someone just throw me off a bridge

Dating Jungkook would include:

Originally posted by hobilu

.. gracious lord he makes me have dirty thoughts.

.. and I can’t be the only one, don’t deny it.

.. but they’re always running through his mind so that’s why making a PB&J sandwich is so nerve racking.

.. like excuse me I am trying to work here get your sexy face away.

.. no pda in public or even infront of the members but God forbid someone touching you.

.. because he is unbelievably territorial.

.. it’s mine, you keep your hands and eyes off my property.

.. and it makes you feel so happy but sometimes you’re like Bro we just shook hands.

.. and he will be like I know men, it wasn’t a normal hand shake.

.. then you want to throw him off a bridge.

.. but you always want to throw him off a bridge.

.. except when he bites his lip and cocks his eyebrow and just get here and kiss me already.

.. he would never show that he is jealous, but when he rubs the inside of his cheeks with his tongue he would give everything away.

.. so he has to assert his dominance.

.. That’s why you’ve been practically sitting in his lap for the entire evening.

.. SINGING YOU TO SLEEP OMG.

.. “Those thighs are mine jagiya, just saying”

.. when you two first started dating he was extremely shy, like so shy he would take a step back if you two stood too close.

.. but after a couple mid winter ice-creams, and late night texts he let out his inner idiot.

.. and it makes you feel so confused like is the man grinding on me while pulling on a meme face because of some stupid challenge is the same man who got all sweaty and tired when you two brushed hands.

.. but whenever you say something stupid he would lick his lips in irritation and give you the silent treatment for the rest of the day.

.. so you shout out loud in the dorm that he shouldn’t get all cocky because he is the one who broke Jin’s Mario figure while pretending to be a sniper.

.. so after a good ass scolding from the eldest and smacking your head everything is forgotten.

.. jungkook can’t stay away from you, so the dorm will eventually become your second home.

.. You’ll be taking naps with yoongi, cooking with Jin, picking outfits with rap mon, and cause chaoes with the maknae line.

.. it’s all really fun until you guys break something.

.. Sometimes he zones out when he thinks of you, and that’s why he looks so shook, you confuse him with how beautiful you are.

.. so you are always catching him staring at you when you are speaking with a soft smile you make his world shine.

.. he wanted to take stuff easy at first because he was afraid of commitment and I am still a child, but as the days moved by, he realized that he can’t be with anyone other than you.

.. video game dates are his favourite because you get to sit in his lap and curse at each other, it’s such a stress relief.

.. well actually you are stress relief.

.. kookie had a bad day? He must be laying his head on your legs and playing with your fingers.

.. “Wait a second listen to this song”

.. you shouldn’t let your guard down around him because trust me he will prank you at any possible opportunity.

.. your terrified face and high pitched scream just send so much joy through his body.

.. but he knows how exactly to make up for scaring you so bad. He is defiantly the type to worship his lover’s body, kissing every inch of your skin is his way of saying I love you.

.. trust me those biceps are the best thing to hold on when the 4th round comes around.

.. “Don’t you dare call me oppa again” “Then what should I?” “…Baby boy”

.. jungkook is a responsible man. He knows very well how to take care of you. Music is his passion, but you are too and I have to stop because I am tearing up with feels.

if theo dies in the series finale you can just as well throw me off a bridge. sure, a meaningful death by sacrificing himself to save someone from the pack is something that makes sense for a redemption arc, but it would also be the most cliché thing ever. there are other ways to prove that he’s redeemed himself than by dying for it, so if teen wolf really chooses that ending for him and builds up all that character development just for him to die in the end, i’ll be so mad. this boy is only just starting to learn what it’s like to care about someone other than himself, and he still has such a long way to go. his childhood has been ripped from him, he never knew what it’s like to have friends, to have people around him that don’t just despise him, and he deserves to discover what that feels like – and that’s something that can’t happen in the short screen time he’ll get in the finale, but only after that. what he did in season five was wrong, even if he thought he was doing the right thing, that’s something that everyone can agree on – but he’s trying so hard, and doing so well, to make up for it and find a place to belong. but he isn’t at the end of his journey yet, and i just hope that’s something the teen wolf writers realized when coming up with the finale. 

PLEASE READ THIS

For the past two days, I have spent my entire time glued to my phone helping somebody who was once a stranger to me. Two days ago, a stranger privately messaged me saying that she wanted some help. I’m not going to go into her details, but something traumatic had happened and she hadn’t felt the need to breathe no longer. So, I stopped writing and postponed the fics that needed to be uploaded, and I spoke to her all day and all night. It took two whole days to convince her that her life was worthy and I do not regret a single second of it. I saved a life and it makes me so damn happy.

The point of this whole thing is to remind you that you are NOT alone and that I am ALWAYS here to speak to. Suicide isn’t something I like and it’s a tough subject for me to deal with, but I’ll push through my trauma just to make sure you’re okay.

As most of you know (if you have been following me for the ten months), it has taken me nearly five months to return to daily activities after losing my best friend to suicide in early November last year. It had hurt more than I thought it would when I found out because in early January last year I had lost my only cousin to suicide and my best friend promised me he wouldn’t leave me that way. I had only just returned to daily activities before losing him, too. Now, I’m just a clueless mess on where to start living with my life. Nothing has been the same without the two of them bugging me constantly.

If you think that killing yourself is the only way to end all the pain you feel—let me remind you that it isn’t the only way. If you ever went through with that, all that pain you feel will drift into those who love and care for you and let me tell you know, that pain it is not the best. If you ever contemplate it, please message me. I wouldn’t want to lose another precious soul who belonged on this Earth. You are worthy of every breath you take. You are worthy of your existence. You are loved and you are cared for. You’re a beautiful person and you shouldn’t allow that to become nothing.

Talk to me about anything—anything that is troubling you, anything that is hurting you, anything that is harming your life—just message me and I’ll be there to listen to you. Heck, I’ll freaking facetime you just to make sure you are okay and I’ll stay up all night to make sure that you stay okay. You are strong and you are capable of living. You matter in this world and there is someone out there who is waiting for your existence to be present in their life. That person is me. I love you and I don’t want you to leave this world behind. I want you to stay and be strong and hold your head up and ignore the negativity. I believe that you can make it. I’ll help guide you through hell, even if it means I have to open old wounds just to help you find your light. I’ll crawl through Hell over and over again just to get you all to safety.

So put down that gun, get rid of the rope, throw away those pills, flush down that blade, step away from the edge of the highest building, walk away from that bridge and turn off that stove. Whatever way you are choosing to end your life, get away from it.

Please, I’m begging you. Don’t throw your life away just because there’s bad in it. Keep breathing and keep crawling and you’ll find something good. This is coming from someone who has lost two amazing people to suicide and who has thought about it and suffers from depression herself. You matter to me and to the world.

Keep living. Keep breathing. Stay alive.
There’s good coming your way, just be patient, honeybee. I love you so much.

Remember; message me whenever you want. I am always here to listen and to help you. 💖

Awkward

Moodboard/header made by the fantastic @theenchantedgalleryofstories

Pairing: Leonard McCoy/Reader

Summary: Confession of feelings and semi-awkward first date with Leonard McCoy.

Word count: 2,697


“So, what are you up to this evening?” you asked when you caught up with him.

“Well, I would study for that tactics exam but Jim’s probably going to try to drag me out to a bar,” he shrugged.

“Do you want to come by my place?”

“Don’t you have plans with what’s his face?”

“Nah, I turned him down.”

Leonard looked over at you and raised an eyebrow. “He’s been hitting on you for nearly two weeks.”

“Your point?”

“Have you just bene stringing him along?”

“I’ve been turning him down every time he asks me out. Not my fault he’s persistent.”

“You should go out with him. He clearly likes you and seems like a decent guy.”

“And I don’t like him. I have my eye on someone else.”

“Oh, do you now? Why haven’t asked him out?”

“Because it’s not time to yet,” you answered before splitting off from him. “See you at seven?”

“Yeah, unless Jim physically drags me out,” he called after you.

Keep reading

2.17 ‘Flash Back’ liveblog

@elrhiarhodan threw out the idea of doing a meta about Flash Back.  I accepted the challenge.

I let it happen again.  I trusted someone I shouldn’t have.  Jay Garrick.  Zoom.

Keep reading

Self-Inflicted Achromatic

Pairing: NamJin (Namjoon x Jin)
Rating: T (attempted suicide TW)
Genre: Angst

Words: 2,205

A/N: A summary isn’t worth writing. I wrote this in a throw of passion last night, after the idea sparked in my mind, and I have to say that I really like how it turned out. (Also, I’m not suicidal, so don’t worry. But if you are suicidal, please proceed with caution, and you’re always welcome to talk to me) <3

PS. I moved the song lyrics around to fit the story a little better~


Where someone like me being alive

Brings sadness to tens of thousands of people

And no one wants me:

I wish that’s the kind of world it was

If just by wiping me away

Hundreds of millions of people rejoiced

And no one held hatred for anything…

That kind of glad thing doesn’t exist.


Kim Namjoon. 22 years old. Mid-afternoon coffee whilst sitting under the clouds enthusiast. His thoughts never stop—similar to a train going too fast on the tracks, the wheels wobbling and the train threatening to derail at any little turn.

He likes to think that he’s living along with life—treading the earth with confidence and paving his own path—but he knows that he’s really falling through the sky. Falling and falling—everything whipping by too fast, too fleeting—no way to steer—and the ground can only get closer. Closer and closer everyday—until he splatters all over the sidewalk.

Maybe some artist will find his blood splatter to be a decent piece, and he’ll be preserved and sold to some museum in a million years, documenting the previous methods more primitive humans used to commit suicide.

What a reassuring thought.

Sighing, Namjoon stares out the rainy window of the café, tired eyes watching the unhappy gray clouds pass over. A baby bird in a tree nearby sits shivering, wet and cold. Namjoon empathizes—grabbing his coat and stepping into the street, umbrella nowhere to be found.

“What if I were a thundercloud?” he whispers, raindrops slicking his hair and blurring his vision. “I would have freedom not bound by the rules of man. I could be feared or loved…but after a short journey I’d shrivel up into nothing, and die off.”

Laughing in bitter amusement, Namjoon turns towards his home and makes sure to stomp in every puddle along the way. Just because he can.

“Maybe being a thundercloud wouldn’t be too bad.”


Where someone like me being alive

Doesn’t even register for hundreds of millions of people

And no one wants me

If that were the world, would that be okay?

Even if I get wiped away

That wouldn’t change some hundred million people

If no one will resent me, then

The results the same; a loss for me


“Hey,” Jin says when Namjoon walks through the door of their shared apartment. He’s at the stove, baking a new recipe he found tucked away in the back of a magazine, but pauses his in preparation when he hears the squelch of Namjoon’s shoes against the hardwood floor.

“I gave you an umbrella this morning!” Jin gasps, grabbing a towel and hurrying to Namjoon’s side. Namjoon says nothing for a moment, eyes locked on Jin as the older gets to work drying off his hair and clothes—plump bottom lip caught between his teeth. It’s a sign of worry, Namjoon realizes.

“I know. I accidentally forgot it at my lab this morning,” Namjoon shrugs, snatching the towel from Jin. He continues to lazily dry himself as he kicks off his shoes and starts into the apartment, Jin’s scolding of don’t ruin the wood floor by getting it wet!! going unheard to his ears. He simply drags himself into his bedroom and kicks the door shut behind him. He barely makes it to the side of the bed before he collapses—face falling roughly into the lumpy pillows.

Outside an ambulance whizzes by and Namjoon imagines some sad sap lying inside—oxygen mask on and their lover on the bench next to them, crying their eyes out and praying that the paramedic will cast a spell and make everything better.

A drop of fairy dust—a rare prayer to a god that might exist.

“I don’t want to be saved,” he whispers without thinking, eyes drifting shut, and falls asleep—just like the baby bird from earlier. Cold, shivering, wet…

But that bird was likely waiting for help from its mother or father. A protecting hand. A loving heart.

Namjoon doesn’t want any protection. He doesn’t want any help. He can receive all the love in the world but if love isn’t tangible than how can he be for certain that it’s true?

Namjoon wants to be done.


Tomorrow I’ll still tread between reality and dreams

Just like that, I’d love to disappear


The moon and stars catch Namjoon’s attention when he peeks his eyes open later that evening. They’re so bright and beautiful, and Namjoon finds himself wishing that he could fade into the night sky and vanish.

“I don’t want to be here,” he admits to no one in particular, placing his feet on the cold floor, and without bothering to change out of his still damp clothing, he leaves the room. Jin looks surprised when Namjoon walks into the kitchen, rummaging around the drawers, so he gently sets his book down and tip-toes over to investigate.

“Why are you holding a knife, Joonie?” Jin asks as cautiously as possible, blood running cold with fear as he focuses in on the blade in Namjoon’s hand. But Namjoon doesn’t respond, his eyebrows furrowing thoughtfully as he weighs the knife in his palm, and then after a minute he sets it down. Jin would feel relieved for that if Namjoon hadn’t immediately started towards the front door as well.

“Namjoon—where the hell are you going? It’s almost 11 already.”

Humming, but not truly giving an answer, Namjoon slips on his shoes and then turns around. His sad eyes bore right into Jin’s soul—the man freezing in his spot as Namjoon turns and starts towards him.

Arms looping gently around his back, Namjoon’s lips pressing a light, regretful kiss to Jin’s forehead, the younger holds him tight, just for a moment. He speaks nothing, his slow, sallow breathes the only sound reaching Jin’s ears, and Jin wonders why this feels so wrong. Why it feels like….Namjoon has a sense of finality about him.

What is he doing?

“Bye, hyung,” Namjoon speaks, voice tender, and then he makes for the door. Jin stares at his back as he leaves, the door shutting with a resounding click behind him. Something isn’t right. Something isn’t right.

Fuck!” Jin curses, jumping into action. He’s always known about Namjoon’s depressive side, and how a lot of days it manages to get the best of him, but this time is cutting it too close for comfort. Jin can’t just let Namjoon go out alone—not when that ”bye” felt far too final…

There’s no way this is happening Jin tells himself as he throws his coat on. He practically runs to the landing, shoves his feet into his shoes, and then darts out the door.

He doesn’t even care that he didn’t lock the apartment.


One child’s play dream

The way I am, someone like me is better off dead


Namjoon finds himself standing atop a bridge. It’s not elegant like the Golden Gate. There’s no perfectly spaced, illuminating street lights, or brilliant red paint. Only a flickering light down the way and a dented safety rail stained with skids of car paint. Beneath the bridge Namjoon can hear running water, but can’t see it. Even with the moon and stars shining bright through the open sky, all Namjoon can see below is darkness—and perhaps that’s what he wants.

It’s not that Namjoon hates life…because he doesn’t—not all the time. He has good days where his friends will drag him out for food and karaoke—and during those times he’ll get too distracted to remember the looming idea of killing himself. But the idea is always there—while he’s in class, while he’s eating, while he’s sleeping…

He’s not quite sure where the thought came from, but one day it appeared, and Namjoon decided not to fight it. Why would he? It makes sense in a world with so much hardship and suffering everywhere. Where people still don’t have equal right and the younger generation is looked at as an army of kids who don’t work hard in life.

Nothing seems to make him happy anymore—the world a canvas of monotonous colors. A splash of fresh paint here or there adds a touch of vibrancy, but after a while it rots into a moldy gray, and the world becomes bleak to his eyes once again.

Sighing, Namjoon steps onto the guard rail, standing on a tiny wooden block holding one of the rail supports in place. At the moment he feels nothing but the cold of night, and one last time he looks up at the stars in the sky, hoping that he’ll get to see them again one day.

Yah! KIM NAMJOON!”

The foot that had inched forward, preparing to leave solid ground, pauses—and confusion fills Namjoon as he furrows his brows and looks up the road. Kim Seokjin is running toward him as fast as he can, face red and glistening with sweat, and lungs heaving.

“I…what…,” Seokjin pants, hunching over and placing his hands on his knees, attempting to catch his breath. His mind is already reeling, but seeing Namjoon standing up on the edge of the bridge ready to jump makes him feel like he’s going to puke.

“What the hell are you doing?!”

“What you think,” Namjoon replies, voice unwavering, and Jin chokes on a sob.

“But…but why?!”

“Why not? I can’t do anything here.”

“You can do so much here, Namjoon!!” Seokjin cries, eyes pleading as he steps toward Namjoon, body defeated. “You may think that not being here will grant you more freedom, but nothing is guaranteed! You can’t…you can’t rely on what you don’t know! You’ll be happier here, Namjoon! If you just—!”

“I’m sorry, hyung,” Namjoon smiles, sliding his foot backwards until it leaves its footing. “I love you—”


Even if I were wiped away

That wouldn’t change some hundred million people

But there’s something preventing me

And showing me that face, I can’t bear to laugh about it.


As Namjoon slips off the guardrail and begins to disappear, Jin darts forward and grabs Namjoon’s wrist with all the strength he’s got. However, with Namjoon’s body already picking up momentum, Jin is pulled into the metal guardrail…and subsequently begins falling as well.

And in the late night under the stars, Kim Namjoon sees Kim Seokjin’s glowing face—stained with tears and doe eyes wide and fearful—and his heart beats harshly in his chest. A revival of emotion that he hasn’t felt for a good while now. Fear, and love.

Jin. CANNOT. DIE.

Pulling Seokjin in, Namjoon has barely enough time to tuck Jin’s head into his chest and hold him tight before his back smacks the water. All the air is pushed out of his lungs, bubbling up to the surface as they sink deeper, and while pain is radiating across Namjoon’s back furiously, he’s alive.

The river is deeper than he thought.

Darkness engulfs them, and just as Namjoon begins to feel that he may actually die from lack of oxygen, his back hits the rock floor of the river. A second later Jin’s fingers twitch around his wrist, and with a mighty push off the footing below, Jin propels them upward.

They break the surface and Namjoon sputters and chokes while Jin gasps and tugs Namjoon back towards the shore. They’re both shivering and wet, the night too cold, and Jin’s hair is already turning into icicles as he and Namjoon collapse onto the rocky shore of the river.

Teeth chattering, Jin desperately crawls onto Namjoon, resting his head on the youngers chest, tears forming in his eyes once again. Namjoon notices his sniffling through the cold and painful haze clouding his brain, and strains to lift his hand up, placing it atop Jin’s soaked brown locks.

“Why couldn’t you just let me die?”

Lifting his head up, Jin smiles at Namjoon sadly and brings his hands up to cup the boy’s face, pressing his lips to Namjoon’s gently.

“Because I love you too much to let someone as beautiful as you go to waste.”

Biting his lip, Namjoon sits up and holds Jin tighter, shielding his eyes against Jin’s shoulder as the elder rubs his back soothingly. The feeling of wanting to end it all isn’t completely gone from Namjoon’s mind, but the thought has certainly diminished—blocked out by Jin’s loving words and broken smile.

So, the two stand and make their way back up the hill and to the bridge. The night is still quiet—the stars remaining in place and bright as ever—and so the two walk hand in hand back towards their apartment, cold and beaten, but alive.

No stars in the sky flicker out and die, and Namjoon finds himself feeling a bit grateful that he’s still alive and next to Jin when he falls asleep in his bed that night.


Just because I’m alive

Why do you smile so much?

If you smile like that

No matter how sad, no matter how much I want to disappear

If only all of my reasons to say goodbye

Went away