Can you write headcanons for the rfa and saeran with an mc who wants to kill herself because she feels like she doesn’t matter and nothing she does will ever matter
I got this prompt before things went downhill on my end, and I’m so sorry it has taken me a while until I was able to write this for you, anon.
I really hope you’re doing okay, and know that you’re loved. Please if you need help, remember to talk to loved ones, friends, or to look up suicide hotlines for your area (Google as an incognito mode if you’re stressed about your history). If you’re thinking of therapy I used to use BetterHelp.com. They had an app and it was nice not having to voice all the negatives, just writing them down. And some places offer free therapy as well.
Do not be ashamed for wanting/needing help. It’s so much better than the alternative.
- He showered you with compliments on the daily.
- He didn’t know you. You were still just some person behind a text message screen.
- Why did he care so much?
- Out of the camera’s prying eyes, you locked yourself in the late Rika’s room, curling up beside her bed.
- She was so much better than you in every way, so much more lovable, likeable. No one ever batted an eye to you unless it was just to be flirted with.
- You knew those advances would go away the moment they saw you for who you were.
- Some over-depressed whiny fuck.
- You covered your face, hating how harsh you had to be to yourself, when you heard the phone ring. You peaked over, the action seemingly taking over a year, but you recognized the face on the ID.
- You answered, a low “Hello”, to which he acted surprised to.
- “Eh? Are you sick? Did our RFA princess get a cold?”
- Silence. Long enough that you heard him shuffle with the phone, probably to check if you were still on the line.
- “Mc? Hey, are you okay?”
- “Why do you care?”
- “…What kind of question is that?”
- You scoffed.
- “Hey, whats up? What’s wrong?”
- “What, you going to just flirt with me? Save the damsel in distress who you don’t even know?” You swallowed, the action making your throat feel like it was being torn apart.
- “I do know-”
- “No you don’t! You don’t even know what I look like, let alone how I act! How I really am! Just some selfish fuck up who can’t even compare to that Rika girl you all keep talking about!”
- Silence again, and your felt your heart manage to break even more. “That’s what I thought, you can’t even-”
- “No, I’m still here. I’m listening.”
- “To what?”
- “To you. To you venting. Mc, please just. Keep going.”
- Out of anger you did. Anger towards yourself, towards the group. He listened. He listened as anger turned into broken sobs that had your chest heaving.
- He kept quiet for a moment, making sure he wasn’t interrupting you again.
- “You’re right, I don’t know you. I don’t know what you look like, but you know what? I don’t care. Because while I don’t know you that well, I know already you’re a good person. You’re helping us while your heart is so burdened with stress, while you have the weight of us on your shoulders. Do you know how many others would do that? None. In fact, the one that did is gone now. And even as upset you are with us talking about her, you’re still willing to help, you’re still willing to listen to idiot romantics like me, while you’re struggling so much. But you know what? We’re here for you. These strangers that you’re taking care of, we’re here for you too. No matter how silly, no matter how late, you can call me. Text me. If you feel like this please, please, just talk to me or one of the guys who makes you feel more comfortable, if you can’t talk to anyone else. Just please, yell at me, blame me, but god please don’t do anything to yourself.”
- “I-I-I’m so ssorry-”
- “Don’t. We all have our bad moment. When I see you at that party, I’ll give you all the hugs I can’t give you right now, and all the ones no one else was able to give you. So stick around until then at least, okay?”
- You nodded, even though he couldn’t see you. “O-Okay.”
- He stayed on the phone with you to calm you down, getting you to agree to sleep on the couch so Seven could make sure you were okay. He stayed on the phone for hours, just listening, singing at times, humming encouragement.
- And when the two of you finally met, he couldn’t let go of you, and you never wanted to let go of him.
- He was used to coming home and you greeting him with a smile, warming his heart and taking the stress from work that day. Even Elizabeth 3rd didn’t have that effect all the time
- But seeing you curled up on the bed, motionless, face soaked in tears, had him dropping his suitcase and rushing to you
- “Mc? Mc, are you alright?”
- You weakly looked up at him, dried eyed threatening to tear up again. “No.” God, every part of you hurt admitting that, but you just wanting some emotion to grace you, something other than pain and numbness
- “Do I need to call the doctor? It’ll just-”
- “No, no please, just.” You weakly reached out for his hand, and he immediately grasped yours. Even just tilting your head felt like it took your whole energy reserve away. “I need you.”
- He laid down beside you, pulling you into his arms. “Love, please. What’s wrong?”
- “I don’t know what to do anymore.”
- “About what?”
- “I’m such a fucking waste of space Jumin, I can’t do anything right anymore.”
- He jerked away slightly, looking you in the eyes.
- “Don’t you dare even begin to think that. Don’t you dare.”
- Tears starting spilling from your eyes again as you were forced to look directly at him, your shoulders shaking.
- “But I am-”
- “No,” He kissed your forehead, but his voice was stern, even slightly shaky. “You are the most amazing thing to happen to me, you are the best thing to grace my presence each morning I open my eyes, you are so much more than that, mc. Please.”
- You had never seen Jumin cry, but now you felt it. He was holding you tight, burying his face in your hair, as he struggled to keep composed as his body shook.
- “Please, mc. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”
- You clung tightly to him, muttering a mantra of apologies as he made a mental list of how to help you exactly.
- He would going to start telling you he loved you six times a day, kiss you every moment he could, call you every small two minute break he had just to tell you he thought of you.
- God, just anything. Anything to keep you here with him, and to feel like yourself again. Not this husk.
- Jaehee knew a few of the signs, just from excessive research she did after hearing about the late Rika.
- Maybe a few other reasons
- The two of you were closing up the shop for the night, you washing the dishes as she swept. However, she had stopped ages ago, watching you stare at a knife with a dead-eyed half lidded stare.
- She knew.
- Slowly, she walked behind you, taking your hands in hers and getting the knife away from you, holding you from behind.
- “Mc, don’t.”
- That’s all she said. She wasn’t even 100% sure that was what you were thinking, but you bursting into tears on the spot confirmed it.
- She cut the sink off, wrapping you in one of the fluffy clean towels, rocking you back and forth as you sobbed into her.
- She wanted to cry, felt like she needed to, but she held it in. For you, just for you. Just anything to make you happy.
- “Jaehee, I can’t- It’s so painful- I can’t even breathe-”
- “Shhh,” She kissed the back of your head, waiting for you to cry it out.
- When you finished, she turned you around, kissing the corners of your eyes.
- “We’re going to get you to a doctor.”
- “Jaehee, no-”
- “Yes,” Her voice cracked a bit, and she took a deep breath. “Mc, you are the best thing that has ever happened to me. I’ve learned so much about myself, I’m finally enjoying my life again, I feel like I finally learned what it’s like to feel alive-”
- “With me gone, you’ll-”
- “I’ll break, I’ll be in shambles. And I never, ever, want to see you like that. I never want to see your beautiful, shining, radiant face devoid of life. If that happened, I’d die, Mc. I would just stop.”
- She took a moment to rub her eyes, then to kiss you.
- “Please, please, just talk to me. I promise I love you, I promise I will do everything I can. Just please, god. Don’t hurt yourself.”
- Everything had been numb until now.
- Bad grades? Still workless? Numb.
- Yoosung drowning in games while you silently and mentally begged for his attention? Numb.
- You weren’t even sure what had snapped in you today, but as he was discussing a test he failed, sad over it, but a bit happy it wasn’t as bad as his past grades
- And you just broke down in tears
- He froze up, trying to figure out what he said wrong as you buried your face in your knees.
- “Mc? Mc, what happened? Are you okay?”
- He gingerly touched you, scared of provoking more tears, but when you leaned a bit closer he managed to bring your face up to look at him.
- “Mc, please, please, tell me what is wrong.”
- He was so scared. Were you going to break up with him? Did someone hurt you? What was happening?
- After a few moments of choked sobbing and garbled mutterings, you managed to clear your throat enough.
- “Yo-Yoosung, I can’t stand this anymore.”
- Oh god, you were breaking up, weren’t you? He took a deep breath. “Stand what?”
- “Just, I don’t fuckcing know,” you covered your face again. “Living. I can’t.”
- His heart sunk. Immediately he pulled you to him, tears already leaking.
- “Do-Don’t you dare. Don’t you dare, Mc. Please, god, don’t you dare.” He couldn’t bring himself to say the word, he didn’t want to even jinx it. “Please, god, don’t. I don’t know what I’d do.”
- You outright wailed.
- “I don’t have a job, I’m such a disgrace, I just-”
- “No,” He pushed your face into his shoulder, refusing to have you keep on. “You don’t know how much you mean to me, or the people around you. God, please, I went through this with Rika, Mc, just please, please, let me help you. I couldn’t-” His voice broke, “I couldn’t help her, please, god, let me help you.”
- The two of you broke down, just rocking back and forth on his bed, sobbing together. You, feeling so ashamed and sick. Yoosung, so scared and guilty.
- After the two of you cried it out a bit, he covered you in kisses, refusing to stop until he felt like you knew how much he loved you.
- He’d nearly beg Jumin to have him help you get help. He didn’t care if he had to become a slave to C&R for the rest of his life. Anything was better than losing you.
- No matter what you did, how much you told him you loved him, he pushed you away.
- You couldn’t understand why for the life of you. He was so in love with you a while ago, and now it’s just this?
- It was you, right? You did something. You weren’t who he thought you were…Right?
- He didn’t even notice you leave the house.
- You threw your phone somewhere outside, and just walked. Walked until your feet felt sore, until your legs couldn’t take it.
- When you finally stopped, you were at an old park bench. It was late in the afternoon, almost dark, so no kids were around. You sat down, and held it in as you thought about what you were going to do.
- There was a river nearby, so that was an option, wasn’t it? And if you truly needed to you could fashion your sweater into some noose. It wouldn’t be too hard if you had your phone.
- Phone… Right. You threw that somewhere, didn’t you? You couldn’t even look up proper ways of killing yourself, could you? Managed to fuck up right until the end.
- You laughed to yourself, and as you did it slowly turned into hiccups. Into sobs.
- Soon you were sobbing on this abandoned park bench, like some fool. Some lovestruck fool that had no one to love her back.
- You didn’t know how long you were there, not until a loud screeching noise hit your ears, causing you to blink at the bright lights in front of you.
- “Mc? Oh thank god, thank god.”
- Seven ran to you, pulling you off the bench and hugging you tight.
- “I was so scared, I was so fucking scared. Are you okay? Are you hurt-”
- You shook him off, shooting a bitter glare his way.
- “Why do you care?”
- You could see the life leave him. He instantly teared up, reaching for you.
- “God, mc, I do, I do, god i do please. Please please, please pleaseplease, don’t do this-”
- “What, push you away like you-”
- He pulled you into a sloppy, wet, kiss. His tears mingling with his inability to kiss properly.
- “I know I’m an asshole, I know I don’t deserve you. I just get so scared- I’m so gross, so disgusting, so stupid, Mc. And you’re so smart, so kind, so fucking calm. And I don’t deserve you, not in the slightest, but here you are,” He managed a weak, choked, laugh. “Finally realizing…”
- He held you close, refusing to let go, as he sobbed into your chest. “God, mc, please. Come home, lets talk, and then you can beat me within an inch of my life, but please god don’t leave me, don’t, not like this. Not like this, just any other way, not like this.”
- You put your stubbornness aside. Still angry, but longing some validation.
- The two of you settled in his car, awkwardly cuddling in the back seat in the abandoned parking lot, trying to calm down enough to drive.
- And in that time frame, you realized he was just as scared as you were. Once he heard your plans, he begged you to get help, he even promised he would come along to therapy, just anything so you didn’t harm yourself like you were thinking. He needed to know you were safe, and he would never forgive himself if he couldn’t stop you.
- But you knew for damn sure he wasn’t going to push you away anymore, not even if his mind told him to. You deserved more.
- When he saw your recent search histories, he nearly broke down himself, recognizing a few of the searches as ones he used to look up himself.
- You, the wonderful woman who welcomed him with open arms. Despite those he hurt, despite him trying to hurt you. When you first saw him, you immediately hugged him so tightly, whispering on how thankful you were that he was alright.
- Something he would never forget.
- And here he was, reading the results you got for painless suicide methods. Once he saw one connected to your recent behavior, he shot out of his seat and sprinted to wherever you could be.
- When he found you, he was the one to break into sobs. He was so mad, so fucking mad, that he couldn’t stay composed, but he needed you, he needed you so bad.
- He fell to his knees, clinging onto your legs.
- “Mc, please god, please don’t do it, please for fucking gods sake don’t leave me alone, don’t leave me with an empty bed and guilt, god Mc I can’t take it, I can’t.”
- As soon as he started sobbing, you connected the pieces pretty quickly, and felt your own tears pour.
- You slowly met him on the floor, where he held you in a death-like grip, begging you without any shame.
- “Why, why, why? Why?”
- “I’m just. Worthless, Saera-”
- “Don’t you fucking even think that for one moment. I’ve killed people, mc, I’ve killed people worse than you, I’ve beaten people. God, Mc, I’m worse than you. If anything I’m the one more deserving to go rather than you.”
- He broke down again, ending up blubbering. “If you go I don’t know what I’d do. You’re the only thing keeping me sane, please god Mc, please don’t. Please. Please.”
- He just kept begging, and you started to wail.
- The two of you stayed on the floor just cuddling each other, unsure of what else to do. It took hours until the both of you could stop crying, until the both of you held hands so tightly and talked about the help for you to get.
- He would do anything, just anything, for his beautiful heaven like sky not to be taken away from him.
it’s almost a week later and here tf i am with these damn vday drabbles. enjoy this hunk!
(gifs aren’t mine!!)
“I can’t stop thinking about you… I can’t.” ft Derek Hale
You and Derek dated secretly for a little over five months. You thought things were going well when Derek walked up to you two days ago. You thought he was finally okay with telling the pack. You were, of course, wrong. He grabbed you by the arm during the middle of a pack meeting and pulled you into his study, slamming the door behind him. He kept pacing back and forth, eyes never meeting yours as he slowly explained to you that he no longer wanted to date you. He wanted nothing to do with you, personally or professionally. His outburst surprised you, but you walked out with your head held high. The rest of the pack didn’t know what was going on or why you wouldn’t show up to the meetings, but you managed to give them viable excuse after viable excuse.
Today is probably the most annoying day of all after your fall out with Derek. Today is Valentine’s day, a national holiday to remind you of both your loneliness and your rotten luck. The rest of the pack had gone out on a couple’s dinner sort of thing, and Lydia made a point to invite you every day, but you couldn’t go. Not because of Derek’s sorry ass but because you didn’t wanna be the seventh or ninth wheel.
So instead, you’re at home. You’re dressed in a comfy crop top and baggy sweats, a bowl of ice cream in one hand and a bag of hot chips in the other. You set your snacks down on the table and before your ass can hit the sofa, you hear rapid knocking on your door.
“I’m coming! Jesus,” you grumble, walking to the door as the knocking becomes more incessant.
Your mind immediately jumps to the worst conclusion as you twist open the locks of your door. What if your friends were hurt? What if “couples dinner” was code for attack??? You quickly unlock the door only to find Derek on the other end. He looked like a complete wreck, and the terrible feeling rushed through you again.
“Derek, what is it?” You whisper, keeping yourself together as you let Derek in, closing the door behind him. He stands in the small hallway, not moving. “Derek please tell me what’s wrong? Is someone hurt? Did something happen? What–?”
“I can’t stop thinking about you… I can’t,” Derek repeats the words, almost as though apologizing to you.
“W-what?” You hesitantly place a hand on his shoulder and he looks up at you, his tired sea green eyes meeting your gentle ones.
“I’m so sorry. But I can’t stop thinking about you. I go to sleep every night, picturing you next to me. I wake up every damn morning wishing I could kiss your forehead one last time. I can’t sleep, I can’t focus, you’re clouding my every thought, Y/N,” Derek’s voice breaks as he falls to his knees in front of you.
“Derek,” you whisper, gently running your fingers through his hair as he buries his face in your stomach.
“I don’t want you to get hurt, Y/N. I don’t know what I’d do if you got hurt,” he wraps his arms around your legs and let’s it all out.
You lower yourself so you’re face to face with him as he tells you about a new threat, a vampire coven. The pack had never dealt with a coven before, but they’d heard rumours about how ruthless they could be. They’d take the pack’s weakest link and tear them to bits. Derek didn’t trust himself around you, he didn’t want to risk your life so he broke things off and pushed you away.
“I’m so sorry, Y/N,” Derek whispers, gently cupping your face. You lean into his touch and close your eyes.
“It’s okay, Der. I feel better now… at least it’s not my fault,” you look up and meet his loving eyes.
“Is that what you thought?” His eyes search yours before leaning forward and placing light kisses all over your face. “It’s not at all your fault. You’re perfect.”
“Well, I wouldn’t go that far, but I am pretty damn great, huh?” You smirk as Derek chuckles, shaking his head.
“You’re perfect, I swear.”
“How perfect?” You whisper, biting your lip as Derek stills in front of you, eyes landing on your lips.
Did you lose me? Or did I lose you? Did I make you leave? Did I push you away like everyone else? Did you just give up? Was I too much? Too sad? Too deep? Too clingy? Please, please, just tell me what I did wrong. Please. I don’t want you back, you broke me, but I need to change something before I lose someone else.
really wish people who only have an academic understanding of the term “gas lighting” would just stop throwing it around willy-nilly. gas lighting is not when someone disagrees with you in an argument, it’s not when someone paraphrases you or exaggerates what you said for dramatic effect. it’s not when someone misunderstands you and says, “this is what I have understood that you meant, if it’s wrong, please tell me what you did mean?” gas lighting is not when someone has an alternate interpretation of something that is going on.
gas lighting is when an abuser convinces a victim that their own judgment is completely unreliable. this is accomplished by constructing a reality where the victim can not trust their own judgment. for example, a common tactic is that the abuser will hide things that the victim set down, and when the victim asks where the thing is, the abuser will just say, “you’re so forgetful, you’re so clumsy, you can never remember what you did with anything, can you?” and act like these things make the victim “cute” yet also inferior. if the abuser is older than their victim, then the abuser could add things like, “I know better than you, I have more life experience after all.” the abuser will make the victim look like a ditz in front of people and say things like “you’re so oblivious!” and this is done until the victim truly deeply believes that they are in fact oblivious, that their memory is terrible, that their own judgment is poor, that their abuser will know better for them in any given situation. usually, people who are victims of gas lighting don’t even fucking know it! because they have bought in to this constructed reality of their own inferiority!
THAT is what gas lighting is, it is a long term traumatic experience where a person learns to deeply mistrust their own selves.
gas lighting does not cease when the conversation is over. gas lighting is a whole constructed reality that a person lives inside of and it affects all areas of their life. stop fucking throwing this word around because you can twist the dictionary definition around enough to make it fit.
Warnings: No humanity! Reader, threats, temporary death, anger, and I think that is it!
Kol was in a rage. You were gone, not just physically, but emotionally too. You weren’t you and that thought consumed Kol at every moment. He could think of nothing else.
“Kol, moping isn’t going to help find Y/N,” Elijah commented barely looking up from his paper. That was the last straw for Kol. All week he’d kept himself in control and not once lashed out at the source of the problem, but now that control was gone.
“DO NOT TALK TO ME LIKE THAT! THIS IS YOUR FAULT!” Kol exploded pinning his brother to the wall by his neck, his vampire face making an appearance.
“Kol! Let him go!” Hayley exclaimed as she and the rest of the family made their way into the room in order to find the source of all the noise.
“Maybe I should, and after I do that I can rip your throat out!” Kol snarled at Hayley.
“As fun as that sounds, I do believe that wouldn’t be worth the trouble Kol,” you spoke up from the entrance of the compound.
“Y/N?” Rebekah asked in shock. You sort of seemed like you, but…you were missing…you.
“You’ll catch flies if you keep your mouth open like that Beks,” you chuckled. Kol had forgotten all about Elijah and was now eyeing you.
“You still…you haven’t turned it on have you?” Kol sighed.
“Why should I? There’s no reason for me to suffer just so others can be happy.”
“Darling, please. You need your humanity.”
“I said no Kol. It’s not like I’m killing people.”
“You haven’t killed anyone?” Klaus asked, astonishment evident in his voice.
“No, I just stopped by to pick up a bag and I did that so I’ll be on my way,” you explained and turned to leave only to find Klaus standing in front of you.
“As much as I would like to just let you leave, I can’t love.”
“Why not? Nothing I’m doing is harmful to any of you,” you pointed out.
“You’re wrong. Now, can we do this the easy way or are you going to make things difficult?” Klaus questioned.
“How do you know that I didn’t anticipate this and cover for myself?”
“What are you talking about?” Kol asked.
“I’ve discovered that Cami can’t be compelled, but she has plenty of friends that can.”
“What did you do?” Klaus growled his face starting to change.
“Nik, don’t! Y/N’s probably bluffing, even without humanity, reason still exists!” Rebekah explained.
“What’s your point?” Klaus demanded, stopping you when you tried to leave.
“Y/N is well aware that doing anything to hurt Camille would be quite the mistake,” Elijah spoke this time.
“I’m going to call Camille and if there is anything wrong, you are going to fix it,” Klaus growled before speeding off to make his phone call.
“Please tell me that you were not stupid enough to actually compel someone close to her,” Elijah sighed.
“That would just be great for you wouldn’t it?” You hummed.
“Actually, it would be rather bothersome.”
“Too bad I don’t care,” you muttered looking at your nails.
“Turns out Y/N was telling the truth!” Klaus exclaimed walking back into the room.
“What did they do?” Hayley asked as everyone else was to stunned to talk.
“Nothing even slightly harmful right Klaus?” you replied.
“Be that as it may, I cannot have you running around in this condition.”
“You can’t stop me. Try it and we’ll see how fast the bodies start piling up,” you threatened.
“Oh, I can stop you,” Klaus smirked before speeding in front of you and snapping your neck.
Today is a very important day, because today is when peoples eyes were opened and people were told “listen to your fucking kids, bright smiles and loud laughs can hide so much anger, sadness, pain and so much fucking more” today’s when people looked at gun laws and started to say “what the fuck are we doing letting our kids have this much access to guns?” Today’s when people realised bullying can lead to this kind of shit. Today’s when people who went through the same shit as Eric and Dylan (bullying, depression, anger issues) could seek out help and tell someone what’s going on in their head. Today’s the day when parents looked at their children and asked “are you okay? Please talk to me if you ever need help and support".
So yes, of fucking course what Eric and Dylan did was horrific, and let the 13 victims of the shooting rest in peace (13 because Eric and Dylan were not victims of their own crime, they were victims to others things of course) the columbine shooting should have never happened, ever!
Rest in peace Dylan Klebold and Eric Harris, what you did was wrong but everything got too much and I just want to say I’m sorry it felt like no one was ever there, you guys never got the help you needed/wanted, you left with two intentions, one was revenge but two was to open people’s eyes and that has my respect, I’m sorry no one got to you in time to change your minds, the two of you would’ve loved a lot of things that happen now, the movies, the music, the food and so much more. Maybe you guys could’ve sold your ‘radioactive clothing’ or ‘hitmen for hire’ ideas to some big movie producer or became big game makers and big computer wizzes but I want to end my message to you by saying: I’m so sorry people treated you like nobodies, I’m sorry they ruined the one chance you guys had to be teenagers, I’m sorry.
Bless the victims and their family’s. None of you deserved this horrible tragedy, the victims deserved long happy lifes, a chance to fall in love and a chance to fulfil their biggest goals and dreams. And their families deserved to be beside them the whole time, watching them live to their fullest potential and watch them become beautiful adults. Bless Dylan’s parents and family. Bless Eric’s parents and family. I’m sorry you lost your boys.
Amnesia was a fairly new organization that had sprung to life recently with the intent to overthrow the government. Of course, they had thought things through and made sure to maintain the secretiveness of the operation.
The first step? Taking HYDRA and S.H.I.E.L.D. down from the inside out.
Y/N had been working for Amnesia for quite some time. Since she was a child, actually. Her father was the head chairman and continued to uphold that position to this day.
Considering that fact, and that fact that she had been training since she was a child, she had been chosen for the biggest undercover mission yet. And possibly the most dangerous.
She was supposed to find a way into the Avengers Tower and maintain a close relationship with almost all of them. Especially one in particular.
The infamous Winter Soldier, Bucky Barnes.
One of the the hardest but most critical parts of the plan.
Y/N had managed to worm her way into his heart and get him comfortable enough to call her “home.”
But the mission was finally over. And now it was finally time to bid him farewell and get back to Amnesia’s headquarters.
Bucky frowned, looking up from the tv to find Y/N with a duffle bag slung over her shoulder, “Y/N… where are you going?”
She sighed, not looking up at him, “I’m leaving.”
Bucky’s frown deepened as he paused the tv and stood up, looking her over, “Are you going out with Natasha? To the shooting range or something?”
Keeping her gaze down, she replied vaguely, “No. I’m leaving.”
He sighed, “What, why? Was it me? Did I do something wrong?”
Y/N rolled her eyes, shrugging slightly, “No, you didn’t.”
Standing up he took a hesitant step closer to her with a small pout, “Then why are you leaving? Doll, I’ll fix it. Whatever’s making you wanna leave we’ll change it, okay?”
She finally brought her eyes up to meet his, her gaze cold and penetrating, “No. Bucky there’s nothing to change. There’s nothing you can change. I’m leaving and that’s final.”
He felt his breath catch in his throat at her words, “Doll… please… I love you.”
Y/N scoffed softly and set down her bag. “You say you love me. So what? You wouldn’t be the first and you certainly wouldn’t be the last.”
Bucky tried to stop the tears that were threatening to spill over from where they had formed on the rims of his eyes, “What… what do you mean? Do you not love me…? Doll, please. Please just tell me what I’m doing wrong.”
She barked out a laugh, rolling her eyes, “I don’t love you. I never have. Were you really that naive? Did you really think someone like me would fall for someone like you? A cold blooded murderer who can’t even remember the people he’s killed? Please.”
“Doll- I… What’s gotten into you? You always told me that it wasn’t my fault. That I didn’t do it consciously. You always told me you loved me. You acted like you cared.”
Y/N chuckled, her laugh frigid and empty, “Aha. How funny. You really thought I cared? You were just a mission to me, Barnes. Nothing more. All those late nights you spent venting to me. All those early morning chats we’d have over coffee. None of that was real. No one could ever love you - The Winter Soldier. Although, I do have to thank you for helping me get my hands on this.”
Holding a small flash drive in her hands, she waved it around, an evil glint in her eyes. “See you around, Bucky. And thank you - for, you know, making me feel human if at least for a little bit.”
With that, she turns on her heel, picks up her bag and heads for the door. Normally, you’d think that in this situation something sweet would happen. Y/N would turn around and give Bucky one last longing glance, one last caring look, one last glimmer of hope. At least, that’s what Bucky wished for. But it didn’t go down that way.
Instead, she turned around and gave Bucky a patronizing look and that was the last he ever saw of her.
Bucky sat back on the couch and stared blankly at the wall in front of him for what felt like ages.
Was it really all just a lie?
Bucky and Y/N had spent hours on end planning their future. Would it really come to an abrupt close now?
Would all of it be for waste?
The brightly colored sippy cup that had been sat on the coffee table caught his eye. Just earlier this week, the two of them had discussed trying for a child soon - it was one of the most important things to both of them.
At least, so he thought.
Now it just looked sad.
It reminded him that things could change just as quickly as they had begun.
Summary: Even if it’s just for a moment, you make me forget all the hard things. Word Count: 1,729 Genre: fluff, angst Prompt: Choi “S.Coups” Seungcheol + Beach TW: none i can think of! tell me if you need anything tagged
A/N: im not in a good place right now and i needed to get some stuff off my chest. kind of a continuation of seungcheol’s highschool!au. i hope this is able to help you guys if you needed something like this as much as i do.
Being open about having autism does not mean I’m trying to make excuses for bad behavior.
So… this is a difficult topic. I want to start this by saying that I have nothing against people who self-diagnose - it is how I got started, too, because I was not in the family situation to have any adults do it for me and send me to a specialist to get tested. I did get tested, but that wasn’t until I was in my early 20s. So there’s that. (also, it’s late, so if I get anything wrong or say something you disagree with or something offensive, I’m sorry, and feel free to speak up, I’d love to discuss this!)
The reason I’m pointing this out is because I’ve read in many different places and heard from different sources that there seem to be people who “self-diagnose to have an excuse for their own bad behaviour”, or “just use their autism to get away with things.” As always, I can’t speak for anyone but myself, but I’d like to point out (again): Being open about having autism does not mean I’m trying to make excuses for bad behavior.
A fundamental difference between people who make excuses like that (and I guess those people do exist somewhere) and people like me is that while we do make mistakes and we make these mistakes because of our autism, we feel terrible about making these mistakes. Letting you know that the reason for our behaviour is our autism does not mean we don’t understand we did something wrong - it means we may not understand why it was wrong or were not in control of our actions (irrational behaviour, meltdowns, impulsive reactions, etc…).
If I know I did something wrong I feel terrible about it. I want to know what I did wrong. I want to understand why it was wrong, so I can avoid doing it again. Mistakes happen, but I prefer them not to happen more than once. If they do, I feel even more terrible. This has, in the past, even led to self-harming behaviour on physical and emotional levels, mostly because I - and many people like me - have been told that doing things wrong and not knowing why something is wrong makes you a bad person.
It’s not our fault that we don’t always know why things are wrong. And most of us work very hard to keep our database of rules up to date. So please, if someone who you know has autism hurts you or does something bad or if someone tells you they did a bad thing because they have autism, be patient with them and try to explain to them what went wrong, or lead them to the right resources for the issue at hand. Also please be aware that people like me may not always realise when they make a mistake, or if they realise it, they may not know what that mistake was.
Being direct and just telling us what happened, what went wrong, can help us a lot. And sometimes just asking why we think it was okay to do something might help you understand us. Both things can lead to a more relaxed way of interacting in the future, because mutual understanding is the basis for all communication (which we are, as you may know, notoriously bad at).
tl;dr: Being open about having autism does not mean I’m trying to make excuses for bad behavior. It means I admit I don’t understand some things and may make mistakes. It’s a signal to you not to get mad at me for messing up, and instead to be patient with me and help me understand why what I did was not good.
Request - Joker and Harley’s daughter One Shot imagine
a/n: hiii omg, i recently got this imagine request and i LOVED IT!!! so imma do it ehehhe. and it will be my version of how the joker and harley’s daughter would look and act like :) hope you enjoy babes
characters: joker, harley quinn, reader, some asshole named roy
pairing: reader and the asshole named roy are together, joker x harley as parents
storyline: reader and asshole named roy are in an abusive relationship, roy is abusive. reader’s parents - joker and harley don’t know about it, because y/n is too scared to tell them, not knowing they have control over anything. one day y/n’s parents find out.
warnings: abuse, mention of abuse and abusive relationship, swearing, death
“Please, please, don’t, no.” I whimpered, knowing what he was about to do. His hand raised and collided with my cheek, making tears spill out and my head turn harshly to the side. I gasped, sobbing and holding my face from the pain.
“You are never leaving me!” He yelled. “You understand?!” His hand grabbed my face, pulling me closer. “Do. You. Fucking. Understand?!” My eyes shut closed from his loud voice grazing my ears. “Speak, you little filth!”
“Yes.” I whispered.
“What was that?”
“I will never leave you, Roy.”
“Yeah, that’s right. Now get out before my parents come back!” He yanked me away from him, making me fall on my knees. “Get up, bitch. And remember, nobody knows about this.” His harsh words stabbed me right in every place in my mind and body and I scrambled to my feet. I grabbed my things and with all my energy, I got out of his house and got in my car.
Once I started the engine and got far away from his house, I stopped at the side of the road and cried. I cried and cried, and cried for what felt like hours. When I felt like calming down, I looked at the time. Shit, it was almost curfew. I started the car again and drove home as fast as possible. I hoped I made it in time.
I parked my car in our garage and quickly walked through the front door into the house.
“BABY’S HOME!” I heard mom yell from the dining room. I sighed. Jeez, I really needed them out of the way right now. I just wanted to go to my room and be alone for a while. But I had to greet them, otherwise they would get angry. “I made some dinner, hon.” She said. Her white hair with pink and blue ends was up in a perfect messy bun, her body wrapped in a white silk robe. Dad was sitting next to her, an arm around her waist, probably. He was in a simple white shirt, his green hair perfectly standing out.
I placed my bag on a chair and finally faced her.
“Oh, honey.” She pouted, seeing my face. I furrowed my eyebrows. “What happened to your make up?”
“W-what do you mean?” I asked. Oh, right, me crying.
“Your mascara is running down your face, eyeshadow smudged. What happened?” She questioned. Well, should I tell them? I mean, it’s not the best timing since this abuse from Roy has been going on for months. But they need to know, better late than never. Although he told me not to tell anyone. We both know what he would do if I told anybody. But God, I couldn’t take this for any longer. I couldn’t take it anymore.
I ran my fingers over my face and my hair, sighing. I opened my mouth to speak, but only sobs and pants came out.
“Oh, baby, come here.” Mom urged for me, stretching her arms out to me along with dad. His blue eyes held strong concern. I walked over to them and fell into their arms. I cried into their clothes, their arms wrapped around me, dad’s one hand was soothing my back. “Is it someone at school? Is it Roy?” I nodded my head feverishly. “What did he do? Did he hurt you? God, I always knew there was something wrong about him.”
“Tell us, baby, so we can figure it out together.” Dad said. I looked up at him. “We’re here for you, baby girl. We’ve always been. Whatever it is, you can tell us. Even if you think you can’t, please do.”
“Just tell us, hon. We will do anything to make you happy.” Mom urged and I slowly calmed myself. And told them everything. How Roy had been abusing me for the past few months and told me to not tell anyone. How I had been using dumb excuses for my bruises and scars every time they had noticed and asked. How I had been too scared to tell anybody.
“Baby, how-” Mom couldn’t even form words.
“Haven’t you got any idea of what we can do?” Dad said.
“What?” I asked.
“Baby, we have all the power.” Mom gave me a wicked smile. “To do anything. Get revenge on someone, get something, destroy the wo-”
“Harley, please.” Dad stopped her. “We could’ve done something so long ago.”
“But I thought you guys were… I didn’t know about your… power.”
“Now you know.” Mom spoke. “So let’s get him.”
“W-what, I-I just-”
“Don’t say you don’t want to get rid of him.” Dad said. “Harls, get hers and your costume, this Roy will finally meet his ‘girlfriend’s’ parents.” Dad spoke and stood up, walking down the hallway. I turned to mom.
“What? C-costumes? What did he mean?” I asked. Mom only smiled again and took my hand, dragging me upstairs. After a little while, we were both in matching red and black costumes with white and checker-style details. Mom improved my make up situation, making my mint-green hair into a bun like hers.
“Oh, baby, I’m so excited.” She said, putting some lipstick on my lips. “Haven’t gone out this way since you were in me.” Weird. “We’re finally gonna show you bits of our old life. Perhaps later we can teach you how to fight and… well, live.” She spoke, giggling after. Mom took my hand and dragged down to the very basement where I saw things I had never seen in my life. Dozens of guns stocked in different shelfs, all over the place.
“Wow.” I breathed out, all the sadness gone.
“I know, hon. Let me just take two.” Mom said. She walked over to a black box and came back with two guns - one was gold, the other white with gold touches. “Alright, now let’s go. J’s probably already waiting for us.” We walked back into the main room, and there was dad standing in a purple suit. It was perfect, no flaws.
“Well, aren’t my girls looking beautiful?” He smiled, accenting the last word, which made mom giggle. I felt very insecure and uncomfortable in this costume, I never wear tight clothes. “Let’s go now.”
We got into dad’s lamborghini and soon were at Roy’s place. A big jeep in the driveway gave away that his parents were home. What would we do about them?
We got out, me and mom following dad, and simply came in through the front door. Roy was standing behind his parents, it looked like we interrupted something. I stood behind dad, looking doubtfully over at mom.
“Don’t worry, hon.” Mom whispered, sending me a wink. I gave her a weak smile, holding onto dad’s hand.
“Who the hell are you?” Roy’s voice cut through the tense silence. Dad laughed in a way I had never heard before, tilting his head back.
“Oh, boy. Do you really need to be asking the questions here?” Dad spoke in a seductive way.
“How about we ask you a few questions, Roy?” Mom spat his name like poison. The looks on Roy’s family’s faces were ridiculous.
“For example, Roy’s parents, do you know how my daughter’s and your son’s relationship is going?”
“Y-yes, it’s like a piece of cake.” Roy’s mom said.
“Is that so?” My mom asked. “What do you think, mister?” She pointed her finger at Roy’s dad.
“I think it’s the same as my wife thinks.”
“Hmm.” Mom narrowed her eyes in doubt.
“You see, we got complains from our daughter here that… their relationship hasn’t been going so well the past few months.” Dad spoke. “She told us Roy here has been abusing our baby doll. Do you know anything about that?” Roy’s parents turned around to him with wide eyes.
“Roy? Is that true?” His mom exclaimed.
“N-no, of c-course not, y-you know I wouldn’t d-do that.” Roy stammered. Pussy.
“Of course it’s true. Our baby would never lie to us.” Mom said. “Y/N, can you tell them?” I came out in front of my parents with the biggest confidence I had felt in my life.
“Yes. It’s true. Roy has been abusing me for five months. He told me to never tell anyone or it would get worse. But now, knowing what my parents are capable of, I could finally have the courage to tell them.” I said. “I honestly don’t know what you get out of it, Roy. Wait, I know - you’re a pathetic sadist, who’s reputation is made of bad things only.” I spat.
“Yes, that’s right.” Dad nodded. “That’s the truth. We’ve seen the scars.”
“Roy! I can’t believe this!” His mom exclaimed.
“Don’t worry, miss.” Mom said with a sarcastic smile.
“You won’t have to deal with him.” Dad spoke.
“We’ll do it for you.” Mom finished. The next things happening were a blur. Loud noises, like shots and Roy’s parents’ bodies falling to the ground. Mom and dad were laughing. I looked at Roy and laughed myself. The boy had pissed himself with the biggest fearful eyes I’d ever seen.
“Oh my God.” I said between laughs. Mom and dad walked to stand next to me and mom handed me her gun.
“I think you have the honor, baby.” She said with a wicked smile. I took the gun from her and put it up in front of me, aiming at Roy. The actions came practically naturally.
“It’s in her genes.” Dad said with a smirk.
“Y/N, no, please don’t do this. I will be better, I promise, I won’t hurt you again, I know what comes of it, I-”
“Shh.” I said with a smile and pulled the trigger, aiming at his forehead.
a/n: We hope you guys like part 5! This is the final part of the main plot. It’s kind of bittersweet to end this as it’s our first fanfic. The very last part, part 6, will be almost entirely smut. It’s under the cut as usual. Here’s part 1, part 2 , part 3, part 4, part 6.
Jimin lay you down gently on the bed. You’re obvious exhaustion had been worrying him for a while but you were way too far gone to stop insisting you were okay. There’d been tears streaming down your face since he’d found you hours ago, huddled into a ball on the windowsill. Though he was clueless as to why since you hadn’t been able to calm yourself down enough to tell him before you ran out of energy.
Naturally this was very distressing; for more than one reason. You were generally a happy person that took life as it came, also this was only the second time in five years he’d seen you cry like this. The first had been three years ago and a night that had burned itself into his memory, much to his dismay. If it was the same reason he was going to take matters out of your hands, no matter what you said.
He waited until you fell asleep, then stormed into the kitchen to check your phone. He was going to go berserk once he found the imbecile that had caused you so much pain. Nothing would keep him at bay.
Before he looked and intruded on your privacy, he considered calling the guys. They’d be furious at whoever had done this but their collective wrath tended to get overly violent and Jimin was still of sound enough mind to know that a murder wasn’t going to be good press. Looking down at the phone he sighed and closed his eyes. This better not be Parker.
He typed in your pass code and was displeased but unsurprised to see your ex-boyfriend’s name pop up. That explained it. He was renowned for being a nasty and emotionally manipulative piece of shit. Jimin could only imagine the kind of bullshit he’d managed to fill your head with this time. But this would be the last time. He’d make damned well sure of it.
You woke to the welcoming sounds of morning traffic and relentlessly loud citizens. The apartment you shared with your boyfriend was right in the middle of the city, making it prime real estate and excessively loud. Closing your eyes, you desperately tried to prolong the wonderful dream of not waking alone. It had been weeks since Jimin had stayed over. If you thought particularly hard you could imagine you’re lover sleeping soundly next to you instead of whatever the hell he did when he wasn’t around.
Jimin had a strange tendency to just disappear for weeks at a time leaving you alone to recover from his intensity. Just being in the same room often caused you to completely lose your composure and act like a lovesick virgin. Which you certainly weren’t (he’d made sure of that years ago). It was infuriating how little control you seemed to have over yourself near him. You loved him though, and he loved you.
You took a deep breath and sat up; opening you’re tired eyes.
You squeaked in surprise, turning your whole body instinctively. He was just laying there completely at ease and completely naked. The fact that your cheeks heated made him chuckle. His lack of modesty never failed to make you blush and he found it adorable.
“See something you want?”
“Was that a question?”
“No?”He laughed loudly.
“If you answer another question with a question I’ll just have to answer for you.”
You raised an eyebrow. “Just how would you go about that?”
“By burying myself so deep inside you that you will say whatever I tell you to without question.”
Woah…he wasn’t usually so direct. But you had to admit it was hot especially with his raspy waking voice. You weren’t going to give in that easily though.
“What makes you think that have that much power over me?”
He smirked. “What makes you think I don’t?”
“What?” You sputtered, his answer made no sense, then you realised your mistake. His smirk stretched into a wide grin. You both froze as you made eye contact, then you launched yourself towards the door. If he got his hands on you, you wouldn’t be able to make yourself pry them off.
You got the door open and were just about to escape when a band of steeled muscle wrapped around your waist and yanked you back. He had you stripped down in seconds and before you could process anything but the chilled air on your bare skin you were on the floor underneath him. It was cold and smooth against your back in contrast with the rough heat emanating from the body above you. He’d pinned your legs with his and was holding himself above you at eye level. It had all taken an unnerving amount of time and effort on his part for you to become so helpless. You gaped at him.
“Not so cocky now are you.”
You just stared at his beautiful features.
He ran a warm hand down your side flexing as he held himself up on one hand. The wandering hand ran over your collarbones then you’re stomach before finally moving to your breast. His fingers caressed your peaked nipple in frustratingly light strokes. You moved your hand to massage your other breast but stopped when he leaned back and just looked at you.
You were still for moment then slowly put it back on the ground by your shoulder. Slowly he reached forward and took your hands in both of his and pushed them above your head.
“They stay there.” He ordered before ducking his head down and sucking a nipple, biting around it whilst roughly massaging the other. You bit your lip and arched your back urging him to be harsher. He chuckled against you then moved his leg between yours to rub against your wet heat. His lips started to slowly trail south and you were so caught up in the pleasure and anticipation that you almost forgot to be self conscious. Almost.
The moment his lips touched your pubic bone your eyes shot open and you scrambled backwards, covering yourself in shame. He jumped back and tried to look you over from a distance, searching for some sort of injury.
“What’s wrong? Are you okay? Did I hurt you baby?” He worried as he shuffled over to you.
“No you haven’t done anything Jimin, it’s me. I just…” You looked down at yourself with tears in your eyes “I can’t give you myself like that.”
Jimin was more than confused. This wasn’t even close to the first time you two had, had sex or given each other oral. Then it hit him. The tears yesterday and your ex’s name. What the fuck had he said to you.
“Baby girl please tell me what’s wrong” he begged.
“Parker called last night. He said he was going to find me and take me back, by force if necessary. I told him I was happy with someone else and I begged him to leave me alone Jimin I swear, but he wouldn’t listen. He said if my ugly pussy had been touched when he found me he was going to beat whoever did it and make me watch.”
Jimin was seething with barely contained rage. He was going to kill him.
He stood up and walked out of the room leaving the tears to the overflow from your eyes. You curled up into a ball and just sat on the floor numbly. He’d left. He was probably too scared of Parker’s threat. Soon he’d leave and you’d find yourself back with your tormentor, this time with no way out.
You weren’t sure how long you set there but eventually Jimin came back and sat - still naked - next to you.
“You know I’m not going to leave right? I’m not scared of him.”
“I’m actually a little insulted that you’d doubt me.”
You smiled weakly at him then asked “Do you still want me?”
He looked at you incredulous for a second before responding “Of course, you’re the most beautiful girl I know.”
You nodded but didn’t really believe him. Looking in the wall to wall mirror in your room all you could see from your huddled position were flaws and ugliness next to a man that was practically shining.
He saw you frown at your reflection and quietly moved to sit behind you. He put his head on your shoulder and spread his legs out on either side of you. You looked into his reflected eyes then looked away quickly. He furrowed his brow in displeasure then got an idea.
You felt his hand curl into your hair a moment before he started planting brief sloppy kisses on the side of your face and neck. You put your hand on top of his and giggled. He took that as a sign of encouragement and licked your neck making you laugh louder and relax. Your legs uncurled and splayed out in front of you as your other hand reached up to run through his hair.
He untangled his hand from yours, placing it on top and squeezing gently, before moving it to caress your cheek lovingly.
This all kept you too distracted to notice his legs wrapping around yours and subtly moving further apart until you were pinned again. He kept lavishing you with wet kisses and licks as his hand moved down to caress your breast again. Your breathing hitched as the atmosphere changed.
“Keep your hands in my hair, love.” He whispered as he nipped your earlobe. His left arm reached over to your right breast as his right hand trailed down between your legs. You were shocked to realise you couldn’t move. You were mortified to see your ‘ugly pussy’ in the mirror and turned your head away in humiliation.
Jimin tenderly grasped your chin and turned your face to stare him in the eye. He planted another soft kiss on your cheek then whispered “You are beautiful and you know that I don’t lie to you baby.” You held the eye contact still unsure. “Please baby, just feel how even seeing you has me so hard I can barely stay coherent. I can’t think straight and we haven’t even started. If you can’t believe my words, believe my actions.”
You released the tension in your body and relaxed your body to his. He nuzzled into your neck as his arm wrapped around your chest and his fingers grazed your wet heat. He ran a finger up your slit and circled his thumb around your clit sending a pulse of pleasure through you. Continuing the motions with his thumb he used a finger to dip into your centre and teasingly rub the wetness around you’re folds.
You leaned your head back letting him suck affectionately on your neck. He pulled you tighter against him as he finally slipped a finger fully inside you, curling it slightly before pulling it out and slipping two back inside. His legs pulled apart, stretching you further. Your hands pulled and kneaded at his hair as he added another finger. He moved his other hand down to thumb your clit, now confident you wouldn’t squirm away.
He nudged your head with his and you locked eyes with him in blissful question. He glanced down and you followed his gaze enraptured by the sight of his fingers spreading you open then moving in and out of you at a faster pace. You shuddered and were surprised to feel your orgasm get closer. The sight of him manipulating your body soaking you. You shifted trying to get him deeper only to feel his prominent erection nudging at your back. You whimpered making him move faster the final straw when he bit your neck. You shuddered and clenched at his fingers which he spread eagerly drawing it out longer.
When you finally went limp he withdrew his hand from your clit to secure it around your waist. He gave the bite mark on your neck one last lick before removing his fingers from inside of you and placing them in his mouth to suck off the juices one at a time. You just remained a panting tired mess as he watched you try to regain some semblance of feeling in your limbs.
He knew you wouldn’t have the energy to move for while, not just because of the orgasm but also because of the emotional strain of the day’s and the day before’s events. Gently, he picked you up and lay you on the bed before murmuring in your ear “I’ve got to go out for a few hours but a few of the boys might come around later to check up on you. I won’t be gone for more than a day. I promise.” You moaned in acknowledgement as he set the duvet over you and got dressed.
He left your apartment with a grim scowl on his face. He had business to attend to.
* Lafayette X Reader
* 335: Why don’t they just kiss already
A/N: Lafayette has a few long french parts which I don’t translate as they aren’t very important. Use you’re imagination. Also John Laurens is kind of a jerk at one point but I couldn’t figure out how to move the story along. Sorry if I made him look bad…
“Ha! Pay up french fry!”
Someone thought it’d be a good idea to play Monopoly. So you headed over to the apartment that Alexander shared with Hercules, John, and Lafayette. And Laf had the bad luck to land on New York Avenue which you happened to own.
“27 bucks please.” You said holding your hand out. Lafayette grumbled but paid the money.
After about an hour of playing it was down to you, Lafayette, and John. Herc tapped out early and went to get drinks for you all and Alexander was run bankrupt but was watching intently.
John paid Lafayette for landing on one of the three trains he owned. “Who thought this was a good idea again?” He questioned.
“You and Alexander.” You answered.
“Oh yeah…” he sighed and looked at his money and the only deed he could afford to keep. “Crap. See it was a good idea when I thought I’d win.”
“I hear ya there.” Alexander said. John rolled again as he had doubles and landed on the orange St. James Place, which had three houses on it.
“Heck yeah!” You celebrated.
“Ugh fine. Laf, I selling this deed back. Just give it to Y/N. I’m out.” John took his game piece and threw it back into the box.
“Me and you Lafayette.” You said.
Alexander snorted. “Oh this’ll be so interesting. I wonder who ever will win.” He said sarcasticly.
“What do you mean?” You asked. The two of you seemed to be at equal places with a few deeds you could buy still.
“Oh nothing at all.” Alexander told you. “Come on, roll the dice.”
The two of you had quite the game going. Herc returned some time ago with some drinks. When Alexander told him who was left in the game he laughed and said he knew who was winning. The boys weren’t really making sense tonight. You reluctantly admitted Lafayette was winning. He got the upper hand buying some of the deeds that were sold back. You landed on North Carolina Avenue which had two houses on it.
“Crap!” You exclaimed. You looked down at your money and tried to see if it was possible to pay without mortgaging any deeds.
Lafayette was holding the deed about to read the price but instead said. “You know what mon cheri, you don’t have to pay this time.”
“Huh? You sure?” You asked.
“Of course. You can pay more next time when I have trois houses on it.” He said with a smirk.
You rolled your eyes. “Fine then go.” You said pushing the dice toward him. Alexander and John exchanged a look.
That wasn’t the only time you got out of paying either. Lafayette rolled before he asked you to pay, or offered up a pass. Eventually the balance shifted. You bargained for the last deed you needed to complete the yellow set. And when Lafayette landed on Marvin Gardens you had him beat.
“Yes!” You shouted and jumped up.
“You play a good game mademoiselle.” Lafayette said smiling.
“And you Lafayette.”
“I don’t know.” John said. “I think Lafayette kinda played a little weak. All those freebies he gave you.”
“Yeah.” Alexander agreed. “Hey Laf, why didn’t I get away without paying?” He had slightly changed the tone of his voice like we all knew the answer to his question. You shot them a confused glance.
“Ignore them.” You said. “Alexander is just mad that he lost and now has to clean up for it.” Alexander grumbled but started cleaning as that was the rule you guys came up with.
You started cleaning up bowls from snacks and empty bottles. Lafayette started helping you while the other boys started wispering.
“Do you think it’ll work?” Alexander asked while gathering up the deeds.
“I hope so.” John said. “I mean why don’t they they just kiss already?”
“Because Y/N is blind and Laf won’t say anything.” Hercules answered.
“Well either way, Alexander I think you should do it.” John said.
“Why me?” He asked.
“Cause you’re a scoundrel.” John said with certainty.
“Thank you Lafayette.” You said as he carried the last of the dishes.
“My pleasure Y/N. It is my home after all, it shouldn’t be your job to clean up.” He said.
“Ah well its no problem.” You said shrugging.
“Hey Y/N.” Alexander called to you from the doorway.
“Hm?” You inquired.
“It’s pretty late. You should just crash here tonight.”
“Oh sure. That’s actually a great idea. I hate driving at night. Who’s bed am I stealing or are you guys gonna make me sleep on the couch?” You questioned.
Alexander answered before Lafayette could hope to. “You can stay in my room and I’ll sleep on the couch. Or we could just share the bed?” He offered and gave you a suggestive look.
“Ha. Dream on Hamilton.” You responded.
“Oh come on Y/N.” He said walking towards you.
“Alexander.” Lafayette said. He voice sounded like a warning. “We need to speak. Now!” Lafayette said and pulled him from the room. You stared after them in confusion. Suddenly you heard them arguing. However, you couldn’t tell what it was about as it was in French. You stared at them in complete bewilderment before shrugging and going back to clean.
“We need to move this along.” Hercules told John.
“Agreeed. I hoped Alexander would accomplish this but I guess not.” John said. He sighed. “Oh well, here I go. Hey Y/N can you come here for a second.”
You walked back into the main room. “What’s up?”
“Sorry about this. I’ll explain in a minute.” John said.
You look at him confused. “Sorry about what?” You asked. He grinned sheepishly before suddenly pulling you close and kissing you. The room fell completely silent. Suddenly John was no long kissing you, and when started registering your surroundings again Lafayette was yelling at John. Again in french.
“Comment oses-tu? Ont ypu aucune décence? Et qu'en l'honneur entre amis? Vous êtes un porc Laurens John” Lafayette rarely spoke in full French. That only happened when he was really upset. The boys were trying to get Lafayette to stop yelling while you stood completely stunned.
“WILL EVERYONE SHUT UP!!” You shouted. That did the trick, everyone quieted down and looked at you. “First of all its late and you have neighbors. Secondly, will someone please explain what the hell is happening?”
“Nothing you need to worry about mon cheri.” Lafayette answered.
“No. No more of that. Tell her.” Hercules commanded.
“Someone needs to explain why John just kissed me.” You said.
“And I promised to explain didn’t I?” John asked.
“That you did.” You assured him.
“Arrêtez!” Lafayette shouted. “Y/N can I speak to you privately?”
“Uh sure.” You followed Lafayette to his room. He was pacing the room and running his hands through his curly hair. “Dude are you ok?”
“Non mademoiselle.” He answered.
“Well what’s wrong?” You asked him.
He took a deep breath and started talking. Only he reverted back to French once more. “Je ne sais pas comment vous dire cela, mais je vous aime. En fait, je l'ai toujours. Depuis le moment où j'ai posé les yeux sur vous. Vous étiez si beau et drôle et intelligent et-”
“Dude stop.” You interrupted. “I can’t understand you. Care to translate that?” You asked.
“Basically, I think I love you Y/N.” He said quietly looking at the ground.
The events of the night came back in a flash. Him yelling at John after he kissed you, arguing with Alexander when he was flirting, even the damn free passes I Monopoly. It should have been obvious.
Lafayette was staring at you waiting to see what you said.
“I’m so blind…” was you’re reply.
“Quelle?” He asked.
“Oh no I mean, wait. You love me?” That you just couldn’t believe. Lafayette was funny and smart and sweet. Not to mention he was handsome and such a gentleman. There’s no way he could like you.
“Of course mon cheri. You are smart and zophisticated. You are beautiful and confident, not to mention strong willed and funny. Everything about you is beautiful and breath taking.”
“Is that why John kissed me? To get you to admit to this?” You asked.
“I’m afraid so. I’m truly sorry, had I told you he wouldn’t have done that.”
“No its fine.” You said.
“And I understand if you don’t feel the same way.” He said quietly and sadly.
You realize you never told him how you felt. “Oh no Lafayette it’s not like that at all!”
“Non?” He said, sounding hopeful now.
“No! I always assumed you didn’t like me so I tried to just be your friend but I’ve always liked you.”
“Really.” You told him smiling.
He walked over to you and placed a hand on your hip. The other hand came up and cupped the back of your head and pulled you into a deep kiss. He pulled apart but kept his face close to yours. “Je t'aime Y/N L/N.”