In the last two months since I got this
blog started I’ve made two entire posts. Sadly, I can’t pat myself on the back
yet for being productive, but I’m working on that. There are various reasons for my delay in
writing, the most obvious one being that in order to maintain a blog about
sex.. you have to have it. And well, sadly.. I haven’t been very active in the
delicate, awkward art of fucking recently. But that is no reason not to write
about it. After all I have numerous experiences to draw from, some awful, some
quite good, and most, completely hilarious.
And what better story to start
with than the beginning? Growing up, I was a complete prude. Anything and everything
that had to do with sex or genitals made me cringe with embarrassment and shame.
Despite my complete fear of all things sexual I thought about sex a whole lot.
I know this, because I have diaries dating back to when I was fourteen containing
horrendously bad smut that would even give E.L. James a run for her money. I
wasn’t as creative with euphemisms for genitalia as she was, but still, it wasn’t
until I was seventeen that I started referring to my vagina as anything else
but “the hole”.
My first contact with “the hole” was when I
was taking a shower and a finger accidentally slipped in. Now this to me was a
kind of a “huh” moment. I had seen a power-point presentation on the female anatomy
before so I technically knew that there was an entrance point down there
somewhere but still, it felt fucking weird.
I wish I could say that this was the moment
of polarization and acceptance of my sexual side and finally being happy with
my own urges and wants, but life is never that straightforward. From this point
on came a period of unsatisfying attempts at masturbation followed my fits of
shame and depression. I felt wrong, dirty, and disgusting for even doing it but
at the same time embarrassed and flawed for not doing it correctly. I knew that
masturbation should feel good and nobody had straight out told me that it was
wrong but I still hated myself after each time. I was too afraid and ashamed to
talk to anyone about what I was doing and how I felt about it until one day
when curiosity got the best of me and I dared to confide in my friends, who
were all girls. The conversation went a little bit like this:
Me: Uhmm.. so girls I euh.. I have a
question. Do you like ever.. I mean, have you ever ya know.. masturbated..?
Friend 1: “Ew. No”.
Friend 2: “Uhmm yea no”.
Friend 3: “No. That’s disgusting”.
Me. “Oh.. ok. Well.. I have…”
Friend 1: “..me too”.
Friend 2: “yea me too”.
Friend 3: “hah, well if we’re all coming
Having this weight finally lifted off my
shoulders felt wonderful but the context of it is still so backwards. Why did
admitting to masturbation feel like confessing to a crime, why was it a dirty
little secret nobody was supposed to know? What in our culture tells young
people, especially girls, that sexual pleasure is inherently horrible and
shouldn’t be discussed? I think this is the root to many of my struggles in
regards to my sexuality. It isn’t normal to talk about it. And I need to talk
about it. That’s why I created this blog, so that I could vent away without
hurting other people’s feelings with my brutish, raw and honest approach to
things like sex, masturbation, pubic hair, periods, fantasies and the like.
I need to talk about these things. Because
nobody talked to me about them. Nobody sat down with me and simply told me that
jerking off, feels so, so, so good. And being ok with who you are and who you
are attracted to is such an important part of being a healthy, happy
individual. So listen up all you gals, guys and variations thereof!
Masturbation is wonderful. It is beautiful and amazing and normal. It feels
great- and even if you aren’t reaching orgasm through your solo sessions yet (I
didn’t manage to climax (through sex or masturbation) until I was seventeen and
a half years old, and it still isn’t a given each time I have a go at it), it’s
still pretty good and the more you practice the more chance you have of
figuring out what works and what doesn’t for your body.
So, if you are anything like how I was, and
masturbation is a hell of a hot potato for you, I’ll share some of my stories
with you on how to make it a little bit easier. First of all, it’s not going to
be romantic. Masturbation doesn’t involve rose pedals sprinkled on silk sheets,
lacy underwear and slow, sultry piano music playing in the background (unless
of course that’s your thing in which case have at it). However, in all likeliness it’s
going to be a bit awkward and smelly and noisy, just like sex. I mean, laying
in your bed with your laptop balancing on your tits while your face makes that
double chin thing as you click away at your clit in your over-sized pyjama
bottoms isn’t really the hottest thing ever. But it’s not supposed to be
either! This is your time. Mission de-stress. There isn’t an audience, nobody
is judging your performance, it’s just you and your weapon of choice- be it
fingers, dildos, vibrators, an assortment of legumes or kitchen utensils.
Now, in order to jack off, you gotta wanna
do it. So get yourself in gear. Read really bad fanfiction about Sherlock Holmes
fucking a strawberry (I haven’t checked but I’ll bet you fifty bucks this has
been done). Or maybe you’re more visual in which case hop onto to pornville-
although beware.. It can be a little bit trickier to figure out if the people
you’re watching fuck want you to be watching than fictional characters created through writing. Let’s all try to be sensible and
only watch the stuff that’s been produced where everyone involved is so by
their own free will. This may mean subscribing to websites and paying for your
membership and hell yea you should. If people are creating stuff you like to
consume you should pay for it! Maybe auditory stuff is your thing, then just google “people
moaning” (If you could see all the stuff I have googled you would be amazed, I
am simply terrible at searching for things I’m looking for). In any way, relax, have fun with figuring out what gets you going and enjoy yourself.
Then, get horny and