someone save this from getting one note

Puppies 101

This was originally going to be about training but ended up being way too technical and I decided to just condense it into a few points I always harp on. 

1. Puppy or Dog

Are you willing to get shit and piss on your carpet? Do you know how to train dogs? Willing to spend more money on vet expenses? No? GET A DOG. There are so many adult dogs rotting away in shelters who are already fixed, house broken, and trained. Get one of them. 


BREEDS ARE IMPORTANT. There, I said it. Yes, it’s “all in how you raise them” but it’s “all in how YOU raise them” because raising a Belgian mal is not the same as raising an American lab or a chihuahua. You need to consider breeds. And this is someone who is 100% pro mutt. I advocate mutts. But knowing what kind of mutt they are is important. Look at this fella. 

ADORABLE! But is he for you? Because I know he’s half husky, half Australian shepherd. Those are both HIGH energy working dogs. That tells he that this boy will probably be a quick learner, easy to train, and a perfect running companion. It also tells he he’ll be prone to anxiety, and if not properly exercised and stimulated he would DESTROY my apartment and that he’ll likely be LOUD.

3. Know What You Want

What’s a dog to you? To some people, a dog is a dog that will play fetch, be derp, and trustworthy companion. To some people, a dog is an adorable cutie who will be by your side 24/7. To some people (and me) a dog is safety, who will protect you if you’re being attacked and will alert you to danger. You HAVE to know what you want because not every dog can be molded into it. That’s why it’s important to….

4. Spend Time With the Puppy You’re considering. 

I don’t mean just having it on your lap. Feed him. See how he behaves around food. Take him outside. How does he act? Move away from him. Move where he can’t see you. What does he do? All of these things you’ll want to know. 

5. Decide the Diet.

Raw or kibble? What kind of kibble? Starting them young will help but in each category you have to know what you’re doing. 

6. Male or Female

It does matter, especially if kept intact (not recommended). Even if not, are you willing to run the chance of your dog humping people or things (female dogs may do this too, but it’s more common in males) and spays are much more invasive than neuters. 


It does not have the cognitive abilities of an adult dog. It CAN’T control its bowls and urine like a adult can. It doesn’t UNDERSTAND like an adult. For fucks sake REMEMBER THAT. DON’T punish them. Put some work in and TRAIN them and yes, at this age, that can be done without punishment. 

8. Tired dogs are good dogs. 

Think about it. If your dog is so exhausted from playing with you, how’s she going to tear up your apartment? But be careful with puppies! They’re growing babies and too much exercise can hurt them. Don’t worry, they’ll also be tired sooner. 

9. Decide the Training and STICK WITH IT

 I recommend clicker training. Seriously, look into it. That being said? I don’t use it because after 5+ years of training dogs professionally I have a vocal repertoire that functions just as well. How does it works as well? Because my ‘yes!’ and ‘sit’ and ‘NO!’ and my others have sounded the same for 5+ years. Consistency, consistency, consistency. Decide how you want to train your dog and STICK TO THAT.

10. Voice. 

Dogs don’t get English. I doubt most English speakers get English. Dogs go on SOUND. If you say ‘sit’ in 10 different tones, your dog is going to have a hard time getting it. Pick one way to to say ‘sit’ and I guarantee your pup will pick it up faster. 

11. Socialize, Socialize, Socialize. 

People. Other dogs. Vacuum. Cats. Trees. Whatever. Don’t overwhelm the little one, but a few minutes in the proximity of all of the above can save you from a lifetime of pain. 

12. Desensitize, desensitize, desensitize. 

Touch the pup. Touch his feet! touch the beans, wiggle the toes, touch the claws. Touch his ears! Touch that nose! WATER!!!! Get the pup in water and reassure him, give him toys to play with. In 5 years when everyone else is struggling to bathe their dogs, trip their nails, and clean their ears, you’ll have no trouble. 

13. YOU

One last note. Whenever I introduce someone to animal training I tell them this:

“You ever seen a toddler fall down, but they don’t start crying until the mom flips out? That’s like training animals. They feed off your energy. If you flip and try to comfort your dog when they see something scary (like a plastic bag) you’re telling them that the plastic bag really IS dangerous. If a horse spooks and you flip out, you’re telling them that YES, they should be afraid! Your puppy will look to you to know what to make of the world and you must be conscious of that. 

Some sick IwaOi headcanons that nobody asked for since I’m still feeling like crap:

  • Two idiots who deny the fact that they are sick to themselves but know the second the other is sick and will nurse them accordingly.
  • Contrary to a lot of hcs, I think that Oikawa would be a more quiet, sulky kind of sick person. If he’s sick, it’s probably because he’s exhausted himself and so he really wouldn’t have the energy to whine. He will argue with you though over his sickness and will deny it at all costs until it’s simply not arguable.
  • Iwaizumi doesn’t even bother arguing with him, either drags him home or piggy-backs him halfway when it’s less likely for people to see him because Oikawa refuses to show his weak side to anyone (except his mother, sister, and Iwaizumi, they are the only exception).
  • Iwaizumi is actually a pretty clingy person when he’s sick. No one expects it (or believes it when Oikawa jokes about it) but Oikawa knows for a fact his friend (boyfriend?) will practically leech onto him, even if he’s burning up with a fever. Mama Iwaizumi says it’s because whenever Iwa was sick as a baby/toddler, she would lay him on her chest and hold him to try and help him feel better. He doesn’t do it with anybody else but her and Oikawa, so she thinks it’s because Oikawa exudes a similar type of comfort to Iwaizumi that he remembers from babyhood. 
  • Continuing on with that, Iwaizumi likes to lay on Oikawa’s chest if he does latch on. He’s not comfortable unless he can hear the rhythmic beat of his heart.
  • I know it’s pretty fun to joke about either of them having a lack of cooking skills, but seriously, I think they can at least handle the basics enough that when the other is sick (and a parent isn’t around or they are off at Uni or something) the non-sick person is able to handle at least a simple soup or some rice porridge.
  • Oikawa is a big mama’s boy and does love it when his mother comes in to check on him and will sit down and brush through his hair with her fingers. When they go onto Uni, Iwaizumi also tries to do this for him and Oikawa really appreciates it.
  • It’s very rare that they are sick at the same time, but if it does happen they both sort of take turns as best they can to take care of the other.
  • Also, before they establish a relationship, it’s sort of an unspoken agreement that whoever is sick gets joined in bed by the other. (If they are both sick, the just huddle up together in either of their rooms.)
  • Iwaizumi will carry Oikawa out to the couch so he can huddle up and watch movies when he’s sick. He will watch them on the couch with him too, or at least stay in the room with him while working on homework.
  • Iwaizumi gets really bad chest-colds and Oikawa will put vapor rub on his chest even though he can’t stand the smell just so Iwaizumi can breathe a little better.
  • Oikawa gets sore throats often and Iwaizumi will go out and buy him a slushy or popsicle because it makes him feel better. He will also go look for Oikawa’s expensive, frilly tea so he can brew him some whenever Oikawa is feeling especially bad.
  • Oikawa does not handle throwing up well. He finds it incredibly gross and the feeling to be suffocating which always makes him panic a little and sometimes turn into a sobbing mess. Iwaizumi will always push his hair back with a headband and sit on the bathroom floor with him, rubbing his back and trying to keep him calm by talking with him.
  • Iwaizumi gets pretty delusional with a fever and will start babbling about the craziest things. Oikawa finds it cute, though he feels bad he’s sick, and he tries to answer back as much as he can because Iwaizumi likes to have someone to talk to. It’s more grounding for him in his mind and keeps him from feeling shitty and lonely.
  • Oikawa is notorious for getting sick after finals. He just goes through days of none stop studying, a habit Iwaizumi has never been able to break as much as he’s tried, and will essentially collapse after. Iwaizumi always nurses him better while gently scolding him.  
  • They will go and get notes for each other if one misses a day of classes. They will just grab the others phone, text the classmates saved in there and go copy down notes so the sick one won’t fall too far behind. Sometimes they even sit in the class for the other if the professor allows it.
  • Double standard Iwaizumi who will smooch Oikawa all he wants while Oikawa’s sick despite any protest just to prove that he won’t catch it. But will not by any means let Oikawa kiss him if he catches anything. Oikawa gets super pouty about that and complains every time.
  • After sick spells, they will always take the other out and treat the other to whatever food they are craving. It’s there silent way of saying, “I’m glad that you are better, please continue to take care of yourself.”

I have tons more, but this is long already so I might make a separate post another day.

|| ♤ ||

||happy belated birthday, spade ♤||

**dont repost this story**


Peter always found it to be a challenge to surprise his girlfriend, [Full Name], on her birthday.

Seemingly born with observational skills that could even put Batman to shame, to say it was difficult to surprise [Name] was a huge understatement. As Peter lay in bed with just about a week until his beloved’s birthday, he thought back to the years he had tried to surprise her, only to have it ruined each time within seconds.

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Got7 Badboy!au relationship focus (Mark, Jinyoung, Jackson)


-          So people have sort of a suspicion about him

-          They have a suspicion that he’s actually kind of soft

-          Because yes, he dresses like a badboy, and he hangs out with the badboys, and he sometimes does that smoldery thing and all

-          But then he also giggles like the really cute college aged boy version of a middle school girl giggle

-          And he also has a dog, and it’s a golden retriever. Not a pitbull or a rotweiler or a german shepherd

-          A sweet, (kind of slobbery), smiley, soft golden retriever that’s trained really well and doesn’t need a leash

-          So you’d seen him around a fair bit, but you’d never talked to him and you weren’t quite sure what to think of him

-          But then he was out walking his dog around the block and apparently you guys live in the same block because you were chillin’ on a bench eatin’ food and flippin’ through ya phone

-          And then suddenly this big ol’ golden retriever prances up to you, tongue lolling and starts sniffing you and you’re like 😃 😃 😃 because dogs

-          And so you’re petting it and fluffing around it’s neck and it’s super happy while you look up to try and see if the owner is anywhere nearby

-          And then what do your pretty eyes see but MARK jogging up towards you and your eyes meet and he looks down at his feet while he’s jogging like immediately and you’ve never seen him up close before but now you do and your brain is like ‘wooooow’ and your eyes are like ‘wooooow’ and you’re just …. ‘wooooow’ (bc lbr, is there a single person on this planet who can see Mark Tuan for the first time and not be all like ‘woooow?” No. There is not.)

-          And once he reaches you he shoves his hands in his pockets and says ‘Sorry about that, normally he behaves but sometimes he just runs off like this sometimes if he sees someone he likes.’

-          And you laugh and you’re all like ‘no problem, he’s great’ and you’re smiling because this dog is just the sweetest thing and Mark think’s it’s adorable. And you say ‘I actually didn’t even know you had a dog.’

-          And he looks up kind of confused and you mentally facepalm because you two don’t actually know each other you just see him around at school and stuff, so why on earth would you know that but you say ‘oh, I’ve.. seen you around sometimes but never with this guy’ and you go back to ruffling up his fur

-          ‘oh’ and he giggles and it’s adorable

-          So you two talk a little bit, just small talk, and it’s a little shy and strange but sort of that nice kind of shy conversation where it’s a little weird but like a cute weird, not a bad weird, and you two are kind of okay with that

-          And you see him around more often with the dog and every time you do, you both talk because THE DOG, it’s ALL about the dog, no other reason that you two would want talk other than JUST for you to pet the dog… 😉

-          And then eventually one of those dog petting moments, he’s quiet for a second and then he’s like ‘Do you, maybe, wanna go out some time just us? I mean, I can bring this guy too if you want of course, but… I was thinking maybe it would be nice to… yeah…’

-          And you’re like ‘yeah, that sounds great’ so you two exchange numbers and then eventually he takes you to a diner type place for lunch and you get burgers and fries and milkshakes and while you two were walking there, he held your hand and both of you got all blushy and from that point on he always held your hand, like letting him do that was a mistake, you’re now short one hand for the rest of your life because he’s always holding it

-          And you guys talk and laugh for the whole date and then when he walks you back to your place, you kiss him on the cheek and he just

-          He dies, okay

-          But like happy dies. Like he smiles and squeals and blushes to death and it’s the most adorable thing

-          This was long, sorry not sorry, he’s too cute my fingers just went, they wouldn’t stop typing


-          Badboy

-          Actual badboy

-          Flirts with literally everyone

-          Everyone

-          Got a sister? He winked at her yesterday. Got great grandparents in their 90’s? Pickup lines for days? Your dog? He brought it a rose and asked for its number after school today

-          He doesn’t actually date much, he just likes making people blush and maybe he just likes girls a little too much..?

-          He’s not a heart breaker, everyone knows how he is, but he’s always single

-          Parents hate him and teachers kind of hate him because he spends class making their girl students swoon and throwing loose smirks around the room while he kicks back in his chair and chews gum IN CLASS what a baddie

-          So the first time he sees you, he’s all feet kicked up, chewing gum in the back of class and you walk in a tad late and he sees you and he stops chewing for a second and just watches you sit down

-          And you can feel him staring at you but you make a point of not looking because ain’t nobody got time for no shameless flirt like that

-          And then when class ends, he gets out before you and as he passes your desk he kind of clucks his tongue…? You know what I mean? He just makes that clicky sound thing… and says ‘hey, cutie’ as he walks out and just leaves and all the girls just swoon and rose pedals just fall from the rafters and he’s ridiculous okay. He’s ridiculous. But it’s kind of amusing and he’s so smooth about being ridiculous that you can’t help but smirk a little bit but you also 99% keep it together

-          And you know how he is because you’ve heard of him, so that helps

-          So that’s how it goes for the next few months, he does his thing and you keep it together like 99% of the way

-          And honestly, he’s kind of intrigued because you aren’t rude to him, sometimes you banter back at him, and you’ll afford him a snort every once in a while, but you definitely don’t seem like you’re at all taken with him

-          So your friends start noticing that he’s stopped being that way so much with other people and tends to focus his energy on you most of the time and they tell you that so you start paying attention to it and you’re like ‘huh… they’re kind of right’

-          And honestly, you’re a little more taken with him then you let on because yeah he’s cute but he’s also actually really gentlemanly when he’s not being completely shameless. Like he holds the door for everyone, and he’ll actually take notes in class for a change if someone he knows is absent so that he can keep them up to speed, and once you saw him save a frog on the sidewalk from getting walked on, so that was kind of weird but also sweet I guess…?

-          One day, you were absent from school because you hadn’t been feeling well, and when you went back the next day, Jinyoung went to your desk and was like ‘Hey, you okay? You weren’t here yesterday’ (thanks for stating the obvious, Jinyoung, props)

-          And you snort ‘did you miss staring at the back of my head all class like you usually do?’ You joke, because both of you know he does that and he literally doesn’t give a flip so he’s not even shaken at all

-          ‘Well yes, I did, and I was also a little worried. I know you care a lot about your grades so its unusual for you to miss.”

-          And you actually blush a little because he was genuinely concerned, but you’re like ‘oh.. yeah, I’m okay, I was just a little sick but it’s better now.’

-          ‘Good. Here, I took notes for you so you wouldn’t miss anything. And there’s an exam coming up this Friday, do you want to study for it together?’

-          ‘Since when do you study for school?’

-          ‘Well, I was actually thinking we could study pinball at the arcade down the road and get dinner after, but if you want to study for the exam then that works too’ He smirked and in your head you were like hold up, is he asking me out…? He doesn’t go on dates…

-          But then you laughed a little and just said ‘How about we study for the exam for an hour and then study pinball after’ and he smiles really big and says he’ll drive you to the library after school

-          And at this point he’s 100% stopped flirting with everyone else but you, and he’s really sweet and helpful, and sensitive, all the time and the two of you start going out regularly so your kind of a thing and people are confused because what? He’s actually a perfect boyfriend? No one saw this coming, including you and yet here you are, sitting on your couch leaning into his shoulder with your mom cooking dinner in the other room, and his arm is over your shoulder and he kisses your temple before going back to helping you study for your bio exam tomorrow


-          Class clown type of badboy

-          Wears the get up and goofs off, doesn’t really act too much like a badboy, just likes to go out and have fun with his friends at night a lot in pretty harmless ways, but he looks it and he’s hard not to notice so he gets labelled like that.

-          Legit though, he’s just a really wholesome person deep down

-          Loves his mama, and his whole family for that matter

-          Puts some effort into school and helps out around the house before he goes out after dinner with the bros

-          Very laugh, much jokester

-          This is probs why some of the older generation and the more uptight people at the school and around town don’t particularly like him

-          But he takes a bit of a liking to you from afar because you seem like a really good person but also kind of spunky and like to have a good time

-          And you have a great laugh, so he does his best to bring that out in class

-          So one time he leans over his desk and whispers a sort of inside joke with the students about the professor and you cant help but laugh out loud for a sec before your hand shoots over your mouth to stop you

-          But it’s too late, the professor already noticed

-          ‘Something you’d like to share with the class?’

-          ‘No, sir, I’m really sorry’

-          And he kind of gives you a look but lets you off because normally you’re a good student

-          So after class, you turn to him when you walk out and slap his arm (even though you barely know him because you never talk, you’re just classmates) and you’re like “What was that for?! Are you trying to get me in trouble?” And you scowl at him even though the joke was funny because you’d prefer your teachers to continue liking you

-          “Sorry, I didn’t mean to get you in trouble.”

-          “Then don’t next time.”

-          “Well, can I make it up to you by buying you an ice cream after school?” and he wiggles his eyebrows at you and smiles that really goofy smile

-          And you’re a little off balance now because wut, that was so sudden, but you manage a frown in spite of yourself (because yes, you’d love to say yes because you’ve seen how fantastic he usually is in spite of his reputation, but he’s not getting off quite that easy)

-          “No.” you look at him from under scrunched eyebrows, and he looked a little taken aback, and kind of sad, and a little awkward now

-          And you felt bad because you wanted to, so you kind of look down bashfully at the floor and say “But maybe if you asked me later when I’m not mad… I might be kind of okay with it.”

-          And you don’t look up but you can just feel the air around you light up with his warm smirk

-          “Ooooh. Okay. Sooo, would that be…. Like… tomorrow morning then?”

-          “I don’t know.”

-          “You’re going to make this hard for me, aren’t you?”

-          “Yep.”

-          “Well I’ll see you tomorrow morning then!” He said before prancing off down the hall while tried and failed to hide your smile as you watched him go.

-          So the next morning, he walks up to you and leans against your locker all suave like

-          “So I know this might come as a bit of a shock to you, and I don’t want you to be swept off of your feet so much that you fall over, so I’d like to give you fair warning. Are you ready?”

-          “Shoot”

-          “Can I buy you ice cream after school?”

-          And you smirk and think to yourself for a minute, and then decide to have a little more fun with him

-          “Well, I’m still a little mad, but almost there.”

-          So his face takes on a dramatic sort of look as if he’s about to start spouting poetry, and he takes your hand and holds it like he’s a prince and he says ‘Fair maiden, thy beauty enchants me so, the way in which thou rockest thy jeans and thy ever on fleek winged eyeliner hast taken my heart hostage.”

-          You smirk blankly at him all like “mmHMMMmmmm.” And you two just keep staring at each other, you like nah, try harder and him trying to gage your reaction. And when he picks up on that yes, you found it amusing, but no, not thereyet, he just says so casually as if he’s commenting on the weather “When you really laugh, like full on laugh, you crinkle your nose a lot and you don’t like it so you try to hide it a lot and I don’t know if you do it on purpose, but you should stop because I think it’s cool.”

-          And you’re like oh. OH.

-          And he can tell because now all of a sudden you’re bashful

-          So you say “Are you driving?”

-          “Yep.”

-          “I’ll meet you at the front doors after class.”

-          And he smiles and says ‘bye cutie’ before he leaves

-          So after that you guys are just dating. It’s just official, you’re together

-          And you have a great time all the time and he’s always making him laugh and you’re always making him laugh and there’s this fantastic, continuous banter between the two of you

-          And he throws his arm over your shoulder when he walks up behind you, and he pokes your sides a lot because he likes to bother you but then you smash his face with a pillow so that’s great too

-          And you guys are just those ultimate playful besties/old married couple type of thing and honestly it’s the funnest ever, but you also tell each other everything and lean on each other and trust each other completely so it’s just the best in SOOO many ways

The Salt Must Flow

I wasn’t going to make this post because 1)I’m opening myself up for some Discourse™ 2)It’s going to take forever to write. But whatever, I’m salty as fuck right now for lots of more important real life reasons so I’m just going to spread it around on this.

ANYHOW. This post is my longass response to seeing comments like “I don’t understand why people ship Desus, they’ve had zero meaningful interaction” or “Desus shippers are all straight girls who want to watch two guys make out, there’s absolutely no other reason” and then in the very next sentence say “Anyway, Jesus is going to get with Aaron, the fact that you don’t ship this 110% canon ship is just because you fetishize gay men :)“

So I’d thought I’d explain, with visual aids, why I prefer Jesus & Daryl to Jesus & Aaron at this particular point in time. Warning for length, my god did I ramble on, what is wrong with me.

Keep reading


Pairing: Bucky x Reader

Word Count: 2,100

Request: Bucky imagine where this fellow agent (someone who isn’t a part of The Avengers) keeps flirting with y/n and trying to get her out on dates, touching her. Bucky doesn’t know about the guy because the guy threatens y/n that she will be hurt if she tells Bucky. One night at a party, y/n and Bucky are at one of Tony’s parties, and the guy starts hurting you while Bucky goes to the bathroom. Steve then tells Bucky everything so Bucky, pissed off, possessive, and jealous, saves you from the man.

Warnings: Swearing, mild violence, harassment, fluff

Author’s Note: This was a little tricky for me to write. I actually discussed this with @cartoncitodeleche and @ninjaliciousgeek while in Austin to try and make it as realistic as possible. Too many times I see the reader being written as either a damsel or Natasha Romanoff 2.0, and I wanted it to be more relatable because I know plenty of strong, capable women who sometimes just freeze up when being harassed or are unsure of how to handle it and that’s not necessarily a reflection of their strength. And thank you to @murielweathers for helping me edit this!

Originally posted by sebuttianstans

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Are you someone who takes lots of notes from books or hand-outs, etc?

Do yourself a massive favour and get someting like this:

A book stand - primarily made for cookbooks, but they are so helpful.

It holds anything - chunky textbooks, pamphlets, notebooks, my iPad sits really nicely in it too.  Mine is is adjustable to three levels of tilt, and folds flat for storage if you need to save space. It was also less than £7!

(This one was called ‘Kitchen Craft Adjustable Folding Recipe Book Holder’)

I’ve only been using it a few days, but my neck and shoulders hurt less from leaning forwards to read my badly-propped up books, and note-taking is loads easier. I really recommend getting one.

anonymous asked:

Hi! Why is Taylor Nicole Dean bad? Like, i don't own fish or plan on it. I just find her entertaining and informative, but my only involvement is YT and nothing else. Does she give misinformation??? It's okay if you don't wanna answer because this might be a meaty question. (Asking because of the Jenna Marbles post)

tnd supports betta sororities.  she made a dismissive comment about them telling people to do their own research on it but that her’s was Fine, which is No Offense, super fucking dumb because that is what everyone says about their sorority up until it crashes.  it’s dangerous anthropomorphism, betta are not humans and will not express stress or aggression in a way that is always identifiable to people who don’t know(or care) what to look for… nor do they desire companionship, especially in the form of other betta.

she impulse buys pets.  like literally every fucking week.  she’s said she can do it “because it’s her job”.  that’s well and good if she can keep up with their needs(she doesnt. and she’s one person, with like 6 snakes, several aquariums, several lizards, a mouse, multiple hedgehogs, 2 dogs…. it’s just not sustainable) but it’s an AWFUL example for her younger viewers(and most of them are kids).  

she also plans on moving to CA soon, but keeps buying sensitive animals anyway.

she is keeping her cowfish in a 125-150g [overstocked]tank(i don’t remember the exact gallonage, but its sub par), she mentioned that she’d upgrade the tank eventually… but it’s still an issue because the bare minimum for cowfish should really be 300+ gallons.

she is supportive of and makes videos with brian barczyk, a literal animal abuser.  i don’t feel secure enough in my knowledge of reptiles to list the things wrong with him, so please read this

once again, DANGEROUS anthropomorphism.  she made a video taking her blue tongued skink around to different pet stores and calling it her dog, that is a lot of handling, and a lot of stress attributed to being away from it’s enclosure for so long.  just because the skink wasnt struggling doesn’t mean it wasn’t VERY stressed, and believe me it was.

she drove several of her animals with her to vidcon and let fans handle them at a meet and greet and then drove them back.  she said “they weren’t stressed at all!”  which is… just a lie… or plain ignorance.

there’s tons more but this is just off the top of my head and really if this isn’t enough to turn someone off of her content, i’m really not sure what listing even more issues would do.

also im really not interested in getting in a debate over whether tnd is Good Content or not with anyone

edit: one other thing i find important to note: she bought 80 turtles illegally from a dude on the side of the road to… “save them”… she actively paid money to an illegal vendor on the street…. selling turtles… illegally.  the turtles were fine and given to a sanctuary but… still.

The Charade

(gif credit to the creators)

Part Four

Master List

Pairing: Misha x OFC / Jensen x OFC
Word Count: 1,815
Warnings: language, mentions of domestic abuse
A/N: Here’s part four of mine and Nicole’s (@iwantthedean) collab! Hope you guys like it! Anyway, feedback for this is awesome! :)

Keep reading

15 Minutes

A/N: This was an anon request from someone who is struggling right now. They asked for one where the reader is locking herself away from the team more and more. One day, Spencer walks into her apartment to see a suicide note, but saves her just in time. The title comes from the fact that someone commits suicide about every 15 minutes. It will get better honey! Don’t give up! I LOVE YOU! @coveofmemories

Warnings: Attempted suicide by hanging

For anyone who needs, please call 1-800-273-8255.


“I’m worried about her,” Derek said to Spencer, knowing he was the closest to her. “She’s very withdrawn lately - only speaks enough to do our job.”

Spencer sighed deeply. “I know,” he said, “I’m worried about her too.” JJ, Emily and Penelope walked into the conference room, immediately knowing what they were talking about.

“Is there anything we can do?” Penelope asked, tears forming in her eyes.

JJ echoed Penelope’s concerns, just before Emily suggested something a little more intense. “Should we have an intervention? Tell her we’re worried about her?” she asked.

“We have to do something to get through to her,” Derek said, “Something to make her realize she isn’t alone.”

“In reality, I know she knows that,” Spencer said, pushing his hair back from his eyes, “but she’s been through so much in the past few months that nothing makes sense to her anymore.”

Within four months, Y/N had lost both her parents to sudden heart attacks, her grandmother to lung cancer and had been cheated on by the man she had been dating for the past four years.

“I think an intervention of some kind might help,” he said, thinking about how she might react. “I think she realizes she needs help, she just doesn’t know how to ask for it.”

Hotch walked into the room, knowing what was going on and was immediately on board. “Tomorrow?” he asked, figuring it needed to happen sooner rather than later.

“Yea,” Spencer said, watching as Y/N shrugged her coat on and made her way to the elevator, her eyes shiny with tears. “I think I’m gonna go over tonight though, see if I can make an excuse for her to come out tomorrow.”


Just fifteen minutes after Y/N had left this office, Spencer had driven after her. He had a key to her apartment; they hung out outside of the office nearly all the time, even in recent weeks. But instead of doing anything at all, he’d just sat there and allowed her to be silent.

As he made his way up the stairs, he put the key in the door, fulling expecting Y/N to be sprawled out on the couch with a pint of ice cream - it was a Friday night tradition even before she started feeling depressed. However, instead of Y/N on the couch, it was empty. He looked around, but she hadn’t even left her go bag at the door, which she normally did.

Spencer made his way up to the kitchen counter, finding a sheet of paper with delicate script on it.

To Whomever Finds Me,

I’m sorry you were the one to find me. If I’m right, it’ll probably be Spencer, so Spencer…I’m so sorry. But I can’t go on the way I am. My parents are gone. My grandmother is gone. I’ve wasted the past four years of my life with a man I didn’t really know. I have work and you guys - the ones I’ve been privileged enough to call my friends. You are all more than I deserve and I hope that my death isn’t too scarring for - that’s not my intent. I just don’t want to live like this anymore. Thank you for loving me more than I ever deserved - just know that none of this was your fault.



In the split second it has taken him to read the note, his heart had sunk and he’d run faster than he’d ever thought possible, making it to Y/N’s bedroom door just in time to see her walk off the chair. “No!” he screamed, running under her to catch her and keep her from falling.

As soon as the belt had constricted around her neck, he could see that she didn’t want to die - at least not in that way. Her hands shot to the belt and attempted to dislodge it from her throat, but she was having a hard time doing it and Spencer was barely balancing her on his shoulder. With everything he had, every bit of strength he could muster, he balanced her while reaching into his pocket, grabbing the pocket knife he’d only started carrying recently. He sawed back and forth, breaking a sweat while cutting her from her restraints. “It’s gonna be okay,” he cried, feeling her fall to the bed as the belt gave way. “It’s gonna be okay.”

“I’m sorry!” she sobbed. “I’m sorry, Spencer! I’m sorry!” A cry wrenched from her throat as she grasped her hand around her neck, realizing what she’d tried and almost succeeded in doing. Were it not for the fact that Spencer wanted to get her to go to an intervention tomorrow, she’d be dead right now.

“You have nothing to be sorry about,” he cried, cradling her in his arms as she wept. “You are not alone. You’ll never be alone. It’s going to be okay.”

He wanted to take her to the hospital immediately, fearing a horrible injury from the attempt, but she was still silently, violently crying into his chest. Within minutes however, he heard two sets of footsteps coming up the stairs, realizing they belonged to Hotch and Morgan. Apparently, they’d had a bad feeling.

Spencer looked up to see them, staring in horror at the belt and at Y/N, wishing they had seen the signs sooner. Both knelt down next to Spencer, whispering to her that it was going to be okay.

“Give her to me,” Hotch said, lifting Y/N into his arms and carrying her down the stairs, Morgan and Spencer following behind.

“I almost didn’t come,” Spencer said, violently sobbing when Y/N was out of earshot, “I thought about texting her about tomorrow instead of coming over. She’d be dead.”

“It’s gonna be okay, kid,” he said, taking a crying Spencer into his arms. “She’s gonna be okay.”

mycherryqueen  asked:

What are your thoughts on Sakura's fight against shin? Many say it is a filler.....

hey, i’m actually glad you sent me this because i recently had an “argument” about it! 😅

right, first of all, i want to briefly address the ironic elephant in the room:
‘hinata vs pain’ was substantially more filler than ‘sakura vs shin’, yet nobody complains about that..? 🐸☕️ i mean, considering that’s it’s predominantly the hinata (& n/h) wankers throwing a tantrum over this battle, it’s ridiculously hypocritical, don’t you think? like, their fave character and ship are hyped solely because of such. maybe people in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones…

actually, no. they can go ahead and throw stones! (if they’re not too busy tripping over them, that is. 🤐) you know why? because ‘sakura vs shin’ did happen in canon, which technically makes it not filler. now obviously remember that gaiden followed sarada’s POV as the protagonist, so we only got to see this fight midway through in the manga. nonetheless, that still indicates that (1) it actually happened, and (2) it was present enough that we got to see two full pages of it actually depicted by kishi in chapter 9!

a filler fight is making it seem like any form of “battle” actually took place in 437; a filler is fabricating a battle out of two tiny panels of hinata running at pain and failing to land even one hit before being knocked out-cold & stabbed. a filler is not something which actually took place in canon but was expanded upon for entertainment, time or even an appeasing response (/compensation, lbr) to 15+ years of a character’s canon moments being sabotaged out of unprofessional bias. plenty of the fights throughout the series were added to, which is standard in the industry for the above points (entertainment value and/or adding to the running time). besides, nothing about it was false in portrayal – it accurately showcased her already canon skill & abilities.

oh, and because i’ve seen the conversation circling:
no, we won’t drag this battle up to prove anything about sakura… we don’t have to. 🤗 unlike them, we aren’t reliant on only the anime’s material and we actually have no shortage of canon moments to argue with. personally, it’s enough for me when bringing up shin to state that one punch from sakura made him need organ transplants and that she saved naruto & sasuke’s asses (again) when he was giving the world’s two strongest shinobi a run for their money. 😴

side note: two full pages of battling > two small panels, getting rekt from just running towards someone and being unable to even touch them with your magic hands. 🤔
Mystery Work
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
By Organization for Transformative Works

The One Where Merlin Will Eventually Weaponize A Dildo

For @elletromil

Relationship(s): Harry/Eggsy, Merlin/Roxy, Side percilot
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: None
Word count: 5494

Summary: Eggsy works in a sex toy shop, Harry buys way too many dildos in way too short a time span, Merlin is not very helpful, and Roxy saves the day. Or at least saves Harry from himself.

Author’s notes: My fill for the Summer 2017 Kingsman Secret Santa for elletromil.

Her prompt was:

Pining!Harry getting together fic. Harry Hart is smooth talker and no one can resists him… On missions. When he’s truly interested in someone, he doesn’t quite know where to start and his attempts at flirting are often mistaken for anything else. He usually doesn’t bother because of this, but he really loves Eggsy and really wants to share his life with him. Eggsy is of course also in love, but he mistakes whatever Harry is doing to try and woo him for friendship or something, so he keeps his mouth shut.

BUT. They also said the following:

Or seriously just anything that is a getting together fic with lots of mutual pining and a happy ending.

Any rating is good. Any pairing and side pairing is a-okay with me as long as Harry and Eggsy are together (even if they are together in a poly-way). Any characters goes.

AND. They used the sex toys tag and my brain absolutely refused to let go of that so here we are.

anonymous asked:

Hnnnnnnn I'm tired also if you're still doing requests could we get a fic with Danny Phantom and Spiderman to celebrate Spiderman Homecoming and if you're not doing requests sorry for being rude lol okay bye

Requests are always open, my friend!

Also, I haven’t seen Homecoming yet so it’s not really gonna follow any plot points from it.


Spider-Man was doing pretty good, he thought. He aced his chem test and got a decent grade on his book report, which was always nice. And his Aunt May was out of town, leaving him to come and go as Spidey all he wanted until she got back. It was going fantastic.

Until he turned a corner and slammed into something, making him fall a good fifteen stories before he regained his composure and latched onto the wall. 

“Holy shit, dude, are you okay?”

Spidey looked up to see a white haired figure floating above him, nothing but concern in his acidic green eyes. 

“Yeah. I’m, uh, I’m fine. Who are you?” he asked, still trying to wrap his head around the fact that this floating guy was glowing. Why was he glowing?

“Oh name’s Phantom, dude. You’re that Spider-dude, right?”

Spidey noted how Phantom was borderline excited to meet him. Usually he didn’t get that from superheroes. He got the You’re just a kid! You shouldn’t be saving the world on a school night! Stick. It was weird but refreshing to have someone other than a five year old be excited to meet him. 

“So, are you like a ghost or something?” Spidey asked. Phantom thought for a moment before shrugging.

“Or something, I guess. Hey, do you wanna get a pizza?” He asked. “The one I had kind of fell fifty stories.”

“Ghosts eat pizza?“ the words were out before he could stop them. Phantom didn’t seem to care. In fact, he looked almost amused by the statement. 

“Well, some ghosts do. So, what do you say?”

Spider-Man’s stomach growled at the thought of pizza, answering the ghost’s question for him. Phantom chuckled. 

“Yeah, sure,” Spidey finally said. “What could go wrong?”


Spider-Man had to remind himself not to ask what could go wrong. Because if you ask that, the universe apparently takes it as a challenge. 

All they did was go in for a pizza. But then some sort of ghost came and everything went to shit. Now his favorite pizza place was in shambles and his sit smelled like that green stuff Phantom shot out of his hands. He didn’t know what it was but he really hoped it would wash out of his suit. 

“Sorry about that,” Danny said, not able to look him in the eye as he held the thermos close to him. “Skulker is a bit…Well, let’s just say he could probably use a lonely guy cat or something.”

“No biggy,” Spidey said, making a disgusted face under his mask as he stepped in a pile of green ooze.

“What is this stuff?” He groaned, trying to wipe his boot off.

“That’s ectoplasm, dude,” Phantom said. “It’s what ghosts are made of/ Check it out.”

He turned and lifted his arm so that Spider-Man could see the large gashes right below his ribs, oozing the same green substance, now with flecks of red in it.

“Dude, are you okay?” Spidey asked, concerned.

“Yeah, it’ll be closed up by tomorrow. Healing factor and all that,” he said with a wince. 

“Does he always call you a whelp when you fight?”

“Yeah. Dude’s been hunting me since I was fourteen,” Danny let out a laugh. “He calls himself the Ghost Zone‘s greatest hunter, but he still doesn’t have my pelt on his wall.”


“I know, right? Anyway…I think pizza is off the table, now.”

They both looked back at the charred building that once brought happiness with its circular masterpieces.

“I know a sweet sandwich shop a couple blocks from here,” Spider-man suggested. 

“Sounds good to me, dude,” Phantom grinned at him.


“So you’re a halfa?” Spider-man asked through a mouthful of food. They were sitting on the edge of some tall skyscraper or another. “How does that work?”

“Well, when you get electrocuted with about 10,000 volts of ectoplasmic electricity it changes your physiology.”


“Yeah, it was. What about you? How’d you get yours?”

“Radioactive spider bite.”

“Should have guessed that,” Phantom laughed. “What if it had been like, a radioactive fly or something? Then you’d be screwed.”

“I’d have those giant compound eyes and some gnarly wings,” Spider-Man laughed, gesturing to his face. 

“They’d write comics about you! The Amazing Fly-Boy!”

“Uh, that’s Fly-Man to you, Phantom,” Spidey asked. 

“Ability to gross everyone out without even trying!” Phantom continued, leaning against the gargoyle as he held his sides from laughing so hard.

“Fear me!” Spider-Man laughed, tears forming in his eyes. Phantom chuckled some more before finally settling down.

“We should do this more often, dude,” Phantom said. Spider-Man nodded.

“I agree.”


Clockwork couldn’t help but smile as he saw Daniel and Peter laugh along side each other. Even though it was just beginning, he knew this friendship between the two would last lifetimes. One of the greatest friendships to ever go down in history was happening right before his eyes. It could have began in so many different ways, but knowing Daniel he knew this way was probably the best.

Who knew pizza had so much power.

How to prepare for university. Also little things you may have forgotten
  1.  If you are still on your parent’s health care then you may want to opt out of your school’s health care program. If you don’t you will be paying for something possibly useless. This is also true with some schools having separate dental plans as well.
  2. Get your text books from other students. If you type in your uni or college’s name on Facebook there will most likely be a page of people selling textbooks second hand at a much cheaper price.
  3. If you need it look into your school’s student disability services. They may be able to provide you with anything from quiet rooms to do your tests. To someone taking notes for you.
  4. Listen when they explain how to use your library program on how to search for research recourses. It can be a pain to learn how.
  5. I’m not saying you should do this but sometimes if you make your period size one size bigger than the font you can get another half page for your essay.
  6. If you can start pre-reading novels for English classes you should. It takes up more time then you would think.
  7. Buy a nice pair of winter boots if you live somewhere cold in the winter like me. They saved me from falling on my ass about a million times over. Best money ever spent.
  8. use a day planner and write in it the moment you find out about due dates. Life is much simpler this way.
  9. Purchase just a drop/ other products like this. Keep it for the shared washrooms and also for when you’re in public around campus. You never know.
  10. If you are having a terrible time sleeping try melatonin. I personally like the gummy kind they seem to be the only ones who don’t give me weird dreams.
  11. Get your eyes tested before you go. Some classes are huge and sitting in the back and squinting is not fun for an hour.
You Owe Me - The Walking Dead

Request:  If it’s alright I’d like to request a walking dead fic. In The Last of Us there’s a scene where a character gets impaled on a bit of rebar and almost dies. Can you do something similar where this happens to the reader as they attempt to save someone (not picky who) from team family. 

   “Well, that’s one way to deal with the problem,” Michonne noted. You, Michonne, Rick and Daryl were standing outside of a small apartment complex. Half of the building was burnt down and almost crumbling to bits.
    “It was a good idea but looks like it didn’t work out,” you added, referring to the approaching walker that was burnt to the bone, leaving black scuff marks on the ground. Daryl fired an arrow and the walker was put down.  
Rick sighed. “We all know what we’re looking for, so let’s get to it.”

The four of you started scouring the apartment complex for any supplies, because the truth was, supplies were running low at the prison since the arrival of newcomers from Woodbury. You needed supplies to keep everyone happy and mostly to keep everyone alive.

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Pride Prompt Request

This was requested by anon: “I’ve got you” with Pride

I don’t really have a good gif for this, so just enjoy a great ass shot

Word Count: 263

Warnings: none

(gif belongs to of-badges-and-guns)

The suspect kicked you over the edge of the balcony of the three story house.  You quickly grabbed onto one of the metal bars that bordered the balcony.  You looked below you, noticing the metal gate below your feet.  The metal fence was pointy and you were starting to feel nervous about dangling above a fence that could easily impale you.

You could feel your grasp on the metal bars starting to slip.  You blamed the New Orleans humidity.  When you tried to pull yourself up, it only made things worse.  “Pride, LaSalle!  He’s coming your way” you shouted, hoping that they would hear you.  

Pride ran through the third story of the house, trying to find you.  He ran out onto the balcony, seeing your hands around the bottom of the bars.  He rushed up to the railing, reaching over it and grabbing your arms.  “I’ve got’cha [Y/N],” Pride mumbled as he pulled you up and over the balcony.

Once Pride set you safely on your feet, you peered into his warm green eyes.  “Thanks for saving my life Dwayne,” you smiled.  You glanced over the edge of the balcony.  “I guess we know how he killed his wife.”

“LaSalle’s got ‘im in cuffs,” Pride noted, patting your shoulder.  “C’mon, let’s get outta here.”  Pride led you away from the balcony, his hand resting on the small of your back.

He was glad he go to you in time.  You were important to him.  You weren’t just one of his agents, you were someone he held near and dear to him.

Tag List: @of-badges-and-guns, @evy-lyn, @massivelyunsteadyposter, @moose-on-the-l00se, @the-latina-trickster, @holding-on-to-francis, @lizbeth-loves-bobear, @maybe-mikala, @silverwingedfox, @haeminhee, @becauseflife, @mija-novella, @trashforwinchesters, @emilyymichelle, @ivvitm1109, @girl-next-door-writes, @flufy07, @gabriels-trix, @theridiculouspanda, @captain-amelia-bradley, @21-wolves, @rayleyanns, @myplaceofthingsilove, @mycuddlycorner, @mogaruke

Mysterious Powers

Well, hello! I am, in fact, still alive and writing! And I wrote something for @projecthappystark! I’m only five days late! I even wrote an entire 5000 words! (5105 words really, if you like exact numbers.)

I had Noir!Tony, so have some Tony going adventuring. It’s honestly mostly fluff with a very minimal amount of angst. I do hope you enjoy. ^^

Edit: Now with Link to AO3.

One of Tony’s oldest memories was, in fact, a nightmare. He had it in startlingly regular intervals, although he never could figure out what triggered it.

As far as nightmares went, it wasn’t a particularly terrible one, and nothing terrible actually happened in the dream. He simply found himself in the main hallway of Stark Mansion, the sky outside the windows heavily overcast and threatening rain. No lights were on in the house, only shadows creeping in every corner. There was… nothing ever happened in the dream, but the dark atmosphere still never failed to make Tony feel unsettled, threatened, his heart beating loudly as he awoke with a start.

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anonymous asked:

sealing wax for the lovely savior~

I have some letters saved from someone who loved me… They were very sweet. Sometimes… they make me really upset but I’d never get rid of them… They’re so important…

As for ones I’ve written… I do like to send out some handwritten notes to each new member because the first week can be hard and I want to encourage them!

Fandom Reactions: Steven Universe Cry For Help

Steven Bomb is here! The first episode has already wounded the fanbase and I’m here to analyze and summarize the reactions of the fans. Let’s Go. 

- The hub from Coach Steven is back and it is being used by Peridot to contact Yellow Diamond. Garnet is practically a main character from a Choose Your Own Adventure book. In Coach Steven she chose the “fuse with Amethyst” option, now she chooses the “fuse with Pearl” option. Pearl makes a face that I’m sure is somebody’s Tumblr Icon now. 

- They dance in a way that says “if you don’t think the Gems are gay at this point, you are clearly an idiot!” 

- They form Sardonyx! She is awesome and adorable. Fan art of her spreads like wild fire as she disables the hub. 

- According to Tumblr she has an evil anime laugh. 

- Peridot receives a new nickname from the fandom. Weird Cactus. Hey at least it’s not another dorito comparison. 

- Amethyst finally gets her own song! Her song is pretty sad, and during this episode she has shown great maturity, character growth, and is generally a precious cinnamon roll throughout the episode. Unfortunately, most of the fanbase seems too distracted by Sardonyx and Pearl to notice. (poor Amethyst) 

- The hub keeps getting mysteriously rebuilt. Steven and Amethyst do a stake out to catch Peridot in the act. 

- Steven teaches Amethyst and the fanbase a new trick. I tried it and it works. 

- Turns out it’s not Peridot repairing the tower, it’s Pearl. She’s repairing the tower so that Garnet would keep fusing with her. Garnet is pissed when she finds out while Pearlnet shippers cry. 

- And then the usual circus of reactions happens whenever there’s an episode where Pearl does heinous things. One side says that they hate Pearl while the other says that hating Pearl is wrong. What’s my (the Mellow Filmmaker’s) opinion on this? Is it ok to hate Pearl? Yes it is, people are allowed to like and dislike any character they want. Garnet is my favorite character, but you can hate her all you like. I don’t care, it’s just your opinion. The question is should we hate Pearl? Maybe. I don’t hate Pearl, but she has been doing a lot of heinous things lately. I personally think that he Crewniverse is doing this on purpose and they’re building up to something. 

- The Pearl defenders end up being more unlikable than the Pearl Haters as many of them insult Pearl haters and states that we just don’t like a character because she’s flawed. Yes it’s really unfair that people hate Pearl for being slightly uptight, OCD, and sometimes says that wrong things, wait no! People hate Pearl because she brainwashed Connie into holding no value in her life, didn’t save Steven when he was hanging from a cliff, took Steven into space almost getting him killed against his father’s wishes, was a bitch towards Greg, and now has done the Gem equivalent of manipulating someone for sex. Let’s repeat, she manipulated one of her best friends for sex! You’re allowed to still like Pearl, but people who don’t have legitimate reasons to not like her. 

- Tumblr disappoints me as there are so many more posts feeling bad for Pearl than there are for Garnet, the actual victim.  

- The episode ends on a note where Garnet is still mad at Pearl. The fanbase is in wreck and so is Pearl. 

And that was Cry for Help. Man that was intense! That was practically Pearl’s equivalent to Adventure time’s Frost and Fire. Seriously, I’m surprised no one has made that comparison as both episodes feature a character manipulating one of their loved one’s for an experience that is obviously meant to represent sex, and those actions backfiring. I still feel a little bad for Pearl though (despite Garnet’s anger being extremely justified). She just wants to be loved and all her love pursuits have failed. Yes there’s still Opal, but Pearl doesn’t seem interested in Amethyst. Her type is clearly tall strong women who are booming with confidence and there’s no one that fits that criteria. 

…….. Well Pearlnet shippers have to do something now don’t they?