someone had to do this eventually

Love story! It’s sad for now, but my first love and I had so many spooky signs that it feels like we were destined to meet. In high school I crushed on/dated two different men with his birthday, we also both almost moved to each other’s hometowns (I’m from WA, he’s from AZ) but finally met in a college play together my freshman year/his senior year. We instantly had this crazy connected, intense energy even though he was sort of seeing someone else at the time. About a week after the show ended we kissed at a party and he kept telling me how crazy I made him and vice versa. We started off “just hooking up” and I had sex for the first time with him (I hate saying losing my virginity lol)!! Eventually we confessed we had major feelings for each other but he was going to be moving across the country after graduation and didn’t want to do long distance. He would be really hot and cold because of this fear of being attached even though I was really fearless (naive) and comfortable with how much I loved him, even if we didn’t have a lot of time. A few days before our last night together he started acting really cool and distant and said he “didn’t have feelings for me anymore.” Actually CRUSHED ME. But then the very next day he got drunk and confessed he was just trying to distance himself cause he’d miss me so much and didn’t want me to wait for him. He then forgot he said all of that. Anyway, he moved away, I started dating someone new but we always stayed in contact for 6 months. He would tell me how much he loved and missed me and eventually I broke up with my boyfriend and went to visit him across the country. It was such a beautiful week spent together and on our last night we just held each other and cried!! We saw each other a few more times over the summer and ultimately decided it just wasn’t the right time for us and we both felt so restricted and unfulfilled. We still have lots of love for each other and are both seeing new people but WOW it’s so difficult to have to wait for our time (if it ever comes). I’m Virgo Sun/Cancer moon/Cancer venus and he’s Gemini Sun/Virgo Moon/Aries Venus. My moon falls in his 8th house, his Venus in my first house, lots of other exciting/difficult aspects but UGH that moon in 8th is the heaviest!!! I used to be convinced we are twin flames but I don’t want to drive myself crazy with that

don’t wait, never wait, just be. it will be. be in the moment and know that you got to experience something that was worth it <3 

Normal Horoscope:

Aries: Know that obsession rarely helps the obsessed.

Taurus: The world is a lobotomist. It will rip the old things from your head and leave you with holes. It may not be kind.

Gemini: Where did your food come from? How can you know? Does the earth want it back? She does. Eventually.

Cancer: The evil inside you can hide itself as things you love. Probably not your penchant for baked beans though.

Leo: The most vibrant animals are the ones you should touch the least.

Virgo: You must carve yourself into new shapes or the warden will do it for you.

Libra: It can be subtle. Ever had someone passive aggressively leave a book on your bed? 

Scorpio: A hide of knives protects a vulnerable center, but its still a hide of fuckin knives.

Ophiuchus: Your dreams dream of you.

Sagittarius: Embrace the quiet. You have two ears for a reason.

Capricorn: You’ll look back on all of it and wish it to be burned. Start the fire as soon as possible.

Aquarius: Fervor is confusing and can lead to unexpected consequences but its damned effective. 

Pisces: You are a mystery. Even to yourself. Get on that.

Check Please! AU idea: Hearts

Everyone remembers the first time they lose their heart, be it to somewhere, something, or someone.

The first time Jack lost his heart, he was six. It had been a weird feeling, but it was just as his mom had described it to him.

“It’s like having something fall out of your pocket while you’re walking,” she had said, arms holding him on her lap. “You can keep moving forward without it, but you’ll eventually notice that you’ve left something behind.” She did say more, but he had gotten distracted by the bracelet she wore around her wrist and her words simply floated through the background.  

He remembers ignoring the stares of the other boys in the changeroom as he laced his skates back up and walked back towards the rink.

He remembers the feeling of stepping back on to the ice and finding his heart at centre ice. Small, warm, and glowing slightly red, it had pulsed gently as he picked it up.

His dad had laughed when picking him up from practice after. “I’ve lost my heart to the game more than enough times, Jack. You’ll get used to it.”

He does get used to it, but he doesn’t know what to make of the small beating heart feeling colder and colder in his hand every time he picks it up after that.

Part 1: Jack | Part 2: +Parse | Part 3: Samwell | Part 4: Bittle

Some nights I miss you, but I’ve stopped wanting you.

Some nights I think it’s more that I just wish I had someone to lay next to me. Someone to listen to my hopes and dreams, someone to comfort me when I’m hurt. Someone to reassure me that everything is going to be ok, or to remind me that I can do anything, when my perception of my potential becomes a little less than clear.

Some nights I miss who you were when we first met - the good I saw in you before you stopped putting on the act to get my attention, to win my love - the love that you eventually started to take for granted.

But as those moments come, they are immediately replaced with memories of cheating and betrayal. Of careless acts of blatant disrespect, of white lies that you told me while looking me dead in the eye, of lonely nights when I needed you and you were never there. And all of the excuses you gave me whenever you decided to hurt me, over and over again.  

Some nights I miss you - but I believe now it’s more that I miss who you were to me in those first few months. Or who I wished you would be all along.

Or maybe, It’s not that I miss you, I just miss the companionship that you provided. Something I know now that I can get from anyone else.

Some nights I miss you. Some nights I want someone - but that someone is no longer you.

I Wrote this Poem Just to Show it

Character: Alexander X Reader
Prompt: Reader is best friends with the journalist who runs the school paper. Every week, you write a new poem for them to publish, and it eventually draws the attention of a certain someone.
Word Count: 2,126
W/T: Teasing?
A/N: Honestly the only reason this story came to be was because I was in the mood to write poetry, ngl. Hope y'all enjoy!


“I’m telling you, Y/N, you’re poems are amazing.” Your best friend, Hercules Mulligan, exclaims, hastily typing it into the same format as you had written it. “Oh whatever, Herc.” You huff, leaning back in your chair and setting your feet on top of the desk. “You only ever wanted me to do this because it gave you one less column to fill out in your campus newspaper.” “Okay, maybe at first.” He admits, eyes still glueing themselves to the screen. “But once the ‘Campus Caller’ took off, people started to give me feedback, and they all really loved your work!” “That’s fine and dandy, Herc, but I still wish to remain anonymous.” You deadpan, tossing the apple you were going to eat around in your hands. “Hey, no food near the laptop, missy.” Hercules warns, taking one hand away from his typing to shoo you away.

Giggling, you tuck and roll onto the floor from your chair, stopping yourself against the edge of Herc’s bed frame. Sprawling out on top of his layers of clean and dirty clothes, you mindlessly stare at the ceiling fan, watching it go round and round. “You know you don’t have to be here, Y/N. I really just needed to type up the poem.” Hercules states, still not looking over to you. “But you said you would take me out to eeeeeeaaaaaatttttt.” You complain, rolling over defiantly, half of your body now hidden beneath his bed. “Yeah, I did, didn’t I?” He asks himself aloud in a rather monotone voice. “No. I’m not doing this again, Herc. You’ve promised me food for the past three poems, and what do you know? I haven’t gotten food.” “But then people will think that we’re datinggg.” He whines, his fingers clacking away on his keyboard. “As if. Everyone basically knows about you and Peggy, Herc.” You spit, watching his face grow pink. “And besides, your basically my brother, that would be weird. I’ve got my eye on somebody else, anyway.” “Oh? And who is that, might I ask?” He inquires, half aware of what he just asked. “Well if you must know, then it’s-”

You are quickly cut off by a series of sharp and forcefully knocks on the door, each set coming in a triplets, followed by a familiar voice calling out Hercules’ name. Recognizing the voice, you quickly pull yourself all the way under the bed, burying yourself slightly in some of his laundry. He didn’t need to know you were here.

“Alex what the hell. Wh-” Hercules starts, but is cut off by Alexander, forcefully closing his laptop on him. “Don’t what the hell me, Hercules. You didn’t tell me you could write!” Alexander exclaims while you watch his feet shuffle around from your position, his dark blue jeans swaying slightly with his movements. “Excuse me?” Hercules deadpans, obviously confused by his friend’s accusations. “Don’t play dumb with me. You literally write this newspaper of yours on your own. How could you not tell me that your a poet?!” Alex scoffs, his words sounding more and more passionate as he rambles on. “I’m not?” Hercules answers, his words coming off as more of a question than a statement. “Oh really? Then explain this.” Alexander counters, clearing his throat as to read off of last week’s “Campus Caller”.

“Is it true
That the stars are merely
Orbs of orbiting gases
Far, far away from us?
Or are they something more?

Are they something we can’t quite grasp
Something that’s on the tip of our tongues
But yet
Still too far away to understand?

Are stars our past
Shining down upon us
Through the blackening abyss
That is our future?

Or are they are future
With our hopes and dreams
Among a sea
Of disarray
And despair?

Is it true
That the stars
Are something I’ll never
Become apart of
No matter how hard I try?

Am I forever earthbound
Upon this shrinking planet
Forever cursed
To never be apart of
What I wish to be?

Is it true
That the stars
Are only
For me?

Or will I be able
To share these
And ideals
With someone beside me?”

His words seem to flow from his mouth like a coursing river, each one alive with emotions he put behind them. You close your eyes for a moment, taking in his melodic voice, melting a little bit as he speaks so highly of your poetry.

"Hate to break it to ya, Alex,” Hercules interrupts, jarring you back to reality, “but I don’t write that column. I have a friend who does that.” You silently curse Herc for getting ready to throw you under the bus, ready to punch him. “You’re kidding.” Alex huffs, his feet shifting again. “At least tell me who writes these marvelous works of art.” “You see that? That little word right there in spot of the author’s name? What’s it say?” “…Anonymous.” Alex answers, sounding upset. “That means they don’t want to be known. See how that works?” Hercules finishes, his voice laced with sarcasm. “But why can’t you just tell me? I’m just one person, Herc!” Alex pouts, refusing to give up on this. “Because,” Hercules huffs, standing up from his seat, beginning to push Alexander back out the door, “I know that you’ll seek said person out, and badger them about their writing. So no, I’m not going to tell you who it is. Anything else you wish to know?”

“Whatever, I’m going to rant to Y/N.” Alex scoffs, storming out of the dorm. The sound of his footsteps fades away, and you pull yourself out from underneath of Hercules’ bed, stretching your legs to relieve them of their cramps. “Thanks, Herc.” You smile sheepishly, taking his outstretched hand, letting him pull you into a standing position. “Yeah, but you better go after him though, he’s ready to blow at any moment.” Hercules suggests, his eyes glancing towards the window across the room. You quickly stride over to the windowsill, staring down at the lush campus itself, 5 floors below you. Almost too perfectly timed, a small figure barges out of the bottom of the building, his shoulders hunched. “He could have a storm cloud hanging over him if this were anime.” You state, blinking at the disappearing Alex. “Just go after him.” Hercules chuckles, gently nudging you to the door as well. “Okay, okay.” You groan, walking through the doorway. “Have fun with your boyfriend.” Hercules calls out after you, making your cheeks flush pink.

Deciding against the elevator, you fling yourself down the fire escape stairs, your footsteps echoing against the concrete as you fly from floor to floor, racing against Alex. Knowing that the first place he would go to would be your dorm, you opt for the next place he would automatically go to; the college cafe. You eagerly fling your backpack over your shoulder, your books and keys humbling themselves up inside as you take off for the main building, your pace breaking into a dead sprint. Adrenaline begins to wash over you as you begin to near your destination, the top of the building peaking over the horizon. Your breathing heavy, you slow your pace as you approach the familiar glass doors, the dim lighting and wavering scent of coffee making you feel calmer.

Gingerly, you press your hand against the smudged glass, the smell of coffee becoming stronger than before as you step into the small cafe, faint jazz music hitting your ears. Luckily, Alexander was nowhere to be found, so you let out a sigh of relief and take the same table you always do when you come here.

Happily remembering you already completed you papers for your classes, you dig your favorite notebook out of your bag, it’s slightly tattered edges and worn look bringing a small smile to your face. Turning to the folded page you left off on, you quickly finish the poem you had started last week, writers block preventing you from doing so earlier.

“A feeling
An emotion
A change of heart
A kindling fire
Growing and spreading
Across your body

What is love?

In simplest terms
A feeling
A simple smile
That clicks
With someone
That no other smile has before

What is love?

As some might explain
An emotion
A sense of longing
For someone to return
From an overseas trip

What is love?

Is a change of heart
The innocence of a child
Giving the sinner
A new perspective
On life
With a simple question

What is love?

A kindling fire
Growing and spreading
Across your body
Your face growing hot
And your nerves
Tingling with a sensation
That you had not known
Up until this moment

What is love?

A feeling
An emotion
A change of heart
A kindling fire
Growing and spreading
Across your body.”

You smile, satisfied with your final draft. Inspiration now flooding through you, you start to begin another poem, but the jingling of the front door catches your attention. You glance up to find Alexander, his eyes scanning across the cafe. You smile and wave your hand, motioning for him to come over. His glare softens at the sight of you, and his shoulders become a little less hunched as he strolls over to take the seat next to you.

“Hey Ale-woah, you look like you’re about to murder someone.” You laugh, scooting over slightly in the booth. He raises his eyebrows in agreement, huffing out a sigh of frustration. “It’s just-” “Hold on a sec.” You interrupt, readjusting the way you were sitting, propping your hands up on the table and leaning your chin into your palms. “Alright. Go.” You giggle, smiling warmly. Alexander chuckles, his eyes seeming to search for what words he wants.

“Okay, it’s about Herc.” “Ahh, the living, breathing teddy bear. Yes, go on.” You joke, earning an eye roll. “Well, you know about the newspaper he does? Campus Caller? There’s this column he has in it, it’s dedicated to poetry. You know how I love poetry, it’s what I live for. Anyway, I went to him, ecstatic that he wrote! I didn’t know he had it in him to write so vividly, so immensely! But he admitted that he had someone else write that column for him. I asked who it was, determined to find this person. But he refuses to tell me! Honestly, who does that to a person?! Who willing holds the key information that allows someone to meet the person they’re meant to be with?! The person that could very possibly be their soulmate?! The person who could change your life forever? The p-” He freezes, his eyes widening as his body tenses up.

“What? What is it Alex?” You ask, becoming very worried by his sudden stop. His eyes lock upon yours, a look of mystery and astonishment whirling around in them. “Alex?” Say again, unsure of how to react to his change in attitude.

“Kiss me.”


Kiss me.“

"I-uh-Al-!” You stutter, quickly cut off by Alexander placing his hands on either side of your face and pressing his lips against yours, a surging current sparking between your abrupt connection. Heat flooded your face as you returned the gesture, his rough lips feeling soft against yours. You leaned into his hands, melting at the touch. Alex pulls back inches, leaning his forehead against yours, catching his breath. He quickly takes one of his hands from your cheek, grasping for the notebook sprawled out on the table. He begins to flip through them, his eyes hungrily taking in each and every word scrawled across the pages. “Why did you never tell me you were so fluent in poetry? I recognize this style of writing anywhere. Thank god you left your notebook open-can I keep this?-otherwise I would’ve driven myself mad. That is, if I weren’t alrea-Oh my god, when did you write this? How did you write this? How did you get it to read so fluently? How on earth di-” Alex excitedly rambles, flipping through the lined pages like a child in a candy store. You roll your eyes at his abundantly happy babbling before leaning over and placing another warm kiss against his lips to shut him up.

“I love you, Alex, but you talk way too much.”

Okay so we have this locker room at school where there this one locker that isn’t connected to the others. I don’t even know if someone actually uses it because it always had the same stickers and lock ever since I entered the school. So when semester started some people began to move it randomly, but as time passed, it became a lot more intense.

So eventually the principal heard of this and got really angry, saying some students were lacking maturity and respect. So what were the students reaction to this? Turning it into a meme of course.

And that’s not even half of it, some people keep posting new ones as I write this.

Someone even made a video here

It’s the kind of thing that makes me feel a bit less bad for being meme trash.

And I know I found my people.

it’s so strange to me, seeing all these people talk about how they didn’t like season 2 because of noora + william.

i had this conversation with @woozied a little while back about how everyone’s favourite season is different because each one speaks to the audience in a different way, hence why season 3 has been so groundbreaking for the queer community (and my personal favourite). but season 2 still had a really meaningful message for me.

season 2 to me - above everything else - was noora dealing with her fear of relapse should she begin a new relationship. 

it was the recognition that, last time she was with someone, she was unwell and hurting her body; questioning whether being with someone again would put her back in the same place.

it was noora distancing herself from emotions and meaningful relationships, but eventually choosing to trust in herself. more to the point, it was noora choosing to trust that someone else would care about her, even if she didn’t do a great job of it herself.

it was noora not drinking because it’s just empty calories. noora knowing everything about the food she was putting in her body, but then using that knowledge to help someone else.

it was noora’s sense of safety in this life she’d built for herself being compromised, and having the people around her help to build it back up.

noora, girl, i hear you and i love you.

Here’s some Feferi line art from almost a year ago! This was meant to be colored by someone for an art collab but that person kinda ditched me after I already did my half and my back’s condition is declining too much for me to color this myself. If any of you guys want to color this for practice or just to say you collabed with me, feel free! I hate to see this line art go to waste.

I recently remade my blog so if you haven’t re-followed me yet, please do so! My old blog had 8.7k followers so I’m hoping to get that back eventually.

[Commission info] [Art usage/repost rules]

anonymous asked:

How do the police not notice all of the women that went missing? Even How the guy from the bar just vanished? I don't think it even discusses where he dumps the bodies or how it doesn't trace back to him. Someone had to notice the dissappearances.

I think we’re going to get there eventually. Even if he’s preying on girls from dysfunctional homes/girls with no family there was the first girl who was supposedly the daughter of a pharmaceutical company owner, he’s got to have the cash to investigate what happened. 

An Unlikely Hero

Originally posted by skylorennn

Summary: Earth is becoming less and less of a desirable to live in, and for (Y/N), it’s becoming overwhelming. Not able to cope with the newest changes, seeing an evil (Y/N) had hoped would be dying reemerge, (Y/N) falls into a seemingly deep sorrow. Though there is a fighting spirit within, (Y/N) can’t seem to get over how humanity played its cards this time around. Hope feels lost, until one strange evening, when everything takes an unexpected turn.

A/N: I mean, someone was going to do this eventually right? So why not? In light of the shit that was our election, here’s a sorta pick me up. It takes place in the future, so I tried to figure out what Earth would look like given the circumstances. I tried to keep it kinda generic, but I also wanted to highlight some of the legit concerns so people felt like their personal struggle was present here. Hope you all enjoy and as always, feedback is welcome :)

The night was frigid, the breeze blowing over you just enough to remind you of the temperature. With a shiver you pulled your jacket closer to you in hopes to savor in any warmth it could provide. Despite how cold it was, you wanted to stay outside a while longer, and stare out at the mystical night sky. Given its quiet, enchanting existence above you, you tended to turn to it for escape. Even if for a fleating moment, it brought you a small bit of peace and reflection.

Sirens echoed through the air, bringing you back to reflection rather than a distant day dream. The sound alone was becoming all too common and unsettling. You could no longer tell what was happening or to who it was happening to. For all you knew it could have been your neighbors, passers by, tourists, or something entirely irrelevant. No matter when you heard them however, the reason for their presence never seemed to be positive.

Staring out at the sky still you sighed, shaking your head faintly.

“Why did this…this of all things have to happen?”

You knew you weren’t going to get any sort of verbal let alone tangible answer back, but you always held hope that one day, you would. One day, someone would hear you.

You shook your head, “So much for a sign.”

Sighing again you flopped backwards onto the grass beneath you, keeping your eyes on the glimmering stars. Even in the frigid temperatures, finding peace of mind was far more desirable, no matter how difficult. At least with the stars, there was something to pull your attention away.

Staring at the little dipper above you in all its shimmering glory, you focused your attention to it. Though you had seen it a million times before, something about analyzing the stars that crafted its shape brought you some temporary peace. In focusing on the simple structure, your mind could be fooled into being distracted.

As your eyes stayed on it, something suddenly caused your brows to furrow as it drew your gaze. Another beaming star seemed to appear suddenly from the middle of the dipper, appearing literally out of thin air. The longer you looked at it, the larger it seemed to be growing. With your brows furrowed you slowly sat up, supporting your weight with your hands behind you.

Keep reading

not to be rude™ but adding to the pining keith hc, do u think that once he finally had lance and was loved by someone he pined after for so long, he’d be terrified to lose him?
bc okay, he was orphaned at a young age, and he lost shiro, who was probably his closest thing to family, for a year, and he was kicked out of the garrison which may have been one of the first times he felt like he belonged somewhere and we saw how he reacted when team voltron almost disbanded
so can you imagine how scared he would be of losing something he wanted for so long? like he will just be laying next to lance and despite being in his arms, he still can’t fall asleep bc he can’t get rid of this awful feeling that he’s going to lose him, so he feels overly protective during missions and he’ll question himself and his relationship and whether or not lance actually cares for him
OR you can look at the other side of it where maybe he just accepts that lance will leave him and so he cherishes every single moment he has with him and is adamant about recording what they do together by writing it down and taking pictures and he feels like he can’t ever get too attached, but then realizes how much he loves lance and starts to panic bc he cares too much and he loves him too much for this to go away and the second that lance seems a bit distant from him, keith will start acting a but more reckless and physically exhausting himself through training to keep his mind off of the imminent breakup that never actually happens
and in either scenario, when lance finds keith back in his own bed and asks why he doesn’t want to sleep with him (lance just assumes he doesn’t feel well or maybe he just needs some alone time), he’s a bit surprised by the look of shock and relief that washes over keith’s face and if those were really just tears that keith was wiping off of his cheeks, well then lance will bring it up in the morning

Imagine Crowley giving you a hell hound.

Request: I was wondering if you can do an imagine where you are dean’s daughter and you trick Crowley into giving you a hell hound as a pet. Just because your 14 year old self thinks that would be super awesome.

Originally posted by mooseleys

Originally posted by lokiandthorblr

You’d been begging your dad for a dog for years but he always turned you down. Your Uncle Sam had helped you try to convince him for a while but he eventually gave up. However you were determined and after your dad turned you down for the second time this month you decided it was time to take a different approach. The Crowley approach.

You grabbed your dad’s phone and retreated into your room. You dialed 666 on the phone and waited for someone to pick up, “Hello Squirrel, what do you want?” a British accent answered back.

“Um…Crowley, hi. This is Y/N, Y/N Winchester.” You replied in a small voice.

“Ahhh Chipmunk, what can I do for you?” Crowley said.

“Well, remember how you always said you would help me bother my dad? Well, I have a plan…and you said you’re always up for messing with the Winchesters.” You told him.

“Why does it feel like someone is breathing on my leg?” Dean asked you at the table.

“Oh, that’s just Roger.” You responded casually.

“And who’s Roger?” Sam replied.

“The hell hound Crowley got me since you won’t let me get a dog.” You said while taking a bite of your spaghetti.

“I’m sorry what?” Your dad responded.

“Well, since you won’t let us get a dog I decided to go for the next best thing. I gotta say, he’s pretty awesome! So much cooler then a normal dog! I highly recommend them.” You stated, twirling some pasta onto your fork.

Sam was laughing at Dean’s confused face, you had finally outsmarted your dad on the dog front, a task he had never been successful at.

“Well you aren’t keeping it.” Dean stated.

“But Dad! Come on, you never let me have a dog and he’s so easy to take care of and-” You started but where cut off by Roger growling at your father, “I don’t think he wants to leave.”

“Yeah but-You can’t-We can’t-“ Dean let out a sigh, “Fine. But as soon as he scratches me or Sam he’s gone!”

Heiwajima Shizuo [INTP]

Introverted Thinking (Ti): 

“Look, all it means is that when I lose it, it’s because things make no sense. If there was any logic to it, then I wouldn’t get pissed even if I got shot or stabbed.”

Shizuo moves his way through life with his own internal subjective logic. Something weird is going on in Ikebukuro, it must be Izaya’s fault, because 99% of out of the blue things will eventually have to do with Izaya. Everyone fears him, so he’s a monster. Someone talked about Izaya, that someone must be trying to piss him off. 

‘I hate violence, so I haven’t been involved in fights. His ‘couple of questions’ must be 3 because I had nothing to say to his boring questions which are making me mad, so I’m leaving. The reporter is talking even though I said I hate violence, he mentioned IZAYA EVEN THOUGH I SAID I HATE VIOLENCE I’M GOING TO KILL HIM HE WAS TRYING TO MAKE ME MAD. I TOLD HIM I HATE VIOLENCE AND HE TRIED TO MAKE ME USE VIOLENCE DOES HE THINK HE’S GOD?! …Oh what, Tom-san? It’s been three minutes already and my cup noodles are ready? …Screw it.’

Shizuo doesn’t care for external logic. He doesn’t care that you’re not supposed to beat up someone who was asking you questions in an interview. He doesn’t care about the fact that the reporter didn’t know mentioning Izaya would make him mad. He perceives the world through Ti which consists of his own thinking and logic. He doesn’t care if the reporter wasn’t trying to make him mad because to Shizuo’s logic, he was. Ti is a subjective function. Shizuo’s logic is extremely subjective and often only makes sense only to him. 

When he is not angry, he is withdrawn and quiet, not revealing much of his thoughts. He wants to understand how things work. He doesn’t understand himself, so he hates himself. He doesn’t understand Izaya, and Izaya makes him use the violence he hates so much, so he hates Izaya. He is curious about why they changed the composition of the Nobel Prize medals and with Vorona’s explanation that using an alloy prevents deformation, he is satisfied enough to not pursue the matter further, as it make sense to him.

Extroverted Intuition (Ne): 

“Even if you’re not behind the Slasher, Ikebukuro has gone weird recently. It’s your work, right? What exactly are you planning?”

Shizuo is adept at considering possibilities. He knows how to read between the lines. He is extremely sharp in a way that makes Izaya pleased and displeased at the same time. He knows when something smells fishy and is Izaya’s fault. When he was framed by Izaya, he came to the immediate conclusion that he was framed, with a trick so simple and straightforward in an irony even he could appreciate. He came up with the possibility of going to the skydeck of Sunshine 60 beause there were people there and he would be able to see if anyone came after him rather than if he went to a department store, which fits his internal logic. 

He thinks of possibilities of the Awakusu-kai hunting down the people he cares about. He thinks Celty could, if worst comes to worst, bring Izaya up to him at Sunshine 60. But then he realizes he would be getting other people involved and giving the staff trouble if he beat up Izaya and threw him off the deck. And he worries so much he even thinks they will hunt down Akane because she was with him. And then he considers the possibility of Izaya killing those three men, but then realizes logically he wouldn’t be able to and so he might have gotten the information beforehand and tricked him into going there on purpose. Which is exactly what happened.

Introverted Sensing (Si): 

“Why did I turn out like this? At least it wasn’t my family. There was no childhood trauma I can think of. I never watched any violent anime or read violent manga. Didn’t watch movies either. So that leaves only myself, doesn’t it? It’s gotta be me, right?“

Shizuo is highly influenced by the past. He’s highly influenced by his perception of the past. Because of the incident with the milk lady, he doesn’t dare to love anyone lest he hurts them. Because of the incident with the milk lady, he prefers older women or older people. Because of being ostracized in the past, he considers himself a monster even though now he’s formed bonds with people. He struggles to make sense of the past and how it fits into how he became who he is. 

He reminisces about the past, as he’s running away from the Awakusu-kai, of how he learnt parkour while chasing Izaya, even though it happened more than five years ago. His body has mastered the ‘art of chasing’ through parkour, and he turned that art into one of fleeing in order to adapt to the situation. 

He refers to the past for information when he’s in the present. He thinks Izaya is behind everything because he was in the past. He thinks Izaya sent those gangs after him because it’s what he did in the past. When he realizes there’s a gang fight in Ikebukuro, he decides that past gang fights are nothing compared to the current situation he is in. His Ne brings up the uncanny nature of things, as he thinks of too much happening to him in the last two days. He recognizes Raira’s Second Ground as where he often fought and when he sees Chikage, thinks back to their fight and how he healed so quickly. He thinks of the possibility that Toramaru is the one attacking Dollars, but remembers from his experience with Chikage that he didn’t look like he was difficult to be reasoned with. He decides, perhaps from past witnessing, that if Kadota is involved it’d be taken care of.

Extroverted Feeling (Fe): 

“I’m not like Kadota, Yumasaki and the others. I’m always alone no matter what I do. I guess Izaya’s the same as me. That bastard probably doesn’t have anyone he can call a friend. But, it’s not like I want to be alone all the time. Actually, I really want to interact with people, even if it’s just a formality or something.”

Shizuo can take care of people’s feelings. As he matures throughout the novels, he becomes someone who can take care of and help other people. He helps Akane, understands Vorona, and supports Celty. He feels grateful he was able to connect with Tom back in middle school. He tells Mairu and Kururi he’s worried for them as Izaya seems the type to abandon them if something goes wrong. He pretends to be friends with Izaya to not scare Akane, he doesn’t want to get pissed in front of a kid and scare her, he also figured that Izaya is behind everything and tells Akane a white lie so she won’t feel hurt. 

While thinking on the skydeck of Sunshine 60, he thinks of the trouble he’s caused people and the trouble he’ll cause to the staff if he kills Izaya by throwing him off the building. He’s disgusted that the Dollars are kidnapping women and ruining the harmony and peace, and quits the Dollars because he doesn’t want to be part of a group which kidnaps women.

He cares about how people feel towards him and he wants their acceptance, which also influences his perception of himself as a monster.

More things I learned from 2016

1. Many people actually have a binary way of thinking. Black and white, no grey area. You’re either religious or you’re not. Either Assad or the terrorists. Western messy postmodernist values that are incredibly permissive or the rigid traditions of Arab culture. This is just the easier way to think, it’s the quick answer. Reality is a lot more grey, and so much more complicated.
2. There are many people who uphold problematic beliefs but they’re not necessarily a problematic person themselves. Many are simply misinformed, or had propaganda repeated to them so much that they just simply eventually believed it. Or they may have been manipulated into believing a particular viewpoint some way or another. Bottom line is, don’t be immediately harsh with someone who has problematic beliefs. You don’t know the full story of how they have come to develop their world views. You could be doing a lot more harm than good by being cruel to them.
3. No matter how good an ideology is, human behaviour can corrupt it. It’s much easier to fully blame said ideology, rather than look at human behaviour and motivations that have manipulated said ideology. Be constantly critical of your own actions and motivations, and the excuses you make. Don’t fall into the same old tropes. For example, blaming Islam for all of the problems in the Middle East and North Africa, instead of looking at human behaviour affected by sociopolitical economic factors in the region.
4. Just because you attract a lot of thirsty people, doesn’t mean that that is what your purpose is, or all that anyone will ever see in you. I promise you, you can still dream of commitment with a life partner, and having a house in a nice location. Just keep to your own principles and avoid those who just want one thing, and keep focusing on your own legacy.
5. Women can be just as creepy as men.
6. You might think you want to educate and enlighten everyone, but it’s much better to save that energy by focusing on your own legacy. You are not obligated to politely educate those who hate your existence, you are allowed to avoid the conversation and walk away. Control your temper, because lashing out at them is a waste of energy, remembering bulletpoint number 2. You are not obligated to explain yourself or to save face.
7. It’s very easy to make people like you, a lot of people actually. But it’s much better to be a loner and spend more time reading lots of books, be productive and prepare yourself for opportunities. You’re only young and lively once, make good use of your time. You don’t need validation from others all the time.
8. There’s nothing wrong with feeling like you don’t belong in anywhere in particular. That’s a lot better, makes you a lot less attached to any place in particular and therefore a lot more critical.
9. Basic civil liberties are so important. Much more important than enforcing ideology. Humanistic principles are important above all else. Secularist dictators in the Middle East and North Africa should not be seen as a force for good, just because they aren’t Islamist and the dictator wears a suit and tie. If they don’t support basic civil liberties, they should not be supported.
10. There’s nothing wrong with feeling deeply, it doesn’t make you gross or creepy. Those who experienced trauma will feel a lot more deeply than others, so those people should not feel bad for craving attention and validation.
11. Healing isn’t linear and it takes time. Forgive yourself frequently for splitting every now and then. Just because you may have that same bad feeling now all of a sudden, doesn’t mean that feeling lasts forever. Remind yourself it’s temporary.

nanu headcanons, i suppose:

  • he genuinely cares about the protagonist’s well-being, even if he’s very nonchalant about it. after all, he climbed an entire mountain ‘just because kukui asked him to’ yet refused be an elite 4 member ‘just because kukui asked him to’.
  • he’s the quiet, listening and observing type. he would let anyone who wants to talk ramble on. it’s an old habit that has something to do with his experience as a police officer – let them talk, and eventually they will spill the beans.
  • he says that he’s got no need for the ‘nonsense’ of heart scales after treating the protagonist to a meal at sushi high roller. but really, he just wants the protagonist to train their pokemon to the best of their ability. he is also concerned about the protagonist now that they have caught a few of the ultra beasts.
  • when he first met acerola, he wondered how someone so young who had lost their parents could still smile like that. then, he saw that she had ghost pokemon by her side. these pokemon never fail to make her laugh and earn a chuckle from him. 
  • he once asked if acerola needed help with funds and stuff, because all he ever sees her wearing is that tattered and patched up dress. acerola had shook her head and told him that the dress was the last thing her parents gave her before their passing. nanu doesn’t question her fashion choices anymore after that. 
  • he’s met gladion a few times during his time working for the international police. he was investigating the ultra beats, and noticed a sad kid crying out for freedom and trying to subtly undermine the experiments by questioning them. he knows that gladion has strength within him, and was surprised when gladion joined and wanted to depend on team skull for strength.
  • in his younger years, he questioned the use of poke balls. the pokemon are locked up in a little confined space, and he wondered if they enjoy the experience. seeing team skull being locked up in their little town, he began to wonder about the same thing again.
  • he’s lost one of his colleagues during a mission investigating the ultra beasts, and in tern adopted his colleague’s persian as his own. the meowth that follow are strays that he decided to feed - those poor things - and they ended up following him back home.
  • he was terminated from the international police force after failing a crucial ultra beasts mission and for the loss of his colleague. (”how can we trust him with our backs anymore?” some of his co-workers had whispered). he moved to alola, a paradise where no one would really know/care who he was, to get away from it all.
  • He trusts few pokemon – much less the guardian deity of ula'ula island when it first approached him – because he remembers how a colleague of his felt sorry for the ultra beast ‘monsters’. the sympathy for those ‘monsters’, even if only for a moment, was a grave mistake on not only his colleague’s part, but his part as well.
  • oftentimes, when he cannot sleep, he would go on midnight walks. persian usually accompanies him, and eventually all of his meowth. he started to feel guilty for dragging all the pokemon into it, but persian insisted and put the young meowth at ease by ‘representing’ them during his walks.