someone gave me you

anonymous asked:

Had someone propose today in the dining room at the restaurant i waitress at and they got so mad when we wouldn't give them their food for free or give them any discounts. Like, that's not how this shit works. You can't rack up a $350 bill and expect to get for free cause you gave someone a ring. The woman was telling me how I ruined her engagement and this is going to be an embarrassment for the rest of her life 😂😂

How much you want to bet it was all staged for the free food?

-Rodney

On the concept of Soulmate AUs

You know what I’m tired of? Soulmate AUs with the protagonist/antagonist ship as the main pairing that always has the villain who reacts the best to the situation, and the hero freaking out.

What I want to see is a hero who gets it, who understands that yeah, their soulmate may kind of be a murdering psychopath, but that’s cool, they can deal with that, they can live through it, but what’s not cool is them totally looking the other way and avoiding the hell out of them.

Give me the realisation that they’re soulmates in the middle of a fight, when they’re bloody and bruised and tired and they just slip, skin on skin contact, and then the whole world just shifts into place.

“This can’t be happening.”

“Have you every heard of opposites attract?”

“I’m going to kill you.”

“But- Okay, yeah, we’re doing this.”

Give me a brutal fight that ends with a “Since when do my attacks hurt this much?” and the villain slowly realising that they can’t kill themselves out of this situation, that they can’t escape this because they’re soul bonded to a kid with a hero complex who is constantly trying to thwart them and is now for some reason grinning at them like a lunatic because they supposedly belong together. And damn does suddenly being able to feel emotions and pain that wasn’t his sting, because he has enough shit to deal with on his own without the added pressure, thanks.

Give me snarky comments and miniature fights in the middle of the night when the hero catches the antagonist coming back from who knows where, bloody and in pain and maybe a little too bust up, to say they won the fight.

“You usually look happier to see me.”

“You killed someone this morning.”

“What gave it away?”

“You mean besides the fact that you’re covered in blood and I felt every moment of it?”

Give me the villain slowly getting used to the idea that hey, they’re sort of going to have to put up with this little ray of sunshine for a while even though he kind of hates his guts and wants to kill him, but also give me the villain wondering what they ever did to deserve this. What could they possibly have done that was so great, so obscenely terrifyingly amazing that they could be soul bonded to a person like this, someone so innocent and righteous and downright beautiful that half of it seems like a mad dream?

“Not every bad guy has a tragic past.”

“But you do. I’ve seen it.”

“I’m going to punch you.”

“That would be counterproductive to what we’re doing here.”

“…”

“That hurt you as much as it hurt me.”

“Worth it.”

Give me tempers flaring and bristling arguments and the hero getting so tired, but still carrying on, not because they think that there’s some good in the antagonist or because they think they can change them, but because this is their soulmate, the person that the fates chose for him, his other half, someone that he had to protect and look after and love, because if not him, then who else was going to?

“I am going to hurt you. I’m going to rip out your intestines and strangle you with them.”

“You’ve been pretty good today. That’s three less death threats than yesterday.”

“Prepare to have your balls removed with a butcher’s knife and shoved down your throat, asshole.”

“I’m still counting this as progress.”

Give me the antagonist not realising the reality that this isn’t someone who wants something from him, who wants to change him, use him, abuse him, but rather someone who just wants to be with him, love him. Give me an antagonist who can’t understand the concept that somebody might actually care.

“I thought this was what you wanted! The sex, the cuddling, the stupid hand-holding. What more could you want from me?”

“I don’t want anything from you.”

“Yes you do. They always do! Just tell me what you want and you can have it. Just leave me alone, please. I can’t take this anymore.”

“I want you to trust me, to believe me when I say that I love you.”

“You’re only saying that because of the bond.”

“No, I’m not. I’ve seen everything that you have, felt what you feel, heard what you’ve heard. Maybe at first, a little, it was just because of the bond, but then I fell in love with you, the real you, the one behind all the fronts that you put up.”

“I don’t believe you.”

“I didn’t expect you too, but you will, one day. I’m not giving up on you.”

Give me the hero facing shit from their friends and family, because they don’t understand why they’re trying so hard and putting up with so much shit, even though he’s his soulmate, but the hero just shrugging and smiling because they get it, and it doesn’t matter if everyone else doesn’t.

“He threatens to brutally mutilate you constantly.”

“I like to believe it’s how he expresses his affections.”

“He tried to kill you so many times.”

“There was only the once after we found out about the bond, though.”

“You’re making excuses now.”

“It’s just that there’s so much anger in him, all of the time. I don’t know how anyone could live like that. I want to help him.”

“You’re going to get yourself killed.”

“That’s not my biggest concern anymore. He is.”

Give me a hero who tries so, so hard, and a villain who, despite everything, slowly gives in. Give me quiet nights laid in bed or watching the stars, no words and only their hands touching, just the sensation of palm against palm enough. Give me heated arguments, rage, unsteady headiness at the realisation that they’re not going to leave each other, no matter what happens.

Give me a soulmate AU where the hero doesn’t react badly, isn’t scared or hateful that their soulmate is their arch nemesis, the big bad guy, the villain they can never seem to get rid of, because really they should have expected that all along. Because no one hates that much without there being a little something more behind it.

thrilling new au scenarios for your otps
  • I lost my little sibling in IKEA and I need your help finding them
  • I work at the animal shelter and you always come in to pet the cats when you’re sad
  • “Oh so you’re the camp counselor my little sibling keeps talking about”
  • We both have friends who party too hard and we keep running into each other in the bathroom while we hold their hair back
  • We showed up at a book club meeting but we’re the only people there who are not interested in Nicholas Sparks
  • We both signed up for an adventure cycling class and we’re the slowest people so we always end up biking together at the back
  • I work at Chuck E. Cheese and your sibling is having a huge birthday party
  • Your RA almost caught your illegal cat but I convinced them that it was just me meowing
  • I have a service dog and you’re failing this class because you just stare at it instead of taking notes
  • Our little siblings are on rival sports teams and I’ve made it my life goal to cheer louder than you
  • Someone gave me a fake phone number and it’s actually yours
6

That’s definitely not the first thing that should have come to mind, Kuroo

(tho it looks like no one really minds

aside from bokuto that is)

3

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MY PRECIOUS BOIS!!!!!!!


Well actually I should said belated birthday instead cuz I’m already 10 days late i’m sorr TT_________TT Anyway it’s better late then never right? hahaa….

It took me a lot more time than expected to finish this bc i ran out of idea and all i could think of were comic ideas but y’know to finish a comic takes more time than to finish a drawing OTL so i struggled and drew this finally.. &&& i’ve been slacking off a lot lately help T-T (I’M REALLY SORRY FOR THOSE WHO WAITED!! >___<)

On a side note i have the part 2 sketches of this comic but im too lazy to draw it now lmao (part 2 is probably abt Saeran eating ice cream lol anyone interested)

hello hello guys :’) it’s sav, aka hoseokxx aka hixtapexx and right now…… YCCNSEOK! (woooo say hello to my new url - i just Needed yoongi to be somewhere inside my url too :c)
i’ve recently hit a personal goal not too long ago and decided that a follower forever had to be done (this has been follow forever #468536 and counting) (jk) to show my appreciation to both my following, for their beautiful!!!!!!!!!! content and reblogs i get to see each and everyday i come onto tumblr! and followers, for their constant support to my blog and their asks that really brighten up my days ;u; THANK YOU all so so sooo much!! ♡

and because i won’t be around here much till early october due to exams (17/09 i’ll poof away from tumblr), this will also be my hiatus announcement sobs (i’ll be back for their comeback though!! and to queue more things from time to time <3)

now on to the proper follow forever:

Keep reading

When all your friends are posting pics with their significant other for Valentine’s Day but you’re still single

Asking Katie McGrath when her birthday is
  • Someone: when is your birthday?
  • Katie: the day I was born.
  • Someone: when were you born?
  • Katie: the day my mother gave birth to me.
  • Someone: when did your mother give birth to you?
  • Katie: the day the pregnancy ended.
  • Someone: when did the pregnancy end?
  • Katie: the day I started breathing.
  • Someone: when did you start breathing?
  • Katie: the day I came in to the world.
4

The Glass Scientists- Behind The Scenes🎬

I imagine this would invole a lot of costume makeup, coffee, CGI, and forgotten lines

Feel free to add your own ideas of what could happen behind the scenes!

There will be times in your life when you will feel underappreciated. Unloved. Lonely.

And those are the best times to practice a little self-love.

For years, I didn’t get the meaning behind the simple words of “love yourself”. It sounds great on paper, but what does it truly mean, in a practical sense, to love yourself? And more importantly, how do you achieve it exactly?

Do you just get up in the morning and stare in the mirror and say “I love you”? Do you go around pretending you are awesome and hope that somehow that will make you feel awesome? Do you have to keep saying some mantra in your head, “I’m awesome, I’m awesome, I love myself”?

Maybe it’s those things too but maybe it’s something else entirely.

One time I came across a quote that single-handedly and utterly resolved the issue for me.

The quote went something along these lines:

“Treat yourself the way you would treat someone you love.”

The quote gave me that eureka moment of finally realizing how I can practice self-love. All I have to do is simply think about the people I love and how much I want them to be happy and how I treat them and apply the same concepts to myself.

For example,

My friend is not worthless. They are magnificent and warm and all the things that make the world a better place and they deserve to be treated right. When I transfer that concept to myself, I realize that I make the world brighter for someone else and I deserve to be treated well by others.

Or

I don’t want my partner to smoke and eat junk food. I don’t want them to keep doing things that are unhealthy and that might hurt them in the future. Why should I give myself a pass on those things as well? As someone who cares about their long term future, I should steer myself towards cultivating good habits.

Or

My family member is feeling down and depressed. Instead of being hard on them or making it worse for them, I try to be of comfort to them. I’ll watch a movie with them if they want, cook them a meal, or bring them outside.

The same concept applies to myself. I shouldn’t be hard on myself for not being at 100% sometimes and it’s alright to give myself downtime or to give in and do things that give me pleasure/happiness.

See, it’s all really elemental, isn’t it?

Just remember, “Treat yourself the way you would treat someone you love.”

Exo Reveal I
  • Chanyeol: Act surprised. Baekhyun thinks you guys don't know that we're dating.
  • Baekhyun: *enters the room* I know this might be a bit of a shock, but Chanyeol and I are dating!
  • Exo:
  • Suho: Oh my god, that is brand new information!
  • Sehun: Someone hold me.
  • Chen: It's like you think you know someone but...
  • Kyungsoo: *deadpan* You almost gave me a heart attack.
  • Xiumin: Jesus Christ, our holy savior!
  • Kai: I'm so surprised that I can't even speak.
  • Lay: *actually shooked*
  • Chanyeol: I hate all of you.
Pretend (Drabble)

Anon, you’ve slayed me. That’s so cute and pure and my heart is just tearing itself apart. I just love these sorts of prompt. THEY’RE PURE AND EVERYONE IS HAPPY, SO I’M HAPPY FOR THEM. I hope you enjoy, and thanks for the request. I have chosen to subject Jesse McCree to this because this guy needs some McLovin’. (I’m just in a Jesse McCree mood for some reason.)


A romantic relationship in this line of work was a dangerous thing, and if you both valued your lives, you would never enter one. Attachment is dangerous, you reminded yourself daily. But your traitorous heart ached anyway, unheeding of your rationality and logic.   

Dealing with this whole thing would be tremendously easier if you and Jesse McCree weren’t on a long-term mission mission as a duo. It took every scrap of self-control (and more) to prevent yourself from embarrassing yourself with some over-the-top reaction when this mission was announced. Though, Torbjorn did receive a nasty glare when he shouted, “About damn time. I’ve got projects to fund, you know.” 

It’s been weeks since you both came to this city, setting up camp in a residential neighborhood where there were suspected to be a weapons trading ring. It was hard to believe at first considering just how peaceful everything seemed when you and Jesse moved in, pretending to be recently married. When you questioned the decision for this scenario (not that you were entirely against it), Soldier: 76 explained it was to blend in and get among the trading ring’s ranks. It was a very family-orientated neighborhood, after all. Jesse, always the one to roll with the punches, took your hand and tapped you where a ring would theoretically sit. 

“So, d’you wanna take my last name or should I take yours?”

That lit a fire so bright inside you that you felt like you were going to become a victim of spontaneous human combustion. 

It wouldn’t be the last time you’d feel such a way. 

Keep reading

The Only One

Smut.

//

“Are you mad at me?”

Harry nervously asked as he sat from the edge of the bed, your possible reaction making him even more nervous and anxious even if you haven’t said anything, your figure sat on the office chair that isn’t facing him.

“I — I told you it was only for a skit. S-someone had this idea to make the mark — the hickey, to be as real as possible. Then well uhm, James called-…”

He went quiet when you finally turned, your hands clasped tightly with a rigid look on your face that made Harry’s breath hitch.

“Then why did you let Kendall mark you?”

From what he’s hearing, it didn’t count as a question, but instead, it came off as a harsh statement bluntly asking him why he let someone, someone who isn’t you, put a mark on him.

“I — I wasn'y thinking.”

Harry unknowingly found himself stuttering even if he was telling the absolute truth, his heart pounding against its confines.

“You sure didn’t do.”

You emphasized, slowly walking to his position which was torture for him, a breathy grunt escaping his lips once you sat on his lap facing him, your legs latched at his waist.

Harry closed his eyes shut, not lying when he says he broke onto a cold sweat once you stayed silent that made him not know what you’re thinking of, mixed with the intense dark stare you’re giving him which he couldn’t go past every single time.

“It’s so fucking unfair.”

Your finger slowly trailed from the back of his ear agonizingly until it stopped on his exposed chest, his breathing faltering with him shuddering at your simple touch.

And he isn’t lying either when he says he’s turned on by the change of your voice and words, the very thought itself of you being the dominant to him brought his goodebumps but now that it’s unfolding right on him, he swears he’s never been on this much pain and anticipation until now.

“She gets to mark you,” you bitterly started off, your hand slowly going through his hair that made him swalow thickly, his hard-on being harder to handle once you pulled his hair.

“And I don’t?”

Harry tried to choke down his moans once your thumb harshly went over the small red mark on his neck, not being able to hold them in any longer even if it’s the massive effect of your words on him.

“So, the answer to your question — I’m not mad.”

He’s squirming once your lips brushed over his ear, a little whine being heard as he now couldn’t deny the desperation on him, all the pain being put on him as he’s the one tonight who’ll be begging.

“I’m just furious.”

He threw his head back, being honest once he admits he’s wrapped around your finger.

Harry moaned once your lips were on his, the torture being him following your lead, your tongue lapping against his own with your lips detaching once every few seconds for brief moments made him long for the touch and the feeling he’s obsessed with.

You stopped, your intense gaze on him making him submissively go back until his head was mere inches from the headboard lying down, his bulge being more than prominent once you sat on his crotch again.

“Please — fuck, no. Don’t stop.”

You mockingly frowned, cooing at Harry who’s eager for any type of contact with you that would relieve him.

“Aw, does Harry deserve this?”

He hissed underneath you the moment you circled your hips against his cock that’s still restrained with his tight jeans, a desperate whine leaving his lips when you unbuttoned his polo shirt slowly as one by one, trailing down until your hand stopped at the button of his jeans.

“As far as I’m concerned, someone gave you a hickey. And well, it’s not me since I’m not allowed to, right?”

Harry’s eyes fluttered closed yet immediately opened them once he felt a tug at his roots at the back of his head, the sudden feeling sending shivers down his spine.

“R-right.”

“So that means,” you trailed off, Harry’s eyes pleading for you to do something, anything that could add to the increasing ecstasy he’s in.

“Someone else got to touch Harry. My Harry.”

His throat went dry once he felt his jeans go completely off, the cold air hitting his expose cock that made him moan.

You smashed your lips onto his again, this time being a lot more fulfilling with how you bit his lip and had his hair on your hands, his breathing going heavier as he wanted to feel every inch of you yet was held back by the unspoken but known punishment of having to not touch the other.

Harry absolutely had no problem of you claiming him considering that he would’ve reacted the same when he would see a hickey in your neck that wasn’t made by him for a skit.

“Then I guess you need to learn on who’s the only one who gets to do this.”

A strangled moan filled the room once your teeth sinked in on the layer of the soft flesh of his neck, the combination ig nibbling and sucking from his neck up to his jaw already enough for him to not stay still.

“Just — just you.”

You hummed against his skin, your tongue trailing from his neck down to his chest, leaving another mark as your thumb grazed some that you’ve already made

“Tell me what you want, baby.”

It became hard for Harry to form the words as they weren’t on the tip of his tongue, being so caught up at the moment he wants to savor every last bit of the pleasure.

“Mouth. I — I-…”

“You want my mouth wrapped around your cock?”

You batted your eyelashes, looking at him with the feign innocence in your eyes, your figure drawling up on the underside of his hard-on.

“Y-yes — fuck!”

You slowly lowered your mouth until it’s hovering centimeters away from his member that you’re holding firmly, purposely taking off your shirt and boxers in the last minute purposely, leaving you in the lingerie that Harry coincidentally loves so dearly.

“Love, you — you’ve got to — fucking hell!”

Harry almost yelled once your mouth sunken down in him without warning that ceased his begging, his tip at the back of your throat made his eyes roll to the back of his head just by the sight of you taking him so well.

“S'so — so fucking good,” he cried out, biting his lip as he felt moans tear through his throat, each ine getting louder than the other.

Harry gripped the sheets tightly once you hollowed your cheeks and started swallowing, bucking his hips slightly that made him release a moan that was beyond as his high from having a sudden spike of pleasure.

“I’m-…”

He barely got to finish the sentence since he already came the moment you slightly grazed your teeth on the spot just above his balls, no high being so on top that his vision darkened at the edges, throwing his head back as he looked at you swallowing his load, some dribbling down the edges of your mouth, his mouth formed agape.

“Can someone else have you like this?”

You asked with authority, climbing uo that your core was grinding against his cock, some of the wetness your harboring making the teasing so slick.

“Fuck, fuck — no! Shit, no!”

You smirked, unclasping your bra just in time that you looked down on him.

“You can touch now, love.”

Harry praised you in return, bringing your head down abruptly to have both a taste of your mouth and himself which he really didn’t mind at the moment, his hands lowering down as they squeezed your boobs, his fingers digging in on the flesh that made you moan into the kiss, his hips brushing up again.

He looked down, being in a rush to have himself inside you that he already ripped your lace panties.

“I — I’ll buy you more, I swear.”

He promised, his hands on your ass that guided you right all the way down his throbbing cock, both your load moans in sync.

“So fucking tight.”

He panted against your neck, his bucking hips and your lowering figure against each other that every thrust hit you perfectly, completely filling you up as you cried out in pleasure as well as Harry.

Harry held you tight and close, giving one last thrust that was the homerun as pleasure seepuned in you on every part of your body.

He pulled you down to his chest, a smile on his face as his lips brushed against yours.

“M'only one.”