someone should write a fic on this

Okay you know you have the ‘cold tiny who gets warmth from giant’ and while that’s all well and good (heck, makes some of the cutest fluff out there), what about overheated tinies? I want a tiny who sweats and feels fatigued, and I want the giant to try their best to help them, be it offer the guy some shade with their shadow, fan them off, relocate them to a cooler area, get the dude a bath, give them a sip from their waterbottle, anything really to help! Just, I need this.

can you imagine if we ever got to see our ladies training together?? picture it.

- a steady green glow emanating from the walls to put kara at a level playing field with the others. 

-alex and sara sparring, both in sports bras and dripping with sweat because neither of them is willing to bow out.

-maggie cheering alex on and telling her to kick sara’s ass.

-sara showing alex some new moves because yeah alex is a total badass, but sara is still a literal assassin.

-and oh jesus. can you imagine the salmon ladder?? alex doing the salmon ladder?! and poor maggie. just drowning in a puddle of her own drool while she watches.

-and then lena walks in because she was helping winn with some science thing and wanted to say hey to kara before she left.

-so she walks in the training room only to be slapped in the face with kara’s shoulders and back muscles flexing while she jumps up the salmon ladder.

-lena literally can’t even form words until she hears maggie walk by and snicker, “breathe, luthor.”

-and kara must’ve heard her come in cuz she jumps down and runs over still panting from the exertion and doesn’t seem to notice the red in lena’s face.

-so she acts cool and says “hi” and “bye” and is almost out the door when she remembers kara can hear her heartbeat and that she wasn’t actually fooling anyone.

-kara blushing as she goes back to training because she knows how hot lena is for her.

-sara coming over like, “so you tap that yet, supergirl?” and kara bumbling like an idiot because how did she know that’s literally all she ever thinks about??

-okay and maggie and alex at the shooting range? competing against each other and alex is furious because, unlike pool, maggie is a total dead shot and keeps. beating. her.

-maggie coming up behind alex all like, “here let me help” and adjusts alex’s arms but when she moves her hands to her waist alex completely loses her focus and misses the target so they just makeout instead.

-sara attempting to show kara how to throw knives but kara would rather just watch her do it so she starts showing off.

-someone having to resuscitate me because i would die.

Writing Problems
  • *types a word and then sees that it has the notorious red squiggly line* you wanna fight Google Docs I know I spelled that shit right"
  •  *types a word and it turns out it is not an actual word* WELL THAT SHOULD BE A WORD"
  • “I wrote the word ‘said’ in my work 124 times FUCK”
  • *makes inhumane screeching noise when someone interrupts my typing midsentence*
  • The blinking cursor of a blank word document
  • *spills beverage on notes*
  • *cat sits on laptop*
  • 'I’m in the middle of writing a good chapter and my laptop is about to die and the charger is on the other side of the room, why is my suffering so real’
  • *stares off into space for upwards of five minutes*
  • 'Am I characterizing a character so well because I know the character or am I writing them as I would write myself’
  • A WILD WRITER’S BLOCK APPEARED
  • “lol who needs sustenance when I’m IN THE  Z O N E
  • Feeling like you will never be able to write well again
  • Feeling relief when you get inspired and write like crazy
  • That feeling of inspiration that makes you shiver and makes your nerves buzz
  • oneshot? more like 'oh-shit-this-morphed-into-a-thirty-chapter-novel'shot
  • *more staring into space*
  • lol what’s dialogue
  • having to pee but can’t because I’m IN THE  Z O N E
  • being IN THE  Z O N E
  • Being OUT OF THE  Z O N E and crying about it
  • comparing myself to other writers (never do OK)
  • switching POV accidentally
  • BLANK WORD DOCUMENT
  • Tenses
  • *stares more intensely into space*
  • *computer starts whirring like crazy* babe I know this writing’s fire but you need to calm down
  • *looks into empty beverage mug* why
  • *sees a cliché* *cringes*
  • will the reader understand what I’m saying here lol I hope so
  • sleep? what’s that lol
  • *thinks about writing while at social events*
  • *gets inspired to write at the most inconvenient of times, such as at the dentist’s or in the shower*
  • *gets zero inspiration when actually has time to write*
  • WRITER’S BLOCK
  • B L A N K  W O R D  D O C U M E N T
  • *stares into space forevermore*
things you should definitely 100% not think about when you think about philip shea (except do because philip shea is perfect and you should always think about him)

- Okay, first of all, don’t think about how Philip was literally almost shot and actually did literally beg for his life for a moment and allowed himself to be scared about that for approximately .5 seconds before sucking it up and remaining seemingly calm for pretty much the rest of the show (except for when he realized tommy and tracey were in danger. because philip shea cares about other people. but once they are gone, he accepts it quickly and moves on. that is philips’ like number one skill. accept and move on. don’t think about why that is).

- Don’t think about how he somehow got to the city in the middle of the night and then didn’t even risk going inside. Don’t think about how he just curled up on the couch outdoors as if this was a common, acceptable place for him to sleep and passed out, alone, after almost being killed.

- Don’t think about how he goes from saying “I’m done. can’t go back, can’t go back there” to accepting he can’t live with him mom again in approximately ten seconds. He doesn’t argue too much about it. Doesn’t beg or plead or threaten to run away. Just says “I know” and gives his mom cigarettes and then sits and comes out to her because she wants to hear nice things about him and to him, lukas liking him back enough to kiss him is a nice thing.

- Don’t think about how when given the opportunity, Philip will sit next to a man who has almost definitely abused him and just do nothing but pretend the guy likes him.

- Don’t think about his honest confusion when he asks “Why not” after Lukas says he didn’t have sex with Rose.

- Don’t think about how Philip is so calm and willing to do or be whatever the person he loves (read: his mom and Lukas) needs him to be. I mean, yes, he tells Lukas no that one time and calls him on his shit other times, but really, overall, the kid is willing to put himself on the line for those he cares about: “Had to be cool for my mom—I can be cool for you to.” “What do you want me to say? I’ll say whatever you want.” Ugh, he just—he tells Lukas not to drink the hand sanitizer but then three seconds later he does the same thing, no questions asked, because Lukas tells him to. Don’t even get me started on the whole Rose debacle.

- Lukas freaks out when Philip hands him a condom, Philip minimizes it and says “It’s okay. it’s okay, it’s fine” coaxes him back down and no more pressure to do anything. Philip tells Lukas he told his mom about them, Lukas says “There’s nothing to say” and Philip just nods quickly, “Okay.” Doesn’t argue. Doesn’t call Lukas on anything. Just says okay and then offers to take Lukas into the city cause he thinks that will help him.

- Philip won’t get Lukas drugs, but he will help Lukas look for things to sell when he asks and go with him to the pawn shop and wait outside while he does it.

- And, like, I’m not saying this to say Philip is a pushover or weak, he’s not- he’s just contained. All the time. He is the stable one. The calm one. He is careful not to push too much. He thinks of solutions and waits to see if they will actually be listened to but is very, very cautious with actually being assertive with his ideas/wants/needs. He is just so much more attuned to everyone else.

- Oh, ALSO, don’t think too much about how Philip overheard Gabe and Helen arguing about him and chose to step out and put himself in that line of fire anyway. He could have just hung back and waited a little. Or, fuck, run off until things cooled down. But Gabe was being yelled at and they were arguing and so he decided to step in. Cause Philip wants to keep everyone happy.

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anonymous asked:

Number 8

8. A “Spin the bottle” kiss


Dex had known this was going to be a disaster going into it. 

It was the last Kegster before midterms and everyone was drinking like it was the end of the world, trying to get as shitfaced as possible in preparation for the next two weeks of all-nighters. Jello shots were demolished, red solo cups littered the floor, and tub juice flowed freely through the Haus. Everyone was buzzed, and even though Dex didn’t normally like to drink too much at parties, he was steadily approaching “tipsy.” 

That was the first mistake. The second was letting Nursey rope him into a game of Spin the Bottle. 

He’d always sucked at games of chance, and now he was going to have to kiss Nursey, who would probably never let him live it down.

“I regret this party, I regret this friendship, and I regret this,” Dex scowled.

“Yeah, but you’re going to have to kiss me anyways. Suck it up, Poindexter.”

“You suck it up.” 

Nursey rolled his eyes, “Jesus Christ, why does everything have to be an ordeal with you?”

Dex could feel the nervous tension in his stomach build, souring the shots he’d let Holster talk him into taking. “Well, why did you force me into playing thi-” 

Nursey’s mouth was enough to get Dex from feeling like he was flustered-tipsy to feeling like he was devastatingly-drunk. He couldn’t even care that Nursey had interrupted him, as long as they stayed exactly where they were and Nursey was pressed warm and soft and insistent and-

Okay, He was pretty sure that was a wolf-whistle. 

He broke them apart. Nursey rolled with it good-naturedly, but his hand didn’t move from Dex’s back. 

“You kiss like a fucking exhibitionist,” Dex said, listing into Nursey’s side against his will. 

“Yeah?” Nursey said, spinning the bottle, then turning to face Dex. “Well you kiss like you liked it.” 

Dex snorted, leaning away from Nursey. “You wish.” 

“Chill, dude.” Nursey said as the bottle slowed to a stop in front of a brunette. He smiled like the cat that caught the canary when she started making her way across their group’s loose, lopsided circle towards him.

Dex got up to fill his drink. If he didn’t come back to the game, that had nothing to do with how much he didn’t want to see Nursey kissing other people.  

Imagine the classic “Dazai and Chuuya fucked each other on a regular basis when Dazai was the mafia and Chuuya had actual feelings for Dazai but Dazai didn’t reciprocate them” trope but one day Chuuya finds out that Dazai’s been sleeping with someone else too and gets really upset and hurt over it and confronts Dazai like “what the fuck Dazai why are you cheating on me?”

And Dazai says that he’s not cheating on Chuuya and that they don’t have a relationship/that their relationship doesn’t mean anything

So to get back at Dazai, Chuuya sleeps with Tachihara. But Tachihara has had a crush on Chuuya for the longest time and he later asks Chuuya to sleep with him again and then the more time Chuuya spends with Tachihara he ends up falling for Tachihara instead and then tells Dazai that he isn’t going to sleep with Dazai anymore

And then Chuuya and Tachihara get together and Dazai is super bitter about it, at first he thinks it’s because he lost his power over Chuuya but he later realizes that he loved Chuuya and misses him but can’t have him anymore bc Chuuya realized that he deserved better and is now with Tachihara, who will actually treat him right

Opportunities

Anon: College Klance, where Keith’s sick but he has a really important test in one of his classes so he goes to class anyway. Keith and Lance happen to have that class together, and normally Lance just tries to ignore the other boy, but the Keith waddles in wearing a big coat, scarf and a wool beanie. It’s like 80 degrees out, so he knows somethings off. Bonus: For Keith being light headed and having to be carried back to his dorm room. (PS Thank you for writing awesome fics)

A/N: So I heard you guys liked pining Lance. Cashing in the bonus, someone should draw Keith in winter gear with the scarf covering his face up to his bright-red nose.


Lance hadn’t noticed the boy before. He hadn’t noticed that mullet hair, or that red jacket, or that little glance they shared when the boy would walk in a minute before class started-

Okay, maybe he’d noticed. But that’s just because the guy sat in front of him in the lecture hall! How could he not look at the way his stupid hair turned up at the ends or the stupid way he twirled his stupid pencil with his stupid nice fingers-

Okay. Maybe he’d done more than notice. Maybe he’d put in some extra effort into trying to see the boy’s name on his test. Maybe he’d lost track of class while watching the boy lazily doodle on his notes. Maybe he’d seen ‘Keith Kogane’ on the list of packages at the front desk of his dorm hall and almost choked. Just maybe, though. Probably not. Definitely not.

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unbreakable

this is just a little spec fic I wrote after tonight’s episode. i’m very sleepy and this is very un-beta-ed, but enjoy!


This wasn’t the first time.

The first time someone had tried to break him.

Physically, mentally, emotionally, he had endured so much in his life, by now he should be numb.

How much easier would it be for him if he just didn’t feel anything anymore?

He had lost track of the days he had spent chained up in this cold, dark room. The hours he was alone were almost harder than Adrian’s visits because the only company he had was the words of his captor echoing in his mind, imprinting themselves as truths, continuing his torture.

Old wounds that had never fully healed had been reopened, not just the ones currently dripping blood all over the concrete he was laying on, but deep emotional ones that had been hastily patched up underneath whatever crisis was more of a priority that year than giving them time to heal. Adrian knew everything about him, knew where to twist the knife to make him scream, to haunt him with memories he had tried to forget.

He knew his teammates were looking for him, knew they wouldn’t stop until they found him, but every minute he spent here made him more afraid that time had run out, that Adrian had gotten to them, one by one, before they got to him.  

The sound of the metal door scraping the floor caused every muscle in his body to tense up in preparation for whatever blow would be delivered to him this time. Would it be the one that finally shattered him?

Lifting his head ever so slightly, he saw in the dim light through his blurred vision a sight that made his breath catch in his throat.  

“Oliver…”

She rushed forward, collapsing to the floor beside him and gently cradling his head in her hands.

“We need to hurry,” John’s voice reached his ears. “Adrian could be back any minute now and we need to get you two on your way.”

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Fics I will never write: 2/?

The Assassin and the Senator

In a time when anyone will do anything to get further, Armitage Hux is highly sought after; a sharpshooter with expert training, steel composure, and little conscious for others, he is one of the most deadly mercenaries in the galaxy. Preferring to remain covert, Hux works outside of distinction, keeping himself limited to underground circles, but when an unknown customer puts up 75 million for a job, Hux cannot refuse, and moves up to the political world where an illustrious senator by the name of Kylo Amidala becomes his next target. However, the assignment proves much more dangerous than Hux ever imagines when after infiltrating the ranks of his guard, the Senator himself takes a decidedly arousing interest in his would-be assassin, knowing much more than he lets on. As Hux is swept up in the enigma that is Kylo Amidala and the two grow closer, the stakes rise higher than ever before, making Hux question: when the time comes, will he be able to pull the trigger?

a patater fic idea that i’ll probably never get around to writing but SOMEONE should:

tater has a big dog like geno’s and he makes an insta account for it and buzzfeed does some sort of ranking of the best celebrity animals’ instagrams and a glorious rivalry between tater’s dog (i wanna name him hank, but i also feel like he’d have some adorable russian name so whatever) and kit purrson is born.

they post pictures that are clearly in dialogue with each other and everyone just eats it up - like kit with an american flag bandana on and then a few hours later, tater’s dog waving the russian flag in its mouth. when kent and tater finally meet face to face again at a game in vegas, tater is all “ahh i must meet cat of yours"and kent takes him home after the game obvi to "meet kit”.

the next morning, tater posts a pic of him cuddling kit to instagram and breaks the internet.

Someone please write me a fic where Person A is a hockey player that rents/plays/practices at the same rink as an elite figure skating school that Person B attends and the hockey team and the figure skaters are always arguing about time slots and hating each other but Person A and Person B fall in love and it becomes like Romeo and Juliet On Ice™

anonymous asked:

Um tell me more about the zimbits IKEA odyssey

Oh my God I had no plan for this y’all read my tags too well

Referencing this post, I just really loved the image of awkward-but-witty Jack Zimmermann becoming hopelessly lost in IKEA after being sent to find the perfect shelving unit or something idk, and he travels through the store on all these wacky adventures.

Meanwhile Bitty is chilling on their new mattress thwarting the advances of the lax bros by beating them all in arm wrestling contests or something. Telemachus is Chowder. 

dirty jenga prompts

send a number + a pairing = get a fic! 

  1. just a peck
  2. kiss for 60 seconds
  3. makeout
  4. give a hickey
  5. trade shirts with another player
  6. truth or dare
  7. drunk stories
  8. do a bodyshot
  9. bite someone’s lip
  10. give a lapdance
  11. lick someone’s neck
  12. slap someone’s ass
  13. 7 minutes in heaven
  14. give a mouth and ice massage until it’s molten
  15. lick whipped cream off body part of their choice
  16. eat chips off someone’s lap
  17. remove one article of clothing
  18. undress someone (one article of clothing of their choice)
  19. take one article of someone’s clothing off with your mouth
  20. get your lips close without touching, hold for 30 seconds
  21. sit in someone’s lap
  22. tie a cherry stem with you tongue
  23. eat a banana without breaking eye contact
  24. suck on someone’s fingers for 30 seconds
  25. whisper something sexy into someone’s ear
  26. never have I ever
  27. go commando
  28. reveal your biggest turn on
  29. twerk for 30 seconds
  30. act out a sex position with someone
  31. talk dirty to them
  32. 2 truths 1 lie
  33. french kiss
  34. kiss their neck
  35. cop a feel
  36. dry hump
  37. do a striptease
  38. fake an orgasm
  39. kiss down their spine
  40. give a hickey to their inner thigh
  41. do what they want, to them
  42. they do what you want, to you
  43. blindfold them, draw again
  44. give a massage
  45. tie their hands together, draw again
  46. reveal your biggest sexual fantasy
  47. perform an activity on someone of another player’s choice
  48. take a shot of tequila off someone
  49. feed someone something with your mouth
  50. make a sex noise
  51. send someone a sexy selfie
  52. pinch someone’s butt
  53. go into the shower together for 5 minutes (clothes optional)
  54. blindfolded, let someone tie you up and give you a lapdance

I think we’ve all seen the timetravel! fic before, the kind where either chat or ladybug go forward/back in time, but im craving a specific scenario where future Chat comes back (and im talking future chat, like mid-thirties) and he’s just delighted by how tiny ladybug is??? like, she’s trying to be all serious, planning ways to return him to his timeline, but he’s just got his chin in his hands, tears in his eyes, absolutely melting over how small his lady is.

(of course in his timeline he and Marinette had been married for ten years now, enough time for her to pop out a few babies, and while Adrien still thought his wife was the most gorgeous goddess to walk the earth, she definitely was no longer 5′ 2″, 115 pounds of willowy limbs and flat stomach.)

future chat keeps scoping ladybug up (much to her chagrin), just losing his mind over her delicate wrists and skinny calves. “I never realized how much smaller you were than me!” he says, clamming up when present chat (who is also quite a shrimp when compared to his older self) arrives on the scene.

commence tiny chat flying at big chat, demanding he release his lady at once. commence big chat easily incapacitating him, telling him his staff technique will need work if he want to properly defend his future wife. commence ladybug throwing herself off the roof as the two boys squeal over the baby pictures future chat keeps in his pocket at all times.

Post 3x08 - On the subject of Iris's crush on Oliver...
  • Barry: Iris?
  • Iris: *distractedly writing article* Hmm?
  • Barry: Am I...hot?
  • Iris: *stops & looks up, stunned & confused for a few seconds* Are you hot? What does that mean?
  • Barry: *shrugs & walks towards her, collapsing on the opposite of the couch she's sitting on* I mean...if someone asked you how to describe me, would you say I was hot? How would you...describe my level of...attractive...ness?
  • Iris: *starts to grin & closes her laptop* Where is this coming from?
  • Barry: *stretches arm across the back of the couch but doesn't meet her eyes* I don't know... When we were just friends, sometimes you said I was cute. You've said I was handsome since we've been dating, but... You've never called me HOT.
  • Iris: *smiles adoringly at him when he finally meets her gaze* You know I find you attractive, Bear. *digs her toes into his pant leg*
  • Barry: No, I know that... It's just, when Oliver-
  • Iris: *laughs* Oh BEAR.
  • Barry: *blushes fiercely & can't look at her*
  • Iris: *crawls over to him, straddles him & kisses him*
  • Barry: *pulls away a moment to catch his breath* Iris-
  • Iris: *puts a finger over his lips so he stops talking* I find you very, VERY hot.

passionate-fiction  asked:

Modern Rowaelin AU in which Aelin and Rowan are waiting in line in the bookstore, she forgot her wallet so he pays for her books and through that they become friends (or something more ;))

“Fuck!”

Rowan glanced to the woman at the register, frantically digging through her purse. Five minutes before closing and they were the last few people in the bookstore.

She was groaning while the cashier looked on with a line between his brow, clearly ready to go home and done with customers for the day.

“I swear I put it back in–” she was explaining quickly, rambling about cleaning out her purse and taking her wallet out and…

Rowan cleared his throat and set down the aisle. “Excuse me.”

The woman whirled to face him. Her hair was thrown up in a quick bun on top of her head, stray threads of white blonde hair falling around her face.

“You seem like you really want that book and it’s almost closing so it’s no problem.” He set his book on top of hers and reached for his wallet in his back pocket.

The cashier only took half a second to respond, probably just glad that he was taking care of it.

The woman, however, started to protest. “You really don’t need to do–”

His eyebrows rose and he nodded to her book the cashier was scanning. “You’re in here three minutes before closing, buying the last book in a series, obviously having rushed over to get it tonight.  I don’t mind.”

She bit her lip, brow furrowing. “You really don’t need to but… thank you.” She watched him hand his card over and then push her book over to her.

“On one condition, though,” he said, still gripping the hardback.

Her blue eyes flicked up to his, worry replaced with curiosity.

A smile spread on Rowan’s face. “When you finish, tell me how it was?”

Title: Better Off Beautiful
Fandom: X-Men
Characters: Peter Maximoff x Reader
Warnings: Self-hatred
Word Count: 1,090
Notes: Request from anon for “Helloooooooooo! I love your blog! I was wondering if you could write a Peter Maximoff fic based off ‘Better Off Dead’ by Sleeping With Sirens where the reader seriously (COMPLETELY) hates herslef and one day Peter just finds a notebook in her room where she has a long-ass list of things to hate about herself? Its a bit weird but could you maybe write this? Tysm!!😙😙” // Always remember that you should work towards loving yourself entirely on your own, rather than wishing for someone to come along and make it so. Everyone is beautiful and perfect in their own way, regardless of the opinions of others. I really hope this fic made you feel a bit better, but please remember that you must love yourself first and foremost. ♥

Originally posted by quicksilver-gifs

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some things people should consider incorporating into mchanzo fic, from someone who grew up in a family where japanese & american culture often clashed:

•hanzo going over to mccree’s place, maybe to meet his family or something. everyone is wearing their shoes inside the house. why the fuck is everyone wearing their shoes inside the house? disgusting

•hanzo going to america and wanting to eat as MUCH steak as possible whenever possible. mccree suggests getting some sushi but hanzo vetoes the idea. he orders steak no matter where he goes, even for breakfast. (beef is super cheap in america compared to japan because we have such a large supply of it here. when my dad’s old buddies from japan visit, they literally always request steak, without exception)

•Americans talk waaay too loudly for hanzo and socializing for long periods of time gives him a headache. they’re mostly friendly, just really loud. and way too touchy-feely. like no, hugging is not an acceptable form of greeting.

•green tea packets are everywhere–hanzo drinks green tea all the time. when he travels places overnight, he takes his tea brewing equipment with him, even to hotels. he refuses to purchase bottled tea; he has to make it himself, or he doesn’t trust it.

•idk if this is true across the board, but the japanese side of my family always refuses to kill household pests. they always catch & release things instead of killing them: spiders, moths, bees, even ants. hanzo is the same way. he gets super angry when mccree squishes an ant, and at first he thinks he’s joking, but he is dead fucking pissed that mccree killed that ant

•natto spread over toast for breakfast. hanzo thinks this is a normal staple meal for people across the globe until he makes it for mccree, who pretends to like it but is actually repulsed. (natto is made of fermented soybeans, smells terrible, but tastes pretty okay if you grow up eating it. it’s definitely an acquired taste)

•a lot of japanese candies have wrappers made of rice paper, so they’re edible. mccree is astonished when hanzo eats a butterscotch candy, plastic wrapping and all, and starts to choke. also, fish flavored candy is pretty common there, much to mccree’s horror. and don’t even get him started on the jumbo 12-inch shrimp flavored crackers hanzo likes so much

•japanese portion sizes are really small compared to american ones. my obasan used to scold me because I would always have 3 or 4 helpings of the food she cooked. hanzo probably scolds mccree too, and has to start cooking more food on the regular because his bf eats so damn much.

•soooo many japanese superstitions. mccree sticks his chopsticks vertically into his rice, only to be lectured by hanzo for inviting the gods of death into his house. hanzo gets shat on by a bird and is surprisingly chill about it because, hey, it’s good luck. another time, hanzo insists mccree shifts his bed around so his head isn’t facing north, just to be safe.

•hanzo always drinks hot water instead of cold water, probably to simulate the experience of drinking green tea when he has no green tea to drink

•hanzo has pictures/statues of buddha all over the place, despite having grown up practicing shinto (this is something my dad does, the only explanation I can think of is that it’s like the japanese version of elf on the shelf. buddha is always watching, so don’t misbehave. mccree catches on and always turns the buddha figures around before engaging in sexy times w/ his bf)

•shamisen music is the only acceptable music. absolutely no country music is allowed

•hanzo is horrified to learn that mccree doesn’t even own a rice cooker. how does he not not own a rice cooker? what does he eat, does he just starve? he doesn’t even have the little frozen rice squares in his freezer. pathetic