some of you are just weird weird

garnettfox  asked:

I'm starting to think your from an alternate universe and all your problems is either because your allergic to our reality, or our reality is allergic to you and it's immune system is going apeshit trying to expel you....

Little simpler than that I’m afraid. I’m from another country where the pollen is different and certain pesticides and food processing methods are illegal.

I’ve always had the weird health shit going on, moving to America just resulted in the fallout happening in my late 20s to 30s rather than my 40s and 50s like it did my parents.

Although I suppose you could then say some of the weird shit happening to me is the result of being an alien :)

anonymous asked:

Whenever I smell a really good men's perfume I always think about what Jim would smell like. He probably smells soo good. ( I was in the perfume section at a store and I tested Savage by Dior and I think he would smell like that 😩) Don't u just wanna sneak into his room when he's sleeping just to smell his neck. Or steal a shirt so u can wear it and smell like him all day. Someone needs to write a fanfic like this. ( sorry if this was too weird.. I'm weird and awkward ) ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

that’s not weird at all!! i bet he smells amazing too!! i wrote some stories about them smelling each other’s shirts. you can find them here, if you like:

- What Logic Fails to Explain

Written for this prompt: Imagine Spock stealing one of Jim’s shirts so he can smell it at night.

Summary: Jim goes away for a two week mandatory conference and Spock learns that logic isn’t everything. Pining and insecurity follow. But Jim always manages to put him back together, even if he’s not physically there.

- Actually Married

Written for this prompt: from anon… “Jim adores that his cabin and bed on Enterprise finally smells like Spock, and this is home.”

aka that one time when Jim realized that Spock was literally his space husband…

feel free to rec others if you guys know of any <3333

anonymous asked:

When I came out to my friend, she told everyone in the immediate area. She got really excited and said stuff like "Wow, I'm so glad you're a lesbian! You should meet my coworkers. Hey everyone! Have you met my lesbian friend? I can't believe I'm actually friends with a lesbian." And idk it made me feel weird? Some of our mutual friends are telling me that it was just her way of being supportive, but I don't feel supported. Is it weird for me to feel that way even though she took it well?

No, it’s not weird for you to feel like that at all! She may have meant well, but she was making a huge deal about it which would be bound to make you uncomfortable to begin with, but she also was taking something very personal that you just now told her, a friend, and telling a whole bunch of people, without your permission. She took away your control about something really personal, and in a way that could have been dangerous.

 Thankfully nothing even more awful happened, but you have every right to be upset and feel weird about this. She outed you, and that’s never okay. 


anonymous asked:

Jughead went from "the loner from the wrong side of the tracks" to "it's important for our families to get to know each other, you know, for us." He obviously wants a sense of belonging more than he ever lets on. Was his whole party freak out just a protective mechanism? And then to go from "I'm weird, I'm a weirdo" to "I love you, Betty," like the most romantic thing you could ever say...I don't think he's as weird as he thinks he is...

Juggie isn’t remotely weird, he’s actually a pretty typical edgy/intellectual teen—since I went to an academic magnet high school in NYC, most kids there acted more like him, not less. While I did think (and Betty hinted at, in episode 11) he had some sort of social anxiety—-even that appears more of a situational/PTSD sort of issue, because I’m sure if the Jr. Serpents Club threw him a party, he’d be perfectly happy (or at least okay) with it.

The other party issues were about birthdays, themselves, for him (which he might move past) and, yet again, control (and being surprised to someone who likes to control shit is NOT a good thing). Also, he just clearly wanted to get a bit further with Betty….

In the case of families….it’s made very, very obvious (and has been commented on repeatedly), that Jughead longs for nothing more than his family back together and loving—at least on some level and does, in fact, love his dad deeply. He’s just been hurt and disappointed so many times, because of his dad’s drinking. Ironically, he’s even okay with the prospect of losing FP to prison, now because he knows his dad loves him (a LOT) and is willing to, literally, do ANYTHING for him.

He’s also discovered that if he looks past his own biases a bit, FP’s actually a pretty decent person, with a sound set of morals, which is something BOTH Jug and Betty respect in people

So, tumblr’s 10 years old today. instead of doin the usual routine and jokin about what an apocalyptic sci-fi hellscape it is and roast its management, I just wanna say; I appreciate this odd old place. I’ve had some great times here. some bad times, and some legitimately surreal times too. But I can sincerely say I don’t think I’d be the same person or met as many wonderful people if I’d never signed up for this weird, weird, weird, absolute nightmare of a blogging site. I… love you tumblr, somehow, and if I can’t say it today then I never will. Thanks tumbl. Please fix your site

lemonbird  asked:

IMPORTANT QUESTION. Vampires aren't suppose to enter a premise without being invited right? What if a hermit vampire was living in his falling apart old castle and some fuck bought it as a "fixer upper", would the vampire just glitch out on to the lawn or would he be okay since he lived there before?

Okay so this would depend on where you are in the world, and whether or not they had squatters rights (can’t be evicted and can apply for legal ownership of place once they have been there for X amount of years) but I mean, the dude owns the place, even if it is a run down mess he was still there first and there’s probably some ancient land ownership law which can’t be overwritten by modern laws (you find all sorts of weird things are still technically legal cause no one bothered to update the books since 1645) so basically whoever just bought this castle to turn it into a modern fixer upper, congrats, you also just bought yourself a vampire and he’s not going anywhere.

(Also now I kind of want to write this where a family buys it to turn it into a hotel/wedding venue and the kids find the vampire in the attic and he ends up being the weird uncle who gets roped into hilarious wedding related shenanigans?? Like 

“Okay yes fine, you can host weddings here, but registrar only, no religious ones.” 
“But Theolodious, why?”
“Really Sharon, really, do I have to spell it out for you. Really.”


“We really should increase the lighting for photographs, what about skylights?”
“How about I just set all of you on fire while you’re trying to sleep.”


“Please, for the love of god, please don’t let people throw confetti or rice, I’m begging you.”


“Okay what’s our final head count for the night?”
“Are you sure?”
“Did I fucking stutter Steve?”


“Uncle Theo, why does the groom have “help me” on the bottom of his shoes, why is everyone laughing?.”
“Because small one, humanity has failed collectively as a species and heteronormativity is a constructed lie designed to oppress over half the population for not conforming to arcane and chauvinistic ideals put in place by dead scholars who have long since turned to dust and have no place influencing modern society.”
“Permanence is an illusion.”


“Madame, flattering as your offer is for a quickie, you’re not my type.”
“What is your type then?” ;) ;) ;)
“O negative.”


“Whoo, what a day, I could eat a horse.”
“…well obviously I’m not going to.”


“Theo…are you…are you crying?”
“You big softie, I never thought someone like you would cry at a wedding.”
“…I’ve lived a long life, Sharron. People come and go, the christening you bless will be the funeral you mourn in less than a century. But people keep saying “I love you”, that has to count for something.”

i draw joseph and caesar casually a lot when i’m bored 

Um this isn’t a fandom blog or any kind of blog really but I had this conversation with fellow fannibal @franicie about murder husbands on social media and I. I had to. And then she suggested I put it on here, so. Just a little sketch thing, used references but drew it quickly so excuse my lazy handwriting/general sloppiness!!

Sometimes it feels like I’m drowning and I just–suffocate.

Lance starts being afraid of what he loves

(tryna color but obviously failing)

bonus slav:

they bond over mutual fear (shiro is not amused and hunk is low key worried about lance)

Humans are weird

Imagine aliens finding out some humans keep plants as friends. Like they interact normal with all other plant life but they have a few special plants that they keep in their room and they name them and talk to them.
“Human Rebecca, why do you require this plant in your sleep quarter? Does provide nourishment?”
“What? No, Sammy’s my friend.”
“It does not appear to being communicating. Is it hurt?”
“He doesn’t talk, K'ran. He just listens. He’s a special plant.”
“It appears like any other plant.”
“Its complicated”

Humans are Weird

As you might’ve noticed, I jumped BIG into the Humans are weird/humans are space orcs tumblr posts. Here’s one I haven’t stumbled upon (though I’m sure it exists already) but fashion. Not even high fashion like Paris but just how general cliques dress and how common make up is.

A color shifting species might see a human apply make up to themselves and think it cute and endearing the human wants to be able to change their colors in certain areas. More interesting it’s noted that some humans do the same makeup everyday (eyeliner + gloss), while others use many different colors and patterns and products (eyeliner, bronzer, blush, highlighter, eyebrows, eyeshadow, mascara, lipstick, etc).

Along with makeup, humans seem to only clothe themselves in certain styles. Now these styles vary wildly between different humans and specialty stores pop up centering around these preferences. It is rare to see a “punk” human enter a “preppy” store. Many humans become offended at the question of why they are so strongly tied to their chosen styles, no explanation given other than that the other styles are not desirable by said human.

Humans are weird

I really love this whole humans are like the biggest oddity for aliens idea.
And I had this idea that’s swimming in my head for a while now.
If the aliens already think it’s a wonder we survive the conditions of our planet,
how must they think about our way of reproduction.
I mean the whole mammal-thing developed
practically only cause a little creature once thought:
“Eggs!?When they’re dinosaurs everywhere??I have a better idea!”

So what if aliens never needed to make this step?
When their reproductions are mostly through eggs,
sometimes other things and never like our system?

I mean just imagine:
You are one of the first humans to become a crewmate of a alien crew.
It was your dream since the first contact was made.
You were prepared for almost everything.
Just not for giving every damn alien you meet “the bloody talk“!

Somewhere in a bar on Planet Ur’tlz:

Alien A: “Whoa, this humans are really useful and stronger than they look!
You would never believe what the human of my ship did!”

Alien B: “Please tell me they didn’t gave you ‘the talk’….I’m still traumatized…”

A: “….what are you talking of?”

B: “I made the error to ask how they get their eggs to be safe
despite the dangerous planet they live on….they don’t lay eggs!”

A: “What?!

B: “They carry their brood like….
like parasites *shudder* in their body for almost a Quertemz!
Then they squeeze them through tiny body openings!
Sometimes for days!DAYS!

A: “Uh….”

B: “And it’s common to only get one offspring per reproduction!One!
They can die in the process, for Iz’klls sake!”

A: “I think my digestive system is rebelling…”

B: “So I decided to oversee the contact my human makes with other humans.
Because of some reason they only reproduce with humans of other gender,
so its not that hard….

A: “A bit….drastic, don’t you think?

B: “I like my human crew mate!
I don’t want them to die just cause the other humans
can’t let their weird little limbs of them!”

A: “Sounds like they imprinted on you.”

B: “Maybe…sounds like something crewmate George would do…”

more humans are weird...

Okay, so we’ve talked about inanimate objects like Stabby the space roomba. Fair enough, the aliens think, after adjusting their mental frameworks a little. It moves around, it’s got some intelligence, humans just aren’t very good at distinguishing ‘animate’ and 'inanimate’ and will pack-bond with anything that moves. Weird, but okay.

But then:

Human Sashi: What are you doing??!

Alien fusid: …Eating the first meal of the day? I believe you call it 'breakfast’?

Human Sashi: No, I mean… you’re using my cup!

Alien fusid: Dishes were provided by the space station.

Human Sashi: Well, some of us brought our own – my friend doesn’t like them; too standardized. But that’s not what I was talking about. That’s my cup!

Alien fusid: I apologize, but it looks exactly like the other cups.

Human Sashi: No it doesn’t.

Alien fusid: …What?

Human Sashi: It’s got a chip in the corner, see?? I mean, it’s fine, but just… don’t do it again, okay.

Alien fusid: I had the strangest interaction with a human today.

Alien Wimu: The humans are quite odd. What occurred?

Alien fusid: It had pack bonded to a cup.

Alien Wimu: …a cup?

Alien fusid: Yes. It is a regulation cup, but it has a chip. Apparently, we are not to touch it.

Alien Wimu: …

Alien fusid: …

Alien Wimu, meditatively: The humans are certainly very, very odd.

I’ve been switching antidepressants these past few months and it’s been tough. Even though I tapered directly onto the next one, it still feels noticeable. I was on a medication from ages 12-21 and it’s just now leaving my body. Kinda weird to think about. It’s weird to be in a state where you know some feelings are withdrawal symptoms but there’s just no way to tell anything apart. Just gotta hold on. Shout out to anyone else out there dealing with this stuff. Hard. If I can you can 

~Legend says a Goddess watches over each clan. The Healing Goddess, Sakura, in charge of the Hatake clan was once disguised as the koi the Hatake clan has taken care of way back when Konoha was founded. Being the last of the Hatake, Sakura must take care of Kakashi in order to make sure his line continues [wink wonk]. But he has to prove himself worthy of her presence; else she becomes another clan’s Goddess.~

I also don’t know why a Goddess would hold a scalpel but I love the idea of her threatening people (Kakashi) with it when she’s pissed

How the Signs Kiss/How the Signs Are in Bed

~~~Use Sun and Mars~~~


Good: Destructive and fierce, they have a firm hold on you and they let you know they won’t let you go
Bad: Teeth-bashing aggression and broken noses


Good: Sensual and romantic, with a twinge of dark desire
Bad: Like a dead fish, there’s nothing to work with


Good: Wild and exciting, constant stimulation with a surprising intensity
Bad: They get distracted by their own voice and all they do is talk about what is happening instead of making anything happen


Good: Nurturing and sweet, surprisingly fun and full of laughter and intimacy
Bad: They cry


Good: Passionate and dirty, it’s raw and intense
Bad: Make you do all the work and treat you kissing them like a peasant serving royalty some grapes


Good: Attentive and trustworthy, like you feel like they love you already and they’ll take care of you
Bad: Cold and controlling


Good: Fun and sweet, it feels like a smile and sunshine
Bad: Just a fuckshit of awful, either they try to eat your face or don’t know how to open their mouths and they try to talk dirty to you and it’s embarrassing


Good: Passionate and all-enveloping you feel like it’s the only thing in the world
Bad: Say weird intense shit to you or want you to do some weird ass stuff


Good: Playful and hot, they know how to get you where you need to go and aren’t shy about doing it
Bad: Sweaty and too forward


Good: Dominating and intense, you just trust they know what to do
Bad: Straight up mean and even a little creepy


Good: Fun and interesting and they feel like electricity running through you
Bad: Selfish and not all there somehow


Good: Hypnotic and magnetic, you’re just lost in a dream with them
Bad: Just there

““they” used in the singular sense just doesn’t sound/feel natural to me :/” buddy i just.. don’t care? like i genuinely don’t care how “weird” it feels to you? b/c it’s been going on forever, been used for ages. whether it feels natural to you or not, it.. is natural. it’s fine. it’s not weird. just say/use it & move on. you don’t have to turn this into a huge show of “haha! how weird! so weird! it’ll take me some time to adjust, b/c it’s so weird, to me! it sounds funny! haha” every single time you say it. like.. just use the word. don’t monologue about how you don’t understand it & how funny you think it is. no one cares, sincerely. not one single person

Undertale Aesthetics: Waterfall

(You hear a passing conversation.)

Signs as Medieval Fiction Tropes
  • Aries: Warrior dude who saves the girl
  • Taurus: King #1 who is goodish but also is an asshat and is only really doing as well as he is bc his assistant is manipulating him
  • Gemini: The dude you meet at the inn and tells you all the lore about the land / dude who sets up quests
  • Cancer: Girl who needs saving
  • Leo: King #2, overthrew Taurus and Scorpio, basically wants to kill everyone and everything. Dgaf about the people, but that gold is looky mighty damn fine. Type of king to set up some battles and shit. Wars.
  • Virgo: The mother who tells the warrior girl who "isnt like the others" that she's being a daft cunt and needs to shut up and sew before someone in their family dies of cold
  • Libra: "I'm in love with him, Father! And you can say or do nothing to keep us apart!"
  • Scorpio: The assistant to Taurus
  • Sagittarius: The girl who says she isn't like the others and secretly has a bow.
  • Capricorn: King #2's assistant, who he ignores. Was/Is Commander of the Military as well. Hella dough. Rich ass family. Secretly has a better life than the king, but pretends he doesn't.
  • Aquarius: Rebel princess who was in some shitty circumstances and basically just wants to unite shit and does so little by little but everyone is being so. damn. difficult.
  • Pisces: Can use magic. Or claims to, at least. Has some weird abilities. Weird ass elusive dude who teaches you shit and you wonder if they were actually there or not... weird.