MBTI as Night Vale Proverbs
ESTJ: “I’m all business,” I say, peeling off my skin strip by strip, showing you what oozes out. “Business to my core.”
ISTJ: Be careful what you wish for. Because it probably won’t come true, and life is about expectations management.
ESFJ: Knock knock. Who’s there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad I didn’t say your mother’s in the hospital. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. Is there anything I can do? Listen. I’ll drive you over there. We’ll leave right now. Grab a coat; it’s a little cold out. I’m so sorry.
ISFJ: Eating meat is a difficult moral decision, because it’s stolen, that meat. You should apologise.
ESTP: Pain is just weakness leaving the body, and then being replaced by pain. Lots of pain.
ISTP: “There’s no harm in trying” really depends on what you’re trying. Either way, give it a go - it’s probably fine.
ESFP: I let my haters be my motivators. Mostly they tell me I suck, and then I get sad. This was a terrible idea.
ISFP: Say what you will about dance, but language is a limited form of expression.
ENFJ: If you love someone, set them free. Set them free now. This is the police, and we have you surrounded.
INFJ: If I said you had a beautiful body, would it even matter because we are so insignificant in this vast incomprehensible universe?
ENFP: Ask your doctor just who he thinks he is. Say it just like that. Say, “Who do you think you are?” See if he starts crying. I know I would.
INFP: Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never quite describe the pain.
ENTJ: Remember that all sentences must have a noun, a verb, and the phrase “foolish mortals”.
INTJ: Listen. I’m not a hero. The real heroes are the people that point out to us when protesters have smartphones, thus invalidating all concerns.
ENTP: Lost? Confused? Lacking direction? Need to find a purpose in your life?
INTP: Look to the sky. You will not find answers there, but you will certainly see what everyone is screaming about.
~Nero & Nike