someone like you deserves all the good in the world

One of the most satisfying things about witnessing Harry’s success is knowing that he’s a genuinely good person. Like we’ve seen time and time again how lovely and kind and humble he is, and how no matter how huge he gets he appreciates every positive thing that comes his way. For as long as he’s been in the public eye, he seems to have always understood the transcience of fame and commercial success and so has never taken any of the overwhelming support for him for granted. Even a few days ago when he was doing one of his radio interviews, he kept thanking the host for playing his song and having him on the show, and the interviewer let out a chuckle like ‘are you kidding me???’ and said “No, thank YOU.” Because he’s Harry’s Styles so of course being interviewed and praised should be something that he’s pretty used to by now. But after all these years, Harry still makes sure to stay kind and grateful and thoughtful about how he interacts with people around him and what he puts back into the world. Like there is something so wonderful about knowing that Harry is both tremendously talented and fiercely good-natured and that he’s someone you can just root for wholeheartedly. In case it isn’t clear, I’m so proud of him and I’m so proud to support him in any way I can because he is loving and deserving and so much the kind of person I aspire to be someday.

People who deserve so much fucking better in 13 reasons why

Hannah: if only someone fucking listened, the way she was treated was horrendous and I wished someone could have seen her pain

JEFF: DESERVES THE FUCKIN WORLD, he only wanted to play some baseball, do kinda ok in school and help his nerdy lil friend actually live his life. Honestly had a heart of gold

Jessica: she was raped for crying out loud and was dealing with so much at the time. Honestly deserved better

Justin: comes from a shitty home and is constantly treated like crap. He actually sees that what he did was wrong and you can see that he feels like shit about it. So much potential for character development.

Zach: poor lil baby. Yh he did something shitty but you can tell he’s a good person and is trying to redeem himself.

Alex: he clearly felt bad for what he did and recognised his mistakes. Hope he doesn’t die 😔 Clay: he LOVED her ffs. Was put through a shit load of trauma and heartache bless him and is now trying to help someone else…. honestly has a heart of gold
PS FUCKING A PEOPLE

Alright listen up guys because I am really pissed off right now and I have something that needs to be said. 

Everyone’s always talking about how fucking horrible it is to have art stolen and reposted and that if you repost art you are a shitty person and the scum of the earth. Now, while I agree that reposting art is a pretty shitty thing to do, there is something else that people tend to overlook a lot that is just as bad, if not ten times worse.

Writers are constantly thrown under the bus. People fawn over fanart and commission people for prints and worship fanartists and get so fucking pissed when their favorite artists’ work is reposted. But writers don’t get that kind of attention. Writers slave for weeks and months and years to write long and intricate stories that will get 1,000 views IF THEY’RE LUCKY. They’ll get a few comments IF THEY’RE LUCKY. No one wants to pay for fanfiction. Only a select few writers are worshipped for their fics that are known throughout the entire fandom. Writers are so under-appreciated, and unfortunately, that means that their problems get swept under the rug as well. 

Writers have their work stolen too. I know three people including myself who have been plagiarized within the past year or so. People copy fanfiction. They copy/paste fics from one site to another or sometimes they copy someone’s fanfic idea exactly and only change the dialogue and descriptions slightly so that it looks vaguely different. Let me tell you something. One of my best friends was plagiarized recently, and she has also had art reposted before. She said having her writing plagiarized hurts a lot worse than having art reposted. 

A lot of times, when art is reposted, it’s an honest mistake by the person who reposted it. They didn’t know they were supposed to ask permission before reposting. A lot of times, people are very apologetic when reposting art and take it down if it is asked of them. I’m not saying that this is the case in EVERY situation, but the majority of the time, it is. 

With plagiarism, THERE ARE NO FUCKING HONEST MISTAKES. TO PLAGIARIZE SOMEONE, YOU HAVE TO ACTUALLY TAKE THE TIME TO COPY/PASTE SOMEONE ELSE’S WORK AND CHANGE IT SLIGHTLY IN HOPES THAT YOU WON’T GET CAUGHT, AND PASS IT OFF AS YOUR OWN ORIGINAL WORK. THAT IS NOT FUCKING OKAY. YOU DON’T TO THAT TO SOMEONE, DO YOU EVEN KNOW HOW MUCH OF A SHITTY PERSON THAT MAKES YOU!?

Plagiarism is a lot harder to deal with than reposted art is. It’s easy to prove that you are the artist of your drawing if it gets stolen because most likely you will have other art pieces with the same style, and you’ll have a watermark on it. Those things prove that the art belongs to you, and if someone isn’t cooperative in taking the reposted art down, it’s easy to report it or have a swarm of people sending comments to take it down.

With plagiarism, it is a lot harder to get that sorted out. Writing styles are so different even when it comes to one author. It is very rare that you can tell who an author is just by reading their writing. I’ve read some fics that are so good and in character, you’d think the author of the original book wrote it. Most people reading a plagiarized fanfic won’t even know that it’s been stolen. I’ve actually been accused of having plagiarized my own story before, just because someone had read the copied fic before they read my original fic!! Whats worse, a lot of plagiarists will defend themselves to the death and try to make themselves look like the victim!!!

And it’s harder to find plagiarized fics, especially for me, because I don’t check the tags on ao3 and every other fanfic site to see if my work has been stolen. I don’t have the time to go through every fanfic in every tag for every shp that I’ve ever written for every day to make sure that my work wasn’t copied!!!

Do you even understand how stressful it is, how upsetting, to have your writing stolen!? To have spent days and weeks on writing something, only to have someone else post a fic that’s almost exactly the same!? Especially if it ends up getting more views or comments or kudos than yours!? It’s one of the most horrible experiences that I’d ever been through! 

When I was plagiarized, I didn’t want to write anything for weeks. I was so afraid that it would happen again. To this day, I am still afraid that it will happen. I am so, so afraid. I don’t know what I would do if I found out that one of my series was being copied. My fic that was plagiarized was a oneshot. If I had an entire series stolen, I may never write a fanfic again. 

Please don’t act like this isn’t a big deal, or something that doesn’t happen often, because it does, and it hurts a lot. Please give fic writers the credit they deserve and please, for the love of God and all that is good in this world, DO NOT EVER STEAL SOMEONE ELSE’S WRITING. AND IF YOU SEE A FIC THAT YOU THINK IS BEING PLAGIARIZED, GET ALL THE FACTS FIRST. FIND OUT WHICH FIC WAS POSTED FIRST. TELL THE ORIGINAL POSTER THAT THEIR WORK IS BEING COPIED. HELP THEM REPORT IT. DON’T JUST LET IT SLIDE.

TREAT PLAGIARISM THE SAME WAY YOU WOULD TREAT REPOSTED ART, BECAUSE BOTH OF THEM ARE EQUALLY UNACCEPTABLE AND WRITERS DON’T DESERVE TO BE SLIGHTED LIKE THIS WHILE THEIR ARTIST FRIENDS ARE PROTECTED

*motions for you to come in reaaaally close*

*whispers* both Anders and Fenris had really, really fucked up things happen to them and are both completely valid in their opinions, reactions, and conversations. They are also valid in their antagonism to each other because fuck if it isn’t hard looking in a mirror. They both deserve love and understanding and support and all the blankets and cuddles, and in a kinder world might just have been better friends. I say better because they were friends, as much as they could be. You don’t invite someone you hate to a game of diamondback in your home with other friends if you didn’t like them, and on that same note you wouldn’t accept the invitation either.

*pats your shoulder* good talk.

hey hey I hit 3k *little pause for the ‘what?’, ‘omg’, ‘really’* yea that happened. today I bring you a little follow forever *little pause for the ‘ugh how original’* I know, I know, I don’t need you to tell me. but yea, I was contacted by this company called ‘asleepyphilly’ (that’s me if you can’t tell ,, I’m just trying to make this more exciting) and they told me that it would be nice to show my love for my mutuals so that’s what I’m doing, thank you ‘asleepyphilly’ for the unoriginal amazing idea. 

Keep reading

Gotta Go My Own Way 4 | Calum Hood

I am incredibly sorry for the delay. I’ve been so busy with my life recently (shocker) and I will also be busy my spring break next week so I don’t think I’ll have time to write the finale to WNCIL :( But this time I will keep you guys updated so I don’t disappoint. Enjoy.

Previous Parts 1 2 3


Calum’s POV

Coming back from Mr.Jackson’s room, I hid the piece of paper, that could potentially ruin the relationships around me, under my set of clothes laid out for our gig tonight. It was folded small enough to not be seen underneath my green t-shirt, but as soon as I laid the shirt down on top of it, I heard the knob to the door start to turn. My head whipped around to find the boys and Y/N, her smile still sat on her face as she laughed at something Luke said. I straightened up and leaned my back against the table our stuff was set on, my hands clutching the white painted wood. I flicked my head at them, a signal of ‘what’s up’, and watched as the boys all started to grab their stuff and start getting ready to warm up a little before soundcheck.

“Let’s get ready buddy, soundcheck’s in about 2 hours!” Ashton yelled, throwing my some hairspray to make my hair look more appealing than it was right now. Since the meeting, my hands have just been running through it, the anxiousness hitting me hard.

Y/N came and stood by me, grabbing the bottle and a comb from behind me and smiled softly at me. She sprayed a little bit of hairspray on the comb and lightly fluffed it through my thick hair. She almost at to stand on her tip toes, but she was and has always been the perfect height for me. All the negative and anxious feelings that built up inside of me seemed to vanish when I looked into the light of her eyes. She was too busy focusing on my hair, when all I could do was smile. She noticed my focus, and blushed before pulling the comb away to look at her masterpiece. 

Her hand reached up behind my neck at the baby hairs I had, and slightly tugged on them. The boys had now left the room to find their instruments, leaving the two of us together. My hands found their way to her waist, my fingers rubbing at the cotton shirt material. 

“My handsome Calum…” My smile only grew bigger. Y/N had always been that way with me. She knew how insecure I could get sometimes with Ashton being the buff guy in the band, Michael being the bad boy looking type, and Luke being the fan favorite. There were days when I would just want to hide away from the world because no one ever cared for me. I felt overlooked and under appreciated, but Y/N helped bring that confidence back into myself, reminding me pretty much everyday of how handsome, built, and talented I was. I leaned in and captured her lips with my own and molded them. She instantly melted into me, bringing her other hand to drape over my neck and shoulder. Her chest lunged and pressed up against me, only deepening the very needed kiss. I felt her moan into my mouth, causing me to leave a trail of light kisses from her jaw line to the edge of her collarbone, something I know drives her crazy.

“Calum…” she whispered, “I’m s-sorry I finished the song w-without you…” This caused me to teethe at the skin of her neck, leaving red streaks.

As a second moan escaped her lips, we heard 3 big bangs on the door, followed by a shrieking girl voice. 

“Calum! C’mon! The boys are already out here!” A loud, annoyed sigh came out of my mouth, as my forehead landed on Y/N’s shoulder. I could feel her body tense up beneath me, and her skin started getting warm. I rubbed my hand on her lower back to reassure her that there was nothing to worry about, but in reality, she had everything to worry about. 

“It’s okay Cal…go get ready for soundcheck, I’ll be on the sides in a little bit.” I lifted my head, my eyes landing on her understanding smile. 

“We’re not finished though.” I smirked, trying to lighten up the ruined mood. Y/N only chuckled at my stupidity, and nodded. I lightly kissed her forehead, and then sprung off the table heading for the door. As I turned the knob, I looked back one last time to see her with arms crossed, watching me.

“Don’t forget, I love you.” We both smiled widely, and she said I love you back.


Y/N’s POV

I turned back towards the table, only to see that Calum’s clothes were still in the room, and now on the floor. I knelt down and carefully picked up his clothes, but suddenly a white piece of paper fell out under his shirt. I set the clothes on the table, a curious look laid upon my face, my eyebrows scrunching together.

It was slightly crumpled, and had tiny font, to the point where I had to bring the paper closer to my face than usual. I saw it was addressed to Calum, but the sentences that I saw in fragments nearly destroyed the butterflies he left in me only a minute ago.

“…solo career…break away from 5 Seconds of Summer…front singer of Hey Violet…great career move…” and so much more was written in this document. My hand fell over my mouth, shocked and disgusted that Calum had this paper basically signing his life away to Hey Violet, to Nia, from 5SOS…from me. I felt utterly sick reading the contract, reading all the perks he could have if he left his band, how much he would be paid, the places he’d travel, the ‘more’ opportunities he could have as a solo artist. But none of that would matter if he didn’t have Luke, Ashton, or Michael. I wasn’t mad so much at the fact that he’d be leaving me, but the fact that he’d be leaving the 3 main people who worked so hard along side him to have their dream of playing arenas for adoring fans a reality. He didn’t stick with them because he knew they could potentially become famous, but because he wanted to conquer the world with them by his side. But ever since Nia came along, she’s tried corrupting Calum, and trying to make him fall for the fame and money, like he promised never to do. And it was almost as if my biggest nightmare, had become a reality.


Soundcheck was just now finishing up, Hey Violet and the boys both emerging backstage since they were both out there. Everybody was all smiles and laughs talking about the funny fan questions, reactions, and signs that they saw from their adoring audience. However, I was sitting on the corner of the couch on my phone, my back pocket burning where the Calum’s contract was. The other 3 boys sat around me, nudging me to see what was wrong, but my eyes only laid on Calum who was laughing it up with Mr.Jackson and Nia, of course. His back was turned to me, as I felt tears start to form in my eyes.

“Wait…Y/N what’s wrong…” Luke whispered lightly in my ear, the other boys leaning in to listen. I shook my head, pulling out my phone and clicking on the picture of the contract I took, showing it to all of them. They’re not only his best friends, but his bandmates and business partners, they deserve a right to know even if it’s not from him.

Luke’s hands balled up into fists, Michael’s face was almost as red as his hair, and Ashton only began to get as watery eyed as I did as they read the dreaded contract. They all looked at him with stares as deadly as daggers, but his back was still turned, oblivious.

“Do you actually have this? Because if you don’t, this is a really sick prank Y/N.” Ashton said sternly. I shook my head defensively, pulling out the folded piece of paper quickly before stuffing it into my back pocket again.

“Why would I fucking lie about this Ashton? He’s been hiding it from us!” I scream whispered. 

“When did you find it? Where did you find it?” Michael asked.

“Today, under his shirt for the set. He was trying to hide it away so nobody would know that he’s fucking leaving.”

“C’mon, Calum may be stupid sometimes but I don’t think he’d be willing to give up the band like that. He wanted this more than any of us, he wanted the band to grow together and get to where we are now as a group, best friends, brothers. He wouldn’t dare leave us.” Luke defended.

“Then why did he hide it from us? Why didn’t he just flat out say no and not take the contract then? Why did he take it in the first place, and then sneak it past us, thinking we wouldn’t ever find out about it? Luke, this isn’t just your best friend, but mine also. Calum is everything to me. I know him as well as you guys, and even I know,” I sighed, before the next sentence came out, “the benefits are just too great. Calum is so straight-forward, if he really didn’t want to take the offer, he wouldn’t have even taken the contract.” 

As my voice died out, we heard behind us the convo of Calum, Mr.Jackson and Nia. Mr.Jackson had left momentarily before hustling back out to the small ‘living room’ we were all hanging out in. There was a huge guitar-bass like case in his right hand, and he set it down at Calum’s both, both him and Nia smiling proudly.

“Open it son. It’s a gift from all of us here.” Mr.Jackson smiled.

Calum carefully bent down and opened the case, revealing a new jet black glossy finished bass, clean and obviously expensive. Calum held it in his hands as if it was a new born baby, gocking at it’s new fine beauty. He was speechless, and beside me I heard all 3 of the boys groan to themselves.

“M-Mr.Jackson…w-why, why did you give me this?”
“Let’s just say, someone put in a good word for you,” he winked at Nia beside him, “and said you deserve it, and I agree wholeheartedly.”

“This…this is incredible, thank you so much!” His smile stretched up to his under eyes, the heartfelt crinkly smile that I adored so much was on his face for all the wrong reasons, and he was slowly becoming the Calum I didn’t know.

My world came crashing down, though, as Nia reached up to Calum’s cheek and placed a tender kiss on it. My heart broke seeing the two together, acting like a more real couple than him and I had this whole tour. Tears broke out of my eyes as they cascaded down my cheeks, my hands and face becoming hot, as I ran back to the dressing room. All eyes focused back on me, a concerned/sad look on everyone else’s face but only a smirk to be found on Nia’s.

As I shut the door behind me, I ran toward the back of the room near the table with all the boys necessities on it and rested my hands on it, letting out a loud sob that I had been desperately trying to hold in. My vision was instantly blurry, soaking the table beneath me. I heard the door creak open, not caring who was there, my almost hopeless state completely taking up my attention.

“Was that fun to watch?” The snarky voice echoed throughout the door. I shuttered as my tears stopped, but still kept my back to her.

“You tell me.” I sniffled.

I heard her chuckle and she walked into the room slowly.

“Why are you doing this to me. I haven’t done anything, to deserve the downright hateful things you have done to me.” I turned around to face her, trying hard to show off that I wasn’t phased or intimidated by her.

“You, little ms.princess, weren’t even suppose to be on this tour in the first place! It was suppose to be Luke’s mom! You haven’t even been doing anything to help Calum out, I’ve stepped in multiple times just to save his freaking job!” I was taken back, and gasped.

“So giving him that contract to become a solo artist is you being helpful? You’re not only trying to control his life, but you’re trying to ruin mine, and my best friend’s!” She could only smirk at my reply.

“You just don’t like the fact that I,won.”

“Is Calum the prize? Is the press and money the prize? No thanks, Nia. You’re very good at a game that I’m tired of playing! So, I guess you’re getting your wish. I’m done here. He’s all yours.” I swiftly grabbed my purse off the table and turned for the door, to see Calum already standing there, arms open for me.

“Baby…c’mon please talk to me.” He pleaded as I walked past him out of the room. “None of this means anything if I don’t have you here by my side experiencing it with me, please, I wasn’t trying to break up apart!”

I stopped in my tracks, my heart sinking at his lies. I angrily pulled out the contract from my pocket, quickly opened it up, and threw it down towards his feet.

“That! That is what’s breaking us apart, Calum! The lies, the sneaking around, the new feelings you’ve developed for Nia! I’m out of here.” I could hear his sniffles as he picked up the crumpled up paper as I stumbled out of the backstage door. But I soon heard his footsteps, coming after me.


CLIFFHANGER! Again, this imagine is based off of HSM2, so any language that’s familiar to you guys in here is from the movie. The next part will be the actual ‘gotta go my own way scene’ just a heads up. And I know this part went by kinda quickly, but I hope you enjoyed it none the less.

8

Just in case any of you guys needed to hear someone say that they believe in you today. 
Please know that I believe in you all too. You’re all capable of so much more then you even realize. There’s a lot of terrible negative things in the world that make you feel like you’re not good enough no matter how hard you try or that you don’t deserve happiness in life for whatever reason. But that’s not ever true! I may not know you all personally but no matter what you think or how people make you feel you still 100% deserve happiness in life and to love who you are and feel comfortable in your own skin. In my opinion you all matter and have something to offer the universe and the world around you just by existing.  

I love whenever Seán does this in his videos no matter how random it is. xD He doesn’t even need to say this but he does anyway and honestly I extremely appreciate that. It’s so nice to see him try to spread even just a tiny bit more positivity to people. :)

For my younger fans - Some words on school, bullying & feeling alone

So I’ve been seeing a lot of talk about ‘13 Reasons Why’ recently. It has given me something I want to say to my younger fans & followers who may be dealing with shitty times at school, college, social media or life in general.

When I was a kid in secondary school (it’s kind of our version of high school in Ireland) I experienced a lot of bullying, as did many kids there. Young people in this situation often feel completely helpless and powerless to change anything. It’s even been a theme in my songs at times. I get messages from a lot of you who know this and who are going through similar things.

It’s hard to ask for help for many reasons: shame, fear of feeling or looking weak, the nasty emotional blackmail of that manipulative, bully-enabling social rule: ‘If you report someone who hurt you, that makes you a rat’. We (old farts) were lucky enough to at least have peace from it at home, I cannot begin to imagine how intrusive bullying can feel in the social media age. My heart goes out to those of you who have to deal with that bullshit.

I’m not writing this to tell you it’s all ok and it doesn’t matter – I know this shit cuts deep and it hurts like hell, every day. People will pass it off as ‘kids being kids’ or ‘banter’ but nah, it fucking sucks and it can completely ruin one’s teenage years. I remember feeling pretty hopeless when adults would spout off about how these were ‘the best years of my life’ (Spoiler – they definitely weren’t)

The reason I’m writing this is to let you know that school is not the ubiquitous be all & end all experience of your life that it can feel like when you’re there. The roles that others try to put you into now don’t define you and never will. School ends and people go their own way in life. You can get through it.

So if you’re dealing with bullying, hopelessness, depression, suicidal feelings – please talk to someone. A parent, a friend, a school councellor, the Samaritans, a like minded internet community or a subreddit like r/depression. There are options. No matter how alone you feel, there are others who know how you feel and understand it. It’s ok to open up and to bring yourself the care & help you deserve. You’re not weak to do it. On the contrary, it makes you brave and strong enough to confront things we are all afraid of.

For every nasty bully in the world there are ten times as many good hearted people who want others to be ok and want to help. I know it doesn’t feel like it in school years but we outnumber them and always will. Many of them even grow up to be better people, always regretful of how they treated others in school.

You are as deserving of love & joy as anyone else and I believe in you. You have a long, exciting road ahead of you and the world is a much larger place than those classrooms, corridors and campuses. Many of the coolest, most successful and most interesting people I know were social outcasts in school. I wish you strength, happiness and love. Keep rockin’.

Gav

1. People leave. All of them. Even if you think they’ll stick with you forever, they won’t. I won’t be pathetic and say things like they’ll rip your lungs and leave you breathless on bathroom floor. Some of them will, some will quietly disappear and you won’t even notice. But there is ONE person that’ll be there always, only one and that’s you. So try to make yourself happy.
2. Work on making experiences and memories instead on focusing on things. They will last more than that brand new iPhone.
3. Some things are fucking scary and you’ll be scared shitless but sometimes you just have to do it. Don’t think, just do it.
4. I’ve already mentioned people will leave, but when they’re here, love them with all your heart. Love them like you’ve never been hurt and be nice to them and make them feel good. Do it for yourself. But remember to put yourself first and if they make you feel like shit, leave.
5. Find people that inspire you and make you feel loved and like you can conquer the world. Surround yourself with creative, smart, caring, funny and good people. You deserve that.
6. You have to learn to accept yourself. I know it’s hard and that you’d rather be someone else. Someone prettier. smarter, more popular, richer, skinnier, better. But you can only be you. Good news; you can be prettier, smarter, more popular, richer, skinnier, better you if you work hard on yourself and never give up. And accept yourself as a bunch of flaws and learn to love yourself for it. Get to know yourself better. ‘If a lion knows his strength, no man can control him’.
7. It took me long to realize this but everyone, literally everyone has some problems, some things they hate about themselves, something or someone they can’t get over. You’re not the only one.
8. Every day go on an adventure. It doesn’t matter if you skip a class, sneak in the random building nearby, try to hold in laughing so people who live there won’t hear you and hang out on the roof or take a night ride in car of your friend who just passed a driving test. Break a routine. Live.
9. You can’t help people if they don’t want someone to help them. It will hurt to see someone you love suffering and knowing you aren’t able to help. It will hurt like hell, but you can’t do anything.
10. Laugh. Laugh until your stomach hurts and you cry and you pee in your pants a little and look like a mess. But who cares? It’s the best feeling ever.
11. You’ll have to decide what are you going to do with your life and choose college and job. Choose to do what you love, because that’s the only way you’ll be good at it. Remember you are choosing will you, 10 years from now, get up on a Monday morning feeling like you’re going to hell or looking forward to begin with your day.
12. You can do literally everything. You can become President, lose weight, get your life together or do whatever the fuck you want to do (not neccesserly in that order). All you need to do is to stop yourself from stopping yourself (if you get what i’m saying), and have some motivation and dedication. When you wake up say to yourself I OWN THIS.
13. Every day write down what have made you happy that day, or what are you grateful for. At first it may be hard, but just keep doing it.
14. Surround yourself with art. Go to museums, galleries, concerts, look up when you’re walking down the street to see architecture. Draw, write, sing, play any instrument. Beautiful thing about art is that it has infinite ways to be understood.
15. Read good books, classics. They may not seem interesting at first, but i promise you’ll learn a lot. I have nothing against John Green, but fault is not in our stars. Fault is in ourselves, and we create our own destiny
16. Take photos of everything. Few years later you’ll be glad you did.
17. Love yourself unconditionally. Do things that make you happy or are good for you. Never let other people define your worth. Live up to YOUR expectations and opinions, not others. The most valuable thing i realized this year is that i’m worth it. I deserve the best. No one has to save me, i love myself enough to be my own savior. I’m unstoppable and beautiful. And no one can make me feel anything less.
—  17 things i learned while being 17
  • what she says: I'm fine
  • what she means: if you think about it, Hannah Baker deserved so much better. she literally did not ask for all the shit she went through. she just wanted to have some happiness in her life and be able to shared that happiness with someone and when she opened to someone, they treated like shit. everyone was cruel enough to make her feel like she did not matter in this world that she reached a bottom where she preferred to take her own life in order to stop suffering from all the shit other people did to her. she tried to be a good friend. everyone treated her like shit. she was bullied, she was abused (both physically and verbally), she was humiliated by everyone. but there was clay, who was the only one person that cared for her and she thought she wasn't good, kind and decent for her because she thought she would've ruined him because of everything that happened to her. she felt like shit because of the mistakes and fucked up things they did to her. everyone shitted on her and they all let her down. she decided to end her life to stop suffering. from suffering from all the shit they did to her while she literally did not do anything to deserve all that shit. she tried. she tried so hard to give life another shot. but she couldn't. she couldn't take it anymore. Hannah Baker deserved better. repeat it with me. HANNAH BAKER DESERVED BETTER.
Girlfriend Sulli

imo, she’s the type of girl to put her all into a relationship. so much so that she may loose herself :/ she wants nothing more than to make her s/o happy so if that person is toxic and a bad influence, she will stay with them out of love and make up excuses for all their bad actions. I hope you genuinely love and care for Sulli. she deserves someone who can appreciate her warm heart and the effort she will put into the relationship

Originally posted by choissul

If you’re smaller than her, she’ll love hugging you and resting her chin on your head. With you wrapped in her arms, it makes her feel like she can protect you from the evils of the world. From the closeness, you get to smell her floral perfume and sweet shampoo. She always smells good so those hugs are so relaxing. You find it hard to fall asleep unless you’re in her arms.

Although if you’re taller than her, she’ll be impressed. Taller girls don’t usually get to feel smol and fluffy standing next to someone. So having a tall s/o be able to rest their chin on her head makes her heart flutter.

Originally posted by female-idols

Loves to cook for you. Would gladly spend hours in the kitchen after a difficult schedule, making you your favourite things to eat. She loves watching you eat happily and feel nourished.

Originally posted by choissul

As someone so friendly and warm, she makes friends wherever she goes. And her beauty, coupled with her personality, could make you jealous as she unwittingly has people falling for her left, right and centre. There’s nothing to worry about though. Sulli is fully committed and nothing will ever change that. Regardless of what rumours the media spreads or what that person wanting her attention offers her, she would still pick you in a heartbeat.

Originally posted by fuckyeah-fx

Often prefers to wear your clothes, particularly anything baggy. Your scent relaxes her and she feels so loved in your comfy, baggy clothes. She’d much rather those than tight, restrictive dresses and heels. Oh and if you bring her ice cream then even better. She’ll know it’s true love ;D

Originally posted by 5princesses

You like rewatching the dramas she’s appeared in to tease her. Or taking pics of her advertisements on billboards or shop windows to send to her like ‘Wow, this woman looks so familiar. Wonder if she’s single? ;)’

Originally posted by sulliyaa

Her smile honestly saves lives. Whenever you’re down or have had a bad day, her bright personality and beautiful smile always pick you back up. Sulli can’t stand to see you frown so she tries to always keep you happy. Which isn’t possible, there will be days when you’re down and she stupidly blames herself :/ She feels like a bad gf those days so you need to reassure her that’s she wonderful. That even her pure smile can’t make all the bad things in the world go away.

Originally posted by wearelivinginthesmtown

Sulli is such a warm, caring gf. She always puts you first, even times when she shouldn’t (like if she’s sick). She does this because you mean the whole world to her. She may seem like a clingy gf but that’s only out of concern, as she’s always checking up on you. She remembers everything you tell her, even something silly like running out of lip balm. And she would damn well trek through rain and snow to get one for you. That’s the type of woman she is.

You come first, always. This is why she can sometimes loose herself in a relationship. You need to remind her to think of herself sometimes. This mutual love and care is what makes the love last. Nothing in the world could break this love apart.

Originally posted by choissul

i never thought i could identify and relate myself as i do with you. you suffered from the same pain, you criticized what i criticize, listened to the music i listen. your anger was too present as was your depression. you were a sensitive and emotional and loving and caring human being. fuck what they all say. fuck them, who call you psychopath, sick and monster. you were screming for help and no one listened or cared. you were too good for this world of sickness, filth and hypocrisy. you deserved better. i don’t believe in paradise or hell, but i’m sure you’re in a better place. nothing is worse than humanity. i’ve never met you, yet it’s like i’ve known you for years, like childhood friends. i miss you everyday and i can’t say how much i hate what happened to you. it hurts me to think someone as brilliant as you won’t get to go to college, marry, have life and kids. you deserved so much better. it’s another year and another birthday we celebrate without you. but you are remembered and loved and cared for by a huge number of people who understand what you felt, or like to think we do. i love you. happy birthday, baby boy. rest in peace.

Longer post about being in a relationship while mentally ill

I feel like when I answered the ask I answered way too short on what I felt so I wanted to get more into it, I’m glad the anon sent me that message because that’s something that I thought about for a long time.

Because I am mentally ill, I felt completely unlovable. BPD (in my case) really makes things even worse, I’m clingy, i have massive breakdowns over the smallest things, I overthink, I cry over everything, i take everything personal— the list goes on. These things… these things about myself that I’m working so hard on, have made me feel like I’m the lowest, most revolting person on earth. Every time I would be rejected immediately, because I was “too needy”, “too weird”, “too high maintenance”. These things that I really cannot control, were seen so unappealing, that it affected the view I had (and still have) of myself. I would look in the mirror and just see this distorted thing. I was unlovable, gross, a fucking monster. I couldn’t even look at myself for a while, I didn’t value my life at all. All because I felt that I was undeserving of love and that I, a “freak” as they called me, would never have anyone to tell them they loved them as much as I did.

Even though I’m in a relationship (and I couldn’t be happier) these thoughts still stick to me. What if he leaves me because I’m too much? What if I get annoying? What if he never really loves me and he’s doing it out of pity? What if? What if? What if? I keep thinking this, and it eats me alive. Every time he tells me he loves me, I feel so much joy in my heart I can’t help it, but… there’s a part of me that doesn’t want me to believe him. A part of me, which is my BPD, that reminds me that I am no good. I’m just a manipulative, fucked up individual that will just hurt him… I’ll just ruin everything as I always do.

These thoughts, as a mentally ill person with no way of getting professional help, are constant. And it’s a never ending battle to want to FEEL the love they’re giving you. Of course, there’ll be days where you can’t handle it, you’ll break down, and you’ll need to rest. And that’s okay!! Everyone needs to rest from time to time, especially from our thoughts.

But what I really want to make a point with this post is: You. Deserve. Love.

Don’t stop yourself from giving or receiving love because you’re mentally ill. You, just like everyone else, deserves to be with a person who loves you and supports you; every single side of you. There will always be someone that will hold your hand when you feel like the world is collapsing on you, they might not be there now, but I promise they will be. You are whole, and you deserve all the love you desire, no matter what.

“Hey,” I begged him, feeling stupid again because apparently I chose the wrong timing for all of this. Apparently this was his breakdown after keeping everything to himself. “I’m sorry if it wasn’t appropriate, but please explain me what’s going on.”

“That’s not what you were thinking, Irene,” he finally said between sobbing. “In fact, I do feel the same way. I’ve loved you since the very first day when I saw you at the beach and you were so concerned because of me, the guy who you didn’t even know. Then I got to explore you better and, Irene… you’re the most amazing person in the whole world for me. I’ve often thought how lucky I am to have you. I’ve loved you all along… I was just, you see - good at hiding it, I guess.”

“But why, Milo? We agreed to share everything with each other! We would have sorted it…”

“Because I just don’t deserve to have someone like you,” Milo whispered, looking down, then at me. “You’re so great, Irene. I couldn’t even imagine anyone like me beside you for life. More than all I want you to be happy, and I often pictured you with someone bright and cheerful who will ensure you the best life possible, who can’t be compared to me, an orphan that barely has any inheritance from his grandma, struggles with depression and can let anyone beat him up in the ugliest way… without fighting. It was always breaking my heart, but I knew I’m not meant to be with you, Irene. So I didn’t want to get my hopes up. I told myself we’re just friends, we’re only friends. I could never believe that you might see me as something more.”

anonymous asked:

CONGRATU-FUCKING-LATIONS ON GETTING A GIRLFRIEND!!!!! YOU ARE SO SWEET AND DESERVE TO BE HAPPY I AM SO GLAD THAT YOU NOW HAVE SOMEONE TO CALL A LOVER!!!! ♡♡ I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!!!! ♡♡♡

WOW THANK YOU!!!! I am so so ridiculously happy every day it’s mental. Every time I get a message from her I’m just like:

Originally posted by kasugano

joshlerismyfren  asked:

Could I request an imagine please? I was wondering if you could make one about the reader having an argument with Josh then going off to the airport to fly back home (England in my case) but stops themselves when they hear Josh calling their name. The reader stops and rushes back over to Josh and it's all fluff from there.. Thank you! Xx

The lack of posting recently is really awful (I’m so sorry), but here you go! This is very long overdue, but I hope you enjoy!

Please Don’t Go (A Josh Dun Imagine)

Trigger Warnings: None

Packing was always bittersweet. You loved visiting your family back in England, but that meant being separated from Josh. You always managed to make it work, video chatting and calling for hours every night, but no matter how much you kept in-touch, you always missed him terribly when you were gone.

Today was going to be especially hard. Normally, you left for a week or two before returning, but this time, you were going to be gone almost an entire month. You wanted to make the most of time with Josh that you had left.

You sat cross-legged on the floor, humming softly as you folded clothes and packed them neatly into your suitcase for the trip. Distracted by the task-at-hand, you didn’t even hear Josh come up behind you until he was planting a soft kiss on the top of your head.

“How’s it going?” He asked you, making his way across your shared bedroom to grab his phone charger.

“Could be better. I hate leaving you.” You sighed, brushing a loose strand of hair out of your eyes before stuffing your toothbrush in the bag.

“I hate it when you leave too. But it’ll be nice to see your family, right?”

“Yeah, I guess so.”  You said absentmindedly, folding a sweater before stuffing it into the bag. “Hey I was thinking maybe you drive me to the airport tonight? We could stop for dinner on the way.”

Josh wound the phone charger around his palm. “Can’t. Tyler and I are recording tonight, remember? We booked the studio months ago; I can’t just ditch.”

You looked up from packing. You hadn’t expected him to say no. “But, it’s our last chance to see each other before I leave.” You whined, failing to mask the disappointment in your voice.

He gave you a sad smile. “I know baby, I really wish I could, but there’s not much I can do.”

“Why don’t you just call the studio, ask to reschedule?”

“That’s not how it works.”

“I’m sure there’s some way for-“

You flinched as Josh slammed his hand down hard on the dresser. His calm expression had quickly contorted into sheer exasperation.

“There’s not, okay? Tyler and I have been planning this for months. I’m sorry that our plans happened to fall on the same night that you leave, but there’s nothing I can do about it. I can’t just re-arrange my life around your needs; I have things I need to do too. You need to learn that everything doesn’t revolve around you all the time.”

You froze, your eyes wide in shock. Josh had never yelled at you. Ever. Swallowing the lump in your throat, you grabbed your suitcase and headed toward the hall.

Fine. Have fun recording.” You choked bitterly, your voice dripping with sarcasm, before slamming the door behind you.

It wasn’t until you were on the sidewalk outside that the tears took over. The bitter wind whipped through your thin hoodie and stung your tear-stained cheeks as you marched bitterly toward the bus stop, your suitcase bumping along the cracks in the pavement behind you. You knew your relationship with Josh had been too good to be true. You should have backed out while you still had a chance. You fought back angry tears as you realized that he cared about his career more than he cared about you. Clenching your fist tighter, you dug your nails deep into your palm to keep yourself from losing it.

You were relieved to see that there was no one waiting at the bus stop when you arrived, giving you a chance to recollect yourself before someone saw you crying. When the bus arrived a few minutes later, you had managed to wipe the tears from your eyes and make yourself appear at least semi-presentable.

You chose a seat toward the back. The bus was surprisingly empty, with only a few passengers scattered throughout the rows.  Pulling out a pair of earbuds, you leaned your head against the window and watched everything whiz by in streaks of color. You turned up the music, trying to concentrate on the lyrics, but all you could think about was Josh.

How could he have prioritized his music over you? You guys had been through thick and thin together, and now you were going to lose him over some dumb recording session?

The rest of the bus ride was spent staring out the window, swaying gently over the bumpy roads. You felt numb, the anger of the argument wearing off into misery. When you finally reached the airport, it was getting dark, and the sun hung low over the horizon, casting a warm glow over everything in sight. You grabbed your suitcase and headed for the doors of the building.

You followed the same routine you did every time you left for home. Bag check, security, coffee. This time was different though. There was no rush of excitement, no jittery anticipation. Everything felt routine and lifeless.

Sitting down at the gate, the realization of how inconsiderate you’d been hit you like a truck at full force. You once again felt the familiar sting of tears welling up in your eyes, but you were determined to contain them this time. You felt awful for having been so selfish. Of course he loved you, but he loved his career too. He’d been waiting so long to record; of course he couldn’t just cancel it for you. You knew that his music meant the world to him, but in the heat of the moment, you’d been too focused on yourself to think about his perspective. Maybe Josh was right; maybe you did act like the world revolved around you.

Every second you spent with your thoughts made you feel sicker and sicker. Subconsciously, you reached into your back pocket and pulled out your phone. You needed to apologize for how acted. But before you could click Josh’s number, you stopped yourself. Maybe this was for the best. Maybe the fight was a good thing. After all, Josh deserved someone better than you could ever be.

A monotone voice blared over the intercom. “Flight 206 to London-Heathrow will begin boarding shortly.”

Gathering your wits, you stood up from the bench and replaced your phone in your back pocket, joining the other people in line.

This was it. There was no turning back now. You were leaving here, leaving Josh. The painful lurch in your stomach almost convinced you to turn back, to call Josh and apologize, but you knew that was unfair to him. He deserved so much better.

“(Y/N)!”

Confused, you looked up from your boarding pass. You could swear that voice belonged to Josh. Looking over your shoulder toward the voice, all you saw was an older couple walking strolling slowly past the gate. You shook your head, embarrassed at how ridiculous that was. Why would Josh be here? But then you heard the voice again, louder, clearer this time.

Turning around again, your heart skipped a beat as you saw Josh sprinting toward you. His eyes were puffy and his hair was a mess, but there was a look of pure relief on his face.

You took off running toward him, the pent-up tears finally streaming down your face, but this time it wasn’t out of anger or despair, but utter joy. Josh was here.

When you finally reached him, you were swept off your feet by his enthusiastic embrace. He was breathing heavy, clearly having run as fast as he possibly could to catch you before your flight took off.

“I’m…sorry.” He panted, trying to catch his breath. “I-”

You squeezed him tightly, never wanting to let him go ever again. “It was my fault.” You sputtered, still holding him tight. “I’m sorry. I was so selfish. I know how much recording means to you.”

You stood there for a minute, wrapped in each other’s arms, while Josh caught his breath. His presence was so comforting; you didn’t even mind the ugly hiccups and sniffles you were making. He was here. He came for you.

A few minutes later, Josh’s breathing had become steady. He rubbed your back gently as he spoke, resting his head on yours. “I was really stressed out about this album and I was upset because you were leaving and, well… I didn’t mean to snap at you.”

“It’s not your fault. I was only thinking about myself.”

“No babe, I understand.”

He kissed your forehead gently and brushed a stray piece of hair out of your face with his thumb.

“So we’re good then?” He asked tentatively, looking you in the eyes.

You nodded. “I’m so glad you came.”

Unaware of what a scene you’d been making, you were startled when the ticket lady cleared her throat loudly behind you. “Are you coming or not? We’re on a schedule here.”

Frazzled, you turned to grab your carry on, but Josh grabbed your wrist, pleading desperately. “Please don’t go; I need you.”

You glanced at the gate and the angry ticket woman, conflicted. “I already told my mum I was coming.”

“I’ll buy you another ticket. You can fly out next week; I can even come too if you want. Just please don’t go. When you left, I… I realized how much I need you.”

You knew your mum would be upset, but there was no way you could ever get on that plane. You wanted to stay with Josh forever.

“Okay.”

“Really?” The smile that lit up Josh’s face was bigger than you’d ever seen before.

“Yeah. I don’t want to leave, I want to stay right here with you.”

He pulled you up against him once again, his arms around your waist, and held you close. You let your head rest on his warm chest and wrapped your arms around his neck, holding on like it was life or death. You’d almost lost him once, and you promised yourself you would never let him go again.

Namjoons ideal type ((:

•okay so I wanna start by saying, someone with an imagination?? Or Someone who is creative

•Someone who could just blurt out a random fact about anything at anytime (cute omg)

•Also someone who likes to read possibly? Because books can really take your mind places

•Namjoon is very intelligent so I can see him being with someone a bit smart as well… Someone who shares the same qualities

•But although their minds and personalities are extremely creative, their outside look is plain and simple. Someone comfortable in just converse, jeans and a T-shirt (:

•NAMJOON IS V TALL so I can see him being with someone just a bit shorter than him. It would make him a bit comfortable? (Though height isn’t an important quality)

•Speaking of qualities, someone who isn’t afraid to show off their HOEY side you know? Or put themselves out there a bit (lord knows he’d do it with you)

•Someone who will gladly help him come up with lyrics or inspire him to write during a block or something. With you by his side he’d have endless things to write about :)

•Also someone who doesn’t mind doing a bit of work, or getting their hands dirty

•Someone that will happily lay out all night and watch the stars, pointing out constellations in the sky and enjoy every minuet of it

•Someone who is possibly a bit more of a talker, I take him as being the “Life is more interesting when you let others talk” kinda guy

•But also someone who will take their time to listen to what he had to say and help him when he’s stressed.

•Like Jungkook, I think he’d want someone who doesn’t mind some skinship ( (((;;; )

•Someone willing to step out of their comfort zone to experience new things

•and someone who wouldn’t even THINK about being unloyal for a second (I’m sure they’d all want that)

•Namjoon deserves so much love and would take such good care of his S/O because you’d be his entire world! He would love you so much and you would do the same. Cutest couple ever omg.

Here it is!! I hope you enjoyed it! (I had to re write it because the first one didn’t even upload!!) I had fun writing it!

—Admin Brit

Are you Barabbas?

Don’t you hear this sermon every year? The people chose Barabbas over Jesus, just like we choose sin over God all the time for our own selfish needs.

But I think we are looking at this wrong. We aren’t the crowds. We aren’t Pontius Pilate. We are Barabbas. You see, God is just. He had to punish someone for sin, and even though Jesus did nothing wrong and deserved to be set free, God chose to punish him, to scourge him, to crucify him and let Jesus bear the guilt of the world. 

Barabbas was not a good guy. We don’t know the extent of his sin, but he did not deserve to go free. Just like us. You. Me. All of us are Barabbas.