someone take me out so i can wear my dress

Getting Caught In The Shops...

It doesn’t matter if you’ve been dressing up for years or if you started yesterday; we’ve all had the same fear. The fear that the cashier knows you’re really buying the dress for yourself, that those heels look dangerously your size and not your ‘girlfriends’, that it’s strange that a man would spend ages looking for something simple - as though he was browsing.

Some of us (myself included) have grown out of this fear, but that doesn’t mean we’ve never experienced it, or ever been caught in fact. However, sometimes being caught does more good than bad, but I’ll explain that later.

So, here are some of my favourite tips that I (used to) use to not draw suspicion to myself when looking for dresses/underwear/heels etc:

1. “It’s for my girlfriend” 

The easiest and most common trick in the book, and I feel it doesn’t need that much of an explanation; just pretend it’s for your ‘girlfriend’. This is easier to pull off when you don’t have anyone with you because then they can only imagine what size your ‘girlfriend’ is.


  • Can get away with buying nearly anything, provided you’re alone.
  • Easily believable.


  • Going-on about your ‘girlfriend’ too much will look suspicious.
  • Retail Assistants aren’t stupid. Some will figure out that you and your girlfriend are similar sizes.

2. “Help me I’m stupid and don’t know how to do girl’s clothes”

Another common one, especially useful when browsing. It’s not right to stereotype, but let’s face it some are true, and men very rarely know how to browse for clothes. This is perfect though, as you can simply play the role of a typical man who doesn’t know the difference between peplum and skater. 

First, make sure you write down your measurements and what style of dress/skirt/whatever you want. This will come in useful for later.

Ask a Retail Assistant to help you find a dress/underwear/heels/whatever. Don’t give away too much information at once (who it’s for/their size/what they like), just say you’re looking for a dress/skirt/whatever in a certain colour/style. Chances are the Retail Assistant will ask the extra questions. This is when you pull out your note from earlier with all the details, and simply read it out to them. This all adds to the idea that you have no idea what you’re doing and you’re just doing the shopping for someone else.

Alternative Method: Go in the shop once and take a picture of what you want. Return to the shop later and show the Retail Assistant the picture. They’ll simply assume you’ve been sent on an errand.


  • Much lower risk of getting caught, especially if you do it right.
  • Allows you to browse without risk, plus Retail Assistants generally give good advice.


  • Very time consuming, especially if you already know what you want.
  • Not for the prideful.

3. “Yep, those heels are for me. The dress as well”

Here’s a method which I learnt a long time ago: simply being honest. I’ll walk you through how I discovered how it works:

I was buying a pair of heels with Moon. You might have already guessed that we don’t share the same shoe size (I’m size 9, she’s something like 5) but we were hoping the Sales Assistant wouldn’t notice. Funnily enough when we get to the checkout, the cashier looks at the size and then at Moon’s feet, quickly adding “I think there’s been a mistake, these shoes look way too big for you dear.”

Without missing a beat, and definitely before Moon could speak (because she would definitely try to think of an excuse which most likely wouldn’t make sense) I replied “That’s because they’re for me.”

Sounds like a nightmare right? Being caught trying to buy clothes and getting exposed, horrible right? 


You can make up any story you like, as long as it involves you wearing the clothes. My favourites include:

  • Stag party
  • Genderswap party
  • Charity act

As long as you don’t give specifics, you can get away with it. I’ve even had occasions in the past where Sales Assistants have offered to let me try on the clothes before I buy


  • No lying involved, so suspicion flies out the window.
  • The Sales Assistant can help you more if they know it’s for you.
  • No-one really cares if the dress is for you.


  • Ironically, can take a lot of balls, especially the first time.
  • You might be unlucky and run into someone narrow-minded. This won’t really make a difference except for maybe a snide remark.

Added Bonus: I’m now at a point where I can straight up tell a Sales Assistant I’m buying dresses for myself without feeling the need to explain it.

So What One Do I Use?

Whichever one you feel most comfortable with. I started at 1, moved on to 2 and then eventually got used to 3. It doesn’t really matter as long as you get what you went shopping for. In some shops I’ve genuinely said “I’m a crossdresser, so what’s gonna make me look pretty?”. So far, I’ve had no trouble, just the occasional question.

Sorry again for the lengthy post, but if you need any reason to shop in-person rather than online, just remember that some of the best outfits come from browsing through racks, not webpages. For example:

Everything in that outfit: the dress, the heels, what’s underneath, I bought them all from a shop, not online. It’s one of the my favourite outfits and I would have never got it by simply searching online.

Hope this has helped some of you! Just give it a try once in a while and you’ll get used to shopping the right way!

Any questions? Feel free to drop me a message! :)

-Jessica Blaise x x

a hella long list of random lyric sentence starters
  • "I'm insecure and I care what people think."
  • "We're stressed out."
  • "Wish we could turn back time, to the good ol' days."
  • "Wake up, you need to make money."
  • "You used to make me feel like I could walk on water."
  • "You're the reason why I can't listen to the same songs I used to."
  • "I write songs about you all the time."
  • "I bet I don't run through your mind."
  • "I've given up on you.
  • "It still hurts to know you're not alone."
  • "Lately, my dog's the only one around that listens to my problems."
  • "It's been a lonely year."
  • "I'm just happy being with you."
  • "Quietly, quietly, the two of us are entangled."
  • "You don't realize the way I am."
  • "This silent love leaves a silent scar."
  • "I don't feel anything when I look at your face."
  • "That's nothing compared to what I had done in the past."
  • "Wild horses couldn't drag me away."
  • "You wear those shoes and I will wear that dress."
  • "Please remember me, fondly."
  • "We'll meet again."
  • "Fuck the man."
  • "I heard from someone you're still pretty."
  • "And when the morning came I was ashamed. Only now it seems so silly."
  • "Never meant to last."
  • "An angel kissin' on a sinner."
  • "Girls like girls like boys do."
  • "Always gonna steal your thunder."
  • "Imma take your girl out."
  • "Don't tell me what I feel."
  • "Kissed your girls and made you cry, boys."
  • "Tell me if you feel it, too."
  • "Hello there, the angel from my nightmare."
  • "We can live like Jack and Sally if we want."
  • "I would ask for advice, but I just do what I like."
  • "You're a waste of my time."
  • "I smoke cause I'm stressed. I try to get high, but it gets me depressed."
  • "I've fallen for her, more than once."
  • "My daddy is dead, I've got no man to follow."
  • "And I know that I'm shallow, but why shouldn't I be?"
  • "I don't want any trouble, it just chooses to find me."
  • "I've been thinkin' about fallin' in love."
  • "I've been thinkin' about you."
  • "I’m afraid somebody else might take my place."
  • "All my friends always lie to me."
  • "You’re too mean, I don’t like you."
  • "Fuck you anyway."
  • "You make me wanna scream at the top of my lungs."
  • "You make me wanna die."
  • "Keep on dreaming, don’t stop breathing, fight those demons."
  • "I got a hunger and it won't go away."
  • "I want it all to remind me of the first time."
  • "I think I like you, but it's complicated."
  • "It's always better when we're together."
  • "You look so pretty sleeping next to me."
  • "I belong with no one."
  • "You belong with me."
  • "Run off to school like a good drama queen."
  • "Do you care where you're going, or know where you've been?"
  • "Our faith is placed in second chances."
  • "You're the star of the story you don't care about."
  • "Just a little girl in a bigger world turning upside-down."
  • "You keep it all inside so that nobody knows."
  • "All these boys are thirsty for your outsides."
  • "You never care to ever let the right ones in."
  • "Baby, I'll carry you all the way home."
  • "I just wanna love you, dear."
  • "I understand you, just take my hand."
  • "I found God. I found him in a lover."
  • "He's off to pay his crimes and he's got no time for mine."
  • "It's tearing me apart."
  • "It's ruining everything."
  • "Were you lying all the time?"
  • "Was it just a game to you?"
  • "You know I'm such a fool for you."
  • "You got me wrapped around your finger."
  • "I thought the world of you."
  • "I thought nothing could go wrong, but I was wrong."
  • "It was always me and you."
  • "This body is yours."
  • "Your mess is mine."
  • "Luck be on my side tonight."
  • "You're the reason that I feel so strong."
  • "You still make sense to me."
  • "Boy, look the other way."
  • "That's not the way that friends behave."
  • "I always knew that I would love you from afar."
  • "She's got darling hazel eyes."
  • "It shouldn't come as a surprise."
  • "Why do you go wasting your time on me?"
  • "I'm eager to please."
  • "I'm scared that you’re gonna slip away."
  • "I don’t think she knows how she changed all my plans."
  • "You act like you don't know me."
  • "My god, you tempt my anxious mind."
  • "We are bitter losers, snarling through our smiles."
  • "We are wild."
  • "We’re fucked, but we say that we’re fine."
  • "We long for journeys and the roadside."
  • "Every little thing made me miss you more."
  • "I'm just trying to make a getaway to you, and I'd have gone a thousand miles more."
  • "And I looked at you, you were so damn cute."
  • "I know you're thinking of me."
  • "You're everything that I hoped for."
  • "I'm all the shit that you go for."
  • "Stop kidding yourself now."
  • "I never found a way to let you know."
  • "I also never found a way to let you go."
  • "Right now I’m feeling rough."
  • "Come settle in with me."
  • "I will not open myself up this way again."
  • "Feels like I don't know you."
  • "I've strayed from who it was that you knew."
  • "You were trying to make it work."
  • "You were sleeping in my shirt
  • "Sometimes things don't come full circle."
  • "I was hoping that you cared."
  • "I was distant, I was scared."
  • "There's no way to go back now."
  • "Just love me when you can."
  • "I'll wait patiently."
  • "I'll wake up every day just hoping that you still care."
  • "Surely even I deserve the best."
  • Just when I believe you've changed for good, you go and prove me wrong just like I knew you would."
  • "When I run out of second chances, you give me that look
  • and you're off the hook."
  • "Oh, what am I still doing here?"
  • "It ain't right to just love me when you can."
  • "Slow down, you are out of control."
  • "One of us is right, and one of us is wrong."
  • "It could be so easy if it didn't feel so wrong."
  • "What if I was younger?"
  • "I never should have asked, it was a long time ago."
  • "There's things I wish I knew."
  • "We're a million miles away."
  • "With you, my dear, I'm safe."
  • "You will be gone and I won't see you anymore."
  • "You left my love on the line and said that you were leaving."
  • "I saw you in the arms of someone else."
  • "I cry myself to sleep and you thought I was happy."
  • "I was lonely, had nowhere to go."
  • "I heard that you moved on."
  • "Everything has changed."
  • "Sometimes you've got to bleed to know that you're alive."
  • "The songs on the radio are okay, but my taste in music is your face."
  • "You fell asleep in my car, I drove the whole time."
  • "I heard you were lying about how brave you are.
  • "I heard you were still trying to get back to the start."
  • "I'm gonna miss you."
  • "Gonna miss you, girl, and all of the things we could've done."
  • "I move so fast, how could you be with me?"
  • "I wish you well. All the best."
  • "I spent an hour with you, should I want anything else?"
  • "We were sixteen, maybe less, maybe a little more."
  • "I walked home smiling, I finally had a story to tell."
  • "Time has bridled us both, but I remember you, too."
  • "You confuse me with your riddles and your sudden generosity."
  • "You really shouldn't get this fucked up."
  • "I'm tired of being careful."
  • "Let me under your skin."
  • "Why do I always spill?"
  • "God, I wish I never spoke."
  • "Think I got myself in trouble."
  • "Should've never said the word 'love.'"
  • "I'm sick of all the games I have to play."
  • "I've got your picture, she's got you."
  • "Throw on your dress and put on your doll faces."
  • "Everyone thinks that we're perfect."
  • "Go back to being plastic."
  • "Smile for the picture."
  • "We were too wasted to close the window."
  • "Do you want it? Do you want me?"
  • "You are where I want to be."
  • "I can drive."
  • "Who is she?"
  • "I used to know know to leave the boy behind without having to watch him go."
  • "Going on, my first impression, I recall you wearing white."
  • "There was something sweet in the air, babe, that summer night."
  • "There will always be another time for us to fall in love."
  • "The first times always cut the deepest."
  • "She is something to behold, elegant and bold."
  • "I could easily lose my mind."
  • "The way you kiss me will work each time."
  • "Eyes, innocent and wild, remind me what it's like."
  • "Pulling me back into the flames and I'm burning up again."
  • "I never understood what was at stake."
  • "Well now you've come and gone, I finally worked it out."
  • "I never should have told you."
  • "I never should have let you see inside."
  • "Don't want it troubling your mind. Won't you let it be?"
  • "You cool me down."
  • "Do you love me now?"
  • "I'm not so used to doubt."
  • "Light me up a cigarette and put it in my mouth."
  • "You're the only one that wants me around."
  • "I don't believe in you and I."
  • "I'm not yours anymore."
  • "You're always leaving me behind."
  • "I feel like a fool."
  • "I ain't got nothing left to give."
  • "You are mine, I am yours. Lets not fuck around."
  • "You are the only one."
  • "Yours is the first face that I saw."
  • "I realize that I need you and I wondered if I could come home."
  • "Remember the time you drove all night, just to meet me in the morning."
  • "I thought it was strange, you said everything changed, you felt as if you'd just woke up."
  • "I'm glad I didn't die before I met you."
  • "I don't care, I could go anywhere with you and I'd probably be happy."
  • "Maybe this time is different."
  • "I mean, I really think you like me."
  • "You pull away so easily."
  • "I'm only there so that you're not alone."
  • "So I'm pouring some whiskey, I'm gonna get drunk."
  • "I want a lover I don't have to love."
  • "I'll meet up with the band in the morning."
  • "Love's an excuse to get hurt."
  • "We both go together if one falls down."
  • "I talk out loud like you're still around."
  • "Do I let her sleep or should I wake her up?"
  • "We were lovers in a past life."
  • "I'll make you mine, time after time."
  • "We can keep in touch if that's what you want."
  • "You say I don't have the time for you, but I do."
  • "I am what you need when you can't find it somewhere else."
  • "I am what you want when you don't have anything else."
  • "I came here with a load and it feels so much lighter now I met you."
  • "Honey, you should know that I could never go on without you."
  • "You're the one that I wanted to find."
  • "Anyone who tried to deny you must be out of their mind."
  • "I know it's too late."
  • "I should have given you a reason to stay."
  • "We're not the same, dear, as we used to be."
  • "There was little we could say, and even less that we could do."
  • "Nothing was left for you and me."
  • "Someday you will be loved."
  • "I cannot pretend that I felt any regret."
  • "The memories of me will seem more like bad dreams."
  • "I know your heart belongs to someone you've yet to meet."
  • "You told her that you loved her, but you don't."
  • "She was beautiful, but she didn't mean a thing to me."
  • "I wanted to believe in all the words that I was speaking as we moved together in the dark."
  • "All I see are dark grey clouds in the distance moving closer with every hour."
  • "Was something wrong?"
  • "You're damn right there is, but we can't talk about it now."
  • "No, we can't talk about it now."
  • "One last touch and then you'll go, and we'll pretend that it meant something so much more."
  • "It was vile, and it was cheap."
  • "You are beautiful, but you don't mean a thing to me."

Long Luke Hemmings Imagine


As soon as the plateau descends, me and the other boys take a bow and shout how much we love the fans. Making our way backstage I see Ashton wipe his forehead with a small towel. I look at him and say:

Luke: “What’s the matter?” *smirks*
Ashton: “Damn it’s so hot out there.”
Calum: “It’s not as worst as it back home.”
Ashton: “Yeh but still I’m sweating so much it’s disgusting.”
Luke: “That is pretty disgusting you smell pretty bad too.”
Michael: “Nah mate I think that’s just you.” *chuckles*
Luke: *smirks* “I’m pretty sure we all stink.”
Calum: “I don’t care how I smell, to be honest I’m starving.”
Ashton: “Definitely. We should go out and eat something. We may even run to some hot chicks.”*winks*
Calum: *shrugs* “You never know.”
Luke: “Food to me right now sounds better then girls.”
Michael: “Amen to that.”
Ashton: “Then let us depart.”


Walking out of the venue is so dreadful. Girls are staring at me as if I had something on face and others who dressed up like sluts keep giving me dirty looks. I just want to punch them in the face right now. I’m a bit over dressed because my friend told me we were going clubbing but then surprised me with the concert tickets. She definitely took me by surprise.

You: “Hey [your best friend’s name] my feet are killing me and I’m thirsty as hell.”
Best Friend: “No one told you to wear those shoes.”
You: *gasps* “Um excuse me but who’s the one who told me we were going clubbing?” *look at her with deadly look* “Oh that’s right, you.”
Best Friend: “Well I couldn’t think of anything else and besides you look good.” *winks* 
You: *laughs* “Beauty always comes with a price.”
Best Friend: “True but hey it’s always worth it.”
You: “Eh depends on the situation. Anyway do you know anywhere we can eat that’s open at eleven pm?”
Best Friend: “Well there’s this small pizza parlour not far from here that’s open 24/7 we can there. Plus it’s not that expensive.”
You: “Yes let’s go before I eat you.”
Best Friend: “Woah ok calm down there it’s just three blocks away.”
You: *sighs*


Walking down the streets of this beautiful city, the boys and I find a pizza parlour not to far from the venue. All I see is Ashton and Calum rush towards the doors. Michael’s stomach and mine start to growl when we smell the delicious aroma of baked doe and melted cheese. The place is small, about a four by four. I look at the four seats on the right corner and go sit down. Ashton goes ahead to order two large pepperoni pizzas. Calum waits for him at the counter as Mickey sits beside me.

Michael: *looks at me* “Crowd was insane today.”
Luke: “Yeah it’s crazy that this happened to us and in such little time.”
Michael: “Remember that video when we asked the fans to make us famous? I said, ‘make us famous’.”
Luke: *nods* “And I said ‘yeah that’d be cool’.”
Michael: “That feels like such a long time ago. It was the time when Ash was taller then all of us.”
Luke: “Yeah I don’t even think he was even in the band,” *chuckles* “but it seems now he’s the shortest.”
Ashton: *walking our way and retorts* “I heard that and for the record I’m above average of men heights. Here’s your pizza gentlemen.”
Calum: *walking behind him* “I got the coke. I’ll be back I’m gonna ask for plates and napkins.”
Ashton: “Don’t take too long we’re starving.”

Once Calum comes back, we basically feast. We place the pizzas on the side left side of the table and serve ourselves Coke. I didn’t know how hungry I was until I have one slice and then another, then another. We’re finishing our first pizza as we hear the door open. We all look up and then these two girls walk in.

Ashton: *whistles lightly so that only we can hear* “They’re cute.”

He can’t be more right. The first girl who walks in is wearing one of our merchandise t-shirts with our faces on it and short shorts and white and red converse shoes. The other girl though, is so out of my league that it hurts. She makes me forget that I’m hungry.

Her lips are the colour of a red rose and her eyes are accentuated with the black liquid eyeliner. Her skin is radiating with such a glow. She’s wearing these caramel brown high heel pump wedges that make her legs look so lean but toned at the same time. She has a peach coloured skirt that goes above the waist with a bit of skin showing off between her boustier and skirt. Her boustier has some kind of floral design to match the skirt. Then she has a caramel jacket to match the heels. She doesn’t look too fake, but there’s something so exotic about her that it has me staring at her. I have never seen any girl like that in my life before. She looks our way and starts blushing insanely which is extremely adorable.


I walk inside and all I see are these four boys stuffing their faces with pizza. Going to the counter with my best friend, I turn around to notice it’s actually 5SOS. I blush as I notice them looking at us and get extremely nervous.

You: “Look,” *shows her hands* “I’m shaking I probably look like a mess.”
Bestie: “You look like a mess?” *look at you and whispers venomously* YOU LOOK LIKE A FUCKING TUMBLR MODEL WHILE I’M HERE LOOKING LIKE A HOMELESS PERSON WHO LOVES 5SOS!”
You: *laughs* “I just realized the subway (or metro) doesn’t run after midnight. We need to get our food and leave right away.”
Bestie: *jaw drops to floor* “Who cares about the god damn subway our idols are here right in front of our faces. WE NEED TO MEET THEM.”
You: “Think about it. They’re probably tired and don’t want to hear other screaming fangirls. They’re humans too you know.”
Bestie: *sighs* “Damn it why do you have to be so wise?”
You: *chuckles* “Let’s get our pizza and wave bye to them.”

That’s when I hear one of the boys get out of their seat and make there way towards us. Ashton looks at the man at the counter and smiles with those damn cute dimples.

Ashton: “No need to get them anything they’ll eat with us.”


Mickey with his eyes wide open looks at me and Calum.

Michael: “The little fucker did it. Great I’m going to be a total idiot and goof ball in front of them.”
Calum: *chuckles* “Just chill bro they’re just girls.”
Luke: “Yeah how nervous can you actually be?”

I say that but as soon as Ashton gets up I can feel my mouth getting dry. I can’t stop fidgeting with my leg and my heart starts racing. As they walk towards our table, I try to calm myself as much as I can.


Ashton: *look down shyly* “That’s if you girls want? I don’t mean to intrude on anything or if you want me to leave you alone I…”
You: “I don’t see why not.” *smiles*
Ashton: *smiles* “Perfect by the way I like your shirt.” *points at bestie’s shirt*
Bestie: *squeals* “The concert was amazing I love you guys so much.”
Ashton: “You guys make it worth it.”
Bestie: “Hope this isn’t to forward but can I take a picture with you?”
Ashton: *chuckles* “I’d love to.”

Calum is the next one to come up to us.
Calum: “Hey if you didn’t know names Calum, this guy,” *puts hand on Ashton’s shoulder* “this is my man Ashton.”
You: *giggles* “Pleasure to meet you. I’m [your name] and this is my best friend [bff’s name].”
Calum: “You know you can kill yourselves in those heels.” *states down at your feet*
You: “I think I can manage it. After all it’s not my first time wearing them.” *grins*
Calum: “Did you also go to the concert?”
You: “Yeah I actually love you guys so much. It was a surprise, she told me we were supposedly going clubbing so I got dressed up.”
Calum: “I think she did you a favour. You look great.”
You : *blushes* “Thanks. Do you mind if I took a picture with you?”
Calum: “Sure no problem.”

I take out my phone and get ready to take a selfie with Calum and that’s when I feel someone else beside me. Both Ashton and Calum kiss my cheeks at the same time as I take the picture.

You: “Sneaky boys.” *smirks*
Ashton: “We try we try. Please come sit with us. We’ve still got some pizza.”
You: “Ok.”

I look towards the table and I can feel myself shaking and getting nervous. Approaching Luke makes it even harder to breathe. I think I’m having a heart attack.

Michael: *awkwardly shifts in chair* “Hey there.” *smiles nervously*
Michael: *smiles* “Sure and don’t be a stranger pull up a chair.”
Bestie: *shrieks* 
Ashton: “Please [your name] pull up a chair as well. Don’t be shy.”
You: “Oh right.” *pull up chair and now are next to Ashton*
Calum: “Don’t be so quiet Luke say something.”
Luke: *stutters* “Oh yeah umm hi the name is Luke.”
You: *blushes* “Hi Luke, I’m [your name] and that’s my friend [bestie’s name].”
Luke: “Pretty neat names.” *grins*
Bestie: “Why thank you Luke.” *smiles proudly*
You: “Can someone pass me a plate with pizza?”
Luke: “Um yeah no problem would you like a beverage with that?”
You: *giggles* “Yes please.”
Ashton: “Ok let’s finish this pizza because I’m still hungry.”
You: “Hey Michael can I have a picture with you? I already have one with both Calum and Ashton.”
Michael: “Um yeah sure.” *grins*
Ashton: *faces Mickey* “You and Luke should take the same picture as we did with her. You know to keep it consistently.”
Luke: “What did you guys do?”
Calum: “We both kissed her on the cheek.”
Luke: “Oh.”
You: *notices how uncomfortable Luke is* “You don’t have to we can just-“
Luke: “Nah it sounds good.”
You: *smiles* “Ok.”

I get up to go on the other side of the table. I’m getting my phone ready as I feel Michael and Luke get closer to me. I can literally feel myself shaking because I don’t want to screw this up.


As I approach her, I can smell her sweet scent of cucumber/vanilla fragrance. She smells so good can she not get anymore attractive?

You: “Are you ready boys? On three, 1, 2 and… 3!”

I lean in for her cheek and lightly kiss her.


I take the picture and try acting totally cool. Inside though I’m about to scream and cry tears of joy. I have now officially have a picture with the boys… my boys. Then it completely slips my mind that the subway stops at midnight so I look at the time on my phone a screech.

You: “[bff’s name] it’s like 11:40 we need to leave soon or we’ll never make it for the bus.”
Bestie: *eyes widen* “Oh shit I forgot.”
Luke: *looks at us* “What’s the matter?”
You: “We need to leave before we miss the last bus home.”
Michael: “You’re going to leave so soon? We haven’t even ordered dessert yet.” *winks* 
Ashton: “Hey it’s fine you can crash in our bus if you’d like.”
Bestie: “But don’t you have a concert tomorrow?”
Michael: “We actually have tomorrow off.”
Luke: “Totally forgot about that.”
Ashton: “So will you stay?” *fakes puppy eyes* 
Bestie: *doesn’t hesitate* “Of course we would!”
You: “Um…”
Luke: *stares at you* “It’d be pretty amazing if you can stay.”
You: *gulps* “I don’t see why not just going to let my parents know that I’m sleeping over her house.”
Bestie: “Perfect. Anyone down to get some fresh air?”
Ashton: “Yeah let’s go on a midnight walk.”
Calum: “Sounds like fun.”

Leaving the pizza parlour, I feel the fresh hair hit my face. The breeze feels so nice. The boys and my best friend are already ahead of me and Luke. Luke and I start walking side by side.

Bestie: *shouts* I know the perfect place we can go.”
Ashton: “Lead the way captain.”
Luke: *looks at me* “If we don’t catch up we’ll lose them.”
You: “I’ve been there I know where it and besides,” *grins* “I’m in no rush.” *blushes slightly*
Luke: *smirks* “So do you usually dress like that?”
You: “Like how?”
Luke: “Like that.” *checks you out head to toe*
You: “Nah this is my Ariana Grande inspired look.”
Luke: “Why her put of everyone?”
You: “I love her style. The skater skirts and boustiers are so pretty and I love to match. She’s such a beautiful girl.”
Luke: “She is pretty gorgeous. Not really my type though.”
You: *chuckles* “Why’s that?”
Luke: “Don’t know, she just seem so—-” 
You: “Unreal?”
Luke: *grins* “More like too perfect. I like girls with some faults that—-” 
You: “Looks like a hipster punk rock?”
Luke: “No, what makes you say that?”
You: “I ship you with a girl like that. You know, the fedora with a band shirt and those light blue American Apparel high waste shorts and the black patterned nylons. Oh can’t forget the red lips and the Doc Martins.” *winks*
Luke: *shyly looks at you* “Just kinda want my girl to be down to earth. I don’t care too much—- I mean so much on her looks. Like sure it’d be cool if she dressed like me but as you said ‘girly’ style is nice.”
You: “That’s actually really sweet.”
Luke: *shrugs* 
You: *abruptly says* “Can I hug you?”
Luke: “Wait what?”
You: *awkwardly adds* “Um I’m sorry I didn’t know where that came from I just…”
Luke: *smiles and opens his arms* “Come here I don’t bite.”

I walk towards him and wrap my arms around his body and feel his heart beat against my chest. I feel his arms slip around my waist which makes me shiver. His warmth radiates from his chest and his scent of sweat mixed with cologne fills my nostrils. I feel him squeezing me a bit tighter. I hesitate at first to bury my head into his neck wondering if it’s too much but he seems ok. After that moment I slowly let him go.


I squeeze her a bit as a sign to not let go. I can feel her hesitate to bury her head in my neck. I don’t mind. Actually I want her to… badly. She leans in and I can feel her breath on my neck. That really makes me go crazy. My heart’s pounding against her chest and I can feel my pulse go faster then usual. Before I know it, she’s letting me go.

You: *puts hair behind ear* “We should go before we actually lose them.”
Luke: “We’re walking aren’t we?” *smiles*
You: “Yeah and we aren’t that far.” *smiles*
Luke: “You liked the concert?”
You: “Damn I loved it. Especially your vocals in ‘Heartache on the Big Screen’ that’s my favourite part.”
Luke: *chuckles* “Really?”
You: “Yeah like when you start singing…” *sings chorus of song and starts dancing*
Luke: *laughs* “Don’t think I sound like that.”
You: *retorts* “Sorry I’m not you.”
Luke: *chuckles* “To be honest I don’t think we need another me in the world.”
You: *laughs* “Well there’s apparently 7 people who look like us in the world.”
Luke: “Well then we’re pretty much fucked.”
You: *laughs* “They might look like you, but there’s only one Luke Hemmings.”
Luke: “My grandfather’s name was Luke Hemmings.”
You: “You know what I mean.”
Luke: “Yeah I get. Only one of me, unique weird ass me.”
You: “You’re amazing just the way you are. Yes I just quoted Bruno Mars.” 
Luke: *smirks* “I can say the same.”
You: *blushes* “Well yeah who else do you know bursts into song at midnight who’s completely sober? I mean that’s pretty weird.”
Luke: *chuckles* “No one.”
You: *winks* “Oh look we’re here.”


The pier looks the same as usual. It’s a steady wooden platform that leads to the docks. There’s border like fences on the borderline of the dock. I notice Ashton and Calum attempting to do the Titanic scene on the fence when Jack and Rose are in front of the boat.

Ashton: *dying of laughter already* “AM I FLYING JACK?”
Calum: *laughs even more* “YES ROSE YOU’RE FLYING.”

I start dying of laughter hysterically. I’m losing my breath. Luke starts laughing with me. I notice towards the extension of the dock, I see my best friend with Mickey on the edge with their feet in the water talking. I walk towards the fence where I hold it.

You: “Isn’t the water beautiful? Some times I can just stare and see all the wonders of the world in the ripples of the waves.”
Luke: *raises eyebrow* “Really because all I see is my reflection in the water.”
You: “You have to open your eyes like look at the full moon. The rays of it’s light is hitting the water making it shine like small pieces of diamonds. It’s like imagining a whole different world under. Here come closer, c’mon.”
Luke: *walks and stands beside you* “Do you see everything this way?”
You: “I try. And you feel that?” *breeze hits your face and you open your arms* “You can smell the fresh air. You have to try it. Here,” *grabs his arms and helps him lift them up*
Luke: *chuckles* “Ok now what?” *looks at you*
You: “Now close your eyes and imagine yourself anywhere. It’s such a exhilarating experience.”

He closes his eyes and slowly a small smile appears on his face.
Luke: *nods* “This is actually nice.”
You: “You should try it with a girl one day. It’ll be cute, cheesy yes but nonetheless cute.” *winks* 
Luke: “Ok I feel like I’m part of the Titanic.” *smirks*
You: “I didn’t picture you so much as Rose but it’ll do.” *winks*
Luke: *turns to you* “Oh c’mon I’d make the perfect Rose.”
You: *looks at him* “You wish.” 
Luke: “Like you can be any better.”
You: “Oh I can.” *moves to fence and opens up arms again* “See I already look more like her then you ever will.” *mimics Ashton from before* “Oh Jack, am I flying yet?”
Luke: *stares at you* “You know what? I think I’m starting to get the beauty of the bay.”
You: *raises eyebrow* “Oh really?”
Luke: “Yeh just look over there you see?”
You: “What I don’t see anything?”
Luke: *leans in and points towards the bay* “There’s a boat coming in. It kind of reminds me of some kind of fairy tale. You know, lost boat at sea, sailors hook up with a couple of mermaids.”
You: *laughs* “That’s not what I meant but good try.”
Luke: *puts hands in his pockets* “If this was a fairy tale I’d be that guy eating all the food.”
You: *leans back against fence* “Well they’re the most important character.” *winks*
Luke: “Yeah if only he got the girl at the end it’d be the perfect combination.”
You: “He can if he didn’t eat so much food.” *grins*
Luke: *takes out hands out of pockets and stands in front of you* “But if he didn’t eat, he wouldn’t be in shape for his girl.” 
You: “It’s what in the inside the counts.” *smiles*
Luke: “You know you’re right as cheesy as that sounds.”

He looks down at you and smiles awkwardly before slowly leaning in. His soft lips touch mine sending shivers all around my body. I can feel his lip piercing against my own lips. He slips his arms around my waist pulling me closer towards him. I feel his lips pressing harder against mine as he tilts his head. I’m getting a bit dizzy from so much intensity. I feel his hands tracing the curves up to my breast from my waist. He touches the skin that is exposed which causes me to tremble under his touch from pleasure. He tilts his head and kisses me deeper. This time he raises his right hand to my left cheek and cups it using his palm. He caresses my cheek as he slowly stops kissing me. He leans in for one last kiss as he places a feather light kiss on my lips. He leans back and just smiles at as he let’s go of my cheek. I’m literally breathless like damn.

Luke: “Pretty cheesy also to kiss the girl on the same night you meet her.”
You: *smiles* “This girl doesn’t mind. I love cheesy.”

He grins and leans in until we hear.

Ashton: *whistles* “WOOHOO LUKE GET IT IN MATE.”
Bestie: “Wtf did I miss?”
Luke: *grabs my hand and mimics you* “The beauty of the bay.”
You: *laughs*

When They Discover Tumblr [Jin]
  • Jin: This is weird
  • Jin: So many pictures
  • Jin: TOP sunbaenim! ^^
  • Jin: What's this tag thing?
  • Jin: Can I type my name in here?
  • Jin: Hey pictures of me!
  • Jin: I don't like this picture! Take it down!
  • Jin: Is there a delete button?
  • Jin: Someone photoshopped me shirtless!
  • Jin: Hahaha im wearing a dress!
  • Jin: Ohemgee never ending pictures of me!
  • Jin: Why are you here J-Hope?! Get out of the picture!
  • You: /walks in/ What are you doing?
  • Jin: Jagi help me make a tumblr account about me~ o u o

I woke up on the right side of the bed this morning however I’ve got some DOMS FOR DAYS. Happy but sore. I really want to give the ole home gym a try tonight but it might end up being a night on the couch with Netflix.

I’m wearing one my favorite dresses today! Speaking of clothing, I have A LOT of things I need to give away or get rid of. I need to switch out my winter clothing soon and the fact that I barely touched half the things I have hung up or in my dresser means it’s time to downsize. I’ve been wanting to do this for a while but honestly I just need to just go for it. And make it happen quickly so I don’t regret it. There’s no need to have all that stuff if it’s just collecting dust. Some of it no longer fits, some of it was a clearance impulse buy I never wore so I think it’s time to move on. Plus if I get rid of older things it makes room for new things I might buy. I even need to downsize my workout tees because I’ve been drawn to tank tops vs the 100(exaggeration) muscle tees I have. That’s a whole lot of words to say it’s time to get rid of some things and move on! I get so attached and part of me thinks “how can I get rid of the dress I wore on my first date with Kevin?” But then I realize someone else might find it and wear it on a first date of their own. Wow, I have a real attachment and love for clothing. Send help!!

Throwing in some Finley cuteness to have an even number of photos.

Have a good day my friends!!!

Hold You Down (You/Camila/Lauren)

Hold You Down 


Chapter 2 


A/N: okay so in the last chapter I was supposed to change a few things but I forgot, so instead of being in high school still, I wanted to say you actually in college already, I was supposed to add another sex scene, that’s why you tell Lauren you and Camila had sex a couple of times and I was supposed to let you guys know I was going to explain your ‘situation’ in this chapter and when you told people and what not… and I will do a flashback of you doing your draw my life video just to give a background on your life… one last thing, I may forget sometimes if do or say something in one chapter that may contradict what I do or say in another chapter now I don’t think I’ve done that before but it’s just warning because I always check and I’m sorry for any mistakes(:…. enjoy! 


p.s you will NOT be girly what so ever, I’m kinda basing 'you’ off of this girl who’s a butch lesbian but she is so fucking sexy and she’s my roommate, so I really hope you don’t mind 

Your POV 


After we celebrated, the girls wanted to take me out to a club. They contemplated on changing or not and I prayed they wouldn’t wanna change but of course thought it was necessary. They dragged me all they way back to the house they share so they can change. I waited down stairs until Camila called my name asking me to come to her room.  


“Yeah?” I asked but stopped in my tracks when I saw her, she wearing this dress that hugged her perfectly. 


“Zip me up hun” she said. 


“O- um yeah okay” I stuttered as I shook my head before walking over to her. 


“You look beautifully breath taking my dear” I whisper in her ear as I zipped her up before she turned around and out her hands around my neck. 


“Thanks babe, you are so charming” she say as she lean up and kiss me, I grab her ass and pick her up causing her to moan as she wrap her legs around my waist and I smile into the kiss. 


“I think we can have fun until the others get ready” she smirk and I walk over to close the door.  


“Where at?” I ask her as I unbutton my pants. 


“Right here would be fine, I wanna test you strength” she smile seeing as I was standing up so she just wanted me too fuck her and not use the bed or wall, I slide her dress up to her stomach but when I reach to take panties, I realize she isn’t wearing any which causes me to smirk. 


“You.Are.So.Naughty.” I say as I smack her ass with each word and she use feet to pull my boxers off. 


 "Only for you my love" she smile “God, I want you so fucking bad” she grunt, going from cute to sexy literally in a second, she reach down and grab my cock but before she can put it someone knocks on the door. 


“She still getting ready” I blurt out but the person doesn’t listen as the door is thrown open the second I finish revealing Lauren. 


“Lauren what the fuck!” Camila say to Lauren as she get down. I didn’t freak out when came in because people already know I have a dick so it’s not a secret unless you live under a rock. Camila fix her dress and I pull my pants but when I notice Lauren still hasn’t said anything I look at her and see that she’s staring at my cock and she bite her bottom lip before shaking her head and walking away. 


“Ugh, come on let’s go” Camila groans as she pulls me to the living room. Camila and I sit on the sofa for a few seconds before our hands start roaming and our lips are pressed to together it doesn’t take long for her to straddle me and my hands to find comfort on her ass. We are broking out of our lip lock when Lauren when she screams in our ear that it’s time to go. 


“Seriously Lo” I almost yell. 


“Dude your cock blocking is pissing me off” Camila say as walks to the door. 


“Whatever, you two been all over each other all day an was late to the meeting to have sex, I think you’ve had enough.” she reply to us. 


“I could never get enough of this” Camila say while patting my crotch area and I give her a toothless child like smile and giggles at me as Lauren scoffs and roll her eyes before walking away and Camila and I share a look before shrugging it off. 


We’ve been in the club for about two hours now and having a good ass time. We all danced til we couldn’t dance no more and we got liquor in our system as well. The other girl were to tired to still dance but Lauren didn’t wanna stop, so the girls asked me to stay with until they come back. So that’s why Lauren is dancing on me right now and I swear she made it ten times hotter in this club for me. This wasn’t Lauren first time dancing on me though so it wasn’t a big deal. Like this one time when we were hanging out, it was a chill night I mean I only had on my sports bra and some gym shorts. The other girls was in another room but Lauren and I where in her room having a dance party. We played several songs and danced around, jumping on the bed and fist pumping. Until a more sexual or sensual song came on, Lauren said she wanted to show me how girls be in the club and well she did. She grinded on me the whole time and when she was finish I had a visible boner, Lauren laughed at me and I composed myself. That didn’t happen a lot but it happened.  


I come back to reality when Lauren grab my hands and put them on her waist as she grinds her ass into my crotch. No lie, I love Camila with everything in me and then some but I would be lying my ass off if I said I didn’t wanna fuck Lauren. Of course I wanted to fuck Lauren, I would never actually do it but when she walked past half naked and danced on me I couldn’t help the thoughts that passed through my mind. I shake those thoughts away though, I wasn’t going to do that Camila again, to make it worst Lauren’s her bestfriend.  


So I tell Lauren I’m tired and thankfully she don’t try to stay and she just follow me. We make our way through the crowd and back to the table the girls are at. When we make it to the table the girls are getting up. 


“Hey we were just coming to get you two because we’re ready to go” Normani yells over the music. Camila grabs my hand as we walk out the door and we part ways with the others girls before heading to my apartment. But Lauren doesn’t let go of me when the other girls try to take her away. She holds onto my arm tighter and snuggles it as she whine ’nooo!’ 


“Ughhh just take her with you, she basically sleeping” Ally says in an annoyed voice. 


“What? No!” Camila shouts “Y/N and I had plans for tonight” Camila nudges me to help her out. 


“Ye-yeah we did, big plans” I say. 


“Don’t you two have enough sex-” Dinah starts. 


“Yeah, you two are always doing it.” Normani chimes in. 


“Exactly” a supposedly sleepy Lauren blurts out. 


“Kiss my ass, just bring her” Camila says with aggravation and I could’ve sworn I felt Lauren smile against my arm. 


We make it to the car and put Lauren in before getting to our apartment, I mean my apartment, well you can say our apartment because she basically lives here. Seriously, every time she comes to LA she’s at my apartment, she lives her clothes here, she buys food, she basically gives me an example of what life would be if we lived together. I’m telling you I wouldn’t mind doing this forever, waking up next to her, her making those good ass sandwiches, the sex 24/7, and just the comfortableness I have with her.  


“Babe, go put her on the sofa and I’ll be in the room” Camila says the last part seductively before sucking my bottom lip. 


“O-okay doll” I say a little flustered. 


I go get some blankets and pillows for Lauren and pull out the bed from the sofa. I help take of Lauren shoes before waking her up to give her some painkillers and a snickers. 


“Lauren I know you’re not sleeping so take this” I say to her. 


“Fine” she says and I can’t help but laugh because she pretended to sleeping the whole time. 


“Why did you pretend to be sleep?” I ask her and she leans her head on my shoulder. 


“I missed you Y/N, since we came back you and Camila been having sex all the time” she say, as she says 'sex’ with disgust. 


“I mean I guess but-” I start but Camila cuts me off.  


“Y/N I’m ready” she says peeking her head out the door. 


“Of course” Lauren mutters before laying down “can you at least bring me your headphones” 


“Yeah, hold on” I say, before grabbing my beats out the kitchen and handing them to her “goodnight” I say, Lauren mutters something and wave me off. 


I just shrug it off and head my room, I open the door and for the second time today Camila makes me stop in my tracks. I walk into the room to see Camila in a very short and sexy nurse’s outfit and I walk up to her with the biggest smile on my face. 


“Hey handsome” she smiles “the doctor told me you need some assistance with your dick” she seductively as she rub my hard on. Camila and I only role played once before and we both fucking love it. Camila cups my neck and pull me in for a kiss while she unbutton my pants but before she can pull them down I stop her and she look at me with a confused expression. 


“Let me” I say as I pick her up and she wrap her legs around waist “you always go down on me first” I say laying her down on the bed “but not this time, let me take care you” I kiss her lips before trailing the kisses to her neck “okay?” 


“Okay!” she moan when I suck on her pulse point. I was going to make the girl underneath me feel so special tonight, she always made me feel so good and I needed to start returning the favor, starting tonight. I changed my life for her and I knew one day I would be getting on my knees asking her to spend the rest on her life with me. I just wish I could give her something to show my love and appreciation, that’s when it hits me, I’ll get her a promise ring and give it to her for our one year anniversary in a couple of months but tonight I was going to take my time and love her right. 



Lauren’s POV 


God, I’m so fucking pathetic it’s ridiculous and embarrassing. I’m sitting in Y/N’s living room while she’s in her room with Camila and I already know what they’re doing. They’ve been at it like gorillas since we came back to LA, sneaking off to the restroom when we go out, going into the room when we hang out, just all the time. And yeah I shouldn’t be feeling some type of way ad I wouldn’t be feeling like this if I didn’t like Y/N and Camila knew that. I was the one who told her about Y/N, you see I love watching her videos on YouTube and Vine, I thought she was funny as hell and cute. She was my guilty pleasure and I had a huge crush on her but Camila got her heart and I can’t lie I’m bitter about it, I couldn’t deny it I could see it in their eyes when they look at each other.  


I hear Camila moan out Y/N’s name loud as she tell her to go faster and harder, I roll my eyes and put the headphones on and turning on any song. My mind wandered to when I purposely walked in on them earlier, Y/N’s cock was so hard and I tired my best not to stare but I did. My mouth got watery as thoughts of all the amazing things she could do to me ran through my mind. I turn the music of on my phone go to YouTube, I type in Y/N’s name looking for a certain video, I remember when I first saw this video that’s when I realized I really liked her. I click on her draw my life video and I get comfortable. 


“Hey loves, it’s Y/N obviously don’t know why I said that. Anyways you guys have been asking me over and over again to do a Draw My Life video so hear it is.” 


Okay so my mom had a crush on my sperm donor that’s my father, just a little fyi I rolled my eyes, they had sex it didn’t last long, words from my mother haha, and my dad didn’t stay around but my mom met this other guy who really liked my mom and didn’t mind that she was pregnant. Eight months later, on June 29, 1994 my mommy gave birth to a six pound healthy baby boy, are so she thought. See I was born with a penis so through out my young life my mom and dad dressed me as a boy but then things started to change when I started going through puberty. We went to the doctor and found out I really a girl born with a penis and this throw my whole family for a loop. I hated myself, I thought I was a freak, I even tired to kill myself because I thought I was God’s biggest mistake. One day I was almost successful with suicide but my late grandma walked in on me and called my mom. I cried the whole way to the hospital and I told my mom I will kill myself, I told her didn’t wanna be here. I felt like no one loved me or ever would be able to, I had turned to drugs and everything trying to kill myself. My family put me in rehab and a psych ward, I found out although my condition was rare it was real and there were others like me. I learned that me having a pens was not as terrible as I made it, there are people going through hell and back and probably wish all they had to worry about was being born with and extra appendage. So I started to embrace the real me, now I didn’t start wearing girly clothes are anything but I didn’t let my situation hold me back from living my life.  


I told my friends, the people at school and at first a lost friends and got bullied but it stopped when they realized they couldn’t get to me. I mean how could they? I already had became my own number one bully so them calling me a freak didn’t phase me. Soon people started liking me again and I did forgive the people who left because they only did it to be apart of the in crowd. I played soccer and basketball in middle school and high school, yeah I was popular and I lot of girl liked me. I also was a musical prodigy, I was in the school band and I was pretty much living a good life. 


One day I made YouTube video of me being silly with my friends and it got a good response, people wanted more, so I gave them more. I also made a video telling you guys a had a penis but it wan’t as detailed until now. That same year I was accepted into this performing arts school and I did pretty good. I love singing and playing music more than anything, I love meaning of songs and just they damn thing. 


Recently my grandmother passed away and it killed me, I miss her so much I swear to God. She was my rock and the funniest person ever, I adored her. 


I’m a player, yes I said. I don’t really do relationships because I enjoy being single way too much. So yes I have bitches on top of bitches lol, don’t hate the player hate the game. 


I’m still in school but I’m a senior, whoop whoop Class of 2012. I graduate next month and I got accepted at my number one performing arts college and I’m proud. Hashtag mama I made it, I actually wrote a song like that swear to God. Right now nothing special is happening in my life, I’m still making these videos and I love it. I love that people have accepted me for the freak I am hahaha. No seriously I appreciate it, I love being different and I’m not ashamed of who I am. God made me this way and although I had a problem with it at first, I don’t now. I’ve accepted myself and all my flaws and I honestly never loved myself as much as I do right now.  


Okay so that’s it for this video, you guys are pretty much caught up on everything Y/N 101 and I hope I didn’t disappoint and I honestly don’t care if I did. I love you guys and subscribe, like, comment and peace.“ 


Y/N blow a kiss to the camera before it goes of and yeah I did cry again and I probably will always tear up while watching this video. Just knowing that she tired to kill herself and hated who she was hurts because knowing her and knowing that she really is the most amazing person makes me sad. I’m so glad she didn’t go through with and I could see that she inspire so many people.  


I hear Camila and Y/N moan this time and quickly put some music on and decide to go to sleep, I really need to get over her. Y/N will never be mine, yeah it hurts but it’s true besides I got a boyfriend anyways. 


A/N: so this is long, I’m terribly sorry but how did who guys like this chapter? Yes you are super oblivious to the fact that Lauren likes you. Do you think you’ll actually give Camila a promise ring or nah? I know they are other things I wanna say but I can’t think right now, I hope you guys like this, if you have any ideas I’m welcomed to them and feedback would be lovely…. lastly