*writing* Oh wow, they are going to love this. This is by far my best work!
*witty lines* *perfect love making* *fluffy enough to kill us all* *a dash of angst, a smidgen of hurt/comfort*
Oh man. This is it. This will be my legacy! *sweats into fic* *bleeds into fic* *cries into fic* *spends days perfecting the grammar and verbage and sex scenes* *has 15 betas look over it*
Okay. It is finally time to release my baby on the world. Here you go fandom. You're welcome.
Ha, cute. *like* *kudos*
* * *
same fanfic writer:
*writing* Whatever. This is shit, I don't even care right now. A singing squirrel? Sure, let's do it. Haha, cheesy lines that make no sense, sure. Grammatical errors out the wazoo? Why not. No one's going to read this piece of crap anyway, I literally wrote it on a scrap of 1 ply toilet paper with a broken yellow crayon.
OMG THIS IS THE BEST THING YOU HAVE EVER GRANTED US WITH, WHERE HAS THIS BEEN ALL MY LIFE, OMG, I NEED A SEQUEL IMMEDIATELY, PLEASE. WHAT THE. I'M NOT EVEN WORTHY. *kudosrebloglikereccomment*
- great hair but not the smartest cookie - everybody loves him - got drunk once and the story keeps getting wilder - precious - bad grades but A for effort
- not sure why he’s here - v. religious - wanted to be an astronaut when he grew up - salty - just wants to go home
- found out about the 60s and never moved on - everyone is worried about him - cynical - thinks everyone and everything is beautiful - is probably high
- thinks words like ”punk’d” and “rad” are “hip with the kids” - cries easily - tries too hard - wears clothes under his clothes like superman - good hair
- “because I said so” - the upgrade nobody wanted, like iOS8 or Windows 10 - thinks he’s better than you - is probably actually better than you - thinks he’s helping but is actually making a bigger mess
- ripped the heads off barbie dolls as a child - fav song is the barney parody of “joy to the world” - AlwAYs tExTS liKe tHiS OR IN ALL CAPS - smiles a lot and nobody is sure why - probably killed somebody and maybe ate them too
Castiel with a side of Nuts
- bees - just wants to play party games and eat PB&J with his friends - holding it together with dental floss and scotch tape - no verbal filter whatsoever - wants world peace and for every day to be pajama day
- bad at prioritizing - loner - contemplates life a lot - low self-esteem - just wants to do The Right Thing™
Steve from Gas ‘n Sip
- butterfingers - works a minimum wage job with no benefits - gives awkward high-fives - stares at people - can pull off Good Will Chic™
Daddy Totally Castiel (definitely not Lucifer)
- is either undressing you with his eyes or plotting your murder - likes disco and tells dad jokes unironically - gets sucked into addictive smartphone games easily - c o n f i d e n t - wants a puppy