somebody else sort it out for me

George Harrison, Friar Park, 1970. Photo © Barry Feinstein, courtesy of GeorgeHarrison.com.

“I thought a lot about whether to do ‘My Sweet Lord’ or not. Having written it, I thought it’s really committing meself to something. There’s gonna be a lot of people who are gonna really hate me. Because people fear the unknown, you see. It’s some sort of instinct in people. The point was that I was sticking me neck out on the chopping block. But at the same time, I thought, 'Well, nobody’s saying it.’ It would be… 'I wish somebody else was doing it.’ So that, uh, you know, to represent, cos, you know, everything should be represented in a way. If everybody’s just going, 'Be bop, baby,’ you know, okay?” - George Harrison, Living in the Material World

“At that time, nobody was committed to that type of music in the pop world. There was, I felt, a real need for that, so rather than sitting and waiting for somebody else, I decided to do it myself. A lot of times we think, ‘Well, I agree with you, but I’m not going to actually stand up and be counted. Too risky.’ Everybody is always trying to keep themselves covered, stay commercial, so I thought, just do it. Nobody else is, and I’m sick of all these young people just boogeying around, wasting their lives, you know. Also, I felt that there were a lot of people out there who would be reached. I still get letters from people saying, ‘I have been in the Krishna temple for three years, and I would have never known about Krishna unless you recorded the All Things Must Pass album.’ So I know, by the Lord’s grace, I am a small part in the cosmic play.” - George Harrison on the album All Things Must Pass in an interview with Mukunda Goswami, 1982

||   ★   continued from @svperstars x ★   ||

“Are you pouting at me?” Frey teased, taking in the look on the other’s face with a small smile on his own. “Because if you think that’s gonna convince me, you’re mistaken, it’s not going to work.” That was a lie if he were honest, he was a gigantic softie at heart and didn’t take a lot to win him over. “You forget I still know how to take things - so I’d know for a fact if somebody else tried it.”

The Advice I Taught Myself

I’ve been sitting on my hands for a while, honestly.

Before, in an email to an old friend, I said I wasn’t writing as much because I was like a lion—watching, waiting, thinking, ready to leap on the next project when the timing was perfect. But it’s not really true. I’ve just been sitting on my hands. 

Sometimes, there is a benefit to waiting. You can sort things out. And that’s what I’ve been doing. Sorting a lot of things out. The cement has been drying a bit. I’m becoming who I really am, in both the good and bad way. But I’m also craving change, rapidly. It is confusing in this sense: in one swift movement, I find myself stubborn in who I am and wanting to be somebody else, a little. 

And so that’s what happened. I think I am a slightly different me that feels all the same things but works them in different ways. It happened when I started to trust myself, and allowed myself to teach myself things. These were things I already knew,  and things that people had already taught me. Some of them were things I had said. But here’s the kicker: advice can be given out all you want, but you have to teach yourself that advice over and over again before it sticks. You have to believe it.

But here’s what I taught myself: 

I believed there would be perfect timing. There isn’t. There never would be. i learned I’m shit with money. I learned that I need a few good friends and a lot of time to myself. I learned that to back yourself away from things doesn’t mean you’re a bad friend or person. I learned I can give my whole heart to a person. I learned to stare at my own body and see it for what it was. Then I began running, almost 6 times a week. And I like running. And I’m kind of a coward sometimes. I learned that coconut oil is actually delicious. I learned that I am a lot like my family, and a lot not like them, and you can live in harmony with these things and be at peace with them, too. I learned I want a stable life but also have a tendency to crave things that aren’t so stable. And eye cream gives me pimples. I learned I can get on an airplane without crying. I learned my anxiety has a real name. And that I think about food more than most people, and will do so forever. And that I have the tendency to push away emotion. And that I’d rather cry by myself. And that I only really like to drink vodka and rosé. And that I sleep better when I drink 2 times a week, so that’s what I do now. And that I can weigh myself now. That dairy makes me sick and I like cooking vegan food. And I need to make real goals. And that I need to start a new website (yes, I do). And a new book proposal. And that I should give out less advice. And that sports bras are cute enough to wear during the day.

And that I am smarter and better than I was at 22, and I need to write and find ways to show that to the world.

So that’s where I am. I’m still here. I’m better. I don’t know where I’m going, but I promise:

I’ll keep you posted. And I’m back. Hi.