headcanon: because it's always illya who worries about napoleon wanting him only for one night stand. what if it was the other way around? they sleep together, and in the morning napoleon is scared that now illya will leave, he's kinda sad and deteached and illya has no idea what's wrong
Oh no :(( poor baby!
Maybe he just so used to people leaving, he expects it from Illya as well. Because he isn’t someone who deserves love or, as one particular nasty ex put it: “Your only good quality is your skill in the bedroom.”
At first it hadn’t hurt as much, because Napoleon just shrugged it off as them being mean. The more he thought about it, the more he started believing their words.
Then came his time with the CIA, them using him for honeypot missions etc. So maybe the doubt grew over the years? Not in his skills, because he knows he’s amazing in bed, but in his “true self”. Maybe he’s thinking that he’s just a shallow hull, not worthy of being loved.
He hides it under mask after mask, but in this morning, Illya sees right through him. And that’s what scares Napoleon the most, because he likes him so much and he can’t keep on pretending he’s merely his partner.
For the first time in years he doesn’t know what to do. There’s no plan B, no escape route. It’s simply them. It’s just him. And he believes he’ll never be good enough for Illya.