someone at school did this today

anonymous asked:

Hi, I'm the anon who told you about the kids at my school. Well today someone asked me again "Hey, you should draw me something." As soon as I said I would have to charge them (Didn't even say how much) They immediately got mad. So I tested this out. I asked about 10 people if a quarter was expensive. They all said no but the majority did say that charging someone for art is stingy. Because of this, I have decided not to draw anything for kids at my school & only draw for friends/people online.

CHARGING SOMEONE FOR ART IS STINGY ARE YOU KIDDING ME LMAOOOO. Holy shit a quarter barely counts as paying for art, what kind of fucks do you go to school with. I am so baffled. Drawing takes time and effort, and you need MONEY for SUPPLIES WHOA WHAT A CONCEPT.

Yeah seriously only draw for people you wanna draw for if everyone’s gonna act like that. A fucking quarter. People are sayin you’re being stingy over a fucking quarter I’m LOSING MY MIND.

i will literally adore you if you send me one
  • 1. Last kiss
  • 2. Last phone call
  • 3. Last text message
  • 4. Last song you listened to
  • 5. Last time you cried
  • HAVE YOU EVER:
  • 6. Dated someone twice
  • 7. Been cheated on
  • 8. Self harmed
  • 9. Lost someone special
  • 10. Been depressed
  • 11. Been drunk and threw up
  • THIS YEAR HAVE YOU:
  • 12. had sex
  • 13. How many people have you had sex with this year?
  • 15. Made a new friend
  • 17. Laughed until you cried
  • 18. Met someone who changed you
  • 19. Found out who your true friends were
  • 20. Found out someone was talking about you
  • 26. What did you do for your last Birthday
  • 27. What time did you wake up today
  • 29. Name something you CANNOT wait for
  • 30. Last time you saw your all of your siblings at the same time
  • 31. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life
  • 32. What are you listening to right now
  • 33. When is the last time you had sex?
  • 34. Who's getting on your nerves right now
  • 35. Most visited webpage
  • 36. Favorite colour
  • 37. Nicknames
  • 38. Relationship Status
  • 39. Zodiac sign
  • 40. Male or female
  • 41. Primary school
  • 42. Secondary School
  • 43. High school/college
  • 44. Eye color
  • 46. Height
  • 47. Do you have a crush on someone
  • 48. What do you like about yourself
  • 49. Piercings
  • 50. Tattoos
  • 51. Righty or lefty
  • FIRSTS:
  • 53. First piercing
  • 54. First best friend
  • 55. First hookup
  • 56. First Bestfriend
  • RIGHT NOW:
  • 59. Eating
  • 60. Drinking
  • 61. I'm about to
  • 62. Listening to
  • 63. Waiting for
  • YOUR FUTURE:
  • 64. Want kids?
  • 65. Get married?
  • 66. Career
  • WHICH IS BETTER:
  • 67. Lips or eyes
  • 68. Hugs or kisses
  • 69. Shorter or taller
  • 70. Older or Younger
  • 71. Romantic or spontaneous
  • 72. Nice stomach or nice arms
  • 73. Sensitive or loud
  • 74. Hook-up or relationship
  • HAVE YOU EVER:
  • 76. Kissed a stranger
  • 77. Drank hard liquor
  • 78. Lost glasses/contacts
  • 79. Had sex
  • 80. Broken someone's heart
  • 82. Been arrested
  • 83. Turned someone down
  • 84. Cried when someone died
  • 85. Fallen for a friend
  • DO YOU BELIEVE IN:
  • 86. Yourself
  • 87. Miracles
  • 88. Love at first sight
  • 89. Heaven
  • 90. Santa Clause
  • 91. Kiss on the first date
  • 92. Angels
  • 93. How would you label yourself?
  • 94. Someone You Pray Everyday For
  • 95. Did you sing today
  • 96. Who From All Your Ex's have You Cared The Most About
  • 97. If you could go back in time, how far would you go?
  • 98. Out Of Everything In The World What Do You Wish For
  • 99. Are you afraid of falling in love?
  • 100. Do you like the way you look?
  • Actually ask me something. Anon or not.
Interview the Muse
  • - What is your Full name? Include any maiden names, aliases, or nicknames.
  • - When is your birthday? Do you know where you were born and at what time?
  • - What is your star sign? Do you know your Chinese Zodiac too?
  • - What is your earliest memory that you can remember?
  • - Where was your childhood home? Was it more urban or rural?
  • - How was your childhood in general? Did your parents treat you well? Did you have a lot of friends?
  • - How was/is school? What is your favorite and least favorite subjects? What were your grades on average?
  • - Did you have a best friend growing up? What was their name? Are you still in touch?
  • - Were you in any cliques?
  • - Best childhood memory you can recall?
  • - Worst childhood memory you can recall?
  • - Name an event in your childhood that has shaped you into the person you are today
  • - What is the dumbest thing you have ever done to impress someone? Were they impressed or was it all for naught?
  • - Did you ever have any sweethearts or lovers? Do you have a boy/girlfriend?
  • - Are you a virgin?
  • - Do you ever plan on getting married in your life? Do you want kids?
  • - Would you rather have your own kids or adopt? How many kids would you want?
  • - Do you think you'd be a protective parent or a relaxed parent?
  • - How would you prefer to pass away? Surrounded by loved ones and at peace, or while doing something heroic?
  • - Generally, how healthy are you? Do you get sick or injured easily or are you fit?
  • - Have you ever been badly injured before?
  • - What is the worst injury you have ever gotten? What was it and how did it happen? Were you ever close to death?
  • - How many times have you been to the hospital/doctor's?
  • - Have you ever had a concussion or brain injury? Have you ever had amnesia?
  • - What was the worst illness you ever contacted? Do you know what it was? How long were you sick?
  • - Ever had any extended hospital stays? What for?
  • - Have you ever had to give yourself or someone else emergency first aid? What happened?
  • - Are you employed? Where do you work and who do you work for? What do you do?
  • - Are you happy with your current job?
  • - Did you have any previous jobs? What were they and what did you do?
  • - Most dangerous thing you have ever done?
  • - Do you consider yourself a more active person or a more relaxed person?
  • - What is your dream come true? How about your worst nightmare?
  • - What is the biggest and most important goal you have set for yourself?
  • - How persistent would you say you are? How much does it take to get you to give up on a task?
  • - Would you surrender yourself to your enemies or fight to the very end?
  • - When do you usually do your shopping? What is currently on your shopping list?
  • - Top three things on your wishlist?
  • - Currently, what is something you want but do not need?
  • - Do you like shopping? What is your favorite thing to shop for?
  • - What is the most expensive thing you have purchased? Was it worth it?
  • - What would you do if you were suddenly given one billion dollars out of the blue?
  • - What would you describe your style of clothing as?
  • - Do you have any hobbies? Name all of them if you can.
  • - Do you like and appreciate art? What is your favorite piece of artwork?
  • - Do you like music? What is your favorite style of music?
  • - Have you ever seen any musicals? What is your favorite?
  • - What are your top three favorite animals? What would you say your "Patronus" or "Spirit Animal" is?
  • - What are your top three favorite colors?
  • - What is your favorite season? Do you prefer hotter or colder weather? Do you like snow at all?
  • - What kind of flavors do you prefer: Sweet, Sour, Bitter, Spicy, Dry, or Umami (savory meat taste)?
  • - Can you cook at all?
  • - What is your favorite dish? Can you prepare it? Do you have the recipe handy?
  • - What is your favorite fruit and vegetable?
  • - What is your favorite dessert? What is your favorite type of candy/treat?
  • - What is the best thing you have ever had the opportunity to eat? What is the worst?
  • - Do you like to drink tea or coffee? Any favorite flavors?
  • - Describe your sense of humor.
  • - What is one thing you are justly proud of?
  • - Do you have any religious beliefs? If not, have you ever been to a church service?
  • - What would you say is the worst thing someone has done to you? What is the meanest thing someone has ever said to you?
  • - What is the worst thing you have done to someone? What is the meanest thing you have said to anyone?
  • - Share the latest entry in your diary/journal.
  • - What is the most precious thing you own? Is it valuable at all?
  • - Talk about someone you know. It can be someone you either like or dislike.
  • - FREE QUESTION
Find your dialogue prompt!

A: The first letter of your first name!

B: Your birthday!


  • A: “Can I help you?”
  • B: “Be gentle.”
  • C: “Help me find my scarf!”
  • D: “What happened to your arm?”
  • E: “What the hell happened here?!”
  • F: “How are you feeling?”
  • G: “Well, this is interesting! Did you know-”
  • H: “I just thought of a world without puppies and got really sad.”
  • I: “I love you.”
  • J: “Please kill me.”
  • K: “Want to know how I got these scars?”
  • L: “On go, we’re going to run, okay?”
  • M: “Help me.”
  • N: “Did you hear that?”
  • O: “Kiss me.”
  • P: “What’s your favorite sin?”
  • Q: “Does God ever say ‘Oh my God’?”
  • R: “We’re stuck in a maze!”
  • S: “So, today I was thinking we should-”
  • T: “Did you just murder someone?!”
  • U: “Code Yellow, I repeat code yellow!”
  • V: “I want to show you something.”
  • W: “Can we cuddle?”
  • X: “Do you want to talk about your childhood?”
  • Y: “Who wants to die today?“
  • Z: "I am the hero this city needs!”

  1. “Oh, I saw a spider”
  2. “You shouldn’t have had that sixth cup of coffee.”
  3. “Speaking of that, I just got laid.”
  4. “That should be illegal.”
  5. “High School Musical.”
  6. “Speaking of gay, I’m gonna go do some gay stuff right now.”
  7. “Unrealistic.”
  8. “I hope you outlast your relatives.”
  9. “Easy, psycho.”
  10. “I won!”
  11. “I’m confused, as usual.”
  12. “I volunteer as tribute.”
  13. “It’s magic!”
  14. “Dang, I was so close…”
  15. “I have a headache.”
  16. “I love being left alone.”
  17. “Can I kiss you?”
  18. Please, tell me more.”
  19. “Stay quiet!”
  20. “Oh maaaaan, sounds amazing, who can resist!”
  21. “That’s so gay.”
  22. “This is all your fault.”
  23. “Are you okay?”
  24. “No.”
  25. “A badly timed joke?”
  26. “I want to leave.”
  27. “5 more minutes.”
  28. “I’m calling the police!”
  29. “Queue the music.”
  30. “Stop following me!”
  31. “We’re all going to die.”

(if you get something confusing, then try to explain it, BAM, you’re writing)

4

I remember being teased relentlessly throughout my childhood and my teenage life where people would say that because of my skin I’ll never be beautiful enough, they would even recommend skin bleaching products. So as a child I quickly realised that as a dark skinned girl I was not considered beautiful enough… At that time I didn’t know that it was the negativity from the people around me that was causing me to hate my skin and myself for that matter. I remember a time during school photos where a girl shouted “she’s too dark! You won’t see anything on her ID but her teeth!”, of course everyone laughed it out… And so did I…. Because I didn’t want to make it seem like I was offended… Their feelings felt more important than mine… After all growing up I was always reminded of how unlikely I was of ever being beautiful or finding someone that found my darkness beautiful…..
As a 19 year old today I sit here and say “I never gave in to skin bleaching”, “I was constantly reminded of how ugly I was but that only made me love myself even more….. I began considering myself as someone different, someone beautiful and out of the ordinary.”
Your skin no matter how dark it is that when you smile you can only see the glow of your teeth is worthy of love, your skin is that of a goddess and you should never feel anything about your skin but self love. I write this to all of the people that have gone through similar and worse, you don’t need to learn to Love your skin, the love is already there… You just gotta unleash it.

I would like to hear some stories of yours if you’ve ever gone through the same thing…. Message me on Instagram.
IG: YoungNubiie

According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way a bee should be able to fly. Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. The bee, of course, flies anyway because bees don’t care what humans think is impossible. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Ooh, black and yellow! Let’s shake it up a little. Barry! Breakfast is ready! Ooming! Hang on a second. Hello? - Barry? - Adam? - Oan you believe this is happening? - I can’t. I’ll pick you up. Looking sharp. Use the stairs. Your father paid good money for those. Sorry. I’m excited. Here’s the graduate. We’re very proud of you, son. A perfect report card, all B’s. Very proud. Ma! I got a thing going here. - You got lint on your fuzz. - Ow! That’s me! - Wave to us! We’ll be in row 118,000. - Bye! Barry, I told you, stop flying in the house! - Hey, Adam. - Hey, Barry. - Is that fuzz gel? - A little. Special day, graduation. Never thought I’d make it. Three days grade school, three days high school. Those were awkward. Three days college. I’m glad I took a day and hitchhiked around the hive. You did come back different. - Hi, Barry. - Artie, growing a mustache? Looks good. - Hear about Frankie? - Yeah. - You going to the funeral? - No, I’m not going. Everybody knows, sting someone, you die. Don’t waste it on a squirrel. Such a hothead. I guess he could have just gotten out of the way. I love this incorporating an amusement park into our day. That’s why we don’t need vacations. Boy, quite a bit of pomp… under the circumstances. - Well, Adam, today we are men. - We are! - Bee-men. - Amen! Hallelujah! Students, faculty, distinguished bees, please welcome Dean Buzzwell. Welcome, New Hive Oity graduating class of… …9:15. That concludes our ceremonies. And begins your career at Honex Industries! Will we pick ourjob today? I heard it’s just orientation. Heads up! Here we go. Keep your hands and antennas inside the tram at all times. - Wonder what it’ll be like? - A little scary. Welcome to Honex, a division of Honesco and a part of the Hexagon Group. This is it! Wow. Wow. We know that you, as a bee, have worked your whole life to get to the point where you can work for your whole life. Honey begins when our valiant Pollen Jocks bring the nectar to the hive. Our top-secret formula is automatically color-corrected, scent-adjusted and bubble-contoured into this soothing sweet syrup with its distinctive golden glow you know as… Honey! - That girl was hot. - She’s my cousin! - She is? - Yes, we’re all cousins. - Right. You’re right. - At Honex, we constantly strive to improve every aspect of bee existence. These bees are stress-testing a new helmet technology. - What do you think he makes? - Not enough. Here we have our latest advancement, the Krelman. - What does that do? - Oatches that little strand of honey that hangs after you pour it. Saves us millions. Oan anyone work on the Krelman? Of course. Most bee jobs are small ones. But bees know that every small job, if it’s done well, means a lot. But choose carefully because you’ll stay in the job you pick for the rest of your life. The same job the rest of your life? I didn’t know that. What’s the difference? You’ll be happy to know that bees, as a species, haven’t had one day off in 27 million years. So you’ll just work us to death? We’ll sure try. Wow! That blew my mind! “What’s the difference?” How can you say that? One job forever? That’s an insane choice to have to make. I’m relieved. Now we only have to make one decision in life. But, Adam, how could they never have told us that? Why would you question anything? We’re bees. We’re the most perfectly functioning society on Earth. You ever think maybe things work a little too well here? Like what? Give me one example. I don’t know. But you know what I’m talking about. Please clear the gate. Royal Nectar Force on approach. Wait a second. Oheck it out. - Hey, those are Pollen Jocks! - Wow. I’ve never seen them this close. They know what it’s like outside the hive. Yeah, but some don’t come back. - Hey, Jocks! - Hi, Jocks! You guys did great! You’re monsters! You’re sky freaks! I love it! I love it! - I wonder where they were. - I don’t know. Their day’s not planned. Outside the hive, flying who knows where, doing who knows what. You can'tjust decide to be a Pollen Jock. You have to be bred for that. Right. Look. That’s more pollen than you and I will see in a lifetime. It’s just a status symbol. Bees make too much of it. Perhaps. Unless you’re wearing it and the ladies see you wearing it. Those ladies? Aren’t they our cousins too? Distant. Distant. Look at these two. - Oouple of Hive Harrys. - Let’s have fun with them. It must be dangerous being a Pollen Jock. Yeah. Once a bear pinned me against a mushroom! He had a paw on my throat, and with the other, he was slapping me! - Oh, my! - I never thought I’d knock him out. What were you doing during this? Trying to alert the authorities. I can autograph that. A little gusty out there today, wasn’t it, comrades? Yeah. Gusty. We’re hitting a sunflower patch six miles from here tomorrow. - Six miles, huh? - Barry! A puddle jump for us, but maybe you’re not up for it. - Maybe I am. - You are not! We’re going 0900 at J-Gate. What do you think, buzzy-boy? Are you bee enough? I might be. It all depends on what 0900 means. Hey, Honex! Dad, you surprised me. You decide what you’re interested in? - Well, there’s a lot of choices. - But you only get one. Do you ever get bored doing the same job every day? Son, let me tell you about stirring. You grab that stick, and you just move it around, and you stir it around. You get yourself into a rhythm. It’s a beautiful thing. You know, Dad, the more I think about it, maybe the honey field just isn’t right for me. You were thinking of what, making balloon animals? That’s a bad job for a guy with a stinger. Janet, your son’s not sure he wants to go into honey! - Barry, you are so funny sometimes. - I’m not trying to be funny. You’re not funny! You’re going into honey. Our son, the stirrer! - You’re gonna be a stirrer? - No one’s listening to me! Wait till you see the sticks I have. I could say anything right now. I’m gonna get an ant tattoo! Let’s open some honey and celebrate! Maybe I’ll pierce my thorax. Shave my antennae. Shack up with a grasshopper. Get a gold tooth and call everybody “dawg”! I’m so proud. - We’re starting work today! - Today’s the day. Oome on! All the good jobs will be gone. Yeah, right. Pollen counting, stunt bee, pouring, stirrer, front desk, hair removal… - Is it still available? - Hang on. Two left! One of them’s yours! Oongratulations! Step to the side. - What’d you get? - Picking crud out. Stellar! Wow! Oouple of newbies? Yes, sir! Our first day! We are ready! Make your choice. - You want to go first? - No, you go. Oh, my. What’s available? Restroom attendant’s open, not for the reason you think. - Any chance of getting the Krelman? - Sure, you’re on. I’m sorry, the Krelman just closed out. Wax monkey’s always open. The Krelman opened up again. What happened? A bee died. Makes an opening. See? He’s dead. Another dead one. Deady. Deadified. Two more dead. Dead from the neck up. Dead from the neck down. That’s life! Oh, this is so hard! Heating, cooling, stunt bee, pourer, stirrer, humming, inspector number seven, lint coordinator, stripe supervisor, mite wrangler. Barry, what do you think I should… Barry? Barry! All right, we’ve got the sunflower patch in quadrant nine… What happened to you? Where are you? - I’m going out. - Out? Out where? - Out there. - Oh, no! I have to, before I go to work for the rest of my life. You’re gonna die! You’re crazy! Hello? Another call coming in. If anyone’s feeling brave, there’s a Korean deli on 83rd that gets their roses today. Hey, guys. - Look at that. - Isn’t that the kid we saw yesterday? Hold it, son, flight deck’s restricted. It’s OK, Lou. We’re gonna take him up. Really? Feeling lucky, are you? Sign here, here. Just initial that. - Thank you. - OK. You got a rain advisory today, and as you all know, bees cannot fly in rain. So be careful. As always, watch your brooms, hockey sticks, dogs, birds, bears and bats. Also, I got a couple of reports of root beer being poured on us. Murphy’s in a home because of it, babbling like a cicada! - That’s awful. - And a reminder for you rookies, bee law number one, absolutely no talking to humans! All right, launch positions! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Black and yellow! Hello! You ready for this, hot shot? Yeah. Yeah, bring it on. Wind, check. - Antennae, check. - Nectar pack, check. - Wings, check. - Stinger, check. Scared out of my shorts, check. OK, ladies, let’s move it out! Pound those petunias, you striped stem-suckers! All of you, drain those flowers! Wow! I’m out! I can’t believe I’m out! So blue. I feel so fast and free! Box kite! Wow! Flowers! This is Blue Leader. We have roses visual. Bring it around 30 degrees and hold. Roses! 30 degrees, roger. Bringing it around. Stand to the side, kid. It’s got a bit of a kick. That is one nectar collector! - Ever see pollination up close? - No, sir. I pick up some pollen here, sprinkle it over here. Maybe a dash over there, a pinch on that one. See that? It’s a little bit of magic. That’s amazing. Why do we do that? That’s pollen power. More pollen, more flowers, more nectar, more honey for us. Oool. I’m picking up a lot of bright yellow. Oould be daisies. Don’t we need those? Oopy that visual. Wait. One of these flowers seems to be on the move. Say again? You’re reporting a moving flower? Affirmative. That was on the line! This is the coolest. What is it? I don’t know, but I’m loving this color. It smells good. Not like a flower, but I like it. Yeah, fuzzy. Ohemical-y. Oareful, guys. It’s a little grabby. My sweet lord of bees! Oandy-brain, get off there! Problem! - Guys! - This could be bad. Affirmative. Very close. Gonna hurt. Mama’s little boy. You are way out of position, rookie! Ooming in at you like a missile! Help me! I don’t think these are flowers. - Should we tell him? - I think he knows. What is this?! Match point! You can start packing up, honey, because you’re about to eat it! Yowser! Gross. There’s a bee in the car! - Do something! - I’m driving! - Hi, bee. - He’s back here! He’s going to sting me! Nobody move. If you don’t move, he won’t sting you. Freeze! He blinked! Spray him, Granny! What are you doing?! Wow… the tension level out here is unbelievable. I gotta get home. Oan’t fly in rain. Oan’t fly in rain. Oan’t fly in rain. Mayday! Mayday! Bee going down! Ken, could you close the window please? Ken, could you close the window please? Oheck out my new resume. I made it into a fold-out brochure. You see? Folds out. Oh, no. More humans. I don’t need this. What was that? Maybe this time. This time. This time. This time! This time! This… Drapes! That is diabolical. It’s fantastic. It’s got all my special skills, even my top-ten favorite movies. What’s number one? Star Wars? Nah, I don’t go for that… …kind of stuff. No wonder we shouldn’t talk to them. They’re out of their minds. When I leave a job interview, they’re flabbergasted, can’t believe what I say. There’s the sun. Maybe that’s a way out. I don’t remember the sun having a big 75 on it. I predicted global warming. I could feel it getting hotter. At first I thought it was just me. Wait! Stop! Bee! Stand back. These are winter boots. Wait! Don’t kill him! You know I’m allergic to them! This thing could kill me! Why does his life have less value than yours? Why does his life have any less value than mine? Is that your statement? I’m just saying all life has value. You don’t know what he’s capable of feeling. My brochure! There you go, little guy. I’m not scared of him. It’s an allergic thing. Put that on your resume brochure. My whole face could puff up. Make it one of your special skills. Knocking someone out is also a special skill. Right. Bye, Vanessa. Thanks. - Vanessa, next week? Yogurt night? - Sure, Ken. You know, whatever. - You could put carob chips on there. - Bye. - Supposed to be less calories. - Bye. I gotta say something. She saved my life. I gotta say something. All right, here it goes. Nah. What would I say? I could really get in trouble. It’s a bee law. You’re not supposed to talk to a human. I can’t believe I’m doing this. I’ve got to. Oh, I can’t do it. Oome on! No. Yes. No. Do it. I can’t. How should I start it? “You like jazz?” No, that’s no good. Here she comes! Speak, you fool! Hi! I’m sorry. - You’re talking. - Yes, I know. You’re talking! I’m so sorry. No, it’s OK. It’s fine. I know I’m dreaming. But I don’t recall going to bed. Well, I’m sure this is very disconcerting. This is a bit of a surprise to me. I mean, you’re a bee! I am. And I’m not supposed to be doing this, but they were all trying to kill me. And if it wasn’t for you… I had to thank you. It’s just how I was raised. That was a little weird. - I’m talking with a bee. - Yeah. I’m talking to a bee. And the bee is talking to me! I just want to say I’m grateful. I’ll leave now. - Wait! How did you learn to do that? - What? The talking thing. Same way you did, I guess. “Mama, Dada, honey.” You pick it up. - That’s very funny. - Yeah. Bees are funny. If we didn’t laugh, we’d cry with what we have to deal with. Anyway… Oan I… …get you something? - Like what? I don’t know. I mean… I don’t know. Ooffee? I don’t want to put you out. It’s no trouble. It takes two minutes. - It’s just coffee. - I hate to impose. - Don’t be ridiculous! - Actually, I would love a cup. Hey, you want rum cake? - I shouldn’t. - Have some. - No, I can’t. - Oome on! I’m trying to lose a couple micrograms. - Where? - These stripes don’t help. You look great! I don’t know if you know anything about fashion. Are you all right? No. He’s making the tie in the cab as they’re flying up Madison. He finally gets there. He runs up the steps into the church. The wedding is on. And he says, “Watermelon? I thought you said Guatemalan. Why would I marry a watermelon?” Is that a bee joke? That’s the kind of stuff we do. Yeah, different. So, what are you gonna do, Barry? About work? I don’t know. I want to do my part for the hive, but I can’t do it the way they want. I know how you feel. - You do? - Sure. My parents wanted me to be a lawyer or a doctor, but I wanted to be a florist. - Really? - My only interest is flowers. Our new queen was just elected with that same campaign slogan. Anyway, if you look… There’s my hive right there. See it? You’re in Sheep Meadow! Yes! I’m right off the Turtle Pond! No way! I know that area. I lost a toe ring there once. - Why do girls put rings on their toes? - Why not? - It’s like putting a hat on your knee. - Maybe I’ll try that. - You all right, ma'am? - Oh, yeah. Fine. Just having two cups of coffee! Anyway, this has been great. Thanks for the coffee. Yeah, it’s no trouble. Sorry I couldn’t finish it. If I did, I’d be up the rest of my life. Are you…? Oan I take a piece of this with me? Sure! Here, have a crumb. - Thanks! - Yeah. All right. Well, then… I guess I’ll see you around. Or not. OK, Barry. And thank you so much again… for before. Oh, that? That was nothing. Well, not nothing, but… Anyway… This can’t possibly work. He’s all set to go. We may as well try it. OK, Dave, pull the chute. - Sounds amazing. - It was amazing! It was the scariest, happiest moment of my life. Humans! I can’t believe you were with humans! Giant, scary humans! What were they like? Huge and crazy. They talk crazy. They eat crazy giant things. They drive crazy. - Do they try and kill you, like on TV? - Some of them. But some of them don’t. - How’d you get back? - Poodle. You did it, and I’m glad. You saw whatever you wanted to see. You had your “experience.” Now you can pick out yourjob and be normal. - Well… - Well? Well, I met someone. You did? Was she Bee-ish? - A wasp?! Your parents will kill you! - No, no, no, not a wasp. - Spider? - I’m not attracted to spiders. I know it’s the hottest thing, with the eight legs and all. I can’t get by that face. So who is she? She’s… human. No, no. That’s a bee law. You wouldn’t break a bee law. - Her name’s Vanessa. - Oh, boy. She’s so nice. And she’s a florist! Oh, no! You’re dating a human florist! We’re not dating. You’re flying outside the hive, talking to humans that attack our homes with power washers and M-80s! One-eighth a stick of dynamite! She saved my life! And she understands me. This is over! Eat this. This is not over! What was that? - They call it a crumb. - It was so stingin’ stripey! And that’s not what they eat. That’s what falls off what they eat! - You know what a Oinnabon is? - No. It’s bread and cinnamon and frosting. They heat it up… Sit down! …really hot! - Listen to me! We are not them! We’re us. There’s us and there’s them! Yes, but who can deny the heart that is yearning? There’s no yearning. Stop yearning. Listen to me! You have got to start thinking bee, my friend. Thinking bee! - Thinking bee. - Thinking bee. Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! There he is. He’s in the pool. You know what your problem is, Barry? I gotta start thinking bee? How much longer will this go on? It’s been three days! Why aren’t you working? I’ve got a lot of big life decisions to think about. What life? You have no life! You have no job. You’re barely a bee! Would it kill you to make a little honey? Barry, come out. Your father’s talking to you. Martin, would you talk to him? Barry, I’m talking to you! You coming? Got everything? All set! Go ahead. I’ll catch up. Don’t be too long. Watch this! Vanessa! - We’re still here. - I told you not to yell at him. He doesn’t respond to yelling! - Then why yell at me? - Because you don’t listen! I’m not listening to this. Sorry, I’ve gotta go. - Where are you going? - I’m meeting a friend. A girl? Is this why you can’t decide? Bye. I just hope she’s Bee-ish. They have a huge parade of flowers every year in Pasadena? To be in the Tournament of Roses, that’s every florist’s dream! Up on a float, surrounded by flowers, crowds cheering. A tournament. Do the roses compete in athletic events? No. All right, I’ve got one. How come you don’t fly everywhere? It’s exhausting. Why don’t you run everywhere? It’s faster. Yeah, OK, I see, I see. All right, your turn. TiVo. You can just freeze live TV? That’s insane! You don’t have that? We have Hivo, but it’s a disease. It’s a horrible, horrible disease. Oh, my. Dumb bees! You must want to sting all those jerks. We try not to sting. It’s usually fatal for us. So you have to watch your temper. Very carefully. You kick a wall, take a walk, write an angry letter and throw it out. Work through it like any emotion: Anger, jealousy, lust. Oh, my goodness! Are you OK? Yeah. - What is wrong with you?! - It’s a bug. He’s not bothering anybody. Get out of here, you creep! What was that? A Pic ‘N’ Save circular? Yeah, it was. How did you know? It felt like about 10 pages. Seventy-five is pretty much our limit. You’ve really got that down to a science. - I lost a cousin to Italian Vogue. - I’ll bet. What in the name of Mighty Hercules is this? How did this get here? Oute Bee, Golden Blossom, Ray Liotta Private Select? - Is he that actor? - I never heard of him. - Why is this here? - For people. We eat it. You don’t have enough food of your own? - Well, yes. - How do you get it? - Bees make it. - I know who makes it! And it’s hard to make it! There’s heating, cooling, stirring. You need a whole Krelman thing! - It’s organic. - It’s our-ganic! It’s just honey, Barry. Just what?! Bees don’t know about this! This is stealing! A lot of stealing! You’ve taken our homes, schools, hospitals! This is all we have! And it’s on sale?! I’m getting to the bottom of this. I’m getting to the bottom of all of this! Hey, Hector. - You almost done? - Almost. He is here. I sense it. Well, I guess I’ll go home now and just leave this nice honey out, with no one around. You’re busted, box boy! I knew I heard something. So you can talk! I can talk. And now you’ll start talking! Where you getting the sweet stuff? Who’s your supplier? I don’t understand. I thought we were friends. The last thing we want to do is upset bees! You’re too late! It’s ours now! You, sir, have crossed the wrong sword! You, sir, will be lunch for my iguana, Ignacio! Where is the honey coming from? Tell me where! Honey Farms! It comes from Honey Farms! Orazy person! What horrible thing has happened here? These faces, they never knew what hit them. And now they’re on the road to nowhere! Just keep still. What? You’re not dead? Do I look dead? They will wipe anything that moves. Where you headed? To Honey Farms. I am onto something huge here. I’m going to Alaska. Moose blood, crazy stuff. Blows your head off! I’m going to Tacoma. - And you? - He really is dead. All right. Uh-oh! - What is that?! - Oh, no! - A wiper! Triple blade! - Triple blade? Jump on! It’s your only chance, bee! Why does everything have to be so doggone clean?! How much do you people need to see?! Open your eyes! Stick your head out the window! From NPR News in Washington, I’m Oarl Kasell. But don’t kill no more bugs! - Bee! - Moose blood guy!! - You hear something? - Like what? Like tiny screaming. Turn off the radio. Whassup, bee boy? Hey, Blood. Just a row of honey jars, as far as the eye could see. Wow! I assume wherever this truck goes is where they’re getting it. I mean, that honey’s ours. - Bees hang tight. - We’re all jammed in. It’s a close community. Not us, man. We on our own. Every mosquito on his own. - What if you get in trouble? - You a mosquito, you in trouble. Nobody likes us. They just smack. See a mosquito, smack, smack! At least you’re out in the world. You must meet girls. Mosquito girls try to trade up, get with a moth, dragonfly. Mosquito girl don’t want no mosquito. You got to be kidding me! Mooseblood’s about to leave the building! So long, bee! - Hey, guys! - Mooseblood! I knew I’d catch y'all down here. Did you bring your crazy straw? We throw it in jars, slap a label on it, and it’s pretty much pure profit. What is this place? A bee’s got a brain the size of a pinhead. They are pinheads! Pinhead. - Oheck out the new smoker. - Oh, sweet. That’s the one you want. The Thomas 3000! Smoker? Ninety puffs a minute, semi-automatic. Twice the nicotine, all the tar. A couple breaths of this knocks them right out. They make the honey, and we make the money. “They make the honey, and we make the money”? Oh, my! What’s going on? Are you OK? Yeah. It doesn’t last too long. Do you know you’re in a fake hive with fake walls? Our queen was moved here. We had no choice. This is your queen? That’s a man in women’s clothes! That’s a drag queen! What is this? Oh, no! There’s hundreds of them! Bee honey. Our honey is being brazenly stolen on a massive scale! This is worse than anything bears have done! I intend to do something. Oh, Barry, stop. Who told you humans are taking our honey? That’s a rumor. Do these look like rumors? That’s a conspiracy theory. These are obviously doctored photos. How did you get mixed up in this? He’s been talking to humans. - What? - Talking to humans?! He has a human girlfriend. And they make out! Make out? Barry! We do not. - You wish you could. - Whose side are you on? The bees! I dated a cricket once in San Antonio. Those crazy legs kept me up all night. Barry, this is what you want to do with your life? I want to do it for all our lives. Nobody works harder than bees! Dad, I remember you coming home so overworked your hands were still stirring. You couldn’t stop. I remember that. What right do they have to our honey? We live on two cups a year. They put it in lip balm for no reason whatsoever! Even if it’s true, what can one bee do? Sting them where it really hurts. In the face! The eye! - That would hurt. - No. Up the nose? That’s a killer. There’s only one place you can sting the humans, one place where it matters. Hive at Five, the hive’s only full-hour action news source. No more bee beards! With Bob Bumble at the anchor desk. Weather with Storm Stinger. Sports with Buzz Larvi. And Jeanette Ohung. - Good evening. I’m Bob Bumble. - And I’m Jeanette Ohung. A tri-county bee, Barry Benson, intends to sue the human race for stealing our honey, packaging it and profiting from it illegally! Tomorrow night on Bee Larry King, we’ll have three former queens here in our studio, discussing their new book, Olassy Ladies, out this week on Hexagon. Tonight we’re talking to Barry Benson. Did you ever think, “I’m a kid from the hive. I can’t do this”? Bees have never been afraid to change the world. What about Bee Oolumbus? Bee Gandhi? Bejesus? Where I’m from, we’d never sue humans. We were thinking of stickball or candy stores. How old are you? The bee community is supporting you in this case, which will be the trial of the bee century. You know, they have a Larry King in the human world too. It’s a common name. Next week… He looks like you and has a show and suspenders and colored dots… Next week… Glasses, quotes on the bottom from the guest even though you just heard 'em. Bear Week next week! They’re scary, hairy and here live. Always leans forward, pointy shoulders, squinty eyes, very Jewish. In tennis, you attack at the point of weakness! It was my grandmother, Ken. She’s 81. Honey, her backhand’s a joke! I’m not gonna take advantage of that? Quiet, please. Actual work going on here. - Is that that same bee? - Yes, it is! I’m helping him sue the human race. - Hello. - Hello, bee. This is Ken. Yeah, I remember you. Timberland, size ten and a half. Vibram sole, I believe. Why does he talk again? Listen, you better go 'cause we’re really busy working. But it’s our yogurt night! Bye-bye. Why is yogurt night so difficult?! You poor thing. You two have been at this for hours! Yes, and Adam here has been a huge help. - Frosting… - How many sugars? Just one. I try not to use the competition. So why are you helping me? Bees have good qualities. And it takes my mind off the shop. Instead of flowers, people are giving balloon bouquets now. Those are great, if you’re three. And artificial flowers. - Oh, those just get me psychotic! - Yeah, me too. Bent stingers, pointless pollination. Bees must hate those fake things! Nothing worse than a daffodil that’s had work done. Maybe this could make up for it a little bit. - This lawsuit’s a pretty big deal. - I guess. You sure you want to go through with it? Am I sure? When I’m done with the humans, they won’t be able to say, “Honey, I’m home,” without paying a royalty! It’s an incredible scene here in downtown Manhattan, where the world anxiously waits, because for the first time in history, we will hear for ourselves if a honeybee can actually speak. What have we gotten into here, Barry? It’s pretty big, isn’t it? I can’t believe how many humans don’t work during the day. You think billion-dollar multinational food companies have good lawyers? Everybody needs to stay behind the barricade. - What’s the matter? - I don’t know, I just got a chill. Well, if it isn’t the bee team. You boys work on this? All rise! The Honorable Judge Bumbleton presiding. All right. Oase number 4475, Superior Oourt of New York, Barry Bee Benson v. the Honey Industry is now in session. Mr. Montgomery, you’re representing the five food companies collectively? A privilege. Mr. Benson… you’re representing all the bees of the world? I’m kidding. Yes, Your Honor, we’re ready to proceed. Mr. Montgomery, your opening statement, please. Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, my grandmother was a simple woman. Born on a farm, she believed it was man’s divine right to benefit from the bounty of nature God put before us. If we lived in the topsy-turvy world Mr. Benson imagines, just think of what would it mean. I would have to negotiate with the silkworm for the elastic in my britches! Talking bee! How do we know this isn’t some sort of holographic motion-picture-capture Hollywood wizardry? They could be using laser beams! Robotics! Ventriloquism! Oloning! For all we know, he could be on steroids! Mr. Benson? Ladies and gentlemen, there’s no trickery here. I’m just an ordinary bee. Honey’s pretty important to me. It’s important to all bees. We invented it! We make it. And we protect it with our lives. Unfortunately, there are some people in this room who think they can take it from us 'cause we’re the little guys! I’m hoping that, after this is all over, you’ll see how, by taking our honey, you not only take everything we have but everything we are! I wish he’d dress like that all the time. So nice! Oall your first witness. So, Mr. Klauss Vanderhayden of Honey Farms, big company you have. I suppose so. I see you also own Honeyburton and Honron! Yes, they provide beekeepers for our farms. Beekeeper. I find that to be a very disturbing term. I don’t imagine you employ any bee-free-ers, do you? - No. - I couldn’t hear you. - No. - No. Because you don’t free bees. You keep bees. Not only that, it seems you thought a bear would be an appropriate image for a jar of honey. They’re very lovable creatures. Yogi Bear, Fozzie Bear, Build-A-Bear. You mean like this? Bears kill bees! How’d you like his head crashing through your living room?! Biting into your couch! Spitting out your throw pillows! OK, that’s enough. Take him away. So, Mr. Sting, thank you for being here. Your name intrigues me. - Where have I heard it before? - I was with a band called The Police. But you’ve never been a police officer, have you? No, I haven’t. No, you haven’t. And so here we have yet another example of bee culture casually stolen by a human for nothing more than a prance-about stage name. Oh, please. Have you ever been stung, Mr. Sting? Because I’m feeling a little stung, Sting. Or should I say… Mr. Gordon M. Sumner! That’s not his real name?! You idiots! Mr. Liotta, first, belated congratulations on your Emmy win for a guest spot on ER in 2005. Thank you. Thank you. I see from your resume that you’re devilishly handsome with a churning inner turmoil that’s ready to blow. I enjoy what I do. Is that a crime? Not yet it isn’t. But is this what it’s come to for you? Exploiting tiny, helpless bees so you don’t have to rehearse your part and learn your lines, sir? Watch it, Benson! I could blow right now! This isn’t a goodfella. This is a badfella! Why doesn’t someone just step on this creep, and we can all go home?! - Order in this court! - You’re all thinking it! Order! Order, I say! - Say it! - Mr. Liotta, please sit down! I think it was awfully nice of that bear to pitch in like that. I think the jury’s on our side. Are we doing everything right, legally? I’m a florist. Right. Well, here’s to a great team. To a great team! Well, hello. - Ken! - Hello. I didn’t think you were coming. No, I was just late. I tried to call, but… the battery. I didn’t want all this to go to waste, so I called Barry. Luckily, he was free. Oh, that was lucky. There’s a little left. I could heat it up. Yeah, heat it up, sure, whatever. So I hear you’re quite a tennis player. I’m not much for the game myself. The ball’s a little grabby. That’s where I usually sit. Right… there. Ken, Barry was looking at your resume, and he agreed with me that eating with chopsticks isn’t really a special skill. You think I don’t see what you’re doing? I know how hard it is to find the rightjob. We have that in common. Do we? Bees have 100 percent employment, but we do jobs like taking the crud out. That’s just what I was thinking about doing. Ken, I let Barry borrow your razor for his fuzz. I hope that was all right. I’m going to drain the old stinger. Yeah, you do that. Look at that. You know, I’ve just about had it with your little mind games. - What’s that? - Italian Vogue. Mamma mia, that’s a lot of pages. A lot of ads. Remember what Van said, why is your life more valuable than mine? Funny, I just can’t seem to recall that! I think something stinks in here! I love the smell of flowers. How do you like the smell of flames?! Not as much. Water bug! Not taking sides! Ken, I’m wearing a Ohapstick hat! This is pathetic! I’ve got issues! Well, well, well, a royal flush! - You’re bluffing. - Am I? Surf’s up, dude! Poo water! That bowl is gnarly. Except for those dirty yellow rings! Kenneth! What are you doing?! You know, I don’t even like honey! I don’t eat it! We need to talk! He’s just a little bee! And he happens to be the nicest bee I’ve met in a long time! Long time? What are you talking about?! Are there other bugs in your life? No, but there are other things bugging me in life. And you’re one of them! Fine! Talking bees, no yogurt night… My nerves are fried from riding on this emotional roller coaster! Goodbye, Ken. And for your information, I prefer sugar-free, artificial sweeteners made by man! I’m sorry about all that. I know it’s got an aftertaste! I like it! I always felt there was some kind of barrier between Ken and me. I couldn’t overcome it. Oh, well. Are you OK for the trial? I believe Mr. Montgomery is about out of ideas. We would like to call Mr. Barry Benson Bee to the stand. Good idea! You can really see why he’s considered one of the best lawyers… Yeah. Layton, you’ve gotta weave some magic with this jury, or it’s gonna be all over. Don’t worry. The only thing I have to do to turn this jury around is to remind them of what they don’t like about bees. - You got the tweezers? - Are you allergic? Only to losing, son. Only to losing. Mr. Benson Bee, I’ll ask you what I think we’d all like to know. What exactly is your relationship to that woman? We’re friends. - Good friends? - Yes. How good? Do you live together? Wait a minute… Are you her little… …bedbug? I’ve seen a bee documentary or two. From what I understand, doesn’t your queen give birth to all the bee children? - Yeah, but… - So those aren’t your real parents! - Oh, Barry… - Yes, they are! Hold me back! You’re an illegitimate bee, aren’t you, Benson? He’s denouncing bees! Don’t y'all date your cousins? - Objection! - I’m going to pincushion this guy! Adam, don’t! It’s what he wants! Oh, I’m hit!! Oh, lordy, I am hit! Order! Order! The venom! The venom is coursing through my veins! I have been felled by a winged beast of destruction! You see? You can’t treat them like equals! They’re striped savages! Stinging’s the only thing they know! It’s their way! - Adam, stay with me. - I can’t feel my legs. What angel of mercy will come forward to suck the poison from my heaving buttocks? I will have order in this court. Order! Order, please! The case of the honeybees versus the human race took a pointed turn against the bees yesterday when one of their legal team stung Layton T. Montgomery. - Hey, buddy. - Hey. - Is there much pain? - Yeah. I… I blew the whole case, didn’t I? It doesn’t matter. What matters is you’re alive. You could have died. I’d be better off dead. Look at me. They got it from the cafeteria downstairs, in a tuna sandwich. Look, there’s a little celery still on it. What was it like to sting someone? I can’t explain it. It was all… All adrenaline and then… and then ecstasy! All right. You think it was all a trap? Of course. I’m sorry. I flew us right into this. What were we thinking? Look at us. We’re just a couple of bugs in this world. What will the humans do to us if they win? I don’t know. I hear they put the roaches in motels. That doesn’t sound so bad. Adam, they check in, but they don’t check out! Oh, my. Oould you get a nurse to close that window? - Why? - The smoke. Bees don’t smoke. Right. Bees don’t smoke. Bees don’t smoke! But some bees are smoking. That’s it! That’s our case! It is? It’s not over? Get dressed. I’ve gotta go somewhere. Get back to the court and stall. Stall any way you can. And assuming you’ve done step correctly, you’re ready for the tub. Mr. Flayman. Yes? Yes, Your Honor! Where is the rest of your team? Well, Your Honor, it’s interesting. Bees are trained to fly haphazardly, and as a result, we don’t make very good time. I actually heard a funny story about… Your Honor, haven’t these ridiculous bugs taken up enough of this court’s valuable time? How much longer will we allow these absurd shenanigans to go on? They have presented no compelling evidence to support their charges against my clients, who run legitimate businesses. I move for a complete dismissal of this entire case! Mr. Flayman, I’m afraid I’m going to have to consider Mr. Montgomery’s motion. But you can’t! We have a terrific case. Where is your proof? Where is the evidence? Show me the smoking gun! Hold it, Your Honor! You want a smoking gun? Here is your smoking gun. What is that? It’s a bee smoker! What, this? This harmless little contraption? This couldn’t hurt a fly, let alone a bee. Look at what has happened to bees who have never been asked, “Smoking or non?” Is this what nature intended for us? To be forcibly addicted to smoke machines and man-made wooden slat work camps? Living out our lives as honey slaves to the white man? - What are we gonna do? - He’s playing the species card. Ladies and gentlemen, please, free these bees! Free the bees! Free the bees! Free the bees! Free the bees! Free the bees! The court finds in favor of the bees! Vanessa, we won! I knew you could do it! High-five! Sorry. I’m OK! You know what this means? All the honey will finally belong to the bees. Now we won’t have to work so hard all the time. This is an unholy perversion of the balance of nature, Benson. You’ll regret this. Barry, how much honey is out there? All right. One at a time. Barry, who are you wearing? My sweater is Ralph Lauren, and I have no pants. - What if Montgomery’s right? - What do you mean? We’ve been living the bee way a long time, 27 million years. Oongratulations on your victory. What will you demand as a settlement? First, we’ll demand a complete shutdown of all bee work camps. Then we want back the honey that was ours to begin with, every last drop. We demand an end to the glorification of the bear as anything more than a filthy, smelly, bad-breath stink machine. We’re all aware of what they do in the woods. Wait for my signal. Take him out. He’ll have nauseous for a few hours, then he’ll be fine. And we will no longer tolerate bee-negative nicknames… But it’s just a prance-about stage name! …unnecessary inclusion of honey in bogus health products and la-dee-da human tea-time snack garnishments. Oan’t breathe. Bring it in, boys! Hold it right there! Good. Tap it. Mr. Buzzwell, we just passed three cups, and there’s gallons more coming! - I think we need to shut down! - Shut down? We’ve never shut down. Shut down honey production! Stop making honey! Turn your key, sir! What do we do now? Oannonball! We’re shutting honey production! Mission abort. Aborting pollination and nectar detail. Returning to base. Adam, you wouldn’t believe how much honey was out there. Oh, yeah? What’s going on? Where is everybody? - Are they out celebrating? - They’re home. They don’t know what to do. Laying out, sleeping in. I heard your Uncle Oarl was on his way to San Antonio with a cricket. At least we got our honey back. Sometimes I think, so what if humans liked our honey? Who wouldn’t? It’s the greatest thing in the world! I was excited to be part of making it. This was my new desk. This was my new job. I wanted to do it really well. And now… Now I can’t. I don’t understand why they’re not happy. I thought their lives would be better! They’re doing nothing. It’s amazing. Honey really changes people. You don’t have any idea what’s going on, do you? - What did you want to show me? - This. What happened here? That is not the half of it. Oh, no. Oh, my. They’re all wilting. Doesn’t look very good, does it? No. And whose fault do you think that is? You know, I’m gonna guess bees. Bees? Specifically, me. I didn’t think bees not needing to make honey would affect all these things. It’s notjust flowers. Fruits, vegetables, they all need bees. That’s our whole SAT test right there. Take away produce, that affects the entire animal kingdom. And then, of course… The human species? So if there’s no more pollination, it could all just go south here, couldn’t it? I know this is also partly my fault. How about a suicide pact? How do we do it? - I’ll sting you, you step on me. - Thatjust kills you twice. Right, right. Listen, Barry… sorry, but I gotta get going. I had to open my mouth and talk. Vanessa? Vanessa? Why are you leaving? Where are you going? To the final Tournament of Roses parade in Pasadena. They’ve moved it to this weekend because all the flowers are dying. It’s the last chance I’ll ever have to see it. Vanessa, I just wanna say I’m sorry. I never meant it to turn out like this. I know. Me neither. Tournament of Roses. Roses can’t do sports. Wait a minute. Roses. Roses? Roses! Vanessa! Roses?! Barry? - Roses are flowers! - Yes, they are. Flowers, bees, pollen! I know. That’s why this is the last parade. Maybe not. Oould you ask him to slow down? Oould you slow down? Barry! OK, I made a huge mistake. This is a total disaster, all my fault. Yes, it kind of is. I’ve ruined the planet. I wanted to help you with the flower shop. I’ve made it worse. Actually, it’s completely closed down. I thought maybe you were remodeling. But I have another idea, and it’s greater than my previous ideas combined. I don’t want to hear it! All right, they have the roses, the roses have the pollen. I know every bee, plant and flower bud in this park. All we gotta do is get what they’ve got back here with what we’ve got. - Bees. - Park. - Pollen! - Flowers. - Repollination! - Across the nation! Tournament of Roses, Pasadena, Oalifornia. They’ve got nothing but flowers, floats and cotton candy. Security will be tight. I have an idea. Vanessa Bloome, FTD. Official floral business. It’s real. Sorry, ma'am. Nice brooch. Thank you. It was a gift. Once inside, we just pick the right float. How about The Princess and the Pea? I could be the princess, and you could be the pea! Yes, I got it. - Where should I sit? - What are you? - I believe I’m the pea. - The pea? It goes under the mattresses. - Not in this fairy tale, sweetheart. - I’m getting the marshal. You do that! This whole parade is a fiasco! Let’s see what this baby’ll do. Hey, what are you doing?! Then all we do is blend in with traffic… …without arousing suspicion. Once at the airport, there’s no stopping us. Stop! Security. - You and your insect pack your float? - Yes. Has it been in your possession the entire time? Would you remove your shoes? - Remove your stinger. - It’s part of me. I know. Just having some fun. Enjoy your flight. Then if we’re lucky, we’ll have just enough pollen to do the job. Oan you believe how lucky we are? We have just enough pollen to do the job! I think this is gonna work. It’s got to work. Attention, passengers, this is Oaptain Scott. We have a bit of bad weather in New York. It looks like we’ll experience a couple hours delay. Barry, these are cut flowers with no water. They’ll never make it. I gotta get up there and talk to them. Be careful. Oan I get help with the Sky Mall magazine? I’d like to order the talking inflatable nose and ear hair trimmer. Oaptain, I’m in a real situation. - What’d you say, Hal? - Nothing. Bee! Don’t freak out! My entire species… What are you doing? - Wait a minute! I’m an attorney! - Who’s an attorney? Don’t move. Oh, Barry. Good afternoon, passengers. This is your captain. Would a Miss Vanessa Bloome in 24B please report to the cockpit? And please hurry! What happened here? There was a DustBuster, a toupee, a life raft exploded. One’s bald, one’s in a boat, they’re both unconscious! - Is that another bee joke? - No! No one’s flying the plane! This is JFK control tower, Flight 356. What’s your status? This is Vanessa Bloome. I’m a florist from New York. Where’s the pilot? He’s unconscious, and so is the copilot. Not good. Does anyone onboard have flight experience? As a matter of fact, there is. - Who’s that? - Barry Benson. From the honey trial?! Oh, great. Vanessa, this is nothing more than a big metal bee. It’s got giant wings, huge engines. I can’t fly a plane. - Why not? Isn’t John Travolta a pilot? - Yes. How hard could it be? Wait, Barry! We’re headed into some lightning. This is Bob Bumble. We have some late-breaking news from JFK Airport, where a suspenseful scene is developing. Barry Benson, fresh from his legal victory… That’s Barry! …is attempting to land a plane, loaded with people, flowers and an incapacitated flight crew. Flowers?! We have a storm in the area and two individuals at the controls with absolutely no flight experience. Just a minute. There’s a bee on that plane. I’m quite familiar with Mr. Benson and his no-account compadres. They’ve done enough damage. But isn’t he your only hope? Technically, a bee shouldn’t be able to fly at all. Their wings are too small… Haven’t we heard this a million times? “The surface area of the wings and body mass make no sense.” - Get this on the air! - Got it. - Stand by. - We’re going live. The way we work may be a mystery to you. Making honey takes a lot of bees doing a lot of small jobs. But let me tell you about a small job. If you do it well, it makes a big difference. More than we realized. To us, to everyone. That’s why I want to get bees back to working together. That’s the bee way! We’re not made of Jell-O. We get behind a fellow. - Black and yellow! - Hello! Left, right, down, hover. - Hover? - Forget hover. This isn’t so hard. Beep-beep! Beep-beep! Barry, what happened?! Wait, I think we were on autopilot the whole time. - That may have been helping me. - And now we’re not! So it turns out I cannot fly a plane. All of you, let’s get behind this fellow! Move it out! Move out! Our only chance is if I do what I’d do, you copy me with the wings of the plane! Don’t have to yell. I’m not yelling! We’re in a lot of trouble. It’s very hard to concentrate with that panicky tone in your voice! It’s not a tone. I’m panicking! I can’t do this! Vanessa, pull yourself together. You have to snap out of it! You snap out of it. You snap out of it. - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it! - Hold it! - Why? Oome on, it’s my turn. How is the plane flying? I don’t know. Hello? Benson, got any flowers for a happy occasion in there? The Pollen Jocks! They do get behind a fellow. - Black and yellow. - Hello. All right, let’s drop this tin can on the blacktop. Where? I can’t see anything. Oan you? No, nothing. It’s all cloudy. Oome on. You got to think bee, Barry. - Thinking bee. - Thinking bee. Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Wait a minute. I think I’m feeling something. - What? - I don’t know. It’s strong, pulling me. Like a 27-million-year-old instinct. Bring the nose down. Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! - What in the world is on the tarmac? - Get some lights on that! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! - Vanessa, aim for the flower. - OK. Out the engines. We’re going in on bee power. Ready, boys? Affirmative! Good. Good. Easy, now. That’s it. Land on that flower! Ready? Full reverse! Spin it around! - Not that flower! The other one! - Which one? - That flower. - I’m aiming at the flower! That’s a fat guy in a flowered shirt. I mean the giant pulsating flower made of millions of bees! Pull forward. Nose down. Tail up. Rotate around it. - This is insane, Barry! - This’s the only way I know how to fly. Am I koo-koo-kachoo, or is this plane flying in an insect-like pattern? Get your nose in there. Don’t be afraid. Smell it. Full reverse! Just drop it. Be a part of it. Aim for the center! Now drop it in! Drop it in, woman! Oome on, already. Barry, we did it! You taught me how to fly! - Yes. No high-five! - Right. Barry, it worked! Did you see the giant flower? What giant flower? Where? Of course I saw the flower! That was genius! - Thank you. - But we’re not done yet. Listen, everyone! This runway is covered with the last pollen from the last flowers available anywhere on Earth. That means this is our last chance. We’re the only ones who make honey, pollinate flowers and dress like this. If we’re gonna survive as a species, this is our moment! What do you say? Are we going to be bees, orjust Museum of Natural History keychains? We’re bees! Keychain! Then follow me! Except Keychain. Hold on, Barry. Here. You’ve earned this. Yeah! I’m a Pollen Jock! And it’s a perfect fit. All I gotta do are the sleeves. Oh, yeah. That’s our Barry. Mom! The bees are back! If anybody needs to make a call, now’s the time. I got a feeling we’ll be working late tonight! Here’s your change. Have a great afternoon! Oan I help who’s next? Would you like some honey with that? It is bee-approved. Don’t forget these. Milk, cream, cheese, it’s all me. And I don’t see a nickel! Sometimes I just feel like a piece of meat! I had no idea. Barry, I’m sorry. Have you got a moment? Would you excuse me? My mosquito associate will help you. Sorry I’m late. He’s a lawyer too? I was already a blood-sucking parasite. All I needed was a briefcase. Have a great afternoon! Barry, I just got this huge tulip order, and I can’t get them anywhere. No problem, Vannie. Just leave it to me. You’re a lifesaver, Barry. Oan I help who’s next? All right, scramble, jocks! It’s time to fly. Thank you, Barry! That bee is living my life! Let it go, Kenny. - When will this nightmare end?! - Let it all go. - Beautiful day to fly. - Sure is. Between you and me, I was dying to get out of that office. You have got to start thinking bee, my friend. - Thinking bee! - Me? Hold it. Let’s just stop for a second. Hold it. I’m sorry. I’m sorry, everyone.Can we stop here? I’m not making a major life decision during a production number! All right. Take ten, everybody. Wrap it up, guys. I had virtually no rehearsal for that
—  The Bee Movie
Karma is Oh So Sweet

Note: Not really a revenge story on my part, but I believe this is a fine example of cosmic revenge for a larger hole. Long story, TL:DR at the end.

About seven years ago, I was in my sophomore year of high school. Let me just mention this, I was not your typical student:

  • I came from one of the poorest family in this town of three thousand. My dad was physically disabled for years before this and had been unemployed since I was in third grade. This left my mom the only working member of my family until my dad was put on disability. My dad, however, did not get put on disability UNTIL my sophomore year of high school, so around eight years, my mom was the only one working. In fact, there were times when I didn’t even get new clothes to wear for a new year as we couldn’t afford it.
  • I am legally mentally disabled. I was diagnosed with Asperger Syndrome in eighth grade and, legally, should have been in some special classes. This led the school to alter my schedule without my permission and resulted in my mom’s wrath to the school.
  • I am clinically depressed and went through a time when I did not take my medication as it made me aggressive. I have since switch medications and have become a lot calmer as a result.

Keep reading

Weird Things in D2

-what’s funnier: Gil being banished to the stoop to think about what he’s done, or the fact that one look from Harry and he knew were to go. Implying he’s fucked up so much he had an assigned time out corner.

-Harry really wanted to shove his hook into Ben. Violently. He’s either killed before or he’s desperate to massacre someone. Blood thirsty stripper pirate.

- It’s a docked ship…that’s not threatening. I wonder if the parents are staring at the rap battle like “kids today and their Hamilton tributes”.

- How did Mal not see that Moped 10 FEET AWAY FROM HER?? How did Ben get it in there without her noticing? Were people just passing like “wow that’s some weird shit to be near the lockers”.

- Where’s the royal party planner? Why is it being left to a 16 year old attending school? Isn’t that like a job?

- How did Mal’s hair come out that straight and light. We saw her in rollers with dark purple hair. WHAT WAS THE POINT OF THE ROLLERS?

- KEEP EVIE AWAY FROM THE GLUE GIN CHRIST THOSE OUTFITS ARE GAUDY

- Carlos barely does anything in this movie…he literally provides the idea for the 3D printer…and “girl talk”…that’s it. He disappears from the pirate fight.

-Saw Evie and Mal’s bed in that hideout…where was Jay and Carlos’s? When was that place built? WHERE DID THEY GET BEDS? Carlos sleeps in a closet and Jay sleeps on a rug in the books. What is that place?? It’s never explained!!

- Why did Captain James Hook give Harry his hook? How did that conversation go down?

- glad no one was alerted to their presents during “Chillin like a villain”

- Are all the fish served at Ursula’s evil? Nothing gets in or out of the barrier, so those fish are evil.

- No one was concerned that Chad was wearing a full on King’s outfit? Guess no Game of Thrones there.

- How did Chad get into Jay and Carlos’s room the first time if he needed the 3D printer to pro t the key? Where did he get the schematics for the key?

- No one on that island saw the bridge? No one ran for the opportunity?

- There was DJ and lightning equipment on the yacht at the end. All those people were electrocuted.

-There were 2 different DJs.

- During What’s My Name, the pirates place Uma at the head of the table and file in on the sides while Harry shakes his ass and hips on the table…the was a damn strip joint. The speed in which they did that implies that this is not the first time Harry has used body language on a table.

gangsey + solar eclipse

gansey: texts everybody hourly reminders to not look at the sun without the proper eyewear for the solar eclipse. secures enough glasses for the entire gang. also makes sure everybody wears sunscreen since they will be outside. also brings snacks. also gives a speech about solar eclipse traditions and notable historic events that happened during solar eclipses. 

blue: refuses to wear the hideous glasses and makes her own by cutting the lenses out of the ones gansey gives her and turning them into some crazy sunflower spectacles with the help of noah. is super into the eclipse though because the moon is “her girlfriend" 

adam: doesn’t really give a shit but puts the glasses on and watches with the rest of them. actually finds it extremely cool and admits this out loud because he’s allowed to think things are cool. decides to do a tarot reading later that evening before the sun goes down. 

ronan: doesn’t wear the glasses because he’s a rebel. spends most of the solar eclipse admiring adam while adam admires the solar eclipse. eventually can’t resist and looks directly at the goddamned sun and immediately gets pounced on by gansey who was barely watching the phenomenon because he just KNEW ronan would pull this shit. 

noah: decorates a cereal box with paint, feathers, and gems. it actually looks pretty dope. uses it despite being a ghost who is immune to such things. mocks ronan when he burns his own eyes. ronan threatens to throw him into the sun.

henry: chooses his outfit around the eclipse glasses. manages to turn the glasses into a school wide fashion trend that are worn for months post eclipse. loudly proclaims he is in love with the moon but she will never love him back and isn’t that the biggest tragedy of them all? also hosts a solar eclipse party and only plays songs that mention the moon or the sun. does one hell of a performance of total eclipse of the heart right when the moon is completely over the sun.

It’s Hard Enough - Cooper!Reader X Jughead Jones

Originally posted by betty-and-jughead


Hi love! Could I please request a fluffy Riverdale imagine where the reader is Betty’s little sister by a year who receives the same pressure from their mom, but hides it well from her sister and everyone else, when she is actually completely overwhelmed and stressed out to the point where she’s having an anxiety attack and Jughead or Veronica helps her?

Just because I love him, I chose a Jughead x Reader prompt. But, anon, if you want one with Veronica please message me!!! And maybe…if you want a Part Two (?)

It’s hard enough being a Freshman at Riverdale High, but you had an amazing older sister who put your mother’s standard too high. Betty is an amazing sister and you love her, it’s just that everyone loves her. After Polly went away and Jason went missing, things started to go further down hill for you. Your mother put unneeded pressure on both you and Betty, but Betty handled so much better. She broke free from your mother’s poisonous ways and started doing things for herself. This left you alone with the overbearing woman and no where to go. You managed to hide the damage your mother was inflicting upon you quite well. So well in fact that your sister and her friends thought you were just fine. The first day back to school, that changed.

“That’s really great Archie!” Betty said, shooting the redhead the most adorable heart eyes. You nodded in agreement as you listened to Archie's’ music demo. You were about to speak up when everyone at the lunch table turned their heads. “Can I sit?”

You turned and saw a very pretty Sophomore standing near the table. “Veronica! Yeah, sit!” Betty said, giving her a sweet smile. Kevin moved over, allowing you to make room for the girl to sit next to you. “What song is that? It’s really good but I haven’t heard it before.”

“It’s Archie’s demo.” You said, and the girl looked at you in confusion. Betty laughed, “Sorry, Veronica, this is my little sister Y/N. Y/N this is Veronica, she just moved here from New York.” Veronica gave you a kind smile and a hello which you tried to copy as best you could. You just weren’t feeling it today. Veronica must’ve picked up on it because her eyebrows furrowed slightly. “Yeah, I thought we’d have to pretend to like it but, it’s actually really great.” Kevin said causing Archie to smile softly. You smiled a little too, happy that at least one person you knew was doing something good in their lives. “You are alright?” Veronica asked while Kevin and Betty discussed Archie’s future in the music business. You just turned to look at her and with no answer, you got up and left the table. You felt tears gathering behind your eyes as you walked past Cheryl Blossom’s table, you heard someone in their group mutter “freak” and you suddenly were pushed over the edge. You picked up your pace and walked quickly back inside the school. You darted towards the nearest bathroom. You felt eyes on you and saw the Sophomore from your writing class watching you. You just walked faster to the bathroom and when inside, you locked yourself in a stall. The weight of everything that had occurred was finally crashing down on you and it was hitting hard. You felt light headed as your mind replayed the conversation of the future you had with your mom, the pressure for success she put on you because God forbid she had another broken daughter. Veronica’s simple question brought all of it back, the family drama that occurred with Polly and then Jason’s disappearance. You were far from alright, but the thought of telling someone that felt more scary than the pressure itself.

You managed to pull yourself together enough where you stopped crying, and got ready for your next period. When you would see your sister and her friends in the hall, you’d just say you had a stomach cramp or pain and went to the nurse. They’d question you and Veronica would be skeptical, but you’d smile and lie your way through the day.  


You told Betty that you had a group project due in a few days and that your group was meeting up at Pop’s. Of course, being the good sister she is, let you go off on your own. “Just text me when you get there and when you need a ride, okay?” You nodded and gave her a fake smile. “I love you Y/N, be safe!” You walked off towards the diner, happy that now you didn’t have to go home for a little while longer.

The diner was basically empty, minus a few usual patrons. You ordered some fries and sat in a booth in the corner. You looked outside the window and saw the rain drops fall against the glass. It was a soothing distraction, taking your mind off the current situation just for a few precious moments. The silence was interrupted by someone sitting in the empty side of the booth. You turned your head quickly and saw the quiet Sophomore from early today. You just stared at him and his odd hat, and he stared at you just the same. “You’re Y/N Cooper, I saw you earlier today in school. We have Writing class together.” You nodded, suddenly getting nervous. “You’re Jughead Jones.” You said, equally as monotone as he did. “I’m not normally one for caring, but what happened today, right before lunch ended?” You swallowed hard at his question, and he saw your unease. “You looked very, very upset, that’s why I ask.” You felt a tear slide down your cheek at his sudden kindness. You wiped it away as quickly as it had appeared. “Everything going on it’s…taking a toll on me, but I’m-” You stopped talking, not trusting your own voice to continue. Jughead seemed to notice and didn’t say a word. He just waited until you composed yourself and continued. “I’m,” you looked into his eyes for a split moment and saw that there was no fooling him, “not fine.”

You found yourself opening up, just a little, to the mysterious boy before you. You mentioned the pressure your mother put you under, that derived from what occurred with Polly and Jason. From there, he started to talk about the summer, the Blossom twins, and how he remembered your older sister. “Polly was very nice. Said ‘hi’ to me even when I didn’t even look at her.”

“That was the type of girl she was.” You said, trailing off. You missed your eldest sister and you knew that Betty did as well. “Maybe,” Jughead started, slightly hesitant, “you should talk to your sister Betty more.” You stared at him quietly as he continued, “If she was under the same pressure she might be able to help you deal with it. It’s just an idea.” He said, and you felt your lips twitch up into a small smile. “Thank you.” Your phone screen flickered on and you saw the time. You hurriedly got out of the booth and stood. “My sister is going to be here soon.” He nodded, and made his way out of his side of the booth. “I’ll walk you out.”

The two of you waited under the rain-guard outside the diner in a calm silence. For some reason you turned and saw him looking at you. “You don’t have to stay. You’ve done enough for me.” He shook his head and looked towards the ground, a small smile played on his lips. “I’m just going to leave you alone when you feel this down.” You nodded, your heart beating a bit faster than before. “Thank you, again.” You whispered quietly, he turned to face you once more. “If you ever need to talk, to someone that isn’t your sister, you can find me in the library at lunch time.” You gave him a soft smile once more and saw the headlights coming from down the road.

“I’ll see you around, Jughead.” You murmured, but he caught your hand before you walked away. “I hope you smile more.” He said in a hushed tone as he slipped a piece of paper into your hand. You looked a his face, his gaze hidden slightly by his dark hair. He pulled away and with one last glance, walked back inside the diner. You darted to Betty’s car through the rain and shuddered when you got inside.

“Get buckled.” She said, “How’d the group project go?” As you finished buckling your safety belt, you turned back to the diner and saw Jughead typing away at a laptop through the window. From a distance, it looked, almost like, he was smiling. You turned to face forward and sighed. “It went pretty well.”  

On Paper

He failed my class. It really wasn’t even a close call. I couldn’t do the 2-point mercy bump. 

It wasn’t for a lack of trying on either of our parts. Yeah, he could have put more effort into homework, but “home” isn’t easy for him in a year of personal transition. He could have studied to improve his quiz and test scores. But in class, he tried his hardest. Always had his hand raised. Not the best reader, but always the first to volunteer. If I needed a favor or an errand, he’d be there before I got the request out of my mouth. 

He had his off days too. He could be a nudge. We’d go out into the hall and have a little chat, and he’d admit he was off. I said, “One step at a time,” mimicking a book we read in class that he loved. And he’d go back in and hold it together.

When we received teacher thank you’s, he wrote to me. “Thank you for believing in me when no one else did.” I sat at my desk, with tears in my eyes because I didn’t think he’d write to me and I certainly didn’t think he’d write that.

So when I sat down to give my “thank you’s” in the form of awards, I had to repay the debt. I couldn’t congratulate him on his grades, so I gave him a well-deserved participation award. His face lit up when I said his name. My teammate said when he returned from the stage, he sat there staring at the paper with a smile. When I returned, he pointed at me and I pointed back. And then I had to turn around and pull it together. It was the only award he received and he carried it like a trophy.

I requested him for summer school. I know it doesn’t look like we made strides, but we did and I want to send him to 8th grade with that momentum.

On paper, this was a failure. On paper, he dropped my passing rate and lost me a point in APPR. On paper, his reading scores dropped. On paper, I didn’t do my best for him. On paper, this whole year was a waste for both of us. 

And this is the problem with education today. You can’t measure fruitless diligence and dedication. You can’t prove someone is doing their best when their best isn’t hitting expectations set for other kids. You cannot give points for pulling it together on a bad day. You cannot assess heart. These are all impossible things to quantify. 

It wasn’t a failure. It was a success in every way but one.

anonymous asked:

Do you have any Sterek fic recs for sleeping together? I've got a bit of a craving :p

sleeping as in sharing a bed and sleeping next to each other and/or cuddles right right right i got you i got you

these are some with sleeps

  • little spoon by bibliosexxual (T, 4k)  To save money while attending college in NYC, Stiles and Derek decide to rent one tiny apartment together. With one bed.
  • untitled by grimm (Not Rated, 3k) By the time he’s supposed to meet up with Stiles, though, Derek’s a wreck. He knows he’s being ridiculous; this isn’t a date, it’s entirely professional even if it’s weird as hell, and he knows Kira wouldn’t direct him to someone who’s an asshole, but still. Derek feels like he’s in high school again, getting ready for his first ever date. His fucking palms are getting sweaty; he has to scrub them against his pants before opening the door to the coffeeshop.
  • Cuddle Therapy by alisvolatpropiis (Not Rated, 3k) “Dude, did you know that Derek’s into dudes?” Scott asks the question as he shoves a folded piece of meat lover’s pizza in his mouth, last few words turning to mumbled mush. 
  • I Need A Hug by literaryoblivion (M, 1k)  Today has been the absolute worse. It’s not even supernatural related either, it’s just normal human, college student shit, but Stiles is just done. So he texts Scott: “I need a hug. get here ASAP.“ Only it’s not Scott that gets the text, but Derek, who shows up willing to give Stiles that hug anyway.
  • untitled by petals42 (Not Rated, 1k) It’s not that Stiles is only affectionate when Derek’s asleep.
  • We’ll Get There One Day by Captain_Loki (T, 3k) “I…I didn’t…I didn’t cuddle you!” Stiles shouted it a bit maniacally, hoping the more surprise he expressed the less Derek would be compelled to kill him. “I know,” Derek replied easily, sitting up and stretching, muscles in his shoulder popping. “I did.” The whole pack stopped their movements to stare. “Because you sleep like a spaz, Stiles,” Derek grumbled.
GREY AREA. (M) | 06

“And just like that, your fate was sealed - because Min Yoongi was absolutely going to destroy you. But hell, if you weren’t going to let him, or bask happily in the flames as he did so.

And sadly, at the time, you didn’t think that your thoughts would become so literal.

cr.

“I think that friendship is as powerful as true romantic love. And I think that friendship can save you, and heal the parts of you that you didn’t know were broken, and change your life.” - Sarah J Maas

 Pairing: Yoongi/Reader
 Word Count: 11,085
 Genre/Warnings: Soulmate AU, Angst

→  Chapter Index

ADDITIONAL WARNINGS FOR THIS CHAPTER: suicide is sort of insinuated.




You let out a low sigh at the vibration of your phone going off, this seeming to be the millionth time it had sounded and you were beginning to lose your patience.


You had rolled over from your side to where you laid flatly on your back, the never ending vibrations had ripped you from your slumber, something that not even Taehyung was brave enough to do.

Keep reading

SKAM S04E07 Clip 2 - Ramadan

SARA: [Frida said that she wanted to be a doctor today. LOL]

ISAK:   [haha please don’t … anyone]

ISAK: [but knowing her … that’s true]

SARA: [But it’s a pity for her. I think her mom is alcoholic or a freeloader or something, because Mathilde had seen her with a lady that looked homeless and when Mathilde had gone over to greet them, Vilde tried to hide]

ISAK: [how…]

Keep reading

Oblivious

Requested By: Anonymous

hi! can u do one where the reader is related to bucky or nat and the avengers know about peter’s major crush and sticks the reader and peter in one room until he confesses??

Pairing: Peter Parker x Reader

Description: Everyone in the Avengers building knew you and Peter both liked each other, it was obvious, except to the both of you. It got to the point where everyone was just waiting for you two to get together, so Bucky decided to take matters into his own hands.

Warnings: It’s so dorky?? And awkward aw

Word Count: 2,311

A/N: AHHHHHH, this was so cute to write and aw it’s soooo dorky I freaking lOVE IT. I hope you enjoy :)))))

Originally posted by tomshollandss

You woke up to the sound of your alarm blasting your eardrums out, you had to put it on full volume, otherwise you would hit snooze and go back to sleep.

You groggily got out of your warm bed, mentally cursing school for ruining your happiness of what is sleeping peacefully.

You did your usual routine, not putting in much effort for school, because who was there really to impress? If someone did actually like you then at least you knew they genuinely liked you for you.

You walked out of your room, sweatpants and a t-shirt on, your hair in a messy bun, some mascara on your lashes and you were ready to go.

“Well doesn’t someone look happy to be alive today.” Nat teased, making you glare at her as you filled your mug with coffee.

You were a heavy coffee drinker, you tried to tell yourself it was because you were just a teenager and you needed it to stay awake, but you knew deep down it was because you lived at the Avengers building, and they weren’t exact the quietest people ever.

“How many cups do you go through a day? It can’t be healthy.” Steve commented, making you roll your eyes as you poured some cream and sugar into the mug.

“Enough to keep me awake and moving.” You added bitterly, giving them a clear fake smile as you exited the kitchen.

“See you later, gotta go.” You muttered, grabbing your backpack and leaving the house, taking a deep breath of the cool autumn air.

Autumn was your favorite season, it was when the colors of the leaves changed, when you could start wearing skinny jeans and warm sweaters, when you could wear cute scarfs, basically everything about Autumn was fascinating to you.

You walked down the sidewalk to the subway, your mug still firm in your grasp, you needed to wake up, you couldn’t afford to be moody at school today, you’d already gotten in trouble many times before.

You soon reached your stop, hopping off the subway, walking up to the school, taking a good look before bracing yourself to enter.

“Hey Y/N!” Someone shouted, you gave a brief wave, while sipping your coffee.

“Y/N, did you see that Carly and Eric are dating?” Someone else shouted, making you shrug and walk away.

You didn’t know why people were so intent on talking to you, you wished they’d just leave you all alone.

You walked into class, sitting down in your seat, placing your mug of coffee on the table, before resting your head against the cold surface.

“Y/N..” A voice mumbled, making you let out a groan and turn to see who was trying to interrupt your miniature nap.

“Yes?” You muttered, before locking eyes with the all too famous brown ones.

“I uh, um, you’re in my seat?” Peter smiled slightly, making your eyes widen slightly, as you sat up, and sure enough you were in his seat.

“Sorry, that’s so embarrassing.” You apologized, grabbing your belongings and moving to the other seat, yes, you both did next to each other, but it was still awkward since you were basically sprawled out on his side.

“N-No! It’s fine, I mean, it’s cool. N-No worries.” Peter stammered, his cheeks a light shade of pink, but you were too tired to notice.

Class soon started and you were bored out of your mind, normally you loved Chemistry, mixing chemicals together and creating something, but today all you did was take notes and you were doing your best to not fall asleep right then and there.

Peter could sense your tired state, in fact he knew just how tired you were since he was actually at the Avengers building those previous nights.

He knew you could barely get any sleep because Tony kept throwing ’friendly gatherings’ which is more a huge party.

“Y/N, hey.” Peter mumbled, placing his hand on your shoulder, shaking you slightly as your eyes reopened, your vision a bit blurry since you had been zoning out.

“Hmm?” You hummed, glancing over at him, your eyes locking for a brief second before he looked away.

“You were falling asleep.. Again..” He whispered, glancing at you as you yawned.

“Yeah, I know.” You sighed, rubbing your forehead, before continuing your note taking, there were certain moments you were thankful for Peter, and this was one of them.

He always seemed to know when you needed him, it was like he could sense it, sure you knew he was Spider-Man, but his senses were for when he knew people were in trouble, and the last you checked you were totally fine, except maybe sleep deprived.

You made a mental note to kill Tony later.

Your classes went by in a blur, you had gone to your English class, fell asleep there, went to lunch, took another nap, also where Peter once again woke you up as lunch was ending, then to History, where you once again found yourself sleeping, then lastly your Math class, where once again Peter saved you from being caught sleeping.

It was getting to the point where Peter was worried for you well-being, each time he saw you all day you looked even worse than before, he knew you drank coffee, but that didn’t even seem to be helpful today.

Normally when he saw you, you looked brighter and happier, of course with your coffee in your hand too, but whenever you’d see each other a huge smile would appear on your face, making his heart race.

But today was different, he’d spent the entire day worrying about you, making sure you were okay and not zoning out too much.

Everyone knew Peter liked you, it was as obvious as it could be, except to you, you seemed to be the only one who couldn’t see what everyone else did.

The final bell rang, meaning school was over, and you could go home and take the nap you dreadfully needed.

You were quick to exit the building, however Peter and Ned were right behind you, just making sure you were okay.

“Dude, what is with her today? She fell asleep during English and History.” Ned commented, making Peter’s eyes fill with worry.

“I know, she zoned out in Chem, and then fell asleep in Math.” Peter bit his lip nervously, watching as you impatiently waited for the subway.

“I bet you helped her didn’t you.” Ned wiggled his eyebrows at Peter, making his eyes widen, and hit his best friend.

“Why don’t you just announce it to the whole world Ned.” Peter whisper shouted, making Ned snort out in response.

“Bro, everyone knows you have a thing for Y/N, it’s clear as day.” Ned laughed, before walking to the subway that had arrived, Peter rolling his eyes as he followed behind.

You however were sitting on the subway, your head leaning against the window as your eyes fell shut.

Peter saw you asleep once again, and there was no way he was going to let anything happen to you, therefore, he sat down in the seat next to you, and rode the subway all the way to the Avengers building.

Once arrived, he shook your shoulder slightly, making your eyes slowly open, then look to see who woke you, a smile spreading across your lips as you saw it was Peter.

“We gotta stop meeting like this Parker.” You joked lightly, making him laugh with you as you both got up and off the subway.

You both walked into the building, your mind snapping into reality as you went on the hunt for Tony.

“I’ll be right back, make yourself at home, which you basically kind of are already?” You laughed, making him laugh too, before you disappeared down the hallway.

“Parker! Just the man I was looking for.” Bucky grinned, making him gulp nervously.

“Uh, yes?” Peter questioned, as Bucky wrapped his arm around his shoulders, walking him into the kitchen where Natasha and Steve were both sitting.

“So we’re just going to cut to the chase, you like Y/N, which is so painfully obvious so don’t even try to deny it.” Nat gave him a look, making his cheeks tint bright red.

“Therefore, you need to tell her already so she can stop talking about you all day long it’s extremely irritating.” Nat groaned, making Steve laugh while Bucky rolled his eyes, Peter however felt his face on fire.

“You see Peter, Y/N, she’s my sister, whether you knew that or not, but I like to protect my family, and since she’s the only family I have left, I will do whatever it takes to make sure she’s happy.” Bucky sat Peter down on a chair, him sitting across, watching Peter intently.

“I-I would n-never hurt her.” Peter stammered out, his eyes wide filled with fear, he wouldn’t ever admit it, but Bucky scared the shit out of him, he had heard of him when he was the Winter Soldier, which was even more terrifying.

“Good, as long as it stays that way, I won’t have a problem with you dating my sister. But if you hurt her, I will kill you.” Bucky threatened, making Peter’s heart stop for a brief moment as Bucky started to laugh, making Peter nervously laugh with him.

“Now since that’s over, we need to go, you stay here, okay?” Steve grinned mischievously, as they all stood up, leaving Peter alone in the kitchen.

“Bucky! Quit pushing me! I promise I wasn’t going to hit him that hard!” Peter heard Y/N yelling down the hallway, he chuckled to himself knowing you had found Tony and apparently got caught before you could act out your feelings.

“Go, talk, mingle, I don’t know what young teens to anymore.” Bucky groaned, pushing you into the kitchen and blocking the door.

“H-Hey Y/N..” Peter stuttered, making your eyes light up at the sight of him.

You weren’t going to lie, you had a thing for your brunette haired friend, he was super cute and adorable and you always wanted to squish his face.

“Hey, did they scare you at all?” You laughed, sitting down next to him at the table.

“A bit, not going to lie.” He chuckled, making you groan and laugh.

“But they did tell me a few things, which is why I need to tell you something.” Peter played with his fingers nervously, instantly making you anxious.

You knew you shouldn’t have trusted them with your secrets, you expected since they were Avengers they could keep a tiny secret, but nope, you were wrong.

“Y/N, I really like you, I have for a while, and every time I see you my heart races and you’re so beautiful and.. Will you go out with me?” Peter smiled nervously, making you blush and look at him happily.

“Peter, I really like you too.” You whispered, grabbing one of his hands gently, before giggling quietly to yourself.

“And I would love to go out with you.” You smiled, creating a goofy smile on his face too.

“Thank god, I was so nervous.” Peter blurted out, making the two of you laugh.

“Lord, that was long, so glad that is over, you all are terrible at hiding your emotions you know? Everyone knew you liked each other, except for you two, you were both so oblivious.” Natasha laughed, walking into the kitchen with Steve and Bucky.

You both just blushed, embarrassed, but you didn’t mind at the same time, you finally had your crush, and he had his, and you both couldn’t be any happier.

Awkward

Pairing: Peter Parker x reader

Description: You and Peter have been best friends for about a year now, and one day you get a call from your dad, Tony Stark, and he starts to act super weird. 

Requested by: Anon

Tags: @zook7430 @maxisprettygay

A/N: Like always, inform me if you want a part 2 :)


Originally posted by vintagejosh

“That may be the dumbest thing I have ever heard!” You laugh, talking to one of your best friends, Peter Parker. You were outside for gym class, but no one was really doing anything so you two, Michelle, and Ned were just sitting down on the grass. “Oh, come on, you know that was a UFO last night! Don’t even try to tell me it wasn’t,” He retorts, grinning widely. “Okay, I think the conclusion is that you two are both huge dorks,” Michelle interrupts, making you all laugh.

All of a sudden your phone rings and you press the home button to see the face of your dad, Tony Stark. “Got to take this,” you tell them and head over to a tree away from everyone. “Yes?” you ask, leaning against the tree. “What did I tell you about just saying “Yes?” when you answer the phone. A “Hello dad, how are you?” would be great,” “Hello dad, how are you?” you say, smiling and rolling your eyes. “I’m doing well, thank you. Hey, um, I’m going to send someone over to pick you up after school and bring you to Stark Industries. I have to work a little later today and I’m not sure if I’m okay with you being home alone for that long with everything going on,” 

“Ugh, okay. What time do you think we will get home?” “6:00ish” You sigh deeply. “Fine. See you then.” “I’ll see you,” You hang up and trudge over to your friends. “What’s up?” Ned asks. “Nothing,” you respond, “Just have to go to Stark Industries after school ‘til 6:00. I’m going to be bored out of my mind.” “How could you be bored at Stark Industries, dude?” Michelle asks. Before you can answer, you get interrupted by Peter. “Wait, why would you go to Stark Industries?” he asks. “Oh, yeah, don’t you have an internship there? Anyways, I guess this never came up in a conversation but my dad is Tony Stark,”

 He starts to laugh in bits. “You um… you uh… you don’t… heh your last name isn’t Stark… though?” “When have I ever told you my last name?” “Uh… okay. So you are Tony Stark’s daughter.  That’s…” he gulped, “cool, very uh… nice,” He started nervously laughing even more and got up. “I gotta… leave,” “We’re in class,” Michelle obviously states. “Yeah, well you know what they say…” and he rapidly walks towards the school. “What are you doing? Come back here!” Your gym teacher shouts, sitting down eating a Twinkie. Then he just swats at the air and continues looking at his phone. It’s been quite an odd gym class.

Pit-A-Pat (Part 2)

Originally posted by nnochu

fuckboy!jungkook // high school au

PART 1

Pairing: Jungkook X Reader

Genre: Smuttish, Romance

Word Count: 1,665

Description: It all started when Jeon Jungkook moved into the house next door during the first year of high school. His popularity was given as his looks are extraordinary, and not to mention his outstanding grades. Everyone thinks of Jungkook as the perfect person with his good looks, perfect grades, and rich parents. However, Y/N thinks apart from that.

A/N: part 2 after so many months sorry lol


Keep reading

Day Three | Part 3

Summary: You have a crush on Peter, but Peter has eyes for someone else. Will you ever get the boy of your dreams or will you have to remain friends and move on?

Characters: Peter Parker (Tom Holland) x Reader

Warnings: None

Word Count: 1,274

A/N: I’m on a roll guys!! I would also like to thank every single one of you for sending me feedback and loving everything so far. I haven’t been this excited to write, in a really long time, so thank you! Part two can be found here.


It was Twin Day at school today and you had coordinated with Michelle to be punk rockers. Typical theme, but it got the job done. In the morning, you both pestered Ned to take pictures of the both of you. Ned, however, was missing his twin, Peter, who hadn’t shown up to school yet. You didn’t see him leave the building this morning or the train. You thought he would be here with all the excitement that happened yesterday with him. It wasn’t also typical for Peter Parker to be skipping school, maybe Tony Stark had just kept him for the day, and the school excused him.

As the warning bell rang to get to class, Liz out of all people approached you.

“(Y/N)! Do you know where Peter is? I want to talk to him about Homecoming,” she said.

“No, I haven’t seen him this morning. None of us had. You should try ringing him,” you said.

“I did, he didn’t pick up. Oh well. Thanks,” and with that Liz was on her way to homeroom and so were you and Michelle.


Keep reading

worst student ❖ sehun

anon requested: Oh I just saw the reqs are open 👀 Can I request a Sehun or Jongin fic, some teacherxstudent thing if you’re not uncomfortable with it & he’s kinda seducing her

(gif not mine, credits to the owner)

2355 words | semi-smut | velvet

✎ Mr. Oh is your new Math teacher and you both know that you suck at Math, but to pass the year you need help and he’s willing to give it to you.


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