some one send me to er

So Close, Yet...

What are we having tonight? Mafiatale!Sans x Reader, Mafiatale!Papyrus x Reader, and Mafiatale!Gaster x Reader!

Appetizer:  Should be working on other stuff, buuuuut

Main Course: You like to think you’re a nice person. You’re always kind to the people around you. You like to bring sunshine into their rough lives, and try to keep a smile on your face despite the rugged times. You’re not even mean (most of the time) to the short skeleton who won’t stop teasing you, and you always greet his younger brother with a hug. You don’t even turn them in when you find out that they’re involved in organized crime, or even tell them you know for that matter.

So yeah, you consider yourself a nice person. You know, besides the fact that you’re a serial killer.

Dessert: It’s rated T, but honestly has some rough violent imagery so if you’re not good with that you gotta skit skat paddy wack, my friend.

Keep reading

Tips to MaDD-ers that need to sleep!

Hi guys! One of our main problems that the MaDD community talks about a lot is sleeping. Night time is one of the best times to daydream for a lot of us, and “regular” sleeping tips just don’t work out. Make sure all the lights are off? Been there, done that. Make sure your room is cool by opening a window? Does that actually help anybody, or does it just send the fear of bugs getting into your room at night like it does for me. Play some relaxing music? C’mon now, that’s just the worst idea I’ve ever heard.

So many things that are helpful for neurotypicals just becomes triggers for us, and that often results in succumbing to daydreaming and being tired in the morning. They don’t work. So I thought I would share some of the things I do to keep me asleep when I need to.

#1: Wear a sleep mask. They keep your eyes closed, and at least for me, that helps a lot. When I can’t pace, my eyes are what keep me daydreaming, so closing them and keeping them shut really helps. They also put pressure on your eyes, which helps lessen the pain of headaches, another problem that keeps me up at night. Some of us don’t have that much money, but there are really cheap sleep masks on eBay that come pretty fast on free shipping.

#2: Listen to a really boring story. The podcast “Sleep with Me” uploads every Sunday, Tuesday, and Thursday, and it’s all about this guy who talks in a calming voice telling stories that are never good daydreaming fuel. Currently every Sunday, he relays episodes of Star Trek: The Next Generation and they are some of my favorite things to fall asleep to, because I never liked the show. If you have access to a podcast service, it’s likely to be on there. Otherwise, google the site and there are archives of older episodes. Give it a try and see how it works!

#3: Hug something while you sleep. This is really just my personal preference, but squeezing a pillow or stuffed animal while going to sleep really helps relax my mind and keep me focused on something that isn’t daydreaming. Bonus: Putting a pillow between your legs helps relax the muscles for anybody with RLS (restless leg syndrome) or fidgeting problems.

This isn’t that long of a list, but we all work differently and react differently. This is just a starter list, and anybody is welcome to add on ideas that they use to help them fall asleep when the urge to daydream is intense. I hope this helps!

Gobber and Spitelout’s reaction

               Hiccup gulped nervously before taking a deep breath, building up enough courage to open the door to the Forge and step inside.

               “Laddie! Good to see you!” Gobber called out instantly, waving a hand in the air in greeting. The noise of the stone slowed and then stopped, allowing Gobber to toss aside the weapon and come over to give Hiccup a hearty pat on the back. “Didn’t know you were coming to Berk!”

               “Uh… had some… news for Dad.” Hiccup mumbled quietly with a small smile. “Er- you haven’t seen him, have you?”

               “Not since this morning.” Gobber replied, stepping away and tossing a leather apron in Hiccup’s arms. “While you’re waiting, give me a hand, will you? Seeing as how I only have… one.” Gobber chortled at his own joke, while Hiccup’s smile just widened.

               “I’d love to, Gobber… but I really need to find Dad.”

               Gobber quirked an eyebrow in suspicion, before yanking a lever and sending a barrel of weapons catapulting through the air and against a wall, Gobber cursing slightly at the mistake.

               “Sorry!” He shouted, scurrying to pick them up off the floor.

               Hiccup tossed the apron aside and rushed forward to assist the blacksmith, picking up the barrel of items once finished and tucking them in a corner. “Uh- I k-kinda need to-“ He murmured, inching towards the doorway. “find Dad…”

               “Something on your mind, Hiccup?” Gobber asked, placing hand and prosthetic against his hips. “You’re- stuttering again. Only do that when you’re lying or have a secret.”

               “I-I do?” Hiccup frowned and cleared his throat. “I-I do not…”

               “Well, you keep doing it. So out with it.” Gobber leaned against the work table, sending the wood creaking and bending slightly. “Come now, I’m not waiting here all day. And if you don’t tell me, I’ll… I’ll…” his voice trailed off. “Well, I’ll do something. And I’ll bet you won’t like it either. So, spill.”

               Hiccup stared at him blankly for a moment, before shaking his head and continuing towards the door. “No, really, Gobber. It’s nothing. Besides- I’m sure you’ll learn about it tonight…” Hiccup added the last as an afterthought, murmuring it under his breath.

               “Tonight, aye?” Gobber said thoughtfully. “Come on Hiccup! This is old Gobber you’re talking to! You can trust me.”

               Hiccup glared at him, while Gobber just leaned forward and smiled hopefully. “Come on…” He encouraged.

               Hiccup let out a huff of air before spinning about, ready to give it up. It was strange- how he wanted to tell, and yet he didn’t want to tell. Heck, one side of him wanted to scream it to the world, while the other part of him wanted to run off and harbor it to himself.


               “You almost told me that time! JUST DO IT, for Thor’s sake!” Gobber exploded, eyeing his apprentice in concern. “You’re starting to worry me…”

               “Nothing’s wrong!” Hiccup reassured while holding up his hands. “N-nothing at all… it’s… uh- good news.”

               Gobber froze in mid step, turning about slowly to stare at Hiccup, who fidgeted nervously. “Good news?”

Keep reading


So I reached 400 Followers! Which is crazy, because just a month ago I was celebrating 200? I adore literally all of you? Like I would die for you?

I’ve decided that every 200 followers reached, I’m gonna do a special little celebration thing, much like how i did headcanons and blurbs (literally just finished the last of them wo w) And this time, the lucky winner is Moodboards.

Give me a situation, such as “Park Dates With Tom” and I’ll make you a moodboard!

Send me a photo of you if you want a personal one!

I’m also going to tag some people, mutuals, down below that have been so sweet and caring to me. The ones that have been extra sweet will be in bold, but I love all of you.

@quackmom @webslingerholland @rileywrites-parker @tbholland @parkerroos @screamholland @spiderling–parker @hufflepuffholland @hollandroos @loverholland @zendmylife @bittersweetholland @milkcroissant @sam-a-holland @lovelyimagines @jbarneswrites @letusunalivethem @spiderwritings @tomsh0lland @tomhollandxreader @samhollandsfreckles @whatta-babe @tiny-friggin-human @hollandazing


sorry if i forgot anyone, my brain is literallt the stupidest thing ev er, but i love everyone of you, have a nice day!

PJO Characters as things me and my family once said/did

Clarisse: I use to be an equestrian rider in an all girls college, but then I got bored so I enlisted in the Army. Everyone was so shocked because I was one for defiance. 

Percy: Instead of chicken, they fry turkey. It’s Kenturkey Fried Turkey now

Annabeth: Did you just call that screw a fricker? 

Percy: Yes

Annabeth: It’s a Fother Mucker

Percy: [fumbles with Allen Wrench for a moment] Thunderbritches

Annabeth: Oh my gods

Jason: There was once a guy at my old school named Adam Levine, little blonde dude, who would sit in computer class and do nothing but play on Photoshop all day so the teacher told him to take 3 days and teach everyone how to Photoshop penguins onto Obama’s face

Piper: Percy, I don’t care how p*ssed, hungry, tired, thirsty, hot, or grumpy you are, I am NOT buying you a squid hat


Hazel: We live right next to some people who own horses, and I use to hop over the fence to go take car of them.

Frank: Did you know that the dog on that SmartBoard was Rocky the Bull Dog, and Disney sold him to the Army for just a single dollar

Leo: What the hell, why would they sell him for only a dollar

Annabeth: Military Discount

Nico: Oh my gods, I’m the gay cousin everyone talks about…

Nico: [on a text message to contact *Mom*] ‘I know what I want for Christmas. I either want a shirt that says “I’m Here, I’m Queer” or a sweatshirt that says “I’m That Gay Cousin Everyone Talks About’

Thalia: When I lived in North Carolina, 7 year old Thalia decided that she was going to climb up the tallest dogwood tree in the backyard while singing the WonderPets ‘teamwork’ song. I fell off of it from the middle and my foot got wedged between the two trunks at the bottom so I was stuck laying on the ground breathless. I walked away just fine though.

Reyna: No, but seriously, my first kiss happened when this girl who was my best friend in that state told me I didn’t look like the type who would control a kiss and dared me to kiss her, so on our way back from lunch to Pre Algebra, I pulled her into the girls bathroom and pushed her against a wall. And frenched her. She had braces too.

Piper: Why is it that when I dye my hair bright blue, a week later EVERYONE dyes their hair bright blue? I’m not even popular, I’ve got like 4 friends and thats it.

Annabeth: You see, sometimes Percy just p*sses me off soo much, but… I can’t stay mad at him. I’d be yelling at him for spilling his Dr. Pepper all over the table, but next minute he’s making puns about Cod Fish

Travis: Have you ever stolen anything in your life

Connor: Well in Albertsons they were having a sale on select-a-size salt water taffy, and I thought the purple one looked really yummy, so I kinda stuck one in my pocket and ate it when I got home without anyone knowing

Chiron: All you need in life is a wish bone, a back bone, and a funny bone

Rachel: That’s wise and all, but I seriously think your retirement quote should be “Let us mourn her with a tradition ballet *makes kazoo like noises from mouth in attempts to mimic Toxic by Britney Spears*”

Will: What kind of onions do you want

Nico: The white ones, because the red ones make me sick. 

Will: Okay…

Nico: Oooooh get the sliced ones!

Will: Why?

Nico: Because they have a rainbow for their logo and I’m gay

Apollo: Pi is Gay

Percy: What?

Apollo, slightly more persistent: Pi is Gay

Percy: How the hell is Pi gay?

Apollo: Well, Pi is 3.14, which is what helps you find the area of a circle. Rainbows are actually full circles, and Rainbows are gay. Thus, Pi is Gay

Percy: That… makes sense

Leo: When I was a little girl, my mom always had to have dogs, so we usually had labs. Specifically golden labs. My twin sister and I would take glow sticks and through them around outside at night and the dogs will chase after them. All you would see is neon green and neon yellow mouths because their sharp teeth would puncture the tube. Then they would go inside and they’ll be glowing pawprints on the rug leading to the back

Annabeth: My mom thought it would be a great idea to go get a real Christmas tree one year, so she went out and found one with these really cool bulbs on them. We took it back home, set it up, then went into town again because we lived in the middle of nowhere so we had to travel to get to places. Well, when we came back, those little bulbs had turned out to be spider pouches for eggs and the warmth of our house had made them hatch. The ceiling was COVERED in white webs and it took forever to clean out. And that, my dear children, is why Mommy is terrified of spiders and why we always get fake trees

Percy: I once put in an Easy Mac in the microwave with the intention to eat it, but forgot to put water in it so after about a minute the microwave started smelling funny. I went to go investigate, opened the door, and blue/yellow smoke plumed out. I was terrified for a full hour because I was so sure I put water in that bowl. It’s been roughly 4 years since that happened and my little sister still tells me ‘Make sure you put water in the cup!’ just to taunt me

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My yard is infested with these adorable animate hairpieces. They look soft and cuddly, but if you ever see one of these (common in the US south), DO NOT TOUCH! Those hairs conceal heavy duty spines capable of injecting a highly potent venom. Even a light brush is enough to send some people to the ER.

I had heard about flannel moth caterpillars soon after I moved to Texas, and I made a mental note to not touch anything unless I knew for sure that it couldn’t hurt me (hasn’t kept me from getting bitten but I have never been stung because I was an idiot!). I was *hoping* that Texas was overrun by these guys, but after four years of not seeing one, I gave up.

… then I moved out to the country. And these babies are EATING MY PLUM SAPLING. I suspected these were the flannel moth caterpillars because of the joke about them looking like they escaped from the head of a particular unpopular individual, but they are TINY! and all of the photos online show mature caterpillars, not young ones. However, the family is distinct in that they have 7 pairs of prolegs (their little suction cup “feet”–more than usual for caterpillars!), and guess who was showing off 14 little prolegs today?

I was a little unnerved at first. I go out into the yard every day to manhandle plants to feed to the other caterpillars, and last night I found this beautiful fluffy baby eating a leaf in the stick insect tank. Did I mention these are highly venomous? That a sting on your finger can cause shooting pain and swelling up to your shoulder? Not exactly something I want to accidentally grab. So now I go out in the sweaty 90+ degree weather wearing vinyl gloves in the hope that they will save me.

So add flannel moths to the list of caterpillars invading my kitchen. The adults are totally harmless and look like fluffy teddy bears with wings. I’m trying to exercise moderation and NOT end up with hundreds of caterpillars again, so I only have four fluffy hairpieces.


June 12, 2017

Send one of the following to see how my muse responds:
  • "I'm not saying you're an idiot, I'm just saying a smarter person would have seen that coming."
  • "I took a blood oath that I wouldn't tell you what she said about you, but if you bring me some tequila and nachos, I might be inclined to break that oath."
  • "If I told you I took a picture of you sleeping last night, would that be creepy or romantic?"
  • "I was trying to teach myself how to knit and, long story short, I'm in the ER now."
  • "I don't actually know what I've done to make you hate me so much, but I don't care anymore, so either get over it or fuck off."
  • "I love you, but the fact that you don't like ice cream creeps me out a little."
  • "If you're going to McDonald's and you don't at least bring me back fries, I'll never forgive you."
  • "I dropped your phone in the toilet, and I'm really sorry, but I'm not reaching in to get it out, so it's just... it's gonna stay there until you or someone else gets it out."
  • "If you pray for someone to meet an untimely demise, and then they do, are you karmically responsible for their death?"
  • "I've always thought that Harry Potter was overrated."
  • "I'm not saying you're evil or anything, but I'm pretty sure if you crossed a church threshold you would burst into flames."
  • "We should have a Disney movie marathon this weekend."
  • "I just really need you to shut the hell up right now."
  • "I'm a better kisser than you are; you're just going to have to accept that as a fact of life."
  • "Would you rather die by drowning or strangulation? I'm just curious, not, like, plotting your death or anything, I swear."
  • "I would do any number of borderline illegal things to get tickets to that show."
  • "We should play strip poker tonight."
Stepping Up: Part 1

Pairings: Chibs x Reader, Past Jax x Reader

Warnings: Swearing

Word Count: 5,508

Stepping Up Masterlist   Aesthetic by @ravenangel33


“You know this means nothin’ still, right?” You looked over at Jax Teller’s slurred words and scoffed.

“You called me ‘Tara’. Obviously this will never mean anything to you.”

“Whoops…” You rolled your eyes at his inability to care about anyone but himself and grabbed his shirt off the floor.

“God, you’re a piece of work.” You snapped as you threw his shirt at him. “We’ve been friends for years and you aren’t remotely sorry…”

“Why would I be? Because I called you by the name of the woman I actually love?”

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a/n: i’m finally getting around to writing these!

gotta get with you

1. The first person who recognises it is Snape.

It’s Winter, and it’s as if he actually cares what Granger does with her life, really, it’s just that he looks for any excuse to take points from her house, and this is no exception.

So, when he notices her eyes lingering on Fleur Delacour as she passes the open dungeon door, he snaps his fingers and the door slams shut.

“Miss Granger, while it is rather nice to have peace in this classroom for once instead of having to endure your relentless chatter, you fail to keep focus on your potion.” He snaps. “Five points from Gryffindor!”

Hermione bites her tongue - she knows better than to talk back - and crosses her arms over her chest.

“So, you’ve got a thing for blondes, do you Granger?” Malfoy sneers.

Hermione remains silent, but no-one can blame for sending a mis-fired hex his way, can they?


2. The second person who notices is Ron.

It’s Christmas Day, and he and Hermione are playing chess in the Great Hall - it’s the only thing he can beat her at, and he revels in it - when he sees that she is staring straight through him.

“Earthworms to Hermione, do you read me?” Ron asks, thinking that maybe she’ll snap out of it if he makes some Muggle references. “Er, Huddson. we have a problem?”

Ron turns to see what Hermione’s looking at, and frowns.

“Why are you staring at Fleur Delacour?” He asks.

Hermione shakes her head. “I’m not.”

“Yes, you are. I saw you.”

“No, I’m not.” Hermione hisses back with a glare so harsh that it almost rivals his Mother’s.

“Fine, you’re not.” Ron concedes.

Hermione nods, victorious, turning back to the chess board.

“But you admit that you were.” Ron adds.

Hermione sighs.

“I never thought I’d say this, but Malfoy was right, you DO have a thing for blondes, don’t you?” Ron smirks.

“So what if I do?”

“Awww, Hermione, you’ve got a crush on a blonde girl!” Ron says so loudly that people are starting to stare.

And, to Hermione’s horror, Fleur is one of them.

“Ron, shut up!” Hermione whispers.

“What? I’m just trying to help you out.” Ron says with a laugh.

He is so telling Harry about this.


3. Viktor Krum finds out the first time they kiss and Hermione whispers “Fleur.”

She feels mortified, but Viktor takes it about as well as she could’ve expected.

“Don’t worry, ‘Ermione, you’re secret’s safe with me.” He promises.

His smile is sad as she walks away.


4. It’s Spring, and Fleur is getting really, really tired.

All throughout Hogwarts, all anyone can talk about is that Potter’s clever, pretty, all around wonderful best friend, Hermione, has a crush on some blonde girl.

The thing is, Fleur knows who it is.

It’s Hannah Abbott.

After all, she’s the only blonde girl that Fleur has seen her talking to lately.

Not that she’s been looking at Hermione a lot, or anything.

She turns a corner, and there they are, talking and Hermione’s laughing.

Something inside Fleur snaps, and she calls “Hermione!”

Hermione turns to stare at her.

“I’m blonde, you like blonde girls, so let’s have a date?” Fleur says.

“Uh, sure.” Hermione replies, blushing from embarrassment. (Right?)


5. On the date, they drink butterbeer together and sneak out after curfew to look at the stars, and Fleur is very glad that Hermione’s become a bit more adventurous in her later years.

Fleur takes a deep breathe, and sighs. “Hermione, I admit, that when I heard you had a crush on Hannah, I was… well, jealous.”

Hermione laughs. Fleur’s face crumples.

“Oh, I’m sorry, it’s just that the blonde girl they were talking about was you, Fleur.” Hermione says.

Fleur laughs, too. Merlin, how could she have been so stupid?

“Well, that’s good, because I really like you.” Fleur admits.

“I really like you too.” Hermione says, giving Fleur a deep kiss.

(God, they’re so in love it’s disgusting.)

Z Nation theory- It’s all yellow glasses guy’s fault

This motherfucker-

This is the guy that was testing the incinerating gas on the zombie hand on zona. He’s also the guy that went to the mainland on the helicopter Warren and Murphy took. 

No big deal, whatevs. EXCEPT he goes the same time everyone on zona is losing it and he is completly fine! And I don’t know about you but I don’t remember them saying why they were leaving with mister scientist either.

Now here’s where it gets crazy(er)- In S4 Ep6 (spoilers) Warren’s got some cyborg eye shit going on

and obviously remembers and knows stuff she shouldn’t. 

Now hear me out, what if yellow eyes somehow implanted something(s) into Warren’s brain when she was in a coma? What if the gas isn’t complete and he needs more supplies. Like, I don’t know, a canister of gas in an evil scientist’s lab?

What better way to get that than send the biggest badass in the apocalypse after it? 

Maybe he was also behind the snuff house too? Remember that one guy said they were being used to look for something.

@kaya-on-the-wire thoughts?

anonymous asked:

YOUR VAMPIRE!MOSQUITO IS PERFECT! I was all like: sign me the FUCK up 👌👀👌👀👌👀👌👀👌👀 good shit go౦ԁ sHit👌 thats ✔ some good👌👌shit right👌👌th 👌 ere👌👌👌 right✔there ✔✔if i do ƽaү so my self 💯 i say so💯 thats what im talking about right thereright there(chorus: ʳᶦᵍʰᵗ ᵗʰᵉʳᵉ) mMMMMᎷМ💯 👌👌 👌НO0ОଠOOOOOОଠଠOoooᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒ👌 👌👌 👌💯 👌 👀 👀 👀 👌👌Good shit BLESS YOU FOR THAT AU

OH MY GOD I didn’t know one was capable of sending so many emojis o.o!  T-Thank you so much!!! I try my best to make vampire mosquito super hot!!

chronic-sarcasm  asked:

CP Prompt! Ransom is a vet and Holster is the guy at the front desk yelling "NO I DO NOT JUST WANT TO BUY ANOTHER GOLDFISH"

(cross posted to A03 here | my other cp writing | send me prompts)

Originally, Justin had thought that being a vet meant dealing less with people and more with animals. In his junior year of undergrad, when he shadowed an M.D. in the ER he watched as the dude got yelled at by some poor kid’s mother because it “was taking too long.” Even though it was literally the emergency room they’d only been there for an hour and the doctor was one of two in a packed emergency room.

The experience had scarred him for life, and so Justin had shadowed vets instead and realized he liked it a whole lot better than his experiences with doctors.

The one thing he forgot to take into account was that people were just as crazy about their pets as they were about their kids.

No matter what that pet may be.

“NO, I DO NOT JUST WANT TO BUY ANOTHER GOLDFISH,” a voice boomed from the waiting area.

He was in the back room, just finishing up giving a family’s new puppy his first bordetella vaccination (a lot easier said than done, it’s a nasal medicine and no one like getting liquid shot up their nose, especially puppies) when he heard it.

He made eye contact with Jenny, one of his Vet Techs, and she said “I’ll take it from here.”

He headed to the front to see what the commotion was only to see a very large, very handsome blond man talking to his receptionist in a very distressed tone.

“I don’t care what it takes, I don’t care that he’s just a fish I need to save him!” the man shouted.

Keep reading

… which way shall I fly
Infinite wrath and infinite despair?
Which way I fly is Hell; myself am Hell;
And, in the lowest deep, a lower deep
Still threatening to devour me opens wide,
To which the Hell I suffer seems a Heaven.
So farewell hope, and, with hope, farewell fear,
Farewell remorse! All good to me is lost;
Evil, be thou my Good: by thee at least
Divided empire with Heaven’s King I hold,
By thee, and more than half perhaps will reign;
As Man ere long, and this new World, shall know.

John Milton, Paradise Lost (Book IV)

Some anon was kind enough to send me a couple of songs with Samson and my Warden Amell, Bree, in mind.  So here it finally is!

Just a note, however, that one of the songs (Loverman, by Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds) mentions the word rape.  I just wanted to give people a heads up and I’ll be tagging this post with a content warning.


I had spent the night with cocoa and I couldn’t sleep anymore so I got up early and started to clean the house. I started to sing Don’t Cry Out Loud.

“ baby cried the day the day the circus came to town because she didn’t want parades just passing by her so she painted on a smile and took up with some clown while dance without a net upon the wire I know a lot about ‘er because baby is awful lot like me don’t cry just keep it inside learn how to hide those feelings fly high and proud and if you should fall remember you almost had it all.”(Ooc: can you send me the 🎶 one again I messed up)

Part 2 - Gail & Holly - Texting saga continues

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9 | Part 10 | Part 11 | Part 12 | Part 13 | Part 14 | Part 15 | Part 16 | Part 17 | Part 18 | Part 19 | Part 20 | Part 21 | Part 22 | Part 23 | Part 24 | Part 25 | Part 26 | Part 27 | Part 28 | Part 29 | Part 30

Head. Hurts. U. R. Dead. To. Me. Why u let me drink so much?
[1 image attached]

Fine then. I won’t reveal my miracle cure. Um, your money, your fault. Lookin’ good though, Peck. You always write reports with your forehead?

Yep, most of the time. Let me guess, it’s some sort of green crap made from Brussels sprouts?

Er, no, gross! Bacon and chocolate milk.

Do u swear by that? Because I will send out one of the rookies to retrieve it for me.

Yes, do it. Though perhaps be nice and buy the unlucky guy/gal a coffee for their trouble.

Too late. Sent Diaz instead and he is paying for it.

That cute tall guy? Kinda looks like a teddy bear? He is a such a sweetheart. He brought me coffee to the lab once.

Probably trying to get into your pants.


No, pretty sure he is a dude. I have seen his thingy. Numerous times.

His thingy? Oh yeah, I forgot men have thingy’s.

And u call yourself a doctor.

BTW, do women always hump your leg when your’re out in bars?

Smooth, Peck. Only when I have a hot wingwoman.

I’m flattered. Why are u taking so long to reply? You’ve got your hands in something gross haven’t you?

I have known you for less than 24 hrs and I already know you won’t appreciate what I am doing.

Well now u have to tell me.

[1 image attached]

You make me sick.

See? Told ya! Spin instructors pretty hot though, right?

You could do better.

Very doubtful.

I’m serious. Though no one as hot as me.

Meh, I’ve had better.


You are crazy.

You know, that’s not the first time someone has said that to me?

I can’t! I won’t! I don’t believe it!

You are the biggest smart-ass I have ever met.

I am not usually like this. You just seem to bring it out in me.

Well then, happy to be of service! Gotta go finish this report. You should ask out the chick directly in front of you. She looks nice, especially her ass.

She’s straight.

When has that ever stopped anyone.

xemnasthatneverwas  asked:

👗 ! Xem! <3

                   👗 Send one in and Xigbar will put something together for you

“ Er - “ He shrugs, scratching at his ear. “ Ya’ seem like a classy guy t’ me Xemnas sir, so I kinda put something together with that in mind? Mixed in some reds t’ contrast with th’ blacks an’ stuff. “

andersonhummels said: klaine, #22 … trying to play footsie with the other during a meeting (ノ◕ヮ◕)ノ*:・゚✧

(nc-17, public sex and like tiniest bit of foot fetish)

“So I brought folders for both venues, but first there’s another one I’d like to tell you about. You didn’t request it, but it fits your criteria and it’s got a certain character about it…”

Kurt glances at Blaine across the table, letting his mind drift from Paula’s monotonous drone about potential wedding venues—he knows very well which one he wants, thank you very much—and twitching a smile at his husband-to-be. Blaine’s wearing a well-fitted dark blue shirt with a yellow bowtie, and they haven’t seen each other in three days, and he looks absolutely delicious.

Kurt fiddles with his pen and stretches his feet out in front of him under the table, glancing at Paula to make sure she’s still fixated on her papers. He sinks down in his chair a bit until he can just brush the side of Blaine’s shoe, crossed neatly over the other.

Blaine glances at him and immediately realises what he’s doing, stretching his legs out as well. Kurt smirks at Blaine and drags the tip of his toe along the inside of Blaine’s foot.

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

Imagine Italy sending Germany a Snap Chat of himself making a weird face and Germany tries to discreetly send one back while in a meeting.

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