someone being ashamed of you

anonymous asked:

Nessian. 1: Angry, fiery, bitter Cassian, and Nesta being the soothing one (just for him of course). 2: Nesta being the protector. Accepting Cassian and protecting him as fiercely and savage as she would her sister.

Cassian feels incapable after Nesta defended him at the Illyrian camps. Now that they are back at the House of Wind Cassian struggles to deal with his doubts of his own strength. The fact that he can’t even tie his hair back without being in pain is only adding to the fire. That is until someone needs his help. 

And he’s not about to say no to Nesta’s request.

“I’m not ashamed of you,” Cassian said with a shake of his head. “I’m disappointed in my own weakness. You’re the one that’s strong Nesta.”

“But so are you,” Nesta fiercely replied.

TAGS: hurt, comfort, hair braiding

It hurt. Everything felt in pain. Cassian sat on his bed with shoulders hunched over. Eyes staring mournfully out the window where the sky was clear and bright.

Taunting him. For his wings were a mess and he was currently no better than a caged bird. He hated it. Not being able to answer the wind’s call. Or feeling the way his body soared through the air as if it was second nature.

Even his troops began whispering behind his back. Staring in horror at the bandages and knowing that underneath the white gauze there were shredded wings that may never be healed.

Cassian showed them that he could still take them with on with brute strength and the magic that channeled into his siphons. Match after match he took down any soldiers that tried to usurp him. After hours of fighting for the days he began to feel his strength waning.

And that’s when she stepped in.

Nesta sliced into each warrior with words that made them pause and reconsider challenging the Commander. And when one warrior still tried to pick a fight, Nesta volunteered in Cassian’s place. She won. Easily pummeling the male and giving every other Illyrian a stormy look that boded wrath for anyone that dared to step forward.

It pissed Cassian off. Not that Nesta dealt punishment to the warriors. They deserved that and more with the way they treated her early that week claiming she was nothing, but a weak female. Of course they were swiftly proven wrong.

But it was the fact that Nessian defended Cassian that bothered him. Made the self-loathing he felt increase with every punch, snarl and biting remark she said in his defense.

He should be the one protecting her. That was the promise he made. One that he still hadn’t been able to keep.

He was supposed to be stronger than that. Strong enough to spare Nesta from the pain of being tossed into the Cauldron and from the upcoming war.

He failed her.

Cassian rubbed his palms over his eyes trying to calm himself. Attempt to dampen the burning rage that was about to send him to a dark place in his mind he didn’t want to think about.

To distract himself he reached for the leather band on his bedside table. A strong gust of wind from Velaris blew into his room at the House of Wind causing his long hair to brush softly across his shoulders. His intention was to tie up his hair and train. Work off some steam that had been building ever since he and Nesta returned from the camps.

His hand grasped the brown leather band, but as he pulled his arms back to tie it up his shoulders stung and in a gasping breath Cassian quickly dropped his arms. His wings quivered in aftershocks of pain.

It became evident that Cassian wouldn’t even be able to lift his arms. The pain was worse today than it usually had been. Probably from all the previous battles he fought at camp.

With a frustrated shout Cassian threw the leather band onto his bed and rubbed a hand across his face. Trying to stay calm even though his emotions were far from it.

A knock at the door was his only warning before he turned around to see Nesta opening the door and striding in as if this was her room and not his.

“What is it?” Cassian growled. It wasn’t a threat. He simply didn’t want her to see him like this. In such a weak position that he couldn’t even tie his own damn hair up.

She watched him closely for a moment before slowly closing the distance between her and him. As if she was nervous that he would order her away.

“I need your help.” She stopped at the foot of the bed. Her eyes taking in the scene before her. She glanced between the leather strap and Cassian with her brow slightly raised.

“You seem capable of being able to help yourself recently,” Cassian replied with less bite than before. He was proud that Nesta was becoming stronger both physically and mentally. It was only just before their trip that she asked to come along and be part of the training process. She wanted to assist them. And she wanted to do so with Cassian.

Nesta blinked before looking out the window to consider her next words. She was biting the inside of her cheek. Cassian could tell that she always did that when she was either nervous or holding something back she wanted to say.

“Never mind then,” she turned back to face the door. Turning her back to Cassian. “It was a silly request. I’m sorry I bothered you.”

And from the tone of her words Cassian could tell that something was bothering her. He quickly wrapped his hand around her wrist to stop her from leaving. He kept his face clear of the pain his shoulders felt at the movement, but Nesta’s eyes flickered to them. A flash of worry and then her eyes were steel again.

Keep reading

NewtXReader - PART 1 - bitter sweet love


PART 2: here

PART 3: here

PART 4: here

PART 5: here 

Feel free to send requests as I will do all! Any character from Harry Potter series or Fantastic beasts (I prefer Newt Scamander ones though)

Info: fluff > will eventually turn to smut in future chapters

You and Newt have been traveling companions for years, and their friendship always felt a little more than friends. Too shy to admit their feelings a new person comes into their lives, threatening to shit the balance of things. Jealousy is bitter sweet.


Newt had finally came home to London from his travels, in New York. The last couple of days had been unbearable, you missed the freckled man and you going on adventures, but here he was. In the corner of a quiet coffee shop he spilled his great tales and adventures from across the ocean to you. He spoke of a funny chubby little man with a knack for baking, called Jacob and a mind reading, dressmaker, bubbly blonde known as Queenie. However the third person…

“Y/N she was incredible, she was slightly eh…intimidating to say the least at first but merlin…is her enthusiasm for work contagious! And Pickett! He’s taken such a liking for her so I left him with her for a bit, decided it would do him good for the attachment issues” Newt chuckled.

Newt never trusted anyone but you to care for his creatures and even so it took months for you to earn his trust, but here he was allowing his favourite creature (he denies having favourites but you know better) with a woman he barely had become acquaintances with.

Sucking up your slight feelings of betrayal, you smiled, “She sounds wonderful, I’ll have to meet her someday” your attempt at hiding your feelings was pathetic but Newt was to oblivious to take notice at the hurt behind your voice. “Y/N you should come back with me! You could meet her as well as Jacob and Q-”

“Back? Your going to stay there?” Confusion spread fast across your face.

“Good heavens no, I need to collect Pickett and I also intend to give Tina my first copy of my book! She helped me think of a name, ‘Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them. Quite nifty isn’t it?”

“But I thought I was to get your first copy of your book…”

Red tinted his cheeks. He’d forgotten about that promise, he really owed it to you to get the first copy, after all you had accompanied him on his journeys all this time, sketching out illustrations of all the marvellous creatures to accompany his descriptions. Had his new infatuation with this ‘Tina woman’ really put you completely out of the picture?

“Em yess n-no I mean, of course yes your getting the first copy. In fact I organised a little some thing extra for your copy. It wouldn’t even be possible to complete this book with out your help. I don’t think I say this quite enough but thank you..” , he smiled at your shoes, avoiding eye contact from embarrassment

Flustered and not completely thinking straight you blurted out, “well I know how you can repay me..take me with you to New York”

An adorable grin appeared on Newts face and happiness gleamed through his eyes, “so you’ll go with me?”

Gathering your thoughts, you realised what you had said but curiosity (and jealously although you would never admit it) had gotten the better of you and you gave into your temptations, “yes of course Newt, I wouldn’t turn down an adventure with you”, you laughed.

Your heart skipped a little when he flashed his pearly white teeth and engulfed you in a warm cinnamon scented hug. Butterflies erupted in your stomach as you felt the bottom of his chin rest on the top of your head. As his hands soothingly rubbed circles into your back it seemed as though both of you were perfect fit for each other.

“You won’t regret it love, we travel so much but always for work. We never get a break to ourselves, I can show you all around New York, without having to chase after the niffler this time, hopefully”. He sighed into your hair

“So this means you’ll leave your case behind then?” You smugly asked already knowing the answer.

“Y/N” he gasped fake offended “how dare you ask me to leave my babies behind”.

Both of you erupted in a fit of giggles before Newt placed a gentle kiss on the top of your head and let out a content sigh. It felt so natural to act like this with Newt, as though it was programmed into your nature, but before long Newt became aware of the small gesture he had just given you. Stuttering he pulled away from the hug, his warmth departing from your body and blushes on both of your faces.

“Sorry-I’ll just go p-pack now”.

“Don’t forget your scarf Mr Scamander” you teased before he gave you one last heartwarming smile and disappearing out the coffee shop door

Although the journey on the ship was rough and wild, with Newt by your side anything was bearable. Once in land you resisted the urge to kiss the ground as Newt entwined his large hand with your dainty one, ensuring that you weren’t going to get lost in the busy crowds at the dock.

As you approached security Newt as usual became a mumbling mess. Even though Newt looked about as dangerous as a mouse with those freckles, his habit of avoiding eye contact and uncalled for nervousness made him appear as though he where planning a mass murder. This had become a regular occurrence for the 2 of you however you had learned how to deal with it.

“Any livestock?” The buff security man questioned, boredom practically dripping from his voice.

Newts eyes noticeably widened, panic surfacing across his features. The atmosphere suddenly thickening considerably as Newt looked hopelessly to you for help.

“Now how would we manage to fit any livestock in there mister. Do I look like a wizard to you?” You chuckled trying to lighten the mood.

“Sorry miss only doing ma job” he gave a quick tilt of his hat before allowing you and Newt to pass on through “have a good day you two”.

“Thank you! ” you called back as Newt led you away from the docks.

“Merlin what would I do without you Y/N, I’m afraid I’m quite the mumbling mess”

“I can’t Imagine how you even managed to make it through there the last time you came!”

“I was just a smidge from getting caught last time, if it wasn’t for that muggle button” he laughed “we better make our way onwards before the evening comes”

After you

What both of you had failed to realise was that your hands still remained interlocked.
3 hours. 3 hours of wandering for the Goldstein sisters’ apartments and not a daft clue where the 2 of you where. Night was closing in fast, the cool air blowing against your blouse, which was offering no protection from the icy winds. You longed for the warmth of a fire.

“N-newt I t-think we might-t be lost” you chattered out. Newt looked to your shaking frame, goosebumps rising on your skin. With concern in his eyes he turned to you
“Y/N your shaking love”

“Don’t w-worry I’m okay-y”

“No your not, your shaking like a leaf, here take this”, Newt slipped off is slightly tattered blue coat, shyly offering it to you.

“Newt I can’t take it you’ll freeze! Don’t worry about me, your not normally a worrier” smiling you attempted to put on your best Newt voice, “my philosophy is that if you worry you suffer twice”. Newt burst out laughing at your measly impression of him before turning to you seriously, avoiding eye contact.

“I’m allowed to worry Y/N about the things that are close to me. Please, I won’t take no for an answer” he said draping the coats around your shoulders.

“Next you’ll have me in your bow tie!”

“Don’t worry you could pull it off” he said giving a cheeky wink. You laughed at his comment, you loved moments like these, special ones where Newt completely let go of his reserved self. It was only with you that he could really be himself. He had no reason to think you’d judge him.

“Come on now Mr Scamander, I thought you’re meant to be a good navigator! Are we nearly there yet?”

Taking 2 fingers he gently placed them underneath your chin and titled your head slightly upwards. In front of you where the apartments Newt had described. Both of you quietly snuck upstairs and knocked on the door.

When it eventually opened a figure was standing there.


She was undeniably gorgeous. Creamy skin, dark alluring locks of hair, her posture radiating confidence and pride so unlike yourself. Dressed in a knee length skirt, showing her gorgeous legs and a silk blouse complementing her figure. Upon seeing Newt a smile lit up her face, as she wrapped her arms around him. At this moment you practically felt invisible, not to mention highly self conscious. All you wanted to do was curl up in Newts oversized coat. She was stunning and you were just… Well you.

“Newt! Oh my it’s been so long, Pickett’s just dying to see you again. I don’t quite think our plan worked, his attachment issues aren’t going away it seems”

“I do hope he behaved. The little bugger sometimes has a habit of scratching people when he doesn’t get his own way” Newt said back. His unreserved persona confused you, normally he only acted like this with you. Your presence remained unnoticed until..

“Ah Newt! It’s so good to see you! Huh and you’ve brought a girl! Awk isn’t she just a honey” a blonde dressed in a skimpy nightgown emerged from behind Tina.

“Sorry I didn’t see you there! You must be Y/N, Newt told us so much about you, I must say you two do make quite the cute couple” Tina said gesturing to your hand which was still locked in Newts larger one.

Automatically Newt retracted his hand from yours as though it where fire and exclaimed, “oh no, no we’re just friends”

To you his tone sounded offended, repulsed even. Was he so ashamed for someone to even consider you being together. What was so wrong with you? Where you not good enough for him? Of course you weren’t, all you have to do is compare yourself to Tina after all. You felt your stomach drop at this realisation and from the corner of your eye you saw Queenie shoot you a sympathetic glance. You’d completely forgotten that she could read minds.

“Come on sweetie”, she proclaimed stepping towards you, lifting your luggage,“you have to come on in dear so we can get acquainted! Jacobs made some delicious pastries for your arrival!”. Newt Tina and yourself followed her into the room. The apartment was very cosy and you feel as though the decor of the room really illustrates who Tina and Queenie are, as personal touches are added everywhere.

“Come, sit, sit, you must rest", she ushered you and Newt into the living room and demanded you sit down from your long travels at once. “Now, now Queenie we must celebrate Y/N and Newts arrival! Why don’t we go down to the Bling Pig for firewhiskey”. Tina proclaimed

“But the pastries” Queenie whined

“Oh Queenie, Jacob can whip up another fresh batch when he gets back home later. It’s not everyday that we have guests”

Before this conversation got any further you decided to interrupt, “sorry as lovely as that sounds I brought nothing too fancy with me”

“That’s not a problem honey, you can borrow one of mine” Qunnie smiled sweetly
Panicking you raked your mind for another excuse but instead she simply tutted you. “Now we’ll have none of that! I have this adorable little dress that I’m too big for but it would fit you perfectly, you look gorgeous” She rambled on as you were dragged towards her room.

I’m sure she will” Newt whispered under his breath

Something told you that this was going to be an eventful night.


Do not post series on any other websites without my permission

Who’s fingers are those?

My dear they are mine! You summoned me here now it’s tickling time!
So, where do we start, on this cold rainy morning, need to liven you up and stop you from yawning.

But sir I don’t get it, is this but a dream, you suddenly appeared but are real it would seem.

My dear girl you called me, more often than twice, is this you bedroom, it’s terribly nice!

Yes it is, I’m confused though, when did I call? I don’t think I did, from what I recall.

My dear all those times, when you were alone, your mind wandered into that tickling zone! You thought of those fingers, a feather, the brush, and all of the ways they could make your face blush!

When friends at school teased, and poked on your ribs, you secretly loved it, I’m not telling fibs!
On the beach in the summer, sand tickled your toes, and I got the message when you wrinkled your nose!

For years you’ve suppressed it, with feelings of shame, and so brings me here for some tickling games! The build up of feelings, the want and the needs, were all subtle hints like your tumblr feeds!

Oh my, so it’s my fault for hiding my kink, worried embarrassed about what people think. How did you get in, my door has been shut, I’m actually excited though there maybe a but…

Butts are for sitting and holding up pants, everyone has one from humans to ants! Unless that’s a hint you should probably shoosh, before I start with tickles all over your tush!

Now enough of this chitchat, you’ve waited so long, hop onto the bed, I sure hope that it’s strong.

For I’m going to tickle you all sorts of ways, you’ll be blushing and giggling for a couple of days!
Now where shall I start, this tickling treat, maybe a hairbrush for those pretty feet?
Then fingers on tummy then up under your arms, these wriggling fingers are like lucky charms! They’ll squiggle and wiggle and spider and scrape, let’s get you restrained, no chance of escape!

Oh gosh Mr Tickler, I’m so glad you came, all this time without tickles, has made me insane!
Those fingers are tickling, my face is bright red, a few minutes more and I think I’ll be dead….

So all of you out there, especially the Lees, take heed of this story, I’m asking you please.
Repressing your feelings, your wants and your kink, will send messages to Tickler and then make him think…

But it’s better to be ticked by someone you know, someone you care for with love you can show.
Being ashamed to feel different you don’t need to hide, it’s time to confess your true tickle side.

You’ll feel so much better just telling someone, and if that your partner it may bring some fun!
Relieved that it’s out there, you’ll feel positively fine, when that someone you care for says it’s now…. TICKLE TIME!

just avpd things: when you’re really excited that someone acknowledged or supported you!! but you’re embarrassed and ashamed about being sooo excited!!!!!!!! so under your giddiness you are sweating trying to tone it down,,,  literally you cant enjoy yourself without fucking loathing yourself as a direct result i cant fuckign beleive thise

masterblaster947  asked:

I'm bi and genderfulid. My fiance says she is ok with it but doesn't want to see me dressed as a female, shop for female clothing with me, or be seen in public with me dressed as a female. What do you think I should do?

She sounds like she doesn’t fully accept you or respect you and your identity. I would definitely talk to her and try and make her understand that she’s hurting you, and that she needs to accept you for all you are. You don’t deserve to be with someone who’s ashamed or embarrassed of you being yourself. There are plenty of people who will appreciate you as you are and won’t force you into a mold of something you’re not. 

- peach

tw genitalia

we need to be positive about every kind of genitalia. making fun of people with smaller penises is really not okay and is only reinforcing dangerous beliefs related to the concept of masculinity and the expectations of hyper-masculinity. it is not dismantling gender norms or promoting self love and acceptance & positive sexual relationships. to the people with small penises - you are wonderful and attractive and you can be with someone who will accept you and love you. you shouldn’t be ashamed - you are beautiful. someone worth being with wont make you feel uncomfortable or unvalued because of your appearance. it is not feminist to be making insults towards people with penises.  

You're Just A Beautiful Girl, With The Weight Of The World On Your Shoulders.. *Andy Biersack Fluff and Smut*

mrsbiersackpurdy Asked: Please can you write me a fluffy/smutty Andy Biersack one? Because I’m really struggling at the minute (selfharm/depression) and need something to take my mind off it. Fanch chu love xxxxxx


I decided to do this now because I know what it feels like to be in that place, so here is the best thing I could think of, sorry it’s not my best smut, but merp. Ps. Stay Strong, love, you can do it. I believe in you<3 I’m here if you need me, anytime, anyone. Anyone can message me if needed, I’m always here.


*Y/N’s POV*

I knew Andy would be mad if I cut right now, but all the things people tell me, I can’t help think that it’s true. I looked in the box where I kept it, and thought for a moment. Is it worth it…? I mean, I should be able to make my own decisions, but what if it hurt’s Andy more than anything? Ok, I just won’t tell him, or I’ll do it where he won’t find it. Yea. I’ll just do that….

I opened the box, and lifted up my sleeve. I was gonna do one cut for everything anyone’s ever told me for the day. It added up to about thirty.  I sighed, knowing that Andy would be home soon, and I would have to act like nothing was wrong. I went into the bathroom, locked the door, and looked myself in the mirror. “You deserve this…” I whispered, and the tears started falling down my face. I looked myself in the mirror, I cried even more. Looking at how broken I was, made me feel worse. What ever happened to the girl who didn’t have to force everything inside of her, just so she could fake a smile? What ever happened to the girl that didn’t have to worry about her makeup everyday? What ever happened to..Me…? I looked at the blade, my arm, and then the mirror. “I’m so sorry, Andy..” I whispered through my sobs, and dragged the blade across my arm a couple times.

I made it to fifteen before the front door opened and closed “Y/N, where are you” Andy’s voice boomed through the house. “One minute!” I yelled back, cleaning up the blood and hiding the blade again. I put on my jacket, and redid the makeup that was smeared all over my face. I walked out, and hugged Andy. “Hey babe” He smiled at me. I smiled back, and hugged him again, burying my face in his chest. “What’s wrong?” He looked me dead in the eye, causing me to look away. Think of something, Y/N, think. “I just missed you. You’ve been on tour for so long, I just missed you, that’s all.” I said in a innocent voice, trying to play it off. His hands travled down my arms, to my wrist, causing me to wince. “Roll up your sleeves, now” He demanded. I just looked at him, then the floor, ashamed that he knew I cut. When I didn’t roll them up, he did it and got down on his knees. He closed his eyes then kissed them. Every single one of them. I started crying, but not from being ashamed, but because someone actually cares.

“I love you so much, Y/N, I just don’t want to lose you. I love you too much to see you do this to yourself. You’re just a beautiful girl, with the weight of the world on your shoulders. You don’t deserve any of the shit your getting. You shouldn’t let the things people tell you get to you. Don’t let your mind win the fight, talk to me when you need it, ok?” He said in the most softest voice I’ve ever heard him use. I nodded, and he slowly leaned in. “I’m gonna show you you’re worth it” He whispered against my lips, and kissed me again. The kiss was soon heated, but not in a lust way, more in a passionate, “I love you” type of way. His hands soon found their way up my shirt, and he slid it over my head, then did the same with his clothes, as did I with my jeans. He unclasped my bra, and threw it on the ground. He kissed down from my neck to my left boob, sucking on it lightly, while massaging my right one. Then repeated the process with my right boob. He took off my panties, then slowly pushed into me. I moaned out at the feeling, and moved my hips, so I was meeting his thrusts. “Babe- I’m…I’m close!” I moaned out as I felt the familiar knot form in my stomach. “Me to, babe. Just let it go” We came at the same time, and we snuggled into the covers.

Andy wrapped his arms around me and pulled me closer to him. “Please don’t do it again. I love you too much to see you hurt. Please, just please, get rid of them?” “Yes. I promise” I said, smiled up at him, soon falling asleed to the peaceful sond and rhythm of his heartbeat.

And in that moment, I knew. I knew that someone loved me. That someone cared. That someone was there for me. That someone wanted me to stay alive. We didn’t just “Fuck” or “Have sex”.

What we just did. We made love…

dirty little secret | part two

 part one / part three

michael + reader

word count: 852

writing masterlist | request/ask/feedback

summary: michael is hell bent on keeping your relationship a secret from not only the fans but the boys and your best friend as well and you start to question the reason


I followed Scarlett to the boys’ dressing room and we sat on the counter, dangling our legs off it. “What’s up?” I asked her. She looked excited as hell.

“I’ve got a great idea.” She squealed excitedly.,

Narrowing my eyes at her, I had a strange suspicion I was not going to like whatever her idea was.

“Okay so Luke has this friend who’s super nice and he’s cute too and he just broke up with his girlfriend and I was thinking I could set you two up because you’re both a lot alike you love-”

“No.” I cut her off with a firm shake of my head before she could continue.

“But why? He’s such a great guy, I met him the other day and I think you’ll love him too, you just have to at least try to meet him!”

“No, Scar! Please stop trying to set me up with anyone! I’ll find someone when I want to.” Except I can’t bc I’m actually already in a super secret relationship that I can’t tell you about bc my super secret boyfriend is a mega star and doesn’t want me to tell anyone oh and he’s your boyfriend’s bandmate.

My best friend sighed, leaning against the mirror behind her. I could tell she was exhausted with trying to get me a boyfriend. I couldn’t blame her. Poor girl had tried 7 times already to fix me up with one of Luke’s friends but I’d turned her down every single time.

“I don’t see why you’re not even willing to try. It’s not like you’re seeing anyone right now, why not just give it a shot? I wanna be able to go on double dates with you and your boyfriend and Luke and be able to gush about how perfect they are and what sweet things they’ve done for us that day but you’re depriving me of that dream!” She said, pouting at me.

“I’m sorry, Scar. It’s not that I don’t appreciate what you’ve done, I really do, I just don’t really want a relationship right now. You can respect that, can’t you?” It killed me having to lie to my best friend. I knew that she would freak out if she ever caught me lying.

“Okay..” She agreed dejectedly.

There was a brief silence before I decided to speak up. I wanted to ask my best friend her thoughts without accidentally giving away too much. So I did what I did best. Come up with hypothetical situations. Hypothetically.

“Hey Scar, let’s say, hypothetically, there’s this girl who’s dating this guy who wants to keep their relationship a secret from all their friends and-”

She cut me off before I could continue. “Ew! I hate guys like that. Like hello? If you want to be in a relationship with someone it has got to be out in public for it to be real. I don’t mean like public-public but at least tell your closest friends so the girl doesn’t feel like she has to hide all the time.”

“But what if the guy has a really good reason?” I asked, only to get an eyeroll in return.

“Please, his ‘reason’ is more of an excuse. These guys are all ‘ooh look at me I’m too cool to be in love’ but they play it off like they’re trying to protect you or something, it’s complete and utter bullshit! And what girl would let her boyfriend do that?”

“A nice one!” I protested. “Maybe she just cares about being with her boyfriend and it doesn’t matter who knows as long as they love each other.” I suggested, but Scarlett wasn’t having any of it.

“If the guy really loved the girl, he would show her off. Not hide her like some dirty little secret. It’d be like he was ashamed of being associated with her or something and that’s just wrong. I say the girl should dump the guy, he’s not worth it. Find someone who isn’t ashamed of being with you and will treat you right.” She ended with a flourish, throwing her hands up in the air proudly at her last words.

I was speechless, lost in my own thoughts.

When she noticed I was in my own world, she dropped her hands. “What’s up with the story anyways? You actually know someone going through this or what?” She asked.

“What? No! No.. I was just.. thinking.” I told her, praying she wouldn’t catch on.

Thankfully, she dropped the subject and turned back to listing off a few guys she thought I would like.

That night, while the rest of the guys were back in their own rooms - Scarlett was in Luke’s and Calum, Ashton, Michael and I each had our own rooms.

i was supposed to be rooming with Scarlett but she usually went over to Luke’s to sleep at night so I was left with my own room most of the time.

Just before I got into bed, I heard a knock on my door. Walking towards it, I pulled it open to reveal Michael in his pyjamas.


a/n: if you guys like it, please tell me // if you guys want part three, tell me!

Preference 3: Someone from his family doesn't like you Pt. 2

Author’s Note: Hi lovelies! I just wanted to thank you for enjoying this preference, it truly means the world to me. Thank you for all the countless messages to continue on with this piece. Sorry it took so long to update! Sadly this is the finale to this pref, I hope it doesn’t disappoint!

Part 1:


“Stop! Lauren say one more word and you’re grounded” scolded Ann.

At this point, tears were threatening to fall and you ascended back to the bathroom and tried to hide any evidence of tears and the fact you overheard the conversation. After a few minutes, you took a deep breath and you decided it was time to rejoin the Irwin family. You descended down the stairs and met up with them in the living room. You rejoined the Irwin clan and sat next to Ashton. Ann picked up where you left off and continued to have a conversation with you, trying to get to know the girl who stole her son’s heart. Although you were immensely hurt by what Lauren had said, you wanted to enjoy what little time you had left with them. You started feeling a little better as you were laughing at all the embarrassing stories of younger Ash and the fun memories of his childhood all the way up to being with the band. Harry had taken a slight liking to you, while on the other hand, Lauren’s attitude hadn’t changed, she still was against giving you the time of day to get to know you and it was starting to bother you. It also seemed that Ann was just trying to be nice to you, she probably was thinking the same thing Laur was about you not being up to his standards and if you truly were in this relationship for all the right reasons. Ashton’s family meant everything to him. He always took into consideration his family’s opinion. And you knew that he was taking the whole visit and how his family had reacted to you to decide if he will in fact stay with you or break up with you. You knew what his decision was. He was going to break up with you. As much as you wanted to impress his family and show them that you did in fact cared for Ashton, they were a tough crowd to please. They were with him through all the drama with girls and stood by him and helped him back on his feet after failed relationships. They were tired of seeing him so heartbroken so they all stepped in. It was now 10 PM and you were beat. Ann offered you to spend the night at the house which you had politely declined. You wanted to go to your hotel and take a nice shower and call it a day, scratch that, you desperately wanted this trip to end. As just the thought of you leaving your boyfriend Ash angered and hurt you, you knew what had to happen. His family wasn’t pleased of the girl Ashton brought home and probably persuaded him in leaving you as you weren’t ‘the perfect girl’ they had imagined. Ashton offered to take you to the hotel, but you told him a cab was on its way. He gave you a confused look. Why were you acting like this? He brushed it off as you were just exhausted of the day’s events. When your cab pulled up, Ashton got up and walked you there. He handed your bag to the cab driver who then placed it in the trunk. He took you wrist and pulled you into a hug.

“I’m so happy you finally got to meet my family” he beamed.

This was it; it’s all over.

“Ashton, why are you really with me? Look, I know I don’t deserve you, you’re way too good for a girl like me. I overheard your family when I was in the bathroom. They don’t seem to like me, and don’t you dare try and lie to me. I heard everything. Your mom and Harry were just trying to be nice as I was a guest at your home but I know they don’t like me. I mean who would?” Tears were now falling nonstop. “I think it’s best that we end it now as it’s still early in our relationship before any real feelings develop. I know how much your family means to you and since they don’t approve of me and our relationship, this is my cue to go. Goodbye Ashton. I truly wish you the best in all you do. I know you’ll do amazing things with the band. I know your perfect girl is out there for you and I truly wish she treats you well, you deserve it. You deserve the world and I want to apologize to you for wasting 8 months of your time. I have to go now. I guess I’ll see you at the top, yeah?” Your makeup had been long smeared and messed up but you could care less now and your eyes were bloodshot and swollen. You entered the cab. As you started to go, you took one final look back and saw Ashton fall on his knees with his head in his hands.

“This is for the best” you whispered to yourself.


After they came back with the snacks, you all sat and devoured what they bought. They had an order of fries, a slice of pizza for you four and drinks. Your appetite was long gone by now. You wanted nothing more for this date to end. This was your worst nightmare. You hardly touched your pizza. You were trying to engage in conversation with Jack but what he had said behind your back was all that was playing in your mind. Celeste was truly a great girl, she engaged in conversation with you talking about anything and everything. It was because she saw you were a little down that she got to know you on a deeper level, as did you. This was your first and last time with her. What bothered you the most was the fact that Luke didn’t even try and defend you or your relationship. He kept quiet at the comment of you being less than Aleisha and how you’ll never amount to her. You knew he was going to leave you so why not beat him to it and be the one to end the relationship, I mean he’s not happy so why drag this further than it needs to be?

As the date ended, you arrived back at the Hemmings’ home. You all got down and you were greeted by a warm hug from Liz.

“ Oh sweetheart, it’s nice to see you again! Come on in! Make yourself at home. Ben just came from work and he’s been dying to meet you!” She smiles at you.

“Ben!!! She’s here!” Liz states excitedly.

He descended downstairs to the family room and greeted you.

“Hi, Y/N, it’s nice to finally meet you. Has Luke been treating you well? Or do I have to beat him up?” he asks.

“You are staying for dinner right?” Inquired Liz and Andy.

“Sorry Mr. and Mrs. Hemmings, but I am going to decline. I apologize. I should get going now.”

This immediately caught Luke’s attention. You have never seen someone whip their head so fast. You could’ve sworn you heard his neck pop or something.

Worry was sported on his face. He quickly rushed to your side and dragged you upstairs into his room.

“Babe, hey what’s wrong? I thought you were going to have dinner with all of us?”

Tears were now cascading down your cheeks, “no, Luke, I won’t be joining you guys. Look, I know Jack doesn’t like me but he didn’t have to say all those things especially when we were out bowling. Someone could’ve heard whether it was a worker, Celeste, or a fan. I heard all he said and he’s right. I am not special, you have all these utterly beautiful girls throwing themselves at you and you’re stuck seen with me. But you know what hurt the most? The fact that he insulted me but you didn’t say anything. You didn’t even defend me. So I’ll do us both a favor and leave. You don’t have to be ashamed being seen with someone like me. You were obviously thinking of Aleisha which was why you didn’t defend us, but it’s okay, I know you still love and care for her. Go get her. You deserve nothing else than her; you were insanely perfect with her. Bye Luke. Take Care.” and with that, you left the Hemmings’ family.

Luke chased after you and yelled for you to stop. He even asked his parents to tell you to stop. They couldn’t do that though. They heard the conversation and were beyond disappointed and embarrassed for their sons actions. They were in disbelief to hear that Jack had treated you the way he did and what he thought about you. They were more so disappointed at Luke for even considering leaving you and thinking of Aleisha although they knew they were both over, it was just puppy love while yours seemed real and very serious. For all to have it end like this aggravated them. Andy and Liz held Luke back, despite his protests and sent him back up his room.

You muttered your apology for them having to see this and they apologized for all Jack and Luke did. And with that, you got in a cab and made your way to the airport.


Calum did notice you left and was constantly texting you and calling you. You declined every call and let it go to voicemail. He sent you a million texts but you didn’t read them. He was worried about your safety and wanted to know your whereabouts as you left without saying goodbye. Countless thoughts ran through his mind. Were you hurt? Why aren’t you answering his call and texts? Did he say something or do something to upset you? Did his friends say something? He didn’t know why you left and he wasn’t going to stop until he knew what was up.

You settled into your hotel room and forced yourself to sleep. You awoke the next morning with a slight hangover and a million texts and missed calls as well as voicemails. You then logged into your Twitter account and saw many notifications of the fans going crazy about your whereabouts. Cal had tweeted about you and the fans wanted to know what was going on and tried to help him find you.

@Calum5SOS: @YourTwitterName babe, I’m worried. Are you okay? Please let me know that you’re safe. I love you.

The fandom was going insane! They wanted to make it their mission in finding you to put Cal at ease. You avoided all contact with social media and stayed in your room all day.

It has now been 2 days since Calum has last seen you and heard from you. He hadn’t gotten any sleep and was desperate to find you. He had the help of the boys, his friends and the fandom in trying to locate you. What surprised you the most was Mali texted you.

Mali: Y/N, I know you probably don’t want to hear from me because of Cal’s birthday, but please, talk to him. Let him know that you’re okay if you are and if you aren’t let him know. He’s been driving himself off the wall, he’s so worried about you. I hope you’re okay.

You read and reread the text again. Why is she texting you? She made it clear as day that she absolutely despised you and here she was texting you hoping you were okay and whatnot. Like no! You are not okay! You are heartbroken and hurt and lonely. You decided that the next time Cal called or texted you, you were going to tell him you were in a safe place and that you were okay.

As if it was coincidental, Calum texted you again. You took a deep breath and decided to text him.

Cal🐶❤️: Babe, please, I’m begging you. Just send me a sign so that I know that you are safe. I won’t be able to live with myself knowing that you’re hurt and I’m not there to protect you. Baby please send me something, a letter or hell even a punctuation mark, something to let me know that you’re okay.

So you quickly texted him: Cal, I’m ok. I swear on my life I’m okay, I’m at a safe place. But Calum, I can’t do this, this relationship that is. It’s not you, I swear on my life it’s not you. People are constantly judging you being with me and people don’t approve of our relationship, one of them being your sister. I know how much she means to you and I respect that. I respect that she’s looking out for you and wants nothing but the best for you and she thinks us being together is toxic. I guess I’ll see you Cal. Take care of yourself please and do not blame this on Mali. It’s not her fault, she’s doing this out of love and protection. Love you, Y/N. And with that, you pressed send.

He saw your text, he read and reread it over and over again. You were okay which was great, but you guys aren’t together anymore. What did he do what can he say to prove otherwise that he loves you and doesn’t give a shit about what people think.

He then tweeted again.

@Calum5SOS: why? Can this be some bad dream? I wanna wake up out of this nightmare. Please talk to me, screw what others think, screw what she thinks of you. I know you and I know you love me, she could say her two cents but nothing will change how I feel about you and that will never ever change. I’m so hollow babe. Please I’ll do anything, I won’t talk to her and have a relationship with her if that’s what it takes.

You saw the tweet, hell, everyone saw it. You texted him again and told him not to break his relationship with his sister. Girls come and go but Mali will always be there for him. She knows what’s best for him. You made him promise that he will still maintain that relationship with Mali and she’ll help him find his perfect girl. He replied back to you asking to see you. You didn’t want to see him as much as it destroyed your heart. And with that you went on Twitter, you tweeted that you were okay and told the fam not to worry. And you left. You picked up your things from the floor and quickly did your makeup to hide proof that you were crying and wore your sunglasses and you headed out the hotel. You were going back home to your family, they know what to do and they’d tell you if you made the right decision or not.


You checked yourself into a motel for the night. And your assumptions were right, Mike went to the ends of Sydney on trying to find you. He was beyond upset with his mother and told her off. He defended you when you left and told her how much he loves you. How you were not like Abigail and how you made him incredibly and indescribably happy. He was deeply infatuated and utterly in love with you. Daryl saw how happy you had made his son and was disappointed in how Karen went about this situation. He understood that she was only doing this to protect him but it drove you away. Her intentions were good but her actions were unjustifiable. It was uncalled for and she knew it. She made a huge scene to draw attention to you and kicked you out of lunch.

Mike was continuously calling you. Leaving a thousand and one voicemails and texts along the way. He waited by your house till you came back. He’ll wait there even if the world ended. He wanted to see you. He NEEDED to see you.

It has been four days since your encounter with Karen and you were still at the motel. Sadly, you didn’t have that much money left in your account so you had to go back to your place. So you got your things and left for home. As soon as you got home, you saw Mikey asleep by your front door.

As much as you wanted to go in from another entrance and wanted to avoid him, it was inevitable. You had to face him at some point. So you toughened up and went to your door. He saw you in front of him and he quickly shot up and hugged you.

“Love, you’re okay! Thank God! Baby I was so worried about you. Love please don’t listen to my mom, I don’t care about what she says and how she feels about you, about us. This is our relationship, not hers. She may be my mom and wants nothing but the best for me and baby you’re it. Forever and always. Love, let me love continuously. I know you’re nothing compared to Abigail, you’ll never know how happy I am being with you. Abigail brought nothing but pain and you bring me utter joy. Please don’t let this ruin what we have, I love you so so much baby girl, always and forever.” He stated while full out bawling, and Michael NEVER cries.

It truly broke your heart. This was the first time he had ever expressed such feelings for you but it was just too late. You’ve made your decision, you and Michael weren’t going to be forever. Nothing lasts forever.

“I’m sorry Mike, but your mom is right. Granted how she went about the situation wasn’t right but she’s your mother and she knows what’s best for you. And if that means me not being with you then so be it. The journey was fun while it lasted and I don’t regret a thing. You have brought me so much joy but I don’t want you to despise your mom, you are her only baby and she wants nothing but the best for you, I’m sorry I’m not that. I love you forever and always Mike but you have to let me go. Find your perfect girl that your mom and dad will approve of. I love you, take care okay? I guess I’ll see you around. Love you Mikey.” You stated as you tip-toed and planted a kiss on his cheek. With that, you entered your dorm and started to bawl your eyes out. You wanted to get out of your dorm room, but you had no other place to go and you didn’t have the funds for you to get an apartment of your own so you had to work overtime to raise enough money to support yourself. Outside your door, you heard Mike begging for you to stay but after a while it went quiet and you knew he had left. He had left your life forever.

Fat shaming doesn't exist

The only reason someone could “shame” you for being fat is because you’re already ashamed of yourself, and your own weight. If someone tried to shame a healthy person for their weight it would be hilarious, because they have nothing to be ashamed of. Fat shame comes from within because you are already ashamed of being fat.

anonymous asked:

I was wondering if a feminist is allowed to have a sugar daddy or to want one. I'm a feminist and one day I said I wanted a sugar daddy to buy me stuff but my friend told me that if I'm a feminist I'm not allowed to say that. He then went off in a tangent calling me a fake feminist and that I should be ashamed of myself. Is that true?

Being with someone who buys you things or being in some sort of arrangement where you are being given gifts etc doesn’t mean you don’t hold feminist values. You can demand respect, equal pay and representation in the work place, for sexual assault cases to be better handled, for better access to women’s reproductive health services, etc etc etc

having a sugar daddy doesn’t void those kind of things

accepting gifts from men does not mean you’re not independent, it means you’re gettin gifts and nice treatment from a man and that’s fine, work that shit and take what is yours

maybe your friend’s a lil insecure he can’t give a woman nice shit lmao

anonymous asked:

do you have strech marks on your body? if so,. how do they make you feel? i have them all over and they make me hate myself and my body so much.

I have them mostly on my stomach, a few on my boobs and one on my arms. The only time I get super insecure about them is when my shirt flys up or when I’m being intimate with someone but honestly you shouldn’t be ashamed of them. They’re kinda like free zebra striped tattoos or little lightning bolts. Stretch marks mean that your body is growing. They’re not always from being overweight. I have friends that are size zeros and have stretchmarks because their body grew faster than it could handle. They’re a lot more common than you probably think and the more I start to love my body, the less they bother me.