happy to see you here.” You automatically turned towards the voice. It was the “boss” in a dark blue suit. He came towards you and pressed a gentle kiss to your cheek alongside with wrapping his arm around your waist.
“H-Hello..ummm.. sir..”, you broke off. I don’t know his name.
“Yoongi please. I don’t think I presented myself yesterday. Sorry princess, sometimes even I can forget my manners, when I meet such a beautiful person.” He started walking towards a seating area and you were forced to go with him.
“Don’t worry”, you brushed it off nervously.
“How about I make it up to you?”
“There is no need for that, Sir…”
“Yoongi”, he corrected, “But I want to. Just stay by my side for the rest of the evening.”
“But Taehyung said I need to be with the clients.” That name alone get your hackles up. After you came crawling out of your room since you really had no other choice, you swore yourself to never talk a word that is not totally necessary with him.
“Screw what he said. I am still the boss here right?”, he joked and patted to his side to indidcate you to sit down. Yoongi’s casual nature made you relax a little and you sat down.
“What do you want to be in life, princess?”, he focused all his attention on you. The question actually surprised you.
“Umm.. I don’t really know what to answer.”
“Come on. Everyone has a dream. What is your dream?”
You just wanted to open your mouth when another man suddenly appeared on Yoongi’s side and whispered something to his ear. He sighed annoyed.
“Sorry again, princess. Work calls. But remember what you wanted to say and we will come back to it later.” You nodded obediently. “Taehyung will watch over you till I come back.” You would love to protest but you had no chance because Taehyung was already there. You did not know how he managed to be so fast. Maybe he is creeping through the shadows the whole time keeping an eye on Yoongi and yourself. “Don’t let anyone come near her.” Yoongi fixated Taehyung with his gaze till he nodded.
“Excuse me then. I will be back.“ Yoongi left and you stared at your feet awkwardly.
“Do you want to drink some more?”, Taehyung asked.
You continued to stay silent like you promised yourself but you could also felt his piercing look on you.
“Any wishes?” You noticed his foot tapping on the ground. It must be a sign of impatience.
“Fine. I will get us something.” He went away.
You exhaled noisily. I am not good at this shit. You were never the person who remained being mad at anyone for long. Despite how much they hurted you. A bad habit I guess. You were so lost in your thoughts that you have not noticed a man approaching you.
“Hey sexy”, someone let himself fall next to you. You looked up to see the unknown man. “Are you free?”, he laughed where some very yellow teeths were shown. He scooted closer and his hand landed on your knee.
“Umm..actually I am waiting for someone.” You gently shoved his hand down from your leg.
“Noo don’t tell me I am too late for you beauty”, he whispered. His breath smelled of cigarettes. You hated that smell so much you felt like vomiting. His hand landed directly on your breast and he gave it a rough squeeze. You gasped.
“Sir I am sorry but please refrain from touching this lady. I am sure there are enough other women available to any wished service”, you heard Taehyung’s voice from the side and it took a load off your mind. The man stood up to face Taehyung. The problem here was that he was just way smaller. He noticed that as well and swore to himself while leaving.
Taehyung and you looked after the man. He went straight to the next girl. Taehyung huffed before handing you a glass which you took hesitantly. It was only a small “thank you“ you whispered before you focused your attention on the substance in your glass. You took a deep gulp and immediately started coughing. As the liquor burnd down your throat a thought stroke through your mind: Can this evening become even worse?
You got up and made a step when Taehyung’s hand wrapped around your wrist to stop you.
“Where are you going?”
”Imma go to the bathroom”, you informed him annoyed. You lost your balance shortly so Taehyung had to support you or else you would have fallen onto him.
“Are you alright?”, he sounded sincerely concerned which surprisingly led into you giggling like a small girl.
“Why should YOU care?”, you emphazised before walking away and leaving him behind.
It was a stupid idea to drink so much. You realized it as you sat down on the toilet and everything felt like spinning. You rested your head against the cold bathroom wall and exhaled. What do you got yourself into Y/N? What is all of this? I want to go home. A single tear escaped from the corner of your eye and ran down your cheek. You quickly wiped it off and stood up. You fiddled a little with the lock but then the door snapped open. You washed your hands and stared into the mirror. If I want to go home, I will go home. It is so easy. You exited the bathroom with the serious intention of running away.
The next thing you remember was someone pressing you into the corner of the corridor.
“Hey there. I prefer talking to you without your watchdog.” It was the man from before. Everything went so fast you could not really follow it in your tipsy state. He may be smaller than Taehyung but he was taller than you. And wider. His hands were wrapped around your arms and held them pressed against the wall behind you. The rest of his body was touching yours in every possible way. You felt like there wasn’t even any space left for you to breath.
“Did I already told you that I always get what I want?”, he purred before ripping off the dresse’s straps in one go. His lips touched your exposed skin and you inhaled noisily.
Help! It was only a silent cry because somehow there was no tone leaving your lips. Since the dress had been so tight you did not wear a bra. You horribly regretted that now because it meant you were half naked already. His teeth sank down into your neck. The pain made you unfreeze and you started writhing out of his grip. But every move you made felt like his hands wrapped tighter around your arm so you were sure there will be marks. You stopped since the pain became unbearable. He shifted so he was holding both of your arms in one hand and the free hand sneaked under your skirt. He brushed against your inner thigh further upwards. His finger yanked into the band of your thong and he ripped them apart as well.
That was the moment It felt like all of your body went numb. This is not happening to me. You distanced yourself till you were safely
tucked away in that body shell of yours. Nothing could reach you. What a great feeling.
I never wrote something like this and I hate myself a bit for that cliffhanger…
There is a certain aura around teen dramas that repels even the smallest sprinkle of interest I could possibly give to it. I tend to stay away and look down on shows airing on CW or MTV simply by the mere fact that I’d rather spend my attention elsewhere. The last teen drama I stuck with was “Freaks and Geeks,” and I would watch little snippets of more recent teen dramas here and there, like “Pretty Little Liars” or “Teen Wolf,” purely out of curiosity. Apart from “Freaks,” there was something I just found so corny about them. But this show I’m going to talk about now really forced me to challenge this stigma.
“13 Reasons Why” is based on the 2007 novel of the same name by Jay Asher, and was adapted by Brian Yorkey for Netflix. It stars Dylan Minnette as Clay Jensen, a reserved high school student who is plunged into a large mystery after the suicide of his friend Hannah Baker, played by Katherine Langford. Prior to her death, Hannah recorded thirteen incriminating tapes, each talking about a particular individual and their impact on her deteriorating livelihood. Clay comes into possession of these tapes and must go through them to bring justice for Hannah’s death.
I normally start a show out of curiosity, but this time I had several people come to me asking what I thought about it. I’ve mentioned above that I dislike shows that stink of the CW/MTV vibe. And sure enough, the first episode was giving me those vibes with an absolutely sub-par soundtrack and rather pretentious narration from Hannah. But I stuck through with this because after the first episode, I was thrown in for a loop and shown that this was absolutely not CW trash.
Nope. This was miles beyond it. I was hooked.
Minnette provides an ironically charming performance as a teenager who is supposed to apparently lack some. He approaches his character with a sense of urgency, and is absolutely perfect for that socially awkward role. But Minnette is only one of several actors, many of whom are relatively unknown apart from small television and short film roles. It’s difficult to single out any of the recurring cast, but if I had to choose, I’d have to shine a light on Brandon Flynn as Justin Foley (subject of the first tape) and Alisha Boe as Jessica Davis (subject of second tape). It might be because apart from Clay and Hannah, we spend the most time with these characters. But Flynn and Boe give immensely powerful performances as these two characters, both in their highest, happiest moments and at their most desperate, despondent stages.
But among all these amazing performances, perhaps the most telling performance from a narrative sense was from Kate Walsh, who plays Hannah’s mother Olivia. The story is told from two points in time, before and after Hannah’s death, and Walsh’s facial cues alone are already a clear distinction of which time period we’re watching. She goes from the typical, high school mother who just wants to be a part of her daughter’s life, to someone who has been damaged, and beaten down by numerous fits of emotion. Her eyes alone tell the whole story of what happened in between.
I’m saving Langford’s performance as Hannah for last because of course she had the heaviest task of all the actors: Going from a sarcastic, fun-loving, carefree high school girl to someone whose spirit is absolutely shattered by being wronged numerous times ad nauseam. Langford does this extremely well, when she’s on-screen that is. I have to mention that because if there were any moments where her performance was less than stellar, it was when she served as the show’s narrator.
And this is where the CW flashbacks come in, because honestly I felt myself getting a bit annoyed at her narration. From a tone that’s unconvincing of a soul-shattered teen, to absolutely pretentious dialogue. And BIG emphasis on “pretentious,” because what nearly got me to drop this show completely was the dialogue every now and then. Episodes would begin with her speechifying pseudo-cryptic epigrams, like “humans are a naturally social species,” or talking about the “butterfly effect.” It’s this level of pretense that drew me away from “Mr. Robot.”
I’ve mentioned a few times that the story is structured in two parts: before and after Hannah’s death. Many times these scenes are juxtaposed, conjoined by the narration of Hannah’s tapes. And much greatly to this show’s credit, the switches from the present to the flashbacks are absolute genius. The creators of this show could have taken the easy route and cut to the past with a slight audio cue, kind of like “Lost.” But nope. They went the extra mile to have the transitions flow, rather than cut. And they flow into each other so seamlessly, with clever distinctions ranging from the color of light shining on the different characters, to aesthetic cues like Clay’s present-time facial scar and Beats by Dre headphones. While the latter is blatant product placement, they also serve to show Clay inserting himself into the past vicariously through Hannah’s tapes. Little details like these really help the story flow much nicer.
As for the story, that might be what kept me from dropping this series. This is a much better story than it has any right to be, whether it be for its genre or its production. While the “one-individual-per-episode” dynamic might be hit-or-miss for some people, it competently – or rather successfully – handles some of the best character development I’ve seen in this genre. You will go from absolutely despising a given character to a complete 180-switch, sympathizing with them. And the thing is many of these characters could easily be one-dimensional, but they went incredibly in-depth to really make you care about their stories. I went from muttering “this shit is so corny” to throwing my hands in the air yelling “Boy don’t do it!”
Apart from a few words, I’ve been praising this show endlessly. But rest assured, I do have some major problems with this. One of them is the character of Tony, played by Christian Navarro. Unlike the other characters, he is not on the tapes, and instead acts as an enabler or a guiding force. He is essentially Hannah’s posthumous right-hand man, the one who is ushering Clay to finish listening to the tapes. His presence in the show started off as secure and reassuring. He would always be the only one who ever knows what’s going on, and wanted nothing more than for Clay to cooperate with Hannah’s wishes. But my problems with him started when the show attempted to flesh his character out as well. His backstory eventually led nowhere, and had no bearing on the actual plot. I’m a sucker for character development, but I feel like his character was better left as a mysterious force, rather than someone we’re supposed to sympathize with as well.
Another problem I had with this was that there are also a few too many moments where Clay’s parents try to connect with him that tend to drag on for quite a long time. What’s sad about this is that it’s probably not within the control of the show’s production. The story of Hannah’s tapes grabs you so effortlessly that the moments where Clay is having a heartfelt talk with his dad and/or mom tend to take the wind out of our sails.
My last two problems are things I can’t talk much about. The ending, because spoilers, and the soundtrack, because what else can I say other than it not appealing to me. I have this theory that all these high school dramas go for a tiny gray area around the vertex of “songs that sound indie” and “songs with relevant lyrics.” Sure enough, this vertex usually meets at the bottom of the barrel.
But I think the most powerful aspect of this show, and what it does better than most shows of its genre, is how much gravity it gives to the heavy subject matter it conveys. Being a Netflix show has worked out immensely in its favor. It will show the roughest scenes absolutely at its core. They don’t downplay or trivialize them. It gets so graphic that it’s even drew inadvertent criticism (my thoughts regarding which potentially in another article). And no, I’m not praising it like a 17 year old who just got to see his first bloody R-rated movie. But it’s usually counterproductive to sugarcoat or water down these difficult, traumatic moments.
For someone who claims to be open-minded and a lover of all media, I was pretty quick to skip this upon hearing that it was a drama that took place in high school. But as I’ve said before, that first episode threw me in for a loop, and I could not stop watching. Sure, this show has pretty significant lulls here and there, particularly in the dialogue, narration and atrocious soundtrack. But this also was one of the few shows that were able to manipulate me, emotionally and mentally. Any show that could make me go from despising a given character to downright tearing up for them deserves a place somewhere on my own personal hall of fame.
It’s very difficult to actually harass someone on AO3.
The primary way to contact a creator on AO3 is via work comments. By default, anon is on and comments are automatically posted; however, this is very easy to change and these options are automatically offered in the work posting form. In fact, it is possible to mark a work as only visible to logged in users, or to orphan it or add it to an anonymous collection (thereby hiding authorship). (For readers concerned about being monitored by others, it is also possible to make private bookmarks not listed when someone else clicks on your bookmarks.)
It is also possible to link someone’s profile, but they will probably never see it. If the link results in comment harassment, they can respond as described above. Users can mark disparaging works as “inspired by” a work by someone they are trying to harass, but this is fairly rare and requires a great deal of effort. The affected user can also submit an abuse report, and AO3 is pretty good at actually dealing with them (unlike tumblr). Unless it’s an actual parody and not just a polemic posted as a work, it will probably be taken down.
And you can’t get around this. Not easily. If an author does not want interaction, it is very hard to continue it. You’d have to create an entire sockpuppet account, and that’s bannable and not very easy to do. (And then it’s very easy for your target to shut you down again.) I’ve been harassed, in comments and via parody fic. Turning off anonymous comments and enabling moderation stopped it. I, the target, had absolute control of the situation, and it was quite clear to my attackers that I had not only denied them consent to say these things to me but also that they could not brute force their way around those boundaries. There was only one parody fic, and I have never bothered to report it because the harassment had largely stopped on AO3 and because it might look like a normal parody without context. But I still felt like that was an option, because AO3 has a history of actually taking abuse reports seriously.
In fact, if other sites took abuse and boundaries as seriously as AO3 does, the harassment would not have gone there in the first place. It only happened because someone whom I’d blocked kept screenshotting my blog, even after I’d set it as only viewable to logged in users. (And he had to use chrome mobile to get the screenshots, because the app makes it so blocked users can’t see real-time posts—though if the blog is still searchable, a search will still show posts. Eventually I disabled the logged in users restriction, because it wasn’t enough to stop this guy and because loading in the dash takes forever in a browser.)
I want to make it abundantly clear that most of what relatively little harassment can and does happen on AO3 is only possible due to less-moderated social media. Tumblr refuses to ban the man who encouraged his followers, including underage users, to start a flamewar on an explicitly sexual work with no relation to his political vendetta against me. Who repeatedly exhorts his followers to kill me by name; to kill other named users; to kill all members of a sexual minority and anyone who dares support them. Who encourages and spreads slander of these people as sexual predators. Who owns multiple sockpuppets created for the sole purpose of harassing people who have already blocked him. Who has been reported numerous times by numerous people. Tumblr does not care about harassment and has no consequences. You get a form email and no help. The report option is not even available within the mobile app. As shitty as its current block system is, it didn’t even have that before 2015 (or maybe late 2014?), and I suspect they were faced with a lawsuit in order to get that much. AO3 would have banned him ages ago, if he were even able to retain the motivation to be such a horrible person in the feedback-starved environment of AO3 comments. You don’t get praise for being mean to people there, even if the target is actually a bad person. If it’s not your work, you’ve already lost the argument, and people will find it boring or not read the comments on the fiction at all.
AO3 itself? Very difficult to harass anyone on there, beyond the level of annoyance they’re willing to put up with (which can admittedly be a lot, among those of us who write strange things and understand that many people will not want to admit liking them under their own account names), without going off-site. If fandom were confined to AO3 and email, maybe even also a lightly moderated set of forums and a traditional blogging site, harassment would be much less of a problem. Instead, we’re expected to use more recent forms of social media that are structurally predicated on the goal of viral content. Great for cat pictures; bad for discussion or accountability or the ability of users to control what happens to their own content, and with an inherent power differential between popular users and less-known users, since the former essentially control all information (especially in the presence of a moderation staff that only cares about dmca violations).
(I suspect that viral media is the trend of this decade, and that by the middle of the next, something else will replace it. I’m not sure what.)
But yes, that’s what harassment is, on AO3 and elsewhere. And then people have the audacity to act like seeing mentions of disturbing things in tags is harassment?
Lolno. First off, if it’s not aimed at a specific person or demographic group, it’s not harassment. (And if it’s not aimed at you or a group you are part of, you are not the victim of that harassment, just a concerned citizen.) Second, the warnings are there so you don’t stumble into graphic descriptions of the thing without warning. It would be…extremely unusual for someone to be triggered by the word “rape” but not by a graphic or explicit description of such, or a detailed discussion of, but without the word. Third, the tagging promotes consistency so users can better avoid exposure to it, and browser extensions to substitute one word for another exist.
Finally, it is ridiculously entitled to think that everywhere on the internet has the responsibility to be safe for you, personally. That is like accusing grocery stores of attempted murder against people with allergies because they sell shrimp or peanut butter. You need to take measures to keep yourself safe, not expect people to do things that would often be removing more general safety features to keep you safe, especially if they don’t even know you exist.
And like…it’s the internet. You will see porn you did not ask for and do not like. The appropriate response is to be mildly annoyed and hit the appropriate buttons to make it stop.
Moral outrage is not the appropriate response, and it isn’t the same as harassment or being triggered. Most of you all think AO3 is a hellpit of abusive fetishizing fic that will cause anyone who reads it to do those things to other people, and want it shut down. And you’re wrong on all counts, and just end up sounding like creeps who want to rape people for real and are only stopped by social disapproval. (Especially when you proceed to sexually harass people in “socially approved” ways to express your displeasure with their ships!) So stop. Sit down. Realize that your disgust is probably personal and does not mean that something is morally wrong. (Seriously, people are into some strange things, and most of them are harmless in fiction and impossible in real life.) Stop acting like fringe cases should dictate everyday life. And if you really, truly must attack something Bad and feel like you’ll die if you don’t and you don’t have a therapist to call, go take it out on /pol/. Make sure to use a proxy.
Title: cloud nine Pairing: Lee
Jinki/Reader Genre: Soulmate!AU. You dream about
your soul mate a week prior to your meeting. Summary: Sometimes
dreams were confusing and Jinki doesn’t know if he just met his soul mate or if
he’s in cloud nine.
Ice cream days
were the most perfect epitome of summer that could exist, when even a tank top,
shorts or the air conditioner couldn’t do the trick to keep you cold, so you
went for the variety of ice cold treats such as creamy ice cream or hard
popsicles that will refresh your body in no time. However, it gets harder to
have ice cream days when you start working and continue to do so during the
summer, so it was a surprise when she found herself in the middle of a park,
wearing comfortable clothing that she decided to wear after work and her
fingers played with one another as if she was nervous, as if she couldn’t stand
any more in that line that lead to the precious taste that will hit her tongue
and make her feel like she was in the middle of winter. Her foot moves a bit
too and the moment she realizes she was nervous was when her eyes roamed around
the place, but it felt weird. Why was she nervous? Who was she looking for? Those
questions circle her head but like most things, it doesn’t have an answer so she
decides to keep it like that, letting her mind concentrate on anything but what
made her feel nervous.
But as she reaches the beginning of the line and she starts to take her
money out of her bag, asking for her favorite flavor before she saw the sugary
treat in front of her. However, when she was about to give the money to the
seller, she feels a hand placing itself on her back and she looks at the person
beside her. On another occasion she would have flipped, but there was something
about this man that was fairly familiar so she simply stares at him. His full
face, his sweet eye smile, the bronzed tone of his skin, everything was a new
beginning and she wondered how a person could be this ethereal, he also showed
his beautiful body by the graphic tank top he was wearing and he gives her a
guilty grin before sighing.
Every single weekend, Spencer disguised himself as a friend of Y/N’s and spent the weekend there, going undercover once again when it came time to leave and go back to work. With a home base in DC, it was thankfully easy for the two of them to meet every weekend.
If someone had asked Spencer if he would’ve been dating a famous singer even a year ago he would’ve mocked whoever said it, but here he was, staring out the window with his sunglasses on checking to see how many paparazzi had camped outside her place this weekend.
Y/N Y/L/N was one of the world’s most famous singers - America’s sweetheart, insanely talented with a heart of gold and voice to match. How did they manage this was one question. Another was how the fuck had Dr. Spencer Reid of the FBI’s Behavioral Analysis Unit find himself dating the most sought after singer in the country - arguably the world.
One night, three months earlier, he’d had a bad case and she’d been desperate for time away from “her people,” so they’d ended up at the same bar. Without knowing who she was, he’d approached her, said she looked sad and offered to buy her a drink. They went for an entire two hours talking about anything from their childhoods to their favorite movies before she’d said who she was and he’d recognized the name. The rest had been history. Small town girl meets big city boy.
As he looked out the window once again, noticing nearly 25 paparazzi, he turned to her and let the blinds float closed. “How do you deal with this?” He asked incredulously.
“I tell myself every morning that I get to sing music that I wrote and people enjoy it, and I try to forget about the fact that I have people outside my house who are basically waiting for me to do something stupid or scandalous so they can catch it on camera.” She huffed and puffed as she walked to the kitchen and took a sip of her coffee. Her sunglasses rested comfortable on top of her head. The flowing black skirt and graphic tee loosely hugging her frame. While he was off to the BAU, she was off to the studio as she was in the midst of recording a new album.
Neither one of them were in a hurry to expose their relationship. Though they were comfortable enough to let friends and family know, the likelihood of their relationship going public at that point was something neither of them wanted. For her, she didn’t want the paparazzi hounding him at every turn. The moment they were outed as a couple, he would be questioned left and right about what it was like to date “Y/N” - the superstar. For him, she had a scandal in her past that work might not approve of. After the combustion of a bad relationship, an ex had hacked her phone and dumped all of her naked pictures out onto the Internet. She’d been so nervous telling him about what happened, but all he cared about was tracking the leak back to her ex and putting him away for what he’d put her through - she’d been a victim; there was nothing wrong with naked pictures. Either way, the Bureau as a whole might have an issue with it, and Spencer didn’t want to deal with that just yet.
“I’m sorry,” he said, crossing the kitchen and taking a sip of his coffee. It was early in the morning and they had a few minutes before chaos would ensue. “Your voice has staying power. I know I’m biased, but I’m not the only one who says it, so one of these days, you’ll have the fame of your voice only without all this bullshit. They’ll move onto someone new soon.” He gave her a soft smile as he pulled her into his shoulder, luxuriating in the weight of her leaning against him.
A beaming smile flashed across her face. It was the kind that adorned the magazines she frequented. They only difference was that this smile was all for him. “I hope it’s sooner rather than later,” she laughed, pulling his mouth to hers for a lazy kiss before they had to leave. “You need to go.” She gave him another peck on the lips, and then another, before repeating that they both needed to leave. “I’m going out the front. They’ll come after me. That way you can sneak out the back, okay?”
Spencer nodded and walked toward the door, disguise ready to go just in case. “See you this weekend?”
“Absolutely,” she laughed. She was already exhausted with the paparazzi this week and it had barely begun. “Bye, babe.”
The second they left the house, he could here the calls of her name and the clicks of the camera from the front. He felt bad that she had to go through it alone, but as she’d said herself, it had been the life she’d chosen - some bad and awful came with the good and the great.
Five minutes later, the subway was in view and the sound of clicking cameras was so far away. He would handle being the boyfriend of a celebrity when the time came, because even though he hadn’t told her yet, he did love her, but he couldn’t imagine dealing with all of that himself. Work would be a welcome solace.
Nearly an hour later, he was walking into work after a quiet subway ride, during which time he read a book - twice. He’d said a few words to a person or two, but otherwise the silence had pervaded his mind - and it was great.
“Kid, really?” Morgan had his phone in his hand and a look of utter shock sprawled across his face.
Spencer looked up in confusion. “What really?” Morgan handed him the phone. A headline read, ‘Y/N dating FBI Agent - What We Know Right Now.’ Under the headline were a few sentences, identifying him, with his age and Bureau status, and a very grainy picture of him leaving her house the week prior. “Oh fuck.” He handed Morgan the phone and leaned against the wall with his head in his hands.
Morgan wasn’t confused anymore, instead turning congratulatory. “Woah! Pretty Boy is dating a world-famous singer! How long has that been going on?” One by one the dominos fell. The entire team was a fan of Y/N, so they all saw the headline fairly quickly and came running to him, asking if it was true.
“Yes, it’s true,” he said, when Garcia, Emily, JJ, Rossi and eventually Hotch came over and asked. “I’m seeing Y/N. Dammit, dammit, dammit.” His phone buzzed and he saw a message from her on the screen.
Baby, I’m so sorry. I don’t know how it happened.
He replied quickly.
I don’t know either. But we both knew this could happen. We’ll handle it.
She sent a happy face emoji back to him, saying how grateful she was to have someone that even if he couldn’t understand personally, he felt for her, and wouldn’t leave because of the lack of privacy. “Why didn’t you tell us?” Hotch asked.
“You as a team or the world? Because this,” he said, grabbing Morgan’s phone in exasperation, “is why!”
“Us,” Hotch said.
Spencer sighed. “Considering you are all fans of her, I’m sure you’re aware of her slightly checkered past. I wasn’t sure how it was going to reflect on the Bureau, so I decided to wait until I was hopelessly in love with her before telling everyone. That way, I probably wouldn’t be forced to choose.” It was faulty logic. But he didn’t care. His head was spinning right now. More coffee was necessary as was an omelet from downstairs.
Hotch clasped him on the shoulder. “You should’ve told us,” he said. “But if the Bureau has an issue, I’ll talk them through it. You love her, don’t you?”
Spencer nodded and started walking to his desk. The rest of the team followed closely behind, asking all kinds of questions; he’d never felt so popular, and honestly, he wasn’t sure how he felt about it. “Three months. We met at a bar. Yes, I’ve slept with her,” he said, pointing to Garcia, Morgan and JJ respectively. “No more questions. I need to think.”
As they walked away from his desk, he heard all of the incredulous whispers about how cool it was that Spencer was dating a celebrity. He knew what Y/N was, but he didn’t see her that way. To him, she was just the beautiful girl with a big voice from a small town outside of DC, with a loving family and two dogs she loved more than anything, even singing.
He sat at his desk combing through every memory he had from the past three months, trying to figure out how the media had figured them out, but he couldn’t think of anything. Eventually, after questions from people he didn’t even work with, and an asshole co-worker who’d dared degrade her to his face, Spencer was finally able to get to work, only taking his phone out a couple hours later to one text message.
Spence, I know this isn’t what you signed up for, so thank you. With my past relationships, it means more than you know.
He smiled softly at the phone. This weekend, he would tell her again - in person - but for now, this felt right.
It’s not what I signed up for, true. But…I kinda love you. So it’s worth it.
A reply came back within seconds.
You kinda love me? I kinda love you too! *kissy face* You have to tell me in person this weekend.
Spencer’s fingers crossed the virtual keyboard at the speed of light.
TITLE: Palimpsest SUMMARY: Disability does not equal tragedy, and love is a promise that endures beyond missing memories. (Set after the episode ‘Oxygen’. Blind!autistic!12th Doctor, Whouffaldi) RATING: T GENRE: Angst / Hurt-Comfort / Humor PAIRING: Whouffaldi (Wait for it…trust me.) LOCATED: FF.net: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12493583/1/Palimpsest AO3: http://archiveofourown.org/works/10938483 (Whouffaldi Forever) and also under the Tumblr cut TRIGGER WARNINGS: Unsanitary moments, food, graphic description of suffocation in a vacuum, eye scream, body horror.
I wanted to play around with blind!12 using a mobility device and being independent. The Doctor losing his sight doesn’t have to be tragic and I don’t think he would see it as such.
This story is an acknowledgement of Face the Raven from the Doctor’s POV, and it’s meant to point towards Every Love Story. That makes it kinda-sorta an AU, yet I wrote it with a “could be canon if you squint” mindset.
Bring tissues, you might need them. Allons-y!
[Still image from the Doctor Who episode Hell Bent. Taken from inside an old-fashioned diner. There is a juke box and red booths on the left-hand side of the photo. On the right-hand side are red stools, the counter, a drink machine and other diner-type knick knacks. The 12th Doctor is outside the glass doors, poised to step inside. He’s carrying his electric guitar and wearing his sonic sunglasses.]
I’m cleaning out my old
stories. This is another of my old ones
when I first started writing wrestling fanfiction, when the SHIELD were still
together. Figured I would throw it on
Tumblr and see what you guys thought
Warning: I should probably put a warning on this. This fic could be triggering. Nothing graphic is written or implied, but the end of the fic is leading in a dark direction that could trigger.
A year ago, I officially began my presence in the Fire Emblem Fates RP community — and here I am, still here, a year later! Only those who have been around for longer than I have remember my old URL KIRAQI — but upon further deepening of Kiragi’s character, was changed to the one I have present day. It’s only been my second experience with a community on Tumblr, my first being in the Osomatsu-san fandom — and I had ditched one of my blogs in said community in favor of Kiragi.
I guess I should start with what I’m thankful for in this introduction. Honestly, there’s a LOT to be thankful for — this community’s kindness, it’s welcome, and the zeal it had ever since I joined to improve many different aspects of myself in the creative aspect. This includes my graphics, writing, musical ability — it’s endless. I joined this community with absolutely no idea how it’d work out — honestly, I thought it would be a lot like the Osomatsu-san community, where the majority of people DREW ANSWERS to asks. I was surprised to find out that the majority of the fandom used their creative writing skills for the most part. I was young — er, younger — when I made the blog, so I had no knowledge of what I was doing, other than the fact that I was here to have fun — I think that’s the most important part to when I joined. As began to roleplay more and more, new glasses were placed upon my face, and I started seeing — well, EVERYTHING differently.
Before this gets too long, I’d like to just say thank you — to YOU. Because it’s likely that if you’re seeing this from my blog, you’re following me — you’re one of those THOUSAND followers that I have accumulated over the past year. Roleplaying is not my priority, as writing in a whole is just a hobby for me, and I always do things in the order and balance that I want — perhaps that’s selfish of me, but this community has allowed me to realize MANY things. Everyone I met was so unique and amazing, and even though I’ve only managed to fully befriend only a fraction of my followers, I cannot wait to see what’s in store for me in the future!
And — oh yes. You didn’t forget, right? Because I didn’t — I told you that I’d make a CELEBRATORY VIDEO. Now, let’s begin this long-ass bias list. | art credit !