someone please buy him for me though for real

2

You’re full of SHIT, Whitechapel Charlie.

true story, though. it went something like this:

Man in Diamond City: I’m not allowed to drink alcohol but I NEED A DRINK please someone get me a Nuka Cola.
Jay: Fear not, friend, I have one right he- no wait I don’t. Wait, I’ll just grab one real quick for you! Hang in there!
Jay: *tries to buy Nuka Cola in Diamond City*
Jay: *has no luck*
Jay: *goes to the Third Rail to see if THEY have any.*
The Third Rail: *had no Nuka Cola FOR SALE despite the copious amounts of bottles all around the place* (Plenty for stealing though, but Jay ain’t about that life.)
Jay: *remembers High Rise’s promise that Triconderoda would always be there for him*
Jay: Hey High Rise, can I have a cola
High Rise: … sure?
Jay: GREAT! *leaves without drinking it*
Jay: *Triumphantly hands the bottle to the man in Diamond City*
Piper: *is impressed*

Ah bethesda games. ^u^ Never change.