someone take this laptop away from me please

anonymous asked:

IWAIZUMI IN A SKIMPY SANTA OUTFIT! OIKAWA WEARING UGLY CHRISTMAS SWEATERS UNIRONICALLY! SHITTY CHRISTMAS PICKUP LINES! "Iwa-chan~" Oikawa purrs, "Wanna have a," he pauses and Iwaizumi can feel his blood pressure rise immediately, "-jolly good time?"

Hahaha, shitty Christmas Pick-up lines! (๑ •ૅω•´๑)

Oiks: Iwa-chan, wanna have a jolly good time?
Iwa: *Doesn’t want to lose* What, you planning to be on the naughty list?
Oiks: Well, you are the reason why Santa creates the naughty list.
Iwa: I am removing you.
Oiks: I don’t mind, as long as I can still be on your to-do list.

I am so sorry. Please take me away now.

DIO is a vampitic bastard that throws dogs into furnaces and kills people because (his father never loved him) he’s a power hungry lunatic. In the victorian era, DIO Brando became the nemesis of the Jonathan Joestar and since then has been a menace to the the Joestar bloodline and the world. I propose that we begin the Stop DIO 2k14 movement. Only Hamon, stands and sunlight are known to effect DIO so if you see this man, report it to your local Joestar. Do NOT try to fight DIO on your own, he will kick your sorry ass. Only a certified Joestar and their companions can effectively engage DIO in combat. Please help spread awareness of this mans heinous crimes. Please reblog to raise awareness.

#stopDIO2k14

***

“OK, little buddy, I know he’s large, but he’s lumbering as shit and you can use that against him. You’ve got speed and you’re agile, use that and don’t let him pin you, he’ll yank your plug out before you can say ‘polished chrome finish’. Remember, float like a drone bot, sting like a tazer. Got that, Calcifer?”

The little toaster leaped forward, straining against the hold Thor had on his plug and throwing out breadcrumbs in his eagerness. The towering fax machine on the other side of the ring rumbled ominously and rocked forwards until its handlers forced it back.

Clint patted Calcifer as Thor gently reeled him back to their corner. “Patience, Calcifer, you shall get your chance to prove your valour.”

“Fuck that.” Leaning in until he was eye to timer with the toaster and placing a hand against his slots, Clint fixed him with a serious look. Calcifer stopped struggling as he spoke to him, voice low. “They think they can beat you just because it squashed that tablet the other week, when everyone knows it fell over its own fat toner. You gonna let a flawed design beat you, Calcifer?” The toaster made a sound like a growl, snapping his lever like he would teeth. “That’s right, you’re going to show these other appliances you take no shit and no prisoners.”

Outside of the ring, Natasha was taking last-minute bets. The odds favoured Calcifer, as reigning champion, but he’d never fought anything larger than something Tony had cannibalised from a scanner, laptop, and the innards of a vending machine, and they’d been hammering the dents out of him for a week afterwards. She caught his eye and nodded, and Clint sat back on his heels. “Alright, nearly go time. You ready to chew on this guys’ wiring?”

Welcome,” Tony’s voice boomed, “ladies, gentlemen, assorted agents, to another night in the Illicit SHIELD Appliance Fighting Ring!

do you think we’ll get a moment when regina just absolutely breaks down? like she’s been told how many times already that emma sacrificed herself for her and her alone? I wonder if we’ll get a moment, where everyone is completely terrified and sleep deprived and just bone tired searching and searching and coming up empty-handed on how to save emma, to get their memories back, and someone (maybe david? idk) tells her once again that emma sacrificed herself for her and regina just loses it. no one believes she can do this, be the new savior, and she just crumbles. all pulsating forehead vein and cracked, hoarse words and maybe even a slam of her hands on a table and then tears. god the tears. the fucking guilt (because you know she’s feeling guilty - it’s regina, queen of self-destruction, and everyone just keeps reminding her that this is her fault), the anger (how could she be so stupid!?), the love. all spilling out and her too tired, too distraught to stop it. then I want snow to come over and I want that to be the moment she tells regina she knows. and then a possible hug and please someone take my too naïve and hopeful wishes away from me. cut them off at the knees.