someone teach me how to not miss them

2

Threw around some ideas with @nerdaday and gave our favorite gals some matching bezzie mate sweaters 😖

Okay I thought of something and it made me emo so I wanted to share it with you guys too so we can be emo together (that’s what skamily is for) 

You remember this? (well of course you do) 

well this clip just made me realise that this, everything Even is telling Isak that will happen isn’t just something that he thinks will happen because he is depressed. He believes it, because it’s happened before. It has happened with his friends whom he loved so much. 

We don’t know what happened but it is something so bad that not only hurt balloon squad but made Even think they hate him, made Even hate himself and that’s why he was so sure he would always be alone before Isak. Why he thought all he did was ruin things. Because he has before. He has lost everything before. and now it’s threatening to come back and haunt him and he is flipping terrified that whatever he did that was so bad to lose all the people he loves and trust, will take away the one person he loves and trusts now.


This clip broke my heart, because this face? it reminds me of the clip above. All the shame, self-hate, resentment at whatever led to him losing his friends. This face shows just how much he still truly believes that he hurt all his friends enough for them to hate him. He believes it so much that he continues to hate himself for everything he can’t change. He is so ashamed, so terrified of everything that went down with bakka and his closest friends to come back and destroy everything he has built between him and that incident. ugh it’s just. I feel like this clip and this entire storyline is so damn important because it’s proving that everything we saw with Even at the end of s3 hasn’t gone away just because Isak loves him. 

His self hate? the pain, this belief that he doesn’t deserve anyone because he just hurts them and ruins everything? ah god it’s still there and it always will be until he faces everything that created it. And so the bakka storyline is coming up to maybe hopefully push Even in the right direction of healing and finally self love and acceptance because that is what skam is about. 

dealing with everything you are ashamed of about yourself and finding love and acceptance within yourself. For Even that is no longer being ashamed of his past and his illness but accepting that it is a part of him and his story and he is even more strong, beautiful and compassionate because of it. He shouldn’t hate himself for things out of his control, and he shouldn’t be terrified of losing people he loves because of it. He is kind, smart, beautiful, and loved. his illness doesn’t define him. This is everything I wanted from an Even season, and just maybe we’re gonna get it. 

just maybe we’re gonna get to watch someone teach us how to love and accept ourselves again. 

I hope so

Also the fact that he asked about the boys made me want to cry because he so clearly misses them so much and he said it in such a,….sad way? I just I can’t. 

Especially when the boys reaction to Even’s name was this

I just… I want to protect my baby and take away his pain and worries. He still thinks that he is capable of hurting and losing Isak and I truly feel like those feelings are connected to the Balloon squad, who are connected to Sana who is our beautiful main. And that is how we are going to get Even’s self acceptance story after all. 

I’m sorry I told you this was emo. 

10

Well yeah, Wendy would be the least suspected one of the bunch, that’s for sure

I swear I’m never wasting so much time on stupid comics again. Out of all the asks I could’ve used, I chose this one. Someone shoot me please .+:。(ノ・ω・’ )ノ゙

bonus:

how do you expect anyone to suspect her

Clingy

Anon prompt: “Can you do one where the reader and Jughead are already dating and they are super clingy.”

A/N: I’m baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack

“Y/N, you didn’t call me when your class finished.” Jughead says, catching up to me in the halls.

“Because it just finished.” I stop at my locker, opening it to put my books inside and get out another text book for my next class.

“You said you’d call after every class.” He pushes, watching me.

“Jughead,” I close my locker, turning to him. “I told you, it just finished and my phone is swimming in my bag somewhere. I’m sorry.”

He’s leaning against one of the other lockers, staring at me in disbelief, “Look, Y/N, next time just call me, okay?”

“It’s school, Juggie. Nothing bad is going to happen to me at school.”

“You don’t know that.” He says, tilting his head to the side.

Keep reading

Bigbang as dads

T.O.P : cries when baby is born, tells to every MC who asks that it was happiest day of his life. Overprotective worried dad 24/7, panics every time his child cries, wants to beat up that kid that stared at his daughter at the park (it takes two hours for his wife to convince him that three year old boys don’t have evil thoughts) Has like 5 paintings of his daughter cause SHE IS ART duh. Also occasionally becomes tickle monster.

G-Dragon : Buys a shit ton of clothes and toys for his child. Doesn’t answer his managers calls because he is too busy having a tea party with his 3year old, also he is wearing pink dress with wings (cause according to his child every tea party is dumb if it’s without fairy princess), misses awards shows to watch cartoons. Brings out his kid to one of his concerts (fans coo at cuteness of them) Doesn’t get tired of listening to his kid talk for hours. Likes kissing his kid on the cheek.

Taeyang: Tries to convince Hyorin to let kid have dreadlocks. Teaches his kid how to swim. They dance together while he is cooking breakfast for mommy’s bday. Kid absolutely refuses to wear any clothes and Hyorin silently curses her choice to marry someone who takes of his shirt at any occasion (they eventually come to agreement - Youngbae and his child wear matching outfits). Recreates pics and videos of his child on instagram (Gah). Sings lullabies.

Daesung: Tries to be strict dad but fails because his kid’s face covered in lipstick is too funny. Wakes up in the middle of the night to change diapers.
Comforts his child after nightmares by inviting him to sleep in daddy’s and mommy’s bed. Cooks animal shaped pancakes just to see his kid smile. Likes petting his little one’s head. Hosts awesome sleepovers for member’s kids (they all learn look at me, Gwisun dance)

Seungri: Has atleast three kids and is insanely proud of their every achievement. There is a bigger possibility of world ending tommorow than Seungri missing kid’s soccer game or school play. Teaches kids how to do business from early age (after all someone will have to take over his business empire). Sends pics of his children’s trophies to other members.
Gets jealous of Daesung and starts teaching them “the real dance”. Gives best hugs and shoulder pats.

Voltron Fluff Week Day 1: Flower Crowns

Prompt April 10th: Flower Crowns
Read it on AO3 here: http://archiveofourown.org/works/10593486

@voltronprompts

Hunk was very excited to visit a planet that seamed similar to earth. Lance was more open with his emotions than he was. When Allura had told the group that they would land on the planet Mouti for a diplomatic meeting,  the team wasn’t surprised. They had visited many leaders of aliens that were affected by Zarkon’s empire or who could be potential allies should another threat arise.

It wasn’t until Coran pulled up pictures of the land that the paladins started to take interest. The pictures depicted green valleys and beautiful waterfalls. There were stone paths that were wet with water and a faint rainbow could be seen in the background. Lance gasped when he realized that their destination saw rain like earth did. Hunk and Coran each put a hand on Lance’s shoulders. Pidge looked enchanted by the scenary. It had been so long since the team had been able to lie in soft fields and have no stress.

The castle of lions descended in a meadow with the sun shining down on them. Allura led the paladins off the castle to meet King Cahril who waited before them. Lance pushed forward past everyone to get off the ship, but slowed when he realized it hadn’t rained and didn’t look like it would rain any time soon. Hunk was proud of his best friend when Lance kept his smile in place and didn’t let the citizens of Mouti see his disappointment. Although Lance didn’t seem completely heartbroken, his eyes still wide as he took in the planet’s beauty. The paladins gathered around Allura as she spoke with the King. He was a small man, about Pidge’s height. He reminded Hunk of the King of the Arusians. He had light blue skin and six small eyes scattered on his forehead. 

“Welcome Princess Allura. And welcome her Lion Friends.”

“Greetings King Cahril. You have a lovely planet.” Allura spoke. She giggled when she looked to her side to see Lance basking in the sunlight and the warm weather. Keith had taken off his jacket and tied it around his waist.

“Yes, though it’s a shame you came to visit during such unfortunate weather.”

“What do you mean unfortunate weather?” Shiro asked.

“Yeah!” Chirped Lance. “This is awesome.”

“Oh no, there it is again.” King Cahril sighed. A strong breeze blew through the long grass and wildflowers past several Moutis people. Lance payed no mind to the King’s words and turned towards the breeze with his arms held out. The paladins soon understood why the breeze wasn’t welcomed. Instead of refreshing cool air, the breeze was like a mini heat wave. No one could contain their laughter when Lance turned back around looking betrayed and sweating.

Pidge looked around and squeaked when she saw one of the Moutis people fall back to the ground, like he had done a trust fall but no one caught him.

“Yes, the heat from that gust of wind is too much for us small people. Prolonged exposure can lead to fainting.” Pidge still looked as if what the King had said hadn’t comforted her in the slightest.

They were soon led inside the Mouti castle, and the team sighed in relief when they were greeted by cool air again. The paladins stood patiently as the Princess spoke on their behalf in front of the King and the royal court. These kind people seemed happy to work with them to defend the universe from the Galra’s tyranny. The meeting didn’t last long, and soon everyone said goodbye. However, several members of the court insisted that they stay a bit longer to enjoy the beauty of the land since the hot winds seemed to have died down.

Hunk was happy to sit in the tall grass and start tying flowers together into flower crowns. As he worked, he could see his friends roll down a hill not too far away. Shiro disapproved when Pidge had dared Lance to roll down the steep hill, but he didn’t stick around to stop them. Shiro wandered off to find Allura when Lance not only accepted the dare, but challenged Keith to a race. Now Hunk sat, entertained by his friends’ foolishness.

He could also see Shiro, Allura and Coran inspect the flowers of the meadow. Well, Allura and Coran were looking at the flowers. Shiro had his gaze locked on the Princess and seemed incredibly flustered when she stood up and invaded his space to show him a plant. He blushed and excused himself to join Hunk.

Shiro sat next to Hunk with his face in his hands for a minute. Hunk decided to break the silence.

“You could do something sweet to show her you care about her.” Shiro tooked his face out of his hands, his blush still present. “Make her one of these.” Hunk suggested pointing to his head. A crown of yellow flowers rested on his hair and Shiro almost laughed when it looked like Hunk’s crown was stacked on his headband.

“I don’t know how.” Shiro confessed.

“Don’t worry man, I got you.” Hunk replied, gesturing to several other flower crowns he had made. He was happy to help someone out and teach them the art of making flower crowns. When Shiro finished his project, he took a deep breath and brought it over to where Allura stood. He swore that this was one of the times he felt the most nervous in his life.

“Princess, uh I, well Hunk taught me but I made this for you. It’s a flower crown and you have a real one but still. I used those purple flowers that reminded you of Altea and ah, yeah.”

Hunk didn’t miss how Allura’s face turned red to match Shiro’s.

“Thank you Shiro. I love it.”

The yellow paladin smiled as he finished up the last of the flower crowns that he had mad for his friends. He made his way over to Coran to give him his, made of large white flowers similar to Lilies. He tried not to laugh at the ridiculous combination of the crown and Coran’s mustache.

“Pidge! Here!” Pidge grinned and thanked Hunk for the green crown that sat a top her hair.

“Lance, can you give this to Keith?”

Lance nodded. “Sure thing, buddy."  Lance turned and walked towards Keith, who was just joining the group after being left at the bottom of the hill.

"Here, this is for you.” Keith raised an eyebrow. “You know, like, uh here.” Lance stuttered and failed to hide the blush on his cheeks as he placed the crown of red flowers on Keith’s head.

When Lance returned to the group, he wanted to laugh a little at Shiro’s pink crown, but his laughter died when he realized what Hunk had done. He’d made Keith and Lance matching crowns. While the large flowers were the colours of their lions, they were separated by smaller purple ones. Lance shot his best friend a glare, but wore his crown anyway, praying that Keith wouldn’t notice.

Hunk chuckled when Lance punched his arm on the way back to the ship. He wasn’t bothered, not when everyone agreed to take a picture wearing their new accesories using the ships camera.

Missed you (Finn Harries Imagine)

Hi guys! This is the first imagine I’ve written in this account. It’s quite short. Hope you like it!

Word count: 418

Warnings: Fluff I guess?

-

It had been 8 months since you last saw him. 8 months since you last hugged him, kissed him, and touched him. Studying in a different country was hard. It was heart breaking for you and for him. But your relationship was only getting stronger because of the undying trust and loyalty you both have. There have been bumps along the road but you overcame them.

Today was like any other day, you wake up, shower, dress and head to class. At the end of the day you head over to the main school entrance groaning as you see a crowd.

Today was one of the few days you would get to skype with your beloved. If you missed the time, you had to wait for days to match your schedules. Finn is a busy guy, he has his studies and Jacksgap to deal with. All you ever wanted was to be in his arms.

You continued walking and walking and walking. Yells and whispers were heard “She’s coming!” they said. Pushing against people just to be able to go outside. But when you did, you stopped. Balloons were everywhere, a few cameras here and there, people filming, a few vlogging and one person in the middle of it all, a bouquet in his hands and that one cheeky smile you’ve been dying to see in the flesh.

Finn was here.

You collapsed on the floor crying, not being able to believe to see what-who- was there. You sobbed letting out every ounce of frustration, sadness and anger from the past 8 months out of your system.

Someone crouched in front of you.

“Hey there, princess”

That voice, that one voice you loved so much, it was what you always wanted to hear everyday.

You latched on to him for dear life, never wanting to let go. For a good 5 minutes you just hugged him not saying anything. He let go for a moment to look at you.

He gave you the bouquet and held your face in his hands. “Don’t cry, princess, I’m here now.” He wiped your tears, then leaned in.

You didn’t care if anyone saw, you didn’t care what they thought, Finn was here with you. You kissed him back. As soon as you parted,

“I missed you, Finnegan Frayn Harries.”

“I missed you too, beautiful”

  • Memorising history can be hard so try to do this a few weeks prior to your test, exam or final :)
  • Try making flashcards on the topic. Write the major date(s) on the front and write the event/person that was significant to it on the back
  • Make a timeline of major events and highlight significant things that caused major changes
  • Make a mind map of key dates and times, try to mix and match colours for better memorisation of dates. It always helps me because I’m a visual learner :)
  • History has a lot of source analysis, you may want to find primary sources (such as diary entries, photographs or newspapers) and analyse them. Ask your teachers to check them for you, they can always point you in the right direction if you need help.
  • You may want to begin making notes of the facts and try watching some online videos, like Crash Course, to help you get an even better understanding of your topic
  • If you feel confident with your knowledge, try testing yourself with past papers. Past papers are really good because once you do them, you can get an idea of what types of questions might be in your test/exam. This way, you’ll be able to do the hard questions that sometimes stop people from getting full marks.
  • Compare your notes with your classmates, sometimes you may find that you might have missed some important information so it always helps to double-check, you won’t believe how many times this has helped me :)
  • Try to write an essay on the topic. Include the major dates, times and significant events. Ask yourself WHY the event happened and WHAT happened as an aftermath. Always write this in third person perspective.
  • The day before your test or exam, go over your notes and outlines. Rewrite the notes that you have difficulty memorising and repeat them to yourself aloud.
  • I always teach someone else what I’ve learnt, try repeating all the points and dates to yourself in the mirror

Remember, history has a lot of memorisation involved in it. If you feel as if you’re going through your notes and you’re not registering anything, it might be time to take a break. This has happened to me many times because I tried to cram all the information in; and on the test day, I didn’t remember anything so remember: breaks are really important. Take a walk, check social media or just drink some water. Don’t try to memorise everything in one day, it won’t work unless you have a photographic memory. (I tried and failed miserably)

Hopefully these tips will help you, I really hope you ace all your tests :D 

anonymous asked:

Companions react to the sole survivor always having tons of kids drown them in attention whenever they return to Sanctuary Hills because they all see Sole as a parent and Sole sees them as their children. (Like 15 kids)

Okay this has been sitting in my ask box a while so I’d first just like to say sorry bout that. Also, this is a really cute!!! (even though I really do not like children but whatevers, that’s not something we need to get into) And I can totally picture this happening, Sole would totally adopting children left and right in every single settlement until the companions are just like, “You have a problem.”


Hancock: He just chuckled when like ten children all tackled Sole to the ground the last time they visited Sanctuary. “Hey, Sunshine, I think you have something on your shirt,” he spoke into the pile of children on top of Sole. Sole and the children just giggled. (Sole has also forbidden he use (or offer any of them) drugs while they’re around like wtf Hancock what kind of role model are you?!)

Nick: The kids were kinda scared of him at first but after the first time he cracked a really bad joke about Sole not being able to keep up with them, they relaxed a little. Only a little though. It was only after he started telling them stories at night that they actually started to trust him.

Deacon: OKay, but he gets along with them so well. They love him. And they always play Spies and Aliens when they come around. Deacon and half the kids on the Spies team, Sole and half the kids on the Alien team. Deacon, of course, gives them all code names. The current score is: Spies: 4 / Aliens: 3

Maccready: He can’t really complain about it cause he’s pretty much adopted them too. There are even a couple young kids that keep calling him, Dad. (makes him tear up every time, but shhhh) Also….Dad jokes. So. Many. Dad. Jokes.

Codsworth: *mom mode activated* He fusses over them almost as much as he does Sole. He always insists on cooking for them when they visit. If any of them have clothes that need mending, he does that too. They all call him “Cods” though and he’s not quite sure how he feels about that, but has just accepted it at this point.

Dogmeat: !!!!!THE SMALL HUMANS WANT TO PLAY!!!!!!!!

Preston: He’s that parent. That parent that knows nothing about children. Or how to handle them. Every time one of them has a question, he’s just like, “Go ask your mother/father.” And they’re like just like ??????? “I mean [insert Sole’s name here]. You know what I meant, okay!”

Cait: NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE…..Children aren’t exactly her forte. She mostly avoid them. Seeing Sole with them always warms her heart a bit though, not that she’d ever admit that though.

Piper: They’re always full of questions when they see her (they listen to Diamond City radio, they hear things), all of which she answers to best of ability. Sole (the little shit) eggs them on when they have tough questions for her. “Thanks for that, Blue,” she always sighs before going on the answer the question.

Danse: Well there split opinions on him in the Settlement. Half the kids love him to death, the other half don’t care for him at all. There are a surprising amount of arguments on the matter. Which Sole always has to break up using their mom/dad voice. Danse just stands back and lets Sole handle it.

Curie: She teaches them French and science. They even have class and call her Miss Curie. It’s ridiculous. And Sole might just be a little jealous at how fond they are of her. “You’re stealing my children with science and French,” Sole accused her when they were having class one day.

X688: His inner monologue when they surround him after greeting Sole: Nononononononono. Don’t touch me. Leave my gun alone. Don’t touch that. Get off my leg. Why wont sir/ma’am call them off. Why are they giggling. Don’t touch me. What is this nonsense. Someone help.”

Strong: After the initial shock of the whole Super Mutant thing they were actually quite fond of Sole’s companion. They often have to watch out to make sure they don’t get stepped on though (it’s not Strong’s fault, they just happen to be really tiny and he doesn’t notice them all the way down there) One of them even made him a hat (which is now wears every time the go out).

Dear girl with the long blonde hair,

I saw you on the train today. You were reading Pride and Prejudice, and I wondered if it was your first time, or if it was the hundredth time.

You were wearing a long purple skirt and a white tank top. I wondered if you were cold, but I didn’t see goosebumps across your pale skin, so I’m guessing that you weren’t.

As you turned the page, a hint of a smile ghosting across your thin pink lips, I wondered what part you were at. I decided I didn’t care because the look on your face was one I’ve only seen in my wildest dreams before.

I ran my hands down the sides of my legs, wondering what your fingertips would feel like on my skin: would they be soft? Would they be calloused from playing guitar or working with a hammer?

I dropped my book from thinking about it to much and you looked up, our eyes meeting briefly. Your green eyes bore into mine and I swear time stood still. I swear on my life that the heavens opened and the world stopped spinning. I felt my cheeks start to boil and I looked down: I couldn’t brave your eyes.

When I looked back up you had gone back to reading, like the moment didn’t affect you, like it was all in my head.

Maybe it was.

I fiddled with my glasses, pushing them back up my nose, reaching behind my ear and moving them up and down: anything to distract my hands. Anything to distract my thoughts. It didn’t work.

Of course it didn’t work, how could it when you were sitting in front of me, girl with the long blonde hair? I wanted to ask your name, but my voice wedged in my vocal chords and sealed my jaw shut.

I’m not good enough for you anyways.

I’m broken and tattered and my heart is bruised and battered. I couldn’t love you the way you needed to be loved. I couldn’t love you the way I wanted to love you. You see, someone didn’t love me right, so I don’t even know the first thing about right love.

I stared at your golden hair, thinking about what it would look like on a pillow that matched mine in the morning light. Would it reflect onto the walls, the way spun gold should?

What would our life be like, girl with the blonde hair? Could you teach me how to love you? Could our offspring show me what I missed when I was their age? Would we raise them differently than how I was raised? Taught that love is love and who you are inside is worth every sunset and sunrise?

I would give you my bruised and battered heart, but I’m not sure you would want it in this condition.

People must have noticed the way I stared at you: I’m surprised you didn’t. You were so engrossed in how Mr. Darcy treated Elizabeth. I thought about how I would treat you. Would I show you love enough for us to work? Or would we end in a flurry of half truths that were meant to sting and cut and burn?

That’s how I end a lot of my relationships.

But I would treat you differently.

Or would I?

I don’t love myself, so how could you expect me to love you?

As I stared at you, the girl with the long blonde hair on an eight o clock train heading to the heart of the city, I realized that love was something I needed to give myself before I could give you.

When it came time for you to get off, I made myself a promise as I watched you walk to the front, sliding your book into your elephant canvas bag.

The next time I saw you, I would ask your name.

Because the next time I saw you, I would love myself.

Sincerely,

The girl with the short brown hair.

So… I have a situation going on…. my elementary school mates decided to organise a meeting — all cool till then. The thing is someone suggested to do it at a Bowling alley and turns out I don’t even know how to bowl, is that even a word? So far my options are to either impress them with my dance moves (which on instagram I’ve already proved to be hilarious), declare myself ill or insane, and my last option is to find someone to teach me, any volunteers or at least opinions?

love stories N8 (inspired by “woman” by The 1975)

I wrapped my sweater tighter around my body, the wind whipping through my hair as I made my way through the dark streets of London. It was two in the morning, and at the rate this night was going, I would be going home without any cash. My feet were killing me since I hadn’t been able to break these damned heels in yet, and there was a rip in my stocking from where it got caught on a plant outside a pub. 

At the corner there was a smaller, mostly empty pub, and as the wind came through again and bit against my cheeks, I made a split decision and went inside. There weren’t many people inside this particular pub, and part of myself was happy for that. By now, I was exhausted of being around so many people, and just wanted something to drink and to find a damn customer. 

“Whiskey please,” I said to the bartender. I turn around in my seat, giving the pub a once over, trying to figure out if I even had a chance in here. I had limited options, but they were shabby by any means. I held out hope for a guy around my age who was sitting in a corner booth, sipping a pint and looking out the window. 

“Whiskey,” the bartender announced, setting my drink on the bar. I handed him his money and took the whiskey in my hand, turning back around. 

To my surprise, corner booth was looking at me. And not in a passing sort of way, but in the sort of way where he’s thinking about me and looking at my body. It’s a feeling I don’t know if I’ll ever get used to, or for that matter, enjoy. I raised my glass ever so slightly and took a long sip, savoring the burn on my throat. His eyes widened and he gave me a smirk, taking a long sip of his pint in return. Damn it, I’ll take that as a welcome.

I hopped down from the barstool and made my way between the booths to the corner where he was sitting. I slid in across from him, letting my dress ride up as I sat down and not bothering to fix it. He watched me, without embarrassment, which I liked. His gaze was warm on my skin, brown eyes turning over every element of my face. 

“How are you tonight?” He asked. His voice was a bit deeper and just a tad raspy. 

“A bit lonely,” I admit. 

He leaned closer to me, pushing his pint to the side a bit. “Need some company?”

I give him a smile. “Love some.”

He helps me up and slings an arm around my waist, leading me to a cab. He’s young but he’s not stupid, I’ll give him that.

His apartment smelled of smoke and coffee, with a lingering scent of Chinese take-away. He shrugged off the leather jacket he was wearing and tossed it onto a stray table. 

“Make yourself at home,” he said, going into the kitchen. “Are you a tea or coffee kind of girl?”

“Whiskey, if you’ve got it.” He chuckled, and I hear the clink of glasses. “You’re not messing around are you.” He said it as a statement rather than a question, and the trickle of whiskey into a glass warmed my muscles. 

He emerged with the glasses and handed me my whiskey, taking a sip of his tea. “Bedroom?” I asked, and he just shook his head. “Couch then?”

He set down his cup of tea and took my free hand. “I didn’t ask you here to fuck you. I asked you here because you were lonely and so am I, but not because I want someone’s body.” His fingers traced circles in my palm and a shiver ran down my spine. “I just want someone to talk to for a while.”

I raised my eyes to his and nodded. “Okay,” I told him, even though I’ll going to get in a shit ton of trouble with Mike and it’s not like I could afford a night without work. I just wanted to talk to a stranger for a while. Have a cup of tea. Sleep in a bed with someone else, maybe. “I’ll take that tea then.”

He just chuckled and pointed me to his bed. “I’ll meet you in there.”

And he’s true to his word. The only item of clothing I remove is my dress and I immediately replace it with his worn black jumper, and we sip tea in his bed. He strums a guitar that’s laying on the floor and tells me about the girl who decided she couldn’t deal with the ups and downs anymore, and I squeak out details of my job, but avoid the dangerous parts until it’s almost dawn and I’m too tired to care. He listens quietly, his eyes never leaving mine, never dropping below my neck. 

He’s polite and kind, a mixture I never meet anymore. It’s always sleazy and rough in my line of work — those are what make the big bucks. He relieves the bottled up part of my heart, the part of my mind wound tight. I laugh at his stories and we grow closer during the wee hours of the morning until we’re laying down propped up on our elbows, talking softly even though we don’t have to. I’ve missed this closeness, this openness with someone, a perk I had to give up. 

Somehow we weave our way into the territory of our childhoods, and I share but he clams up. I don’t question, I just speak slowly with gaps between my sentences. I wait for him to jump in, and eventually he does. He describes Manchester and his parent’s divorce, his eyes lighting up as he mentions his little brother. I tell him about my baby sister, who’s part of the reason I’m in this job in the first place. How Mum and Dad aren’t in the right mind to make rent and I end up taking Cora home with me some afternoons and I teach her how to be independent. He tells me about his brother and how much he misses him, but how he can’t go home because a part of him feels like if he goes home without anything to show he’s letting them all down. 

There’s something about opening up to a complete stranger that is unlike telling your secrets to a friend. You unloading every problem that resides in the darkest corners of your mind and passing those worries onto someone else. And tonight, the heaviness that lies with me every night in beds across London, every hungry look I’ve received, every time I’ve tried to not focus on the pain and the hurt lessens just a bit. 

By the time it’s light out, he’s strumming a series of chords and scribbling down lyrics while I lay my head back on his pillows. At some point he tucks the covers around me and I fall asleep because in the morning there’s a piece of paper with lyrics and a phone number scribbled on the bottom with the words “I’m sorry; I had to go to work. There’s money on the table because I know you need it. Call me to talk whenever there’s no one else. M.” And I leave his flat with the note tucked into my dress, the jumper folded on his bedspread, an empty cup of tea in the sink, and for the first time, a smile creeping onto my face as the morning sun shines above me.

for more of my writing x

attackingwaffles  asked:

How would Tsukiyama, Urie, all three Kaneki's, Hide, and Ayato do in a bowling alley? I feel like one of them would throw bowl the ball fast but messily

~I’m gonna answer some of Admin Mado’s-Cinnamony-Ass’ drafts, just so that way we keep this blog consistent~

Tsukiyama: Tsukiyama focuses more on his bowling form than actually knocking down pins. His throw is graceful, smooth, controlled…. and always lands in the gutter. 

Urie: Urie would take a bowling game very, very seriously. He might not get perfect scores, but he always wins. There’s no joking from him, and when the lady behind the counter tries to flirt with him, he is oblivious.

Kuro Kaneki: Kuro Kaneki would be lighthearted and joking, excited when someone else gets a strike, comforting during gutter ball tragedies. He gets tongue-tied when he misses a spare, though.

Shiro Kaneki: Shiro Kaneki would be very skilled and manages to get a turkey multiple times. When little kids come up and ask him to teach them how to bowl as well as he does, he abandons his game and goes to hang out with the kids and teach them how to bowl.

Haise: Haise would be very cheerful and wouldn’t stop making puns the whole time, (”oh, spare me your sorrows for missing that pin”) and would purposefully throw gutter balls in order to keep the score close and for everyone to have more fun.

Hide: Hide would throw hard, fast, and into the lane over. His focus was more on looking cool than actually playing the game. Somehow, though, he always manages to score high, even if his bowling ball never seems to land in his own lane.

Ayato: Ayato would try extrememly hard, but would often mess up and get a gutter ball. He would blush and get all flustered, and force his friends to pretend that his slip up never happened. 

If love post-mortems exist, then you won’t even need to dissect my heart to see what’s wrong. Just look at my hands.

See me trying. Because when my palms shake like the land when tectonic plates ride over each other, realise I’m teaching myself how to hold all the planets in my solar system together on my own. If you see my fingers like clams always pressed tightly into a fist, know that it’s my way of trying to forget what it’s like to have someone else’s fingers take up the extra spaces between them.

And though I swear to everyone that I am learning how to stop missing you by unlearning how I loved you first, every time it’s still you I go back to.

—  astagesetforcatastrophe, if love post-mortems exist