some snacks a condom

Unexpected Guest(s) [Jaebumxreader]

another request by inyournightmares97

a/n I did this as a Jaebum story only because I was originally writing all seven but then his was getting so long so I just committed to this one. I hope it’s okay ~JJ

genre: fluff/suggestive

Summary: Jaebum is back from a 2 month tour and is DTF tonight. He drops by your house hoping to surprise you. But another vistor makes a visit too. 


GOT&’s tour was a 2-month long adventure. It was their biggest world tour yet and all the boys were tired. Expect one. Jaebum had been waiting to see your every single day since he left for tour. You guys Skyped and talked on the phone but all he wanted was to touch hug you, to caress your skin, to kiss your lips and most of all get back to having amazing (amazing) sex. You weren't expecting to see him for another two days but they arrived back from Japan earlier than they expected due to a scheduling error. 

Jaebum had his cellphone in hand to call you but he decided on a different plan. He never got to do anything special for you since it was always him going away and always you surprising him with favours upon return. So he was determined to make tonight special. He packed a small bag with a bottle of champagne, a candle, some snacks and most a few condoms. He felt so cheesy doing something like this but he was doing it for you and that’s what mattered. He drove to your apartment as soon as he was done buying all the necessary things. It was 5pm when he knocked on your apartment door and you emerged wearing your sweatpants, hair was done up in a messy bun. 

“Oppa~” you say embracing him tightly. “Oh my god I am a mess! Why didn’t you tell me you were coming.” You pull away from the hug covering your makeup free face and messy hair. He didn’t even address your comment ad instead said “God I missed you.” He pulls you forward holding the small of your back looking at your face. He slowly reaches into your hair releasing your bun free as your hair falls down your shoulders. His lips crashed into yours and you both melt under the relief. You begin to unbutton his shirt slowly until it is completely undone revealing his beautiful abs. He starts trailing kisses along your neck nibbling as he continues downward.You lead him into the living room where he playfully pushes you onto the couch. “Wait here.” You watch as he picks up the bag he had set down at the door and go into the kitchen. 

He returns a few moments later with two glasses of wine. “You shouldn’t have.” “No, you deserve something like this. At the least. Now I think we have about 2 month’s worth of work to catch up on.” He also takes a candle from the bag setting it one table. You quickly light it with a match from the drawer on the table and the sweet scent of ocean breeze and lilac fill the air. 

You begin making out on the couch and the passion was building between you. “I missed you so much [Y/N]. You have no idea.” He said in between breaths. “I missed you too babe.” You managed to whimper out as he began sucking your collar bone. He was on top of you and you could feel how hard he was through his pants. “I can help you with that.” You say as you tug at his waistband. He flips you on top of him so you are straddling him. “Only if you insist,” He says with a sexy smirk. You begin to slowly pull his pants down when you hear the door to your apartment turning. 

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

ut,uf,us,sf papyrus react to walking in on their brother in a middle of a make out session?

Hahahahaha!~ Mod God
———-
UT Papyrus: He gets so flustered. “I’M SORRY. I DIDN’T MEAN TO. I WILL LEAVE YOU TWO BE!” He will then turn around and run. He will run out of the building. He will be flustered for about a week.

UF Papyrus: “ON MY COUCH! SERIOUSLY!?” Both will be lectured for about an hour. The couch is for sitting. Nothing else. Ya nasty.

US Papyrus: “Am I interrupting something?” He’s prettying chill about it. Mostly just want to see Sans get flustered. He did. He also probably fell.

SF Papyrus: Sorry, all I thought was Regina George’s mom.
“Do you guys need anything? Some snacks? A condom? Let me know.”
“PAPYRUS! GET!! OUT!!!”

the GazettE as Mean Girls quotes

Ruki: “Get in loser, we’re going shopping.”

Aoi: “I’m sorry that people are so jealous of me…but I can’t help it that I’m popular!”

Kai: “I wish I could bake a cake filled with rainbows and smiles and everyone would eat and be happy.”

Uruha “Everyone in Africa can read Swedish.”

Reita “Can I get you guys anything? Some snacks? A condom? Let me know! Oh god, love ya!!”

thegaymerist  asked:

let's be real. the REAL reason andy popped on set for the caryl dinner was for him to improv rick bustin in the house like "you two need anything? some snacks, a condom? let me know - ugh god love ya."

Pleathe sis!!!!!! Rick was packing a gift basket and a cake 

………before those trip wires caught him in the ankle. He’s still stranded by the gate as we speak.

harry: *posts a selfie*

grace: *reblogs w/ distorted jim halpert face*

me in the doorway wearing a velour tracksuit and holding a small dog: can i get you guys anything? some snacks? a condom? lmk

The types as Mean Girls quotes
  • ISTP: "I have a nephew named Anfernee, and I know how mad he gets when I call him Anthony. Almost as mad as I get when I think about the fact that my sister named him Anfernee."
  • ESTP: "What kind of mother do you think I am? Why, do you want a little bit? Because if you're going to drink I'd rather you do it in the house."
  • INTP: "I can't go out. *cough cough* I'm sick."
  • ENTP: "God! I am so sorry Regina. Really, I don't know why I did this. I guess it's probably because I've got a big lesbian crush on you! Suck on that! AY-YI-YI-YI-YI-YI!"
  • INFP: "Why should Caesar just get to stomp around like a giant while the rest of us try not to get smashed under his big feet? Brutus is just as cute as Caesar, right? Brutus is just as smart as Caesar, people totally like Brutus just as much as they like Caesar, and when did it become okay for one person to be the boss of everybody because that's not what Rome is about! We should totally just STAB CAESAR!"
  • ENFP: "Glenn Coco? Four for you, Glenn Coco! You go, Glenn Coco."
  • ISFP: "Oh my God, Karen, you can't just ask people why they're white."
  • ESFP: "And I want my pink shirt back! I want my pink shirt back!"
  • ISFJ: "Can I get you guys anything? Some snacks? A condom? Let me know! Oh, God love ya."
  • ESFJ: "I know it may look like I was being like a bitch, but that's only because I was acting like a bitch."
  • ISTJ: "Don't have sex, because you will get pregnant and die! Don't have sex in the missionary position, don't have sex standing up, just don't do it, OK, promise? OK, now everybody take some rubbers."
  • ESTJ: "Gretchen, stop trying to make fetch happen! It's not going to happen!"
  • INTJ: "Half the people in this room are mad at me, and the other half only like me because they think I pushed somebody in front a bus, so that's not good."
  • ENTJ: "I've got parents calling me on the phone and asking 'did someone get shot?'. I oughta cancel your Spring Fling. Now, I'm not gonna do that because we've already paid the DJ, but don't think I'm not taking this book seriously."
  • INFJ: "It's like I have ESPN or something. My breasts can always tell when it's going to rain."
  • ENFJ: "I wish we could all get along like we used to in middle school. I wish I could bake a cake filled with rainbows and smiles and everyone would eat and be happy..."
SENTENCE PROMPTS MEME.

send one of the following sentences to me for my muses response. mixture of angst, fluff, nsfw and everything inbetween. taken from sources such as movies, tv shows, songs and my own brain

  • “How long have we been down?" 
  • "Am I supposed to just let you go?" 
  • "Are you real?" 
  • "Shut up and kiss me." 
  • "You look homeless." 
  • "Do you kids want anything? Some snacks? A condom?" 
  • "I’m not gay/lesbian." 
  • "I’m destined to be a crazy cat lady/man." 
  • "Time won’t change me." 
  • "It’s empty in the valley of your heart." 
  • "You did this?" 
  • "I will hold on hope." 
  • "Shit, you really are tone deaf." 
  • "I’d rather burn than boil." 
  • "I see you found my little…hobby." 
  • "Never trust a drunk." 
  • "You have no idea what I’m capable of." 
  • "Long live the Queen/King" 
  • "It’s like a warm, wet hug." 
  • "I predict a riot." 
  • "I’m in no mood." 
  • "Is this where we all sing Kum-Bah-Yah?" 
  • "There’s nothing I hate more than a racist." 
  • "Well, part of your discretion is falling out of your blouse." 
  • "Killers don’t wear aprons." 
  • "As you wish." 
  • "Word of advice, shithead. Don’t you ever wake up." 
  • "You’ve never heard of Leonardo Dicaprio?!" 
  • "If you try to fuck me then I shall fuck you too." 
  • "Rock and Roll’s the Devils work." 
  • "You’re a fat loser and you have body odour." 
  • "I am lost and so alone." 
  • "I’m asking for your guidance." 
  • "My father thinks you’re evil." 
  • "I still have your underwear." 
  • "I’m pregnant." 
  • "Show’s over, motherfuckers." 
  • "Aw dude, this is one gay looking taser." 
  • "If it wasn’t for you, I’d be dead." 
  • "If you don’t pay your rent, I’m kicking you out." 
  • "That is so punk rock!" 
  • "It’s a nice day for a white wedding." 
  • ”God. This is the loneliest place I’ve ever been and I lived in a tree for eight months.“ 
  • "People are strange." 
  • "It’s a nice day to start again." 
  • "I’ve been gone for fourteen days. I could have been gone for more." 
  • "Do you think he’ll/she’ll ever come home?" 
  • "They tried to stone me, my dear. It did not work." 
  • "Get off my son/daughter, you bitch!" 
  • "Try not to get worried." 
  • "I’m sure I just need some rest." 
  • "You light a fire inside of me." 
  • "I threw my pie for you." 
  • "I wanna get out of here." 
  • "Don’t you dare leave me again, [ insert name ]" 
  • "Life isn’t a Katherine Heigl movie." 
  • "Why are you so obsessed with him/her?" 
  • "Of course, my horse." 
  • "You’re so naive." 
  • "There’s no such thing as perfect." 
  • "Imperfection is underrated." 
  • "It’s such an ugly world for something so beautiful." 
  • "I’m not fond of asking." 
  • "You’re so vain, I bet you think this song is about you." 
  • "Are you challenging me?" 
  • "This is the best fucking pie I have ever tasted." 
  • "Little children should be seen and not heard." 
  • "Imagine me and you, I do. I think about you day and night." 
  • "You belong to me." 
  • "I will always wait for you." 
  • "You’re the magician’s assistant in their dream." 
  • "Don’t marry her, fuck me." 
  • "We will never be royals." 
  • "There must be an angel, playing with my heart." 
  • "I must be hallucinating." 
  • "Will you marry me?" 
  • "We were made to be together." 
  • "Jesus loves you!" 
  • "She’s got a boyfriend/girlfriend anyway." 
  • "Just like me, they long to be, close to you." 
  • "My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard." 
  • "Bad girls do it well." 
  • "Don’t you wish your girlfriend/boyfriend was hot like me?" 
  • "You do not own me." 
  • "I own you." 
  • "There’s a difference between wanting something and needing it." 
  • "Why so serious?" 
  • "Describe your perfect date." 
  • ”[ insert name here ] is flawless.“ 
  • "Do you have to a pretentious bitch all of the time?" 
  • "Okay?" 
  • "This is our infinity." 
  • "Ask me again when you learn some manners." 
  • "When I am with you, there’s no place I’d rather be." 
  • "Did we really just do that?" 
  • "At the end of the day, there’ll be nothing but trouble." 
  • "When will my life begin?" 
  • "Now that we’re friends, I’ve decided to make you my new project." 
  • "Look at you as fragile as a flower." 
  • "Guess I always knew this day was coming." 
  • "Trust me, pet. Mother knows best." 
  • "Please, sit. Make yourself at home." 
  • "I’m allergic to bullshit." 
  • "Is it your aim to ruin my life?" 
  • "My fate is in your hands." 
  • "Go ahead, get mugged and left for dead." 
  • "I wanna stay inside all day." 
  • "Are you satisfied?" 
  • "People will talk." 
  • "For goodness sake, let us be young." 
  • "I’m nobody.”
So my Uncle’s childhood bedroom...

So my Uncle’s childhood bedroom at my grandfather’s house has Star Wars wallpaper from 1978.

It is magnificent. This particular shot of the Millennium Falcon is perhaps my favourite.

Here we have “Budget Harrison Ford” or as I like to call him “Garrison Fjord.”

Mark Hamill as Luke Skywalker looking like an even more sulky teenager than usual.

And Alec Guinness looking like Old Ben “Did I leave the stove on?” Kenobi.

Lightsaber fight isn’t looking too bad, right? Plenty of action going on there, right? Let’s just, uh… Let’s just take a closer look at Grand Moff Tarkin on the right there.

“Can I get you guys anything? Some snacks? A condom?”

‘Mean Girls’ in the Avatar World

Quotes source

  • “On Wednesdays we wear pink!” - Ty Lee
  • “You can’t sit with us!” - Katara at Zuko during the Western Air Temple
  • “I’m sorry that people are so jealous of me… but I can’t help it that I’m popular” - Azula
  • “Sometimes older people make jokes too” - Uncle Iroh
  • “That is so fetch!” - Zuko
  • “Stop trying to make fetch happen! It’s not going to happen!” Azula at Zuko
  • “Get in loser, we’re going shopping” - Sokka
  • “I just want you to know, if you ever need anything, don’t be shy, OK? There are NO rules in the house. I’m not like a regular mom, I’m a cool mom” - Katara
  • “Can I get you guys anything? Some snacks? A condom? Let me know! Oh, God love ya” - Sokka at Katara and Aang
  • “I’m sorry I laughed at you that time you got diarrhea at Barnes & Nobles” - Toph 
  • “What are marijuana tablets?” - Aang
Mean Girls Starters
  • ❝If you're from Africa, why are you white?❞
  • ❝Oh my God, [name], you can't just ask people why they're white.❞
  • ❝Boo, you whore!❞
  • ❝Nice wig, [name]. What's it made of?❞
  • ❝Your Mom's chest hair!❞
  • ❝On Wednesdays we wear pink!❞
  • ❝Calling somebody else fat won't make you any skinnier. Calling someone stupid doesn't make you any smarter. And ruining [name]'s life definitely didn't make me any happier. All you can do in life is try to solve the problem in front of you.❞
  • ❝Hey, buddy, you're not pretending anymore. You're plastic. Cold, shiny, hard plastic.❞
  • ❝You know what! It's not my fault you're like, in love with me, or something!❞
  • ❝See? That's the thing with you plastics. You think everybody is in love with you when actually, everybody HATES you! Like, [name], for example, he broke up with Regina and guess what? He still doesn't want you! So why are you still messing with [name], [name]? I'll tell you why, because you are a mean girl! You're a bitch! Here. You can have this. It won a prize.❞
  • ❝And I want my pink shirt back! I want my pink shirt back!❞
  • ❝That is so fetch!❞
  • ❝Gretchen, stop trying to make fetch happen! It's not going to happen!❞
  • ❝God! I am so sorry [name]. Really, I don't know why I did this. I guess it's probably because I've got a big lesbian crush on you! Suck on that! AY-YI-YI-YI-YI-YI!❞
  • ❝[Name], I'm sorry I laughed at you that time you got diarrhea at Barnes & Nobles. And I'm sorry for telling everyone about it. And I'm sorry for repeating it now.❞
  • ❝And none for [name], bye!❞
  • ❝Get in loser, we're going shopping.❞
  • ❝Don't have sex, because you will get pregnant and die! Don't have sex in the missionary position, don't have sex standing up, just don't do it, OK, promise? OK, now everybody take some rubbers.❞
  • ❝I wish we could all get along like we used to in middle school... I wish I could bake a cake filled with rainbows and smiles and everyone would eat and be happy...❞
  • ❝She doesn't even go here!❞
  • ❝Raise your hand if you have ever been personally victimized by Regina George?❞
  • ❝I hear her hair's insured for $10,000.❞
  • ❝I hear she does car commercials... in Japan.❞
  • ❝Her favorite movie is Varsity Blues.❞
  • ❝One time she met John Stamos on a plane... And he told her she was pretty.❞
  • ❝One time she punched me in the face... it was awesome.❞
  • ❝Why are you eating a Kalteen bar?❞
  • ❝Man, I hate those things. Coach Carr makes us eat those when we want to move up a weight class.❞
  • ❝Why should Caesar just get to stomp around like a giant while the rest of us try not to get smushed under his big feet? Brutus is just as cute as Caesar, right? Brutus is just as smart as Caesar, people totally like Brutus just as much as they like Caesar, and when did it become okay for one person to be the boss of everybody because that's not what Rome is about! We should totally just STAB CAESAR!❞
  • ❝[Name] had cracked.❞
  • ❝Hell, no. I did *not* leave the South Side for this!❞
  • ❝Somebody wrote in that book that I'm lying about being a virgin, 'cause I use super-jumbo tampons, but I can't help it if I've got a heavy flow and a wide-set vagina!❞
  • ❝There's a 30% chance that it's already raining!❞
  • ❝I'm sorry that people are so jealous of me... but I can't help it that I'm so popular.❞
  • ❝I gave him everything! I was half a virgin when I met him.❞
  • ❝Do you wanna do something fun? Wanna go to taco bell?❞
  • ❝I can't go to taco bell, I'm on an all-carb diet. GOD [name] you're so stupid!❞
  • ❝It's like I have ESPN or something. My breasts can always tell when it's going to rain.❞
  • ❝That is the ugliest f-ing skirt I've ever seen.❞
  • ❝She's totally rich because her dad invented Toaster Streudels.❞
  • ❝That's why her hair is so big, it's full of secrets.❞
  • ❝She's the queen bee - the star, those other two are just her little workers.❞
  • ❝And they have this book, this burn book, where they write mean things about all the girls in our grade.❞
  • ❝Oh my God - Danny DeVito! I love your work!❞
  • ❝At your age, you're going to have a lot of urges. You're going to want to take off your clothes, and touch each other. But if you do touch each other, you will get chlamydia... and die.❞
  • ❝Is butter a carb?❞
  • ❝You can't sit with us!❞
  • ❝Fine! You can walk home, bitches.❞
  • ❝And on the third day, God created the Remington bolt-action rifle, so that Man could fight the dinosaurs. And the homosexuals.❞
  • ❝My grandma takes her wig off when she's drunk.❞
  • ❝I love her. She's like a Martian!❞
  • ❝Are they not suppose to be let out when they're grounded?❞
  • ❝She thinks she's gonna have a party and not invite me? Who does she think she is?❞
  • ❝I like invented her, you know what I mean?❞
  • ❝I just want you to know, if you ever need anything, don't be shy, OK? There are NO rules in the house. I'm not like a regular mom, I'm a cool mom.❞
  • ❝Can I get you guys anything? Some snacks? A condom? Let me know! Oh, God love ya.❞
  • ❝Halloween is the one night a year when girls can dress like a total slut and no other girls can say anything about it.❞
  • ❝Sorry, we only carry sizes 1, 3, and 5. You could try Sears.❞
  • ❝Regina George is not sweet! She's a scum-sucking road whore, she ruined my life!❞
  • ❝I know it may look like I was being like a bitch, but that's only because I was acting like a bitch.❞
  • ❝Your face smells like peppermint!❞
  • ❝Oh, you'll get socialized all right, a little slice like you.❞
  • ❝You're a regulation hottie.❞
  • ❝We do not have a clique problem at this school.❞
  • ❝But you do have to watch out for "frenemies".❞
  • ❝I know she's kind of socially retarded and weird, but she's my friend... so, just promise me you won't make fun of her!❞
  • ❝Half the people in this room are mad at me, and the other half only like me because they think I pushed somebody in front a bus, so that's not good.❞
  • ❝I don't hate you cuz yo' fat... yo' fat cuz I hate you!❞
  • ❝You smell like a baby prostitute.❞
  • ❝Is your muffin buttered?❞
  • ❝Jason, you do not come to a party at my house with Gretchen and then scam on some poor innocent girl right in front of us three days later. She's not interested. Do you want to have sex with him?❞
  • ❝Good. So it's settled. So you can go shave your back now. Bye, Jason.❞
  • ❝Finally, Girl World was at peace.❞
  • ❝Hey, check it out. Junior Plastics.❞
  • ❝Damn, Africa, what happened?❞
  • ❝I saw [name] wearing army pants and flip flops, so I bought army pants and flip flops.❞
  • ❝Oh, hi. Did you wanna buy some drugs?❞
  • ❝Make sure you check out her mom's boob job. They're hard as rocks.❞
  • ❝Whatever, I'm getting cheese fries.❞
  • ❝Okay, I'm going to forgive you because I'm a very Zen person... and I'm on a lot of pain medication right now.❞
  • ❝Can you believe my f-ing mom is here?❞
  • ❝I have this theory, that if you cut off all her hair she'd look like a British man.❞
  • ❝I care. Every year the seniors through this dance for the underclassmen called the Spring Fling. And whosoever is elected King and Queen automatically become head of the Student Activities Committee and since I am an active member of the Student Activities Committee, I would safely say, I care.❞
  • ❝Irregardless, ex-boyfriends are just off limits to friends. I mean that's just like the rules of feminism.❞
  • ❝Did your teacher ever try to sell you marijuana or ecstasy tablets?❞
  • ❝What are marijuana tablets?❞
  • ❝You cannot do that. That is social suicide. Damn! You are so lucky you have us to guide you.❞
  • ❝Oh, I love seeing teachers outside of school. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs.❞
  • ❝Everyone in Africa knows Swedish.❞
  • ❝Made out with a hot dog? Oh my God that was one time!❞
  • ❝I know having a boyfriend might seem like the only thing important to you right now, but you don't have to dumb yourself down in order for a guy to like you.❞
  • ❝Come on! We could publish it and then everybody would see what an ax-wound she really is!❞
  • ❝And you can only wear your hair in a ponytail once a week, so I guess you chose today.❞
  • ❝She's not even that good looking if you really look at her.❞
  • ❝I don't know, now that she's getting fatter she's got pretty big jugs.❞
  • ❝Watch out please! Fresh meat coming through!❞
  • ❝I'd rather see you out there shakin' that thang.❞
  • ❝You can do this. There's nothing to break your focus, because not one of those Marymount boys is cute.❞
  • ❝There are two kinds of evil people in this world. Those who do evil stuff and those who see evil stuff being done and don't try to stop it.❞
  • ❝Well, I mean you wouldn't buy a skirt without asking your friends first if it looks good on you.❞
  • ❝The limit does not exist!❞
  • ❝I just wanted to say that you're all winners. And that I couldn't be happier the school year is ending.❞
  • ❝It's called the South Beach Fat Flush and all you drink is cranberry juice for 72 hours.❞
  • ❝She's fabulous, but she's evil.❞
  • ❝So, are you gonna send any candy canes?❞
  • ❝No. I don't send them, I just get them. So you better send me one, byotch.❞
  • ❝'Cause she's a life ruiner. She ruins people's lives.❞
  • ❝Oh no, I can't say anything else until I have a parent or lawyer present.❞
  • ❝Did you see nipple? It only counts if you saw a nipple!❞
  • ❝Oh, no. It was coming up again, word vomit... no, wait a minute... Actual vomit.❞
  • ❝Grool... I meant to say cool and then I started to say great.❞
  • ❝I'm a cool mom! Right Regina?❞
  • ❝Good news, they didn't get run over... Bad news, they're still flat.❞
  • ❝Hey, hey, hey. How are my best girlfriends?❞
  • ❝Oh god, busted! Just start apologizing and crying. No, play it cool.❞
  • ❝I mean no offense, but how could she send you a candy cane? She doesn't even like you that much. Maybe she feels weird around me because I'm the only person who knows about her nose job. Oh my god, pretend you didn't hear that.❞