i’ve been seeing a lot of topics like “how to deal with someone who has bpd” and it always bothers me, because there is basically no topics about how to deal if YOU have bpd. that’s why i’m making this post, in my opinion as someone who has bpd. feel free to leave other tips and comment!
buy a notepad and write about your emotions. in DBT (dialectical behavior therapy), used a lot to help people with BPD, they tend to help others to regulate their emotions, basing on some principles, like:
identify and classify emotions; usually, people with BPD suffered/suffer from emotional abuse and it makes harder for us to have a knowledge about our feelings, since we never had someone to help us in this aspect. if you have hard times dealing with your emotions, you can create a special organization on your notepad, basing on: what just happened that could be a possibly trigger to your feeling? (EVEN IF IT’S SOMETHING MINOR, for example, if your friend replied to you in a different way, if you saw an image that made you feel uncomfortable); what are your physical symptoms about it? (for example, if you feel butterflies in your stomach, you are possibly anxious); what does this feeling make you want to do? (for example, if you feel like you want to hit something, you are possibly experiencing anger). and, also, try to identify your primary and secondary emotions, for example, if a friend forgets about an event that you would go together, first you may feel anger, but this anger can be followed by frustation or sadness (secondary emotions).
how to “change” your emotions; after writing about your emotions and trying to learn about them, you can add a subject in your notepad about “WHAT CAN I DO TO CHANGE THIS FEELING”. your first thoughts may be pessimists, specially because borderlines are VERY impulsives, like “i should probably self-harm” or even “i should probably kill myself”, due to the intensity of bpd emotions, but right now, you have to think with your rationality.for example, if your friend is delaying to reply, you can think about the possibilities that are causing this problem: if they are busy, if they are having a hard time or if they just don’t want to talk right now. after thinking about the situation as a whole, you’ll ask yourself “okay, but what will i do?” and that’s why i think it’s important to create a list about what makes you happy and what distracts you, so everytime you have a hard situation to deal with, you can check on your list. “oh, i’m having x problem, but in my list it says that painting makes me happy, so what about painting something i saw today?”. if you don’t have anything that you like about, there is an app called Calm Harm, that can help you in self-harm situations!
increase and improve positive emotional events; i know that it’s difficult for us to focus on positive moments, but once you are feeling down, please try to write about what happened in your day that was a good thing. and when i say it, i don’t mean a BIG thing, it can be something like seeing a flower in your garden. write about your sensations when your experienced this moment and think about the possibility of living this moment more than once. for example, if i saw a flower and it made me happy, can i try to plant one, so i’ll see it more often?
apply pressure tolerance techniques; by distraction, self-care, improving the moment and considering pros and cons.
SO, in your notepad, have a space to: first, identify and classify your emotions; second, a space to write about how to change your emotions; third, a space to write about positive emotional events and fourth, write about what pressure tolerance techniqures you can apply to your life.
practice saying no and saying what you need to the people around you; sometimes people with BPD tend to think that we are a burden to friends and family, and sometimes it’s not true. due to it, we often don’t tell what we really want. so, if you could, please, practice saying NO and what you REALLY need and want to people around you, even if it’s minor things.for example, if someone asks you to lunch with them, but you can’t/don’t want to, don’t let your abandonment fear decides what it’s the best for you, just say no, but not in the intention to hurt the other person. “i’m sorry, i really like you, but i can’t or don’t want to, since i have to do x thing/feeling x thing, but i really like you!”. when you say no, you can have a better idea about what you like and what you don’t, so you can start to let people know about it.for example, “hey! yesterday i said no when you invited me for lunch, so i realized i don’t really like going to public places, what about having lunch in my house next time?”
practice breathing techniques; intense emotions can lead us to panic situations or really bad physical symptoms. in stressing moments, we hold the air, increasing the level of carbon dioxide in our system, so the organism thinks we need more oxygen and make us breathe faster. the imbalance increases our heart beats, our blood pressure and the release of hormones such as adrenaline. i recommend ASMR videos to relax and you can breathe slowly, imagining a circle opening and closing, like the gif:
the post is getting long, so i’ll finish here! i’ll probably post a part two if you guys like! please leave a comment if it was helpful and i’m sorry if my grammar wasn’t very correct, english is not my native language.
remember that everything here is theoritical and it’s hard to apply these tips in your life, things will not suddenly change. but i believe in you and things take time, so don’t give up on getting better.
This is what you expect from your soulmate, whether romantic or platonic. (Remember that soulmate is not necessarily a romantic partner. Juno MOST of the time is about your romantic partnerships but it can refer to your other platonic relationships with people like friends or family members)
Juno in Aries / 1st House - your partner is someone who is confident and strong. This is someone with a sensitive side in them, who likes to tease and is very honest about their feelings. Affectionate, helpful and protective. Someone who will fight for you and will be your partner in crime. Someone who can be clingy. Someone with a little bit gullible, innocent aura about them. Someone with reputation (whether good or bad). Heroic, badass types.
Juno in Taurus / 2nd House - your partner is someone who is sensual and protective. Someone who is affectionate and generous. Someone good looking (according to your own beauty standards) with warm aura about them. Someone who can provide and is loyal and stable. Partner is generous but they are not lavish. Someone who is jealous, likes physical affection but also can keep a conversation going. Someone strong and stable.
Juno in Gemini / 3rd House - your partner is someone who can understand you. Someone who is caring and can help you to open up and express yourself better. Partner who “gets you” and understand that your moodiness is not something bad and annoying. Person who enjoys learning new things and sharing them with you. A mood maker. Someone who likes fun and is entertaining. Someone who is witty and smart and also possess high emotional intelligence. Your partner is loyal, can be clingy and is secretly sensitive.
Juno in Cancer / 4th House - your partner is someone who is a go-getter. Someone caring, very loyal and sensitive. Someone who will show especially with their action that they care about you. The partner is creative, lavish, sweet and understanding. Has motherly qualities. This is someone who wants to build a nest with you and settle. Someone who is jealous and sometimes overly dramatic. Someone really strong, both mentally and emotionally.
Juno in Leo / 5th House - your partner is someone who is breathing and living embodiment of a Hollywood movie character. Someone who is proud and loves to show how much they love you. Someone who is consistent and in need for attention from you. Entertaining and talkative, wants spotlight but knows how and when to share it with you. Very romantic (sometimes even cheesy). Partner with a soft side. Playful. Someone who is young at heart but is also wise, brave and very protective of you. Someone who cares about how they appear to the world. Stylish, Hollywood god.
Juno in Virgo / 6th House - your partner is someone who just “knows”. This person knows how to act in the public. They know how to act with your friends and parents. They know what kind of person they need to be when the situation calls for this. The person is smart and insightful. Gracious and elegant. Someone who has a lot of hidden passion and is very creative. This person show their love mostly with those little gestures. The partner is loving but not in the overwhelming way.
Juno in Libra / 7th House - someone who is strong and intuitive. Someone who is sociable and knows how to act in the company of people. Helpful and kind. Someone who is not judgmental and always is looking at two side of the situation. Confident, charming personality. Trustworthy person. Your partner is someone who value honesty, loyalty and stability. Someone who is stylish and beautiful (according to your own beauty standards).
Juno in Scorpio / 8th House - your partner is someone who is intense. This person may appear mysterious and broody. Someone magnetic with a lot of passion who helps you to bring out passion from yourself too. Someone who has adventorous spirit, loves mysteries and is good at solving problems. Someone intelligent and diplomatic. Generous person with a big heart. Someone who value true intimacy. Some astrologers believe that having Scorpio Juno signifies having a past life karmic bond with your partner.
Juno in Sagittarius / 9th House - your partner is someone with a strong spirit and need for diversity. Partner love travelling, studying and having people from all kind of backgrounds. They may have totally different background than you, they can be from another culture or country. Partner is someone honest, fiery and independent. Indiana Jones type. Someone who is not “smothering”. Someone who always will care about keeping things interesting, fresh and positive.
Juno in Capricorn / 10th House - your partner is someone independent, bold and classy. Someone who value practicality and is patient. Your partner is persistent, logical but have very emotional and soft side inside of them. Your partner is someone who may be a little bit awkward with showing their feelings. They need to be told it is okay to do that. This is someone who has a lot of passion. Trust and intimacy are very important with this person.
Juno in Aquarius / 11th House - your partner is someone with a hidden emotional side. This is someone who prefers to act in the logical manner. Someone hard-working, precise but very passionate and loving on the inside. Someone who has unique opinion and ideas. Similar to Sagittarius this is someone who can have a completely different background than you and can befriend anyone. Strong, independent mind with lot of
acquaintance but a few real friends.
Juno in Pisces / 12th House - your partner is a unique person. This is someone with a contrast personality. Romantic but logical. Passionate but can be detached. Thoughtful but impulsive. This is someone who always try to see the best in people and help others. Someone sassy, smart and kind. This is someone who can take you to another world but can destroy what they created in the blink of an eye if you do them wrong.
Artistic, strong soul.
Some astrologers believe that this placement similar to Scorpio also indicates past life karmic bond.
Juno in the retrograde - when Juno is in the retrograde this person’s desire to have a soulmate may be hidden (they may not believe they exist at all). They may be not showing their interest in having someone, at least not outwardly, they may despise the idea of marriage. They may need a time to realise that they want from their partner and what kind of partner they want.
the type of person i imagine the signs in a relationship with
someone soft and gentle, but not a pushover. they are exciting and enjoy going places and going along for the ride. they listen to the 1 a.m. passionate rants and is always understanding.
someone patient and kind. someone who pushes and motivates, but knows and accepts limits and boundaries. very cuddly and affectionate, enjoys PDA.
someone good at communication and listening. very accepting and understanding, empathetic and compassionate. has similar interests and likes what they like. very witty and has a similar sense of humor.
someone confident and self assured, but not cocky or arrogant. humble and kind. knows who they are and what they like. seems unemotional and hard, but has a soft side. responsible and values hard work.
someone who adores them and notices the small things. someone considerate and who will do small, yet kind things for them. someone who will make their life easier and better.
someone who appreciates them and the things they do. tells them they love small details about them everyday. understands and calms them down when they feel anxious and stressed.
someone intelligent and well respected. has a lot of energy and likes to go out, but can be chill. someone fun and uplifting and has a silly side, but knows when to be serious.
someone patient and empathetic. likes to have deep conversations and talk about interesting topics. someone loyal and devoted and will always be by their side. passionate and loving.
someone original and talented. likes to have fun and is lighthearted and optimistic, yet realistic. someone to have deep and philosophical conversations with late at night. someone that appreciates small moments and things in life.
someone witty and sarcastic, and has a good sense of humor. someone who takes things seriously, but can have a good time and has a fun side to them. very caring and doting, loves very deeply.
someone original and isn't afraid to be themselves. understanding and accepting. has similar opinions and outlook on life. someone who likes to have debates and discussions. someone who likes to have fun and is adventurous, but grounded.
someone grounded and responsible, and balances them out. doesn't try to change who they are and celebrates all of the differences and quirks of them. affectionate and likes to show them off. very sweet and has an emotional side.
Things I wish somebody had told me in the beginning: witch edition
This is not a competition. Take it slow, enjoy the journey. You do not need to learn every crystal correspondence within a week.
Keep a journal/Grimoire/Book of Shadows if possible. Fill it up as you go. Do not just put the information somewhere to wait until you “have time” or “have more energy” (although these, and many more, are understandable reasons). It is less work to do a little all the time than try to catch up all at once.
You don’t need to be anything to be a witch. You are one, regardless of your gender, skin color, religious interests… If you think you’re one, you are. Witchcraft is a path, a tool, not a religion.
Wicca and witchcraft are not the same.
It is totally okay to take breaks. Setting aside your craft doesn’t mean you can’t come back and continue where you left off.
YOU are the most important tool. You do not need that expensive cauldron, or those rare herbs that have a double-digit price. Of course, supplies are needed for more complicated/powerful spells to help you out, but they are not necessary.
If your path changes, that is okay! If you were first interested in spells but then decided to focus more on deities and their worship, that’s okay!
On that note, it’s also okay to not know what your path is.
Like all people, witches have their opinions about various things. Listen carefully to both sides, research, but in the end make your own opinion that fits with your morals and worldview. Neither side is necessarily wrong, but both can be true.
Trust your gut/intuition. It knows a lot. If someone says X has Y correspondences, but in your opinion has Z, then this is true to you.
When researching things, remember to be critical and not trust everything you read blindly. Cross-reference.
Educate yourself on closed religions, slur words, racist symbols, appropriation of cultures and their words (see:smudging, chakra…) Do not be angry at yourself if you have used them before - you are always learning and growing as a person.
When in doubt, ask. The community is friendly and many are more than happy to help you. Asking never hurts, but don’t treat others as your Google.
Do not abandon science nor common sense. Witchcraft is powerful, and certain areas have direct influence (using herbs, for example), but it does not replace healthcare, therapy, or otherwise being healthy.
Practice safety. There is a reason why people tell you in rituals/spells/etc. to do things to protect yourself. When doing witchcraft, you are dealing with great powers and energy - sometimes that might be malicious.
Also, some general things like fire safety, checking for crystal toxicities in various substances, and herb properties are important to keep track of - these are physical things that can seriously harm you; and definitely work. Do not doubt that.
Do not lose yourself. While witchcraft gives us great power, it sometimes makes us lose ourselves. One might become so absorbed in their path that they forget things like eating, checking on friends, doing hobbies, and so forth. This path is part of your life, but your life does not consist only of the path.
Have fun! I believe this is one of the most important things. Witchcraft does not need to be serious; it can be Legos, glitter, pop-culture gods, sigils doodled with eyeliner… The possibilities are limitless!
One of the most unfortunate (and fortunate in some cases) aspects of completely delving yourself into a fandom is that you begin to accept how other people interpret characters versus how the true game interprets them. Like I mentioned, this can be a really awesome thing!
But sometimes, not so much.
A good example in our home sweet home, the tf2 fandom, would be the most antagonized character of the game (at least imo. Medic gets a lot of shit representation too)
Good ol’ Jane Doe.
Most of my opinion on this topic is from a personal experience so I’ll jump straight into that:
When I first joined this fandom/ got the game, my love for the characters was pretty contrastive; Medic was super up top, and engie, demo, and ya boy solly I wasn’t really into (yet of course). This was pretty realistic since I was newer and had set my heart on my favs. As I met people, enjoyed content, and created my own, my love began to spread and even out (thank God).
Except…one merc was still lagging. Soldier. As I matured in my knowledge and independence of interpretation I began to really notice why.
Soldier is portrayed very heavily as the angry hateful antagonist of many artistic scenarios, especially writing.
It’s too easy. Jane’s excessive expression of opinion and loud sense of patriotism and criticism made him an easy villain to give an insult, or cause a problem. I had seen this usage of his characterso oftenthat I had forgotten how this absolute DORK teleported fuckin bread for three whole days, just out of childish impulse
LIKE HOLY HECK HE IS SO BUBBLY AND ALL OVER THE PLACE! The interpretation is flawed in one major place. Is Soldier someone who has opinionated outbursts?? Yes. Are they all based on hate and bias?? NO. Soldier is very expressive in all fields, including excitement, love, and the support he has for his team
The team part is a big one. Like wtf are you thinkin’ Jane LOVES his teammates!! He is extremely supportive and doesn’t seem to push his insults any further than impulsive outbursts
look at him smiling during scout’s date!! He’s so proud
he’s so loving in his own way
anyway this kinda turned into a soldier appreciation post that is too long but uh yeah pls he’s not awful he’s a big ol dork thanks
okay but real talk for a sec? This is how you present your
headcanons to the public. As your opinion. You do NOT start with ‘just so you know’ and
end with ‘and that’s just the facts’. Because, no, its not. Its your headcanon.
And every time you act as if your headcanon is canon it makes me
personally want to kick you straight in the teeth even if I happen to
agree with your headcanon.
Headcanon anything you like, enjoy it, share it, find others that like it too and build something beautiful. But do NOT,
even for a joke (because this is tumblr and people don’t understand a
joke tone) claim your headcanon is 'fact’ because it implies your
headcanon is the only valid one allowed.
(disclaimer that 'you’ in this case is a general you and not directed specifically at anyone)
Obviously Jughead is not Joaquin, I don’t think that’s what the writers are getting at. Kevin is just concerned for Betty. More importantly, he’s projecting all of his pain onto her. Think about it, if you had a boyfriend you truly liked and believed in and then he turned out to be an accomplice in a murder, wouldn’t you panic a bit too if your best friend’s boyfriend was joining that same gang that caused all of your troubles? He is fearful of watching history repeat itself with anyone, not specifically with Betty and Jughead.
That conversation wasn’t about Kevin encouraging Betty to break up with Jughead, it was about the writers beginning to expand upon Kevin’s emotions and insecurities as he becomes a series regular and gains his own voice. Kevin is beginning to process a lot, please try not to hold it against him if he gives Betty some ill-advised but well-intended advice.
On this website you can express your opinion freely, ship whoever you want, draw however you want, like whichever character you want and do absolutelly what you love without being judged by anyone! because this website understands that everyone has different opinions!
How fucking dare you you heartless uneducated son of a bitch? go kill yourself!
On B.A.P’s “Blue” and what makes a good album cover
So the album cover for Blue was released last night, and while I have my doubts about the design I’m not all that surprised that this is what we got. K-pop in general has a lot of album covers of questionable quality, due to the incredibly high amount of album/single releases the industry has every year. However, that doesn’t mean that we’re not allowed to criticise them rather than ignoring them.
Still, instead of making more memes about the unmotivated album covers TS has given us in the past year, I thought I’d make a quick post on what makes a good album cover, and why TS’ album covers are worth criticising.
All general rules of graphic design aside, there are some key qualities an album’s cover art should have in order to do an artist justice, and here they are:
The cover art should be easily discernible/stand out.
The cover art should be memorable.
The cover art should describe the artist or the album in some way (either the sound or the message promoted).
The cover art should be minimalistic/uncluttered (this is not so much a rule as it is a tendency found in good modern examples. Minimalism has become highly favoured in media today and it’s easier to make a piece of album art that has the previous qualities using the minimalist approach).
So with that in mind, let’s have a look at the cover art TS Entertainment released for Blue, and keep the desired qualities in mind:
Now, on a personal level I actually don’t mind these designs. I think they’re quite pretty and soothing to look at. From a design perspective, however, these have flaws. So let’s look at how they pertain to the points I mentioned earlier.
The cover art should be easily discernible/stand out. Imagine if you were in a record shop and you were scanning the new releases for something to listen to (already I’ve dated myself, but bear with me). Would this design pop? If you were standing 10 meters (or 30 feet) away from this cover would you be able to see what it was? It’d probably just look like a vague blue blob, and unless the other albums were completely devoid of colour and blue happened to be your favourite colour, you probably wouldn’t pay this cover art much attention.
The cover art should be memorable. If the cover art has caught someone’s eye in the first place it needs to have some part that is visually memorable.Some part that sticks with them so that they’ll have an image in their mind when they think of the album. Personally and on a wider scale, I don’t think there’s anything in this cover that has that ability, but for individual people it might be different.
The cover art should describe the artist or the album in some way. This is what this album cover does best. We can’t assume anything entirely until the album has been released and we’ve heard the songs, but from the teasers and descriptions we’ve gotten it seems like the album resonates quite well with the cover art. The fresh and breezy blue works with the summer-y feel of the album and the sky matches the message about freedom that we’ve heard this album will be about. Additionally, the crescent moon/eclipse theme works with the title song’s name, Honeymoon, and the release date of the teaser.
The cover art should be minimalistic/uncluttered. The art is definitely minimalistic, which is what I think a lot of people like about it. It’s got that relaxing summer aesthetic feel going for it which is nice, but this point was more of a means to an end, and I don’t think the design reached the end.
So why do I think this design is disappointing?
The purpose of any album cover is to advertise the album in question, it’s a part of an artist’s marketing scheme. We know that TS Entertainment fumbles a lot when it comes to marketing their artists and this is no different. Good cover art will stand out and become imprinted in people’s minds, making them more likely to buy the album or share it with friends, which is why I dislike the fact that TS has given us very little as far as cover art goes in the last year.
This is not something that is B.A.P’s fault, or even the people hired to design the album cover. It is completely to blame on TS. We know TS has more than enough money to promote and invest in B.A.P, because B.A.P is a famous group that makes a lot of money for their company. But the truth is that TS aren’t willing to invest more than the bare minimum in B.A.P (this isn’t really a good business strategy for them, but they’ve always been bad at running a company). Pointing out and reflecting on what we dislike about the album design is just another part of being willing to criticise things we think aren’t good.
If someone got through this post and is interested, I’d be happy to add onto it and talk about some examples of album cover art done well (both from B.A.P and other groups), because I think it’s a fun opportunity to learn and discuss it.
important disclaimer: just like my other pieces of this series, this is based on my opinion and my imagination of “realistic” only. I don’t know park jimin personally, nor his past relationship experiences. This is only my own imagination on how it could be like dating him. If you’re not open to stuff like this, please don’t read.
note: I noticed that this one turned way more positive than the others lol. I guess jimin really has me thinking that he’s just a cute ball of fluff