Tony:[On phone] No, no, no, it’s not you, it’s just… well, you know, these things run their course and… well, you, you have to accept that…
Bucky: Personal call, Stark?
Tony: Yes. Go away.
Bucky: Somebody being dumped?
Tony:[Covers mouthpiece] How do you tell someone you don’t want to see them?
Bucky: Listen, Dirtbag, this is Tony’s husband. I have your phone number now. I can find your address. If you ever try to contact him again, I will reach down your throat, grab your intestines, rip them out and drive over your head. Lose this number or lose your life.
Bucky: You’re welcome.
Tony: That was my aunt, Angie Martinelli. Aunt Peggy’s best friend. She was trying to end her relationship with her boyfriend at her retirement center.
Bucky: Why didn’t you stop me?
Tony: Too stunned.
Bucky: Where do I send flowers?
Tony: If you ever try to talk to her again, she will fly up here and kill you.
Summary: Pietro Maximoff has a tattoo that he got when he was drunk, and he wants it gone. What happens when he comes to you for help?
Characters: Reader, Pietro Maximoff, Wanda Maximoff, Sam Wilson, Natasha Romanoff, Steve Rogers
Warnings: Lasers, secondhand embarrassment, not much else.
Author’s Note: Hi there! This is my first attempt at a writing challenge, set forth by the lovely @sgtbxckybxrnes and I had fun! I have to tell you, I know nothing about laser tattoo removal other that what I found from quick searches on Google. This was inspired by an episode of How I Met Your Mother. This is in Pietro’s POV, sort of. You’ll see what I mean. I hope you like it! My prompt was This. Never. Happened.
(Gif credit to owner)
“I can’t believe this is happening,” groaned out Pietro in his accented voice. He was staring at his reflection in the mirror, trying to clearly see his marked skin. His friends were all laughing loudly from the living room, which was not at all helping his hangover. Pietro walked out of the bathroom to face the room of laughing idiots.
Pietro woke up this morning, and disregarding his pounding head and dry mouth, he felt good. After his break-up, Piet was finally feeling like the world was back in order. At least until he spotted the road-runner tattoo’d on his left bicep. His parents would be so disappointed.
As Pietro walked into the room, his roommate and best friend Sam made a comment.
“So why a road-runner, Wile E. Coyote?” This earned more laughs.
You were having doubts about
Yoongi’s story and you could tell that everybody else was beginning to feel the
same way as you, Yoongi and exercise were not a match made in heaven, in fact
they just weren’t a match made at all. Yoongi would die before he did exercise
and then by that point it would be way too late. But you didn’t know whether or
not the doubt was just due to the situation at hand, because it was extremely
intense and so doubt was bouncing off the walls. You looked around the circle
and everybody’s faces remained blank. The culprit had a great poker face, you
had to hand it to them they were most definitely doing a fantastic job at covering their back. But somebody was lying and the realisation of that fact
was setting everyone on edge.
“So how about you Namjoon?” You
asked quietly, still trying to make sure no one from outside would knock on the
“Ah yes last night I was at the
library.” Namjoon said ‘matter-of-factly’, looking you directly in the eye. He
seemed as though he was telling the truth as there was an ample amount of
confidence in his voice, so you were about to move on to the next suspect when
all of a sudden Yoongi embedded some doubt into the forefront of your mind.
“You went to a Library at night.
I’ll repeat that again for you Namjoon and every single pair of ears that care
to listen to my objection, just so you can catch my drift. A library. At night.
Do you see where this isn’t really matching up? What library opens at night?
You’re not a university student Namjoon you don’t have access to a higher
education library so what library could you possibly have visited at night? And
why haven’t I heard of this ‘late night’ library?” Yoongi crossed his hands smiling smugly
at Namjoon. He really trapped him with that statement and now your eyes were
wide, Yoongi had a point, what type of library was open at night.
Namjoon continued to speak as
calmly as he had started in the beginning.
“There’s been a new 24 hour library that opened, it was first opened two weeks
ago and I still hadn’t had the chance to visit it, supposedly it was pretty big
so I wanted to see for myself. I decided it was time to go visit last night.
It’s like two towns away from here. It is zone 2 on the central city train if
“Stop with the unnecessary
information, you’re stalling so you can think up new and plausible ideas!”
Taehyung hissed, stamping his foot on the floor just right of Rina’s face. You
looked up at Namjoon’s face but he still seemed calm and collected. You weren’t
sure if he had an amazing poker face or whether or not he was just really
innocent. You had never doubted the seven men standing before you so much in
the years that you’d known them. You never even thought any of them would be
capable of such a heinous act.
“I’m not stalling; you wanted
information so I was giving it to you and besides, you’ve not heard of it
because you don’t read. Why would a dunce like you be familiar with library
updates?”Namjoon scoffed. He flicked his eyes towards Yoongi and back down
towards Rina’s body. “I went to the library to check it out, I read a little
bit and did a little research. The usual stuff you get up to when you’re at a
“Did some research on what?” Jin
laughed sarcastically rolling his eyes and hanging his head on the side. “How
to kill a woman?”
“So there’s CCTV proof of this
then?” Hoseok asked scowling at Namjoon from where he was stood, but Namjoon’s
face was still unchanging and he remained calm.
“Are you sure because I can check
right now?” Hoseok said, walking away from Rina’s body over to his desk and
logging in to his computer. Namjoon frowned at him. Were you sensing a slight
crack in his demeanour now, or was your mind just playing tricks on you?
“How do you have access?”
“It’s not hard to hack into a CCTV
system.” Hoseok said, typing a few codes on the keyboard and loading multiple
“So is killing a woman Namjoon!”
Hoseok hissed, whipping his head back and shooting Namjoon a hateful glare. You
all walked over to the computer screen, looking at the many screens
Hoseok had loaded, and then you realised that it was true Namjoon was in the
library. Namjoon let out a breath of relief, whilst the others let out a breath
of what seemed to be frustration. The more people that were eliminated meant the more likely it was for the suspect to be caught. You were all just about to walk back to Rina’s
body when Hoseok spoke up.
“Hang on a minute!” He said
pointing at the screen. “The time and date stamp at the bottom seems a bit off
to me. This was at 9PM; me and Y/N were still here at 9PM. She couldn’t have
been dead by then because me and Y/N left at 9:15PM, so she could only have
been killed from that point on. What were you doing after 9 Namjoon?” Hoseok
looked up, smiling haughtily into Namjoon’s face.
Namjoon stuttered a bit. His calm
demeanour was beginning to falter and you frowned; now you weren’t so sure that
Namjoon was telling the truth after all, it was as though he had planned this
for proof, but unfortunately for him, the timings were not working out well.
Who’s to say he didn’t come back after you and Hoseok left and kill her then.
“I-I just took a slow stroll home.
It was a nice night so why not?” He knitted his brows together, as you all
began to walk back to the body and positioned yourself in the circle you’d been
“What. A nice night to kill a
woman?” Jimin sneered, pointing at Rina’s corpse on the ground.
“I did not kill Rina.”Namjoon
hissed quietly, turning his head to the office door and back around to the
You cleared your throat, shaking
“So…where’s your alibi?”
Inside this new love, die. Your way begins on the other side. Become the sky. Take an axe to the prison wall. Escape. Walk out like somebody suddenly born into colour. Do it now. You’re covered with thick cloud. Slide out the side. Die, and be quiet. Quietness is the surest sign that you’ve died. Your old life was a frantic running from silence.
The speechless full moon comes out now.
(translated from the Persian by Coleman Barks with John Moyne)
Slender: Balls! /Sally: Sir please do not fucking swear around me
Can somebody do a redraw of that comic where Person A covers Person B’s ears after C says Fuck, and then goes to punch C after B says it. Person A is like, Liu or something, B is Sally and C is Slender.
“In the darkness, two shadows, reaching through the hopeless, heavy dusk. Their hands meet, and light spills in a flood like a hundred golden urns pouring out of the sun.”
1. I’m Gonna Be (500 Miles)// Sleeping at Last, 2. Shattered//Trading Yesterday, 3. Arms// Christina Perri, 4. Oblivion// Bastille, 5. Take Me to Church// Hozier, 6. Crazy in Love// L’Orchestra Cinematique, 7. Somebody to Die For// Kiki Covers, 8. Like Real People Do// Hozier, 9. Grow Old With Me// Tom Odell,10. Be My Forever// Christina Perri ft. Ed Sheeran, 11. All I Need// Awolnation, 12. Sun// Sleeping at Last, 13. How the Day Sounds // Greg Laswell
- Bravado - Royals - Million Dollar Bills - The Love Club - Biting Down - Tennis Court - 400 Lux - Ribs - Buzzcut Season - Team - Glory and Gore - Still Sane - White Teeth Teens - A World Alone - Yellow Flicker Beat - No Better - Good Fights - Lost Boys - Magnets (Disclosure feat. Lorde) - Team, Ball, Player, Thing (w/ other NZ people) - Meltdown (Stromae feat. Pusha T, Q-Tip, Haim & Lorde) - This Is Not A Game (The Chemical Brothers feat. Miguel & Lorde) - Piece of Mind (And They Were Masked feat. Lorde) - Flicker (Kanye West rework) - Bravado (FFFRRANNNO remix) - Tennis Court (Flume remix) - Swinging Party (The Replacements cover) - Everybody Wants To Rule The World (Tears for Fears cover) - Easy (Switched Screens) (Son Lux cover) - Ladder Song (Bright Eyes cover) - Mama Do (Pixie Lott cover) - Use Somebody (Kings of Leon cover) - Hold my Liquor (Kanye West cover) - Heavenly Father (Bon Iver cover) - Young Blood (The Naked and Famous cover) - Retrograde (James Blake cover) - Don’t tell ‘em (Jeremih cover) - All Apologies (Nirvana cover) - Flashing Lights (Kanye West cover) - Sweet Dreams (Eurythmics cover) - Strong Enough (w/ HAIM) (Sheryl Crow cover) - Buffalo (Phoenix Foundation cover)
The recruits at the New Avengers facility soon learn about the Red Code as well, when Steve offers a demonstration of fighting techniques and Bucky, ofc, volounteers to be the sparring partner. Ten minutes in, things get... um... interesting (that's *one* way to pin your enemies do- could somebody please cover Vision's eyes?poor thing's not even 5 months old!). If nothing, the young agents learn to vacate the premises ASAP whenever these two make eyes at each other
I LIKE THE WAY YOU THINK, NANI.
Everyone has come to realize that the Rogers-Barnes sparring matches are not so much actual matches as they are unapologetic foreplay.
Bucky will tell anyone who listens that he won’t actually spar with Steve for reasons best left in the dark, so any time the two of them get on the mat together, it’s best to either leave immediately or, if your name is Natasha Romanoff, sit back and enjoy the show. (“Get out, Romanoff.” “This is a public space, Barnes, you can’t make me.”)
Of course, some brilliant soul realizes the cause of the sparring matches and so a list of gym rules is made, the first of which is: Barnes & Rogers are not allowed to use the equipment at the same time.
Because if Steve sees Bucky lifting weights in his clingy singlet, muscles rippling attractively, or if Bucky catches Steve at the punching bags and is witness to the way his body (ass) moves with each hit. If either of them are allowed to track the sweat dripping down arms, faces, necks, or see smooth skin turn pink and warm with exertion.
Well, then. Someone is going to sidle up to the other with a self-satisfied grin, definitely getting closer than is strictly necessary, and trail hands over slick skin, pick teasingly at the waistband of their work out shorts, and ask if they’re interested in a match.
hey freddy fazbear even though the pay is shitty i’m working as the new night guard and i really need the money that much is true some guy called and he said you move what can i do
hey freddy fazbear i see your friends are up and running now they’re staring at the cameras that chicken and the bunny those soulless eyes i wanna get off so stop the ride i’m terrified
oh it’s what you’ll do to me oh it’s what you’ll do to me oh it’s what you’ll do to me oh it’s what you’ll do to me i’m trying not to scream
hey freddy fazbear i know times are getting hard they say they’re closing down the restaurant cuz foxy bit a kid right in the head the frontal lobe was gone, he said he should be dead
hey freddy fazbear y’know it’s almost six o’clock a few more hours here and then i really should be getting off it’s the fourth night and now my power’s getting tight phone guy was right
oh it’s what you’ll do to me oh it’s what you’ll do to me oh it’s what you’ll do to me oh it’s what you’ll do to me i think i just peed
i don’t know exactly what you are but i know sharp teeth will leave some scars i should close the doors, don’t think there’s another way something slammed into the door i think it’s foxy, that little whore why does he insist on doing this every day
freddy i can promise you one more night and then i’m through i don’t think i can fit into that suit that big bear suit
hey freddy fazbear i have the feeling you won’t miss me one more hour of this bullshit then my job here is history oh don’t you know i’ll be getting out of here real soon you know it’s all because of you i’ve almost died here, it’s too soon stuffed in a suit
oh it’s what you’ll do to me oh it’s what you’ll do to me oh it’s what you’ll do to me oh it’s what you’ll do to me lasted five nights at freddy’s
“I don’t think real instrumentation and real music will ever die,” Walker asserts, looking back on a career that’s contextualized pop through rock and rock through pop. It’s included collaborations with P!nk, Avril Lavigne, Weezer, Katy Perry and production on Swift and Ed Sheeran’s 2013 collab “Everything Has Changed.” In the new episode, Walker explains how his folk/bluegrass cover of “You Belong With Me” got him in touch with Taylor, and how he’s been working on music with her friend and former backing singer Elizabeth Huett, who’s launching a solo career herself.
Chris Payne, Billboard: Yeah and even from those direct personal connections, you’ve worked with people like Taylor Swift and Ed Sheeran on “Everything Has Changed,” like a huge song.
Butch Walker: Yeah it’s cool I mean that was again, one of those situations where, you know, Taylor didn’t
probably know much about me, cause I’m, you know, I don’t know, I am probably not on everyone’s radar, and that’s great, that’s fine, it was more, she heard me do a cover of one of her songs, somebody sent it to her. And I did a little cover of “You Belong With Me” that I did kind of more in the vein of like a, almost like a folk bluegrass version of it I guess.
It was fun, I had a spare night at my studio and got bored and wanted to do it, cause I love that song.
Chris Payne: Yeah
And she hit me up on twitter the next day and was like “Hey can I call you?” and I was like, “Yeah, of course.” And so she called me and she was like, “Hey I love this song so much and I love this version. I gotta go play it on the Grammy’s next week, do you want to come like, play it with me and let’s do your version?” And I was like, “Well that’s weird and that’s awesome, yeah, lets do it, that sounds great.”
So I just I love people like that… she controls her, you know…she steers her ship. And I think that led to going in the studio after that. She was like “Hey we should work on something for my next record.” And I just like it when it happens organically like that, you know?
Chris Payne: Yeah, how was that Grammy performance?
Butch Walker: It was fun, I’ve never done anything like that, so, it was fun. I’ve done plenty of TV taping things.
Chris Payne: Right.
Butch Walker: But, it was cool cause she didn’t just like stick me way in the background, she was like, “I wanna make sure you up right beside me, playing.“ And so, it was fun. I got to play a banjolin, you know. I said as long can play the banjolin, you know, on national TV, then, that’ll would be fun.