someone out there is trying to kill me

softpasteldream  asked:

Someone send me "go kill yourself, faggot" and I'm just like... I'm not gay, I'm asexual, and faggot means bundle of sticks or cigarette in other countries .-.

Just ignore it, that’s what I try to do… hate messages are so stupid, and meaningless, and absolutely untrue, as you’ve just pointed out. Keep on being you and rocking at life, friend :D

anonymous asked:

pls expand on your ridiculous experiences during one semester at a fake college

okay I got a few asks about this so let me see what I can remember right now. These might not all be in chronological order

- At orientation, they were talking about the reservation near campus and all these pretty sites and this kid in the back of the auditorium goes “So uhh…heard this place might be built over a Native American burial ground?”

- The speaker: “…Let’s not think about that, okay?”

- The freshman were on campus alone for like a week and a half (other than the RA’s) before the other students and I just. The parties. Were out of control. An ambulance was called basically every night.

- I walked into the bathroom the first night there to find a girl literally dying because someone slipped something in her drink and she was having a Very Bad Reaction

- Sting- you know, the singer- ‘s son lived in my residence hall. This boy almost accidentally killed me on three separate occasions (while I was just trying to do my laundry)

- I told my family about this at Thanksgiving. Everyone in the room advised me to seduce him

- I ate breakfast in the dining hall exactly once. I got scrambled eggs. I noticed no one had brought out ketchup with the condiments and politely asked about it. I received glares from at least ten different people. Apparently people there don’t believe in ketchup on eggs.

- There were these two boys in my English class known as “The Lumbard Guys”. They didn’t live in my residence hall, but they would come over almost every night, start a party, and destroy part of the basement.

- At orientation this one kid got mad and set his shoe on fire to prove a point

- Also at orientation like??? My roommate disappeared???? And I never saw her again???

- Listen like…this campus just looked like the perfect setting for a horror film, but none of the people from the area got that. They all thought I was crazy until some comic from Comedy Central did a stand up act and said “Why the hell is this campus so creepy? I feel like I’m gonna leave here with someone else wearing my face!”. I felt way too validated.

- ALL OF MY CLASSES WERE SO FAKE

- My “math” class was actually a disguised home ec. course???? All we had were word problems that were incredibly detailed recipes or instructions on how to fix things. The teacher, who I swear to GOD was actually my Mr-Rogers-Wannabe guidance counselor from high school in disguise, spent more time trying to come up with names and backstories for the models in the text book than actually trying to teach

- I had to take a class called “first year seminar” because neither of my parents went to college. It was supposed to be teaching you about how the school works and stuff but SUPRISE BITCH WE’RE JUST GONNA YELL ABOUT RACISM AND PRIVELGE FOR AN HOUR.

- Literally that’s all we did. Just the whole class bonding over all these struggles we had gone through and getting fired up. Like, it was great, but I also ended up knowing very little about campus and school stuff bc that was the class that was supposed to be teaching me lmao

- My Psych teacher was fucking hysterical for the first few classes but then he just. Vanished. I had to drop the class

- My Fine Arts teacher just. Couldn’t stick to a teaching plan. Her entire wardrobe was scarves. She was very passionate about African masks. She had a flapper haircut. She spoke quietly, but with a marvelously forced tone of voice that I’m certain was her trying to sound impressive and hide a Boston accent. She didn’t seem to understand the year was 2014. She took us into the city to go to the Art Museum and we lost her in there, never to be seen again

- I’m not even kidding

- My “writing” teacher was my absolute fav omfg. She was this long grey haired hippie lady who worked as a nurse for the Grateful Dead and was still stuck there. She may or may not have hooked up with my uncle. I was her favorite student because one day I came in wearing a “HAIR” shirt. She wanted to take the class to England for the sole purpose of going on a Beatles tour

- But like…she did not teach a writing class omfg. She taught a social justice class. All we did was have informed debates about The Issues and listen to music and occasionally watch the Breakfast Club. Every time there was a big paper due on the syllabus, she’d just sit on her desk and go “I mean, I don’t have to cover anything, right? You guys know how to write!” Like I genuinely don’t think she knew what class she was teaching

- There was a boy who sat next to me in that class. He was deaf in one ear and used that as an excuse when he got caught blatantly not paying attention. It worked every time. But I was right next to him. I saw him playing Yu-Gi-Oh on some website on his phone under the table. One time we started talking about model cars and he pre-cummed.

- There was a boy who roamed the campus in a long black trench coat and a weird hat. I never saw his body and started to suspect he might not have one, just the theory of one. He took interest in me because I was the only person in class who ever got his Doctor Who jokes. He’d come up to me at dinner and blast quiz me on various nerd culture before running off and disappearing into the shadows. Just as I was starting to grudgingly accept I was probably going to have to eventually hook up with him for the greater good, I apparently offended him by saying I like Picard more than Kirk. He didn’t stick around to listen to my reasoning. Whenever I saw him after that he would loudly start talking about how great his girlfriend was. Everyone knew he was lying. I wonder if Kirk ever sucked his theoretical dick as well as I would have.

- I gave a football player a shout out on Yik Yak. He really appreciated it, and gave me some fries laced with weed as a thanks. That was such A Night ™ , I watched the Lorax and left the dimension.

- Every time we had dances, this creepy guy named Horace would find me and use my obvious discomfort to make me dance with him. He’d hold my wrists and shove his crotch on mine while vaguely swaying to the beat. I had to escape to the bathroom every few minutes. Finally the security just banned him from the events altogether. I can still see his face clearly in my mind.

- One night, I walked into the bathroom to find a perfect, untouched pizza laying on the floor…but not in a box. Someone literally just took it out of the box and laid it down. I’m still fuming.

- One time I was in the mostly empty library when I smelled something. I walked down the rows of shelves before rounding the corner, and found the President of the college hidden there, sitting on the floor, smoking, a bottle of vodka in his hands. We held eye contact for a solid minute. He slowly shook his head at me. I said “Sir, your house is like…literally across the street.” He shook his head more vigorously. I left the library.

- One night, I heard screaming. I looked out the window to find a girl in a giraffe costume scaling my building. People were throwing water bottles at her. I was concerned. I didn’t know who to talk to for answers.

- I was in line trying to pay for dinner. One of the lunch ladies climbed on top of the ice cream machine and refused to come down. Her friend came over and they started recreating the balcony scene from Romeo and Juliet. Very few people acknowledged it.

- Someone jacked up the soda dispenser so it was only dispensing beer. None of the staff cared enough to fix it.

- I caught my RA in the middle of a drug deal so she gave me a coupon for free ice cream

- Also side note: The soft served ice cream machine on campus was actually a frozen yogurt machine. I had no problem with that, but like, advertise correctly, you know? Nobody else seemed to understand my confusion. Nobody else seemed to understand that froyo and ice cream are two different things. What the hell.

- There were just…so many moths all over the campus. A terrifying amount. When it started getting colder I was like, finally, I won’t be attacked by moths anymore! Only for even more moths to appear. I asked a local about it. “Oh, those are the winter moths!” What the fuck are winter moths? What the fuck, Massachusetts? My friend back home grew convinced that Mothman was in the area. I was inclined to believe her. Sometimes I close my eyes and all I can see are moths everywhere, waiting for the moment to strike.

-  I’ve encountered deer many times in my life. I know how they act around people. But the deer on this campus were just weird. They’d run out at people all the time. One almost shoved me into traffic.

- My roommate gave my phone number out to literally anyone she found who mentioned they liked to read or liked Doctor Who. She was concerned I had no friends. No one ever called.

- I met a small Greek girl in my Fine Arts class. Our first day of talking, she made me climb a mountain with her so she could get to tutoring, even though I had no reason to be in that building. Her roommates kept mysteriously disappearing. She was late to everything. She’d call me randomly to get food at 1 in the morning. She kept somehow breaking phones and tvs and other electronics. When I asked her how they kept breaking, she waved it off with “Oh, I have OCD. You wouldn’t understand”. I have OCD, and I still don’t understand. One time she invited me out with her friends from high school. I waited outside her building for two hours, while the other friends waited in the parking lot for two hours, because we didn’t know how to find each other. She eventually came outside at 10:30 pm. We went to Friendly’s. She made us stop at her house so she could grab something. We pulled up a long, winding driveway and stopped in a parking lot. At the end of the parking lot were stone stairs that lead up to a mansion on a hill. She ran inside and the rest of us stayed in the car, listening to High School Musical and talking about Supernatural. When she came out 40 minutes later we decided to try and prank her. It went wrong. We almost ran over her friend’s sister with the car. They invited me to a pumpkin patch. When I started complaining about my roommate, she asked me to move in with her. I thought about the other three girls who had seemingly gone missing. I politely declined. Six months after I left the school, I received a text from her asking for notes for an exam, and radio silence after that. I can’t find her on facebook. I fear she might have gone missing too.

- One night, as I was standing outside huddled in the cold, a boy came up and offered me a cigarette to help me stay warm. I turned it down, but he stood around talking to me for a few minutes afterwards. I felt absolutely no awkwardness at all. He was a musician from Colorado. He sang a bit of one of his songs. He was dropping out of school to go to California the next week. He told me I had beautiful eyes, but his were the most alive eyes I’ve ever seen so I couldn’t believe the compliment. We talked for about ten minutes and I fell a little bit in love. He had to rush off to a club meeting, but he told me he’d rather keep talking. He gave me the sweetest smile before he left. I didn’t get his last name or number and I never saw him again.

- There was a dance on Halloween. I couldn’t think of a sufficiently slutty yet classy costume, so I just went as Osgood from Doctor Who. When I got there there was a huge crowd, but people quickly grew bored and started leaving. There ended up being six people left (myself included). We stayed because we could see the upset faces of everyone who had planned the event, but actually had one of the most fun nights of my life. We- myself, the girl from across the hall, Trench Coat Boy, his tiny friend who never spoke, and a boy and girl I didn’t know who seemed to be professional dancers- danced nonstop for almost three hours. The strobe lights and poppy music solidified an unspoken bond. I had never and to this day haven’t felt as free as I did that night. The tiny quiet boy’s smile could have lit up a city. It’s etched into my mind. We all left the dance talking about the surreal feeling in the air, as if something had shifted. None of us ever mentioned the dance again. It’s still one of my fondest memories.

- For a solid month, there was someone in a gorilla costume running around campus.

- There was a rash of sexual assaults on campus. A gang of boys kept jumping girls in the woods. The only thing the school board did was give out free rape whistles at lunch one day. I missed that day, making me one of the only students on campus without a whistle. Later that night when I ordered pizza, the delivery guy tried to start up a conversation with me about all the assaults. He blamed the girls. I took back my tip.

- Sometimes the showers just…filled up with black sludge. No one knew why.

- The girls in the room next to me were very bizarre. They always shot me odd looks and whispered to each other constantly. I couldn’t figure out if they were sleeping together or not. They never washed their hands when we were in the bathroom.

- The doors to each dorm were thick and heavy and required effort to push them open. My roommate and I made sure to lock ours every night, and would triple check it. It swung open by itself almost every night. The channels on the tv would change with the remote equidistance away from us. Sometimes I heard humming in the showers when I was the only one in there.

- My roommate…deserves a whole separate post dedicated to her, honestly.

- She would call her mother and have her do her homework for her. She blasted music constantly, and it was either country or hard rap, nothing in between. She sexiled me constantly. I once walked in on anal. She’d meet guys on Tinder, fall in love with them after a couple of days, and then bring them into the school and into our room like it was no big deal. One of them made it clear he was a budding serial killer. She was in a new drama every week. One time someone called her a dilf on Yik Yak. She was firmly convinced her cousin was blonde because her aunt dyed her hair when she was pregnant. She tried her hardest to get me laid by a football player. She was the loudest drunk I’ve ever encountered. Honestly there’s just too much about her for this omfg

- John Zaffis, the famous paranormal researcher, came to the school on my birthday. I went because I’m a loser who’s been watching shows with him since I was a kid, and I was having a bad day so I decided it could be a treat. I sat in the front row. He held an uncomfortable amount of eye contact with me the entire presentation. He was impressed with my questions. He lamented about the fact he’s always cut out of movies or replaced by priests that look like him. He apparently came to the school every year around Halloween to do a ghost tour around the campus for the students. A girl allegedly killed herself in my floor’s bathroom. He apparently always got a lot of activity around the campus. Everyone in the freshman class started wondering if the rumors about the Native American burial ground were true.

- One time in “writing” class the teacher gave us a number and then whatever song came up as that when we put our music on shuffle we had to play for the class. I ended up with “Touch Me” from Spring Awakening. Midway through the song, the teacher from another class came to complain that they could hear everything. My teacher tried to defend that all music has an important message. “Molly, dear, tell her the message in this song!” I looked around the room and at the other teacher. “It’s about sex,” I said quietly. She stormed out of the room while the class started laughing.

- There was this girl that just had the natural ability to make anything boring. I feel bad saying that, because she’s such a sweet girl, and she’s smart, and she’s gorgeous, and she’s talented, but just…every time she says anything, it’s boring. I’m still friends with her on facebook, the talent transcends to writing as well. You could be having a fun, lively conversation and she could say something completely relevant to the point and yet it would still just be boring. It’s a baffling talent, I still don’t understand how she does it.

- There was a boy who’d come into my room. He lusted over my s’mores poptarts. He kept trying to hit the high notes in Broadway songs. He didn’t understand my sense of humor at all, so we both were constantly worried we were offending each other. He cried about Selena Gomez a lot.

- The dining hall only offered horrendous food. I had pasta almost every night because it was the only thing remotely edible. If you wanted good food, you had to go to Late Night, which was between like 10:30 and 1 I think??? They set it up specifically for stoners and people leaving parties. I was frequently the only sober person there. Except for the moths.

- The chief at the pasta place found out I like theater and got like…weirdly passionate about it. He kept telling me about different theater groups in the area and wanted to know if I was in the school musical. He asked me every time I went up for food.

- There was a disproportionate amount of large black birds to trees. It wasn’t hard to figure out why we so rarely saw smaller animals

- When I told my advisor I was thinking about leaving (mostly for financial reasons but also the fake classes were preventing me from getting an education I wanted, you know?), this little old man looked around his office as if checking for people listening in, then put his hand on top of mine, leaned in close, and whispered “Oh, you sweet little girl. Run as fast as you can.”

There’s definitely more but listen. This school was weird and fake and vaguely surreal and off-kilter. I am fully afraid that one day, years from now, I’m going to be driving through the back roads and pass the place where the campus should be, only I won’t find anything there at all, and won’t be able to find any trace of it ever existing. I won’t be able to find any record of it. I won’t be able to find a record of any of the people. Every time I think about this place I just get a weird feeling, like I somehow managed to escape the Twilight Zone but left a part of me behind in the process. Be careful when applying to college, kids.

100 Dialogue Prompts: Part 4

It’s amazing to see how much we can create together, my amigos. Here’s part 4.

  1. “Look, I might be evil but even I have standards.”
  2. “Do your parents know you’re dating Death?” “No, I promised we wouldn’t get back together after he broke up with me the first time.”
  3. “Wait why am I naked and covered in cheese?”
  4. “Good god, that cake is fuckin stale and dry mate!!” “Just like how you are recently? Gee, thanks.”
  5. "There is always time for a high-five.”
  6. “Karen, what would ever posses you to find me here.”
  7. “Oh my god, put that man down! Come on, let’s go get you some REAL food.”
  8. “A demonic sugar glider?”
  9. “People always say they never thought they would be here but I absolutely did.”
  10. “And I thought I was a bit weird. But you! You are insane!”
  11. “So your hair knows kung-fu? Ha, that’s nothing! MY hair knows HAIR-ATE!” (You know, as in karate) (This used to be an insider between me and a friend…)
  12. “One day, darling, you and I are going to conquer the Universe not just our world.”
  13. “Did you seriously think they wouldn’t notice when their humans went missing?!”
  14. “Well, maybe next time you should consider that not everyone wants to be woken up at four in the morning by a- what IS that, anyway?!”
  15. “Now, how exactly did your foot get stuck in the barrel?”
  16. “I hope you realize what you’re doing. This forest never ends, you know that, right?”
  17. “You can’t just kill someone and then make it all better by saying sorry!”
  18. “Why the fuck is my cat levitating?!” “He said he wanted to feel what flying was”
  19. “You’re trying to tell me you killed three men…with a microphone?”
  20. “Hang on, are you a John Wick fan?”
  21. “IT’S TWO IN THE MORNING!” “And?” “ I have a strict no murder rule until eight. Call me then.”
  22. “I did realize you were going to be naked the whole time”
  23. “Ok, I understand you like animals, but you can’t just bring a tiger into the apparent without asking!”
  24. “I…I didn’t want you to find out like this. I’m so sorry.”
  25. “OH MY GOD CATHERINE! I JUST SAW A NARWHAL! I’M TELLING YOU, I SAW A FREAKIN’ WHALE UNICORN!”
  26. “I gotta go, I left my toaster in the oven!
  27. "Why is there a gaggle of fancy buisness men on my front lawn?”
  28. “Can you please stop referring to me as ____! That’s not my name!” “Then what is?” “I don’t know!”
  29. *Sarcastic* “Yeah, sure. I won’t at all mind being your footslave.” “Oh, goody! I knew you’d agree!” “Wait, what?”
  30. “When are you going to give up on this whole ‘evil’ thing?” “When it stops being so much fun!”
  31. “You didnt say to KILL the man!” “WELL I DIDNT SAY NOT TOO”
  32. “Mum, Dad… I’m gay.” “That’s nice, honey, but now is not the right time!”
  33. “Take a look at your soul and consider your life choices! Oh wait, that’s right! You don’t fucking have a soul!” “Oh, god, just go drown in a bathtub of syrup why don’t ya?”
  34. “I kindly ask you to please quit making your heart stop. It’s creeping me out!” “So… Y-You were sleeping in a coffin” “Yeah I’m used to it” “Are you a vampire or what?! How can someone get used to sleep in a coffin?” “No I’m used to sleep I never said that I’m used to sleep in a freaking coffin!”
  35. “Darling I love you, more than I can ever express in words…. But please stop teaching chickens necromancy.”
  36. “I wanted to know why you stole souls, not your melodramatic backstory…”
  37. “I really wish that old white man would stop rubbing his nipples at me”
  38. “You know it is written: Do not summon Satan, right ?”
  39. “Look around, what is this?” “My room?” “No, this is pathetic.”
  40. “I’ve been a professor for 20 years, and yet still my greatest secret hasn’t been revealed–I can’t read.”
  41. “Our souls don’t belong in these 'human’ bodies, every one of us is implanted here from another galaxy, and this has been the case for a thousand years. No one knows what 'actual humans’ are like without us inhabiting them.”
  42. “Did you just create a portal in time and space to pull another version of yourself into this world so I have to deal with another annoying idiot?” “No but thanks for the idea.”
  43. “You’re bleeding?!” “Nah, I’m frolicing in a field of flowers - yes I’m bleeding!”
  44. “Let me get this straight. I tell you that I make a decent omelette and you somehow equate that to qualification for piloting a spaceship?”
  45. “It’s the weekend! Let’s hit the town! See a concert, redo our wardrobes, get high, start a crime ring, I don’t know.”
  46. “Keep running, you’ve only got 4HP!”
  47. “This is clearly your first time. Stop screaming already, you’ll wake the neighbors!”
  48. “Has anyone seen the outdoors?” “What the fuck is an outdoors?”
  49. “Why do I feel like this again, I thought we were done with this?”
  50. “Look, as much as I like to hang out with you, I’ve gotta go and save the earth. Toodles!”
  51. “Have you seen?… oh shit”
  52. “Two questions: one, how many matches do you have, and two, where do you keep your socks?”
  53. “Because fuck surveys, that’s why!”
  54. “Stop yelling out the window or the koalas will rip your face off!”
  55. “I guess when I heard 'Night of Debauchery’… I didn’t picture muffins on your pajamas.”
  56. “Honey, you can’t keep throwing people to the pit of pain and despair just because they don’t like choc mint ice cream.”
  57. “Oh, no honey, put that back…”
  58. “It’s going to be too late, you know. It’s always too late.”
  59. “Hey, so, uh… I’m in trouble…” “What did you do this time?” “I got stranded in Wales….. again…”
  60. “OK, but… how do we get the dog out of a hole in space in time exactly?”
  61. “Aren’t people supposed to grow instead of shrink ?”
  62. “Wait. You’re aroused?” “Why would that surprise you?” “It does on account of you being covered in blood. Wipe that smile off your face. You look like a cat in heat.”
  63. "I pay your taxes”
  64. “No, ____. We did not raise our hamster like this.”
  65. “You can’t run from your own shadow(s), what makes you think you can run from theirs?”
  66. “You adopted… a dog?” “Mate, that’s not a dog.”
  67. “And at this moment, he decided to punch himself in the face.” “Narrator, listen, I know you’ve been with me my whole life, but you’re a huge jerk.”
  68. “Why didn’t you tell me it was a portal BEFORE we ended up here?”
  69. “Is that…the Mona Lisa.” “…Yes…” “What did I say to you about stealing priceless artifacts!?” “…That I had to take you with me next time.” “Exactly!”
  70. “Yes, I agree, magic is pretty cool. But did you really have to use it for THIS?”
  71. “Despite the fact that was epic, you’re still suspended”
  72. “Chill, dad it’s not what you think it is!” “Well it looks like you’re making out with the demon your grandma banished to cellar…WHY IS HE IN YOUR ROOM?”
  73. “If you truly love me you’ll let me-OH FUCKING HELL DID YOU JUST STAB ME!?”
  74. “Spoon”
  75. “What began as a conflict over the transfer of consciousness from flesh to machines escalated into a war which has decimated a Million worlds.The ___ and the ___ have all but exhausted the the resources of a galaxy in their struggle for domination. Both sides, now crippled beyond repair, the remnants of their armies continue to battle on ravaged planets, their hatred fueled by over four thousand years of total war. This is a fight to the death. For each side, the only acceptable outcome is…“
  76. ”… I’m going back to bed. You brought it here, you can deal with the mammoth yourself.“
  77. "Is the food supposed to be moving?”
  78. “You mean to tell me that in the two minutes I was gone,  you bombed a minor country,  got married to a stripper,  and assassinated a world leader?!”
  79. “Is that a unicorn???? EATING MY BEEF JERKY?!”
  80. “Do I get to dream about you again tonight?”
  81. “Well now I have to change clothes AGAIN!”
  82. “All of this was because of a… OF A PLUSHIE?!” “Well…Yeah?” “Great, how are we going to get out of jail now?!”
  83. “So…you gonna tell me why my brother is upside down and why you’re wearing my purple thong?”
  84. “Did you really have to burn down another Cracker Barrel?”
  85. “Sir, that’s impossible, you can’t do that.” “IS THAT A FUCKING CHALLENGE?!?!”
  86. “We need to invade Portugal.” “…Sure, why not?”
  87. “Did you divide by zero?! YOU’RE GOING TO KILL US ALL”
  88. “Stand down, Milady, this is a matter between gentlemen with mustaches.”
  89. “Next time you get arrested I am NOT paying your bail” “That’s a lie and you know it.” “….”
  90. “I thought you were dead.” “So did I”
  91. “John dont flush the dog down the toilet”
  92. “What did I say again about resurrecting dictators??”
  93. “Cucumbers are NOT pets… what do you mean, you ate him??”
  94. “Are you and God seriously fighting right now? And what happened to Satan?”
  95. “Are ferrets supposed to be blue??”
  96. “I’m the protagonist? Well I guess that explains why I look like about a thousand other people.”
  97. “Why do I do this to myself?”
  98. “Stop eating your tortilla chips with ketchup. It’s unattractive.”
  99. “How do you eat an entire cheese wheel in one sitting?”
  100. “Why are God and Satan moving in with us?”

Let’s make one more ‘100 Dialogue Prompts’ list together. Leave a comment with your prompt below. Don’t forget the double quotes “”. And as always, only one prompt per amigo! Also, here is your random Dutch word of the day: pindakaas

Darkiplier and Antisepticeye

Ok first of all, holy mother of fucks, @markiplier ‘s valentine’s day video was absolutely the best thing ever! (along with @therealjacksepticeye ‘s halloween video).

if you haven’t watch Mark’s video, I suggest you you go now before reading this post (if you actually even read it xD) because it might contain spoilers.

Ok so we now have physical proof of Darkiplier’s existence, just like Anti’s. I love how they both act alike with the glitches and all, but they’re still so different from each other. from what I saw with Jack and Anti, it seems like Anti fights Jack for control of the physical body. Anti was restless, he’d do anything and everything to take full control of Jack’s body, including killing Jack which is kinda what he did in the halloween video when he cut his throat. He just wanted freedom, and he has no problem in blaming us (the fans) for his actions towards Jack (“you all said my name”, “YOU” “its all your fault” “you all made this happen” “you could’ve stopped me… but you just watched as this happened” “now he’s gone forever”). He knows exactly what to say to make us feel guilty. that sounds an awful lot like a sociopath. I might be wrong but I just did some research (I wouldn’t be writing this without doing my homework ahah) and some of the traits are:

  • Repeated violations of the law
  • Pervasive lying and deception
  • Physical aggressiveness
  • Reckless disregard for safety of self or others
  • Consistent irresponsibility in work and family environments
  • Lack of remorse

you can see most of these behaviors in Anti. Antisepticeye is a sociopath.


now Darkiplier on the other hand…


from what I saw in mark’s valentine’s day video, Dark looked like he had more self control. he seemed awfully calm. he wasn’t trying to fight Mark for a chance of controling the body. he was waiting for Mark to actually let him in (”I’ve been waiting patiently” “he promised he would let me in again”) and this makes me think… Dark is strong enough to take over Mark’s body without actually attacking Mark the way Anti did with Jack. and Mark knows it. so he made a deal. he would let Dark get in from time to time, if he promised not to hurt anyone. obviously Dark wouldn’t keep that promise like we see in the 14 million subs video for example. now lets take a look at some of the psychopath traits:

  • Lack of guilt/remorse
  • Lack of empathy
  • Lack of deep emotional attachments
  • Narcissism
  • Superficial charm
  • Dishonesty
  • Manipulativeness
  • Reckless risk-taking

I don’t know about you but these scream Darkiplier to me. you can see how emotionally detached he is from us. he just wants to toy with our emotions. this is all but a game to him. and he doesn’t care about the consequences (”take your pick. anything of four different choices”, “and lets see how far down this rabbit hole really goes” “so take your pick. show me what you got”, “and maybe we’ll have a good date after all”). he gives us a sense of security and happiness(?) (”if dinner is what you want, then I can provide”, “and I can take you to wherever you’d like to go”), only to be crushed by a statement that makes us fear for our own life (”I can specially take you to places where you DON’T want to go”), leaving us on the edge. he makes us think he actually cares about us (”I’ve been waiting a long time to get some personal space between us”), when he actually just wants to hurt us (”THERE’S NOTHING YOU OR HE CAN DO TO STOP ME”, “youre never, ever going to escape me”).

and if you notice, after you’ve chosen who to kill, you’ll see that if you choose the left option, Mark looks so worried and empathetic over us, trying to reassure us… after all we just killed someone and he’s worried about us (compared to the Mark we’re left with, if you choose the right option). at the end, it turns out we killed the wrong Mark, and we’re left with Dark in front of us. for a second we believed we killed the right Mark, seeing how calm and not evil M(D)ark was acting towards us. that is manipulation. Dark made us believe we were safe now, that we made the right choice, only to crush that sense of safeness right when we were starting to get confortable and at peace (”oops… looks like you made the wrong choice”, “but now we’re going to be together…. forever”)

I strongly believe Darkiplier is a psychopath and Antisepticeye is a sociopath. they both act differently towards Jack and Mark and their fans, but at the same time, in a very similar way. I believe the reason Anti is so glitchy and Dark is so “HD quality” (xD) is because Anti forced his way into Jack and obviously thats gonna leave some damage, while Dark waited (im)patiently for his turn to take over the body.


I just want to congratulate @therealjacksepticeye and @markiplier for portraying these characters, made up by the fans, so unbelievably well, and thank them for taking their time to make something, created by the community, come true like this. you guys are amazing.


this is just my theory, if you disagree or have something to say, I’d be more than happy to hear your theories, but don’t be rude or anything.

also, if you read this giant post till the end, thank you so much for taking your time to do so :) sorry if this was a bit confusing xD 

________

edit: if you want a bit more input on their disorders, take a look at this post

please, I would love to hear your opinions on it

Got7 as the Mafia + How He Met You

|||Anon asked:  Hi! I really liked your mafia monsta x post and was wondering if you could do something similar for got7 and bts?|||

BTS   Monsta X   Shinee


JB/Im Jaebum

Originally posted by jaesbum

  • Built this whole gang from scratch 
  • Has this strong and scary presence around him but he’s actually an angel doesn’t like doing the dirty work himself and instead relies on his other gang members to clean up the mess
  • Even though he himself and his gang is well known around the city he prefers to stay in the shadows
  • Has a reputation of one of the fiercest mafia leaders 
  • And the rumors are true because no one who got on his bad side, got to live to see another day

Meeting you was a complete coincidence as you happened to work in the warehouses where his gang would make deals. You were always told finish up before 9 o’clock in the evening because you might lose your job otherwise and you always obeyed this rule until that day. It took you longer to sort things out than usual and when you were about to leave it was almost 10. You went out through the front exit and were caught up in the middle of two gangs.

“Who the fuck is she?” one man asked.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t see anything, I’m not even supposed to be here, I will never tell anyone, so please-”

“Shut up! You talk to much.” Jaebum ordered. You looked at him frightened.

“It would be better if we just kill her.” the other man spoke again.

“No.” Jaebum said approaching you. He wrapped his arm around your shoulder. “She’s with me.”


Mark Tuan

Originally posted by nochuie

  • He’s not in the gang to do business but rather for the many opportunities to steal, especially cars
  • If he sets his eye on something, there is 110% guarantee that he will get in 24 hours
  • He thinks Jackson is shady and that he’s probably going to try to steal from him so he avoids him like the plague which almost never works
  • Because of people like him, he doesn’t go anywhere (not even to sleep) without his trusted revolver
  • He’s one of the richest among the gang members and likes to show off his precious cars but there will be no hesitation to kill if you as much as touch them

You made the stupid decision of trying to steal from him. You saw his obviously expensive car parked outside one of the clubs and thought that that’s a good catch. However when you drove away with it, expecting to sell it into the black market, Mark himself showed up to buy it from you.

“That’s not very nice.” he said pointing his gun at you. “I really like this one.”

You were surprised the owner of the car found you so fast and just wanted in anticipation to see what will happen.

“But I also find your courage and skills very impressive, not many people dare steal from me, so how about you give me back my car and then I will think what to do with you.”


Jackson Wang

Originally posted by igot17-bangtan-boys

  • No one knows why he’s in the gang and how he got here
  • He just started hanging around and before everyone knew it he was already going on missions and making deals
  • Was very quick to gain everyones trust and respect
  • He doesn’t have a specific job at the gang as he’s pretty much good at anything
  • And he also annoys a lot people so they don’t want to take him with them but he shows up anywhere, anytime at the right moment

He met you when he broke into your house in the middle of the night to interrogate you. He woke you up and put his hand over your mouth to stop you from screaming.

“We need to discuss some things, if you behave I won’t hurt you.”

Pretending to fear for your life you just nodded but if he really thought you were afraid, that was a big mistake on his part. You knew this was going to happen someday sooner or later, so you were ready and as soon as he let go of you, you took the scissors from your night stand and stabbed him in the leg. You took off immediately after that and you have no idea how (with that kind of injury) but he managed to catch up and tackle you outside. He dragged you to the back of your apartment building and slammed you into the wall.

“Naughty girl, what did I just say about behaving? I really don’t want to hurt you but if you don’t tell me everything you know right now, I might have to take you with me.”


Park Jinyoung

Originally posted by jypnior

  • Doesn’t always look like it but will do anything for the gang
  • He’s one of the top and most respected assassins in the industry
  • Prefers to take out his targets silently, that’s why he’s more skilled with hand held weapons like knifes, daggers, axes and so on
  • Most of the time he’s very collected and calm until you make him angry or his emotions take over, then he uses anything he can find as a weapon and not a single person leaves the room alive
  • He has been in the business for so long that he already forgot the number of people he killed

Unfortunately it was your mission to kill him, as you were probably the only person crazy enough to try it. He noticed you even before you approached him but didn’t say anything yet. This situation was very amusing to him as there has been a long time since somebody tried to kill him. You were waiting all night to get the right opportunity when you lost track of him. You were about to go look for him when he appeared next to you.

“Looking for someone?” he asked handing you a drink. “Why do you look so shocked? Did you see a ghost or am I that sexy?”

You were still frozen in your tracks when he got closer and closer to you only to pull your gun from under your dress.

“What were you about to do with this?” he smirked pushing you down on the couch. “I think you should sit down because me and you are about to have a very serious talk.”


Choi Youngjae

Originally posted by huggableyoungjae

  • Specializes in making drug, weapons and other kind of deals
  • Deal making with him is very quick, as he doesn’t like talking with his business partners about anything else but the deal, so that if anything happens it wouldn’t be traced back to him
  • Even though he’s well known in the industry not many people know his real name
  • He’s also the best at smuggling anything in and out of the country
  • If the money is given to him in cash, he counts every single note as he doesn’t trust people that easily

You tried to cheat your way out of the deal by not giving him a couple of grands, thinking he wouldn’t notice but as you turned around to leave he grabbed you by the arm. 

“No so fast sweetie.” he said. “Do you know what this is?” he asked you and you could feel the coldness of the metal press at your waist.

“It’s a gun.”

“Correct! And I would really hate to use it on you.” he stated snatching your bag out of your hand.

“I will take this.” he smiled taking out a bundle of banknotes out of it. “But as you tried to trick me, I  can’t let you go that easily, so I think I will need something more than that.”


BamBam

Originally posted by bamica

  • Any kind of location, a person, any piece of information - he has it
  • Is considered very valuable in this business and many gangs try to bribe him to work for them
  • He has no interest in helping them though and prefers to stick to one group at a time but he’s been in this gang for so long that nowadays he doesn’t even plan on leaving
  • Has many different methods to get the info he needs, the most infamous one of them being torture
  • Needless to say if he gets to use that method, you won’t be experiencing anything again. Ever.

You had no idea how it got to that. Seemingly one minute you were fighting alongside your members and now you were strapped to a chair in an unknown building. Someone pulled you up by the chin.

“I told you to look at me when I’m talking to you.” BamBam said. “Ahh such a pretty face!”

“Don’t touch me!” you told trying to smack his hand from your face.

“I think you don’t understand the situation you’re now in. You see, you don’t have many options. Or rather there is only two: you tell me everything you know and I kill you quickly or I torture the information out of you and kill you anyways.”

“How about neither, you fuck.”

“Ouch! You’re just making it worse for yourself but I admire your courage, how about, just for you, I come up with a third option.”


Kim Yugyeom

Originally posted by thehouseofkpop

  • Was very young when he was thrown into this whole mafia world, still in some sort of training to be a pro
  • But unexpectedly he’s crazy good with guns, his aim is great and his precision is no joke
  • Because of that all the members trust him with their lives and he’s taken on missions more often than anyone else
  • Favourite weapons of choice - long range sniper rifles
  • Often trains other even older than him gang members and can often be seen practicing till dusk

He was surprised to see he missed and only shot you in the leg. As you disappeared behind a building he decided to come finish you off. When he turned the corner you were nowhere to be seen.

“What the heck, she couldn’t have gone that far off, at this point she should have lost a lot of blood.” he wondered when unexpectedly you attacked him from behind. You took your knife out trying to stab him when he rolled you over and now he was the one on top.

“Oh! I see we have a fighter. How were you even able to stand up?” he questioned you. 

“Stop struggling, will you?” he told you pressing his fingers into the open leg wound. You screamed in pain and passed out. He checked your pulse.

“Good. She’s still alive. If we can get her to behave, she will make a strong ally.” he thought picking you up.


A/N: Next up is BTS!! But I still have to finish it 😂 Anyhow, feel free to request more scenarios, reactions etc, I keep up with a lot of groups, both male and female!! 😄

you would think that Shiro would be a little more…cautious around Keith after learning that he is part Galra.

I mean the Galra tortured him-For a year , took his arm - a part of himself,replaced it, and now it serves as a constant reminder.

They made him do things so horrible he was referred to as a monster…

Even Allura, the diplomat that she is, the peaceful altean,
Allura who has done nothing but try to get the paladins together since they met,

Allura who recognized and acknowledged Keith as the amazing pilot that he is, who got to know Keith for the person he is, started to hate and resent him after learning that he is part galra.

When Kolivan is talking to allura, to try to get her to see that not all Galra are bad…well as bad as Zarkon, she turns and looks at Keith and says “I hope so”.

This really stood out to me. That Allura would look at Keith and “hope” that not all Galra are bad, as if he could turn at any moment. As if he was someone she couldnt trust, as if he has changed.

It’s understandable of course, the Galra killed her family and destroyed her home

but then there’s Shiro
Not giving a fuck

He’s been tortured, dismembered, and mentally attacked by the Galra, but he still sees Keith for who he is.

and I think that’s beautiful

I highly doubt this will reach an audience, I mean I have like no followers. But. I have to try.
In light of 13 Reasons Why coming out on Netflix, I’ve been reminded lately all to well of my own past. And I wish teenage me knew then what I know now. I wish SOMEONE would have told me that there is indeed light at the end of the tunnel.
I am a suicide attempt survivor. Not just once either. I attempted to kill myself SEVEN times, and did not succeed. And for that, I am grateful. Now stick with me, this is a long story.
I was the girl in the back of the classroom that no one liked. I was called parasite. People spread untrue rumors that I was a whore and I was easy (fun fact, I was a virgin until I was 17). I had no friends. I discovered the internet at the young age of 10 (2005 for you young ones that don’t agree 10 is young). And when I was 14 I became the victim of a very cruel internet joke. I met a guy online, or so I thought, his pictures were fake and I didn’t know. I printed them off and put them in my binder at school and proudly bragged of my new boyfriend. The other kids realized “he” was fake before I did, they made fun of me relentlessly, I was devastated. When I was 16, a boy in my class said “If you think Laren should kill herself raise your hand” and all but one person raised their hand. No one thought about how their words would stick to me well into my adult years, no one realized how vividly I would remember all of that, and no one cared. Absolutely no one in that school cared if I lived or died, at least not the kids. My 17th birthday should have been a good memory, I finally had a friend and I had her over that night and it was AMAZING. Until some kids from school had somehow got my number and called that night, I’m thankful that I don’t remember what they said anymore. But it didn’t end there. After a 3 year on and off relationship that was horrible, I was entirely too naive and forgiving but I don’t want to go into it, I moved on. And that, my friends, is where I found the light and all the bad became worth it because of the good. I met the man who is now my husband. It didn’t take long to realize he was my soulmate, you may not believe in those; I didn’t either until I met him. In October of 2015 I found out I was pregnant. I was overjoyed. And nervous, I think that’s a natural side effect of finding out you’re growing a life. I had a rocky pregnancy, but June 9, 2016 my beautiful daughter was brought into this world. That moment that they tell you to wait for? That was mine. That was my blinding happiness, the start of a whole new chapter of my life and for the first time I was able to put my past behind me. Shortly after she was born, I got married to her father. The most loving and dedicated man I have ever met. And I’m happy. I’m finally truly no strings attached happy. All the pain I suffered, all those years I wished for nothing but the end, every single moment that led up to this, was worth it. I sit here and watch my daughter play, and read her a bedtime story and watch her learn and grow and I am SO glad I failed.
Your pain will end. Your life will be bright. Don’t snuff out your flame early, please, just trust that this world is going to be a good place for you very soon. Keep on holding on.

The Signs as Things my Grandfather Has Done

Aries: Rolled down his window and screamed: “YOU’RE ALL A BUNCH OF IDIOTS” at people protesting something he didn’t personally agree with. (I can’t remember exactly what they were protesting… I just remember it happening)

Taurus: Trash talked Donald Trump on a number of occasions, and called the guy who threw the shoe at George W. Bush a “goddamn national hero”.

Gemini: Looked me dead in the eye and said “Shianne, I’m so glad you agree that Kirk and Spock are gay. I’ve been trying to tell your grandma that for years.”

Cancer: Recorded all the episodes of Full House and put them on a video cassette for me. 

Leo: Whenever we drove past the cemetery told the same shitty joke: “You know people are just dying to get in there…” He laughed hysterically every time this happened. 

Virgo: I asked him what he was afraid of, he answered, “I’m afraid of someone holding a gun to my head and threatening to kill my entire family. That’s what I’m afraid of”. I was 7.

Libra: Jumped out of a moving car to avoid an argument with my grandmother.

Scorpio: Watched FOX News with me and paused every 10 seconds to explain why they were wrong. 

Sagittarius: Stayed up all night watching reruns of Seinfeld on multiple occasions.

Capricorn: Got really irritated that I kept calling crayons “colors”. He corrected me every single time.

Aquarius: Never signed up for the draft, even though he was 18 in ‘68. Is also very proud of this and says “I WOULD DO IT AGAIN!!!!!” on many occasions.

Pisces: Took a picture with his toy sized Yorkie for his Christmas card. They posed like he was taking her to the prom, and he was wearing a suit for some reason.

pwp aus because wth not (NSFW)
  • “i’m a rockstar and you’re a fan who snuck in and do you maybe wanna help me ‘blow off some steam’ back stage because ur A) really hot and B) pretty obviously willing“ au
  • “seven minutes in heaven with my longtime crush but we get locked in for hours bc our friends forgot about us” au
  • “got locked in a walk-in refrigerator/freezer and now we gotta keep warm somehow” au
  • “you’re a vampire with an aphrodisiac bite and i’m the drunk party-goer you decided to snack on tonight” au
  • “you’re really invested in your tv show/book/etc and i don’t think you understand how much your absentminded petting is getting to me but like hell am i gonna ask you to stop“ au
  • “this is an sos from a helpless virgin (who doesn’t want to be a virgin anymore) to you, the most virile person i know. please teach me how all this works” au
  • “i thought you were literally the most innocent thing to ever exist but then you awkwardly ask me to teach you how to bang like a pro and holy hell what the fuck but now i’m really, really turned on” au
  • “i get that it’s hotter than satans asshole out here but if you remove any more clothing i won’t be responsible for my actions-wait. why are you smirking at me?” au
  • “i chickened out of sex ages ago and you haven’t brought it up since but now i really want it, but i’m terrible at communication, so let me just strip shirtless/model lingerie for you until you snap” au
  • “we were forced to hide in this very cramped space (from friends/authority figures/people trying to kill us) and this is a very awkward position to be stuck in with someone you’re avoiding because they’re too attractive for you to deal with” au
  • “normally we duke it out to vent our frustrations but this time someone initiated a kiss in the middle of the fight and suddenly we’re fucking against the nearest flat surface” au
  • “when i asked you to put sunscreen/lotion on my back that’s all i wanted you to do, but your hands are like magic and they have my full permission to wander” au

707mmgirl  asked:

I was wondering if you could do a NSfw where the rfa+v and saeran are having sex with mc for thw first time and they orgasm too fast and are afraid that they'd disappoint MC?

(  ˵¯͒⌄¯͒˵;;) I couldn’t sleep so I really…Really…Wanted to write this. Thought about it all day.


Yoosung

- He was losing it mentally. His hands were sweaty, his chest was beating

- He wasn’t going to lie, he had jerked off quite a bit before…Especially when LOLOL introduced that new female skin….

- But never much more than that! God, he was too scared to even get a sex toy- Too scared and embarrassed to even entertain the thought!

- He tried asking Zen for tips, even resorted to asking Seven. But Seven laughed and Zen said to look up some porn videos to get an idea because he was too busy to help

- (Or was he just sour MC didn’t fall for him?)

- When you came out of the bathroom in your pjs, he was already trying not to get a stiffy. I mean, what you were wearing wasn’t horrible, wasn’t perverted, but…You weren’t wearing a bra. Even he could tell that

- And the fact that tonight would be the first time you shared a bed together…

- “Yoosung?”

- “Y-Yes??”

_ “…Are you going to come lay down? It’s cold without you~”

- This was it, he was going to die. Someone get his will from that coffee fiasco out, he was going to need it after tonight.

- Carefully, he climbed into bed behind you, opting to try and be the big spoon and hold you tight.

-…Too tight, too tight! Your ass was rubbing against his groin so nicely. He ended up burying his face in your hair, desperate just to pretend he didn’t feel it.

- “Yoosung, are you alright?”

- “Yeah, yeah- I, uhm. I am.”

- “So you’re not hard-”

- “Don’t say it!!”

- Oh my god, this is it. You were going to make fun of him endlessly, just like the guys would when they found out. 

- You turned around to face his red face, and right when he thought it wasn’t going to get again worse, you slipped your hands around and squeezed his ass, pulling his hips flush against yours

- He. Couldn’t. Breathe.

- He felt you start kissing his neck, grinding against him, and he could only whimper in response. This isn’t how he thought it was going to happen- I mean, he was supposed to take the lead, right?? Right??

- But you slipped your hand in his sweat pants, letting out a lustful groan as you found he wasn’t wearing underwear, and he lost it

- You pulled your hand back and looked at the cum on your fingers, before looking him right in the eye and licking your hand clean

- Were you trying to kill him???

- “MC I’m sosososorry, oh my god-”

- “That’s okay, Yoosung,” You grabbed his hand, guiding it under your underwear, “Why don’t you show me what those gaming fingers can do?”

- God, please someone print out that will. He really was going to need it after tonight.

Jaehee

- So she wasn’t as innocent as everyone thought she was

-…But she was still blushing like crazy

- A cuddling session gushing over a dirty story you found online had turned sexual very quickly. Mainly due to your wandering hand, but…

- Now she was under you, one hand halfway covering her face, and the other gripped your arm as your teased her clit

- Every time she let out a squirming moan, her chest heaved and you swore you were in heaven

- You didn’t waste much time with foreplay. The two of you hadn’t really gone this far before, and this poor woman needed some excitement in her life that didn’t end in cat hair everywhere

- You couldn’t take it anymore, you slowly licked her nipple, then clamped your teeth over it, loving her surprised moan.

- “M-Mc!”

- You gave her nipple a harsh suck, your fingers trailing down from her clit to her entrance, slipping in two fingers already.

- You walls clamped down, her nails digging into your forearm already. She was sweating, chest heaving, but you knew all the right spots to hit.

- As your mouth bit on her neck, her moans kept getting higher and higher in pitch, until her nails dug in so harshly that you knew you were going to need a few bandages later.

- You felt her hips jerk up a few times, her whimpering when you kept trying to fuck her with your fingers, so you slowly pulled out.

- “Did you cum already?”

- She let out a groan, covering her face. “Yes, I’m sorry. It’s been a while.”

- You just laughed, kissing her forehead. 

- “I mean… I could be my turn, if you really loved meee~”

- She rolled her eyes but laughed, motioning for you to switch spots with her.

Seven

- The two of you were resting on the couch, just cuddling, until his fingers liiightly brushed against your sides, and you made the mistake of giggling

- Now it was On

- First thing about being friends with Seven: Never, ever, let him find out where you’re ticklish.

- He had you squealing and threatening him at the same time, squirming in between his legs as he laughed at you.

- Pretty soon you started fighting back- Turning around and desperate to find his ticklish spots. 

- But, after a while of squirming in eachother’s arms, he accidentally let out a moan that was not painful

- You stopped, and the both of you blushed… But, you just placed a questioning kiss on his lips.

- “R-really? Right here?”

- You nodded, already moving to start palming him through his pants, and he automatically started working on pulling off your shirt

- He groaned as you unzipped his pants, palming him through his boxers. He tried returning the favor, squeezing your breasts through your bra.

- But you slipped to the floor and got on your knees? What where you- Oh my god you were going to blow him

-Oh…My god.

- He watched with a growing blush as you tugged on his pants to be able to pull his hardening cock out easier. He watched your eyes widen just a bit when you pulled it out, him mentally fist pumping that he was a good enough size for you

- He wanted to lean back- Play it cool and just enjoy it, but he couldn’t take his eyes off of you. You brushing your hair behind your ear, getting a decent grip on his cock, your half-lidded eyes studying the head. He could feel the pre-cum leaking out already, and he prayed you thought that was normal.

- You gave his cock a few tentative pumps, him trying his fucking best not to jerk his hips up, and then suddenly you took the tip in your mouth.

- He couldn’t hold it back, he ended up letting a low whimper out, his fingers itching to tangle themselves in your hair, but god he managed to keep them away.

- You bobbed your head a bit, removing the cock from your mouth with an obscene ‘pop’, looking him right in the eyes as you licked up the underside of his cock

- …And he came all over your face

- It was slightly, just a bit, adorable at how you winced, but he felt his soul leave his damn body. Damnit, he knew he should have jerked off last night when he had the chance.

- “Oh my god, Mc I’m so–” 

- You wiped a bit off your cheek, slipping your finger in your mouth and letting out a hum. “You taste a bit bitter…”

- Instantly he pulled you up on the couch, sucking and nipping at your neck as you moaned a bit.

- He really, really, needed to know how you tasted as well. And, well….Hopefully that would make up for him being such a quick shot.

Jumin

- The marriage had been sweet, and ended with lots of cuddling on a plane as the two of you went to enjoy your honeymoon, something Jumin was very insistent on.

- As soon as the two of you landed, it was getting changed into something more appropriate, going off and enjoying the sites, having a nice romantic dinner

- And now the two of you finally made it to the place you were staying at for the next week. With just one bed in the room.

- He didn’t want to admit he felt nervous- What if he harmed you? What if he did so many things you didn’t enjoy? Expert Playboy only told him so much, and he wasn’t too keen on watching porn. Especially if Seven had his hands in the RFA’s search history.

- The two of you dressed in your sleepwear, then he coaxed you over to lay with him.

- Getting to finally hold you in his arms like this was amazing. He felt his chest swell every time you snuggled closer to him.

- “Mc?”

- “Yes, honey?”

- He gave your forehead a kiss at the nickname, his cheeks lightly blushing. “From my research, we’re not completely done for the day yet, are we?”

- Your face went red, but he started with gentle kisses to your lips, moving to your jaw, then to your neck, his fingers dancing around the hem of your shirt.

- Your breath hitched a couple of times, but you started working on unbuttoning his shirt, groaning when his hands started groping your breasts

- God, this felt amazing so far, from just barely doing the minimum. He focused on recalling all the tips in the magazine, some of the grosser things some board members had talked about drunk- Just anything he could apply to please you

- It wasn’t long before you were fully on your back, breasts heaving as he teased your clit, his boxers the only clothing left on him

- The way your cheeks flushed looking at his cock straining against his boxers made him want to take you instantly, but he needed to be patient, he needed to hold out a bit longer.

- But you gently squeezed his forearm, mewling a bit as he kept trying to rub your clit

- “Ju-Jumin, please, I want to feel your cock- I’m ready, just please.”

- He felt his eyes widen, but quickly cleared his throat and nodded, pulling his boxers off

- He teased you a bit more, the head of his cock barely entering you and pulling back out, making you let out the cutest whines. But finally, when he couldn’t even stand it anymore, he pushed himself fully inside of you, groaning along with you

- He stayed still for a moment, feeling how amazing it was to have you squeezing him so tightly. He tried to move, just one pump, but it was too much.

- As soon as he realized what had happened, his face was completely red, and he felt so ashamed when you let out a little questioning noise.

- “It…It seems that I’ve…” He trailed off, suddenly pissed at himself for cumming so damn early. You didn’t even get to enjoy anything.

- But you just squeezed his hand, placing a kiss on his cheek.

- “If you want…You could just use your fingers for tonight, tomorrow we could try-”

- “No, we’re doing this right tonight. I told you I would keep you up all nigh- I’m not going back on that now.”

- While he did finally get rid of his shame at how much you squirmed from his fingers alone, he promised himself that he was going to make you cum twice as much from his cock alone.

- (What the fuck did those magazines say about this situation???)

Zen

- You had been trying for ages to get him to have sex with you. 

- Inviting him in the shower? ‘Accidentally’ letting him walk in on you? Snuggling super close during a romance scene? All of them failed.

- And god, did he hate it.

- He wanted to fuck you, have you screaming his name so loud he was sure to get noise complaints- But was he ready??

- It had been a very, very, long time since he had, ahem, let the beast out. The last time was…Way too long ago.

- But all the teasing, and bluntness without saying anything, was starting to get to him. Starting to have his hand wandering when you weren’t there with him, and a few times when you were.

- Tonight was a bit better. You weren’t trying to throw more ‘hints’ his way, you were just snuggled up to him resting your head on his chest, tracing an imaginary circle on his ribs

- Yeah, he could handle this!

- But your fingers stopped, and you started to play with his hair a bit instead, making cute little noises as you shifted to look up at him

- “Your princess wants some kisses.”

- Oh no. He felt his cock twitch, but he tried his best to ignore it as he tipped your chin up, planting a soft kiss on your lips.

- “I can’t help but do as my princess wants~”

- But you pulled him back towards you, planting a few soft kisses, and then slowly making them more and more greedy.  You even slipped your tongue in, and when he groaned out he knew he was done for.

- He wanted to avoid sex at the moment, but tonight he didn’t have enough willpower.

- He grabbed your shoulders, pushing you to lay on your back as he slipped between your legs, leaning over to start sucking on your neck.

- You didn’t waste a second, especially since you had been trying to get to this point for ages. You wrapped your legs around his waist, grinning when he grinded against you with a low growl

- “You’ve been such a tease, princess, I can’t take it anymore.”

- As he pushed your shirt up, working on your breasts, he was frantically trying to recall all the moves he used to do back when he was in that gang.

- (God, it really had been forever!)

- Your hands fumbled with his shorts, yanking them down and giving his ass a firm squeeze, loving as he bit your neck in response.

- You were going to kill him. He wanted the first time to be sweet, romantic, but he couldn’t even control his thoughts right now. He just kept imagining how tight you would feel, how you would squeeze down on him-

- You reached and grasped his cock, starting a teasing pace as he leaked pre-cum already.

- Ah, fuck, fuck, he couldn’t take this. He ended up moaning into your shoulder as he jerked his hips in time with your pumps. One, two times, and he came.

- Kill. Him.

- He didn’t want to face you, he just closed his eyes tight as you pulled your hand away.

- “Zenny~ No fair, let me have fun too.”

- He took a deep breath and looked at you nervously- Only to be greeted with a firm kiss. You pushed his shoulder a bit, wriggling your hips.

- “Why don’t you put that mouth to better use~?”

- He looked a bit dumbfounded for a moment, but quickly slid back a bit, working on getting your pjs off.

- I mean… at least he had an impressive recovering speed? Hopefully luck would be on his side and let him recover fast enough to fuck you like he had been wanting.

V

- It…Had been a very long time. A long time since he was fully willing to have sex, at least.

- When the innocent cuddling on his bed got more perverse- Your hand slipping under his shirt and teasingly running your fingers so close to the waistband of his pants- Well… He did want it, it had just been ages

- He tried his best not to show it. Each feather-light touch he returned, every little breath you let out he had to stop himself from groaning

- He hadn’t realised how badly he wanted this from you

- Once the cute kisses died down, turning into panting breaths and low moans, you rolled yourself on top of him, straddling him and purposefully refusing to grind against him

- Were you trying to kill him? He needed this- He needed you

- His hands found your hips, holding you as he bucked his hips up with a barely contained groan. It had been too long, way too long, since he had felt so good from just teasing

- “Mc-”

- You leaned over, starting another string of greedy kisses, taking his will to talk and interrupt you away

- It didn’t take long for his hands to act on their own- Slipping under your shirt to grope, pushing your ass down so he could grind against you fully

- When you broke the kiss and let out such a sinful moan, he couldn’t do it anymore.

- “Mc, please- Now, now, please.”

- He felt your breath against his neck as you giggled, wiggling out of your underwear and pulling down his pants

- You took his cock and slid the head against your clit, making him bite down hard on his lip

- “Oh, god, Mc-” You were horrible but so fucking amazing. He wanted to thrust his hips up, slam into you with all he had-

- You let out a little mewl of pleasure as the head of his cock rubbed your clit just right, and suddenly you felt a hot spurt against you.

- He covered his face quickly, panting but letting out a sound of utter disappointment. 

- “It’s been ages, I just-”

- “Shh,” You leaned over, kissing his forehead. “ It’s fine.”

- But it wasn’t, was it? Your cheeks were still flushed, you were soaked but he knew you hadn’t came yet.

-… Was it too early to suggest…?

- “M-Mc, ride me.”

- “…What?”

- God, don’t make him say it again. He carefully squeezed his cock, feeling how sensitive it was, but he didn’t care. He wanted you anyway.

- He rubbed the head of his dick against your clit, then finally trailed it to your entrance, pushing the tip in and joining you in your moan

- “Jihyun-”

- He jerked his hips up, pushing into you fully, and the sound you made had him dig his nails into your thighs.

- “Ride. Me. I can take it.”

- He came early, but he was going to be damned if you weren’t going to be able to feel his cock slam in you tonight.

Saeran

- He had experience with women. Not exactly loving ones, but quick and hard fucks in the backs of bars or in hotels was what he was used to the most.

- And usually they all went well, except if the women tried being too clingy with him.

- He wasn’t expecting you to last so fucking long though

- The two of you were just cuddling on his bed, something he was always insistent on. But you were trying to find some funny things to show him on your phone, and he was tired of watching videos. 

- He ended up initiating it, slowly trying to tease you by acting like he wasn’t aware of where his hands were, but quickly dropping the act and pushing you on your back, grinding against you and slipping his tongue in between your bruising lips

 - It didn’t take long at all for both of you to rid each other of any fabric in the way, him burying his cock inside of you with a grunt and a low “Fuck,”

- Usually with the women he had fucked before, they came rather quickly… 

- But as he harshly slammed himself inside of you, finally being able to enjoy being inside of you, he felt himself coming closer and closer to the edge- And you definitely hadn’t came yet.

- He pulled your leg up a bit, pushing it flush against your chest to get a better angle to ram into you, letting out a growling string of curses as you tightened around him

- A few more jerks of his hips, and he easily came inside of you, groaning out and breathing harshly against your neck.

- He wasn’t expecting you to whine, though. He looked up, a bit confused, as you pouted.

- “You came already?”

- “…You didn’t??” He swore he had felt you tense up, dig your nails into him even more. What happened?? Oh god, was he losing his touch?

- You pushed him on his back, climbing on top of him and forcing his cock back into you, rolling your hips. “I wasn’t done yet~ Can you keep going?”

- The fuck he could, but his embarrassment didn’t let him say that. He gripped your hips, keeping you in place as he pushed as deep as he could inside of you, letting out a guttural groan.

- You let out a loud moan, starting a steady and heavy pace, drinking in how his cock hit your g-spot on every thrust.

- He hadn’t been overstimulated before, but he refused to argue against it. He apparently needed to build his stamina back up anyway…

Happy Mornings

A/N: I know I have been AWOL, my computer has been very stupid and annoying. Let me know what you guys think xox 

SMUT WARNING

Number Request from Smut Prompt List.

Masterlist

“You’re n-not, um, w-wearing anything under that, are you…?”                     “Are you trying to turn me on right now or are you really just that oblivious?”                                                                                                        “I-I just wasn’t expecting that. But I liked it. A lot.”


Keep reading

More Thoughts on KS Chapter 20

So, now that I have thought a bit more on the chapter and talked about it with a few people, I have more stuff to say! Buckle up motherfuckers. 

Warning: These are only some ways to interpret these scenes. Your opinion may differ. 


Table of Contents: 

  1. “What if she calls the police?”
  2. “I don’t feel anything.”
  3. “That’s it?”
  4. “I guess I was right. I mean nothing to you.”
  5. “I don’t need you, anymore. So, can you just disappear? You fucking murderer.” 
  6. “Let me go. I hate the outside.”
  7. “You’re the one that killed someone, what’s so scary?”
  8. “You’re definitely a virgin, huh?”
  9. “Do you have any idea how much planning I did for you?”
  10. “This feels so familiar.” 
  11. “Ha…finally. It feels like you are being honest.”
  12. “It’s your fault…”
  13. “You ruined the mood.”
  14. “There’s no way I’d do it without a condom.”
  15. “But you liked it so much you were going to cry just a minute ago…”
  16. “You said you were with her to the end! So why don’t you know?”

If you don’t want to read the whole thing I wrote, each point have a tl;dr that very briefly summarises what I talked about at the very bottom of them.

Keep reading

5

Jerome x Reader


“You should try talking to (Y/N), he was obsessed with her, you might get more answers.” One of the dancers pointed you out for Jim who hurried over and stuck his hand out for you to shake.

“I’m Jim Gordon, you’re friends with Jerome?” He asked and shoved his hand in his pocket when you glowered at it.

“No, he’s a nut job, why would I be friends with him?” You sighed, glancing at Lee when she hurried over.

Keep reading

Just Evan and Connor things.

Shout out to @kimberley-bx for chatting with me about DEH like all day. I haven’t felt this creative in probably months. (p.s. you’ve seen the first five of these already.)

Evan tries. Boy, does he try. He knows you can’t lov someone’s mental illness away; that’s not how it works but he tries his absolute best.

It kills Evan on every single one of Connor’s bad days. He has to sit and watch and sometimes it feels like he can’t do anything to help. He just wants Connor to see himself like Evan sees him. If he could Evan knows he would never hate himself again.

Evan’s social anxiety is better when Connor is around. When they’re together he can go out and feel better because with Connor no one else matters. Everyone else in the world fades away until it’s just the two of them.

Even though Evan’s anxiety has been better it still gets the better of him sometimes. But Connor is always there reminding him to breathe, pressing small kisses to his fingertips.

With Evan’s anxiety sometimes it’s hard for him to express how he feels verbally. So, he does it the only way he knows how. With letters. Sometimes they’re long emotional ramblings emailed to Connor in the dead of night. Sometimes they’re quick handwritten notes scrawled out on scrap paper shoved into Connor’s locker. Connor saves all of them.

Connor does everything he can to help with Evan’s anxiety.He orders Evan’s food for him, and tries not to push him out of his comfort zone too much. He does his best to make sure Evan is never talked over, or treated impatiently when he rambles.

Little by little Connor let’s go of all the pent up anger he’s had at the world as Evan helps him to see a new light, and that maybe not everyone is so bad.

Connor starts to laugh more. It’s not as rare an occurrence as it used to be, but that doesn’t make Evan appreciate it any less. It’s a reminder every time. A reminder that Connor is still here, and is still trying, and that even for a second he had happiness.

It doesn’t matter so much when they start being together at school. No one noticed them in the first place why would they start now? They both prefer it this way.

Connor can’t give Evan trees so he gives him flowers instead. It’s not a rare thing for Evan to have a flower on his desk, or Connor to pluck flowers of bushes to stick behind Evan’s ear. (Most of the time they’re actually weeds but Evan loves them all the same.” He presses them in books to keep.

Evan’s a clothes thief. Connor thinks it’s just because Evan is cold all the time when his sweater is always missing. But Evan just loves having a piece of Connor. 

The only plus to Evan’s anxiety is that he doesn’t have a brain to mouth filter when he’s rambling to Connor so he always says what’s on his mind such as “I know I just rambled for two minutes straight but the point of all that was that those pants make your shapes look good.” 

Will add more later.

Thoughts & Predictions: Chap 91

Ahh this chapter. I can’t even lie, after reading it all the way through; I absolutely love it. There is SO much to build off of here and so many directions Isayama could take this in but, knowing how this story is and seeing the subtle (not really) drops of foreshadowing in this chapter has me super excited. This makes for an interesting read because I’m 90% sure these fresh-faced kiddos are in for a very rude awakening when they see the reality of the world they live in.

DISCLAIMER: This is my personal opinion. In no way am I stating what I say here is canon or completely accurate. if you disagree with my opinion, that’s perfectly fine! Everyone has a different point of view, but if you are going to send me messages trying to argue point of views with me or send me hate messages, do me a favor and please just don’t even bother. 

“HOW DO YOU DESTROY A MONSTER WITHOUT BECOMING ONE?”

This is one of my favorite questions asked in the series because it perfectly sums up a lot of the picture Isayama is trying to portray in this universe. Where do you draw the line between someone who still retains a glimmer of humanity, and a monster? 

  • Man-eating titans who were once human. 
  • Human’s who can shift into man-eating titans. 
  • Human’s who sacrifice their morals for the sake of victory. 
  • Humans who sacrifice their morals for the sake of power. 
  • Humans who sacrifice humans all to achieve a goal. 

Where in all of this does humanity as a whole fall? Now that we see the state of the world outside of the walls, I cannot help but to think back to this conversation between Eren and Pixis here from chapter 12:

Eren, our “jump-the-gun” protag, calls out all of humanity right there. He see’s a bigger picture and graps it. Not to its full extent just yet but, he’s close.

So, what now? It’s been four years since this scene. The titans have been exterminated, the secret of the walls has been revealed, and so has their true enemy; other humans. So, what will they do? Will they kill everyone who gets in their way or will they finally unite? And if they do… How will that happen? 

Keep in mind that I am not just referring to the walled Eldians here. I’m talking about the ones across the sea as well. 

Will the Eldian people as a whole unite together to take down Marley and finally gain true freedom? Or will they kill each other because they stand at opposite ends of the same goal? 

I think there are TWO reasons Isayama jumped over to this group on the mainland so suddenly. Reason number one being to reveal this big guy right here:

FINALLY WE SEE THE NINTH TITAN! The Jaws Titan. I have no idea what he can do but, I am still super excited that we FINALLY know what he looks like. Let’s all be real, he looks badass. Plus, his role is bound to be an important one.

I believe the second reason Isayama hopped over to the mainland was to make us see the struggle of the Eldian people across the sea just so we would ask ourselves this question: 

Who actually is the “true enemy”

Is it Marley because of how they treat the Eldian people? Is it the rest of the world for waging war against Marley? Is it the mainland Eldian people who fight for Marley? Is it the Eldians of Paradis Island who fight against them and are called demons? 

Truthfully, I don’t think there is a correct answer here even though I’m sure we can all agree that the Marlian government is now the biggest issue. Still though, the lack of balance in this situation makes it all the more difficult to decide which side is right and which one is wrong.

On one hand, we see Eren and his group questioning whether or not killing other people will actually free them. We’ve seen Eren struggle to kill Annie which in turn gave her an out. We see Eren keep an important truth to himself in order to protect Historia’s life. We see Armin struggle with accepting that he shot and killed someone. We see Jean struggle time and time again with killing throughtout the entire series. We see Jean, Sasha, and Connie cry when they think they’ve killed Reiner. But at the same time, we also see what happened to the people of Stohess. We see the lives Erwin sacrificed. The people Levi has tortured or killed. We see what happened with Bertoldt. Killing one to save another and so on. We have SEEN the struggle of those in the walls and how hard it has been to retain even a semblance of humanity in their hearts. 

Then we see these new kids in the middle of a body strung battlefield discussing who’s going to win the opportunity to eat one of their own people and become a warrior. We see them calm and collected on the front lines. We see kids who are more than willing to take human life and who see no qualms in death. These are kids who are outright cannon fodder and they are, for the most part, completely chill about it. These are kids who have obviously also struggled but, in an entirely different way. To them, humans are evil if they are different. They haven’t lived through the struggle of Titans roaming their lands. They have NO IDEA what their distant people have suffered, and they have been brainwashed to believe that people who share the same blood as them deserve that fate. 

They believe they are the better Eldians. That they are the good ones. 

The only remaining people left in this story who could tie such vastly different thinking poeple together and give them a common ground to stand on are Zeke, Reiner, and Annie. 

I don’t see it being Zeke tbh but, I truly believe that ONE of the original titan trio will need to survive in order to make this happen and to also tell their full story, and I (personally) think that person will end up being Annie. It is really hard for me to see Reiner making it back to Paradis Island for a number of reasons. The main one being that the Marlian government is already trying to basically Hunger Games his power off. Annie though, she is already on the island. Still in her crystal and most likely still alive. Hence why she is being guarded underground. Those in the walls still believe her to be a threat and if she is still alive, being in the crystal probably prolonged her life with the titan ability. 

She sympathized with those in the walls. She did not want to carry out the mission in full and that was made very clear quite a few chapters ago. If there is one person from the mainland who can shine light on the entire situation for both ends of the Eldian people as a whole; it will most likely be her. 

However, I am not ruling Reiner out juuuuuuuuust yet. He does have respect for some of those in the walls and if there is one person who can help him get back to the Island in order to escape the Marlian government. It’s Zeke. 

Not only does Zeke have his own reason to escape since they are also trying to tranfer his power to someone else; but he also has a reason to return to the island beyond saving his own life. 

Saving Eren’s (or so he believes). 

I doubt highly that Zeke would leave Reiner to be eaten considering he’d probably need Reiner’s help in escaping. Not to mention that Zeke has already saved Reiner once before. 

What would have been the point of this scene right here if Isayama just planned to have the both of them easily killed off?

Let me go ahead and throw this out there. I DO NOT SEE ZEKE DYING ANYTIME SOON. Not just because of the unfinished plot points shown above but, also because of this extremely important and unfinished plot point too:

There is no way Isayama will just leave this as unfinished business, which brings me back to the kiddos in the trench in chapter 91. 

It’s obvious that the Marley government cannot continue to opporate as it does. It’s also obvious that these kids have seen war and have faced cruelty. But, they don’t know what it’s like to face titans. They probably have no idea what it means to be a warrior because If they did, I doubt they’d be so eagery hashing it out in the middle of a battlefield to gain said abilites. Cutting your life down to 13 years all for the sake of commiting mass genocide for a government that hates you and your people regardless of which land you stand on.

I’m sure that at this point, Reiner, who has lived on both sides, has asked himself what exactly he fought for and has wondered which side was right. Especially when I look back and wonder if the Marlian government ever informed their warriors that they’d only have 13 years left to live after gaining their power. Was it worth it to Reiner? To fight and kill just to be fed off to someone else once he became too weak? 

Was Bertoldt’s death really so cruel when he would have had to face the exact same fate at the hand of the government he faught and killed for once he returned to the home he so desperately missed?   

This doesn’t look like the face of a man who would say “yes”…

Ignorant, hopeful kids that are fighting to become monster’s in order to gain freedom stand on one side of the sea, and newly grown adults that are struggling to remain hopeful and that are fighting to retain their humanity in order to gain freedom stand on the other side. 

So where do you find some middleground?

The only three that remain and can stand in the middle are Zeke, Reiner, and Annie (maybe Armin if he has Bertl’s memories). Humans that can turn into man-eating titans that have seen what it is like on both ends of the spectrum. Beings that are both human’s and monsters. Reiner and Annie have lived it while Zeke is still ignorant to life in the walls. However, I do no see Zeke dying as I stated before.

So, will one of the Marlian warriors help bring human’s of the same origin together to change the world they live in? Will they come together against the common enemy of the Marley government? Or will they be doomed and continue to repeat history and fight and kill each other due to ignorance and misplaced hate?  

I have no idea but, I am hopeful for the Eldian people as a whole. They all want to be free from the prisons that hold them. Whether it be the districts on the mainland, or the Walls on the island. They all just want to fly and the only way they’ll truly be able to achieve that is if they all unite. 

How do you destroy a monster without becoming one?

By keeping your heart and mind open, even in the wages of war. If you want to fly like a bird, you have to be willing to see beyond the cage that holds you and share the sky with others who only wish to spread their wings just like you. 

I often miss you and not in the way I used to. You were my first love, my first sight of what I wanted in my future and so much more. I fell so in love with you so extremely fast and I often wish that wasn’t the case. You were only in my life for a few years, but somehow your presence still lingers here. I wish that you would just go. Take all of your lies, your false promises and your excuses and just leave my life. I’m not good enough and I never was good enough for you. I know you aren’t the man I need in my life to make me a better woman. But sometimes I wish you would’ve stayed just a little longer so I could’ve figured that out on my own. Because sitting here, missing you, wondering why you chose her has made me a person I never wanted to be. In love with someone who never loved me, and unable to let anyone break down the walls I have built to keep the memories of you out. So please, if there ever comes a day you decide you miss me, please just stay the hell away from me. I was never good enough. I was too young, too naive, too in love. Whatever you want to say, just know I would’ve done anything for you and I wake up every day trying to kill off the memory of you.
Thank you for breaking me in a way I didn’t know was possible.
But more importantly, thank you for making me who I am today.
Without you walking out and completely breaking me, I wouldn’t stand as tall as I do.
Thank you. Now get out of my head.
What I tend to see happening more and more is people retreating into their own corners. People seem scared to get things wrong or be shouted at so they form villages in which they agree with every other member, and maybe they go out and shout at the people in the next village for fun, but there’s no interchange of ideas going on. I think we have to encourage the idea that you’re allowed to think things. I have thought a great many stupid things over the years, and I can tell you that there’s not one stupid thing that I ever thought where I changed my mind because someone shouted at me or threatened to kill me. On the other hand, having great discussions with good friends, possibly over a drink, has definitely changed my mind and made me try to do better. You’re allowed to do better, but we have to let people do better.
—  Neil Gaiman

I feel like it’s impossible for me to explain how much I love Eliot Waugh. So let me start with some of his quotes.

“I bond fast. Time is an illusion.”

Quentin: If you’re trying to tell me that it gets better-
Eliot: Oh, God, no. It doesn’t. I’m trying to tell you, you are not alone here.

“I think something might really be…broken.”

“Becoming me was the greatest creative project of my life.”

“I know I said I didn’t need a family to become who I was supposed to be, but it turned out that I did. And it was you.”
—A letter Eliot wrote to Quentin

Dean Fogg: What were you expecting when you dove headfirst into that fountain?
Eliot: …I was expecting to die.

Eliot is so, so sad, and he is so, so tortured. By killing someone who made his life absolute hell, he discovered he was telekinetic. He had to kill someone else - someone he loved - to protect everyone else. He lost his two best friends for a period of time because of a stupid, under-the-influence decision he made, but the thing that killed him the most was the thought of losing Quentin - and only Quentin.

He threw himself - as his clay-made clone - in front of an attack directed at Quentin without even thinking about what could happen. He didn’t care what could happen to him. He threw himself in front of Quentin, in front of a fatal attack, as second nature. He didn’t care what happened to him, as long as Quentin was okay.

And, despite everything that happened, he still became the High King of Fillory. He will go down in Fillorian history as High King Eliot, The Spectacular, because that is what he is. Despite wanting to die. Despite the bad things that had happened to him. Despite all of that. He will still be known as one of the greatest Kings to rule over Fillory. And even though it is fictional, if that isn’t uplifting and if it doesn’t give you hope, there is something seriously wrong with you.

anonymous asked:

Prompts ? Modern AUs are my obsession rn .... maybe big brother rob trying to set up ha best friend and little sister. ??

Yesssss okay! 

Gonna do it from Robb’s POV so I hope it’s still fun to read. 


Gross But Cute: A Story of How Robb is the Best Big Brother Ever

In all honesty, this is the last thing Robb wants to be doing. He has exams coming up, a rugby tournament he needs to organise and a girlfriend he’d rather be snogging senseless. But his best friend is an idiot and so is his sister, so by virtue of the fact that he is clearly the smartest one out of their friendship group, Robb is resigned to playing matchmaker.

It’s a last resort.

If he could safely say the two idiots would be happy single, he’d probably leave it because the thought of his best friend anywhere near his baby sister is nauseating. It almost makes Robb want to punch Jon out of principle, and he might if Jon doesn’t get his head out of his arse soon, but he suspects if he lays a finger on the sullen man, Sansa would likely punch him in return. They’re fiercely protective of each other that way. It’s gross.

Robb remembers the first time he suspected there was more than just friendship between the two. Jon had gotten tackled so hard during an away game that he fractured a couple of ribs. He’d had to go to a hospital in Newcastle before being cleared to make the journey back to Edinburgh. When he got home, Sansa was already there waiting.

“You stupid, infuriating buffoon! Do you not know how to charge your phone?”

“Sans, can we do this later? I just want to lie down.”

“No! You can’t just… I can’t just get a text from Michael telling me you’re in the hospital and then nothing for the next six hours. That’s not fair!”

“I know… I’m sorry. I should’ve charged my phone. I should’ve called you.”

“Yes, you bloody should have!”

“Hey, hey, I’m okay now. Sansa, look at me, I’m fine. I’m here.”

“I’m not crying because I’m worried. I’m crying because I’m mad at you!”

“Really?”

“Fine, a bit of both… Just promise me you’ll always call, okay?”

“I promise.”

“Okay… Let’s get you to bed.”

Robb had had every intention of yelling at Jon because of course his idiot of a best friend would get seriously injured the one game he couldn’t attend, but after witnessing that exchange between Jon and Sansa, Rob decided he’d rather not be anywhere near the two for the next day or two.

As he wrapped his head around the idea of Jon and Sansa, he’d almost convinced himself that the feelings were completely one-sided and Robb was all ready to yell at Jon for leading his baby sister on, but then Sansa got a boyfriend and that changed everything. If Jon was broody before, he was even more of a fucking miserable sod for the next month. Robb wanted to kill him for being so annoying but he couldn’t really blame Jon. He hated Harry too, especially after they found out that Harry cheated on Sansa – which was why Robb did nothing when Jon punched Harry on a night out.

“You ever come near her again, I will break every bone in your pathetic body.”

“Fuck you! This is between me and Sansa.”

“There is no you and Sansa. You’re done. You’re fucking done, you got that?”

“… whatever.”

“No, you know what? It’s not whatever. You had her and you threw it away. How could you even do that? She’s… She’s Sansa. She’s fucking Sansa!”

At that point, Robb actually had to drag Jon away before the bouncers could come and kick them out. Frankly, he would have happily let Jon beat the living shit out of Harry but if he let the situation escalate any further and Sansa found out, she’d kill them both, and Robb’s not too ashamed to admit that he’s terrified of both of his little sisters. They’re terrifying women. They must have learned it from their mum. Catelyn Stark has made grown politicians cry, or so their dad likes to brag every now and then. Robb suspects it was probably one politician.

Now it’s up to Robb to sort these two out. If he doesn’t then they’re probably just going to continue to skirt around their feelings for one another and Robb hates that more than the thought of his best friend and sister getting together. At the end of the day, he does just want them to be happy and it’s clear that happiness for them is each other. It really is the grossest thing.

It’s easy to get Sansa to cook him dinner. She lives in a small flat in the city with her best friend, and thankfully Jeyne is more than happy to make herself scarce, which she says is ‘for the betterment of British society so that these two beautiful creatures can procreate and create more beautiful creatures.’ Robb may have gagged at that. If he can help it, none of his sisters will be procreating any time soon. And if they have to, it’ll be an immaculate conception. His nephew or niece will be the next saviour of the free world.

Once that is set, Robb makes his way to her flat to ‘oversee’ the cooking. Really though, while she’s busy in the kitchen, he goes about leaving candles all over the flat. Once he’s sure there’s enough, he texts Jon and sets his second step into motion.

Robb: Mate, we have a problem.

Jon: What’d you do now?

Robb: Why do you assume I did anything!

Jon: Because it’s you.

Robb rolls his eyes. Honestly, why is he bothering helping such ungrateful people?

Robb: Fuck off. This is serious. Jeyne told me that she heard Harry might be trying to win Sansa back.

There’s a long minute silence before his phone begins beeping with consecutive texts.

Jon: What does that even mean?

Jon: Does Sansa know? What is he going to do?

Jon: I’ll bloody kill that prick!

Robb smiles with the kind of mischievous glee he thinks he picked up from Arya. He almost wants to cackle but Sansa is in the next room and she’ll definitely be suspicious if he cackles.

Robb: Don’t know, mate. But I’m stuck at work. Can you just go to Sansa’s and make sure she’s okay for me? I don’t want the bastard showing up when she’s alone.

Jon: She’s alone? Where’s Jeyne?

Robb: She’s out of town for the weekend.

Jon: Okay, yeah. I’ll be right there.

Robb does let out a soft cackle this time as he gets up from the sofa where he’s been lounging. He pockets his phone and pokes his head into the kitchen. Sansa is draining spaghetti through a colander with her back towards him.

“Hey Sans, do you want some wine? I’ll pop out to the Bargain Booze for a nice bottle of red, yeah?”

“Sure, if you want,” Sansa answers absently. “I can’t drink much tonight. I have an early shift at the hospital tomorrow.”

“Cool. I’ll be back in a bit.”

“Okay.”

Robb slips out from the flat and rounds the corner to hide. It takes Jon nearly twenty minutes to finally get there and when he throws open the flat door in a rush, Robb has a shit-eating grin on his face.

Much to his delight, if he presses his ear to the front door, Robb can easily hear the future couple talking inside.

“Sansa? Are you here?”

“Jon! What are you doing here?”

“Why didn’t you tell me that Harry’s been trying to get back together with you?”

“What?”

“I could threaten him again. Evidently, the last time didn’t really get it through his thick skull.”

“Wait, what? Jon, what are you talking about?” A pause. “What do you mean, again?”

“Oh. Did… Did Robb not tell you about… Never mind, it’s nothing.”

“Jon Snow, what did you do?”

A longer pause and then a frustrated groan. “Look, Sans, he cheated on you! I couldn’t just let him get away with that, so I did what I had to.”

“Oh my god. You’re just as bad as Robb!”

Robb frowns, filing that away for later date when he can demand what the hell Sansa actually means by that, because frankly, he’s a great big brother. If he isn’t, would he be here right now trying to set them up? Of course not. He’s the best.

“I don’t need either of you to protect me. I’m not fifteen anymore. I can look out for myself.”

“I’m not saying you can’t but I’m always going to want to protect you. I can’t help it, okay? You’re you and… you deserve the best. You deserve better than someone like Harry.”

“I know that but if you keep scaring off every guy I try to date then who’ll that leave me with, Jon?”

Robb positively bounces on the balls of his feet, willing his best friend to step up. This is his chance. If he doesn’t bloody take it, Robb is definitely going to kill him.

“I… I don’t know. Is it wrong of me to think no one’s good enough for you?”

“No, but…”

There’s a long pause this time. At first, Robb thinks they’re speaking too softly for him to hear but he knows his best friend and he knows his sister. They’re at a crossroads and neither are brave enough to step forward.

“I hated seeing you with him, you know? Every time he touched you, I just wanted to hurt him, do anything to keep him away from you.”

Jon.”

“Shit, I… I don’t know how to say this. I’ve never been good with this stuff. And I know, fuck I know that I don’t deserve you either, and I am honestly happy to just be in your life as your friend. It’s more than enough for me but… but it’ll kill me if I don’t say it.”

“Say what?”

“… that I love you. That I’ve been in love with you for as long as I’ve known you. I guess at first it was just a stupid crush. I mean you hated me for the longest time and for some reason I thought that was cute.” There’s a bark of laughter; even from outside a door, Robb can tell it’s self-deprecating. “But then we became friends and you started really talking to me and I got to watch you grow up and it’s like… there’s no one that even compares to you. No one as smart or as kind or as blindingly loyal. You’re it, Sansa.”

“God, we’re stupid.”

“Pardon?”

“You and me. We’re so stupid.” His sister laughs. “Because I’ve been in love with you for just as long and I thought you only saw me as a little sister. I didn’t… If I had known –”

 Sansa’s words are cut short, and for a small moment, Robb has to wonder why, but then there’s a loud thud against the door and suddenly, he’s far too aware of what’s happening on the other side. This is why he didn’t want to get involved. This is why the thought of his best friend and his little sister made – and still makes – him so nauseated.

When he hears a soft moan from the other side of the door, Robb immediately hightails it out of there, desperate to drown out that sound with as much alcohol as possible, because that’s his baby sister. That’s the little girl in pigtails he used to carry around on his back. And now she’s making out with his best friend, whom he’s once seen throw up on himself at sixteen.

As he races down the street and far, far way from the couple, Robb has to admit that he’s thrilled for those two. In a weird sort of way, he’s glad that at least they’re kissing each other and not anyone else because Robb knows that there isn’t a bloody thing Jon wouldn’t do for Sansa. He’d protect her with his dying breath if he had to and that to a big brother is like rain in a drought.

And Sansa is good for Jon too. She makes him smile more than anyone else, Robb included, and Jon needs that. His life hadn’t been easy growing up. A single mother and an absent father meant Jon had to grow up faster than most and his outlook on life has always been shadowed by that past, but when he’s with Sansa, it’s like none of that matters anymore. It’s good. Gross, but good, and Robb is happy for them.

He’s even happier that he can lord this over their heads for the rest of their lives. That’s definitely the best part.