someone must control

The mortality of our children is an unbearable reality, so when the worst does happen, to admit that it could be so random and uncontrollable is unacceptable. We are people, dammit, we are in control. Someone must be to blame otherwise it means that none of us are safe.

And, predictably, we blame mothers. The pressure on mothers to be ever vigilant, never tired, never unhappy, never overwhelmed and never distracted is an impossible and dangerous expectation. The idea that we should be able to “manage” our children, as if they are reasonable adults and not semi-feral animals covered in germs and fueled by destruction, is laughable. But we perpetrate these myths, and whenever the truth becomes unavoidable, we shame the mother instead of looking at the situation honestly.

This shame does nothing more than torture mothers with the knowledge that, according to society, they are bad mothers. It prevents them from asking for help and from having the sort of conversations about the dangerous situations our children find themselves in that could indeed make our children safer.

JR: I love all my show characters equally!! Lexa, Clarke…
*reads smudged writing on hand* Ramen, Baloney and… Thriller?