some prefer cake

lazulisong  asked:

I HOPE THIS GOES THROUGH BECAUSE ... MOBILE ... BUT HOW ABOUT TEAM ASSASIN GOING SHOPPING VERY SERIOUSLY FOR STEVE BIRTHDAY CUPCAKES WHILE SAM TEXTS STEVE LIKE "HOW AM I THE ACTUAL VOICE OF REASON HERE?????" PS feel better boo.

Sam’s phone rings at 3:43 AM on the 4th and he’s a superhero now so he’s not allowed to throw it across the room and go back to sleep.

“‘lo?” he mumbles into the phone.

“We need tactical advice,” said Natasha. There’s some conversation and it sounds like she’s put her hand over the phone for a consultation before she continues. “Maybe strategic.”

“…OK?” Sam says, rubbing at his eyes with his free hand. “What’s the situation?”

More mumbled consultation. Sam pushes himself up a bit against the headboard. He’s still not 100% awake so he just waits it out.

“Barton and I did not have….traditional childhoods,” she says finally. “We are unaware of the procedure for a birthday dessert.”

“Cake,” corrects Barton’s voice. “I’m pretty sure it’s a birthday cake.”

“I’ve got this,” Natasha hissed at him. Then to Sam: “Please advise, are cupcakes a suitable alternative to cake?”

Sam sighed. “Depends on who the kid is,” he said. “Some kids prefer cupcakes, some prefer cake.”

There’s a brief confused pause.

“Is there a separate set of rules if the person in question is old?” Natasha asked. “Like….really old?” And that’s when it all clicks for Sam. Ah.

“Man, I don’t know,” Sam said. “It’s the middle of the night, Tasha. You’ve had three weeks to figure this out.”

Barton had three weeks to figure this out,” she corrected. “I have taken over the operation due to inactivity.”

I totally had this,” said Barton and then there’s a definite smacking sound.

“I don’t even know what flavors Steve likes,” said Sam. “Ask somebody else.”

“Hmmmm,” said Natasha thoughtfully. “I think I know who might have that information.”

“Good. Call them. Wake that poor sucker up instead, I’m going back to sleep.”

And that’s how the Winter Soldier got coerced into helping find Steve Rogers some birthday cupcakes. And it’s also how Bucky Barnes remembered he was a little shithead and the cupcakes all were elaborately patriotic, carefully crafted to have rings of red in each cupcake and tiny blue stars on top.

He hadn’t known he could bake until the Black Widow and Hawkeye crashed into his safehouse just before dawn and presented their mission to him.

He Cheats on You (cashton/4)

If people like this I could post 4/4 or a second part???

Ashton:

It was unexpected, something that slapped you hard in the face, a dash of reality topping the cake of your life. Ashton treated you perfectly, paying just enough attention, making you dinner after a hard day, sending you flowers while away on tour. Little did you know each silky petal was just an apology, a cover-up for each woman he bedded besides you. Calum told you. He was an honest man, he couldn’t keep it from you. They were on tour, and Calum called you up when he had a break. It was impossible; you refused to believe it. “He would never,” you had said to him, more for yourself than anyone else. With some convincing proof and a heartfelt apology, you both hung up, immediately going to Ashton’s contact. Hesitating briefly, you blocked his number. Typing out a quick tweet, you closed your Twitter app.

“the single life is doing me well”

Calum:

You had sensed something wrong with Calum recently. He didn’t treat you the same. It was hardly noticeable, but you knew him well enough. Instead of flashing you with his silent laughter like normal, he would only pay a small grin in your direction. Instead of finding a way to be as close to you as possible, he would slowly edge way, as if he moved too quickly you would duck away like a deer. One day, while doing laundry, you lifted one of Calum’s band shirts up from the basket. Very faintly, on the neck of the shirt, you noticed a smear of lipstick. Frowning, you wondered. You hadn’t warn lipstick in a few weeks, so you weren’t sure where it had come from. Then, like a bucket of ice water washing over you, you realized, “He’s cheating on me.”

Fandoms United: Percy Jackson, The Hunger Games, Divergent & The Mortal Instruments
  • Percy: Hey, you guys wanna order some pizza?
  • Peeta: Can't we just get some bread?
  • Tris: PEETA!!! Don't eat the bread!
  • Tobias: How about some cake? Preferably dauntless..
  • Clary: Just get me some coffee, black-
  • Simon: Just like her soul..
  • Percy: Ewww.. Can't it be blue cherry coke?
  • Jace: I. DONT. CARE. JUST. GET. ME. SOMETHING. BROWN.
  • Percy: Blue food is possible! Gods!
  • Katniss: I'll just have some lamb stew..
  • Isabelle: Ooohhh I'll make something!!
  • Haymitch: I'll have a beer..
  • Jace, Clary, Simon & Alec: IZZY, NOOOOOOO!DON'T COOK ANYTHING
  • Percy: Izzy? Can you make something blue?
  • Magnus: If we make something blue, we gotta add some GLITTER !!!!
  • Jace: -slams knife in table- MUNDANES, we're getting something brown.
  • Effie: THAT IS MAHOGANY!!!
  • Katniss: psh, that wasn't a good idea, Herondale