regarding "you're welcome" - what is the polite phrasing these days? Genuinely curious old person here, suddenly worried I've been offending my younger clients. ^_^;;
Yeah there’ve been some posts around that maybe explain it better than me but it’s a funny generational language quirk. So it’s not like we don’t know that “you’re welcome” is mostly meant as a polite thing and especially coming from someone older than us we know it means that. Of course even that it also depends on your locality and age… I’m 31 and probably right on the cusp between people who only say “you’re welcome” and those who would never themselves say “you’re welcome” but know it’s meant well and don’t really notice it when it’s spoken to us. I think younger people may even have a hard time hearing the “you’re welcome” as being polite as it’s meant.
Typically if I helped someone with something and they said “thank you!” I would say something like “No problem” or “For sure / sure thing” or very occasionally “you betcha” lolol - which means that it was something I didn’t mind doing, that I’m glad I was able to help, and that it was within the bounds of what I think you’re worth to me and therefore requires no particular thanks (though the thank you is appreciated). If I were to say “you’re welcome”, to me it is an acknowledgement I consider the thing I did to help you to be some kind of burden or effort on my part - typically beyond what I’m happy to do for you based on our level of acquaintanceship. It implies that a thank you is definitely expected since I went out of my way somehow. If it’s something small, it’s especially passive-aggressive feeling to say “you’re welcome”. If it’s some work mostly-stranger I did my job for, it feels weird and dishonest to say “you’re welcome” because no, that’s my job, I didn’t do you a favor and I wouldn’t do you a favor probably because I’m not actually your friend. Generally I only say “you’re welcome” when I’ve given someone a nice gift that I knew they wanted specifically and when they thank me I really want to say that yes, I did put special effort into it, but I’m so glad you’re pleased because that was what I hoped for. But even then I rarely say it, more like “Yeah I was so excited i found the thing you wanted” or whatever.
From what I can tell, people to whom the “you’re welcome” is a genuine normal thing to say mean it the same way I mean “no problem” in that it’s within the bounds of what they’re happy to do, and I’ve heard tell that they sometimes think the “no problem” means it WAS a problem and is the passive-aggressive one to say. I know many retail workers are specifically trained to say “You’re Welcome” because some crazy boomers get offended by anything else.
Mostly it’s just one of those weird little language shifts that’s realllllly subtle and interesting and mostly inconsequential.