someone needs to take this show away from me it's ruining my life

Worse Than Nicotine

Prompt: “You’re the health-conscious med student and I’m the chain-smoking art student who’s also your barista and you leave me notes on smoking and lung health on your napkins and also a 20-page essay on lung cancer tucked under your saucer” AU. Where Sirius is the chain-smoking art student.

Word Count: About 5,500.

Warning(s): Smoking, sexual tension, kissing, motorcycle ride without all the gear. Don’t accept a ride from someone on a motorcycle unless they supply the proper gear and you’re wearing pants and a heavy jacket, preferably. Do some research before riding!

Note: Sort of a modern, college AU. This isn’t smut, but, I have to warn you, it does end up being smoking hot. Hah. Get it? Anyway, thank you @princesse-de-ravenclaw for reading this over!


To the barista with the pretty grey eyes,

Smoking can cause the lens of the eyes to fog up and the whites of the eyes to turn yellow. Don’t ruin their beauty. If not for yourself, then for those who have the pleasure of seeing them. ;)

Love, Y/N.

Sirius rolled his eyes, a slight chuckle escaping his lips as he pocketed yet another note from you. If you were to open a spare drawer in his flat, you would find a collection of tossed napkins with rushed scribbles littering the surface. Maybe one day Sirius would take your insistent advice, but right now, all he wanted was a drag.

“Another love letter from your favorite med student?”

Keep reading

Here’s the thing.

I am a transgender man (see photo of my mug for context).

I love all trans people and I love non binary people. But lately some of my trans spaces (both on the web and irl) that are mainly non binary have started to feel a little hostile.

I want to make something perfectly clear before I continue - I love and respect non binary people, I think their genders are valid and I am in no way suggesting they are any less important that myself or any other binary trans person. I also need you to understand that this isn’t meant to be a post calling out non binary people at all, it is just me talking about my personal experiences in the hope that it can get people to be a little more considerate sometimes?

In university spaces, it seems that there is a growing population of non binary people that tends to dominate trans groups. Which is good in lots of ways, especially since it shows how this generation has become much more relaxed and aware that gender is a construct and fluidity is key. However, amongst people I know there is a lot of ‘ew gross men’, or 'ew gross trans men that are masculine’, while at the same time being predominantly DFAB populations.

Now trust me, I very much understand the dislike a lot of dfab trans people have of men. A lot of us are survivors and I think that does play a big part in how we feel about the gender overall. Not to mention it is not uncommon for men to be, for lack of a better word- wankers. However, I don’t think people consider trans men when we are talking about this.

Making a comment like 'ew men are so fucking gross’ to a room of trans people means that to a trans man you are saying one of two things - 1) you are gross, or 2) you aren’t gross because you’re not a Real Man, and you are excluded from this statement because you are and always will be, partly a woman. Even now I feel uncomfortable 'complaining’ about this. I have to remind myself that just as suggesting that a trans woman is somehow different to other women would be considered incredibly offensive, so is it for trans men.

I didn’t realise how much this stuff affected me until it did. Constantly being around people that talk about, how body hair on men is gross, masculinity is by default toxic, making jokes about my masculinity being toxic when I excitedly tell people that I’ve started going to the gym and its making me feel better about my body. No, it’s not funny. It’s MY dysphoria I’m trying to ease. I as a trans person want to feel supported and loved when I do things that have a chance of making me feel good about my body.

It hit me like a brick wall when I realised how much it had affected me. I was with my partner, and was trying to have sex, but I just broke down. I felt so incredibly disgusted with my body and myself. So much hair, so masculine. The noises I made, gross. The way I touched him, creepy. I couldn’t get out of my head the idea that later in life he would talk to people about how gross and unshaven I was, just like I had heard friends describe ex boyfriends so many times before.

I felt cheated because these were the changes I WANTED my body to make. But now they felt ruined. Spoiled.
It was after that realisation that I decided I had to get out. I stopped going to some of student socials and instead started attending a group for older trans people. It was so refreshing to meet other trans men for once (just because I rarely meet them at uni, and it was nice to talk to someone similar.) It was awesome to be around people who weren’t shitty about trans people being stealth (as I remember I once was.)

There are some important things to take away from all of this:

1) Telling trans boys and men that they are disgusting for wanting to be like men will only destroy self esteem and feed into the toxic environment that a lot of cis boys grow up in.

2) Non binary people are extremely valid and awesome, but also must accept they have a responsibility to cultivate a supportive and friendly atmosphere in spaces where they are dominant (I put this in here for university spaces especially)

3) Laughing at a trans man/woman for being excessively masc/fem presenting if you are a dfab nb person who mainly presents as fem or androgynous is facetious and not respecting that they may have to present that way to stay safe, (especially in the case of trans women that may be more 'obviously trans’) and that despite suffering prejudice in many ways, the one thing you are not realistically facing is street violence and such because you inevitably are not going to be clocked as trans. (which yes, does NOT make your transness invalid but we have to respect the different struggles people in our community face.)

4) Someone being stealth does not mean they are adhering to 'toxic gender roles’. It means they are either 1) trying to be safe or 2) surprise surprise they want to live their life as the gender they identify with. Trans people are not less legitimately trans because you think they are 'acting cis’.

5) Being a binary trans person does not give you privilege over nb people. Like seriously, trans women are literally the most likely to be murdered. Don’t be a dick. Erasure is a problem yes but it’s not the same. I read names out at the TDOR vigil and pretty much all of them were trans women of colour. Respect that. Help the community. This isn’t about scoring points over who has it the shittiest.

6) The idea that the only good kinda of trans men are 'soft sensitive kinda trans masc guys that don’t have surgeries and shave all their body hair’ is shitty and offensive (tho that kind of trans man is totally valid, that not what i mean). Its shitty because one you’re sexualising them either as more childlike or more feminine (both is rude, former is creepy), but its perpetuating the idea that trans men aren’t really men and the best ones are the ones that YOU think still kinda look suitably enough like women.

Title:  What You Need

Summary: After a stressful review meeting Draco thinks maybe its about time Harry were honest with himself.

Word Count: 1977

Read below or HERE on my AO3


Draco can feel the tension in his body twisting and turning, slowly ebbing away as he and Harry leave Robards’ office in a hurry.  He’d been dying to get out of that meeting from the moment it had begun this morning. 

It had been a mandatory review of all of their cases from the last six months.  Apparently the head of the department had decided that no one was exempt from the intense scrutiny they’d just faced over the last two hours.  Hell he had expected it to be brutal based on the chatter around the Auror office from those who had already faced their own review, but even he couldn’t have anticipated the kinds of questions they would ask.

“And do you feel your relationship with Mr. Potter is completely professional?”

“Mr. Malfoy, have your feelings for Mr. Potter ever gotten in the way of your ability to make an unbiased call in the field?”

“Mr. Potter, there is a history of rash decisions in your case file.  Do you believe yourself of sound mind and judgement in the heat of the moment?”

“Gentleman, have you ever had more than a professional working relationship with your Auror partner?”

They’d claimed the questions were standard, and would be the same for all partners regardless of gender or sexual orientation.  A necessary precaution they’d called it.  But Draco had felt his insides churning at the questions, his mind over run with thoughts and desires which he usually worked very hard to keep below the surface.  He had answered them with a cool and calm countenance that had betrayed nothing of his true feelings.

Harry on the other hand had begun to get agitated the second they’d questioned his personal life.

“I’m a damn good Auror and what I do off the clock is none of your business.”

They were partners.  Friends.  And yet Harry had bristled at the insinuation they were more, refusing to answer the questions which Draco was sure only made things about a hundred times worse.  

By the time they finally reach their office Harry is in a right mood, ripping his Auror robes off and flinging them on the chair in the corner.  He takes his glasses off next, setting them on the desk and rubbing his face with both hands.  He looks tired, stressed.  It’s not the first time Draco has wondered why Harry is still an Auror.  He’s good at it, damn good in fact,  His reflexes are excellent and his experience with Dark Wizards invaluable.  But even after three years working together Draco can see that he still has trouble taking orders; he’s brash and though his instinct are usually right he follows them blindly.  Mostly though, despite how good he is at his job he just doesn’t seem happy.

Draco watches with curiosity as Harry just drops to the floor, as if he truly cannot take another moment of anything, running his hands through his hair before laying down.  He feels guilty for the thoughts that run through his mind, the way he can’t take his eyes off the strength in Harry’s forearms, or the space between his legs.  H knows he shouldn’t be thinking those things when Harry is clearly struggling.  But the questions had been too much, had brought too much to the forefront of his min,  and though he might not be showing it outwardly Draco feels just as close to exploding as Harry looks.

“Do you regret it?” Harry asks quite suddenly, startling Draco out of his thoughts.

“Regret what?”

“Becoming an Auror?”

Of all the things Draco thought the other man might say that is not one of them.  He thinks back on the brutal years in training, of the distrust and harassment he had faced when he first joined and the hard work and determination it had taken to get anyone to take him seriously. He thinks back to when they had first become partners and the way they had argued and clashed just as intensely as they had in school, until one day after a bad case when they’d both ended up at the same bar and gotten pissed after work together.  The next day he couldn’t remember what either one of them had said or done, and truth be told he still has no idea if Harry ever remembered because they never discussed it, but things had changed after that.   They had begun working as a team, and before Draco had known what was happening they weren’t just two people being forced to work together they were partners; a well functioning team that both trusted and relied on one another.  

He looks at Harry now, sprawled out on the floor looking tense and unhappy, something Draco now knows he hides from almost everyone else and he wonders what it means that Harry trusts him with the ugliest sides of himself so implicitly.  

Draco doesn’t usually stop to think about his own feelings, not after having worked so hard to push them away.  He regrets many things in his life, but becoming an Auror is not one of them, not when it has led him this.  Whatever this might be.

“No, I don’t.”

Harry’s shoulders tighten and Draco wonders when exactly he learned to read the other man so well.  He looks angry, at himself Draco thinks, and guilty.  

“You know its ok to hate your job.”

Harry jerks his head up in surprise, his brow crinkling in confusion.  “But you just said-”

“I know perfectly well what I said.  I answered your question honestly.  You just didn’t ask the right question.”  Draco crosses his legs, leaning back in his chair and watching Harry throw his hands in the air before dropping his head back to the ground with an audible thud.

“Well what the bloody fuck was the right question?”

Draco can’t help it, he laughs.  Harry shoots him an angry look.

“I’m so glad you find this so funny.”

“Always so fucking melodramatic, Potter.”  Draco knows exactly what to say to get a rise out of him and Harry is on his feet in seconds.  

“That meeting was a load of shit.  We’re the best Aurors in the department and they know it.” 

“Are you angry because they questioned your work ethic or because they questioned our relationship?”  Draco says, and is surprised at how good it feels to say something.  To acknowledge them in some way, even if they have no idea what they are.  

Harry opens his mouth to speak and then stops as if he’s thought better of it.  He suddenly looks so unsure, and so much younger than his twenty seven years.  He rubs his hands on his shirt almost unconsciously and just stares at Draco.

“Do you want to know what I think?” Draco asks, rising from his seat and closing the small distance between them.  He can practically feel the tension in Harry’s body, the air nearly crackling with it.  “I think you’re tired of all of it; of the protocol and the bureaucracy and the phoniness.  You’ve spent your entire fucking life saving everyone else and being who they needed to be and I think you’ve finally had enough.  Today.  Right now, Harry.  You’ve had enough.”

Harry sucks in a deep breath, and Draco has no idea what to expect because he knows he’s crossing that forbidden line that says neither one of them will acknowledge real feelings but he doesn’t care because he can’t stand another day of pretending either.

“Aren’t you tired of being what everyone else needs you to be?  Don’t you want to get what you need for once?”

Harry licks his lips, still unable to move from his spot as if his feet have been spelled to the floor.  “And what exactly is it you think I need?”

Fuck it Draco thinks, he’s come this far already.  Instead of saying anything he reaches out, his hands sliding into Harry’s hair and gently urging him closer.  He presses his lips to Harry’s, afraid for a moment he’s made a mistake and gone too far but then Harry is nearly clawing at him, his hands grabbing onto Draco so tightly it almost hurts. 

The kiss is almost brutal, desperate, and so fucking good Draco stops trying to hold it in and just moans into Harry’s mouth which only spurs the other man on even more.  Draco’s hand is sliding down Harry’s back when there is a knock on the door and they spring apart just seconds before the door flies open.  It’s Robards.  Draco has never wanted to curse someone as badly as he does right in this moment.  His heart aches and he just knows the moment has been ruined, that this interruption has shattered whatever fragile thing they were beginning.

“Listen, Potter, Malfoy, about before I-”

“I quit!” Harry shouts and Draco’s mouth falls open in the most un-Malfoy like display of shock he’s ever shown.

“Excuse me, Potter, you can’t quit!”

Draco doesn’t even look at Robards, because he can’t take his eyes off Harry.  Harry looks giddy, euphoric even, and it reminds Draco of the way Potter used to look after he’d caught the Golden Snitch.

“Yes, Sir, I can.  I quit.  I hate my job,” he shouts, and then he begins to laugh.  Robards looks like he thinks Harry might have lost his mind.  “God that felt good to say out loud.  I FUCKING HATE MY JOB!” he screams even louder, making several of the other Aurors peek their heads down the hallway and through the open door to their office.  

Robards holds his hand up to silence him but Harry is paying him no mind.

“I hate the paperwork and the assignments and the bloody protocol that makes no sense sometimes and I hate the awful hours.  Fuck I hate everything about it except that I get to work with you,” Harry says, turning to look at Draco with a look so pure in intensity Draco is glad he’s sitting down already.

“And what about you, Malfoy?” Robards asks, sounding equal parts confused and helpless.

“Oh I quit too. I detest this job.”

“I thought you said you didn’t regret becoming an Auror?” Harry asks suddenly, as if he’s forgotten Robards is just standing there watching them.

Draco shrugs, almost nonchalantly.  “I don’t regret it, not at all.  But I still fucking hate this job.”

“Then why don’t you regret it?” he asks, and Draco wonders how it’s possible that other man really doesn’t see it.

“Because you oblivious idiot, I’m in love with you.  Pretty sure if you jumped out this window right now I’d follow you like a lovesick puppy.  It’s absolutely pathetic,” he answers in the most self deprecating tone possible.

“Oh.”

“Yes, Harry.”

“Well, that’s rather good then isn’t it.  Because I’m in love with you.”

“Right, well I’ll just be leaving now,” Robards mumbles awkwardly before shutting the door behind him.  Neither Harry nor Draco pay him any attention.

“So, before….when you said you knew what I needed,” Harry begins to say, crossing the room until he’s standing directly in front of Draco with his hand outstretched.  “What if you showed me instead.”

“I can’t think of anything I’d like more,“ Draco answers, taking Harry’s hand in his own and thinking that maybe what they both want and need might just be the same things.

anonymous asked:

don't know if you watch pd101 but if you do could you pleaaaase write a kang daniel college!au? he has effectively ruined my life 🙃🙃🙃🙃

i do!! ill write a mini one for him ^^

  • major: public health + paramedic certificate because he wants to work as a part of an ER response team
  • sports: dance team, football team
  • is essentially the school sweetheart and everyone knows him as the guy who’d give you the shirt off his back if you asked
  • quite literally,,,,jisung played a joke once and asked daniel if he could borrow his shirt because his next period class was SUPER cold and daniel,,,,,,,,,,literally took off his shirt
  • rumor has it some chick fainted from the sight of his bare shoulders but no one knows if this was confirmed or not (seongwoo claims it totally is true)
  • but like he really does his best to try and help others out,,,especially freshman or younger students in the course who seem to be struggling with adjusting to like college life
  • he’s like the reliable big brother who is smiley and soft and will teach you silly dance moves on the quad
  • but is also super serious about helping people and isn’t scared of anything, from jumping into a fire to save someone in need of medical assistance to carrying people who’ve broken legs,,,,,,,
  • also let’s take a moment to imagine daniel in the paramedic like get up like the uniform,,,,thank u 
  • everyone thinks its super adorable that daniel’s first rescue story was saving his cat who got stuck in a tree
  • like how TYPICAL and CORNY but also,,,,,,he’s an angel who walks the earth amiright
  • seongwoo is always like “my bestfriend is going to be the next iron man~ captian,,,,where did you study again my dude??? canada?? captain CANADA” 
  • and daniel is like embarrassed but also,,,,,he loves his friends and is happy they support him but seriously captain canada thats worse than when jisung got the football team to refer to him as quarterback cat-lover
  • you’re actually one of the TAs for one of the tests in the paramedic course and there’s a requirement of paramedics being able to carry at least 125 pounds by themselves and you’re supposed to be checking off who can pick up the human dummy and who cant
  • and so you’re going down the list and ur like “next,,,,kang daniel?”
  • and you don’t look up when he steps over you just motion with your hand toward the dummy and you’re like “pick him up and walk three laps around the room”
  • and when you look up you almost drop your clipboard because ,,,, this handsome boy smiles and is like sure!! and uve never seen someone so happy to drag around a plastic human before
  • but there he is,,,,hosting the dummy up like it weighs n o t h i n g
  • and he turns to u and is like “can i try carrying two?” and ur like ,,,,uh,,,,,s,,,sure???
  • and once again he baffles you,,,picking up the other dummy and going on his merry way
  • and in what seems like the shortest period of time than everyone else you tested he does his three circles and stops in front of you
  • carefully setting the dummy’s down and wiping at his forehead,,,,that pretty grin on his face
  • and he’s like “all good??”
  • and ur like,,,,y,,,yes,,,,um,,,,,,,,yes you’re good
  • with a bow he says thanks and leaves the room and you’re like what,,,,,,who,,,,,,,,,,,,,
  • and you look down at his name again and you’re like “kang daniel,,,,,,,are you superhuman/!??!?!”
  • for the next week you can’t get him off your mind,,,and you’re sure it’s because he’s not only strong and cute but because you’ve been a TA for the program for this whole semester and no one has ever just looked that happy to do the tests
  • and one afternoon you’re eating lunch with a friend in the campus cafe when you spot daniel,,,,at a table with his health books stacked up near his tray (which is also stacked with food)
  • ad at some point ur friend is like heY,,, hEY stop staring you’re going to DROOL
  • and ur like !!!!!! WOOPS but they also nudge and are like “kang daniel huh? he’s cuuuuute~ go talk to him!!!” and ur like HA,,,I ,,,,,,,,wasn’tlookingathimiwaslookingathis,,,,,sandwich
  • and ur friend rolls their eyes but when u look back daniel???? is staring back at you
  • and when you make eye contact he perks up and waves and ur like ?????????? looking around and then pointing at urself and he nods and waves u over
  • and u get up and ur friend lets out a whistle as you go to sit beside him and ur like ,,,,hey,,,, and he smiles again and the way his cheeks go up and his teeth show is SO DAMN CUTE
  • and he’s like “not to sound full of myself but i noticed you were looking at me for a while, whats up?”
  • and you,,,,,,almost dIE of embarrassment on the spot because oh frick he saw you
  • but you’re also like o,,,oh i ,,,i was just,,,,,um,,,,,,ur the guy who carried two dummies at the test a week ago??? and i was like oH is that you or not you you kno-
  • but daniel just chuckles and closes his book 
  • and he’s like “yep that was me,,,,,but i dont think thats why you were looking.”
  • and you feel ur mouth go dry and you’re like i,,,, um– but daniel just points to your friend with his pen and is like “do you think they’ll be ok with me stealing you away for a little date to the movie tonight?”
  • and ur like!!!!!!!!! ,,,, o,,,oh and u look at ur friend who just shooting hearts and thumbs up at u
  • and daniel is like lol they remind me of jisung but ur also like ,,,, i,,,i think ,,, they’ll be ok with that
  • and daniel winks,,,handing you the pen and rolling up his sleeve
  • and he’s like “here, write your number down and ill call u to set up a time”
  • and u cant believe it as you’re scribbling down ur number,,,,,but it’s true he calls u around 7 and u guys go see a movie and it’s adorable and daniel is a gentleman through and through paying for everything,,,,,telling you he likes the way you look all serious during the dramatic scenes,,,,holding your hand when he takes you back to your dorm
  • even a light kiss on your forehead,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,it’s a dream come true
  • dating college!daniel: he is really good in all his classes but he tends to be LATE so he’s always rushing in the morning but he never fails to send you a ‘good morning, i love you’ text, doesnt really like coffee so u get into the habit of buying him smoothies and he thinks its cute how u remember this about him also those smoothies are really good for his vegetable intake u are so thoughtful, you and daniel adopt the newest paramedic trainee woojin, daniel is suchhhhh a tease he always sneaks up behind you when ur studying to wrap u up in his arms and kiss on your neck, jisung always makes faces when u guys pda but tbh he loVES seeing daniel so happy with you, seongwoo is like “im his original soulmate” but he’s just joking hehe, daniel sends u pics of cats he sees on the street, you guys get matching rings like a month into it because kang daniel goes HARD for love, favorite dates range from laser tag to night fireworks on the beach, thinks its cute when you wear his flannels to class or during finals because u guys are both studying and u cant see him so often but they remind you of him, daniel takes you with him to get his first tattoo and u hold his hand the whole time, he’s kinda bad at realizing he isnt invincible so sometimes ull find scrapes on him and have to bandage him up, did anyone say morning after laughter under the sheets: yeah i did for KANG DANIEL who loves skinship and YOU 
Business and Pleasure - Part 10

Summary:  Bucky AU. After a major deal falls through, your father’s business almost falls apart. In a desperate attempt to save his livelihood, he seeks the help of his oldest friend, George Barnes, who happens to be the CEO of one of the most influential businesses in New York. He agrees, but on one condition. You have to marry his son.

Word Count: 2,201

Warnings: Swearing


Originally posted by little--batman


The two of you had fallen into silence, both seemingly lost in thought. The appetizers were delicious, but you couldn’t do more than pick at them. You were too distracted by your thoughts to focus on eating.

So much had happened in so little time. Sure, it seemed like you had your best friend back, but who knew how long that would last. He seemed sincere earlier, but there was no way to guarantee that the two of you wouldn’t get into another stupid argument and find yourselves right back where you started.

Keep reading

The Only Exception (Part 5)

Summary: AU. Reader is given the task of running a popular love advice internet show when her coworker is fired. Her cynical attitude toward love makes her offer some harsh advice, and more than a few hearts are caught in the aftermath. Will hers be one of them?

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x reader

Word Count: 3,844

Warnings: language, fluff, angst, sarcasm, hot firemen, draaaamaaaa, did i mention angst? this is getting ridiculous.

A/N: Cliffhangers are mostly unintentional. I got so many ACK HOW COULD YOU DO THAT TO ME messages that I wanted to post the next part. Warning: it’s mostly just to move the plot along.

Part - 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 -

Originally posted by sebuttianstans

Keep reading

horizon zero dawn // inspired starters

❛ you know what? when we met, i thought i was a big shot talking to a pretty girl hidden away in the middle of nowhere. ❜   
❛ try not to forget about me while you’re out there changing the world. ❜  
❛ i’m already under some heavy divine pressure. but i’ll try to live up to it. ❜  
❛ after all that’s happened, all you’ve done…i feel like i should drop to your knees and worship you. ❜
❛ for you sake, i must go where you will never find me. this is goodbye. ❜  

❛ i’ll always have a minute for you. maybe even two. ❜  
❛ i knew there was something about you. hammered from the stuff they make leaders out of. ❜  
❛ he’s smiling at us. ❜  

❛ i remember yelling that i didn’t care. ❜  
❛ you have to use your smarts to count for something, to serve life, not death. ❜  
❛ if you had had a child, what would you have wished for him or her? ❜  
❛ do you really not hear how ridiculous that sounds?  ❜  
❛ confidence is quiet. you’re not.  ❜  

❛ ha. it was just an instant, but i knew. i knew we’d be forever. ❜  
❛ i’ve done all i can. from here on out, the rest is up to you. ❜  
❛ there’s so much more to discover before the world ends.   ❜  
❛ the way you smiled…i had to look away or you were going to see. on my face. what had just… blossomed inside me, you know? ❜  
❛ as it turned out, it was your world all along. i was merely… trespassing. ❜  
❛ you just can’t leave me alone, can you? ❜  
❛ turn your face to the sun. ❜
❛ why is it, every time something terrible happens, everyone tells you the worst thing that ever happened to them, as though that makes it easier? ❜  
❛ no —- you don’t need to bow. ❜  

❛ the strength to stand alone is the strength to make a stand. ❜  
❛ what’s that now? don’t like the cold? ❜  
❛ welcome to my ravine of death.  ❜
❛ keep moving or you’ll die!  ❜        
❛ hey. my eyes are up here.  ❜  
❛ you defeated it…alone?  ❜  

❛ today i speak your name - but will the goddess speak it back? ❜
❛ you must be humble and respect their power. ❜  
❛ i’m here and wherever you go, i will follow. ❜  
❛ even a king can learn his lesson. ❜  

❛ we can still have a party, right? sure we can. ❜  
❛ what is that on your face? ❜  
❛ the wilds can be dangerous. you need to stay close and do as i say. ❜
❛ so? what do you say? how about we try and kill each other?  ❜  

❛ you’re still scratched up from the fall you did yesterday. ❜  
❛ what do you think i’m doing? taking a nap?  ❜  
❛ guess we can’t have everything.  ❜  
❛ so that’s what this is? a tantrum? a cry for attention?  ❜  

❛ never celebrate a victory before it’s earned. ❜  
❛ you’re bleeding. let me have a look. ❜  
❛ you’re an idiot. a dangerous idiot..but an idiot.  ❜  
❛ you were only chosen because you were a fool, too stupid to realize you were being used. ❜  

❛ not everyone follows the law like you do. ❜  
❛ take this, to … remember. ❜
❛ my fight. i can’t ask you to come with me. ❜
❛ you survived! i thought you were killed. ❜
❛ we have more important things to do than ask questions.  ❜  
❛ that could be the least creepy thing you’ve said to me.  ❜  
❛ rough going but you survived.  ❜       

❛ this attachment to me will only hold you back. ❜  
❛ you will turn back - or bleed. your choice. ❜  
❛ you can sense it. you already know you’re going to lose. ❜  
❛ i need to catch a breath.  ❜  

❛ you know, i often think of the day i gave you that scar. it’s a cherished memory. ❜  
❛ are you going to shut your mouth? because that would be a surprise. ❜
❛ it’s time to make your first kill. ❜  
❛ why are you talking like we’ll never see each other again? ❜  
❛ you can be a real lard sometimes. cut it out. ❜  
❛ i’m not afraid of you. i’m not afraid of anything. ❜  
❛ now if you’ll excuse me, i’m going to get some sleep. i plan to be well rested when i run you into the ground tomorrow. ❜
❛ not all comforts are bad. ❜  
❛ better dead last than dead altogether. ❜  
❛ no witnesses! no survivors! ❜  
❛ are you crazy? you’re going to kill yourself! ❜  
❛ i suppose you leave that part out of the story when you tell it, don’t you? ❜
❛ ugly and ancient? like your mother? ❜
❛ to answer for what i’ve done, the lives i’ve ruined? yes. i am ready. ❜  
❛ they can’t shoot if they’re dead. ❜  
❛ hello, old friend. remember me? ❜
❛ i’m more than a threat. ❜   
❛ i don’t think either you or i are ready for that. at least not yet. ❜  

❛ i’ll take that lunch. alone. ❜  
❛ i could use someone like you by my side. ❜     
❛ we still have so much to discuss. so much you never revealed. ❜

❛ you’re lucky i happened by. one half a heart beat more, and that creature would’ve torn you in half. ❜ 
❛ i crave vengeance, do you? ❜
❛ a bold claim. i wonder if you’ll live up to it. ❜  
❛ hmm. i love your hair. ❜  
❛ still alive. good. i have a more suitable death for you in mind. ❜  
❛ knowledge has its rewards, don’t you think? ❜

❛ he was a better man than what you’d ever hope to be! ❜  
❛ i’ll remember those words when i watch your corpse burn. whatever’s left of it. ❜  

❛ i will not be worshiped! i don’t belong to you! ❜
❛ impossible. i am chosen. this was not meant to be! ❜

❛ you don’t approve? well, i have a secret for you. neither do i. ❜  
❛ well, to start, you’re strong, shrewd and capable.  ❜  

❛ we must be patient. change doesn’t come in a sunrise.  ❜  
❛ they tried to break me. shows what they know. ❜  
❛ i should have been with you. why didn’t you come for me? ❜  
❛ may the dawn find you, the day warm you, and the dusk have light to guide your path.  ❜  
❛ the better man is the one who doesn’t end up with their steaming guts on the ground. ❜
❛ once one threat is dealt with, another one looms. ❜
❛ if i live or die, they’ll call my name. ❜  
❛ i don’t usually fight if i don’t have to, but if i have to, i want to. ❜  
❛ we’ve only met a few times and yet you know me so well. ❜  
❛ i thought you just wanted tea and conversation. ❜  
❛ i wasn’t expecting to find a half clad soldier singing like a drunk.  ❜    
❛ you don’t hear me laughing.  ❜
❛ i came prepared. have arrows enough to take down armies. ❜  
❛ it’s settled. i’ll fight by your side. my only request. ❜  
❛ the wrongness here jags at me like a ❜  
❛ tomorrow, may the sun rise on a better world. ❜      
❛ you can’t ask me to stand by and watch. not when i have the power. ❜    
❛ this isn’t home anymore. ❜  
❛ my will is like the oldest ice! ❜  
❛ your whole life was a failure, and soon no one will even remember you. ❜     
❛ will change happen, if men continue to live in palaces? ❜  
❛ i did say not to break anything, didn’t i?  ❜
❛ you should sleep, if sleep comes.  ❜        
❛ i kept thinking of the moment my knife pierced your throat. one twist, a simple tug of the blade, and you would bleed out. ❜  
❛ how can you sleep, with a weight like that pressing on you? ❜  
❛ i’m not here to intrigue you. ❜  
❛ no more playing around. you’re going to have to grow up. ❜
❛ no rest for the weary, huh? ❜  
❛ don’t worry. i’ll be there for you. ❜  
❛ to say you have my gratitude feels woefully insignificant. ❜  

ficlet: all the glory that i bare (even/isak)

Summary: Isak buzzes his hair off on a dare. Even suffers through the five stages of grief. (a.k.a., yes, I wrote a ficlet in response to Tarjei’s new haircut. Sorry not sor—you know what, yes, actually I am very sorry.) Can also be found on AO3 here.


Denial

When Isak walks through the door, Even does a double take.

Okay, maybe it’s more like a quintuple take. Who’s counting?

“What did you do to your hair?” he blurts, and it maybe comes out a little sharper than intended, because Isak winces pretty hard at his tone.

But…he just walked through the door…like that. Like it was no big deal. Like the Earth hadn’t just shifted on its fucking axis. Like Even’s entire reality wasn’t suddenly crumbling around him.

So, yeah. Faced with this…this travesty…Even can hardly be blamed for his reaction.

“Is it bad?” Isak asks, rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly. “We got so drunk last night, and I can remember Magnus daring me to buzz it off but I honestly don’t remember actually doing it.”

Even’s going to find Magnus. He’s going to find Magnus, and he’s going to have words with him. Man to man. Dude to dude. Fist to face.

Okay, maybe not that last one. Even’s not a violent guy.

But still.

Keep reading

MITSU’S TOP TEN ANIME OF 2016

Wow what a shit year! Not for anime, I mean, it was okay at worst. I think we’re definitely at the upward slope of the anime renaissance now, but still at the very start of it. It’s hard to think about that when most of what comes out (and is somehow popular) is just…the most generic shit. Well, I did the work for you. I weeded and trudged through some of the worst anime around and even some of my shit favorites to bring you the actual good, worth watching anime of the year.

Yeah, not everything you saw or want to see on this list is here, but you can check my foreword from last week that explains all that garbage. Links to each anime’s respective review will be on the titles (and added for those that just finished). Know that this list is pretty fluid. From 8 or 7 up, it’s all very much I loved them, but the higher up, the more I recommend anyone watch them.

10. Magical Girl Raising Project

Madoka was cool. I finally watched it this year and I was just as blown away by the psychological aspects as I expected to be. It just lacked that extra bite it needed to really scare my pants off. MGRP however, did indeed take a few years off of my life. I’m really in ruins right now since I can grab you by the shoulders and tell you now: you’ll like a lot of these characters and their thought out designs and personalities, but don’t get attached, cus ALMOST ALL OF THEM DIE.

I have to put MGRP on this list because aside from its fun and original designs, awesome interactions, cool-ass premise and execution (sometimes literally), it had some amazing rewatch value. I watched this anime three times, which is a lot to do in one year. I just had to watch people’s reactions and seeing stuff hidden in the background and revisiting some foreshadowing was so much fun. Definitely worth a watch and I’ll cover more about it in my upcoming review.

9. Orange

Regrets, like I have over not putting Kekkai Sensen into last year’s list, are the main theme of Orange. Buried under the shoujo themes of romance, high school, and angst, lies the actual regret: letting a friend kill himself. The main story unfolds itself very slowly as the group of friends discover that is what they must prevent, but it’s done in a realistic way. The signs of depression and suicide are so jokingly cast aside; it’s no wonder people miss it before it’s too late.

The climax of this story was heart-pounding and gut-wrenching. You find yourself rooting so hard for there to be success, to save someone who may not want to be saved, but must be saved. It might also make you pay closer attention to those around you. It’s an important anime to watch. If you do want one with a little less romantic emphasis though, I recommend you see Colorful instead (or also!).

8. Sweetness and Lightning

I need to marry someone who can cook. It doesn’t have to be a five-star chef, though I wouldn’t complain if it were the case, but Sweetness and Lightning reignited my need to be fed well. The show is about how food brings family and friends together. Aside from the great character interactions, well written children characters, and for god’s sake, the beautiful, perfect looking food, this anime was so pure in the amount of love put into it.

The food tops even some shown in Shokugaki no Soma, purely cus it’s doable for someone with a low skill level (like me), the meals are made for picky eaters (like me), and there’s not a ridiculously emphasis put on the orgasmic nature of food. That’s a thing that Shokugeki no Soma and even Koufuku Graffiti used stylistically in a comedic manner, but it doesn’t fit in Sweetness and Lightning for good reason. This show is accessible in that way, making it easier to show to someone who might want to try anime, but doesn’t want all the sexy fanservice.

7.Drifters

Kick-ass and Metal come to mind when Drifters is mentioned. I love Kohta Hirano’s previous work, Hellsing, a lot. It was a massive gore and blood fest with a sprinkling of comedy in the mix. This is a war and gore fest with a, not a sprinkling of comedy, but more like Hirano accidentally knocked the bottle of comedy over when he was checking on the oven directly into said mix. It’s really funny, but also really awesome. I have a lot to say about it in my review, but I think a dog fight with dragons involved kind of state my case for me. Also Elves, Dwarves and other Tolkien demihumans and monsters abound. It’s fun.

The animation is also gorgeous, especially that stylized, graphic novel looking opening theme with the rock anthem “Gospel of the Throttle” making you “NA NA NA NA NA NA” along with the characters every opening. It’s an excellent show to watch with friends or get yourself pumped. Returning sometime next year!

6. Kuromukuro

How can something be so trope-y, yet so damn enjoyable? Kuromukuro isn’t an original concept, but is done in an original way. The samurai trapped in a machine for 500 years is the new exchange student. The reluctant heroine needs to board the mecha to fight the alien threat. The school festival has been compromised by an alien mecha entering the atmosphere. This anime is funny, but it’s also emotional and holds a much wider scope than I ever could have expected. P.A. Works has been putting out some good contenders in the last few years, and with their lovely art style and well-balanced budget, they were able to pull off this massive mech story in an engaging and entertaining way.

I applaud the cast for one of the best ensembles on this list, bringing forth some of the best and most memorable character chemistry of the season, and some hilarious situational humor. I also cried a little near the end, but honestly, a lot of anime on this list did that to me this year.

5. My Hero Academia

Shonen anime is such a delight now, always a favorite of mine as a kid, but not as firmly as now. I love the underdogs; I love the over the top villains; I love the powers, the fights, and the yelling to infinity. It’s just so exciting and blood pumping, and MHA made it so refreshing with such an interesting spin. These characters are children, inexperienced, with quirks that may or may not be useful. I love Deku because his anxieties and general feelings of being less than everyone else not only make it exciting to see him overcome them, but to use them to keep his head and ego from getting over inflated like some shonen protagonists. Bakugo is such a good foil to him, showing where this could be a major weakness to a shonen protagonist.

Also it’s coming back with THE TOURNAMENT ARC, and if you’re like me and haven’t started the manga yet, DO IT! You won’t regret it! I’m more than excited to see more of this awesome anime in action.

4. Flip Flappers

This anime, wow this anime. I’m so upset not more people are talking about it, but have you seen this delight for the senses? I’m looking forward to reviewing it now just because my jaw is still kinda on the floor. Beautiful animation, a crazy cool style, and some of the best nonsense in magical-girl but not really fight scenes I’ve seen in a while. This anime reminds me of something, but I can’t quite put my thumb on it. I do know it’s like an amalgamation of my editor’s anime “TYPE” so you’ll see more about that in the review.

But good lord did I love the heart of this show. The pure romance, the exciting battles, the trippy psychological horror. Let me just say, that one episode (the Maria Watches Over Us “GOKIGENYO”), probably has scarred me for life, but I love it. It’s just so different and good. It deserves a watch, just for how delighted your eyes will be.

3. Erased (Boku Dake Ga Inai Machi)

I love a story that can get you emotionally invested and cheering for or yelling at the character who you don’t have any control over. Erased was paced beautifully (though some might disagree due to the slight differences in adaptation), and its animation only made every silent, tender moment more enjoyable to look at before the lighting and mood would change and the feeling of bloodlust would stain the air. That’s how you write suspense.

I’m a little annoyed because apparently some other people were reading some character motivations “differently,” (looking at you crunchyroll), but I think it’s safe to say this doesn’t cross the line into romance, at all, and stays a thriller about growing up in a life-threatening situation.

2. Shouwa Genroku Rakugo Shinjuu

I love the theatre, and I love comedy and storytelling. This anime manages to hit both of these points while showcasing some of the best animation I’ve ever seen. On top of the animation, there’s good directing, and supporting that is a great soundtrack. The story is vast and covers several characters’ lives over several decades surrounding World War 2.

The rakugo, though, is what makes the story. It’s not the first anime to touch on this topic, but it’s the first to do so in such an interesting way. It was very refreshing compared to a lot of titles on this list (though many of them are refreshing ideas!) with its originality. It’s heartfelt, it’s serious, it’s funny, but it also makes me want to cry. If it weren’t for the top spot being so hype as hell and generally a weekly freak-out among me and my friends, this would have been number one.

1. Mob Psycho 100
What can I say about Mob Psycho that hasn’t already been said? Its opening is gold, its animation is unique and interesting, its writing, directing, and characters are all praise-worthy. It is just hands down the best anime of the year. You may be thinking, “but Mitsu, One Punch Man was number one LAST YEAR. Isn’t Mob a little overhyped?”

No. Sit down and shut up. One is probably one of the best writers on the scene right now and is doing a lot better at writing genuinely empathetic characters and commentary on modern anime genres and tropes than most of the big budget barf fests. I think the “overhyped” talk is nonsense when it comes to mob. It genuinely does some interesting and groundbreaking work. That’s why it’s not only on this list, but number one. It never moved an inch since I decided it should be on the list.

Everything I’ve said has BEEN said by several really good reviewers and critics out there and you should definitely check out what they have to say about it too, because honestly, they’re a lot better than I am. I like Mob Psycho, I like One Punch Man, but I like Mob more. I’m so delighted that One Punch Man will be returning shortly and I only wish for Mob to also share the spotlight, as it deserves.

Reylo Song Compilation from the Official SW Spotify Playlists + Their Recurring Themes

(A.K.A. More Reylo Receipts, A.K. A. They Couldn’t Make It Any More Obvious)

The two official spotify playlists being discussed: Rey / Kylo Ren

For ease of access, I decided to compile all of the possible Reylo-centric songs that the Star Wars official Spotify has put in Rey and Kylo Ren’s playlists. Many are blatantly referencing their dark/light dynamic, while others are only vaguely referencing what could possibly be Reylo, but could also possibly be referring to other relationships - those songs have been pointed out. I wanted to outline the songs that are clearly Reylo-centric, so I also included the best lyrics to give as evidence as to why that song is Reylo-centric. Beneath the lists are the analyses of these love songs and the recurring themes throughout them from both Rey and Kylo Ren. 

Truth be told, after paying attention to all the love songs in Rey and Kylo Ren’s playlists, I am 98% sure Reylo is now, or will be, A Real Thing. The other 2% is the possibility that it will an unrequited love from Kylo Ren towards Rey, because Kylo Ren’s love songs are so assuredly about Rey (female pronouns, too romantic to be Leia) while there are still a few of Rey’s songs that cannot be 100% proven to be about Kylo Ren. That being said, a large majority of her love songs, as will be discussed, revolve around fighting and conflict - so unless she will have another love interest that is going to be fighting with her in the trilogy, I’d say those ones are at least definitely pointed towards Kylo Ren.

*possibly referring to rey and f.inn, possibly referring to kylo and leia or merely kylo himself
> my personal favourites because they just scream reylo

While looking through these lyrics, remember to keep in mind that these songs were specifically chosen to be put in OFFICIAL Star Wars playlists for these characters for a reason. In the order that they were listed in playlists:

Rey’s Playlist

  • NO ONE - ALICIA KEYS* ( people keep talking they can say what they like // but all i know is everything’s going to be alright // no one can get in the way of what i feel for you )
  • COMPASS - ZELLA DAY*if we make it out alive, from the depths of the seas // compass points you anywhere closer to me // where you are, i will be )
  • COME AND GET IT - SELENA GOMEZ ( can’t stop because i love it, hate the way i love you )
  • LEVELS - NICK JONAS (  so much to discover, please don’t stop me now // all this heat keep rising, make you stop, drop, and roll // i’m bottling up the lightning, supernatural )
  • CAN’T FEEL MY FACE - THE WEEKND* ( and i know she’ll be the death of me, at least we’ll both be numb // and she’ll always get the best of me, the worst is yet to come // all the misery was necessary when we’re deep in love )
  • OMEN - DISCLOSURE ( i’m feeling something, something different //  needed you to show me, without you I am lonely // my mind would rule my heart // i didn’t pay attention to the light in the dark, it left me torn apart )
  • WE FOUND LOVE - RIHANNA ( it’s the way I’m feeling i just can’t deny //  shine a light through an open door // turn away ‘cause i need you more //  we found love in a hopeless place )
  • BLUE JEANS - LANA DEL REY ( you fit me better than my favorite sweater, and i know that love is mean, and love hurts )
  • > BATTLEFIELD - JORDIN SPARKS ( i never meant to start a war, you know, i never wanna hurt you // don’t even know we’re fighting for, why does love always feel like a battlefield // baby, we don’t have to fight )
  • A SKY FULL OF STARS - COLDPLAY ( i don’t care, go on and tear me apart //   'cause in a sky, 'cause in a sky full of stars i think i saw you //  'cause you’re a sky, 'cause you’re a sky full of stars, i wanna die in your arms )
  • RUNAWAY (U & I) - GALANTIS* ( even if we’re strangers til we die //  anywhere out this place, i wanna run away, just U and I )
  • SMOKE AND FIRE - SABRINA CARPENTER ( oh, oh, our love is running into a burning building // feel the heat, so we started running // you know you saw it coming, but the memories are still in my mind )
  • DIAMONDS - RIHANNA* ( you and i, you and i, we’re like diamonds in the sky // i knew that we’d become one right away // at first sight i felt the energy of sun rays, i saw the life inside your eyes )
  • WILD - TROYE SIVAN ( trying hard not to fall // leave this blue neighbourhood, never knew loving could hurt this good, oh and it drives me wild // 'cause when you look like that I’ve never ever wanted to be so bad )
  • SHUT UP AND DANCE - WALK THE MOON* ( this woman is my destiny // we were victims of the night // oh we were bound to get together // deep in her eyes, i think I see the future, i realize this is my last chance )
  • OUR OWN HOUSE - MISTERWIVES* ( into my soul you stared and bored down every fear // we built our own house with our hands over our hearts )
  • BLOODSTREAM - TRANSVIOLET ( cruel desire, danger in our consequence // hey, you wanna rule the world? outlaw love, make you lose control // cosmic violence, chills dripping like acid rain, keep coming back cause it’s you i crave )
  • FORCE OF NATURE - BEA MILLER ( i tried to tie my heart down, board up all the windows, oh but it’s too late now, i let you get too close // i know i should take cover, hide inside these four walls, but baby i surrender, it all // 'cause you’re a force of nature, look at what you’ve done // i can taste the danger, but i don’t wanna run, so pull me to the ground and i won’t put up a fight )

Kylo Ren’s Playlist

  • ANGELS FALL - BREAKING BENJAMIN* ( grey skies will chase the light away no longer // when angels fall with broken wings, i can’t give up, i can’t give in // when all is lost and daylight ends, i’ll carry you and we will live forever, for ever )
  • DARK SIDE OF ME - COHEED AND CAMBRIA* ( in this cold reality i made, this selfish war machine, oh, this has become hell, how can i share this life with someone else? // i am not equipped to comprehend human rationale, sirius, is this what love is? )
  • ASHES OF EDEN - BREAKING BENJAMIN* ( i am not worthy of this // stay with me, don’t let me go, because there’s nothing left at all // will the light begin to pull me to its everlasting will // heaven above me, take my hand, shine until there’s nothing left but you )
  • NEVER GIVING UP - OF MICE AND MEN ( even though i know you want me to, i’m never giving up on you // you’ll never know just how hard it is for me to see you this way, it tears me up, drags me down )
  • OUT OF TIME - A DAY TO REMEMBER ( i finally found her, and when i did i just couldn’t make things right, is this really happening? oh, god, i think i just ruined my life // don’t think you’ve got to go in alone here // you won’t see it, but believe me, i need to be right where you are // 'cause now i think that everything’s about you )
  • EVIL - INTERPOL ( when your friends they do come crying, tell them now your pleasure’s set up on slow-release // i can take you places, do you need a new man? // you need someone to take you there, sandy, why can’t we look the other way? )
  • THE ANSWER - SAVAGES ( i saw the answer, it was a girl, will you go ask her // love is the answer // to cry about love, to wait for her, to wait for dying, i can’t wait )
  • AT LEAST I’M KNOWN FOR SOMETHING - NEW FOUND GLORY ( i tried so hard to keep you coming back my way, but you don’t know the half and i’m the one to blame // i let my front down and i know i will regret it )
  • DEAD INSIDE - MUSE* ( your lips feel warm to the touch, you can bring me back to life // feel me now, hold me please, i need you to see who i am // open up to me, stop hiding from me // it’s hurting babe, only you can stop the pain // now i’ve become just like you, my lips feel warm to the touch, my words seem so alive )
  • ALL THIS COULD BE YOURS - COLD WAR KIDS ( i have been waiting for you to find that all of this could be yours tonight )
  • BREED - NIRVANA* ( i don’t mean to stare, we don’t have to breed // we could plant a house, we could build a tree // i don’t even care, we could have all three // she said, she said, she said )
  • > INNERVISION - SYSTEM OF A DOWN ( i have to find you, i have to meet you // i need to find you, i need to seek my innervision // it’s never too late to reinvent the bicycle // a smile brings forth energy or life, giving your force, vision )
  • > SATELLITE - RISE AGAINST ( we are the orphans of the American dream, so shine your light on me // she told me that she never could face the world again, so i offered up a plan, we’ll sneak out while they sleep, and sail off in the night )
  • > BORED TO DEATH - BLINK-182 ( there’s a stranger staring at the ceiling, rescuing a tiger from a tree, the pictures in her head are always dreaming, each of them means everything to me // i think i met her at the minute that the rhythm was set down, i said i’m sorry i’m a bit of a letdown )  
  • WHEN WORLDS COLLIDE - POWERMAN 5000 ( are you ready to go? cause i’m ready to go, what you gonna do, baby? are you goin’ with me? cause i’m goin’ with you // now who’s the light and who is the devil? you can’t decide, so i’ll be your guide )
  • > A CROSS AND A GIRL NAMED BLESSED - EVANS BLUE ( there’s a pretty girl somewhere, with a pretty name, but i could never let you know how much this means // i swear we’ll end this war, cause we both know It wasn’t worth fighting for // she said to me i will be driving in the wrong direction, did you ever think that maybe your life is heading in the wrong direction, baby )

Lyric Analyses & Themes

I will now begin to group together recurring themes in Rey and Kylo Ren’s playlists in order to correlate similarities and parallels. This includes well-known themes that may hint towards certain theories, such as Kylo Ren’s redemption, Reylo sharing a force bond, the balancing of the force, and the Gray Jedi becoming canon. To make parallels clearer, Rey and Kylo Ren’s supporting evidence for each theme will be paired side by side.

Keep reading

12x12 Episode Review - Still Screeching...this time about the colour “Peach”.

I gave my 12x10 episode review the title “Pterodactyl Screeching into the Void” because I was so happy about it I couldn’t help but scream with glee at practically every moment. I also said this: “I feel like there is so much to talk about in this episode that fandom will be chewing on it for months if not years to come.” I still believe this, I just didn’t expect that two episodes later I would be reliving this exact same thoughts and feelings. I considered 12x10 to be a one off, a glorious gift to fandom wrapped in a big destielicious bow. Clearly, we celebrate our fandom birthday only two weeks before fandom Christmas because we just got ANOTHER gift wrapped in an even BIGGER destielicious bow and I can hardly contain my glee. (baring in mind fandom Christmas falls on the tenth anniversary of tumblr and close to valentines day I can’t help but feel this was planned - PRESENTS ALL AROUND)

But anyway. Lets talk meta. Once again I am very late to the party as I doubt I will be posting this any earlier than Saturday evening when you have probably all been talking this to death for the past two days. But eh, I’m gonna do my thing and hope you all agree, or aren’t bored by now if everything I talk about is stuff already gone over by my fellow very talented meta writers.

Starting with the obvious, Director Dick Speight Jr and Writer Davy Perez made this episode an homage to Tarantino movies. Specifically Reservoir Dogs which has so many ties to this episode both visually and subtextually that it is kind of difficult to keep track of my thoughts on it. I have to confess, I hadn’t ever watched Reservoir Dogs all the way through prior to watching the episode because it never really interested me. However, after watching the episode for the first time Friday lunch time I decided that it was in my best interests as a meta writer to give it a go. I watched it and tried to take in everything Tarantino was saying and doing with this movie… 

Being a meta writing, destiel shipper with heteronormative goggles permanently removed since watching this show guess what the first thing I picked up on was? That’s right Mr White and Mr Orange… what WAS going on there anyway? Because these guys didn’t know each other very long but they became VERY close by the time of the heist. Poor Freddie and Larry. Such doomed tragic lovers… do we have a ship name for them yet? Frarry? Leddie? Or maybe just “peach” (hence my title)

I believe that when Perez was writing this episode he had a SPN character in mind for each character in RD (mostly anyway). Cas is obviously Mr Orange (the bleeding out from the stomach thing gives it away as does Davy’s tweet here. Here is who I think the rest of the characters are supposed to be:

Dean – Mr White (duh)

Mary – Mr Pink

Wally – Mr Brown

Sam – Nice Guy Eddie maybe? I struggled here

Crowley – I wanna say Joe. (though I also kinda think Ketch would be Joe here… its not too obvious)

Remiel – Mr Blonde (“yellow” hair)

Explanations and various meta under the cut. This gets long:

Keep reading

Sober (Part Eight)

Characters: Kwon Jiyong a.k.a G-Dragon (BigBang), Song Mino (WINNER)

Genre: Angst

Part One Part Seven

Originally posted by daesungstrash

Jiyong runs his hands underneath the water, washing away the blood that was rolling out of the deep cut he had accidentally inflicted on himself. The sudden jolt of pain had woken him up from his luminescent thoughts and managed to jerk him back into reality.

Youngbae rushes towards Jiyong, his hair still drenched with shampoo because as soon as he had heard the sound of glass breaking he had jumped out of the shower and came to see what had happened. A look of panic goes through his face as he sees the immense amount of blood.

“Jiyong, what the fuck? Are you okay?” Youngbae grabs a clean rag from the drawer of his kitchen and presses it on the wound which tainted the white rag red in a matter of seconds.

Keep reading

Calm of the Storm

PARING- reader x Thor 

WORD COUNT: 2.8k

WARNING: SMUT, ORAL, UNPROTECTED SEX (keep it wrapped), little it of angst (sorry)   

Request from Anon- Hello beautiful 💕 i’d like to request some smut with thor where you’re his fiance (you are an asgardian as well) and you’re really in love with him but he doesn’t like you at first because of Jane but after some time he likes you already.. Ps. Can you pls put as well that Thor brought you to Earth to meet the Avengers??? Thank you XD THANK YOUUUU!

Another smut for you all! I was so keen with this prompt, there is some back story with this, also you are known as the Goddess of Peace and Wisdom, just because I think it’s a nice contrast with Thor being the God of Thunder! But let’s be honest you’re all just here for the smut hahaha ;) well enjoy xx 

GIF NOT MINE!

Originally posted by thordaily

Family, Honor and loyalty, those were the words that your father had brought you up on. Your family were close allies to the All Father ever since your birth you had been connected with the royal family of Asgard. More specifically to one member, Thor. Ever since your birth it was proclaimed that you were to wed the young prince when the time was right, a fait that had its hold on you your entire life. You had grown up with your betrothed when you were old enough your parents sent you off to the palace with the words.

Keep reading

|| protect you ||

fluff with peter? fluff with peter.

tags [permanent + peter parker]: @ghostedwolf , @lovelybaka , @animexchocolate, @psychicwitchphilosopher , @pharaohkiller , @moonlight53 , @literatureandimmature, @daydr3ams-away, @wannabe-weasley , @mcusebstan , @tmrhollandkay , @pepcvina , @nekonerdxox , @lokigirl18 , @fangeekkk , @kylielo22 , @wavy-ley , @lghockey , @buckysendoftheline , @1022bridgetp , @potterjamesharry , @aenna-4 , @mcheung0314 , @samanthasmileys

**please don’t repost/plagiarize this story. Reblogs are fine**

——

Keep reading

REALMS(PT3)

Originally posted by kths

REQUEST: HEY I JUST READ ALL OF YOUR FICS HEHE AND I REALLY LIKE YOUR WRITING! CAN I REQUEST A VERY PROTECTIVE DEMON!TAE FIC PLS? DOESN’T MATTER IF FLUFFY OR SMUTTY THANK YOU SO MUCH X

GENRE: DEMON!AU, SUPERNATURAL, SMUT(TO COME), SLIGHT ANGST, I HAVE TO MAKE THIS FLUFFY OF COURSE

PT4

                                                  What are you?

Keep reading

The more I think about it, the more I think the main thing that ‘went wrong’ with Andromeda is that it plays everything so safe. I still like the game, but that is the one overarching issue that stopped me from enjoying it as much as I wanted to.

This is a new galaxy; they could have done anything, but it all feels so utterly familiar.

The story starts at the wrong point in the time line

The biggest mistake they made, story wise, was making us come into the galaxy at the point that we did. I will never for the life of me understand why they took a game that was going to be about exploration and how ‘we’re the aliens now’ and not let us be the first humans to arrive in Andromeda.

Just start the game at that point. Before the uprising, before the outposts, before the Nexus is half-built. Have us truly be the first humans the Angara meet. Have us struggle to understand each other, and slowly win their trust, only to lose it when the Uprising happens and they see a darker side to humans.

How devastating would it be to have worked to gain their trust, gain Jaal’s trust, and then see it all get swept away by events out of our control?


This way we also get more chances to bond to Alec, as he’ll be around for longer than 2 minutes. Think about establishing those first outposts on Eos with Alec, only to see them fail disastrously with us, the pathfinder team, carrying that guilt with them.

This also means we’ll see the Nexus fail, see Garson murdered (not entirely clear on the timeline for that tbh). And eventually we will have to see characters we know turn against us during the Uprising itself!

And if they have to get rid of the dad, he could die during the Uprising (adding a personal touch to having to deal with the Exiles), or hell, maybe he joins them. 


As it is now, it just feels like we missed a large part of interesting narrative in Andromeda. We’re made pathfinder in 2 seconds and succeed from the word go. There are obstacles to getting the outposts up and running, but no real struggle. Another consequence of setting the story 18 months (I think it’s 18) from when the first people arrived is that it robs us of being the first.

(I’m also not entirely clear on why the Nexus had to be there first, because it can’t function without Outposts, they need a pathfinder to find outposts, but the arc’s had the pathfinders and they were meant to arrive later on? Also, no one on the Hyperion says they arrived too late, but on the Nexus they say they thought everyone was dead, which seems to indicate they were waiting for longer than they thought they had to? I might be missing something here.)

Planets are not inviting to explore

As it stands, it just adds more familiarity into a game that already suffers from taking too few risks.

Everything from the planets to the wild life to who we encounter feels so safe. Storybeats are repeated from the original trilogy, enemies as well. On four of the planets we already see a lot of milky way equipment/ milky way species. And even Kandara Port (though I like the design), which was built by the Angara feels like it wouldn’t be out of place in me2.

All the planets are a bit of a let down when it comes to how not-alien they feel, excepting Havarl and arguably habitat 7, they don’t feel that alien. And the frustrating thing is, this isn’t filmed on location, they’re not constrained by planet Earth; they could have gone all out. 

Besides not feeling alien the planets also feel so… dead. I know there is a bit of an in game reason for this, but 1. they created the reason 2. I don’t think that’s the reason.

Every planet gets one or two pieces of plant life, looking only slightly alien from what we see on earth. The rest is desert, snow desert, almost barren ground. Throw in a lot of rocks. And 4 different animals, all just reskins of that same set from other planets. (Even those acidic lakes are things we can find right here.) And why do we still not have a weather or day/ night cycle? It’s one thing if you just work with smaller hubs, but bragging about your huge maps and then have them be utterly static seems a bit weird.

We also only get one alien city. One, and it’s tiny. At least it feels more like a city than Val Royeaux, but not by much. I do like Aya’s design though. We do see some smaller camps? settlements? of the Angara, but if they were such a presence in the cluster until 80 years back when the Kett arrived, where are the ruins to their civilization? The abandoned cities of the Angara?

The Jardaan certainly piqued my interest, but what do we really see of them? The vaults, that one giant starship, not-Meridian, and Meridian itself, which is one of the few places that was inviting to explore so of course we couldn’t. Did they just not leave any other marks on the planets except those things and the ‘points of interest’ (that are not interesting)?

All we really have to interrupt these huge boring maps, clearly designed to only rush through with your Nomad, is some random fights (the same two variations I think) and ‘points of interest’, except there’s never anything of interest except some remnant to kill and a container? After a while I just gave up checking them out tbh, so please point out any great ones you found.

There are of course a lot of sidequests thrown in, some of them I found pretty fun and a huge improvement on da:i, but they don’t invite you to explore. The planet itself isn’t worth exploring so when doing a sidequest you just rush to the point you have to get. In other games, games that do this concept well, you set your quest and then while going there get distracted by things you find out in the world. Here that happened maybe a few times, and usually it was because I came across a point for another quest and someone hailed me. It was never because I saw something that piqued my interest and I went over there and it had something fun to do.

A lack of new species, and disappointing returning aliens

They never showed a lot of the milky way species and the ones we did see lacked diversity. The just picked one head morph - or two in the case of Turians where the females have different facial structure - and slapped on some paint. I expect more not less from a newer game. The Asari were the most jarring - to the point I avoided Kerri because she has Lexi’s face and it’s just ridiculous. But the Salarians have just as little diversity. Google salarians in mass effect and you’ll see they did so much more with them in the original trilogy. And I have to say, there were too many Turians with white faces,  a few of them important characters as well, I still mix up Kandros and Avitus.

And what do we get in exchange for all the species we don’t see return and the diversity that’s gone? One new species. One. I love the Angara, but I can’t help but be disappointed that we travel to a new galaxy only to discover one new race. Unless we count throw away enemy the collectors .2 the Kett. But really, they only brought back 4 of the original trilogy’s races and still didn’t have enough resources to add some diversity to Andromeda? Really? We just get the Angara…

Finally…

I would just have scrapped the giant maps, and gone for smaller but denser packed ones, like Havarl and Habitat 7. Add much more plant life and animal life and real diversity in those two, to all the planets. And make them more alien.

Have no more than one desert planet, I vote Elaaden as it was the best desert, and stick more sunken ruins in it that have actual things to discover about the Jardaan. And make that the only planet so huge that you absolutely have to use the Nomad.

Make Kadara much smaller, with much more lakes so it looks more like a deadly lake planet.

If we have to have a snow planet, make it more original than a white reskin of a desert planet. Maybe we have to drive in giant ice caves, maybe we don’t even get to walk on the surface, maybe the Angara have buried themselves underground in ruins of a old Jardaan city.

And this is just sticking to the planets in game, but they should just have scrapped all of them except Havarl and gone much more alien than they have.

I still like the game, I just think there was a lot of potential there they never bothered to explore. All in all it just feels like they played it safe. Maybe that’s a reaction to the backlash after me3′s endings, but I think it’s where they failed the game the most, and for me it leaves the game in ‘if only’ limbo.
I Promise (Jason Todd x Reader)

Request: “Prompt angst/post breakup #9 with Jason?? Pls!” from anon

Prompt: 9) “I found this photo of you in an old jacket and it reminds me of what I lost and I came here to find it.”

A/N: There’s probably a lot of mistakes in here but it’s 4:25 AM and I’m tired and cranky and I’m going to be very blunt, lazy to check. 

Tags: @wynterrobin @wannabe-weasley @queen-of-all-the-fandoms @avengerdragoness @kazuha159 @scarletsmaximoff @insideoflit @just-another-fandomite

~

It wasn’t easy for Jason after you left. You were always reaching for the door every time you two had a fight, but he always had a way to make you stay. Always. He was toxic and you loved it.

But the moment you packed your bags and he was tripping out of his apartment, he realized that he went too far, “What the fuck you doing this for?!” He growled, snatching your wrist in his hand and swung you around to face him.

You yanked your wrist out of his grip, “I can’t do this anymore, Jason!”

He scoffed, “Do what? Being a fucking ice princess bitch who only gives a damn about herself?” He said darkly, regretting his choice of words right away when he saw the hurt in your eyes.

You were so fed up with his bullshit. You used your free hand and smacked him across the face, “You think I don’t give a damn about you?” You whispered. In all of your arguments, you always ended up stuttering and crying, but this time, you had the courage to speak your mind with no hint of tears in your eyes.

He placed a palm on his cheek, red from your powerful smack. You looked at him straight in the eyes when he turned his head to face you again, “Do you know how hard it is to watch you almost bleed to death every night? When I have to pray to a God who apparently doesn’t even exist because your life was never in His hands, but in mine?” He bit his lip, knowing exactly what you mean.

Jason didn’t respond, so you continued, “I love you, Jason, I really do. But I can’t be with someone who puts his life on the line every single night. You wanna know why? Because if one night you don’t come back home, I’m never going to be able to live my life anymore. You’re my world, you have my heart, hell I’d sell my soul to you…but enough is enough.”

That was the last thing you said to him before you turned around and left him in the dark hallway. He couldn’t even move, he couldn’t even go after you.

You were right.

~

You were watching Friends on Netflix, laying down on your new couch in your new apartment in Bludhaven. Dick was generous enough to help you find a decent place. You told him that you didn’t need money for anything else but when you first arrived, you knew he had something to do with all the new furniture.

You sighed, eating another slice of cold pizza from yesterday. You missed Jason. The hole in your heart kept reminding you about all the good times you spent together. Not even Friends could be able to make you laugh like he did, when he wasn’t being an asshole. You felt like shit for leaving him like that.

You heard a small knock on the door and glanced at the clock.

11:47 PM and some idiot decided to ruin your night. You paused the show and placed a barely eaten pizza in its box, sighing as you stood up from your comfortable couch.

The bad thing about this apartment is that there aren’t any peep holes. You swung the door open and gasped, “….What are you doing here?”

Jason looked completely different. His hair was disheveled as if he ran his fingers through it in frustration. His eyes were droopy and red, when was the last time he slept? You thought. He even had facial hair. You knew for sure that he hasn’t shaved in a few weeks.

Jason took something out of his pocket, and held it up for you to see, I found this photo of you in an old jacket and it reminds me of what I lost and I came here to find it.”

He took your hand with shaking fingers and placed the photo in your palm. You took a better look and let out a shaking breath, “It’s..”

“The photo I took of you on our first date.” He finished.

In the photo, you were smiling at a plate full of food. You remembered this day clearly, you didn’t know he was taking an off guard photo of you. You even remembered how surprised you were when you liked the photo so much.

Jason rubbed a thumb on your cheek, wiping away a tear you didn’t even feel, “I’m so sorry, baby.” He whispered.

You placed a hand over his and closed your eyes in pain, shaking your head, “No, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have left you like that.”

Jason pulled you into his arms, letting you cry into his chest, “Babe, don’t cry. I’m a dick, I know. You’re not the one who should be sorry.” He said, voice low as he rubbed your back.

You gripped his leather jacket in both hands, “Just promise me one thing.” You said into his chest, voice slightly muffled.

He kissed the top of your head, “Anything, babe.”

“Promise me you’ll always come back every night.”

Jason grasped your chin, lifting it up so you can meet his gaze full of pain and gave you a long passionate kiss. God, you missed his touch so much. 

He pulled back and leaned his forehead against yours, “I promise.”

anonymous asked:

First time sex as headcanons

Hello anon! Thanks for your request. LET ME JUST TELL YOU, ALL OF THESE BABIES WOULD BE SO BLUSHY THE FIRST TIME. This was fun to write, and I hope you enjoyed! NSFW warning (duh lolol).

~rima


Yoosung:
♥ When he first hears that you want to have sex with him, he has to do a double take.
♥ “S.. sex? With.. me?!”
♥ He’s so surprised and blushy, he’s definitely not the type to sleep around so he’s not experienced at all. He’s still a virgin, in fact.
♥ Your first time is realllllly awkward, but it’s kinda cute. He’s really trying his best to act sexy but he keeps apologizing if he goes too far.
♥ “God, you are so sexy, I just want to stare at your body all night, babe ~ o.. oh, I’m sorry that… was a bit too much.”
♥ He goes really slow tbh. He doesn’t really know what he’s doing and he doesn’t want to hurt you. He constantly asks if you’re okay and gently kissing you.
♥ Once stuff gets heated and you both are actually enjoying yourselves, Yoosung is screaming. he cannot hold in moans for the life of him he’s just fucking screaming
♥ You both enjoy yourselves though, he didn’t think something so sinful could pleasure him.
♥ “Hey, MC, if I win the LOLOL tournament tomorrow on my server, will you reward me again…?” (yes)

Zen:
♥ He’s such a perv omg. He constantly dreams of you in your purest, most vulnerable form and it just gets him going.
♥ When you ask to have sex with him, he is like reALLY EXCITED? But he doesn’t show his excitement. He plays it super cool.
♥ The first time is so romantic, he wants to make it really special. There are flower petals on the bed, dim candles around the room, and sensual violin music playing on his stereo.
♥ He’s so gentle and sweet, he doesn’t want to set the beast loose for your first time with him.
♥ Small neck kisses and love bites. He only nibbles on your skin a little. It drives you crazy for his touch.
♥ PERFECT ORGASM FACE. He’s beautiful already but when he’s at the peak of his pleasure, oh boy
♥ “That was amazing, we should do that before all my shows. It can be our dirty little secret~”

Keep reading

MISTER 101: Why do you do this?

I was posed the question this morning.. and while its come in different forms before, the way it was presented here struck a chord in me. So I figured it was time to take the chance to explain myself… because ultimately I am sure its something that peaks the interest of many who follow me.

THE BEGINNING

I remember every single detail about that night.

The way he stared at me made me uneasy at first, but after I realized it was an inquisitive spirit and not one that wanted to take advantage of me, I was put at ease. Being a college freshman from a small poor town having never met anyone outside of your bubble can be intimidating you know… 

So when he said: “Come with me, I have something to show you”.. I didnt think twice, because I had this burning suspicion that my life was about to change in an epic way.. and it did. 

It was most likely the space of 45 minute to an hour but it felt like a rebirth and a new beginning of timeline. As though in some form or fashion I broke away from the timeline I was living in and entered into an alternate existence. I felt alive and aware like I never had beforeI had become awakened. 

GROWING AGAIN

At that age and the first time away from home you can become influenced by man things. Especially when you basically grew up with nothing… its often sometimes hard to tell whats right and wrong. But there was something most definitely right in the almost daily sessions. The lectures… the teaching.. the observations….. the encouragement. It all came together like a familiar puzzle that you have put together a hundred times, but yet each time still seems fresh and new in some strange way. 

It was made clear to me above all else that the information I was being given was sacred. That it was to be used for ultimate benefit to others, and never to be abused. It was told and retold… emphasized and drilled.. I realized that I was being given the opportunity of a lifetime.

All those hours at the mall watching people… all those nights sitting in the corner taking mental notes as he worked over his subs in scene time.. all those extra hours in psychology and criminology classes for no reason but to learn everything I could about myself and why I was this way. All the munches and presentations and books…. all the time spent with rope in my hands… with another persons trust in my hands… with the power to make or break.. in my hands. 

“No matter what you do, always do it with an ultimate purpose. When she asks “Why?”, always have an answer… when she submits, always be grateful”

Even now I begin to tear up recalling those words being spoken into my right ear and the gentle touch on my shoulder. He was always so gentle with my ignorance… he was always very deliberate with his teachings. 

RESPONSIBILITY & RESTRAINT

Its one thing to dream, its another to dare, and its something completely else to dominate. Much like a prize fighter trains for his title fights, I trained for the moment when the reigns were handed to me and I given the humbling opportunity to be in control. 

That first time I snapped my fingers and she shuffled into position was breathtaking. I paused, lost concentration… and felt that tap on my shoulder. 

“Remember… this is a great gift thats been given to you. Treat it that way”

Focus was found again, and as she stared into my eyes my soul devoured everything within her, consumed it and knew exactly what she wanted. All those hours spun into seconds and my awareness burned like a phoenix rising from the dark depths of the ruins of my former life. 

I was a Dom… I AM a Dom… and at that moment I fully came into the realization of the great responsibility placed in my hands, and the restraint with which I was expected to always express. 

Everything was always to be many things… A chance to grow. A chance to teach. A chance to learn. A chance to enhance anothers life and bring about something within them that was much like what he saw in me that night. A chance to make sure that someones like would be set into forward motion and that progress & growth would be ultimate goal. 

“Never abuse this power.. never take advantage of anothers eagerness and hunger to become alive like you had”

And so I always set upon approaching every opportunity with this mantra in mind… yes, her submission is a gift, yes, she needs what I have and received myself, yes, she deserves to come alive.. to grow… to progress.. to be fully alive.

TIME WELL SPENT

And so through all the classes, the teaching, the meetings and munches.. through all the practical hands on, scene play, and so on… I became who I am.

“Never be complacent. When you stop learning, you have failed me”

These words cut me hard to the bone… even typiing them and hearing them in his voice in my head is like a punch in the gut to even think I would do such a thing. He gave me so much of his wisdom, knowledge and time that I shudder at the thought of ever grieving his spirit. 

WE ONLY HAVE WHAT WE REMEMBER

“you can never have any judgment… because you will always remember who you used to be”

Growing up I had nothing. My parents were busy, my older brother and his friends got a lot of joy out of making me a punching bag. At school I was ridiculed and taunted. Being fat and awkward and just wanting friends puts a target on your back the size of Texas. 

I was also a target in a different way by one of my brothers friends… and in the coldness of that damp basement one summer day he changed my life in ways that I both regret, feel ashamed of…  and feel blessed for. So then when my uncle did it again in my middle school years…. it seemed normal. 

But theres nothing normal about holding your fathers handgun to your head on a hot July day at the age of 12 and thinking theres nothing left in life. 

It was also at that early age words became powerful, important and valuable in great ways. 

“When you speak make it mean something, make it important. When you present yourself you are also presenting me”

After a botched love letter to a girl I had a crush on in which i misspelled the word “beautiful”, she decided to stand up and read the letter to the whole class and point out my mistakes. From that moment I decided that being well spoken was the key to success, and as such I began a path that not only saw me become a regional spelling bee champion… but also having aced English and rhetoric on the ACT college entrance exam.

I could have wallowed in my misery for those things that happened to me.. which are a minuscule part of my early life. But instead I made a choice.

I chose to do everything I could to get out of where I was and make sure that no one would ever take advantage of me in those ways again. I chose that instead of being codependent and weak and worthless… that there was a greater life outside of where I was and what was happening. 

Venerable actions

When you grow up having nothing, you either want everything or you form a respect for being simple.

In my case it became both and somewhere within my training I figured out that you could have everything you wanted with the most simple of actions. 

I knew that moment had arrived for me the night I was standing in front of a sub who was fully naked and in position… I was fully clothed and drinking tea and staring at her… And… doing nothing else. 

Within 5 minutes, cum had began to run down her inner thighs.

I had embraced the fullness of everything I had been taught. Everything I had yearned for.. all that time spent, those hours of tutelage, all that training had come into full fruition. And all I did was something simple.. drink tea and be myself.

A lot of people mistake my confidence for ego.

A lot of people think that the person I portray on my tumblr isn’t who exists in real life. 

“The respect you earn will be worth the most. Dont ever expect it. Just do what you know to do and it will come natural”

And with simple things, simple living, simple this simple that… everything becomes rather complex. Everything becomes vivid and deliberate. When you come to the table with  no expectations, you are rarely ever disappointed. When you have no expectations, you have no reason to judge. 

And how can I live without judgment… how is it that I understand and seem to be this giant lighthouse for everyone?

Experience breeds wisdom.

Been there, done that.

I know pain.. sorrow.. I know joy.. I know the depths at which life can take a person. I know what its like to want to die… to realize I should live. Ive been there… Ive been there when all hope seemed lost. Ive been there, shaking in the corner after being violated… Ive been there when all trust was lost. Ive been there when the indention of a gun barrell slowly fades from the skin in your temple. Ive been there when she waited a few seconds longer than I did… and squeezed. Ive been there… staring at the medication bottle and wondering what would happen… Ive been there holding a dying person in my arms who looked into my eyes and told me they were sorry. Ive been there when the police arrived.. Ive been there in the dead of night when you sit on your roof and stare at the stars and curse the sky. Ive been there.. on the floor with a bloody nose and sore ribs. Ive been there and watched it all slip away… 

And in every occurrence.. ive always looked forward. Ive always known that there was something better, that there was hope at the end.. its what keeps me motivated and going even today. Through the issues and the pain and the solitude, through the depths of my roadblocks.. it keeps me moving forward.

“Mistakes are opportunities. Always make the best of every one of them”

and so I do. Every mistake is a chance to improve. To be better tomorrow than I was yesterday.. and I do my best to bring those like me along for the journey.

So why do I do what I do?

Because this knowledge is sacred. because a promise made is a promise kept. Because when I was at my lowest, someone reached down into my grave and pulled me out and breathed new life into my lungs… 

I do this because I cannot sit by and watch anyone fall to the wayside. I cannot let those who were once like me be taken advantage of, and abused, and kicked around.. I cannot let this wisdom that was so graciously placed in me just rot away. 

I do this for every little.. and every daddy.. and every submissive.. and every kitten, puppy, piggy, slave, etc that exists within this beautiful culture and lifestyle that I have immersed myself in and grown within and fostered and found to be real and true. 

I do this because no one else will… no one else does.

The posts, the answers, the stories, everything… its all for you. YOU. Not for me… I am second within this great drama that is my tumblr. This is all for you and those will come after. 

Its the reason I read the stories.. because I know you need them for one thing or another. Its the reason I make the posts to teach and educate so you know better.. its the reason I give my time and sacrifice myself to be there no matter what. Its the reason I do what I do.. is because of all of you.

Thats why I am there. Yes there are thousands of you… thousands of strangers who come to me for everything and anything.

I saved someones life this week. I helped another on a date… i helped another choose special items for special time with their boyfriend. I helped someone else prevent an anxiety attack… I helped another prepare for a job interview.. and I did it all because I had to. I did it all because of the spirit inside of me that says I cant not do it….  

I do it all……for you……

…. because it was done for me.