some people just make me sick

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StarsLights
Hi! Staria here! This is my new backup channel and I want to refresh things out because my edits are a bit tense. I want to have a regular, normal channel! I...

Iv never met such a VILE and Disgusting person in my entire life. It make me SICK to my stumok what there doing. They now have ANOTHER new channel with shitty stolen content and have stolen Stacys icon. After just hours ago claiming they would stop. 

Im furious at this horrific and creepy behavior. Go ahead and call me a Bully because im beyond sending hate to this fucked up individual. There actions are sickening. They stalked Stacy on MULTIPLE websites.

They steal content.

harass people with comments and links (even after being told to leave them alone)

lie repeatedly.

Found Stacy on Skype some how?

have 5 impersonating channels

Have a tumbler and a DeviantArt claiming to be Stacy.

They even follow Stacy on Picarto and join in PRIVATE online games and streams.

They have been told Multiple times there not welcome and to leave her and others alone. Clearly they act out of spite and Jealousy. This behavior has continued for an entire year. SO many people have tried to speak to them rationaly but all they care about it HURTING people. They openly admitted to wanting to make Stacy feel uncomfortable.

tbh i think the fact that people here [in the US] see russia as one great putin-loving monolith but see countries like the uk as complex and multifaceted societies and not some homogeneous brexit & theresa may fandom (thats a specific example but it applies to all of western europe and north america pretty much) really just boils down to antiquated cold war era xenophobia + borderline colonialist paternalism and its annoying as hell and it makes me sick

tips for gloing up

as someone who is continuously on the glo up journey this summer

moisturize

- moisturize your hair

- moisturize your body, especially if your climate is arid or your skin gets hella dry post-shower

- moisturize your face

- take care of your chapped lips ok

eat right

- eating right doesn’t mean just eating salads all day and forsaking junk food, it just means watch what you put in your body

- try to keep your meals well balanced through out the day, like make sure you get enough carbs and fruits and veggies and grains and proteins and fat everyday

- drink water!! your skin will be bomb and personally, it prevents me from being sick and stuck with a sore throat all the time

examine your thoughts

- try to think about all the things you have going for you

- learn to love yourself and accept your flaws

- set goals for yourself

- if people are being childish/petty, understand that it’s just them and let them be childish/petty

- if people are being mean and making your life hell, try to get out that situation or diffuse some of the tension

- discontinue to fuck with toxic people

- make plans and dream about the future, but don’t forget to live in the present

Tips for Nuerotypicals when a borderline they may know experiences a breakdown (edited)

• WE ARE HAVING A BREAKDOWN!!!!- Im so sick of seeing posts were people get angry with mentally ill people for this. It’s so important to understand that people cope differently some of us may need someone to talk to, a hug or if you’re like me you just need some space to recollect. This doesn’t mean we hate you it is just how some people cope.

• Making us feel guilty will not stop negative coping mechanisms but will only further push us to them as a way to seek comfort and ‘safety’.

• You cannot save us. We have an illness just like any other, please don’t become frustrated if your efforts to pull us out of this funk don’t work! (However your efforts are really appreciated) if doctors got frustrated at patients for not feeling better immediately this world would be messy af.

• Sometimes the only explanation for why I’m feeling like this is that I have emotionally unstable disorder. Not everything needs to be assessed Freud style.

• SPLITTING IS NOT A CHOICE!! YOU DONT PICK WHO YOU SPLIT ON!! please don’t be offended if we split most of the time we won’t let you know because must of us beat ourselves up for feeling this way. P.s. We may not actually be splitting because you’ve done something wrong in some cases it could be a projection of how the individual is feeling about themselves.

• If we have split and we tell you about it, please, please refrain from making us feel guilty I really can’t stress this enough!!

• Having borderline personality disorder means that our ability to maintain positive and healthy relationships is very difficult.

• Please respect the coping mechanism of a borderline. Especially borderlines that just need space, however difficult this may be understand that this is someone’s mental health rather than a way to spite you or hurt you.

• Be patient!! I assure you that once we are able
to feel back in control of these feelings we will be able to interact better.

• Do not expect an apology. You wouldn’t expect a person with a broken leg to apologise for cancelling plans due to the leg you’d almost even expect it; so please don’t expect borderlines to have to apologise for the way that they feel. ONCE AGAIN IT IS AN ILLNESS AND WILL BE TREATED AS ONE.

• Some borderlines have no empathy. For example my levels of empathy depend on how I feel at the time. Right now for example
I have no empathy. This doesn’t mean we don’t care about you or about what you’re telling us. Most of the time borderlines switch their empathy off when they have to much on their own plate.

• Most importantly, we still love and value you. And even though we may have difficulty expressing this when our mood is like this please don’t forget. We are working on it and we are trying but please be patient with us, bpd is such an exhausting disorder.

If you have bpd, feel free to add your own these are just some of things I feel like I needed to point out. I am going through a really shitty time and I thought this may help others explain to people around them what they need.
NOTE: I AM NOT IN ANYWAY SUGGESTING THAT EVERYONE WITH BPD FEELS THIS WAY. THESE ARE BASED OF MY EXPERIENCE AND ARE NOT MEANT TO INVALIDATE ANYONE ELSES

Almost every time someone asks me what major I am, when I tell them “physics and chemistry” they are shocked, telling me how smart I must be. Occasionally making a self-deprecating joke about how they would never be able to manage hard sciences or how they were always bad at math.

I get sick of it. Not just because I hear it so much, but because it goes to show that people still honestly believe that science and mathematics are only meant for geniuses. That these are disciplines you just “get” rather than work at.

So whenever I answer that question and get no reaction I’m taken aback. Admittedly, some of it is because it fails to validate my desire to be considered smart. But it surprises me mostly because it suggests that maybe there is some shred of hope that people understand.

Understand that something like math is a field that must be worked at, much like any other. Whether it’s science or humanities. To be good at something you must work. Intellect alone can only take you so far. That being in one of these fields does not make you special.

It’s humbling. Something that physicists and mathematicians need to experience more regularly, to be perfectly honest.

These fields can be accessible to everyone, not just the intellectual elite.

anonymous asked:

Are groin attacks on men actually the automatic off-switch we see in movies?

No.

They aren’t universal, and you can, in fact, groin strike a woman to similar effect. What a groin strike is actually targeting is the nerve endings in that region of the body, the very same nerve endings that cause humans to experience sexual pleasure. It hurts a whole hell of a lot, it makes you sick to your stomach, and you bowl over to protect yourself. Nailing a woman with a groin strike is more difficult than a man because the area is smaller and it’s more difficult to hit. It can happen though, it’s happened to me in training with a partner.

Anyone with a strong pain tolerance is going to be resistant to groin strikes, just like with anything else. Some people are more sensitive than others. Other people will recover quicker than others. The rarest find won’t feel it at all, and they’re out there.

And, of course, if you’re opponent is wearing a cup then the groin strike goes right out. That’s why you wear cups when you’re sparring, so it doesn’t hurt when you get hit in the groin. So, if they’re armored, you’re out of luck.

It’s a pretty good stunner if you can land it and they’re not prepared for it, but it’s not a finishing move. When you see groin strikes in martial arts or just as self-defense, they’re part of what we call “combinations” which is a series of strikes performed one after the other. You use the groin strike to stun your attacker, and then follow up while they’re distracted by pain.

So, say you want to use a knee strike to the groin. You’ll grab them and strike the groin, then you grab their head and slam it into your knee again. You may hit them several more times after that if they don’t go down, but the groin strike is the opener or secondary to more effective moves that would be difficult to pull off if they weren’t distracted by pain or were… you know, upright.

The general populace often has a hard time grasping the concept of techniques feeding into each other. “I do this, so I can get over there, to do that”.

Groin strikes are conventional wisdom. Enough people have hit boys in the groin and see them bowl over to know that it’s somewhat effective, and enough boys have been hit in the groin to know it hurts.

You know what else hurts?

Your shin.

Getting hit in the shin hurts a whole hell of a lot too. It’s actually easier hit as it’s a much larger target and you don’t need to be nearly as close.

Anywhere on your body where the bone is near to the surface/isn’t protected by muscle, is direct access to your nervous system and works about as well as a groin shot. So, kick ‘em in the shin. Boxing the ears is another good one, you rattle the inner ear and cause them to lose their sense of equilibrium which makes them dizzy and they… stumble. Hit them in the nose. Their eyes will water, their nose will swell, both of which impact their ability to see.

You can, in fact, chain these together too.

Kick them in the shin. Box their ears. As their head comes forward, hit them in the nose or punch them in the throat. Then, if they’re still coming toward you or you’ve grabbed them by the shoulder or the head, knee them in the groin.

There aren’t a lot of one hit wonders when it comes to fighting, and if you did get one then you’re damn lucky. There is no 100%, no sure shot, no total shut down, no universal technique that will give you perfect accuracy on every human you will ever meet.

The problem with groin strikes in movies is that they’re actually a joke about manhood and dominance. Sometimes, it’s used intentionally and, sometimes, it’s not, but it doesn’t go much further than, “ha, ha, she hit him in the peen” and he goes down because the big, tough guy was really weak after all. It’s become that “Tough Girl Move” and is supposed to convey she’s tough, and brave, and everything that comes with a poorly thought out action girl.

In the movies, the groin shot is about dominance and asserting superiority. Whether it’s a woman doing it to a man, or a man doing it to another man (but it’s usually a woman), that’s what it’s normally about. It’s just a co-opting of the Alpha Male Bullshit Package for an Empowering Moment. It’s telling that these moments revolve entirely around the physical embodiment of manhood, because it’s often treated as the only weakness a man possesses. Given the groin shot is often paired with the threat of sexual assault, you can see all threads weaving themselves together for the underlying themes. The man is brought down by his *ahem* desires, the woman flees, and the scene is still all about sex.

So, you know, fun.

-Michi

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I’ve seen a couple post claiming the ACLU isn’t a good organization because they’ve defended folks like the KKK and other disgusting organizations and as a lawyer I just can’t let people make these claims and not address them.

First, let me say that as a queer Black woman, some of the folks the ACLU has represented make me absolutely sick. They want me and mine dead. They are terrible. But I am wholeheartedly here for the ACLU representing these people because of the way the law works.

In the law, there’s a thing called precedent. It basically means that decisions that are made in these cases are the law of the land unless they are overturned on appeal. Most questions of law have been settled and when lawyers argue they just refer the judge to how previous, similar cases were decided and the judge usually follows suit because they don’t wanna be overturned on appeal.

When there are new/unique questions of law that haven’t been settled, especially around civil rights, the outcomes are super important because it will essentially impact all of us. So, as shitty and disgusting as it is, if the KKK’s speech is infringed in a way that creates a new legal question as to how the constitution applies, if they have a legit claim and no one defends them and they lose, the rule and reasoning that the judge lays down becomes law. So, later if for example #NoDAPL or BLM folks are marching or demonstrating and have their speech infringed upon in the way the KKK previously did, if they bring it to court the precedent established in the KKK’s case applies and #NoDAPL or BLM lose. Because for better or worse the law in most of these cases doesn’t hinge on “are these people saying things we support and want to spread?” and it doesn’t really matter legally if one group is the KKK and the other is #NoDAPL. In short, those aren’t the facts that legal decisions are made on.

In short, sometimes to protect ALL of our legal rights, the ACLU has to protect the rights of deplorable and disgusting people. And honestly, we should be thankful that there are folks out here willing to do this dirty work. The ACLU is about protecting our constitutional civil rights and sometimes that means protecting those of bad people so that those decisions and resulting laws can’t be used to hurt good people. And more often than not, the ACLU is fighting for good people. Please keep that in mind before claiming the ACLU is awful.

skam and the depiction of Islam : homophobia in islam

there’s a huge problem. a huge one.

in season three, when isak attacked sana on her faith, she reacted aggressively and had every right to do so. I would have done the same thing. she tried to show him how void his argument was.

by pointing out that by the standards of science, being gay was wrong.

sure, it was just a rhetorical device to get him to shut up and she apologized later on.

still, that entire scene felt really, really wrong to me. it didn’t feel like sana, the sana I knew and love. because sana would never, ever, embrace prejudices and hatred of those in pain just to shut up an ignorant white boy.

like… that’s the thing. it didn’t feel like she was playing pretend. it genuinely sounded like she was defending something she believed to be partially and at some level, true. or defendable. something she was ACCUSTOMED to hear. something she was okay with saying out loud.

I fucking hated that, seeing it. it made me upset for weeks, as a gay muslim.

and now, this.

I understand mikael taking his distance. I understand the guys doing the same. honestly, thats realistic.

what I don’t understand is why Julie and her team thought it’d be wise to picture them LAUGHING about even and what happened, in their channel. it makes no sense. they’re sweet, kind boys. it makes literally no sense.

and it gets worse because she felt the need to single out yousef, to depict him as the one not to laugh at even’s pain. as the one who feels compassionate and human enough to show some decency.

yousef. the one that renounced islam.

now, thats demonizing the faith. thats demonizing the boys as muslims. thats making a clear link between Islam and the hatred and oppression of gay people. it’s subtle, sure. but it’s definitely there.

and I’m not okay with that. at all.

yes, a lot of muslims do believe being gay is haram. they won’t talk to me. they say I’m a tool of the western world, sick, wrong and going to jahannam. but guess what ? just like a lot of non muslims, christians or otherwise.

homophobia is not dictated by the qu'raan. the tale of Lut was interpreted as a cautionary tale about what shall befall those who practice it. INTERPRETED. it’s not what it says.

a lot of muslims are gay, bi, trans. we exist. we’re not haram. we’re not a paradox. we have lives in our communities.

and for julie to take it upon herself to depict islam as inherently homophobic like that…. she has no right to do that. it’s not her story, not her community, not something she has had to live with. she’s coming at them from a place of power and it’s very, very wrong.

edit : this post is gaining way too many notes so I’m just gonna specify that I’m obviously talking about a western context of things, from the point of view of someone residing in the west. this is a show written by a white woman and it is very much about islam seen through the lens of europe. I am not attempting to defend the stance that islam in its general and global practice is devoid of homophobia because that’s simply false and that would be an insult to non straight muslims living outside the west and what many of them endure. I am very much aware of it and is not at all trying to erase them or to dismiss it for the sake of fighting the islamophobia I face here.
Am I the only one who does not want kpop to be so worldwide known??

Don’t get me wrong, but the idea of kpop being recognized in every corner makes me worried and sick. I like being part of some fandom which is not known everywhere. I like to be in a group of people who enjoy same music and do not spit so much hate. I don’t want kpop become same trash as half of today’s music. And if this continues it will be the same. And another worry is that our beloved boys and girls will be faced to too much pressure. They have such tight schedules right now… how about in few more years? I am not ARMY, but I like BTS… and I am worried that if their popularity will grow, they won’t be able to handle it… and it’s not the only group.

Am I the only one who don’t want kpop videos with one billion views? I am biggest fan of not-that-but-still-underrated groups, but I don’t want them as famous as EXO or BTS, because I know how hard this would be for them. I just want them to be more recognized among kpop world and that they could win some music shows.

I hope I won’t offend anyone. I just wanted to state my worries where may kpop and its protagonists end if it spreads more and more. I just want to stop it. At the beginning it made me happy, now I am more anxious.

Beekeepers are so fucking ridiculous omg

You claim to love your bees like we love our cats and dogs but like…I don’t need to profit from having cats??????? If I could sell their fur or something for a bunch of money I still wouldn’t do it because like, that’s not how loving someone works???? Having companion animals means there’s cost involved, ALWAYS. If you can’t handle the cost without exploiting them, then you’re not a responsible caretaker and you should find them a new home with someone who isn’t going to treat them like a little ATM. Just like people keep chickens and cows and goats without taking their eggs and milk, you too can keep bees without stealing their honey, which they work very hard to make FOR THEMSELVES. Trying to find some “ethical” way of taking honey is just gross creepy dominionism, and you’re never going to get a stamp of approval from me or any other vegans so for god’s sake quit trying. I’m sick of getting messages in my inbox from “ethical” beekeepers. You all suck, quit saying you “love” your bees. What you love is making money off them.

TalesFromYourServer: Sir, I warned you, we don't refund the wings.

Hi everybody! Friendly neighborhood homo-barkeep here! Its my day off and I decided to tell yall this story from Saturday.

As Ive said, my bar has some small food items. One of these is a hellish recipe the owner made for hot wings, theyre amazing, but they will kick your ass if you aren’t a spicy food fanatic. Luckily, we have three levels: Hot Wings, Fire Wings, Hell Wings. The first two arent that bad but the Hell Wings are so hot they have to be prepared with gloves. I dont know all of what the owner puts in, but they marinate for 2 days in their sauce. They are painfully hot if you aren’t used to spicy foods(they make some people sick). The owner requires we warn anyone who orders them.

Anyway, we got a drunk guy at the bar who asked for a menu. So I toss him one and after a few minutes he calls me over and asks for the wings. I go through the spiel:

Me: Sir, are you sure about that? These wings are extremely hot. And once you have ordered them I cannot refund them. I can just give you one to let you try it.

Drunk Guy: Just gimme em. I aint no p***y

I send his order back to the kitchen and I go back to my job. His wings come up and I bring them over with ranch, blue cheese, and thousand island. I decide to walk over to the resturant side and retrieve a glass of milk just in case. I get back about two minutes later. And I am greeted by an always funny sight. A drunk guy, red in the face and sweating, thumping his leg, while a vein threatens to blow out of his forehead. I set the glass in front of him and he takes a drink, swishes it around and swallows, he repeats this drink by drink with the whole glass(I guess he is experienced with hot foods.) and slams the glass down(rude).

He’s panting but no longer red in the face. I look at his basket. He ate one wing and didnt touch the sauces(LPT: when trying wings at a new place, have your first bite with some sort of dip.). He doesnt seem to have any complaints so I go on with my night eventually taking his uneaten wings.

Eventually he flagged me down for his tab I print it out and bring it to him. As soon as I hand it to him he points at the wings on his ticket.

DG: you need to take those off.

Me: [oh this is gonna be good] was there something wrong with them?

DG: yeah they were too spicy.

Me: oh, well sir, I warned you about that when you asked for them. I also told you I can’t give refunds on them.

DG: BUT I ONLY ATE ONE!!

Me: and we had to make 15 of them.

DG: TAKE THEM OFF MY BILL OR I WONT PAY.

Me: sir, I cannot take them off and if you do not pay I will call the police.

He opened his mouth to argue but instead opened his wallet and counted out 67 dollars and told me to make sure to get his change. I didn’t care about the lack of tips. I was happy to have him gone. And I got free wings out of it.

TL;DR- I warned him they were spicy and I couldnt give a refund. Spoiler: he didn’t get a refund.

By: Michael_Ceras_Pubes

The Show must go on

((Okay, so @doodledrawsthings got me interested in hell’s au, and then the subject of mortality came to be. Then @kitkat1003 wrote an amazing fic, and well… this happened)) . . . .

Dear Bendy,

I guess it wouldn’t have been long before Joey and I would kick the bucket. Who would have guessed 70 years in the studio would go by so quickly am I right?

Anyway, I guess this is just a bit of a sendoff before Joey and I take our dirt nap. If by some miracle by God you start getting a sick feeling in your stomache, excessive ink overflow, or wanting to lay in bed for all eternity and contemplate your existence, then just think of this as revenge for trying to drown me in ink on that Thursday those years ago.

So yes, surprise! People die for real here. It’s a damn slow, natural thing we do, a thing we can’t control. No one lasts forever in this world no matter how hard we try to make them last. So you’ll probably think, “Henry! You sicko! Why the hell are you so nonchalant about this?!” I won’t say anything or course, because you know, I’ll be dead.

And besides, you always said that I was a sort of moody guy. I guess you finally rubbed off on me after all these years.
But hey boss, chin up, here comes the better part. We may not last forever, but you, Boris, Alice, everyone else, you guys sure will.

Now you’re probably getting mad at Joey for making you this way right? Even I still think he’s insane for doing what he did, but after this experience I have realized some virtues in his work. Bendy, you’re a legacy. The people of this world know that one day they’re all going to die. Some like me and Joey accept it, but keep on hoping. But there are others who know it, but they’ve given up all hope. They forget how to laugh and enjoy their time here because they don’t see the point.

That’s where you and the gang come in. When Me and Joey drew you, we wanted to make you all into someone everyone would love. You’d make them laugh, cry, even get scared when you try to drown them in a flood of ink and suffering (I’m never letting this go, not over my dead body). Because what you do reminds them that despite it all, life can be fun.

Wipe that ink off your face bucko, you’re only halfway through the sentiment.

This is for Boris. In case you’re still wondering who’s a good boy, well, I’ve got the answer buddy. It was you all along.
Keep swinging that clarinet of yours like there’s no tomorrow, because you never know when someone’s gonna need some cheering up from a certain good boy. (It’s still you, you loveable pup) Don’t worry about us okay buddy? We’ll be fine. Just make sure Bendy doesn’t cause too much trouble alright?

Now for Alice, who knows, maybe you will end up as popular as Bendy some day (I said might Bendy, don’t get all huffy). In the meantime, keep those boys in line as much as you can. They need you more than they think they do. And remember to tell Boris to turn off the system after recording, no one likes hearing Wally singing “Dancin’ Queen” acapella.

And finally, we’d like to thank you all for bieng our crew. Thank you for the laughs, the pick-me-ups, the random dances, the naggy critics, even the times you tried to drown us in ink. But most importantly, thank you for bieng our legacy. You made our dreams come true, now go on and make everyone else’s do the same.

Goodbye, kiddo.

Your creators and friends,

Joey and Henry.

So, I always see that, when it comes to mixed asari families, there seems to be an assumption that the asari side holds all the power. That the way asari age gives them an unfair advantage, that there’s a power imbalance. After all, twenty years in a relationship is nothing for an asari right? Drop in the bucket. And while I don’t agree, because asari seem to think and feel at the same speed we do, that’s not the part that really bothers me. It’s the kids and the fathers. That asari culture emphasizes motherhood and that mother raise children alone by choice, deliberately closing the door on the fathers’ faces. It’s implied.

So, give me asari who like their non-asari relatives. Give asari who protect their in-laws fiercely because family is more than blood. Give me asari who cling to their family no matter their race.

Give me a turian whose brother married an asari and when he dies, it’s his wife who takes care of his family. Give me asari grand-aunts-in-law who keep track of their in-laws through generations and knows everybody’s birthdays and always has to send gifts to the four corners of the galaxy. Give me asari who served 80 years in the hierarchy like their dads and cousins. Give me a turian who cut ties with her own asari half-grand-aunt some generations removed because she doesn’t think she has the right, but when her kid is a biotic, that asari is there to help, because “you may not like me young lady but your father did and your grandmother did and like hell I’m going to let their great-grandson and so learn from turian ‘biotics’” matriarch wisdom.

Give me “Blue” salarian clans, dynasties intertwined with asari lines since first contact. Where there isn’t a distinction between asari family members and salarian family members because they’ve been taking care of each other for 2700 years. Give me salarians whose research started with their great-great-great-grandfather and his asari daughter, who was there every step of the way for every generation, and is their research partner now. Give me asari who go to every funeral, and there’s one every two years but there’s also new eggs to fawn over every three.

Give me an asari who goes with their volus half-sibling to Irune when they grow old, and doesn’t mind the environmental suit, because they’re just walking in their shoes for some years when they spent a lifetime trapped in the same suits just to be able to live alongside the other races.

Give me batarian orphans taken in by asari relatives who don’t care about their caste or what the rest of the republics think about their culture. Give asari who still haven’t given up on their estranged half-sibling’s descendants, even when they face threats and every family meeting ends on a debate about ethics and morals.

Give me asari who buy ships and give it to their quarian relatives, because maybe they can’t convince them to settle down planetside, but they can support them nonetheless. Give me more asari who died on Rannoch.

Give me asari who fuss all over their elcor nephews when they take a fall even though it’s completely unnecessary in conventional gravity and get all fussed over when they take a fall because asari are so tiny and fragile.

Give me generations of drell who all have the same asari face in their memories because it’s always the same asari who comes to Khaje to visit, and gets to know their new family members, and is there when sickness takes their breath away.

Give me asari who help their krogan siblings get into thessian universities. Give me asari who live on Tuchanka and keep on trying when the rest of the galaxy call the krogan a lost cause.

Give me half-feral vorcha clans who worship the blue goddess who visits sometimes with gifts from the stars, and the asari cares about them, but still encourages that because some people are just a special kind of crazy (and lactose intolerant) (and totally a space pirate).

Give me a bullied hanar whose parents make a mysterious vid-call, and a week later there’s a squad of Eclipse commandos ready to beat some bullies up in the living room, and a rough matriarch in the kitchen who calls their grand-parent kiddo and has the best stories ever.

Montgomery x Reader Imagine (Part 1/?)

So on my other blog I asked if someone would like series imagine when Montgomery is fwb with reader and because I got over 70 notes at the moment and felt like a rockstar I decided to start a new blog for this and for everything related to 13 reasons why.

NOTE:TWO IMPORTANT THINGS:
1. It’s going to be a series, so they haven’t gotten really close yet.
2. English is not my first language, I’m sorry for any grammar mistakes or something, if you spot any, feel free to let me know :)



***
It was last Friday before school started again and Bryce decided to throw his typical huge pool party. You didn’t really feel like coming but Sheri called you about 50 times in last two days asking you to come and you finally gave up.
“Mom, I’m leaving! See you tomorrow!”, you shouted leaving the house. Your parents let you stay at Sheri’s place so you didn’t have to worry about coming home and still being a little buzzed.
“Bye honey, have a nice time!”, you heard your mom when you were closing the door.
Jeff, you best friend, was already here, waiting for you in his car.
“Jeez, I always have to wait for you”, he said when you got in.
“It’s nice to see you too, Jeffrey”, you ignored his moaning.
“Don’t make me wait for you after the party, or I will leave you there", he threatened, but you knew it was a joke.
You have known each other since you were 5 years old, he’s for you like a brother and he treats keeping Bryce away from you as his full time job.
“I’m staying at Sheri’s place so you don’t have to wait, don’t worry”, you smiled at him.
“Someone’s gonna get wasted today, huh?”
“I don’t know yet, Sheri made me go", I shrugged my arms.
Fifteen minutes lates we were at Bryce’s place, Jeff stopped the car and you went at the back of the house.
“Yooo, Jeff, Y/N!”, Justin Foley was the first one to notice you two.
“Hi Justin”, you answered looking for Sheri.
“Hey, you”, suddenly she jumped on you from behind. “ You got everything?”
“Yep, ready for sleepover”, you smiled.
“ Great!”, she clapped. “Where’s your bathing suit? Get changed and lets go to the pool”
“It’s already on me”, you let her look under your t-shirt dress.
“What do you have there, I wanna see too”, you hear Montgomery as he comes to you and Sheri and he puts his arms around your and her shoulders.
“You’re funny man, Monty, really funny”, you clapped his chest, and go with Sheri to put your stuff next to hers.
“I think he has a thing for you”, she said.
“Who, Monty?”, you laughed. “Come on, he has a thing for anything that moves”.
Suddenly someone grabbed you around the waist and throwed you into the pool.
“What the fuck?!”, you screamed when you resurfaced out of the water and saw who throwed you in. “Zach, you know I can’t swim”.
“Yeah, that’s why Justin waits right there, to grab you if there was a need”.
You turned around and saw Justin standing behind you.
“ Great, but couldn’t you wait until I take my dress off?”, you asked.
“Come on, we’ll grab some drinks, you’ll hang your dress on chair, it will be dry in less than hour”, Sheri gave you her hand and helped you get out of the pool.
You are a simple girl, you see vodka, you mix it with cola and so you did this time. You took of your dress and suddenly Monty showed up out of nowhere.
“I will wait in the pool”, Sheri mumbled and went to the pool as fast as glass full of drink let her.
“Lookin’ good, Y/N”, he said as he eyed you up and down.
You took a straw, put it in the glass, turned towards him, put it in your mouth and took a sip looking straight in his face while he stared at your lips probably imagining the straw was his dick.
Fucking horny bastard , you thought to yourself.
“In your dreams, Montgomery, in your dreams”, you walked past him.
“We’ll see”, he whispered.
You went to the pool and sat next to Sheri.
“Hi, guys”, Jessica swam to you. “What did you said to Monty, he stares at you all the time”, she asked.
“I told you”, Sheri punched your arm.
“And I told you”, you punched her too, “that he stares at anything that moves”.
“Well, yeah, it’s Montgomery, but…”, Jess took a break to take a sip of her drink, “there are bunch of hot girls in bathing suit today and he stares ONLY at you”.
“Probably because I’m one of very few left that didn’t make out with him”.
“You know, that if you do it some time, we won’t judge you”.
“Okay, I will make it clear”, you put your glass at the edge of the pool. “I admit, he’s fucking handsome and… I mean… Look at those abs. But other than that he’s so fucking stupid, typical arrogant jock, hot head that is first to fight”
“Alright then”, Sheri smiled.
All three of you are in the cheerleaders team so you spend some time talking about new routines and moves you could incorporate.
“Ladies”, Justin and Jeff came up to you, “ We need two of you to play a round of beer pong with us”.
“You drink, Atkins?”, you asked.
“No, I’m just gonna throw the ball, someone else is gonna do the drinking part”
It was obvious Jess is gonna play with Justin and because Sheri wasnt really into drinking games you had to play with Jeff.
“I just finished my drink, so I’m in, just bring me my dress” you pointed it as you didn’t want to walk past bunch od jockes wearing only bathing suit.
“Yes, ma'am”, he went to grab it and you slowly got out of the water.
You and Jess both were terrible at beer pong, so the game lasted ages and more and more people were gathering around the table waiting for their turn. You throw a ball and missed again.
“ Oh fuck me, Y/L/N”, Monty rolled his eyes.
“You wouldn’t handle this, babe”, you answered and everyone giggled waiting for him to response. Justin giggled so much he missed the shot while Jessica and Sheri stand speechless with their mouths open.
“Alright”, he said with a halfsmile.
***
Few hours later it got chillier, so you get in hot tub with few other people.
“Guys, I gotta go”, Jeff came over to say bye.
“You leaving?”
“Yeah, I promised dad to help him in the morning”, he said. “Girls”, he turned to you and Sheri, “if you need a ride home just call me.”
“My dad will pick us up, but thank you”, Sheri said.
“Okay, see you on Monday”
“Bye, Jeff”, you waved at him.
Some time later Sheri went to help other girl get to the bathroom, cause she felt sick and Justin and Jessica left too after you told them to get a room when the started heavy make out session. You soon regret it, cause suddenly it was only you and Montgomery. He got into got tub, holding to shots of tequila.
“Will you do me this honor?”, he handed you one of the shots.
“Whatever”, you rolled your eyes and drank tequila looking him right in the eyes.
“So…”, he started with a cocky grin on his face. “It’s just two of us. In a hot tub. Wearing barely anything”
“I already said it today, but I will repeat it for you”, you lean a little bit towards him, “this time read my lips. In. Your. Dreams. Monty”.
“Oh really?”, he asked still looking at your lips.
You felt his hand softly going up and down your back, you could’ve moved away but somehow you didn’t want to. He grabbed your waist, pull you closer and basically attacked you with his lips. And again, you didn’t push him away. Instead, you tucked your fingers into his hair pulling yourself even closer to him. You still hated him as a person, nothing has changed, but there was something about his kisses and his touch, you didn’t know what it was, but you didn’t want it to stop. It made shivers going down your spine. You felt him smiling as he moved his lips to your ear.
“Liberty high’s sweetheart also has needs, huh?”, he whispered and started kissing your neck. Alright, Monty came back to being Monty.
You felt his abs clenched under your touch.
Oh boy, I will fuck you up and you will not like it , you thought.
You felt him sucking your collarbone.
“No hickeys, Monty”, you slightly moved away.
“As you wish”, he pulled you back closer, started kissing you jaw. His hands went from your thighs, to your butt, squized it, went higher up to untie your bra.
“Easy boy”, you moved away from him, he couldn’t reach your back anymore so he placed them on your thighs moving closer again.
“No, no, no”, you whispered putting your foot on his strategic place and rub it gently.
Seeing grin of satisfaction on his face, you slowly came closer, but he wasted no time, grabbed you by your hips, put on his lap and kissed you again. You took his hands and put them on edges of hot tub.
“Keep your hands to yourself”, you said looking him in the eyes.
Your hands went slowly through his elbows to shoulders and down chest to the abs. You sucked his bottom lip, put tip of finger under his boxers and moved it from hip to hip. You felt him growing under you.
“Do I turn you on?”, you asked getting of his lap, placing your hands on the inside of his thighs.
“God, you’re so hot”, he whispered.
“Y/N!”, you heard Sheri.
What a perfect timing.
“Yep?”, you asked.
She was standing in the entrance and couldn’t see you from there but you still moved as far away from Monty as possible.
He looked confused as fuck.
“My dad is here, we gotta go”, she shouted.
“Okay, I’m coming”.
“I’ll bring you a towel, so you can dry yourself”, she went back inside.
“What the fuck are you doing?”, Montgomery asked, still confused.
“Liberty high’s fuckboy also can get played, huh?”, you whispered into his ear.
You left the hot tub.
“Get back in here!”
“Or what? You gonna chase me around with your boner?”
You saw Sheri coming up.
“It was fun”, you said louder.
“Here”, she gave you a towel.
“Thanks”, you started drying yourself.
“Boys are inside, they have some weed if you want”.
“Thanks, Sheri, I’m good”, de la Cruz tried his best to sound normal.
Sheri helped you pick up your stuff, you looked at Montgomery, saw him biting his fist. You put your dress on and grab your stuff.
“Good talk, Monty, see you on Monday”, you waved and followed Sheri to the car with a smile of the satisfaction on your face.

Let me know what you think, is it okay if I write in second person (is that even second person)? More action and more smut coming soon x

Grammys part three: Josh Dun imagine

Y/N: Boys’ pants off, Josh turned on, Grammys night part three, let’s goooooooooooo

Part one: http://thepatricktreestump.tumblr.com/post/157222084267/grammys-josh-dun-imagine
Part two: http://thepatricktreestump.tumblr.com/post/157337756582/grammys-part-two-josh-dun-imagine

Anonymous said:
Omg, please tell me there’s gonna be a part 3 to the grammys???? You can’t leave that kinda cliff hanger!!!! Dosh Josh behave or not, do Tyler and Jenna figure out what’s going on?? Please, please, please tell us!!!???

*continued female reader, smut, last segment to this trilogy

Normally, you two would’ve just gone home and fucked each other senseless. You would’ve teased each other the entire ride home and then gotten in the bedroom and let loose. You would’ve definitely had quite a night. However, it didn’t go quite as anticipated or planned. After dinner, which to your surprise, both of you behaved fairly well, and Jenna and Tyler didn’t quite let the two of you off the hook. “I don’t want this night to end,” Tyler sighed. “I feel like I’m on the top of the world.”

“I’m so proud of you guys,” you agreed. “You could literally take on anything now.”

“You’ve already tackled so many other challenges, you’re basically unstoppable!” Jenna grinned.

“Hell, who knows. Maybe we’ll win the Olympics next,” Josh joked.

“We’ll start training tomorrow,” Tyler teased. “No but really, I don’t want this night to end. We should go see a movie or walk around town or something. I know it’s late, but I’m still super high on life.”

“That sounds like a plan,” Jenna smiled. “What do you guys think?”

Josh and you looked at each other, and you could tell in his eyes he was still yearning for what you had planned later. You were about to make up a lie about how you still didn’t feel too well when Tyler interrupted you. “Hold on, I’m getting a call,” Tyler explained, putting his phone up to his ear.

“Who is it?” Jenna wondered.

“Josh, it’s your mom!” Tyler laughed. “Hold on, Laura, I’m going to put you on speaker.”

“What?” you hissed angrily, jabbing Josh in the arm. “You have the time to sext me in the middle of dinner but you can’t even give your mom a quick phone call?”

“Hi boys!” she greeted happily. “I’m so proud of you!”

“Yeah mom,” Josh chuckled, giving you a look as to drop the subject. “Thanks.”

“We have a little surprise for you!” she explained. “I’m going to send an address to where the party is and I want you all to come. I think you already ate but there’s some snacks and stuff.”

“What are you talking about?” Josh wondered. “You’re all in Los Angeles? Right now?”

“Kelly set it up,” she explained. “I just helped. Tyler’s parents helped and Zack and Jay are here, Jordan too, everyone really. Even Ashley and Abby and Madison. They all headed over after the awards.”

“Mom,” Josh stated. “We’re at dinner right now.”

“I know, I know,” she reassured. “But after you guys are done, just come over here. We rented out a nice little place. Everyone’s waiting for you boys, and your lovely women too.”

“I think it’s a great idea,” you quickly chimed in. “It’s a perfect celebration.”

“She’s right,” Jenna agreed. “Come on, Josh. Let’s drag out the happy all night long.”

“Just a small party,” Tyler shrugged. “Right?”

“Fine,” Josh complied, glancing at you, frustrated. “We’ll head over soon mom.”

“Thank you,” she giggled. “Can’t wait to see you all. Love you.”

“Love you!” you all responded before Josh hung up and handed Tyler the phone.

“You never told me your mom set up a party for us,” Josh laughed.

“I never knew,” Tyler replied. “Evidently she did.”

“You’d think Jordan would tell me,” Josh rolled his eyes.

“I guess not,” Tyler sighed. “Well we better hurry over.”

“Yeah,” Jenna nodded. “Let’s get the bill and head out soon.”

As soon as you and Josh got in the car, he blew up. “I can’t believe my mom would do that!” he groaned aloud, forcefully sticking the keys in the ignition and pulling out of the parking lot. “You think she’d just want me to spend the night with you, but no!”

“Josh calm down,” you put a hand on his shoulder but he jerked it away.

“No! You don’t understand!” he muttered. “I’ve literally been dying all dinner long.”

“Then maybe we can do something quick,” you suggested. “Before we get to the party.”

“I just want to fuck you,” he whispered, glancing at you. “Really, really, really bad.”

“They flew all the way here from Columbus,” you insisted.

“I know but you just look so hot in that dress, baby,” Josh murmured, taking a turn on the road. “And your hair, it looks so good too. You were by far the best one there at the Grammys.”

“You were the one who took off your pants,” you reminded.

“And I’ll do it again,” he gave a sly smile. “How about that?”

“Just for me this time,” you argued, sliding a hand towards his upper thigh as he drove. “All for me, Josh.”

“Fuck baby, don’t do that when I’m driving,” he chuckled darkly, and you withdrew your hand, blushing. “You’re tempting me so bad you know.”

“To do what?” you challenged.

“To pull off the side of the road right now, lock all the doors, take you in the back seat, and fuck you right here, right now,” he explained, eyes fixed on the road, trying to concentrate.

“Naughty boy,” you clicked your tongue.

“Can’t help it when you’re around,” he shook his head. “You do things to me. You don’t even know.”

“Oh I’m sure I do know,” you smirked. “I know how bad you want it.”

“Then stop teasing me and just fake sick at the party so we can go home and just finally fucking do this,” he begged. “Please y/n, I can barely take it anymore.”

“One hour,” you promised. “One hour at the party and then maybe I’ll contemplate it.”

“Contemplate?” he raised his eyebrows, turning into the parking lot of the venue. “No, babe. You have to. Come on, Jenna’s going to vouch for you cause she knows how bad you felt at dinner. It would all work out.”

“We’ll see what happens,” you sighed, giving him a soft kiss on the cheek. “Maybe if you behave then I’ll make up my mind.”

“Goddammit I hate you,” he grumbled.

“You fucking love me,” you grinned, knowing very well you were using his own words against him. He just laughed, both of you deciding to have another kiss before getting out of the car, then heading into the venue, his arm around your waist, looking hella fine in your fancy Grammys outfits.

As soon as you entered everyone cheered loudly, both of you earning a huge applause and a million eyes on you all at once, but the two of you froze. There was no way you were anticipating this many people. You thought maybe the two families and a couple of friends, but this was like an entire wedding reception or something. There was no way you’d be leaving in just an hour. “Want to escape out the door while we still can?” Josh joked but you narrowed your eyes at him, plastering on a smile as soon as his mom Laura approached you.

“Aw look at you two!” she beamed. “You’re so fancy, oh my goodness.”

“I didn’t know so many people were going to be here mom,” Josh murmured, probably nervous.

“I didn’t either but I guess uh, Tyler’s brother Zack tweeted out the address and a couple of people saw it and decided to come,” she shrugged.

“A couple of people?” Josh widened his eyes. “This is like the Grammys itself!”

“Oh gosh,” you stared at your phone and read the tweet aloud. “Twenty One Pilots Grammys after-party!”

“Of course Zach would do something like that,” Josh grumbled. “Okay, well thanks for the party anyways. It’s very nice. I can’t wait to get down and meet some people, dance with y/n hopefully, eat some great food.”

“Absolutely,” Laura smiled, giving both of you a huge hug. “It’s for you and Tyler, so have fun. We’re all so very proud of you. I love you.”

“Love you too mom,” he gave a small smile. “Now come on y/n, let’s shake our booties on that dance floor!”

“Sure,” you rolled your eyes and laughed.

“You guys came!” Jenna squealed happily, tugging Tyler over to meet you guys. “You feeling a little better, y/n?” You looked in her eyes, seeing how genuinely happy she was, how excited and proud, how caring. You couldn’t just leave this party, all these sweet people, everything both of their families sacrificed and set up, just so you could fuck Josh for a night. Josh looked at you, almost with begging eyes, wishing you’d just say you felt miserable, but you couldn’t do that. You just couldn’t.

“I feel great,” you grinned. “This set up is amazing! I’m so glad we came.”

“Yeah,” Josh stated flatly, grip on your waist tightening. “So happy to be here.”

“Come on bro,” Tyler tapped him on the shoulder. “There’s some people I want you to meet.”

“Cool,” Josh took a deep breath. “Uh, I’ll see you around y/n. Keep your phone on you?”

“Oh no, no, no,” you shook your head immediately, knowing exactly what was going on. “My phone is almost dead and I’m not going to play anymore of your little games. You go behave and have fun with Tyler. Got it?” You gave him a quick kiss on the cheek.

“Fine,” he mumbled, faking a smile and going off with Ty.

“So what was dinner all about?” Jenna narrowed her eyes when the boys left. “I mean come on, the gasping and moaning? What was that?”

“Josh was being a dick,” you rolled your eyes. “Nothing important.”

“And the phones too,” she added. “You guys okay?”

“Yeah,” you nodded. “It’s fine.”

“Are you guys…” she left a small pause and you tensed. “Breaking up?”

“What?” your eyes went wide. “No, not at all.”

“Oh okay,” she shrugged. “I don’t know. You just seemed like you were arguing about something and I thought maybe he was kicking your leg underneath the table or jabbing your side. Tyler kind of gets a little agitated when he’s angry with me too and does that kind of stuff. I just wanted to make sure everything was okay.”

“It’s fine,” you reassured. “I just felt a little sick and he wasn’t helping. He’s just playing around.”

“Got it,” she nodded slowly. “Well I’m going to get going. I have some people I have to talk to. Have a great night, y/n. I’ll see you later!”

“Bye Jenna!” you waved. You took a deep breath, then decided to go over to the table of food and grab a small snack. There was a gorgeous cake, topped with a skeleton and alien sugar sculpture, which you thought was probably the works of the sisters. They always had a knack for the cooking, especially around the holiday time. You scooped up a handful of jelly beans, popping one in your mouth when you felt a tap on your shoulder from behind you. You spun around to face Jordan, Josh’s brother.

“Hey y/n,” he smiled.

“Oh hey,” you greeted.

“How was dinner?” he raised an eyebrow.

“It was good,” you nodded.

“Did you like what you saw on stage tonight?” he smirked. You turned bright red.

“W-what?” you tried to hide your blushing but he just chuckled.

“Ah, I got quite an interesting text tonight,” Jordan explained. “I assume it was for you, seeing as Josh said oops and all, and then avoided my seven phone calls.”

“He was just teasing,” you shrugged, trying to dismiss the subject. “You know how he is.”

“Are you sure you guys were at dinner?” he persisted.

“We were,” you narrowed your eyes. “You can ask Tyler and Jenna.”

“Or Josh himself,” Jordan added. “I’m sure he’d tell me quite the story.”

“Shut up,” you rolled your eyes.

“So do tell me,” he insisted. “Did you like what you saw on stage tonight?”

“I could ask you the same thing,” you sighed. “Now go on and cause trouble elsewhere.”

“I’m just playing with you,” he laughed. “Hey, have a good night y/n. And make sure Josh behaves.”

“Oh I will,” you reassured. “I always do.”

“Speaking of the devil,” Jordan pointed to Josh coming over. “Hey, you guys have fun tonight. Take it easy.”

“You too,” you waved him goodbye.

“Hey babe,” Josh wrapped his arms around you, pressing a soft kiss to your lips, pulling you closer. “Let’s get out of here.”

“Josh,” you pushed him back slightly, glaring at him. “No.”

“Yes,” he insisted. “Please.”

“Where would we even go?” you narrowed your eyes. “Definitely not home.”

“Fine,” he bit his lower lip. “Car?”

“No,” you shook your head. “No way.”

“Then let’s go find a place,” he mumbled against your neck, pressing light kisses to your skin. “Baby I’m dying without you.”

“I know, I know,” you reassured.

“Come on, I’m sure there’s a place we can go,” Josh argued. “I’ve literally been waiting since before dinner, sweetheart.”

“Me too,” you admitted. “But we’ve got to be polite.”

“If I find somewhere can we go?” he pleaded. “Please? It will be quick, I don’t care, I just need this.”

“Fine,” you complied, pulling him in for an open mouthed kiss, then letting go. “You have half an hour tops. Then we wait until the end of the night.”

“Got it,” he agreed, giving you a kiss on the forehead before running off, searching for who knows what.

“Where’d he head off to?” a voice behind you wondered with a chuckle. You spun around and then almost had a heart attack when you realized who it was.

“Holy shit!” you gasped, putting a hand to your chest. “Hey.”

“Hi,” Halsey laughed. “Did I scare you?”

“A little bit,” you confessed. “Just didn’t see you coming.”

“That’s alright,” she reassured. “Is Josh okay? He looked kind of anxious running off like that. I was going to congratulate him.”

“Oh,” you blushed. “He’s just um, looking for Tyler. Something important I think, he wouldn’t tell me.”

“Got it,” she nodded slowly. “Well- oh! There he is!”

“Hey,” Josh looked nervous when he plastered on a smile, engulfing Halsey in a hug. “Long time, no see.”

“Yeah,” she rolled her eyes. “I wanted to congratulate you boys! That’s awesome!”

“You too,” he nodded. “Two nominations, that’s insane!”

“Thanks,” she nodded. “So-”

“I’m sorry but me and y/n really have to go,” he apologized. “It’s important.”

“Ah, uh, okay,” she frowned slightly. “It’s cool. I’ll talk to you later then?”

“Yeah,” Josh agreed hurriedly. “Thanks so much!”

“No problem,” she gave a hesitant smile before Josh dragged you out of the conversation, tugging you by the arm up a flight of steps and down a hallway.

“I cannot fucking believe you!” you hissed. “You just freaking dragged me away from a conversation with Halsey!”

“So what?” he replied. “I’m sure if you really wanted to talk to her so bad, you could find another time later tonight.”

“Josh you’ve been going insane,” you argued, wresting free of his grip on your arm and staring at him. “This is out of control.”

“You’re the reason,” he mumbled, dark eyes boring into yours. “God you look so good tonight. I can’t help myself.”

“Yeah?” you smirked, noticing the way he was biting his lower lip, the beads of sweat on his forehead, the rise and fall of his chest.

“Yeah,” he nodded.

“What if I told you you’re not allowed to touch me for the rest of the night, hmm?” you raised an eyebrow, slipping a finger underneath the strap of your dress, dragging it down your shoulder while remaining eye contact with him, watching as his eyes followed your hand in a trance, gaze fixed on every new exposition of skin as you pulled the fabric lower.

“Fuck baby, don’t do this in the hallway,” he ran a hand though his bright yellow curls, tugging hard in frustration, biting down harder on his lip. He glanced to the side, making sure nobody was coming. “Come on, there’s a room just a little while away, I promise.”

“Nah,” you shook your head, smirking as you realized he was getting turned on. You shrugged off the other sleeve of your dress and watched as the fabric fell to your waist, revealing your lacy bra. “I’m comfortable here.”

“Goddammit what if someone sees you?” he whispered.

“Why should I care?” you wondered. “I mean, everyone saw you just fine babe.”

“No,” Josh shook his head immediately. “It’s not like that.”

“Oh but I think it is,” you insisted. “Taking your pants off in front of everyone at the Grammys, standing there in your underwear, everyone looking at you… you didn’t seem to care.”

“That was Tyler’s idea,” he muttered. “Look, I wouldn’t have done that if I knew you didn’t want me to.”

“I don’t know,” you sighed. “Would you care if I was the one standing up there? Stripping down to my underwear like this? Everyone’s eyes fixed on me? Staring at my body? My body that belongs to you?”

“You belong to me,” he insisted.

“Exactly,” you agreed. “So what makes you think the same rules don’t apply to you?”

“I didn’t think you’d care,” he mumbled, looking shy and scared.

“You don’t think I care?” you challenged. “Every night when you take off your shirt at shows? When you’re tugging down your pants on stage? You don’t think I see that, babe?”

“Fuck, please don’t do this here,” he begged, and you glanced down, realizing he had an obvious hard on. “Let’s go to the room.” He reached for your arm but you quickly took a step back, letting the fabric of your dress fall to the floor, and he gasped, eyes transfixed on your body.

“Why should I let you touch me?” you inquired. “I mean, you said it, I don’t care. Do I?”

“Babe that’s not what I meant-” he began, but you shook your head.

“No, I think you did,” you clicked your tongue disapprovingly. There was a pause and then an idea came to mind. “Hmmm you know, maybe I should go back to the party like this. Let everyone see me, let them know how fucking sexy I am, how you’re not the only one who can put on a show.”

“Y/n-” Josh was staring at you, pants growing tighter by the second, straining his voice. “You wouldn’t dare.”

“Maybe I would,” you teased. “I’d be the life of the party, wouldn’t I?”

“I can’t let anyone else see you like this baby,” he argued. “You’re all mine.”

“Am I?” you raised an eyebrow, watching his mouth hang open, speechless, as you dipped a hand underneath your underwear.

“Don’t you fucking dare,” he warned.

“Who’s going to stop me?” you chuckled. “You?”

“Y/n you’re killing me,” he argued. “Fuck just let me touch you. Please.”

“How bad do you want this?” you raised an eyebrow, slipping a finger between your folds and letting out a gasp, watching as Josh’s eyes widened and he tightened his jaw as he watched you, and a smile curled on your lips. “You want this to be you, baby?”

“Yes,” he pleaded. “I need this so bad.”

“I don’t know…” you trailed off your voice, then started to pump another finger inside you, and you let out a soft moan, opening your eyes and looking at Josh, who just about looked like he was going to melt right there.

“I’m begging you y/n,” he inhaled a ragged breath. “Just let me get my hands on you.”

“What’s the magic word?” you smirked.

“Please,” he barely was able to respond.

“Okay,” you smiled, and there wasn’t even a split second that passed before he lunged towards you, pinning your body against the wall, hands behind your head, on your back, on your ass, between your legs, down your thighs, everywhere all at once. His lips attacked yours, tongue absorbing greedy kisses, sliding down your neck, his hips grinding against your already soaking core, hands fumbling with the clasp of your bra when he pulled back, eyes staring into yours.

“You thinking what I’m thinking?” he asked.

“Let’s get out of the motherfucking hallway,” you agreed. You began to kiss him again, wrapping your legs around his waist as he bent down to pick up the fabric of your dress, carrying you towards the room. After violently jostling the doorknob, it finally gave in, and he kicked the door shut with his foot and placed you on a table, tossing your dress aside and attacking you with kisses. You moaned into his mouth, legs still wrapped around him as he pushed your back into the table, grinding against you, and when he pulled away to catch his breath, you looked around, smirking. “Conference table? Really?”

“Best I could find,” he mumbled, burying his head in your neck and sucking at your skin, leaving you a mess of gasps and moans.

“F-fuck Josh,” you stuttered, him unclasping your bra and sliding it up off of your arms, then exploring your breasts and stomach with his lips, trailing kisses across your body.

“Can you believe just moments ago you were saying no to this?” he laughed quietly, tugging down your panties and tossing them aside. “Shit baby, you’re just as much of a mess as I am.”

“Just for you,” you reminded.

“Of course,” he grinned. “You’re all mine.” He delved his tongue into you and you let out a loud moan, feeling your stomach tighten with each movement, his hands gripping on your hips, your fingers tugging on locks of his hair, his nose pressed against your clit, your legs wrapped around his head.

“Josh I’m going to cum,” you barely whispered.

“Do it baby,” he insisted. “Show me how bad you want me inside you.”

“Fuck,” you gasped, coming undone and feeling your orgasm ripple through your body as you eased into the surface of the table, leaning your head back and gasping for breath as Josh licked and sucked between your legs.

“Mmm you taste so good babygirl,” he mumbled. He stood up and tugged off his tie, unbuttoned his shirt, stripping down and sliding off his jeans, then his underwear, climbing on top of you. “And to think you were teasing me all night long, acting like you wouldn’t let me touch you, pretending like you could wait til you got home, trying to act all cool. I could see right through you y/n, I know how bad you want me.”

“Fuck Josh, please,” you begged. “Shit babe, just fuck me already.”

“I don’t know,” he smirked. “Maybe I shouldn’t let you touch me either.”

“Don’t try to pull that right now,” you shook your head, pushing your hips up in attempts to meet his. “I need you so bad.”

“How bad?” he challenged.

“Fuck,” you gasped, frustrated and exhausted, flipping him over so he was the one laying on the conference table, pushing down your hips and sinking his cock into you, pressing your lips against his in a mess of muffled moans.

“You’re so fucking sexy when you’re dominant like this babe,” Josh mumbled against your neck, both of you in sync with thrusts, your hips moving together in perfect rhythm, the two of you both desperate and harsh with each movement.

“Mm they’re going to be looking for us you know,” you sighed, still relentlessly fucking him against the table. “Wondering where we went.”

“And nobody’s going to know about it,” he gave a sly smile. “Nobody but me is going to know how fucking wonderful you are riding my cock like this, baby.”

“Just our little secret,” you promised. “Just the two of us.” You kept going harder and harder until finally the two of you were gasping for air, cumming at the same time, moaning each other’s names loudly and collapsing onto the table, clinging onto each other’s sweaty, exhausted, tired bodies.

“Three of us,” a voice corrected and both you and Josh widened your eyes, scared and surprised.

“Fuck,” you cursed.

“Hey uh, Josh, buddy?” Tyler’s voice came through the crack in the door. Shit, he must’ve found you guys. “Two things I’ve got to tell you. First off, we’re supposed to give a speech soon, so when you’re um, done with that, you should head down. And secondly, always lock the door bro.”

“Yeah,” Josh responded, embarrassed.

“Okay, cool,” Tyler laughed. “Our secret though, it’s fine.”

“Yeah, yeah,” you grumbled. “See you Ty.”

“Hurry up,” he reminded.

“Will do,” Josh reassured, watching as Tyler closed the door with a soft laugh.

“Think we were too loud?” you raised an eyebrow.

“Nah, Tyler’s just being sneaky as fuck,” he shook his head. “God you felt so good though, baby.”

“You always feel good,” you smirked, placing a quick kiss to his lips.

“You going to put your dress back on, babe?” Josh wondered.

“Hmmm, I don’t know,” you teased.

“You better,” he warned.

“Or what?” you challenged.

“Or we might have to come back here later tonight,” he suggested.

“That wouldn’t be a bad thing,” you smiled.

“Come on,” he shook his head, laughing. “Let’s get dressed and then we’ll head down and try to look as composed as possible.”

“Fine,” you decided. “But do know that you look so much better without pants.”

“Thanks,” he blushed. “Now let’s go down there and hope I don’t mess up this stupid speech.”

When you arrived, you were greeted with a loud applause, and you gave Josh a kiss on the cheek before Tyler dragged him out to the middle of the dance floor, the two of them holding a microphone and spilling out a sweet sappy story of how far they’ve come and how thankful they are for today. That’s when Jordan decides to stand beside you, and he stays mostly quiet, except for when Josh comes back and Jordan is a mess of laughter. “Great job, Josh,” you smiled.

“Yeah,” Jordan snickered. “You did amazing. But uh, you might want to lend your little girlfriend over here a sweater or something.”

“How come?” Josh wondered, turning to look at you and then blinking twice.

“What?” you wondered.

“Hickeys,” Jordan smirked. “Looks like you guys had a little fun when you went missing, hmm?”

“Shut up,” Josh narrowed his eyes.

“Just saying,” Jordan shrugged. “I mean, your shirt’s not even buttoned up all the way for Pete’s sake.”

“Goodness gracious,” Josh mumbled, face turning red.

“Whatever,” you laughed. “At least it was a memorable night.”

“Oh believe me, sweetheart,” Josh laughed, wrapping his arms around your waist. “The night’s not even over yet.”

The Slow Flood

You ever feel like there are times in this world when the law of attraction is happening without your knowledge and using its pull on things you aren’t trying to focus on?

Since the start of this year, it seems like there’s been a very freaky “slow flood” of what can’t be called anything other than revelation cringe. And every time some fresh hell arrives and pulls off its mask to show me the ugly face it’s been hiding for years, some form of media bursts onscene a moment later to give me a shocking artistic parallel to the story I’m seeing in life. I turn away from the new revelation to catch my breath, try to walk away from what I know for a second, distract myself with some media, and suddenly I’m looking into a real black mirror.

Art has been imitating life for a bit, now, and life keeps pushing some top-notch cringe or shock material in front of me when I’m just getting comfortable.

I know things about some stuff I shouldn’t know that’s kind of hilarious, sad and horrible. I’m also one of many thousands of people lately who are now aware of something awful that had been going on for years that’s a real gut-puncher. I’m part of a few groups who know things that are very tough pills to swallow.

The list of things that make me feel like ignorance is bliss just keeps growing. The Lasagna Cat discoveries were just one hit in a succession of crazy moments witnessing the true form of some gross truths.

And tonight, studying the next CFD entry and seeing who was behind it, their behavior, and understanding all too well what I’m looking at now, it just gets worse. I’m talking early Chris-Chan levels of embarrassing.

Part of me hopes it will stop. The other part, morbidly curious as ever, wants to keep seeing the secret sickness in people who were fronting like they’ve been sane all along. Every revelation is now a new horror story that’s written itself–just adapt it with new names, locations, and certain changes to protect the guilty while still informing the innocent.

I live for this kind of thing in fiction. I don’t expect it in reality.

Who’s next? What kind of crazy “I need a shower to wash the dirt off my BRAIN” revelation is going to come to me next?

Touch

Leonard McCoy x Reader

1,666 words

Beta: @trekken81

Triggers: None, but if you find something that should be tagged let me know

Soulmate AU: You thought you were one of the few people born without a soulmate until Jim’s meddling and the touch of a Doctor prove you wrong.

Originally posted by ensignspace


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anonymous asked:

Why is calling myself a lesbian so hard? Why does even saying the word "lesbian" make me feel sick to my stomach? Why do I trip over it and stutter like an idiot when I try to express my identity? It makes me sad and I thought maybe u would be able to help me understand or lend some experience. Thank u knowledgeable gay

i absolutely understand and i still feel that way most of the time. i feel like any time i say it out loud then people are going to start acting weird around me or sexualize me in some way. i dont know, you just grow up hearing other girls whisper “i heard shes a lesbian” in the locker room about someone and you just always think. oh okay. that’s something horrible and disgusting. 99% of the time you actually hear the word is either when conservatives say it with a visceral disgust in their tone or by fellow feminist or lgbt “allies” who start their sentences with “Now I don’t want you to think I’m a lesbian but,” there’s almost no advocacy from people other than lesbians to give positive connotations to the term, or recognize the specific beauty of being a lesbian.

and it goes far beyond the word itself. the fact is that the mere existence of lesbians is one of the most threatening things to our current heteronormative/patriarchal society. and thus, language is constructed around this to put that shame into the specific terms that define us, or even talking about the facets of our sexuality in depth.

it’s annoying because i so desperately want lesbians to just live their fucking lives in peace and not have to represent some political ideal. but you can’t avoid it when things are what they are. so i guess, living unapologetically is fulfilling to me because its my small way of rebelling against those norms. an individual can’t change ingrained social stigma, but we can consciously rewrite or reclaim personal narratives that are imposed upon us so that we can have the mercy of living our lives more peacefully. i explored my feelings about being a lesbian in my short film and translating that into something visual & something that i could be proud of was transformative and liberating. i’m not sure how that would work for every other situation, but that’s just one example of taking a personal step to define yourself on your own terms. it’s a lifelong goal, and not an easy one. but you’re not alone. 

chocolateclockwise replied to your post “Would you mind telling me more about horseradish, mugwort and jasmine…”

Where did you study all of this? I’m pretty interested!

Mmmyyy mother is…a little eccentric? Doesn’t really believe in medicine, thinks some people are naturally gifted healers sent by God to absorb the suffering and pain of others…I’ll give y’all about thirty seconds to realize where this is going. 

So when a natural faith healer at the church tells my mother that her eldest child—who died twice at birth and who is always sick and seems ridiculously sensitive to those around her and is drawn to stories about fairies and Celtic myth—is an “indigo child”, well, makes perfect sense to my mother. I don’t need medical or psychological help, I’m just Special, and I’m here to heal her and everyone who needs me. 

With hindsight, I can’t fully begin to tell you how psychologically damaging that was growing up because I’m still dealing with it. But it did afford me a varied and alternate education which if nothing else, was interesting. 

When I was 16 and my math tutor turned out to be an alternative health therapist with multiple therapeutic skills. It suddenly didn’t matter that I was failing high school math, it was more important that I learn as many new ways to help people as possible. I became the youngest reiki and seikhem qualified practitioner in the UK at the age of 17. I took courses in aromatherapy, crystal healing, other types of energy healing, basic reflexology (never finished that one, would like to though), I learned palmistry and tarot from other women at our church, tea leaves too. My mother was less happy about the things she considered to be open witchcraft, but she tolerated it to some degree if it meant I was fulfilling my destiny as a healer. I also learned to be a master tea blender for my job, and got qualifications to train other people in yoga, which is what makes people telling me to try green tea and yoga for my chronic health issues so profoundly laughable because I’m literally a qualified teacher of both those things. And yet despite all this, I could never seem to help myself. But then I wasn’t supposed to, so clearly I should just put up with my pain…until I couldn’t deal with it anymore and started looking for answers. Right in time to just get really sick, which is where you find me at now, several years down the line and slowly piecing myself back together.

I don’t regret learning the things that I did, and I do find some of them to be truly beneficial and complimentary to medicine and helping with mental well being. It also introduced me to many different kinds of vulnerable people who needed help and opened my eyes to the silent suffering of others and affirmed the one thing I knew to be true in all of this, that kindness and compassion are not weakness and can often do more good than the “toughest” of love.

But it also taught me to take no harm, do no shit, and to never set yourself on fire to keep others warm.

And I’ll come hell for leather for anyone who tries to use other people’s beliefs that “natural is best” for profit and exploit that view point through to dangerous conclusions. I spent a long time surrounded by charlatans and abusive adults growing up, I have little patience for it now.