someone please stop me

there’s something endlessly hilarious to me about the phrase “hotly debated” in an academic context. like i just picture a bunch of nerds at podiums & one’s like “of course there was a paleolithic bear cult in Northern Eurasia” and another one just looks him in the eye and says “i’ll kill you in real life, kevin”

4

So yeah.. about that whole studying for finals thing… I’ve currently fallen into a bottomless pit and can’t seem to stop drawing things from @doodledrawsthings ‘s lovely human Bill au and @videogamelover99 ‘s amazing fics.

I love that God is canonically bisexual.

Au where Draco commentates a Gryffindor match in 6th year
  • Draco: And here comes the Gryffindor team: Girl #1, Girl #2, two dudes that replaced the weasel twins, the Weasel King, Weaselet, and Saint Potter as captain.
  • Mcgonagall: [squinty chihuahua face]
  • Draco: Players are in the air and the balls are flying. There goes Potter with his stupid hair getting even stupider with the wind as he flies higher and faster than the other players, the bloody show off.
  • Mcgonagall: Malfoy, the game?
  • Draco: Yeah sure, some Gryffindor player passes the Quaffle to another Gryffindor player, who passes to girl Weasel who is intercepted by a Hufflepuff, HAHA how bad can you be to lose the Quaffle to a Hufflepuff?!
  • McGonagall: [raises eyebrows and looks indignant]
  • Draco: Erm anyways nothing much is happening, this is so boring… Look at Potter not doing anything, just there gliding in the air, Famous Potter, everyone knows he just got the Seeker position because he’s Dumbledore’s golden boy.
  • Draco: Oh wait, Potter dives, did he spot the Snitch or finaly found a comb?
  • Draco: [loudly] Don’t fall off your broom now Potter, no need to add another ridiculous scar onto that ugly face.
  • McGonagall: MALFOY!
  • Draco: What? I’m just telling him to be careful.
  • Draco: As I was saying before being rudely interrupted... It wasn’t the Snitch, Potty was probably just showing off, can’t stand two seconds without being the center of attention now can he? I wonder how he can fly so fast with his huge ego weighing him down.
  • McGonagall: That’s enough Malfoy, will you please concentrate on the game? It’s already 74-43 to Gryffindor.
  • Draco: Yeah well, what a shocker Hufflepuff is losing, everyone knows Gryffindor will win, Potter will definitely catch the Snitch sooner or later, don’t know what’s taking him so long though I’d have finished this game ages ago, and HE is the youngest seeker in 100 years, go figure.
  • Draco: Oh no, the huffdypuffdy Seeker, whatever his name is, has eyes on the Snitch. OI SCARHEAD TO YOUR LEFT.
  • McGonagall: Malfoy!! You can’t help the players, that’s against the rul-
  • Draco: Oh shut up. COME ON POTTER YOU CAN DO THIS YOU LITTLE … USE YOUR GREEN EYES FOR ONCE YOUR LIFE. FASTER POTTER PUT THOSE MUSCLED THIGHS TO GOOD USE. ALMOST THERE STRECH THAT AMAZING LEAN BODY OF YOURS.
  • Draco: [on his feet, flailing like mad] YAS, HE DID IT, THE GORGEOUS BASTARD DID IT [screeches]
  • McGonagall:
  • The audience:
  • The players:
  • Harry: