someone needs to play the oboe

2017 New Years Resolutions
  • Violin: Lock yourself in a practice room until a random passerby hears you begging to be let out. Have fewer distractions while in the practice room.
  • Viola: Continue to keep yourself composed every time someone mistakes your instrument for the other one. Maybe just learn to play a different instrument.
  • Cello: Become a more social and successful version of yourself. Also you need to floss more.
  • Bass: Invent a robot that carries the bass around for you. Wear more sunscreen.
  • Piccolo: continue the never-ending pursuit to not going deaf, and start going to the gym, which you might (will) get to busy to keep doing by February.
  • Flute: become first chair. If already first chair, beat down all the other flutes trying to become first chair. There can only be one.
  • Oboe: cry less, make more friends
  • Bassoon: practice more & work on crippling self image issues
  • Clarinet: Try not to murder that one guy in your section who doesn't have a clue what intonation or practicing is. Actually, maybe murder him.
  • Bass Clarinet: Do more with your life and become more involved in activities. You sit at home too much. If anxiety plagues you and you can't, go for more walks alone.
  • Saxophones: Eat healthi- oh look, pizza.
  • French Horn: Drink more water
  • Trumpet: *didn't have a resolution*
  • Trombone: Become a better musician, work on improving that one character flaw that keeps you awake at night.
  • Baritone/Euph: Try new things, don't start online dating.
  • Tuba: call your grandparents more, rediscover the will to live
  • Percussion: learn to tie a bowtie for realsies, instead of just using a clip on.

I think my favorite recurring thing about Hailey and Rodrigo from Mozart in the Jungle is every time someone makes a statement about Rodrigo being in love with/sleeping with/pining after Hailey he IMMEDIATELY jumps in with, “Oh no, no, no, she plays the oboe” like… the fact that she plays the oboe… means he’s OBVIOUSLY not in love with her… she plays the OBOE, people

I NEED HELP

So my school has a woodwind choir, and I can pick only these four instruments (so i actually have a shot) tenor sax, alto clarinet, basson, oboe. There are tenor players and only 2 of them are decent, but one plays bari for wwc, and there are 2 spots. No one plays alto clarinet or oboe (i would have to rent oboe, school doesnt own one), and a senior is playing basson and might be teaching someone to play it but i dont know. I am leaning towards oboe/alto clarinet but ive been trying out my sisters reg clarinet and its hard for me. ((I also want to not mess up my trumpet embrachure as much as possible))
@woodwind-goddess do you have a suggestion?

The Orchestra according to a clarinet
  • Piccolo: nice human but causes bleeding ears
  • Flute: smol, amazing human with all the solos
  • Oboe: Duckling
  • Clarinet: awkward, tol bean who sleeps half the rehearsal
  • Bassoon: cool, fancy tol oboe...texts all rehearsal
  • Trumpet: LOUD headache causes with awesome tone
  • French horn: Sounds like heaven when they remember to play the key signature (otherwise burn them)
  • Trombone: Slippy sidey arms magic
  • Tuba: that was deep man
  • 1st Violin: ego ego ego ego
  • 2nd Violin: smol loud beans '
  • Viola: needs more, great stringy thing, misunderstood
  • Cello: fave, cute humans better that clarinet tbh
  • Double Bass: Pulls faces across orchestra
Band kids
  • Percussionists: really sweaty and either have super long hair or their drums are bigger than them
  • Saxophone: "look at me!!1!! look at m"
  • Tenor saxophone: got bored saxophone but are to lazy to learn a new instrument
  • Bari Saxophone: always bickering with the tenor saxophone
  • Baritone: "pls don't hurt me"
  • Clarinets: didn't know what instrument to pick and or watches spongebob too much
  • Flutes: all the flutes look like a happy family but really they're all super passive-aggressive and hate each other
  • Piccolo: "haha fuck you flutes look at how much higher I am then y" faints*
  • Oboe: needs to quit whining and actually learn how to play their instrument
  • Trumpets: "ffUCK EVERYONE I 'M a trUMPT THE SOLO IS MIN E"
  • Sousaphone: guys help help he *crashes into a pile of stands*
  • Tuba: I'll help you sousaphone!! o oh shit oh- *crashes into the auxiliary line*
  • French Horn: probably only one of these guys. they just showed up, no one knows where from but hey they're here now and kinda cool.
  • 1st years stuck on auxiliary for every piece: probably ready to strangle someone with a triangle they are so done and have probably knocked over a bell set more than once. has nicknames for all the instruments they play.
  • Trombone: WHERE'S THE F UCK ING TROMBONE *hits like three people in the face while trying to turn to face the conductor*
  • Timpani: bang bang bang (probably sexually frustrated)
  • Violin: "ask to touch my instrument one more time you uncultured swines"
  • someone drops their bow and everyone points and screams
  • Cello: looks really refined and proper but cracks dirty jokes like 24/7
  • Piano: *shows up 15 minutes early to band practice to make sure no ones messing with their instrument*
  • Keyboard: *hits 'crazy frog' button during a dramatic pause for like the fifth time
  • Bass clarinet: you can't hear them half the time put their parts are pretty cool
  • Xylophone: has 89 measures of rest and one 2 measure solo. Usually manage to get themselves locked in the practice rooms.