someone is going to bite it

otlht  asked:

Hello! I've been looking for an Eremika fanfic but I can't find it. I can remember something about Eren going wild in his Titan form and accidentally biting off a portion of Mikasa's hand. I also remember one point in the door where Eren, in his Titan form took Mikasa in his mouth and ran off. She had a broken rib I think. I can also remember it's less than 20 chapters and superrrrrrr long

I’m not sure which fic that is, but maybe someone else will know? If you do know, please reblog with the name or link of the fic n.n let’s help a fellow EM shipper out!

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Doyoung “mom” protecting the kids 24/7  👨‍👦👦   

Lessons for the Signs
  • Aries: Think before you act. Sometimes, you are too impulsive and make decisions which can affect you negatively. Be selective of who you open to, but don't be scared to open up to people.
  • Taurus: You are smarter than you think you are. Give yourself some credit and try not to be too harsh on yourself. Learn how to vent your anger in a healthy way for yourself and the people around you.
  • Gemini: Make a concious effort to put your best in everything. Leave no room for messy work. Take charge of your own life and let go of others, especially toxic people who are getting you down.
  • Cancer: You need to let things go and remove the guilt you always feel. You need to move in and leave things behind in times of distress. Try to be more confident and believe in yourself. You're stronger than you think you are.
  • Leo: You need to learn how to love yourself without the approval and flattery from other people. Stop heding from yourelf and let yourself shine, without worrying about what other people think. Try to keep an open mind in all aspects.
  • Virgo: You need to understand that nobody is perfect and sometimes it's okay to ask for help when you need it. Embrace people close to you and be more charitable of their flaws. You also need to ube spontaneous once in a while.
  • Libra: You neeed to cut out toxic people from your life, for the betterment of yourself. You have to take charge of yourself and make decisions. However, try not be someone who you are not. You are going to just end up wasting your time.
  • Scorpio: Stop pushing people who love you away. You need to understand that relationships with other people are very important, and pushing people away will just hurt you. Try to admit when you're wrong. This will help you improve as a person.
  • Sagittarius: Stop biting off more than you can chew. This can make you very overwhelmed. Make fewer plans and stick by it. If something really bothers you, talk about it and let it out. Find your balance in your life.
  • Capricorn: You need to trust others and open up about your emotions. Let them know how you feel, and people will appreciate you in return. Sometimes, you also need to take some risks once in a while.
  • Aquarius: Don't bottle up your emotions inside. It isn't good for your health. Be honest more often, even though it can be hard. Start to embrace people as they are and your life will improve tremendously.
  • Pisces: You need to reliaze you're not alone. There are a lot of people who go through the same thing as you do. Don't feel like you are burdening others with your problems. You are allowed to have friends.
Kissing Styles...

James Potter: Very… very eager, but trying really… really hard to restrain himself. Knows how to do fun things with his tongue… has had a lot of practice. All in all… he’s what people like to describe as “fun”… 8/10 

Sirius Black: Knows how to adapt. Can pretty much match anyone’s kissing style, but likes deep, intense kissing the most… Also likes biting and hickeys. As talented as he is pretty. Down for basically anything… An enjoyable experience all the way around. 11/10

Remus Lupin: Nervous. Starts off slow… then kisses like it’s the last time he’ll ever kiss someone because he always feels like it’s the last time anyone will ever want to kiss him… 6/10 when he’s nervous… 9/10 when he relaxes and let’s go. 

Peter Pettigrew: Sweats a lot… too much tongue… 4/10  

Lily Evans: Expert kisser, knows her shit… at least as far as technicalities go… but lacks spontaneity. Get’s flustered when she doesn’t see something coming like James’ tongue tricks… also gets distracted easily (”SHIT! That’s due tomorrow!”)… Overall, needs some work. 6.5/10

Frank Longbottom: Handles you like you’re made of glass… very gentle… very sweet… enjoys kissing the spot just beneath your ear. Hates biting because he’s worried he’ll hurt you. Often stops to stare or chat. Worships the ground you walk on… 8/10 for kissing… 20/10 for making you feel like a goddess. 

Alice Longbottom: Kinky as fuck. 9/10

Dorcas Meadowes: Kinkier than fuck. Kisses like she owns your ass. Also hella gay. 10/10

Marlene McKinnon: Also also hella gay… less kinky. Uses a lot of tongue… but does it right. 9/10 

Mary Macdonald: Mary sue to the max… every kiss is like a reenactment of “The Notebook”. Disney-esque. 7/10

Regulus Black: Untrusting. Tends to panic if things go too quick… or too slow… or not exactly how he planned it. Perfectionist… and a bit of a control freak… doesn’t really know how to adapt to other kissing styles. 4.5/10

Narcissa Malfoy: Reserved… until between the sheets, then she will eat you alive. Mother fucking queen. Savage. Always tops. 10/10

Lucius Malfoy: Fun to look at… Terrible kisser. -5 stars. Two thumbs way down… would not recommend…. 0/10……………. alright… 2/10 for being pretty… Also… submissive af.  

Bellatrix Lestrange: Will rip your goddam lip off. 0/10…. unless you’re into that.

Fenrir Greyback: Will rip your goddam head off. -54/10

Severus Snape: Ew. 

12 Reasons Why Old Souls Have Such A Hard Time Finding Love

1. They have a strong sense of identity.

They know who they are, which means they also know – specifically – what they do and do not want in a partner, what works and what doesn’t. While this is fantastic in terms of being able to choose wisely, it ultimately diminishes their pool of prospects pretty significantly.

2. Left unchecked, their hyper-intuitiveness can wreck relationships.

Often prone to overthinking because of how deeply sensitive they are, their capacity to worry and make assumptions can break relationships that don’t have a perfectly strong foundation.

3. Many are in the throes of twin flame relationships.

They’re attached or are with people who are not their “forever” people, rather, intense connections they’re meant to learn, and rapidly expand, from.

4. They often have a greater purpose that must be attended to first – one that love would distract them from.

They usually have to accomplish quite a bit on their own before they find love – this is because old souls love deeply, and completely. To be given love too soon would keep them from the other important things they are here to do.

5. They will not settle for anything less than soulmate love.

They require a lot more than just a surface-level, “average” relationship. They absolutely will not settle, and sometimes, that means biting the bullet and being alone for longer than what’s “average” as well.

6. While many people can bring them passion, few can bring compatibility.

Because they feel so deeply and others find them so fascinating, it’s easy for them to find infatuation, but to be with someone who is truly their best friend, deepest confidant *and* lover is a challenge.

7. They’re less inclined to go out and meet people in modern ways.

Even if they have nothing against online dating, it doesn’t always come naturally for them, nor does finding a random hookup at a bar or being set up blindly seem appealing.

8. They’re natural healers, and often attract people who need help, not love.

And that attraction is reciprocated. There’s almost nothing that feels better to an old soul than being able to help someone who truly needs it. However, at some point in time, it’s crucial for them to realize that they have to choose a partner, not a student, or a charity case.

9. They dislike the “game.”

Dating is inherently exhausting to an older-spirited person. Feigning disinterest for the sake of looking “cool” or knowing which faux pas other people find off-putting (how long after the first date do you text again?) isn’t instinctive to them, and can stress them out more than they ever find it “fun.”

10. Their standards are sky-high.

They expect a lot from themselves, so likewise, they expect a lot from their partners. While this is a great thing, it’s another quality that has to be kept in check: it’s more important to be able to accept the qualities that aren’t deal-breakers than it is to just write a person off because they’re imperfect.

11. They have baggage.

People who developed their inner selves quickly did so for a reason: they had to cope, they had to grow, or they had to learn from some challenging experiences that life set up for them. While this is a great thing on its own, unresolved issues can often re-manifest in close relationships.

12. They feel fear as intensely as they feel love.

The degree to which they love something is proportionate to how much they fear losing it, or not being “good enough” for it. They don’t just love intensely, they feel everything else intensely, too, and sometimes, that gets in the way of the really good things in front of them.

It has come to my attention that, regrettably, there are certain exotic animal owners who knowingly and willfully try to hide the law and will attack those who share it openly online because they believe that knowledge of the law puts their “community” at risk of being busted.

Well I’ve never been a big fan of online bullies, much less online bullies who try to hide laws. So I’m gonna go ahead and remind all 8,100 of my beloved followers that the rabies vaccine in the USA is proven to work on domestic dogs and cats in clinical trials only. This means if you have an exotic like a raccoon, a fox, or a wolf or wolf hybrid and it bites someone, it can be forcibly removed from your care and destroyed so its head can be sectioned to test for rabies.

The rabies vaccine offers these animals NO legal protection even if it does actually prevent rabies, because the government does not recognize the vaccines efficacy on a legal level. This is the sad truth of the law. It isn’t scientific but it’s there.

This information is important to anyone ever considering adopting, fostering or even temporarily caring for an exotic mammal. Why certain people in these circles wish to keep such potentially fatal information hidden is beyond me.

So, again, I reiterate (just to make them mad) that the rabies vaccine offers no legal protection to an exotic such as a fox, raccoon, wolf or wolfdog if it bites someone. (Wolfdogs are occasionally treated like domestic dogs but dont count on it!)

Lack of knowledge of rabies control law can lead to tragedy for anyone responsible for exotics.

The Signs and Revenge

**Check moon, mars and lilith signs**

Aries: If you irk an Aries, their reaction will be instant. They’re not really the type to take time and plan out revenge on someone who hurt them, because everything they do is with impulse, not to mention they get over things very quickly. If they were to get revenge on someone, it wouldn’t be the strategic kind. They are known for their explosive temperaments and will not care about blowing up on someone in the middle of a crowded room. Whatever they wind up doing, they do it immediately and openly. For them, revenge is instant and they’re not the type to sit and ponder over things. It may not even count as revenge for them because they’re over things so quickly and can never really stay mad. You can probably expect days of them not talking to you but then they’ll pretty much forget it ever happened. They’re basically the definition of zero to one hundred and then right back down again. They’re very much like flash fire and you really don’t want to piss them off because their anger can be nasty, no matter how long it lasts.

Taurus: Unlike an Aries, a Taurus will carefully plan out their revenge and will take as much time as they need to ponder and then strike when they think the time is most right. Taureans are naturally loyal to the core and they care for their loved ones deeply; but the second you happen to hurt them in a way they can’t forgive, you better watch out. Taurus is a sign that never truly lets go of things until they get the person back. It takes a lot to get them angry but they can be just as vicious as a fire sign when fired up. They will often strike you where they know it hurts the most, too. They will take you to war whenever they feel the time is right and they’re not afraid to get quite vicious and cruel. For them, it’s all about not being able to let go of things. They can be just as unpredictable as a Gemini, they just take their time to strike until they’re happy with their plans. They will strike where it hurts the most and they’re definitely not a sign you want to piss off, especially because they make such great, loyal friends; but if you do them wrong once, you’re most likely done for. They don’t have time for peoples crap.

Gemini: Gemini’s are certainly the most unpredictable sign, especially when it comes to revenge. They are normally very forgiving, laid back and aloof people but it really just depends on the situation and person. Gemini’s are unpredictable in the sense that they’ll do whatever it is they want to do; and by that I mean they may get revenge or they may not. It’s all up to how they feel. This witty sign will always give you mixed signals and you will never know what is truly going on in their head. They will behave as if nothing has happened but don’t be fooled by their cool expression. Most times they will plan their revenge and then change their minds at the last minute. Remember that the Gemini’s mind is often their greatest weapon; they will always have more information on you than you may realize and they can often use this information against you as their revenge. They really are the most unpredictable sign and they’re always, always prepared. They may not be bothered by what you did in the moment and it may take months for them to react on it. It really just comes down to how their mind is working that particular day and what twin comes out to play; the more forgiving and laid back twin or the vicious one who always is prepared with information to use against you. 

Cancer: If there’s any sign who knows how to properly hold a grudge, it’s definitely cancer. They’re the kings/queens of getting revenge on people who do them wrong. They will simply set out to make the persons life miserable in any way they can, especially when it’s someone they deeply cared for in their life who happened to hurt them. Ruled by the moon, their mood swings can change in the blink of an eye and so will their revenge plans. Their once loving and nurturing nature can change drastically once you hurt them. As much as they can love someone beautifully, their revenge and personality can be just as equally ruthless towards someone who wronged them. They’ll simply feel no remorse for their actions and wont get over the situation until their revenge is carried out. They will do it in the most simple, yet hurtful way possible and will turn sour and spiteful. Never ever harm these peoples loved ones or them because it will definitely take a turn for the worst.

Leo: Like cancers, the proud and egotistical leo will hold grudges just for the hell of it. Because they’re a fire sign who mainly relies and acts on impulse, don’t expect to them sit and ponder on ideas to seek out revenge; they will act on their hurt right then and there on when it happens and they’ll most likely let everyone know about it. They’re incredibly loyal people who love deeply and most times, they will end up forgiving you for what you’ve done but it really depends on who you are. They are very proud beings who tend to ignore you out of revenge instead of discussing what happened. They can be very dramatic in the sense that they will do things to piss you off on purpose while still being able to ignore you. Since their ego is bruised so easily, they will never show their pain and normally they will withdraw to think of it on their own. Depending on who you are, they will most likely forgive after a while and they may not directly approach the situation but they’ll gradually make their way back into your life. The culprit may beg them for forgiveness but it’s all up to the leo to decide whether or not they want to trust the person again.

Virgo: Virgos can actually be quite ridiculously vengeful and stubborn when someone has wronged them. They can have a very huge God complex about themselves and your best bet would be to apologize in the sense where you tell them they’re always right. They can be very finicky and they may not take revenge immediately but there’s no doubt that they will avenge their wrong. They’re definitely a sign that never forgets and they will grow vengeful and cold towards a person who did them wrong. They will make you feel so pathetic about yourself because of what you’ve done and they’ll become insanely critical. Their revenge is never a dramatic show, it’s quite simple but they make sure it hits the person in the deepest spot. They can manipulate the person in such a way to get them to beg for forgiveness, as this sign loves to feel in control of others. Their tactics are more verbal than physical but their words cut deeper than wounds and will leave a person regretting it every day.

Libra: Libra’s are normally seen as just and haters of conflict but once it comes to someone wronging them, they can actually take lots of joy in creating drama. They’re not angered easily and it will take a lot for you to get on their bad side but if you hurt them in such a way where they’ve been humiliated in front of others, they’ll most likely not ignore it. Their anger is not something that is acted out like a fire sign, their anger is actually quite controlled and never really harsh. If you hurt a Libra, they usually take revenge by bitching about the situation and spreading rumors. The thing with Libra’s is that you will never truly know they are hurt. They like to make it look like they’re chill about it but they will waste no time in making the situation known to their friends/peers. They may also stick around by you, but your trust will never be 100% with them again, even if they make it seem like it. 

Scorpio: If you ever wrong a scorpio, your best bet is to honestly change countries or go into hiding. They will go years and years without forgiving, at that. They will seriously make you wish you were never born and they will go to utterly ruthless ends to make your life miserable. Scorpio is a sign that has a hard time forgiving in general and their reaction to any kind of wronging thrown at them can be quite venomous and cold. They are incredibly loyal and who knows why someone would ever choose to wrong them and they are incredibly aware of this. They will grow strongly vindictive and will make you regret it every day of your life without ever forgiving you, therefore making it endless torture. They very much enjoy watching the person beg and surrender to them, as like Virgo, they love to feel in control of people, and yet they’ll never accept it. Scorpios love to believe that they’re secret agents of karma and they very much believe in hitting back ten times harder to someone who as wronged them. Their sting is worse than their bite and their wicked emotions are very much driven by their dark side, which is a side you never want to be the victim of.

Sagittarius: These natives are usually a very happy-go-lucky sign who never takes things too personally. If you do somehow find a way to hurt these individuals, their reaction will most likely be on the spot and impulsive, but never with too much bloodshed. Since they are a fire sign, their emotions are like wild fires and hurting them in any which way can push them to release the madness within, but it never truly lasts. This sign is truly all about forgiveness and moving on and they don’t have the time of day to dwell on things. They’re all about second chances but they will tend to be very cautious of you for a while until your trust is fully gained again. These individuals can be very stubborn and set in their ways and they can become very verbal and loud in their reactions and may feel more superior than the other as if they never do any wronging’s. They have an uncanny ability to see two sides of an argument and they will debate until the other gives up. Don’t expect mercy right away with these folks, but they’re never ones to hold a grudge or put sequels to revenge. 

Capricorn: Capricorns are naturally very proud people who are not afraid to get vengeful when someone has wronged them. Forgiving easily with such things is not typically in their nature and when it comes to plotting revenge, they do so in a very methodical way with as little emotion involved as possible. They are naturally very clear-minded and focused when pondering ideas and they will go to great lengths in thinking something up. They have undying loyalty for the important people in their life and if someone has ever wronged them, you can expect them to be quite brutal. They will take complete separation from you in order to feel the pain out, and because of their pride, they will never show you their pain when it comes time for them to seek revenge. They will do it as unemotional as possible and they will completely drop you from their life. Their revenge is a one time thing and they will leave the person regretting. It is very unlikely that they will forgive you, especially if you were so close to them, but if you mattered a great deal to them, they may just change their mind at the last minute.

Aquarius: Aquarius is a fixed side, who is very set in their ways and stubborn, so don’t expect them to see your side easily or forgive. Although they are not so much in a hurry to take their revenge, they will definitely cut you off completely, even if they somehow wind up forgiving you. Aquarius is a very detached sign by nature and they will most likely tell themselves they do not care about what happened, even if they know it deeply wounded them. They’re not ones to take peoples crap easily and they will carry the hate against the person who has wronged them for as long as they wish. Aquarian’s are not the most rational out of the signs and if they decide that their intuition is telling them to run, they’ll do just that. But, if you are lucky, and the Aquarian’s intuition tells them that forgiving is better for their soul, then you may just get lucky, even if it takes time for them to fully feel the same around you. Like Gemini’s, it really just comes down to what feels better for them, personally. 

Pisces: This whimsical sign may not always seem like a threat, but once you have securely gotten on their bad side, they can have a whole other wicked side to them. They are a dual water sign, who happens to be one of the most sensitive out of all the signs, and because of that, they can become quite vengeful. They’re very easily offended and hurt but they will never show it. Even though they don’t show it easily, on the inside they could be finding ways to pretty much plot your death. Because they’re a dual sign, they can be very indecisive on what fish they let come out to play. They’re naturally a very compassionate sign who may feel like they’re as equally bad a person if they wrong the person back, and they may just end up forgiving the person without taking much revenge. But, like Aquarius, they depend heavily on intuition, and if they feel like a person is giving them bad vibes, they will waste no time in dropping you completely before there even has to be conflict. On the other hand, if the more wicked side of a pisces comes out, they will not be so forgiving. They can give into their dark side very easily and they will think of any which way to get their revenge on you. But, if they have any sort of soft spot for you, they may just change their minds at the last minute.

episode one :: Yuuri Katsuki is the most beautiful disaster that Victor has ever met in his entire life, and Victor has built his empire on beautiful disasters.



Victor isn’t sure he knows what he’s doing anymore by the time casting rolls around for season 22 of The Bachelor.  Okay, he knows what he’s doing, but it’s all autopilot.  He’s got a dossier of Chip Vanderbones and Tad Hardbeefs to look at, but is almost resigned enough to just give into Lilia and Yakov’s suggestion to cast Georgi Popovich, notorious histrionic Bachelorette season 10 runner-up, as this season’s lead out of sheer notgivingafuckness.  At this point Victor isn’t even sure whether he really wants to be in this game at all anymore, but what the hell else he would do besides sleep for a thousand years if he retired before thirty?  

And then Phichit Chulanont comes into his office to distract him during a conference call with Yakov to tell him a story about his friend who just crashed and burned at the Figure Skating Grand Prix Finals, and everything click click clicks into place: redemption narrative.  Twenty young men are going for the gold, but only one can win the heart of Yuuri Katsuki– he can hear the promos, see the character arcs unfold, and the narratives rush through him like they’ve always lived inside him and it feels–exciting.  

“Phichit,” Victor says suddenly, interrupting Phichit and grabbing him from across his desk.  “We have to get him.  He’s our next bachelor.”

“Oh my God,” Phichit replies, eyes widening, and then again, “Oh my God.

“Do you think you could get him?” Victor asks.  He’s seeing figure skating dates, thematic destination shoots in Chile and Finland and Iceland, “The Bachelor: Love on Ice” title screen flashing over two champagne glasses on the lip of an outdoor hot tub.  

“Do I think I can get him,” Phichit repeats dismissively, looking the closest to offended that Victor has ever seen him.  “What do you think you hired me for, Nikiforov.”

Keep reading

Another set of sentence prompts!

“No, you don’t deserve ice cream!” 

“Please stop calling it your lair.” 

“I want a lion.”

“I’ll be the guard dog.” 

“Do you HATE happiness?!“ 

"Okay, I got a pla- oh." 

"What are your thoughts on giraffes in turtlenecks?”

“ARE YOU ABSOLUTELY BONKERS?!" 

"’We’re not going to die’? We’re not going to die?! Well it bloody feels like we’re about to die!”

“At least breathe in between bites!”

“You’re strangely nonchalant for someone who almost died a minute ago.”

“Who are these people?!”

“That was definitely my finest hour.”

“You are not going to have a good day.”

“Use the little scanny thing.”

“Ow, you shot me in the face!”

“Behind you!”

“Listen, it’s for science.”

“I didn’t even have to do anything.”

“Dude, this is romantic as fuck.”

“I’m in your mind…” “Great, just what I needed, more useless crap in there.”

“Anyone want to sing along?”

“I can save you.” “No, you can’t.”

“I don’t want to be rude, but you’re here to do an actual job.”

“Are you humming?” “It’s my theme song, I need it for confidence!”

“Let’s talk dirty to each other.” “Babe… we’re at work. Remember? Professional. Behavior. Please.”

“That looks infected.” “It’s fine.” “You’re dying.” “Well… that’s fine too.”

“Crickety crack, that’s really wack.”

dunkirk is the kind of film you sit on after you see it. at first you’re like, yeah that was a good film. it was a different kind of war movie. then you leave the theater and you start thinking about it, all your favorite moments, the ones that made you bite your nails off. you think about the message and what christopher nolan is really trying to get across with the way he directed it. and then you realize that it’s actually sort of spectacular. because you were in the film. you weren’t just hearing a bunch of dialogue, knowing what someone was going to do next. you were basically living it. between the music and the acting, you were feeling what they were feeling. long story short, if you were unsure of dunkirk at first: sit on it. i guarantee you’ll see the beauty in it. 

Chicken is DONE!!!!!

Sooooooooooo this ended up being a BIT longer than I originally intended… but who can resist the call of Ninoir! 

Since A. I don’t want to blow up your feeds and B. It’s been forever since part 1 anyways I have uploaded the whole story onto AO3 here: 

http://archiveofourown.org/works/11185719

Please check it out!!!!! 

Meanwhile here is a brief teaser of what’s inside! 


Plagg was wrong. This was a fantastic idea. Maybe Adrien couldn’t handle some playful flirtation, but Chat Noir was a CATsannova of the first order. Maybe it was true that his friends would never know, but that was ok. He could deal with their teasing and poking, and the large pile of sly comments that seemed to constantly go over his head. He would know better. He would know who the TRUE king of chicken was.

He shifted slightly, checking to make sure he was perfectly situated in the small sliver of light pouring out onto the balcony.

“Well,” he drawled, loud enough that he knew he would be heard through the headphones, “aren’t you just a sight for sore eyes.”

“Oh my god!” Nino cried, jumping up at the sound of someone else on the balcony, and then jumping back another two feet when he realized who was speaking to him. “It’s Chat Noir! Chat Noir is on my balcony! OMG this is the best! I so need to call Alya!”

“Come now,” Chat purred, rolling his shoulders back and lowering his eyes into a predatory smoulder, “we don’t need anyone else interrupting this little tête-à-tête. After all, intimate gatherings are so much more pleasant, don’t you think?”

Chat had to bite back a smile of triumph as he watched Nino’s eyes go wide, his cheeks darkening visibly even in the dim evening light.

“I… uh… yeah I guess,” he stuttered, hastily pulling off his headphones and straightening his glasses. “So, what bring you out this way?”

Chat took a couple of steps forward, his smile widening. “Do I need an excuse to want to see the best looking guy I know?” he asked with a playful eyebrow raise.

fake dating! zimbits

It was only by a stroke of luck that Jack happened to look at his phone just as he exits the lecture hall. The group chat was blowing up – the group chat was always blowing up these days – but the lack of all-caps or exclamation marks caught his attention right away.

Eric Bittle: Guys, I wouldn’t ask this of y’all if I really didn’t need this, but I have to ask a HUGE favor of one of you.

Shitty Knight: brah are you dying

Justin Oluransi: You can have my kidney, Bits.

Adam Birkholtz: u aren’t gonna save that for me just in CASE, JUSTIN?

Larissa Duan: shit, bitty, r u ok

Eric Bittle: Um, yeah, mostly, I just…..need someone to pretend to be my boyfriend.

Keep reading

Snacks and Roses || Peter Parker Imagine

Paring: Peter Parker x reader

Word Count: 1607

Request: nah homie

A/N: i didn’t proof read it, I’m sorry. And sorry if you’re allergic to roses

Originally posted by fuckyeahtonystark

Y/N sat with Liz in the lunchroom , hearing their friends talking about Spider-Man once again. “He brings hope to the city. It’s like, we know that someone is looking out for us.” One of them said. Y/N thought about all the things the man has done for the city. I wonder if his life is good, if he’s happy in his real life, Y/N thought.

The topic was quickly changed when an announcement for Homecoming was made over the blaring intercom. “Students, don’t forget to buy your tickets for Homecoming next Friday.” The voice boomed, making all of the students start talking about the event.

Liz turned to Y/N, “So,” she said taking a bite from her food, “who are you going to the dance with?” All of their friends tuned in to what the two girls were saying.

Y/N shrugged her shoulders. She wanted to go with Peter Parker, the smartest kid at Midtown High, if she went in the first place. Homecoming is going to be crowded and loud, with a bunch of annoying kids. Y/N didn’t want that. “I don’t think I’m going, actually. I’m probably gonna spend my night watching TV or something.” Y/N said, shaking her head like it was nothing.

“But Y/N,” one of her friends said enthusiastically, “You have to go! Peter is probably going, you should too!” She nodded her head behind Y/N. Y/N looked behind her to see Peter and Ned eating their lunch a few tables away. But he’s going to be dancing and hanging out with a girl that isn’t me, she thought.

Y/N smiled, “As much as I would love to go with him, it’s not gonna happen. He’s probably taking a super pretty girl with him and he’ll have a blast. Just,” she trailed off, starting to get quieter,“just not with me.” Y/N sighed, slumping her shoulders. Liz looked over at her giving her a sympathetic smile. “If you don’t want to go, you don’t have to. It would be nice if you went though.”

Y/N returned the smile, “Thanks for understanding Liz.” Liz nodded her head, “Anytime.” She gave her attention back to her friends to hear the rest of their thoughts.

Peter Parker sat a few tables away, having the same conversation that Y/N was having. “Are you going to ask her to Homecoming?” Ned asked Peter looked at his friend as if he was crazy. “W-What? No. Never. I can barely form a sentence around her, let alone ask her out.” Peter said as he gazed down at his lap. He looked back up to her, admiring her from behind. Y/N turned around and Peter quickly looked away and muttered “Oh God.”

Ned looked confused at the teenager. Peter’s face was beet red, “I think she saw me. Oh God,oh God, she saw me staring at her man.”

Ned looked over at the girl who was now facing her friends talking. “I don’t think she did. Just breathe, she probably didn’t see. I mean you turned your head so fast that you might have whiplash.” He chuckled. Peter sighed, “Maybe you’re right.”

“Right about what?” Michelle asked as she reached the table with the two boys.

“Well, I asked Peter if he was asking Y/N to the dance and he started staring at her. She turned around and might’ve caught him.” Ned explained to the Michelle as she sat down. Peter hit Ned’s shoulder with the back of his hand, “Dude. Seriously?”

“What?” Ned asked, completely clueless at Peter’s new beacon of embarrassment. Before their bickering cold continue, Michelle started talking. “Actually, while I was walking over here, I heard that she wasn’t going. And I might’ve heard,” she stated trying to be dramatic, “that she was super bummed out that you were probably going with a different girl that isn’t her.”

Peter sat shocked. “You’re lying.” He said. There is no way that the girl he has had a crush on for years, is into him. Him of all people.

“I wouldn’t lie about true love, Parker.” Michelle replied, kind of mockingly.

“How are you going to ask her?” Ned asked. Peter was messing with the cuffs of her sleeves. “I-I don’t think I will.”

Ned looked shocked. “You have to. You finally have a chance to be with her.” Peter looked around, “I’m too scared. Besides, she said she didn’t want to go and I respect that.”

“Your loss,” Michelle said opening one of her books.

It was the Friday night of Homecoming and Y/N sat on her couch surrounded by her fluffy blankets, with a show paused on the TV screen and a water bottle in hand. She was on her phone talking to Liz, giving some advice for her outfit. “Should I wear the silver earrings I got for my birthday?” Liz asked. “Yeah, they match your dress very well.” Y/N replied, taking a sip of her drink.

“Y/N are you sure you don’t want to go? I might have an extra dress.” Liz asked, she didn’t want her friend to be alone while everyone else was having a blast.

“Yeah I’m sure. I’m fine with my TV shows and blankets. Go have fun!” Y/N stated, assuring the girl that everything would be fine. “You sure?” Liz asked, wanting to make sure her friend was okay.

“100%.” Y/N replied with a smile on her fave that she knew Liz couldn’t see. “Alright, I have to go. My date is here. If you need anything call me.” Liz said, while Y/N heard shuffling in the background. “See you later Ms. Allen.” Y/N said chuckling to herself. “You too.”

Y/N sat on the cuddled into her blankets as she clicked play on her TV remote. As soon as the show started, there was knock on the front door. Y/N was confused, was it Liz? She got up to answer the door.

Y/N opened the door, do just her body was seen. She was greeted with the smiling yet nervous face of Peter Parker, holding a bouquet of red roses with a backpack on his back and a couple grocery bags filled with chips, candy and other snacks. Y/N stood in front of him, lips parted slightly.

“P-Peter. What are you doing here?” She asked with wide eyes. Peter glanced down at his old shoes. “I heard that you were, uh,” he looked back up at her, “I heard you were spending the night in on-on Homecoming so, I wanted to join you. If that’s okay.” He stammered biting his bottom lip.

Y/N smiled widely, opening the door all the way. “Come on in.” If it was anyone else at the door, she would’ve probably made up an excuse. But it wasn’t anyone else, it was her crush. Peter smiled back. He walked through the door, waiting for her to indicate where he could go.

Y/N shut the door and moved to face him. Peter looked at the flowers in his hand, “These are f-for you.” He handed you the flowers.

The girl smiled, “Thanks Pete.” She called me Pete, was all he could think about as Y/N went to put the flowers in a vase. She quickly came back after putting the vase in a good spot.

“You can sit down Peter.” Y/N said as he followed her to the couch.

“Seems like you were having a real party, huh?” Peter said sarcastically with a small smile on his lips, seeing the TV and her blankets. “What gave it away?” Y/N replied back with the same amount of sarcasm.

“I brought food.” Peter emptied out the two grocery bags with the snacks onto the couch between the two of them. Y/N smiled. Tonight was going to be fun.

Peter turned and looked at the clock to see it was one in the morning. All night was spent with him and Y/N getting to know each other,cracking jokes, and watching bad late night TV shows. It was like they had known each other for their entire lives. She fell asleep a while ago, her head resting on Peter’s chest, with a blanket wrapped securely around the pair. He sat there, playing with her hair, glad that he skipped Homecoming. Peter sighed contently, looking back up at the TV which now had the news on. A robbery at fifth and third. “Shit,” he muttered, moving Y/N off of his chest and onto the couch.

He dashed out her front door with only his backpack in hand, with his Spider-Man suit inside.

Y/N woke up 10 the next morning still on the couch, with all the snacks from last night littering the floor. It was fun hanging out with Peter. She was kind of happy that she didn’t spend Homecoming alone. She searched for her phone to check the time. Once she found the device she saw a text from Peter.

Hey, sorry I had to leave. My Aunt called me and said that I had to go back home. Maybe we can do this again sometime at my place?

Y/N smiled at the text. Maybe I can get the guy of my dreams, she thought as she typed a reply.

Yeah, that’d be awesome.

How to get into your pet head space

I know a lot of pets, especially obscure pets, have difficulty getting into the head space of their species. So here is a list of different activities you can try to help yourself enjoy being the pet that you are. There are a lot of other types of pets out there and some of these activities may repeat, but I am going off of the pet list I made a few months ago. Click here to see the list.

[ * DISCLAIMER: I do not have full knowledge about each of these types of pets, so I am going by research I’ve done and pets that I’ve talked to. Feel free to add your own activities beneath. ]


TIPS FOR ALL PETS:

  • Make noises. Depending on your species, practice barking, mewing, growling, whinnying, purring, etc. If may feel weird and embarrassing at first, but try to do it little by little until you enjoy it. And if you don’t enjoy it, then don’t do it.
  • Wear gear. Whether you can afford a little or a lot, gear will help you feel more like the pet you are.
  • Don’t be embarrassed. I know it’s difficult, especially if you’re just starting off, to do some of these things and act like a pet. But if you enjoy it, then there is no reason to be embarrassed about it. Just start slow and ease yourself into it.
  • Adapt to your own preferences. The list below is not concrete. You do not have to do the things listed just because they are listed for your species. Example: if you’re a lamb and you see something listed for a ferret and enjoy it, then do it.

TIPS FOR SPECIFIC PETS:

  • Bat: eat fruit, wear fangs, wrap yourself in a blanket, enjoy the nighttime
  • Bear: wander around outside, roll around in bed, play with a large ball
  • Big Cat: climb things, pounce on/stalk toys, practice grooming/hygiene
  • Bunny: eat veggies/fruit, cuddle someone/something, hide, color
  • Dragon: go outdoors and collect things, organize collections
  • Fawn: eat veggies/fruit, go to the woods, bounce around, explore
  • Ferret: dig through a pile of blankets, hide other’s items, roll around
  • Fox: play tricks on others, hide in small spaces, go for a run
  • Kitten: wear a collar, play with toys, practice grooming
  • Lamb: enjoy physical attention, get “dolled-up”, eat veggies/fruit
  • Pig: roll around in blankets, minimize movement, enjoy snacks
  • Pony: run/gallop through the woods, chew on veggies/fruit, head gear
  • Puppy: chase a ball, chew a toy bone, wrestle with your own dog
  • Rat: hoard food items, bite/lick others, hide other’s objects for fun
  • Wolf: chew beef jerky, tear at toys, look after others, brush your hair
two rotten apples [m]

credit: x.

❛❛we’re next-door neighbors and have hated each other since middle school but now we’re going to the same university how can we avoid the other person like the plague so there isn’t a crime scene— what do you mean you promised my mom you would keep an eye on me???? you fucking planned this❜❜ AU

COUNT → 16.053

GENRE → smut | eventual angst

PAIRING → jungkook | reader

WARNINGS → dom and sub tones | spanking | hair pulling | praising | explicit language | female masturbation | graphic oral sex | penetration

LINKS → 1 | 2 | 3COMING SOON


There was always that one person at parties—that one person who hid in a bathtub somewhere so they didn’t have to contribute to society’s norms of choking on their own vomit and passing out cuddling a pink garden gnome.

Or maybe that was just you.

Then again, it wasn’t just any party you were hiding in a bathtub at—it wasn’t some rager that had frat boys downstairs chugging so much alcohol that their livers probably looked like fucking dried out asparagus—it was your high school graduation party. And maybe you’d attended only the lamest graduation parties in your eighteen years of life, but there was no alcohol here—only fruit punch. Yet, there you were, still hiding in a bathtub for some fucking reason with a piece of chocolate cake balanced in your lap.

You should probably reiterate that it was your party, which makes things worse since normally you don’t hide in a bathtub when you’re the guest of honor.

Normally—but this was not a normal circumstance.

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