some of the writing made me cringe

I found some of my old writing I posted on here 2 years ago and 💀 it made me cringe but it also made me happy because thanks to it I continued writing and it became such a big passion 😊

anonymous asked:

I don't RP because a lot of things felt more geared towards shipping, which is absolutely fine, but just wasn't want I was interested in. It felt like you found our plots boring in comparison, and like those romance ships were what you really wanted to write. Some people are here to enjoy writing their ships, and that's okay.

Tell me why we don’t RP?

//Nonny, I’m so sorry I made you feel that way! Really, I am!

I don’t know how recently we tried to write together, but I like to think I’ve improved since I first started. I do cringe thinking about my first weeks of RP! I realize now I was forcing ships left and right, and that’s just not cool, and I’m super sorry if I did that to you. (Sometimes I worry I’m still guilty of it, and I try to watch myself really closely)

I do enjoy shipping, and I love writing romance. I’ll admit that for sure. But I also enjoy writing other things and I want to write other things!

Again, I’m really sorry for making you feel unwanted or second-string. I definitely want to improve, and if you feel like giving me another chance, please come talk to me! <3

reblogxmins  asked:

I'm just going to tell you Over the Moon was the best fucking thing I've read in so long like some people write fluff horribly I'm sorry but it makes me want to cringe. But that THAT was so good AHHH I needed to send you this message because I reread the story twice just in case I missed anything. Know I'm going to binge read anything I didn't already of yours <3

Ajxjejxkdkxkck this made me smile so big and scream and kick my pillows and my sisters giving me the dirtiest look but this made me so giddy?? I love u!! Thank u for reading my stuff ❤️

i’ve been wondering abt Fareeha’s last name. Fareeha is obvi faree7a, فاريحة, but Amari? Its not gonna be Qamari bc pronunciation in egyptian colloquial isnt considered official like Amar (Moon) is the colloquial pronunciation, but u’ll write it as Qamar if ur texting. and even if some people will write it literally as the colloquial pronunciation, the last name is gonna be written as the proper arabic pronunciation. 

But there’s no such thing as a last name being ‘Qamari’, so its probably 3mari bc the letter ‘ع’ has no english equivalent so its subsitutied with A or O depending on the word. But then again ‘3mari’ isnt a last name tbh….its probs 3amri, like Amr but with a short ‘ee’ at the end, but ofc Westerners fuck up writing any names of poc they wrote it Amari.

So Pharah’s name is Faree7a 3amri, فريحة عمري, and i cant believe i wrote an entire post on just her name.


Remember how I said I wanted to start over as I started this blog as thedreamingbelle? Well, I kinda feel stuck again nor do I still feel like that branding suits me. With the recent changes I’ve been making in how i present and write my content; I felt the need to make some room for change. Hence, changing my blog name and url. 

So why didn’t I delete everything or moved to a different platform? Well, unlike my old blog way back in high school, I am still convinced that the few posts I made here since 2014 definitely still speaks a lot about me (though some of them kinda make me cringe and makes me wonder why I wrote about such things). And I don’t feel like leaving tumblr completely, I have grown in this website and I cherish all the memories I’ve made here. For the reasons as to why I create content, I think tumblr is still the right avenue for me. 

Now, why Carmie? Simple, it’s my first name (actually it’s Dianne Carmie) but using Carmie instead of both did sound fancy. I realized that it’s about time I embrace my identity. I could have used my nickname but it’s kinda overused because all of my social media accounts are named after it. 

Thus, here I am again, feeling bits of excitement and apprehension. I really hope that this time I will be able to post on a regular basis. I have some trouble with consistency because life is just so hectic sometimes. 

why would you do this?

you know what i really hate? when someone objectifies a celebrity (or a person who is well-known/has a large following) and calls them an idol. like why? it makes me cringe so much. they’re literally people who worked away at whatever it was that they were good at (i.e. singing, making music, doing youtube, taking photos, writing novels etc) and you just decide to idolise them? that really pisses me off, not only because it’s cheesy and cringe worthy, but you’re literally worshipping a person. a person. just like you. only they chiseled away at their talents and made their dreams into reality.

i hate that so much, and i hate the fact that some people are walking around saying “oh, so-and-so is my idol etc”. not trying to be all dark and depressing on you all, but your so-called “idols” are human at the end of the day, and they will die. they’re not your god (and don’t you EVER associate them with that because you’ll probably end up in the lowest pit of hell until the end of time) and you don’t have to obsess over them. they’re just human, like you and me. so instead of idolising, just say something like “i’m a fan of so-and-so’s work” and there, job done.
move along, there’s nothing to see here but a rant about idolising that will fall into a void (and get like 5 notes at most) and get buried with a load of reblogs also flooding into that void…

anonymous asked:

I'm really bad at creating imagery. I have been trying to explain a Scenery of a town. I want to create a creepy/mysterious mood. I'm trying to say the sky is gray, but all I can say is "the sky was gray.." that's it. How do I get better at this? Is this a skill that can't be taught? Because I've been struggling with this for a long time. Is there an article/site/blog post that can help me?

Imagery takes time and practice. Lots of practice. You’re inevitably going to write some scenes and descriptions that later make you cringe, but the good news is: the more you write, the better it gets. And the more you read, the less attempts it will take you to get it right. 

Pull out your favorite books, especially the ones that made you feel something. A book that made you sad? Read through and start to analyze why. A book that made you scared? Find out why. Which scenes gave you goosebumps? Read that scene again and again and begin to pull out the words you see your favorite authors using. 

More often than not, you’ll find it’s not just the words, but the meaning behind the words and the order in which you put them together. For example, you can say that the gray sky looked “abandoned,” literally meaning that there’s no wind or breeze or movement, but implying a very creepy and empty connotation. It’ll take a bit of trial and error, but begin to play with metaphors and don’t be afraid to write something really weird. You can always delete it, and you may just find that you like it!

Here are some more resources I think will help:

Fanfic Authors

A little while ago I saw a post in which someone said that they ‘cringe whenever a fanfic writer even publishes their original work’ That statement made me pretty angry. The implication that we aren’t good enough to write our own stories is absurd. We put in the same amount of time, effort, research and love that published authors do. In some cases more.

We are capable of coming up with our own ideas and characters and to imply that they won’t be as good as a published Author’s is immature and narrow minded. Many popular writers wrote or continue to write Fanfiction and use the platform to improve their craft. Including;

Orson Scott Card…..(Enders game)

Lev Grossman…(The Magicians) (Wrote in the Harry Potter, Adventure time, and How to Train your Dragon fandom.)

R.J Anderson…(Knife, Rebel, Arrow)

Lois Mcmaster Bujold…(The Voroksigan saga) (Wrote in the Star Wars fandom)

Meg Cabot…(The Princess Diaries) (Wrote Star Wars as a child)

Cassandra Clare..(The Mortal Instruments) (Wrote Harry Potter and Lord of the Rings)

S.E Hinton…(The outsiders) (Wrote/writes Supernatural fanfic)

Neil Gaiman…(American Gods, Coraline, Stardust, and many more) (Wrote in the Narnia, Sherlock holmes fandom)

Naomi Novak…(Her Majesty’s Dragon, Uprooted) (Wrote a Master and Commander fanfic)

You can find a list of confirmed published Authors who wrote fanfic here. There were 151 when I looked just a few minutes ago.

Writing fanfcition dosen’t mean that you can’t write and publish your own stories, and anyone who thinks that it does is an idiot.

Writing Fanfiction is nothing to be ashamed of.

BTS Reaction to a Prank Gone Wrong.

A/N: My first reaction request! Aha! I had to dig deep into my past to pull up memories of awful pranks that made me cry as a kid to write this. I am cringing. Some of these were hard to do especially Jin’s. Mostly because pranks that make people cry are often really cruel jokes.

Seokjin: (I can’t imagine Jin pranking someone to a degree that they cry..)

There was nothing more that you hated than spiders. Jesus Christ, they were awful. You were staying the night at the Dorm, a rare occurrence mostly since the boys were rarely there these days. So, when you were all nestled into your boyfriend’s bed, one leg haphazardly dangling from the edge of the bed that you grew nervous at the tickling sensation crawling up your leg. You pulled the cover back and let out a scream, seeing a small tarantula crawling slowly up your leg. You couldn’t move, you couldn’t breathe, and you felt a sob rip through you. Seokjin was stifling laughter from behind you and the rest of the boys all came to investigate. He thought this was funny?

“Kim Seokjin!” you wailed, tears falling down your cheeks and he knew you didn’t find this amusing.

“Jagi, it was a prank…” Seokjin murmured and you weren’t laughing, Jungkook and Jimin were. But, you continued to cry.

“This isn’t funny! Get it off! Get it off me!” you tried to move your leg and it fell to the floor, you were still wailing and screaming.

Originally posted by minniesuga

Yoongi: (I feel like some of the hyung line is just way too mature..) 

Normally, you were used to the late nights and early mornings when it came to your boyfriend Min Yoongi. It was standard. But, this week was encompassed in a prank war with Jimin and Taehyung. With work being light, you were bored waiting for Yoongi, one day it went too far, you had rigged a bucket of ice water over the door, knowing Jimin would just stumble through after practice. This was in retaliation for the sharpie mustache you awoke to yesterday. Just as the door opened, the water splashed down, thought it wasn’t the high-pitched yell of one Park Jimin, but the hoarse grunt of your boyfriend. You stifled a laugh and went through, the apartment to grab a towel. He scowled at you, silent demeanor expected after what you just did. You let him shower and change before apologizing profusely. Yoongi merely kissed your forehead and you both went to bed. When you woke up the next morning, Yoongi had brought you a cup of coffee. You beamed.

“Babe, this is so sweet.” You murmur, taking the cup from him.

“I put too much sugar in the cup is all.” He replied with a shrug and you took a sip. Boy, did you regret taking that sip. Your mouth was on fire and you hated spicy food. Instantly you face heated up and tears welled up in your eyes.

“What the fuck Yoongi,” You coughed, tears falling down your face and he smirked.

“It was only a prank, dear.”

Originally posted by jeonbase

Hoseok: (This sunshine would probably regret this so quick)

He was sweet, the sweetest in the entire world. So, when he jumped out of your bathroom dressed as a clown, you were shocked into tears. You had been having a perfectly fine day, work went well, you weren’t going to have to stay late at the office. You had texted Hoseok, telling him you would be home early. He replied saying he had a surprise for you. You smiled at the thought. You had hoped it was dinner, maybe roses, and champagne. You would also take him lying in bed just reading. It was surprising to come home to find most of the lights off.

 “Hoseok?” You called out to him, walking back into your bedroom and before you could make it to the room, he emerged from your room with a growl. Clown mask making you scream in terror. You hated clowns. More than anything, they always made you cry. It was no surprise that you began to sob. Sitting on your floor with your head in your hands.

“Oh, I am so so sorry!”

Originally posted by bangtannoonas

Namjoon: (He’d realize he don diddly fucked up)

You loved your boyfriend. More than anything. Namjoon, he always had your best interests at heart. Sometimes. though; he was a complete and utter idiot and he demonstrated this by coming home with the worst news you thought you would ever hear. He walked through the door, a frown etched on his face. “Namjoon, what’s wrong?”

“I got a phone call from the vet, Hanzo didn’t make it through the surgery…” Your beloved dog Hanzo was having a minor surgery, but it was still surgery and you felt your chest constrict.

“Wh-What?” You blanched, he put his hand over his mouth while you began to cry.  Looking up, he realized what he did was wrong and when the door opened and Hanzo bounced into your apartment, an exhausted Yoongi attached to the leash that you realized it was a joke and he hugged you. “You thought that was funny?” You were livid and shoved him away.

“It was a prank.”

“A fucking terrible one at that!”

Originally posted by apgujeon

Jimin: (This squish would prank you and then regret making you cry.)

You hummed quietly as you parked your car, exiting the vehicle and heading up the stairs to your apartment. There was a moving truck outside the building and you were curious to see who was moving in or out. You hoped mean old Ms. Cho was moving out of her apartment. She lived next door and often complained about you being too loud when you weren’t doing anything at all. But, never the less, you walked down the hallway to apartment 207, key out and ready to unlock the door. When you opened it however, you were surprised to see all your furniture was gone. What the hell? Had you been robbed?  You scrambled for your phone, breath short, and tears springing to your eyes. You typed in your boyfriends number, hearing it ring two times before he answered.

“Jagi! How are you?”

“Jimin, I’ve been robbed!” You sobbed into the phone, only to hear him laugh. “Park Jimin this is not funny at all!”

“Got you!”  He sang, you could almost see him laughing.

“Got me?” You blanched confused. He laughed again.

“Yeah, you didn’t see the van? ParkTae moving?”

“No, did you steal my stuff?”

“You’ve been pranked Jagi!” He teased and you wiped your eyes. You were going to get him back.

“I’m calling the police.” You ground out and he protested over the phone, telling you he would put all your stuff back if you didn’t call the police.

Originally posted by jikookxkookmin

Taehyung: (This sunshine wouldn’t even realize he did something wrong)

You liked a routine, you liked being punctual more than anything. It was like rack to you. Being on time. So, you set six different alarms for your presentation tomorrow. You had to be up at, at least five in the morning to get ready and do some last-minute tweaking.  Your loving and doting boyfriend had seen how stressed you’d been lately and thought it would be slightly sweet also hilarious to not only change the clocks to a later time but, change your alarm ringtone to him screaming.  So, when you were startled awake at the sound of your boyfriends voice, you woke to the clocks saying it was eight thirty, which happened to be your presentation time. You jumped out of bed, frustrated tears welling in your eyes as Taehyung exited the shower.

“Jagi, what’s the matter?” He asked, concerned as to why you were crying.

“I woke up three hours late and now my presentation is ruined- and why are you snickering?”

“I set the clocks forward.”

“You did what?” You screeched and more tears rolled down your face. He chewed his lips.

“I thought it would be funny to change your alarm tone and let you sleep in, so I changed the clock on your alarm…” He explained and you checked your phone that was charging in the bathroom.


Originally posted by cmtae

Jungkook: (He’d be laughing is as of before apologizing profusely)

You screeched as the masked man chased you the stairs. You had entered your house through the basement door, the front door was being worked on and the locks were being changed. You routinely did this in order to maintain a level of safety for your overly paranoid mind. What you didn’t expect was a man to emerge from the shadows, scream mask on his face and knife in his hand. You felt terror flow through you and you made a beeline through the stairs. You slipped climbing up and began to cry, twisting your ankle, when off the mask came. It revealed you friend Jungkook. Laughter bubbling from his lips and you kicked him. 

“Your face! Oh, my god!”

“I thought I was going to die you punk ass bitch!”

Originally posted by sweaterpawsjimin

IT’S THAT TIME OF THE WEEK AGAIN WHERE I WRITE A LONG POST THAT NO ONE WILL READ because friends, How to get away with murder was on and oh boy do I have some thoughts. Obviously, spoiler alert.

  • Let’s tackle the obvious first: the Coliver scene. No matter how much I’m rooting for their relationship, and how much the “i miss you” made me smile, it happened for all the wrong reasons and I was cringing through all of it. I literally found myself yelling at my screen YOU HAVEN’T SORTED OUT ANY OF YOUR PROBLEMS STOP THIS RIGHT NOW because yeah, this shouldn’t have happened when Oliver was sad and drunk and feeling lonely. Do I believe he genuinely misses Connor? Yes. Do I think he also fell back to him because it was the easiest way to go, and because it was comforting to know he was still wanted by someone after the Thomas debacle? Absolutely. So I’m not happy about this development, but I will acknowledge that it is an honest portrayal of the human mind and of the end of a relationship that the show provided. Oliver and Connor aren’t perfect and they’re bound to make spur-of-the-moment decisions without thinking of the consequences. Bonus: Oliver little mirror scene made my heart go *pof*
  • Second: Wes. He was cute throughout the entire episode, I was proud of how he abstained from shouting at Annalise like the others, the Waurel scene where he confessed how he had had feelings for her since the beginning warmed my heart and it was the liveliest we’d seen him in a long ass time, and then… That Ending. WHAT THE HELL. JUST, WHAT THE HELL. I’m happy he’s alive (tbh when Annalise told him he owed his mother to live a good life I thought it was some nasty foreshadowing) but why would he do that? Why would he snitch on Annalise? I don’t know. I hope we find out more about his motive.
  • Frank. Wyd????? Bein’ such a creep??????? I gasped when we saw him standing in Laurel’s appartment. STOP. I still stand by the fact that he’s one of the most interesting characters of the show but he’s a messed up person. That scene at the end with Bonnie shouting at him honestly gave me chills. A+ acting from the both of them.
  • I won’t talk much about the case of the week because yeah we all understood the parallels of the abusive mother and Annalise but idk I didn’t have grand interest in it but I will say that Laurel. Slayed. Me. When she started talking I felt hella second hand embarrassment but then she surprised me like an absolute queen and won the case. Babe :’)
  • To end this: the Keating5 are really messed up and even though I love them (except Asher fuck yoU Asher) they gotta stop leashing out on Annalise. SHE HAS HER FLAWS BUT SHE’S A RECOVERING ALCOHOLIC WHO TRIES HER BEST TO SAVE Y’ALL ASSES ALL THE TIME CUT HER SOME SLACK.

That was my review of HTGAWM season3 episode7. Feel free to tell me if you shared my opinions or not I JUST WANNA TALK,,,,

Him- Joe Sugg imagine (request)

There he was, standing with his freinds, trying his best to avoid me. There I was, alone in a crowded room, trying to look busy to avoid him. How did we end up this way? We’re not speaking and laughing like we usually do, and I wanna know is it killing him like it’s killing me?

After some few glances from each other, he abandoned his freinds and came up to me. He got closer and it somehow felt like home.

I don’t know what to say, I would say I’m sorry, I miss you, I wish everything didn’t happen because forgetting him was like trying to know somebody you’ve never met and losing him was blue like I’d never known, moving on was the hardest thing of it. But it didn’t happen.

Moments of awkwardness and he starts the conversation. I hate that small talk and I wanna move on, tell him what I really feel.
“You’re enjoying your time ?”
“Yeah yeah I am. What about you?”
“I’m alright.”
“Look, I hate that thing but can we talk about it?”
I gazed into his green eyes and that’s when I remembered it.

*flashback *
“Your cooking is really good.”
“Yeah I know I should get married.”
“Yeah right. I don’t think there’s a girl who matches your weirdness.”
“There is.”
“Yeah there’s me. But obviously I’m not your lover.”
“You could be.”
“Hahah yeah right.”
“I really mean it.”
“Mean what ?”
“I mean I love you. I really do. You’re the only person who understands me and I can’t imagine my life without you.”
“Joe… I don’t know what to say.”
“Say yes.”
“To what?”
“Do you love me?”
“Joe. I can’t think of you like that. I never did.”
“You know I said that because I was sure about the answer. I didn’t want to ruin that whole thing.”
“Yeah well you did.”
“Y/N please I-”
“-I need to think about it myself please.”
“What ? ”
“Just leave me alone.”
“You’re kicking me out of your house?”
“I’m not. Just…. go. Please.”
With that he left and never turned back again.
*end of flashback*

“Ever since that night I thought about it and I really liked you. And every night reminded me of you. Every night I wish I could go back in time and change it but I can’t. You gave me all your love and all I gave you was goodbye. I’m really sorry. I understand if you don’t wanna talk about it. It’s just that I miss you.”
I felt nothing after that. All the pain and the weight was gone. Silence was all that I needed and he gave me that. He stared at me as I couldn’t lift my head from looking at the floor. That was regret and shame.
I could feel my heart bounce from it’s place as he got closer and our lips formed a kiss and somehow I felt back everything. We pulled back, not saying a thing, just gazing into each other’s eyes. That’s how we communicated. By silence. Louder than words.

Our manager broke us from the gaze as he announced 30 seconds till stage. I didn’t care about stage anymore because the only thing I was worried about was him. Turned out there’s nothing to worry about.

Sometime later we were on stage with the other youtubers. Every now and then I could feel his gaze without looking at him. Final question of the live q&a was for me.
“What’s the best thing that happened tonight?” I read the ask.
I looked at him as he smiled and looked down at the floor.
“Him.” I said and the audience went crazy. He looked back and smiled at me. A different smile I can’t describe.
Finally, that Summer In The City party wasn’t that bad. Not at all. Best decision I ever made.
And that’s the last imagine on here till summer. That was the best I could write so tell me your opinions! I got inspired by some T-Swift lyrics for this so if you’re ever interested in the list of songs let me know! And that imagine was so short.
Ps. Sorry for the cringe. I hate it.
See ya…… nxt year 😔.

Exo K reacting to you being in a bad mood

This is like a week late but I was feeling kind of shitty and everything I could come up was cringe worthy angst. But that is just depressing as hell, so instead here is Exo K being supportive and awesome and writing this made me smile, and I hope you feel the same while reading it. 

Sehun: God. Can you imagine? Some days being around him and hearing his sarcastic comments is already enough to get you worked up, and being with Sehun basically is just a roller coaster of emotions, because you love him so much, but you also want to strangle him 30% of the time. Sometimes the way you talk to each other feels like some kind of complicated dance, teasing and sarcastic comments flying back and forth. And when either one of you is really mad the other one just kind of fights back, and there is a lot of shouting and doors being thrown shut. But it’s always just the heat of the moment, and eventually you get yourself together and talk it out. Or you solve your problems with angry sex because Sehun gets kinda dominant when he is pissed off, and that shit is really fucking hot.

Originally posted by sehunijjang

Chanyeol: It’s basically impossible for you to be in a bad mood when he is around, simply because he is always happy and smiling and you just have to do the same the very second he walks into the room. So when you still manage to be grumpy when he is there something really bad must have happened. The first time thus us the case you tell him to shut up his face just kind of falls and you immediately feel sorry and start to apologize. But it takes a little bit more than that to unsettle Chanyeol, and he just makes you tell him what is wrong. And with his arms resting around your midriff and your face nuzzled against the side of his neck whatever has happened doesn’t seem so bad anymore. Because after all, he is still there and you are as happy as you could be.

Originally posted by sefuns

Suho: He would be so annoying when you are mad, because he is completely unfazed by it. After all, it’s his job to take care of a bunch of giant 20 year old babies. So whenever you are rambling about something he would just be sitting there, nodding and making actual useful suggestions how to solve whichever problem is bothering you. At some point you finally snap and tell him: “Damnit Myeon, I don’t need your fucking advice right now I just want to be pissed of and annoyed.” And he’d be sitting there like: “…what?” He actually looks so confused that you kind of erupt into laughter and fall down on the couch next to him like. “Ugh, whatever, now I can’t be mad anymore because it always makes me laugh when you do that face.”

Originally posted by ethereal-baek

D.O.: No matter how angry or sad or upset you are, something about Kyungsoo’s presence is always enough to calm your nerves. Maybe it’s because his entire personality is so steady and relaxed, maybe it’s because you are just really, really in love with him. Either way, Kyungsoo’s soft voice, a cup of tea and cuddling is the best way to put you in a good mood again.

Originally posted by kyungsol

Kai: He is pretty good at dealing with you, no matter which mood you are in. So when you are pissed off he either talks you down, or he watches from a safe distance. But he always makes sure to supply chocolate which sometimes already does the deal to make you smile again.

Originally posted by exoturnback

Baekhyun: Usually you can’t deal with his loud, over-the-top persona when you are annoyed. But to your surprise Baekhyun shows a completely different side of himself when he realizes how shitty you feel, and suddenly your always teasing, always joking boyfriend turns serious and just sits there, closely listening to every word you say.  Then he’d just pull you in for the most comforting hug you could imagine, softly murmuring that things will be fine eventually, and he will be here, no matter what. And even though you didn’t think it would be possible, but that is the day you fall for him even more.

Originally posted by luderella

Like, I don’t want to brag, but this is really cute, isn’t it?

As usually, here is my master list, here is the mobile version, and here you can send me requests or questions. Or just message me with whatever is on your mind.

Imagine badboy!Woozi looking attentively at you instead of studying during one of your tutoring sessions with him. When you tell him to stop staring at you and continue studying, he says “I am studying. I’m studying you” in a nonchalant manner.

Originally posted by imaginesforlifetime

Request: Can I request a Christmas oneshot? The reader and Steve are really good friends, and he chooses to spend Christmas with the reader and her grandmother/father or mom/dad since the reader doesn’t have any family besides them? And they have good times and it’s fluffy and Steve only starts to realize he might have feelings for the reader? And the reader’s one family member teases her about her and Steve being close friends? You’re wonderful and your blog is one of my favorites :)

A/N: Thank you oh my gosh things like this always make me smile! ;D Some of these parents comments made me cringe just writing them so good luck reading them mwhaha. Also I’m British so I apologise for mum and mother but you know I’m practically T-hiddys twin. 

“You have no idea how much this means to me, thank you so much,” you rang the door to your parents house as you thanked Steve. The kind soul had offered to spend Christmas with you since your family was broken and your mother and father were the only people you had.

Keep reading

An Open Letter to the Heneral Luna Fandom and its hate blog; Part 1

Good Evening, mga Apo!

I’d like to give some words of advice as someone who has survived the rise and fall of fandoms since 1999 and who has been in the advent of tumblr (nung time when kino-code pa lahat).

When a fandom gets big enough (especially if the site is very accessible), there will always be those fans that think they can police what others can or cannot say or do just because they think they can. Lately it has been because of political correctness, those for and against equality, especially when it comes to media consumption.

Let me tell you a story of what happened in a fandom I was in. For three years there was a fan that was bombarded with hate mail. It was because she drew this certain character thin when their body type was fat. Usually this would warrant some annoyance and some people would have gently told her the problem and moved on. But that is not what happened. There were some people who decided her art was too problematic, and that she was the scum of the earth. So 40 hate blogs were dedicated to lambasting her; they stalked her day in, day out nitpicking every little detail of her life and criticizing her. It got to the point that it was too much for her. So she tried to commit suicide. She’s just 17. The people behind the hate blogs all went, “It’s not our fault” or “she’s lying”, even if they were given proof she IS getting medical help, from her own family and friends. This issue got so big that the producers and makers had to call out the fandom. Those certain people in the fandom, instead of being shamed and learning their lesson, now collectively turned on the creators and attacked them, looking at their old files and calling them pedophiles. Behind most of these hate blogs are teenagers and young people.

The moral of this story is, no matter what you do, you cannot please anyone. That a person who is protected by a screen of anonymity, can easily and will get away with spewing what they think is right.

I am sorry to say that a blog like that will not stop anytime soon. It will nitpick everything and anything they think is problematic. They don’t realize that behind these blogs, there are human beings; brilliant, budding ones that may, or may not have made mistakes. They don’t realize that it is human nature to err, and that the best thing to do is to forgive and move on and learn together, that humans are not things to be elevated like plaster pieces and hold to a standard, that you, my dear apos, are very young, that you will keep on learning things as you grow, or you stay in this site, that most of you are not aware of these issues we are fighting here in Tumblr.

This fandom is very young (meaning you guys were a fandom for such a short while); as such I believe most of its members are not tumblr savvy. I am sorry that you got caught in the crossfire.

What you can do is learn from your mistakes. Yes, some things ARE very problematic. But do not be afraid to ask others who are knowledgeable about these things; Learn that line between reality and fiction (from my teacher, Hans Bacher, the bg artist of Mulan) and judge what is ok and not ok. From there, apologize and move on. Remember; your kinks do not make up your worth as a human. Ship what you want, love what you love. And remember that sometimes fiction is just that. Fiction.

Then the next step you can do is block them; both the blog itself and their main blog. Pushing that block button is the most powerful thing you can do against them and it will get rid of toxicity. In my experience, it’s just a call for attention. 

Please don’t completely stop what you are doing or suddenly leave just because of a hate blog. I want to tell you, that you, dear fandom, really helped me through a very dark time these past few weeks; Your art, your gifs, the fics, the random posts, the mayhem? You guys are so young but you’re all fucking AMAZING!

Yes, some things made me cringe, but it’s all in good fun and you have good hearts, and I believe you didn’t mean to make any of those things happen. 

Most of your content in the tag made me cry, laugh, and smile, or a combination of all three! I’ve have never seen fans who are so speedy in drawing or writing, who ALSO are talented in different fields. It’s a miracle to someone like me. 

Keep doing what you do because you’ve made my world a little bit brighter and I am so glad to have met you! Know that if you are confused about some things, my inbox is open and I’m willing to explain them to you (just remember I do have a day job and it will take a while haha). Thank you so much and I love you guys! Stay Strong!

<3  your ever grateful Lola

Fanfiction Authors Appreciation Day

Sooo I’ve decided to do a list of my favorite authors in honor of Fanfiction Authors Appreciation Day instead of a rec list because I’ve been reading fanfics for probably 3 years straight (read: too many faves) and I already have one here. For even more fic recs, check out my AO3 bookmarks here for 264 lovely fics. 

I’d like to say a huuuuge THANK YOU to all of you authors for all the time and effort you invested into your writing to give me an enjoyable experience. I’ve actually learned a lot about a lot of things that more mainstream media doesn’t touch on, so thank you for helping me be a better person too. <3 Every one of you has touched my heart in some way, whether your story made me sob like a baby, laugh for five minutes straight, cringe of embarrassment, roll around on my bed because I can’t stand the cute, become unbearably horny, or be late to something because I just had to finish your story before I left. 

Well here goes. I’d love to give a shoutout to: 

4TAE | acidtowns | AirenRin | andreaphobia artenon | avoidingavoidance | Azshalade | bfketh | BlakeBroflavski | catsonfire | Cheese_kun | Chellodello | cinnamon_skull | coldmackeral | cottontale | crunchrapsupreme | dividedheart | dizzyondreams | driedupwishes | elliemoran | elliewritesthings | EquinoxSolstice | feriket | foreverautumn | freshia | GraarPlacemat | HaleYes | Imanza | joouheika | KayteaEm | Kenjiandco | KerosineShowers | Ketita | khimairan | kiokushitaka | kirakiracats | Kyogre | lalazee | Lanii | LavenderProse | Matcha | MildlyMoonstruck | momohime69 | mongoose_bite | Monsoon | murakamism | mybrainproblems | Mysecretfanmoments | Nakimochiku | NeigeAuSoleil | ninanna | odoridango | Opulence | Pas_dAutres | peralta | po cketsizedtitan | PorcelainBlue | PresquePommes | qwartootyryuusea | saekimchi | scarrle tmoon | sciencefictioness  | seabear | seaofteeth | shotgunsinlace | shulkie | tanyart | TheModernChromatic | TheSpazzBot | throneofwaste Trick_Fantasy | twisting_vine_x | Variabile | WhiteSilverandMercury | Yuu_chi | zhedang


*give you all a giant bear hug* Listen my fellow SasNar shippers. The end of the two chapters what do you mean chapter 700 and half of chapter 699? was of course painful for a lot of us, especially our fandom. But just because it was written that way does not mean that our ship has sunk or that we must accept the canon pairing. No. The ship still sails. It is not going to stop us from loving SasNar, not going to stop us write or draw or even imagine them being together. I repeat, it DOES NOT! We may be bitter about it and angry and some are even spiraling out of control. So come here and let me comfort you. My ask is always open to those who needs it.

I’ll be honest, it was not what I wanted or expected. I at least thought that it would have been an open ending but chapter 700 just made me cringe… I don’t think I want to follow up on the next generation manga. I’m happy with my own open ending where Naruto gave Sasuke his old hitai-ate back :’) Now I don’t know about you but this only fuels my drive to write. That was why I started as a writer before. I wanted what I imagined to exist and be shared to all. I’m not going to stop writing SasNar and you shouldn’t stop believing ;) Their bond is strong and we know it.

To the other shippers, you got what you wanted so I implore that you keep this fandom, MY FAMILY, away from any snubbing or anon hate just to rub salt in our wounds. It is childish and will not be tolerated.

I probably will post something about my thoughts instead of just holy ramen right now. But for now I’m more determined to get my 2nd chapter out to give you some solace.

I never regretted my decision on loving SasNar and having them as my OTP. You shouldn’t either. Just because Kishi flushed the sacred bond he took 15 years to write, we can still continue it. So don’t give up! *smiles gently* I think Naruto would have wanted the message in that manga to be that…

“Don’t give up -ttebayo!”

Because that is the Ninja Way!