someone help before i cry out all my tears

you know that chokey feeling you get in your throat, right before you’re about to cry? this feeling fascinates me beyond compare. there is something so soothing and smooth to this rough feeling in my throat. i haven’t cried a lot lately actually, which reminds me that you dont have to cry to feel this feeling. we all know how everyone needs a good cry every once in a while. whether it be from a sad song, a tear jerking movie, not getting your way, finding out someone you love is gone, any way you can think of - crying helps. but that chokey feeling, i wish i could explain to you how i made me feel. it’s so raw, and lonely. it’s the damn to a river being broken whether or not behind it is water or air. release, and relief. i don’t think i’ve ever felt a more comforting feeling, as contradicting as that sounds. i’m not sure where i’m going with this. maybe just trying to figure myself out, per usual, maybe just indulging in a truth that is not so easy to understand, if understandable at all. i don’t know, i just don’t. but i know how i feel about that chokey thing, i think its one of the most beautiful feelings i have ever felt in my life. this is one thing i know about myself.